Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Zoomies on top of Zoomies with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

Chelsea and Catherine tackle a paternity fake-out, ayahuasca best-bets, and whether you should get a baby or a dog.   * Order a signed copy of Chelsea’s new book HERE! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, Catherine. Oh, hello, Chelsea. How are you? Chelsea Joy Handler speaking. Chelsea Joy Handler and you're all, you're just out there spreading joy. It actually wasn't for like a while that I realized, oh, you always talk about like spreading joy and I'm like, oh, that's also her middle name. It's like, it's right there. It's just right there. Well, I'm trying to spread joy. I don't know if I'm always spreading joy. Sometimes I'm spreading other things. Well, I'm trying to spread joy. I don't know if I'm always spreading joy. Sometimes I'm spreading other things. Mm-hmm. Well, I have an update from a caller. This was a gal who, her name is Miley, she wrote in,

and she was doing like a surrogacy journey, if you remember that language, for her friend. This was from an episode with Lisa Tadeo. She was unsure about telling her new beau she was pregnant with her friend's baby, and she was the surrogate. So she says, Aloha, Catherine. Well, about six dates in he continued to push meeting my daughter. I told him I was uninterested unless he was serious about us, which he assured me he was. He made us dinner and was so sweet to her. After she went to bed, he kept asking whether or not I would have any more children.

I entertained that reality for about 25 seconds until I came to my senses and said it was a hard no. The truth is, I have already done all the hard parts and my daughter is legit fun and enjoyable to hang out with. I also sleep 10 hours a night and she makes her own breakfast. Why on earth would I star out over with a baby? We went on another date and he said he would have a hard time not having children of his own.

I told him I just know too much about what having a child entails and that the only people that want kids at this point are people who don't have them yet. We've always respected each other's desires for our lives so we left it at that. I did, however, have to post a first ultrasound pic of the surrogate baby, after which he called freaking out thinking it was his lol. I know I'm a monster. I'm now almost six months pregnant with my friend's daughter, saving enough to move back to Hawaii and my land and enjoying my life without a baby in tow. Well, not mine at least. Hope you're both thriving. Aloha, Miley. Well, good for her. People who are surrogates are,

that is just an amazing thing to do for another person. Truly. Get pregnant and then give the baby away to someone else? And carry it for nine months? And all the health risks that go with that and everything? Oh my gosh. Have you been watching The Pit? I have. I've seen a bunch of episodes of that.

Yeah. There's like a storyline where that's happening and this gal's like being a surrogate for, I mean, it's a lot of risk to carry to be a surrogate for somebody, but great if that's your story. So we'll just do a couple of quickie questions today. So our first question today comes from Derek. He says, I would like to start weed, preferably edibles,

but I need to start at the lowest form. Any suggestions, Derek? Yeah, I just get something that's 2.5 milligrams of THC. That is the lowest entry point. And then you can get a package of gummies that are 2.5. You can even, they probably even have one milligram, but I know they have 2.5. And that's the lowest.

So you get that, you take one, and then you see how that hits you. And you might not even feel it have 2.5 and that's the lowest. That's the lowest. So you get that, you take one and then you see how that hits you. And you might not even feel it, you know, at two and a half. You might want another one and then that's five. So just, you have to like titrate, find out what your dosage is by experimentation. Yeah, I know they make two and a half milligram mints. I've tried those, those are pretty good.

I am in the same boat where I'm like, I like the tiniest little amount ever almost where like I'm not even really feeling it. It's just like a little twinkle. And so what I do when I really like that never makes me nervous is like the Camino chill gummies like that specific. Yeah, Camino's are good. Those are that's a good brand. And they're chill ones. I literally they're five milligrams. I will literally cut them either in half or in quarters. Like if I don't want to like really feel much But I just want to relax a little bit So definitely suggest that you don't have to take a whole one just like bite it in half or quarters or what and then have

A swallow in a hard-boiled egg hole. That's what you do with that to chase it to chase it Yeah, always my advice always my advice Okay, so our next question comes from Andy Okay, so our next question comes from Andy. Longtime fan here, love the podcast. I hope to one day have a personal problem juicy enough to write in and talk to you about. But now I actually have a more random question. Where exactly in Peru did you do ayahuasca?

I'm going there this summer and want to try it and it looks like you had a pretty good experience. The last thing I want to do is end up in some rundown hut in the middle of nowhere tripping with a bunch of Anacondas. Andy. That's what I was doing. I was in the middle of fucking nowhere.

I don't know what that place was called. Iquitos. Iquitos was the town we flew to from Peru. We flew into, what's the big Lima, Lima. Lima. Flew into Lima and then we went to Iquitos. I wouldn't recommend the shaman that I used for my Ayahuasca journey, just so you know. I would do some research.

