Dear Chelsea - Not Wearing Pants with Michael Rapaport

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Michael Rapaport joins Chelsea this week to discuss Kanye West, getting better at relationships with age, and marrying the one that got away.  Then: A liberal mom wonders if she needs to ditch her problematic f-buddy.  A comedian lacking confidence struggles to prepare for their next big show.  And a 30-something is caught between two men - who both happen to be in love with her. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? I'm well. How's your new abode? Oh, my goodness. Katherine and Brad moved into a new house, you guys.

We did. We bought a house. You guys heard about it here when we had put in an offer on the house. But it's going great. There's so many projects, but we're really enjoying doing the projects. Well, isn't that just a happy homemaking story? What a success story. And you sent me a beautiful picture of the sunset from your house the other night that I was blown away by. Yes.

It's gorgeous out there because we're right at the base of the mountains. And so every night the sunset lights them up all orange and salmon. And then we just had this incredible from pinks to oranges to purples. It was just it was just gorgeous. Well, that's great. And I mean, there's also a red blood moon coming tonight. Yes. We are recording this on Tuesday, November 8th, which is Election Day to air on Thursday, November 10th, where we will know the results unless there are 50,000 lawsuits still happening at that time, which is a possibility. Yes. But there's a blood red moon. Hopefully it's not like a portent of doom. It is. I after I spoke to that astrologist, Jade Luna, who's on Instagram as Jade Saluna. I did my annual forecast with him actually last night when I got back. I did. I had some shows this weekend and I did another forecast with him actually last night when I got back. I had some shows this weekend

and I did another reading with him and he was explaining to me how all the planets, whether they're in your sign or not, can dictate what's happening. And I believe that. And he said, if Donald Trump is able to run in 2024, Jupiter is through his sign, is moving through his sign that year, which is almost unstoppable, which means he will have so much good career fortune that he will be unbeatable if he runs in 2024. So hopefully he'll be arrested or put down before then. I mean, yes, I have some shows coming up this weekend. Rockford, Illinois. My sister-in-law is going to. Oh, her friends. Oh, fun. Her friend Julie, who loves this podcast. Friday, November 11th, I'm in Rockford, Illinois.

Saturday night, I'm in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And then Sunday night, I am in Rosemont, Illinois. Amazing. And then Thursday, the following Thursday, I have two shows in Tampa, Florida at the Hard Rock Casino. So what else was I going to say? Oh, yes, I got very intoxicated this weekend. And it was really hard to shake it. Where were you partying? Tucson, surprisingly. Oh, yes. We unexpectedly went out after the Tucson show. We all got very actually

no, I think I was the one who got the most intoxicated. And then we got up. I went to the gym in the morning because I like to do the gym no matter what happens. But I quickly turned around and realized that I had no business being inside the gym because I just did not feel right. Some people can like they swear by sweating out your hangover. That was my intention. Oh, man. I can't do it. No. I did about 15 minutes of an abs class and then I gave up.

My exercise with a hangover is like going to the bathroom and throwing up and then going back to bed. That's all I can do. Yeah. So so anyway, I finally recovered, but it took a minute. Good. Yeah. We went to a lot of Republican areas this weekend, Colorado Springs and Tucson, and they were both awesome shows. So it's just nice to have my people everywhere I go. Yeah. I mean, Phoenix and Tucson, like those areas, they're such like fun foodie towns, actually. And they've got cute places to go out. It's kind of lovely. Well, the airport in Tucson is a little bit like a correctional facility. There's no one there. And the people who are working there look like armed guards and are

like and there may as well be cages in the airport because that's how it feels. My security guy was like, you stay in the car'll be check you into the flight and I was like okay and usually that's like five or ten minutes and then it was 30 minutes I texted my assistant I was like hey what's up and she's like you do not want to see what's going on in here she's like there's a woman there's one woman working the ticket counter for the entire airline and she's never never done this before. Clearly. I was like, oh, I don't want to see that. Thank God you got to wait in the car. Oh, yes. Of course.

Of course. What else could I possibly do? I just read a good book, if anyone's looking for a good book. I am. Called Signal Fires. Did this just come out? Yeah. Or is this okay?

I just finished that over the weekend and then I gave it right away to a friend whose birthday it was. Yeah, that was a really good book. So I'm glad to read that. It's about life. It's about all these different characters living on the street and like different times in their lives. And it just kind of connects everybody. And it's a lot about the stars and the galaxy and how everybody's connected and how, you

know, life is like how time is a continuum. And it's cool. It was like I was open to that. You know, I'm much more open to all of that stuff now. So when I read it, I like it. It was like, I was open to that. You know, I'm much more open to all of that stuff now. So when I read it, I like it. I feel like they're speaking to me. Yeah, it's, it's fun. And we've got actually some very fun sort of woo-woo guests coming. Coming up. Oh yeah, we do. We've booked a lot of fun guests like that. Yeah. I think recently sort of found out that a lot of listeners to the show are into that stuff, which we are too.

So it works out. Yeah, we have Laura Lynn Jackson coming on the show, who's one of my favorites. Yes. And then Tyler Henry, the medium. Yeah, we're going to book him. I do have to say I'm a little bit of a skeptic of his stuff in particular because I'm like, can't you Google that? But I don't know. Everybody gets really blown away.

