Dear Chelsea - Minisode: What a Fun Problem

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

Chelsea + Catherine tackle their most fun problem yet in another Couples Counseling with Chelsea minisode. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Calling all Yellowstone fans. Let's go to work. Join Bobby Bones on the official Yellowstone podcast for exclusive cast interviews, behind the scenes insights, and a deep dive into the themes that have made Yellowstone a cultural phenomenon. Our family legacy is this ranch. I'm the architect of my life. Listen to the official Yellowstone podcast now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III, and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilburger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter.

Listen to My Legacy on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is My Legacy. I'm so sick of hearing men talk about women's basketball. This is Lexi Brown. And Mariah Rose. And we've got a new podcast, Full Circle. Every Wednesday we're catching you up on what's going on in women's basketball. We've got you with analysis, insight stories, and a little bit of tea.

Full Circle is an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Full Circle on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. This week on the R&B Money podcast, Tank and Jay Valentine sit down with the one and only Snoop Dogg. I wanted to be here personally

to come give y'all your flowers and let y'all know y'all doing an amazing job. I love the outlet. I love how y'all treat the artists that come on here. I love how y'all speak to let y'all know y'all doing an amazing job. I love the outlet, I love how y'all treat the artists that come on here, I love how y'all speak to the realization of R&B music and R&B money. Snoop Dogg on R&B money. Listen to this episode on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi guys, it's Chelsea and Catherine here. So today Catherine, we are doing one of our mini-soads, and so we have one couple calling in for couples counseling, correct? Exactly, exactly. And for anybody else who wants to write in, please write in. Yes, for sure. Love.

Chelsea gives great advice for couples. Yes, yes. I am just, I'm flawless in my advice giving, everybody. I mean, so far, it's been four years. I will. I mean, not four years of a hundred. I'm sure there are some upset customers, but that's par for the course. It's not like I have a degree.

Just operating on vibes. Good vibes. I'm operating on good fucking vibes, okay? Exactly. So that's what you're going to get. We were just talking about menopause because, so Naomi Watts wrote this book about menopause because she's been like the leading face of menopause in the last couple of years.

I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been outspoken and she started this beauty company called Stripes. She just gave me a ton of lube and all this stuff. You can shove up different areas of your body and also facial moisturizer because your skin changes during menopause. Anyway, she asked me to, you know, for a blurb for the book. So she sent the book and as I was reading the book I got all of the symptoms of menopause. Anyway, she asked me to, you know, for a blurb for the book. So she sent the book.

And as I was reading the book, I got all of the symptoms of menopause. I was like, I started having hot flashes. I was like, oh my God. And then I was like, oh my God, am I, is it real or psychosomatic? That's what I said. I was in my orca at the time and I had a man in my bed and I was like every night, like get the fuck away from me. Like, you know, more so than usual. And I was like, don't touch me. You know, I was like every night like get the fuck away from me like you know more so than usual and I was like don't touch me you know I was so hot hot flashes and my

sister goes you're so impressed she goes you just read about something and then it happens to you she's like you and I'm like no obviously I am going through perimenopause I'm 49 years old I mean it would make sense so I then I come home and I get these pills called bona fide for anyone out there with hot flashes. As soon as I started taking them, my hot flashes ceased. So I had hot flashes for like a week, okay? And I've had a hot flash before, but not like consistently every night. So I was convinced. I'm like, oh, I'm going through panoply. I have to get my hormones checked. And so I take these bonafide. It works. I tell my sisters, I send them both a picture. I'm like,

you guys, if you have hot flashes. And my sister's like, I'm 59, so I'm not having hot flashes, you idiot. And my other sister, my other sister goes, she goes, that worked for you? She goes, I tried that product for six months, it did not work for me. Just like you were suggested, just like you read about menopause

and then decided you had it, now it's being cured by something that doesn't work. And I was like, I disagree. Anyway, she's like, it's so funny that you're actually very impressionable. Like you're kind of malleable. Like you just sway. That's why I would be a terrible juror