I mean, there's so many shamans in Peru and you go and you have a really authentic experience, but part of that authenticity is being in the fucking woods and who knows what's out there. You're in a jungle. you know what I mean? Like you're in a rainforest. So you're gonna be around anacondas. I didn't see any when I was there, but there's all sorts of lodges up and down.

There's tributaries all off the Amazon and all of them are offering different packages. So like you, I would just look it up. I wouldn't go to Iquitos. I mean, Iquitos is a place you can go, but I wouldn't, I don't even know the name of the lodge that I went to, I'd have to look that up, but I wouldn't go to Iquitos. I mean, Iquitos is a place you can go, but I wouldn't, I don't even know the name of the lodge that I went to, I'd have to look that up, but I wouldn't recommend that. I would find a group ceremony where you're gonna be

with other tourists that are also doing that. Yeah, and for people who are like considering it as well, everyone I know who's done it and hasn't gone to Peru is like, yeah, I had kind of like a not great experience or it wasn't like the full deal. So, you know, don't do it in LA, maybe or New York or whatever. Just like go where you're supposed to go. Yeah. Yeah. Well, our last question comes from Sophia. So Sophia says, Dear Chelsea, I live in Denmark.

I've been married for two years together for, and my wife and I are now in the fertility process. We've been trying for a few months now. She's doing the IUI. It's been unsuccessful so far, and this is our fifth attempt, and the next one will be IVF. What I want advice on is getting another dog. A little background on us, I'm obsessed with dogs, and when I met my wife, we each had

our own dog. I had Leeloo, a long-haired Shar-Pei, and we had an incredibly special bond. She passed away some months ago. Her absence has changed me in a way. Literally the same week she passed away, we had our first appointment at the fertility clinic, so we had a really rocky start to the whole process. Now we only have one dog, originally my wife's dog, Frida, a small Maltese. She's a great dog, and I love her, but she's always going to be my wife's dog, Frida, a small Maltese. She's a great dog and I love her, but she's always going to be my wife's dog. I really want to have another dog. I crave it, but my wife is so happy with how things are now,

focusing on the coming pregnancy. I know that dealing with just one dog is way easier, and I guess she's just not into raising a puppy at this time. But if not now, it probably won't be for a year or two, what with the baby and all. I know that logically now is probably not the best time, but for some reason I don't care or this need is just bigger.

How can I convince my wife? Or do you think I should just put aside my needs and wait? Thanks so much for your amazing podcast, Sophia. I mean, I would just get a fucking dog. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, listen, you can't really get a dog unless your partner agrees to it, but I totally get it.

I mean, dogs just make the house more fun. Everything's better with dogs. So I don't it. I mean, dogs just make the house more fun. Everything's better with dogs. So I don't know. I don't have an answer. I don't know. It depends. No, I think that's a good answer. And I agree.

I think like, especially when you've had like a big, meaty Shar-Pei, like a Maltese is cute, but it's not like the kind of dog maybe she connects with. And I will also say, even if your wife is pregnant tomorrow, you have nine months. I will also say, maybe it's not time for a puppy. Maybe you just like skip the potty training portion, like get a dog that's six months

or a year old and like is already trained. Even if you're getting a dog that's like a couple of years old, it's great because then they've got a little life under them. They like to nap a little bit more. I know. I don't know if I'm ever going to do puppy stage again. It really took it out of me when we did puppy stage with our twin puppies that we have right now. There was six months that once it was done,

just from all the potty training, all the training, and all the like little puppy stuff that you have to do, I was like, I, that was maybe a bad mental health, six months. So maybe not a puppy, but if you get a bigger dog, then you're like ready to roll right into motherhood. Yeah, like Doug, I got Doug and he was nine months old. He's a fucking hot mess though.

But he's a beautiful hot mess. Doug is such a, you should have seen him in the woods yesterday, running through the woods. He got the zoomies inside of the zoomies. He had the zoomies and then he got a double whammy zoomie. So he didn't know which way to turn. He was flying through the woods like a giant running squirrel. Like he was airborne.

I'm like, he's going to impale himself. Anyway, I would always just add to the collection of dogs, but you know, you do have to get your wife's approval. So get a low maintenance dog that's already trained and like your wife will get on board. It'll be fine. There you go. All right. Well, that's all we've got for today.

Okay. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you later. Bye, go. All right. Well, that's all we've got for today. Okay. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you later. Bye, Catherine. Bye. Drum roll, Catherine, please. And abroad, broad is my European tour.

So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get the hell out of this fucking country. And it's not as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Reykjavik, I'm coming to the UK, I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast, in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona,

Lisbon. I'm coming. Abroad is abroad. That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad. I know. I want to go see me abroad and there I'll be. There I'll be.

Excellent. Okay. My remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th. It will be the next date that I'm there. July 5th, August 30th, and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th. I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason.

Okay? Thank you. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.