Well, maybe we can just have callers call in and then he has no prior knowledge of them. I love't know. Everybody gets really blown away. Well, maybe we can just have callers call in and then he has no prior knowledge of them. I love that. Because he can't do me or you because that's easily researchable. Right. OK. I like this. I kind of want him to prove himself to me. I want to believe. I want to believe. Yeah, I want to believe, too. Yeah. I like to believe in that stuff because it just makes everything more tolerable. And it's more fun. Especially when people die. It's like there's nothing comforting you could say to anybody once somebody's dead except for the fact that they're not really gone and that they're always around you and nobody's energy will ever really die. I fully believe that, but it's also proven by quantum physics, I'm pretty sure.

Yes, it is. Whatever that is. Where did your other thermos go? Your one that you haven't been able to let go since Mallorca. I have to tell you, I... Lost it? I went to Disneyland. Oh, God.

Well, that was the first fucking mistake, Catherine. With your hard-boiled eggs. Did you take your hard-boiled eggs to Disneyland? I didn't, but I did have a smoothie in the car. But listen, I was like, they're going to have Christmas stuff up. I'm not into it yet. Halloween just happened. I went ham on all

of the Christmas merch. I currently have a Mickey tumbler for my coffee. He is dressed in a Santa hat. Oh, I just, I bought it all. Catherine and I couldn't be more different. Did Brad take you to Disneyland? No, I go with one of my girlfriends. We do a podcast called Driving to Disneyland. Okay. Brad, are you there? Are you on board with this or what? Brad? Men aren't allowed to talk on this podcast.

We've muted him. Never mind. Well, we do have a man. We have a straight man, you guys, as our guest today on the podcast. We do. Is that the first time? No. Mike Birbiglia.

We've had some straight men. Yeah. Justin Long. Oh, yeah. Justin. I love him. I ran into him and his girlfriend at Cape Osworth at the airport. They're so cute.

I love watching people in young love. Yeah. Yeah. They seem so happy. I know. Yeah. Everyone's happy in the beginning. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Our guest today, you're going to love him. Well, you know him because he's one hot mess and I respect it. Our next guest has the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. He's on tour doing live shows. All tickets and dates are at michaelrappaportcomedy.com. That's R-A-P-A-P-O-R-T. Please welcome the very disruptive Michael Rappaport.

Hi, Michael. Yo. Hello. What's up, homeskillet? How are you? Better now that Adidas dropped Kanye. You look dashing as always, Michael. This is my co-host, Catherine.

Hi. How you doing, Catherine? I'm good. I'm good. Michael, tell me, the morning that we're recording this is the morning I woke up and saw that Adidas finally dropped Kanye West. What do you think took Adidas two saw that Adidas finally dropped Kanye West. What do you think took Adidas two and a half weeks to drop Kanye West?

I mean, as far as Adidas dropping Kanye West, I'm sure it's business. You know, I'm sure it's business. I'm sure he's deep in that company. Yeah, because him calling them out and saying there's no way that they can fire me, there's no way they can fire me, almost led me to believe that he had some stipulation in his contract that like allowed for either freedom of speech or something about, you know, being able to voice his opinions or something because he was so confident. I mean, not that anything he says is that reliable since he's clearly off of his meds. But I was like, does he have something going with Adidas where they're not allowed to fire him for being racist and anti-Semitic? It seemed like that. That seems

like why it took so long to me. But as far as Adidas and all these places severing ties with him, because I've been thinking a lot about it and talking a lot about it. The whole thing is he didn't invent anti-Semitism. But what he did do in the last two weeks with talking on these platforms and these platforms continuing to let him speak, even down to this Lex Friedman fucking guy who put him on a two and a half hour podcast just last night, which I listened to.

And he's Jewish. And he allegedly has family members that were killed in the Holocaust and to sit there and, you know, be belittled and try to sort of massage this guy off his points. And, you know, and then those people at the 405 freeway, that's the ramifications of him talking that way. It's the same thing with Trump. When you sort of embolden these people and you, the thing about Trump that's smarter than Kanye West is that Trump is the king. He has the art of implication,

implicative speaking down to a T. He does it better than anyone I've ever heard. He'll say everything without saying it. That's why he's never in trouble because he'll skirt around it kind of he's just fucking saying all the shit and it's like to the point where trump even said this guy's fucking nuts and he needs help and you know if trump is saying this guy's nuts and you need help you're you're in bad shape but i mean just the whole thing is it's not good, you know, and you have to do soul searching because if you won't accept the anti-Jewish talk, then you have to really be down not to accept it across the board.

It can't be you pick and choose the people that you're going to stand by and defend or stand up for. I don't know. It's been an interesting time because you never would have thought Kanye West would have been sort of the spokesperson for anti-Semitism 2022. It's just a sort of a far like a far out thing. It's going to be one of those things when you look back at the year 2022. This will be like a highlighted part. 20 years to be like, oh, shit. Remember when Kanye West was saying the wildest shit that I've ever heard about Jewish people publicly from a successful person. Like he's saying everything, but you know, then you think like, will he be back? Will he, is there coming back from him? Because Mel Gibson is, is, I don't think Mel Gibson ever

publicly apologized. I don't know if he did. I think he wrote, wrote a statement, but I don't know for sure if he ever publicly apologized for his stuff. And, you know, I'm sure his excuse would be, he was on drugs or he was drinking and, and,. And, you know, Kanye probably said this, he was in a mental breakdown and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And whether you accept those apologies is up to each individual, I guess. So what was the podcast, the Friedman podcast? What kind of conversation? I mean, how did that go? Well, the Friedman podcast, he's an engineer. He's one of these smart guys. He's got a popular podcast. You know, he's one of these sort of Joe Rogan has had him on. He's one of these guys and they're friends and he's Jewish. And he was trying to sort of explain to him why he was doing a fair job. Why saying the Jewish media and why saying these broad stroke statements are not right? They're not good. They're not acceptable. Why don't you just name names? You'd get more done if you just say Jim, Alex, Frank and Tommy are these people from these companies have fucked me over.

