Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Two Open Wounds with Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

  Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes close out their couples counseling session with a discussion about what it’s like raising their baby in NYC, the joy of running errands, and why bringing your kid to a restaurant is chaos.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline.

Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships

and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Quartz Love. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Quartz Love Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more.

Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to Couples Counseling with Chelsea. I am here with my friends Rosebud Baker and her husband, Andy Haynes. Hi, Rosebud and Andy. Thank you for being here today as a couple. On the subject of having a baby, like, I mean, I know you guys are married, but there's a level of permanence that comes along with the baby.

Yeah. That kind of, so I'm curious, as somebody who will never be married or have a baby, what does that shift feel like? Because before you get the baby, anyone can just leave. And yes, it's hard to get a divorce, but it's not that hard. Right. It's actually not hard. I mean, anyone can do it. It's achievable. Yeah. Well, here's where I stand with it. It's like when Andy and I are having problems, if I think like worst case scenario, you know, like, oh my God, what if we're going to, what if we get a divorce and we have to like

split custody of like, you know, and all this shit. Andy's not someone that I could ever look at and be like, I never want to see you again. There's never, you know, like I married someone and I had a baby with someone that I want in my life no matter what whatever happens so I kind of remind myself of that if there's ever a moment where we're like going through a really bumpy period and we're like oh my god what's gonna happen you know you kind of can't live in fear of that happening because if you do you will end up just like committing to a life that you don't care if you're happy in or not you know like you gotta be willing to go okay this could happen but we don't want it to we're gonna work towards not letting that happen no matter what but if it were to

happen at least i know like that that's happening with him because I love him just as a person, you know, like outside of now I feel like I'm getting a little too sweet. But yeah, don't show your underbelly to the masses. But yeah, I want him in my life no matter what. Well, I think also what you something you said is really important is that if you're so working so hard to avoid the breakdown of a relationship, it's probably more inevitable. You have to work with the notion that if that did happen, everything would be OK. And I think you have a higher chance of survival being a pragmatist about relationships, right? Like that way you have a healthy attitude and you're like, of course, you don't want your relationship to break up, but you also can't look at the possibility of that

as like, you know, ending your life. Like it's going to ruin everything in your life. And I think a lot of couples do that. They get so codependent with each other that the thought of a breakdown in the relationship is like, oh, no, no, no, I'm going to be alone. I'm going to be alone. And it's like, no, you're not.

Everyone's going to, everyone survives. You know, and it's not like you oh, no, no, no, I'm going to be alone. I'm going to be alone. And it's like, no, you're not. Everyone's going to everyone survives. Right. And it's not like you're looking forward to it, but it's understanding you have the knowledge and like the capability to handle the situation. Yeah, it did. It did change our relationship immensely, though, because when we were, you know, like we what did having the baby? for sure because like i i commuted to london for six months the end of 2022 and i would be in london for four weeks to six weeks what were you doing there i worked for a soccer team doing like making content for a soccer team and then doing comedy over there and we we wouldn't talk for four days you know know, sometimes. That's nice. And we had a kind of relationship where it wasn't like, I mean, I didn't love not talking to her, but I wasn't worried. And we had a relationship where we could check in, you know, shoot a text every couple of days.

And I wasn't like, oh, what's happening with us? And I remember when Rosebud told me she was pregnant, I was like getting ready to go back over to Europe and do a bunch of stuff. And it was like, and I hadn't told her everything like my, because it wasn't even like that. Our marriage wasn't like, where will you be then? Where will you be like that? And now it's like, where are you going to be at 2 p.m. today? Yeah. Like we can't leave the house without checking in with each other. That was like a huge, and I don't know why I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I didn't either. I don't think most people think about it because you're pregnant for nine months,

but the day you bring that baby home, you're never leaving your house again. So nine months isn't really enough of a preparation. I know you wanted it to be shorter because your pregnancy, you were dying in the end but like it's just not enough time to prepare no to have a baby in your house and you can never fucking do anything again without checking to make sure there's no there's literally nothing that can prepare you for it i just was like i guess i thought both of us were like we thought like oh we'll have a baby there, but we can just do whatever we were doing before. We just have a baby.