because my opinion changes so quickly based on like people's looks. If they have a dimple. Anyway, so the moral of the story is I was out with Naomi and a couple of other girlfriends the other night and she loaded me up with products because your skin can get dry during perimenopause. Oh, the company's called Stripes

and we're gonna do an episode with Naomi. We're gonna have her come on and do a menopause episode because that's very important. We've got a lot of requests for that actually. Oh really? Oh perfect. Okay, so let's do that. Yeah, and if you have menopause based questions,

questions about perimenopause, write them in this weekend, because I'll start going through those. We're gonna record that episode with her really, really soon. So then I get my hormones checked and my doctor called me and I have an ablation so I don't get my period. And my doctor just called me this morning and she says, my estrogen levels,

there's a height where your FHC or something, FH something, FHS. FHS, F. Something like that. FSH. Whatever direction it's supposed to go in when you age, mine has gone in the opposite direction. Okay. Right, because you were like fertile Myrtle before you got your version. No, but I'm more, she's saying I'm fertile

still. Yeah. Still. And I was like, wait a second. And I was like, this is so funny. My cousin goes, every time you go to the doctor, they tell you like, your liver looks incredible or your heart is the size of a 25 year old. She's like, how is that possible with as much shit you do? And I'm like, but I also keep my shit together. That's right, you work out a lot. It's a very actually healthy balance if you think about it. Exactly. And it's now being confirmed by the medical community.

So just start doing tons of drugs in your 20s or maybe before. Well, no, I don't wanna advocate that. You have to have the right personality for drugs. I have it. They're not for everyone. You have to have the right personality for drugs. I have it. Yeah. They're not for everyone. You have to know if you are the right personality type.

And if you are, you'll know. So if you're asking, you're not. Yeah. You know I'm very low tolerance when it comes to any drugs. I'm like, I have found like just whatever is like an eighth of a dose for someone else that's making them feel great. Like that's what's going to make me feel fine or not stressed about it at least.

Yeah, right, you can't handle drugs. No, I can't. No heavy drugs. I said to my doctor, I said, so can I still get pregnant? And she goes, you're definitely still ovulating. And she goes, but Chelsea, you had an ablation. I'm so stupid. You got toasted. I thought you could still have a baby after an ablation. I mean, who knows?

Well, I do have a follow-up from a previous episode. Is it a happy ending? It actually is a happy ending. I mean, what if some people were just trying to sue us for our bad advice? Please don't sue us. So this comes from Kelly. She wrote in on our Paul W. Downs episode

about her fear of flying, if you remember her. And she said- What was the advice that I gave her? I think a lot of pills and just go do it basically But Kelly says dear Chelsea quick follow-up message on my chat with you and Paul W Downs Dear Chelsea shortly after the chat about my flight anxiety with you Catherine and Paul Downs I'm a huge fan by the way. I faced my fears and booked a flight

I got back from my first trip to New I faced my fears and booked a flight. I got back from my first trip to New York City last week and it was so much fun. With support from you, my therapist, my partner and Ativan, I faced my fear with a calm and confident smile on my face. I always imagined I'd be in tears. I arrived so well prepared that I didn't even need

to use most of the coping mechanisms I'd prepared. Uh, hello. This is amazing. It's working. I can't wait to talk about this. I feel invincible now. I look at travel in a different light. This feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Thank you for encouraging me and all listeners to be bold and brave. It's much appreciated. Sending love to you and strength to all who want to face a fear, you got this. P.S. Speaking with you three was such a unique and memorable experience. As a bonus, I now have an actual fun fact for those classic group icebreaker activities. Take good care, Kelly.