And this manager has fucked me over. Like instead of making these broad sweeping shows and he was trying to do that the thing that frustrated me is that it was going nowhere to the point where he convinced him you shouldn't say jewish media and then kanye west was like okay i'll just say jm and that's where you go suck my dick the interview's over get the fuck off my show as far as i'm concerned as far as i'm concerned because we're handling this guy with kick gloves because he makes good songs and he makes good sneakers and inevitably you should just be told just like everybody else to suck my dick interviews over that's it that's how he needs to be treated but because he's famous I think people are like tiptoeing around it this guy seemed like he was tiptoeing around it yeah I mean even to give him a platform at this point just seems stupid

like it's not like he's going to be convinced you're not dealing with a rational person. You're dealing with like a terrorist. You know what I mean? And if it's a, if that's your friend, take them to dinner. If you, if you care about him, take them to dinner and don't film me. Like, you know, like if you want to explain to him your point of view, and that really is your friend, go have a private dinner somewhere, take them to get a lobotomy, do something. You just can't rationalize with someone who's in their mental illness, choosing to not get treatment, totally not rational, and having a manic episode. Well, we don't know.

You know, this idea of in their mental illness, having a manic episode, I haven't seen his paperwork. Have you? I haven't seen his diagnosis. Of course. He's said he has bipolar disorder but we don't really know it's not an excuse it's it's when i'm not on my lexapro when i when i'm not hopped up on my 20 milligrams of my lexapro i was just about to ask what kind of medication you're

on i'm just on 20 mg's of a little lexapro that's all i'm not it's a little mood stabilizer it just keeps me you know keeps me right in the pocket steady yeah i had to learn what that mean that phrase meant and keep you in the pocket somebody said that they were like oh you were so in the pocket i go what does that mean i didn't even know what that phrase was you did it no i don't know how i missed that one it's a pretty big one is it a music it's a music well i think it's from a music thing but you you say it probably as a would somebody say to you in regard to a performance? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It means like, yeah, you're in the pocket. You're in the sweet. Oh, OK. Copy that. You're in the flow. Michael,

tell me about what you think your best qualities are. What I think my best qualities are. Yeah. I think that probably one of my best qualities is I have a dog-like instinct to sniff out bullshit. I think I'm generous. I think that I am... Babe, my wife is over here telling me... You are. You're the most authentic person in this. Yeah, for better or for worse, I think I'm authentic. I think generally speaking, I think I'm authentic. Wait, can you bring your wife over? I want to say hi. Babe, they want to say hi to you on the podcast.

Come say hi. Hold on. Hey, how are you? Hi, Chelsea. I was sitting front row when you did Busy's podcast, and I just wanted to be like, I fucking love you. Not her podcast, her show. I mean her show, that Busy Tonight show.

Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. When I said he's authentic, I didn't mean in that newfangled hippy-dippy, like, I'm authentic. I mean, truly, he is one of the most, what you see is really what you get. And truly, for better or for worse. For better or for worse. For real, for real.

She can tell you. He is not we i've known him for 30 years he is not there's no phony baloney bullshit he does not he gives zero fucks he is who he is he doesn't change he's he is totally generous he is authentic and you know what lexa pro is not a mood stabilizer it's an antidepressant is it an antidepressant? Bye. Isn't that what I'm on? That's how she deals with you every day. She's like, listen, this is what actually happens.

She has to deal with every day. I know. I can't even imagine. She must be cool as fuck. Yeah. She's cool and patient. And, you know, we have known each other for such a long time. So there is a good understanding of each other. And we've grown known each other for such a long time so there is a a good um understanding of each other and we've grown we've grown to eat with each other yeah yeah well you've been have you been dating for 30 years or you've just known each other for three

years no no no no well we dated shit hell no we dated when we were young we met when we were young 21 years old and we dated for about four or five years. And then we went our separate ways. And then I wound up getting married. I had two kids, got divorced. And then 12 years ago, we got back together again. And we got married five years ago, I think. Oh, wow. That's a love story. It's a good love story. It's a good love story. I mean, we know each other very well. Yeah. Yeah. She must bring out the best in you. Do you think that's true? She definitely brings out the best in me.