We'll take her to the comedy club. It's so crazy how I can't even focus on what the thing that I want to focus on if she's around because I'm just like watching her and laughing. And do you feel like you've had to make a lot of sacrifices since you've had the baby with your like personal lives or i was saying last night if we went to i was like if if somebody thinks that they're ready to have a kid they should bring they should go to a nice restaurant with their significant other and bring a bat on a leash yeah yeah and just see how that goes yeah go to a movie theater with a dog that you give a cup of coffee. Yes.

Yeah. It's like, it's just, it's nonstop. And it's the best way to describe it is it's the best thing I've ever done. And it also ruined my life. You know what I mean? Like, it's like that kind of juxtaposition. It like ruined our lives for the better. Yeah.

But it fucking, there's days where it sucks ass and then there's days where it's like oh my god like that's the coolest thing that's the coolest thing i've ever seen and it's not even like it's just cool to us it's not cool to anyone else so there's something that there's something about that that like i feel like so much closer to him based off of that yeah you know I can see that. It's like trauma bonding. Yeah, it is trauma bonding. Yeah, for sure.

I'll tell you this. I've learned that I was doing this selfishly, but all the women in marriages with babies, you should know that if your husband is offering to do a lot of errands and chores, it's actually, it's a hack. They already know that. Oh, they do oh they already know this okay i'm sorry yeah everyone knows that you guys aren't doing chores no we are doing that you're

doing it to get a vacation you're doing chores but i get to leave you yeah oh my god i was so fucking furious that drove me fucking crazy his errand running oh my god he'd be like i have to move the car i'm like i'm moving the car i just started taking his errands that's the number one thing i miss about la is what running errands just getting in a car and doing a bunch of shit oh yeah i loved it running errands really target yeah that's so during the pandemic he was oh oh yeah so you must be so fucking organized right your house is so organized yes he's always like taking shit out of drawers and reorganizing the drawers. It's funny because Rosebud is also organized, but it's all surface. Like you'll open a drawer and it'll

just be like an old Nabisco's bag and a bubble gum and her underwear. Nine iPhones ago. Bubble gum in my underwear? Probably, but after it's been in the drawer for a little while. Yeah. If we're getting to the pudding blowjob.

The toffee pudding. Toffee pudding. I mean, I think you guys are going to do the toffee pudding. Someone's going to get it. We just don't know who it's going to be. We have a really nice white duvet. You have to wait for you at a hotel situation. You don't do that at your own house, obviously.

She was in a car, so that's cleanable. Right. We need some kind of booth situation where we can use the shower attachment. That's never going to Right. We need some kind of booth situation where we can use the shower attachment. That's never, let me tell you something. That's never going to happen in your life. Whatever Chelsea just suggested, it's never going to happen. I know it's not. I should have suggested it before you had a baby and before you like hit your one year

anniversary. It still wouldn't have, I wouldn't have done it. I'm going to do it to somebody. You should. I fucking think it's great. Absolutely. I mean, give somebody a toffee blowjob and pour toffee and ice cream on their dick while you're, I mean, that's so nice.

It was a sundae? It was like a toffee pudding situation, but it fell out of the cup. And I just thought this is going to inspire millions. Like so many women are going to want to do that. I mean, and I'm not like, you know, a, I mean. Well, you got to find, yeah. You got to find someone that like, you know,

that you really want to pleasure. Right. But it's a very nice idea. For Right. It's a very nice idea. For sure. It's a really nice thing. Because think about what would happen if somebody was on the receiving end of a blowjob, a toffee pudding blowjob. That would be like one of the best days of your life. You didn't get me a birthday present.

You get a Willy Wonka golden ticket and a toffee pudding blowjob? Yeah. Maybe it could be a belated. Just something for you guys to think about. I feel like all couples need to think about it and that's why I'm introducing it. We'll revisit when she moves out.

Okay. Yeah. God. If you even still have a penis at that point. Jesus Christ. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle.

One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors

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It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts

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a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together.

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I am Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's Editor-at-Large for Jobs and Career Development, and my show Get Hired brings you all the information you need to, well, get hired. People are forming opinions of you even before you log into the Zoom or walk into the room, and so you really have to think about what is it I want to display. You don't plant a garden and then just walk away and expect it to thrive. You are in there pulling out the weeds. You're pruning it. You're watering it.