That is so cute. Isn't that great? Yeah, because this is really, I wanna talk about this a little bit. When you, and I don't mean hollow optimism. When I'm trying to talk about positivity and being positive, I don't mean like being empty positive. Like, ah, it's all gonna be-

Toxic positivity. No, not toxic. That's different. Oh, okay, okay. Well, no, maybe it's similar, but like, you know, it's all gonna be okay. It's like, no, no, my mother just died. It's not gonna be okay right away.

I don't mean hollow optimism. I mean, when you choose to look at whatever situation is in front of you and you actually mentally reason with yourself that it's okay to be optimistic and and purposeful and intentionally optimistic, you know, with your back up straight and holding your head up high. If you can approach things in that way, the obstacles become fewer and fewer. If you have that attitude like she's talking about, she didn't even need all of the things that she thought she was gonna need

because she had actually worked her way through the problem and was ready to face her fears in a powerful, confident way. Not like, I'm gonna go fucking do this in a way that I'm capable, I'm strong, and I'm gonna get through this, and then you do even better than you thought you were gonna do. This is making me feel like,

so I faced a fear of heights while we were on our Italy vacation, and it did not go well. And part of me was like, well, great, I never have to do heights again. And then another- What happened? We went to the top of the Duomo in Florence, which was highly recommended and also totally terrifying

for a person with a fear of heights. So it was a little bit traumatic. Did you start to get scared on the way up? So on the way up, it's just like this little staircase that's all enclosed, which was fine. And then you get up into this inner circle of the dome and you're looking down inside. And that for me was kind of the worst part

because it was so narrow and like people were stopping. So I couldn't just like rush ahead and get through. And so I was sort of like trapped up there. And so that was sort of the worst part. And then you get to the roof and you have this beautiful view. Is the roof separate from the top of the dweller? Yeah, you like keep going and then you're outside

looking at the like the view of the city. And so I thought like, oh, I can brave my fears. But part of me also feels like maybe now I actually do need to conquer this fear of heights that I didn't used to have. But I think once my frontal lobe was fully formed, I became afraid of heights. I mean, it's kind of pretty natural to be scared of heights. Like it doesn't feel good when you look over the edge of a skyscraper. That's not a fun, happy feeling.

Nobody feels like, oh, you know, so I think it's pretty common to be fearful. As long as your fear doesn't become paralytic. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is I was like, I never have to do anything heights again. I never have to do it again. But then I was like, you know what? I anything heights again. I never have to do it again. But then I was like, you know what? I feel like this means that I need to conquer it. And by conquering it, the only thing you can do is exposure therapy.

So I'm like, now I think I feel like I need to do a lot of things like this. Like bungee jumping. No, no, I don't think you have to go bungee jumping. Okay, all right, if I'm off the hook from you then. Yeah, I just, some fears need, that's not. I'm natural. It is you then. Yeah, I just, some fears need, that's not. I'm natural. It is natural to be scared of fucking falling

off of a building. I think so. All right, thank you, Chelsea. I feel very validated. You're welcome, you're welcome. You didn't even have to call in. I know. Well, we do have a caller. Actually, we have two callers.

Okay, great. Is it just us? It's just us today. It's a mini zone. Oh, okay, perfect. It's a couple of tons of new tossies. I love when I find out about it at the show after we mini-zone. Oh, okay, perfect. It's couples' cups and a tossie. Oh, okay, I love it. I love when I find out about it at the show after we start taping.

Yeah, exactly. This is what we do. It's always a surprise. I know. My life is a surprise. Hey, y'all. This is Reed from the God's Country Podcast. We had the one and only Bobby Bones in the studio this week and we cover everything from his upbringing to his outdoor experiences

with his stepdad Arkansas Keith to the state of country music. We may even end the episode with a little jam session led by Bobby himself. Y'all be sure and listen to this episode of God's Country with Bobby Bones on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Don't go shopping to Target. What can you bet? Santa red shirt on. Don't go shopping to Target.

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Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this Boomstock stuff is I think embarrassing to the SEC. Amanda Moll, who writes our Business Week buying power column. Very few companies who go viral are like totally prepared for what that means. And Zoe Tillman, senior legal reporter. Courts are not supposed to decide elections. Courts are not really supposed to play a big role in choosing our elected leaders.