She pushes me to be the best I can be. Hopefully I push her to be the best I could be. You know, she's a good, you know, I need boundaries. So she's good at keeping boundaries, but also letting me be myself. And I think I do the same thing for her. You know, I think we support each other and are patient with each other and continue to get to know each other. You know, sometimes I say that to her and she's like, what do you mean? I say like, our relationship is continued to evolve. I think once you, if you stop evolving in a relationship, whether it's a

boy, girl, romantic relationship or boy, boy, or girl, girl, romantic, really, I don't want to get fucking canceled here. Any sort of romantic relationship or even boy or girl girl romantic. I don't want to get fucking canceled here. Any sort of romantic relationship or even just a relationship with, you know, with your parents or relationship with friends. Relationships need to evolve. They need to evolve. And when they don't, I think you could get into a slippery slope. Yeah, well, that's a very important thing for men to understand, actually. You know, there is an evolution. And also, it's important to grow as a person to not remain fixed in your line of thinking or your opinions or your viewpoints, because every phase of our lives or personality traits, it's not a state of being, it's a state of mind. And your states of mind can change over time. And when you learn new things,

I agree. Yeah. And I find that to be a very recurring theme with a lot of guys. I guess guys are different now, you know, there's and definitely younger guys are more open to understanding that things are not fixed. Like you don't have just a personality trait. And like, that's just the way I am. Right. There should be a desire to grow and move. I agree. And improve. You know, if you're a jealous person, you should know that that's not, you don't have to be that way. You don't have to live your life like that way. If you're, if you have no self-esteem or if you're insecure, that's also a state of mind, not a state of being. I agree. And for me, age, you know, I'm 52 now, relationships,

not just romantic, whether it be business, whether it be on set relationships or personal relationships, or even relationships with my family, athletes talk about the game slowing down. And that's when they get to get into the pocket easier where the game slows down. For me, relationships in life have slowed down a little bit so I could see things better and not just react because I'm a very reactive person, as you could imagine. Yeah. I used to be really reactive as well. And then I went to therapy and realized I don't have to live like that. And it's a load off my shoulders because it's like, oh, I don't need to react to everything. I agree. I agree. And there's a real power in feeling when you don't react. There's a real power to it, to going, okay,

I didn't react to that or not inserting yourself where it's know, there's a real power to it, to going, okay, I didn't react to that or not inserting yourself where it's unnecessary. It's a great hump to have gotten past. And anytime I am reactive, I catch myself. I'm like, wait a second, you're not even thinking about what you're saying right now. Do you want to say it? I'm like, oh, no, no, no.

So just the awareness of it is even, you know, like it's a whole thing of like a new way of thinking. So I appreciate that a lot. All right, so we take callers, people call in of thinking. So I appreciate that a lot. All right. So we take callers. People call in for advice. So then you have to tell them what. Yeah.

And you're going to give them a live call. Some of them are. Some are letters and some are live on Zoom. So get ready. All right. I'm ready. OK, we're going to take a quick break. And then, Michael, I need you to put your pants back on.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. you to put your pants back on. Drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too?

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Great. Oh, because I actually don't have on pants. I know. I know. I didn't expect for you to. And actually, did you request that he didn't wear pants? I did. I did.

Okay, we want to bring this look back for men, okay? Yes. It's such a flattering look, a sweater with no pants on. I was like, how the fuck does she know I don't have pants on? You started sitting, you kept sitting. I do have to say, I was excited for you to come on the show, Michael, because when I was talking to Chelsea about like various people that we might have upcoming and your folks had reached out to us and said, you know, how about Michael Rapaport? And Chelsea just started laughing and then continued laughing for like 45 seconds. I was like, I think that's a yes. I love you. It's funny because I never met you, Chelsea.

I've never met you in person. Oh, really? Nope. That's so funny because I was going to say the same thing. But anytime I say that, everyone's like we met three times. So I don't say that anymore. Or they'll be like, I was on your show. No, I didn't realize that anymore or they'll be like I was on your show uh no I didn't realize that we hadn't met it feels like we have never like I've never I've never seen you in real life like I've never seen you perform oh that's weird you guys gotta fix it I know yeah well we'll run into each other at some point I'm sure for sure well our first question is an email and this comes from L hi Chelsea I'm a woman in my early 40s, and unfortunately, I'm sleeping with a Republican. We've been seeing one another for about four plus years.

I know. We don't usually do a lot of political questions, but I felt like, you know, this is kind of a good one. We've been seeing each other for four plus years and love one another. The sex is ridiculously amazing. He's my favorite person and we get along great as long as we don't discuss any sort of social or political issues. We're both divorced and have children so we have zero rush to live together or build a serious future right now since our priorities are our children. I love him but lately our differences

are becoming increasingly apparent and I'm irritated and angry. He's a cop and former Marine. I'm a doctor who works primarily with kids and teens, many of them being transgender or LGBTQ. I've seen firsthand the effects discrimination and marginalization can have on people and how traumatizing it can be, and I care deeply about how others are treated and their emotional well-being. My partner mocks pronoun usage and frankly seems transphobic and homophobic. I'm pretty passionate about equality and give as much as I can to support causes I believe in that make a difference whether through volunteer, work, or donations. I'm from an affluent family. I'm educated and relatively well-off, yet I don't mind having to pay my share in taxes if it means bettering the lives of others who have

less. He had a very different upbringing than I did and has had to pay my share in taxes if it means bettering the lives of others who have less. He had a very different upbringing than I did and has had to work hard to be in the financial position he's in now. He makes $200K a year or so, so he's not exactly underpaid. He gets upset every time a law is passed that provides more social or financial support to others. I won't get into our differences with vaccines and mask use, but I'm pretty sure you can guess where each of us stands on those issues. I was previously able to ignore our differences and just not discuss them. But as someone who has only become increasingly passionate about social justice issues and politics, it's now impossible to bite my tongue. What's more, his social media is a ton of let's go Brandon, anti-vaxxer, yay guns stuff that I find disgusting and immature. He's made all of his accounts private because I got upset over his content and reposting of