It's the same thing with your network. You should always be in there actively managing your network. If you don't feel confident to say a number, even admitting that to a recruiter is going to be far better than saying, well, what is your budget for the role? A lot is in the follow-up, right? Don't wait to follow up. Whether you're a new grad, an established professional, or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen. So what are your next steps in moving forward with your family?

Are you guys, like, focusing on, are you done? Are you wanting to have more children? Like, do you have any plans? Are you just being in the moment? I'm I'm being in the moment. But also I feel like this is I think we're one and done. Yeah, I think we're one and done. Yeah, it's it is an impossible job.

It's also like I think it's like if we stay in new york it's so much different you know if yeah if if you can go someplace where like it's normal to have three and four bedrooms but manhattan is just like it's and it's also like i take her out and it's like it's already i have a wild animal and then it's like a guy smoking crack and another guy's shitting in the corner it's a lot yeah and it feels like i didn't want to like completely give up our lifestyle when we when we got pregnant i was like look i don't want to forget myself i don't want to forget what what makes me happy i don't want you to forget what makes you happy and i want to keep doing the things that like fill us up so that our daughter isn't like being raised by two shells, you know? So I just want to like do a great job now.

And if at some point we're like, oh, I think we actually could do this again. We have six baby girls in a freezer somewhere down the- Embryos? Yeah. So we can- Six girls? That's a high number of girls. Yeah.

Well, you're from a family of girls and you're from a family of girls. Yeah. So I guess that does add up. Yeah. Yeah. But I think we're good with one. Yeah, I think it's just we want to do our jobs. I think we're just like we spent the year getting used to this.

And then I think now we want to do our jobs so that our daughter sees two really happy parents. I think that's kind of the goal, you know, and whatever that means. I don't I don't know where we'll live. I don't. That's the nice thing about it. And I don't know what. Would you ever consider moving out of New York? Yeah.

We've thought about it. Every time we come back, I'm like, I'm not leaving. And then every time we leave, I'm like, I think about it. So it's everywhere I go. I think about living. Yeah. Every fucking place I go. I'm like, I'd think about it. So it's, you know. Everywhere I go, I think about living. Same. Every fucking place I go, I'm like, I could live here. Same.

Is it Napa? I'm like, I don't know. I don't live in Napa. Yeah. Healdsburg. Yeah, Healdsburg. I love Healdsburg. Man, I'm just like, I love outdoor stuff.

So it's really hard sometimes with New York. Andy loves imagining a life somewhere else. It is everywhere. It is everywhere. I think that's what we're drilling down on is that we all, everyone is always fantasizing about what it would be like. But we did go to Seattle and it was like, we got off the plane and it was like so clean. And I was just like, oh my God, like, cause I'm from there.

And it was just like, oh, this is like what air used to be like. Yeah. Yeah. The Pacific Northwest is where it's at. Yeah, it was good. For the clean air and for the toffee pudding blowjobs. Is that where the book takes place? We're going to end on that note.

Oh, wow. We're going to end. You guys, this was very sentimental. I really enjoyed it. Was it too Barbara Walters-y? No, not at all. Because you know what? Sometimes they're ridiculous and sometimes they get serious.

It's kind of good to have it all over the shop. Okay, good. All I care is that it's sincere. Okay, good. No, not at all I care is that it's sincere. No, not at all. We're like two open wounds. I know, I love it. Thank you guys for doing it. I appreciate it. Thank you for being open enough to come and do it.

I mean, not like it's a real therapy session. It was for us. You are talking about your dirty laundry. And that's all for this week with Rosebud and Andy. Tune in next time as we continue couples counseling with Chelsea.

You can check out Rosebud and Andy's podcast. It's called Find Your Beach. Andy will be on tour in Dallas, Oklahoma City and Tulsa in September,

Amsterdam on October 25th and then he has two dates in Milwaukee in December. So check out his Instagram and TikTok at I'm Andy Haynes H-A-Y-N-E-S, for tickets to those dates and for more. And you can find both Andy and Rosebud on YouTube. Rosebud

will be taping her new special on September 16th in New York at the Village Underground, and you can get tickets to this and more of her dates at RosebudBaker.com. And you can find her on Instagram and TikTok at RosebudBaker. Upcoming shows that I have, I'm coming to Texas, I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City, and then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Okay.

Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline. Transformational.

The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor,

what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts welcome to decisions decisions the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid

join your favorite hosts me Weezy WTF and me Mandy B as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.