That's for the voters to decide. play a big role in choosing our elected leaders. That's for the voters to decide. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. Hey, it's Mike and Ian. We're the hosts of How to Do Everything from NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Each week we take your questions

and find someone much smarter than us to answer them. Questions like, how do you survive the Bermuda Triangle? How do you find a date inside the Bermuda Triangle? We can't help you, but we will find someone who can. Listen to the How to Do Everything podcast on iHeartRadio. So Letty and Jess say, hi Chelsea and Catherine. My partner and I were listening to your podcasts

during our drive home from Yosemite, and I had to reach out about our current drive home from Yosemite and I had to reach out about our current issue. We were wondering if you could support us with a couples therapy session. And by the way, for any other couples that want to write in, we absolutely can. I love couple sessions. So yeah, if you have a problem with your friend or boyfriend or girlfriend or non-binary friend, you can call in.

Great. I'm a 34 yearold marriage and family therapist, one that clearly doesn't always take the advice I give. My partner, Letty, is currently in school to become a nurse. The issue we're facing right now is Letty loves spending time with my mom. They are practically best friends. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a good thing,

but like most lesbians, I've got mommy issues and so does she quite frankly. My mom now communicates with me through her, comes over to our home when I'm not there to see Leti, and quote unquote accidentally crops me out of photos when she zooms in on the two of them. What? I know I have to get over it at some point,

but right now it's just the current thorn in our relationship, Jess. Oh my god. Hi Jess. Hi girls. Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you? Oh my god. That's so funny. What a fun problem. I mean, it's a good problem to have especially with, you know, the world we're in these days. That's right. That's exactly right. Yeah. That's exactly how you should be looking at this situation. Yeah. But the zooming, the cropping out of the photo. Every time, every time I go on Facebook and it's like, oh, my mom tagged me and I go on and there's like this part of my ear and then the rest of my family with Letty and my mom like zoomed in. Letty, do you love your relationship with her mom?

Obsessed. You are? Yeah. I really am so obsessed. And what's your relationship like with your own mom? So my relationship with my mom, we were always incredibly close. I lost her unfortunately in 2022. So now I feel like that's a big reason why I like attach myself so much to Jessie's mom because they are super, they're very much alike.

Yeah, this is like a Disney movie, you guys. Everything that's happening here is a Disney movie. I mean, I'm wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt and I have my Mickey Mouse necklace on. Okay, well then. Yay! I mean, it works. I mean, does it really bother you? No, I mean, it's a good problem to have.

I think for a really long time coming out, it was like touch and go with how accepted I really felt. And then when I met Letty, I was like, oh, she really loves her. It's a great problem to have. There needs to be some boundaries probably. But you know, maybe I'm a little jealous probably. Well, no, I think there could be like a little bit of a boundary, but have you spoken to your mom about this in a serious way at all or no?

Not in a serious way. I think I poked fun at it because that's my way of coping. Yeah. But I probably should say something. Well, I mean, I think this is you saying something. So I think we're just, we're we're just gonna I think there should be a light boundary. But obviously, these are all great problems to have. Your mother is accepting and loving. She doesn't have her mother anymore. Like everyone's, for lack of a better term,

everyone's hole is being filled. Right? I mean, I met as long as that's happening. That's a good problem. I was gonna say cup and then I just went straight to hole and I figured why not just run with that, you know? No, but I think that you guys, Letty and Jess's mom, you should be a little bit more compassionate or not- Inclusive maybe? A, inclusive. It's great that you want to spend time together.

But yes, don't forget about the person that you're the reason you're both here, like meeting each other. You're right. You're right, you're right. And I will also mention that like, Jessie's mom's best friend is also my best friend. So it extends beyond just my relationship with her mom too. And you're right, but you should be a little bit more inclusive.