some very discriminatory posts and tweets. I've overheard him use terms like stupid vaxxers and libtards to describe people who are, well, just like me. It feels like he has zero respect for the work I do with LGBTQ youth, anyone who isn't a white male, and sadly, me. I'm angry, I'm hurt, but worse, I'm conflicted about staying in this relationship. I know I can't change his views, but I think we may be too different and have too many conflicting values for this to work. Our chemistry and sex life are out of this world hot, but I'm wondering if maybe that's all there is and we're just too different to stay together much longer. I should cause, quite frankly, because he's so aggressive. I mean, it's one thing to be a Republican, but it's another thing to actively be against trans children or be homophobic or throwing around phrases like let's go, Brandon and libtard doesn't invoke any sort of healthy state of mind, in my opinion. And yeah,

sex is great. But guess what? You can fuck a bunch of other people and have great sex also. Like who gives a shit if the sex is great? That is not enough of a reason to stay in a relationship. If it was just like a fly by night, I would say, sure, yeah, keep having sex with him. But clearly you're getting aggravated and the value system is on opposing ends of the spectrum. So there's no point in continuing that

because you're just gonna innervate yourself by even being in the same relationship with him. And yeah, blocking, I mean, not being able to follow him on social media because his posts are so upsetting. Like that's kind of a deal breaker. I mean, it is a value. It's a value issue. Your values are different than his. Michael, what do you think? I agree. I mean, at first I was, you know, at the beginning of the letter, I was going to be like, yeah, you know, but then it just seemed to just, so I, I, I agree with what everything you're saying when you're fun, you fuck the sex, whatever. What are you, I mean, what are you like, there's plenty of people you could have

good sex with. So you got to shut down. What's this lady's name? L just have an initial, I got to shut it down. Okay. Shut it down now, unless it was just like a light thing, but it sounds like it's not a light thing. Cause that'd be kind of kinky. Like, Oh, you know, while you're having sex with him, he's like, you dumb fucking libtard. Let's go Brandon. And that could be like a kinky kind of sexual thing, but it's, this seems like a more interpersonal relationship. So I feel like the relationship, you need to shut it down. You guys are adults. So you need to shut it down. Also, you know, I would love to say,

sure, you could date somebody who's a Republican. I would like that to be true. But in this stage that we're in, it's pretty being a Republican represents restricting women's rights. It represents restricting gay rights, trans rights, any marginalized group like it stands for a lot more than it used to in terms of oppression and and contraction of human rights. So it's not really feasible. I mean, everything is so divisive. I wish it weren't this way, but it is. And like, unfortunately, you're living in a time where Republicans do represent all of those things. If you're voting for a Republican candidate, especially because of your like, what's coming out of your pocketbook. I mean, that's just the lamest excuse ever for voting for anybody at the cost of everyone else's rights. The world is

never going to be white again. OK, so just fucking shut up about it already. It's never going to be like that. There's too much of a population of people who are brown and black. And that is going to be the majority, which is what scares the fuck out of Republicans. But it's like just be loving. Don't you want to live in a loving, nice place where people are friendly and not screaming at each other and yelling about guns? Fuck off. So yeah, leave him.

Okay. I agree. It's one thing to have different political beliefs than someone. Absolutely. It's a different thing to have a varying degree of value on human life. Yeah, this seems too extreme. This is not even political. This is like values and he's blocking you on social media

because he's posting wild shit. That's crazy. These are, how old is L? How old is that for an L? Mid 40s. Yeah, come on L. Yeah, and especially there are kids involved. If you do want a long-term relationship with this guy,

you are eventually going to have him around your kids. So like, is that someone you want instilling their values in your kids? Probably not. No, definitely not. And you know what? Having sex with somebody who values women's rights is going to be a lot hotter than having sex with this guy. Yep.

All right, Al. Solved. You'll be able to tell by the way he touches your hair. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today.

How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really?

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question is a caller. This is Jackie. Dear Chelsea, I'm in love with two different men. And what's worse is they're both in love with me. Oh, I like this story. Yeah. Eventually, I have to break someone's heart. and I can't imagine doing that to anyone. These men are both polar opposites of each other. I relate to them in different areas of life. The chemical connection is insane with each guy. Both of them tell me they're so in love with me and that I'm the love of their lives, and I truly believe both of them.

It's incredible and yet incredibly painful at the same time. I just want you to know while we're reading this, Michael is licking his lips. Well, that's because they're dry. Somebody just popped up on my screen. Yeah, that's the caller. She's going to be on. Way to put two and two together, Michael. I got it. I don't know what the fuck's going on here, Chelsea. Obviously. She says, I don't know how to choose. One guy is my boyfriend of two years, and the other is my ex-boyfriend that has come back into my life. My current boyfriend has been very difficult lately, and my ex-boyfriend has really done the work to figure himself out. The sex is also amazing with both, but a little better with my current boyfriend, and that area of the relationship is very important to me. I need someone who's not afraid to tell me like it is.