Just inclusive, just be considerate of the fact that she feels a little like it's an odd situation and it's beautiful, but you know, just be a little considerate of her feelings and make sure, and especially the zooming in out of the pictures, I think you should just be like, listen bitch, I'm your fucking daughter, okay? When you zoom out from my photo to include hers,

what kind of signal do you think that sends to my brain? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, and she claims it was a mistake, which it might have been. Yeah, because her priority is on you, though, because she's trying to get that photo of you. This is a honeymoon period that you're experiencing. Don't expect it to last forever. So treat it like a relationship that

needs some sort of boundary, because you know. Totally. Yeah. I do think it's funny when parents who maybe are not as accepting in the beginning of having a kid that's come out, it's like down the road, a lot of them realize when their kid brings home someone wonderful, they're like, oh, wait, this is what this actually looks like. Like a loving, fun relationship with a new great person that I get to know. And then they get totally on board.

Yeah, I think that's how it was for me. I brought a couple exes home in my lifetime and it just never landed. And I thought it was more about her acceptance of me until she met Leti and then it all changed. How did you two meet? Through friends. I lived in San Francisco for like five years and we just met through mutual friends

and then I brought her down here. Yeah. That's great. Gay people are always asking me how to meet people. So I'm just always trying to think of new ideas, but luckily, I mean, you guys don't seem to have one. San Francisco's not the most original. There was gonna be some, no, meeting through friends.

I had to move up there though. There's not that many in Thousand Oaks. So I had to get away for a while. Yeah, exactly. That's what we had a caller call in last week and she was saying the same thing. She lives in this kind of small mountain town and she just realized she's out. She wants to be gay and she wants to live her life.

And she's like, I'm not in the right place to meet enough people and have fun. And she's in her 20s. So I get it. I get moving. And good for you for doing that. You know, sometimes you do have to relocate to find what you're looking for. Yeah. You went fishing and then you came back. I sure did in the bay. I caught one. And now your mother is feasting on your fish. Okay.

And on that note. Love you. Okay. Thanks girls for calling in. You girls are adorable. Love it. Thank you. Bye.

Bye. Oh, how cute were they? Real cute. Real cute. Bye. Bye. Bye. How cute were they? Real cute. Real cute. Yeah. So yeah, I think we should encourage people also to write in. So for anybody who wants to write in, go ahead and write in at dearchelseapodcast.gmail.com.

Don't write into dearchelsea.gmail.com because that is someone else's email address and unfortunately she gets some more emails sometimes. DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com and write couples counseling in the subject line. Yeah, and Shabbat Shalom to that. Amen. Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilburger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter. Listen to My Legacy on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is My Legacy. I'm so sick of hearing men talk about women's basketball. This is Lexi Brown. And Mariah Rose. And we've got a new podcast, Full Circle. Every Wednesday, we're catching you up on what's going on in women's basketball. We've got you with analysis,

inside stories, and a little bit of tea. Full Circle is an i on in women's basketball. We've got you with analysis, insight stories, and a little bit of tea. Full Circle is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Full Circle on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.

Calling all Yellowstone fans. Let's go to work. Join Bobby Bones on the official Yellowstone podcast for exclusive cast interviews, behind the scenes insights, and a deep dive into the themes that have made Yellowstone a cultural phenomenon. Our family legacy is this ranch. An architect of my life. Listen to the official Yellowstone podcast now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This week on the R&B Money podcast, Tank and Jay Valentine sit down with the one and only Snoop Dogg. I wanted to be here personally to come give y'all your flowers and let y'all know y'all doing an amazing job. Yes, sir. I love the outlet.

I love how y'all treat the artists that come on here. I love how y'all flowers and let y'all know y'all doing an amazing job. Yes, sir. I love the outlet. I love how y'all treat the artists that come on here. I love how y'all speak to the realization of R&B music and R&B money. Snoop Dogg on R&B money. Listen to this episode on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.