Help, Jackie. And I should clarify, who's not afraid to tell me like it is. Help, Jackie. And I should clarify, she's not sleeping with both of them currently. She just remembers the ex from before, right, Jackie? Yes. Okay. Hi, Jackie. Hi. Jackie, you sure you're not sleeping with them both currently now? Not currently. Okay. So you're still in love with your ex-boyfriend and you're in love with your new boyfriend and you're only sleeping with your new boyfriend? Yes. Okay. I was hoping that you were sleeping with both of them at the same time, just because I love drama. You know what I mean? I mean, yeah, that would be nice, but no, that's not my thing. Okay. Well, that's nice of you not to do that. Cause that's yeah. Cheating isn't nice. Yeah. That's what I

thought. So how long were you with your ex-boyfriend? Not that long Cause that's yeah. Cheating isn't nice. Yeah. So how long were you with your ex-boyfriend? Not that long, like six months. And then you guys broke up because why? Well, I was divorced for about a year when I met him and he was my first boyfriend since a divorce. And so I was kind of crazy. And so he ended it. Uh-huh. And so when you say he came back now that he's done the work, what does that mean? Oh, he went to therapy. He did a lot of work on himself. He's very like emotionally available and everything like that. So yeah. The ex-boyfriend is? Yes. How do you know that now? Because you're in a relationship with the new boyfriend. Like he might be presenting himself that way,

but you can only really tell from being in the trenches with somebody. Yeah, I understand that. But I've known him for a long time and I know his family. They all surround me in this neighborhood that I live in. So I'm surrounded by his entire family. So they are like well known to me. Uh huh. So how long have you guys been broken up? Three years. And how long have you been with the new guy? Two and a half. Okay. And so your ex boyfriend is actively trying to get you back? Yes. Huh? Interesting. Yeah, that is juicy.

100%. They both tell me the same thing like all the time. And does your current boyfriend know that your ex-boyfriend is trying to get you back? Hell no. Okay. Okay. This is juicy. It is crazy. I feel like it's a very embarrassing problem. Why? Because it sounds like a soap opera and that is so not my life. Yeah, but some people have this stuff going on. That's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's cute. You have two guys that love you and you have to choose.

It's horrible. It's agony. Do you feel like you're in love with both of them? Yes, absolutely. You're having an emotional affair with your ex-boyfriend while you're with your boyfriend. Sort of. Yes. So are you going out and like seeing the ex?

Have you guys been in contact in person and letters? Like what's the vibe there? Well, it's crazy because he has a ton of siblings and they all have children. And so we see each other like sports games and stuff like that. And like we, you know, we do we see each other. So it's kind of Is there lingering hugs and shit like that? No, nothing like that. But he's just more emotionally available than like my current boyfriend. So like the lacking and my current boyfriend is not helping anything. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Absolutely. And that's I'm very self-aware. Like I'm not going to go move to an ex-boyfriend just because of the lacking in my current boyfriend. That's not going to happen. So what do you like about your current boyfriend? Tell us all the good things about him. I mean, he's pretty amazing. They're polar opposites. My current boyfriend is like type A. He played rugby in college. He's a business guy. He's very like active. He did half Ironmans, like all that type of stuff. And he's very, very fun. We have the best time together doing absolutely nothing, which is the best. But my ex-boyfriend was, we had fun doing nothing as well. He's just more relaxed, easygoing,

things like that. So. I don't know. I'm kind of leaning towards your ex-boyfriend. I like a story like that, like where you break up and then the person goes and takes care of their shit and then they come back. I find that to be very romantic. But I can't really decide for you who you like more. I mean, that is a tough situation to be in. You have to sit and like literally meditate on it and close your eyes and figure out what the feeling that comes to you is.

Yeah. Well, right. And not only that, but I'm very aware that it could be no one I could end up with either of them. Like none of them could work out. So I don't know. It's very hard to tell like what outweighs what, you know what I mean? Yeah. So what are the conversations around him pursuing you while you're in a relationship? Are you allowing that to keep going? Or did you say, hey, like this is disrespectful to a degree? Because if your current boyfriend found that out, he'd be fucking pissed. Oh, yeah. If he was doing that to me, I'd be fucking pissed.

So, yeah, I completely understand when I put that in perspective. But I hate to hurt anyone's feelings. And that's the biggest problem I have. Whatever I choose, someone is going to be heartbroken. And I don't want to do that to either of them. Yeah. But if your ex-boyfriend is heartbroken, like that's not your responsibility, his heartbreak, right? You're not with him. So, and you guys have been broken up for a period of time and you're in another relationship. Yeah. And he broke up with me first. So that's his fault. Right.

Yeah. What are some of the, you said there's some complications with your current boyfriend. What's going on there? The time limit that we have together is not enough for me. We've been together for two and a half years. So, I mean, I would like to move in together soon. He says that we will. I know he wants to get married, but it's just not moving quick enough for me. And we live a half hour apart

and he doesn't really come here that often. I usually go there a lot. So that's a problem. Just the availability. Okay. Well, wait, you just said something that leads me to believe that you say you want to move in with him. And the only reason you're hesitant about that is, or he seems to be putting it off for whatever reason or not doing it in your timeline. But that is, that implies that you want to be with him, that you want to spend the rest of your life with him if you want to move in with him. So I feel like the other guy's irrelevant in that situation. If those circumstances changed, right? Well, I just feel like, you know, if my current boyfriend wanted to be with me really bad, he would show me the effort and like moving forward.

And that's not happening. So it's like if you wanted to be with me, I would know. You know what I mean? Can you ask him for like a more concrete timeline? I have. We've had like a zillion conversations about it until I'm blue in the face and I'm kind of like over it by now. What is his response? What does he say?

Oh, he just says like, yeah, I do want to live with you. I do want to get married. And I believe him. He does. It's just to get him to move like in any sort of way, any sort of action. He is not a planner by any means. So for him to do anything is like pulling teeth. Well, you could kill two birds with one stone. You can just break up with your current boyfriend and get back together with your ex. And I bet you the current boyfriend will be ready to move in. I'm not joking. 100% that would be the case. If I broke up with my boyfriend today, he would text me in or call me in like a month or two and crying or something like that's the way it works. Yeah, always, always. Michael, what are your thoughts on having two pending

relationships, one relationship and one ex lover? It just seems confusing. And I think that essentially, Jackie, I think you are having an emotional affair with your ex boyfriend. And you know that your current boyfriend wouldn't like that, you might have to kick both these dudes to the curb. You might have to start from scratch because neither one of them might not be the guy for you for a long-term thing. Well, that's what I'm thinking. I feel like they're lacking. They pick up what each other lacks. They both, yeah, may not work out. That's a real reality. Or you could just be honest with your real current boyfriend and tell him that you're having an emotional affair with your ex-boyfriend because of what's

lacking in your relationship today. Yeah. You got options. Because if he breaks up with you, you could just go back with that other guy. I'll just make him make the decision for me. Well, yeah. I mean, why not just be honest about it? I mean, that is the best form of communication is like laying it out there. And that way you don't have anything to feel guilty about. Be like, listen, this is lacking. I'm a little bit bummed about how slowly this is moving and I want to be living together. You don't want this. So I've started talking to my ex-boyfriend and guess what? He's really in love with me. And I feel like I get something from him that I'm not getting from this relationship. This

is worth discussing if we're going to move forward or not, you know? Yeah. And I, I haven't told him about my ex-boyfriend, but I have kind of like shut things down with him a little bit. Like we're not completely broken up or anything, but I'm saying I can't wait one more day for him to make a move on anything. So we're kind of, we're not, not together, but we're not together either. I know that's messy, but like, that's kind of the situation we're in right now. Yeah. It sounds like, yeah, you're in a messy part of your life a little bit, which is fine, you know, because then, you know, around the corner is like normal adulthood or healthy, healthier circumstances. Well, then great. You have the opportunity. You

guys are separated, sort of like go and just tell him this now. Like, OK, if you want to do something, this is the time frame I need it to happen otherwise I may start dating my ex-boyfriend I think if you do like actually break up with the current boyfriend-ish situation you have to bang the ex like you have to even if you don't date him just like at least once oh yeah for sure excellent oh I've wanted to be like a hoe hoe girl summer forever and I've never got to because I'm always in a relationship. So maybe I'll just dump both of them. And by summer, I can go out with anyone I want. Yeah, I love that. So that's a long lead until summer. Yeah. Yeah, but I have to get in shape too. So that's that gives me a good just take some those epic, you'll be fine. You don't have to get in shape. Everyone's

on ozempic now. So that's right. Michael, do you have any thoughts about like getting back with an ex because Michael was telling us his wife, they had dated when they were in their early 20s, and then they went their separate ways and came back together and are married now. Did you always love your current wife now, even when you were with your other wife? Not in any sort of... I mean, in a broad picture, we were like, we didn't... My wife, Kibi, now, I'm a burn the building and the street and the city down type of person a lot of times when i end relationships this was the only relationship where it kind of ended in a even though it didn't relationships ends always sad but it was always

like we always stayed in in good graces and we were always like loving to each other but that being said i mean it was just timing you know it, you know, this, it was years, it was years and years and years that we, that we weren't together. So, I mean, each situation is different. I mean, I have no problem, you know, with getting back with people, each situation is so specific and different. So when you were with your one wife and if you saw your other wife, did you like feel any certain way? Loving, very loving, loving but not not anything to be ashamed of or like i'm talking like chemistry wise like you don't feel that like buzz honestly it's hard to answer that because it's such a long time ago but it just it wasn't it wasn't as complicated you're in a conundrum yeah no shit you're you're in a conundrum, Jackie. Jackie, tell me this. If you never saw either one of them again,

is there one that you would feel like he's the one that got away? Yes, my current boyfriend, for sure. Well, I think that's your answer. I think you owe it to him to just be really honest and put it all out there. You have nothing to lose. Well, yeah, absolutely. But I feel like I deserve more than what he's giving me. And if he's not going to give me any more, then that's that anyways. Yes. Even if my ex-boyfriend didn't show up, like this still isn't enough for me anyways. So it would probably, you know what I mean?

And that's what needs, yeah, you got to communicate that to him. Like if you want to keep me, this moves to the next level. And if not, cool. Like I got options. It's so weird that women always have to give men ultimatums. Like I just, it's so annoying to have to even do that. Like I understand your frustration because you want it to be a mutual affection. Like you shouldn't have to worry about whether somebody is going to want you to move in.

It should be like you both are like, yeah, we're doing that. We're moving in together. We're in love. So I can understand why you're not feeling that, you know, respect or want. The other person should want it just as much as me. And if he doesn't, then I feel like that's a sign. How old are you? 36. Oh, okay. So you're, yeah, you're a grownup sort of. Yeah. I mean, I've been married, divorced, gone through relationships, therapy, the whole thing. So I'm very like, I'm very self-aware of what's going on. That's why this messy situation is not like suiting me.

Yeah. Like, I think the advice would be different if you were 25, you know? Oh, yeah. And also, I'm not telling like anyone about this. You're the first people I've ever talked to. The whole world's going to know now. Oh, I'm not telling anyone about this. We're keeping her video private. We'll keep her video private. Her video won't go up. They'll just hear her voice. So what are we leaving with?

What are we telling her what to do? I don't fucking know. Chelsea, I've been here for answers. I know. I know. I mean, I just, well, I think first things first. You have to have the conversation with your ex. I mean, with your current boyfriend, you have to have a conversation and go, listen, forget about this little area you're in, this gray area. You want black and white. Like,

are you guys going to move in together or not? And if you're not, that's fine. You're going to move on. And just let him know that you don't have to mention the ex-boyfriend. You don't have to threaten him with whom. Just say, I'm ready to move on if you're not going to do this. And get that out of the way. Then see what he says. If the answer is no, I'm not ready, then go great. And then you can go, you have every right to go date your ex-boyfriend and see if that is something that you want. And then I guarantee you this guy is going to come around and once he loses you, that's what happens in every single relationship. One person leaves and then the other person is like, what can I do? I know my ex-husband's the same way. Like he still wants to get back together.

Well, it sounds like everybody wants to get back together with you. Yeah. After they're done. Sure. But yeah, I don't know. It's a really hard thing. And I don't want to hurt anybody. That sucks. Don't worry about that. You can't control that. You have to do what's best for you. Don't worry about hurting anybody. Have the conversation. Are you going to do this? You're going to have the conversation with your current guy and an honest one? Yeah, I already have.

Like, we're on, like, a not talking basis for a couple days now. Okay. So when you talk again, have this conversation. Yes. Okay? Absolutely. And then, like, if you need to go be a hoe, be a hoe and tell us about it. Yeah, totally.

Don't feel bad about being a hoe either. It could be the best thing for me. Who knows? Yeah. Yeah. Michael's still licking his lips. Yeah. Well, it's also, it's also, I didn't sleep good. But when you guys say go be a hoe, be a hoe, you know, I think that's, I think that's, you know, I think women these days, this is kind of like talked about, but I think it's a lot harder to do it's a lot easier to say than actually do for women to actually go be go be hoes that's why i'm taking to do it

it might be the easiest thing yeah rather than relationships yeah it's definitely fun to like have a bunch of guys that you're juggling. That's fun. I've done that in my life before. And I like that feeling because there's no ties to anyone. And you're just like you can let people know you're not available for anything more serious. And most guys are totally down with that anyway. So. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, Jackie, let us know what you do when you make your fucking decision and make some and take some action and let us know what happens I will thank you so much all right Jackie sorry Jackie bye that's a stumper that was all over the shop what I was like wait what and then they're

not together it's like wait I don't understand I was excited when I thought she was having an affair I I love to listen. This is terrible. I thought you would hate that. That's why I clarified so early. I love listening to people talk about affairs. Like, I love on shows when there's affairs. I love it.

I don't know why. I wanted that, too. Damn, I ruined it. Sorry, guys. I wanted that. I wanted it more messy. Yeah. I want some Jerry Springer shit.

Comment at us with your messy stuff, guys. Well, our next caller is Lucky. Lucky says, I'm not sure if you'll ever read this, but what the hell? Three months ago, I started doing stand-up after I graduated from college in film. A lot of my professors told me to go into grad school or some sort of writing program for comedy, so I went with the free option of stand-up. Apparently, I'm very good, which is still surprising to me since a lot of my material is me being a lesbian and non-binary, and I live in the closest thing to a city in Montana. A lot of comics in my area I have looked up to have praised and supported me these past three months, and I'm forever grateful. Recently, one even helped me get my first paid guest spot for an

upcoming show. The one thing that all the comedians have told me that I should work on is my confidence. Like a lot of comedians, I'm a byproduct of trauma, autism, and Catholic shame, so I can sometimes crumble if my confidence wavers and always have the cadence of someone who's unsure of what they're saying. Even though I'm only going to be on the stage for five minutes, I still want to do really well since there's a guy there who books you more gigs if he likes your stuff. Plus, I want to be good for all the comedians that have supported me and believed in me. How do I gain more confidence in the next two weeks or at least learn how to fake it? Lucky. And Lucky is 23 and Lucky's here with us as well.

Hi, Lucky. Hello. Hi. This is Michael, our special guest today. How you doing, Lucky? I'm the special guest. Actually, I had it in my contract, Chelsea, to refer to me as very special guest. I ripped up your contract before the podcast started. Anyway, Lucky, I'm supposed to be referred to as the very special guest, but that's all right. Sounds good. I'm just taking be referred to as the very special guest, but that's all right. Sounds good. I'm just taking it all in right now.

Lucky, so you want to build your confidence in two weeks? Yeah. The two weeks, is that a showcase or something? Yeah, I'm opening for another comedian who is coming into the only really comedy place we have in Montana. Well, I think there's a lot of exercises you can do. Like if you just do shit that scares you for the next two weeks, or you go and just start doing stand up in front of stores, or where people aren't gathered to do stand up, that's going to be a way to build your confidence. Extreme situations that you're not comfortable in and putting yourself out there like standing outside of a grocery store asking people if they want to hear your material that would probably build a lot of confidence because there's going to be a lot of rejection and that's also confidence building.

It doesn't seem like it works that way but over time and over like hits and misses you do that is how you build confidence the only way you're going to build confidence is with more stage time so I would create that stage time in places where no one's expecting to see comedy so you can have the worst possible scenarios and that way when you're in a comedy club it won't even compare to that that definitely makes a lot of sense I agree I think that's a really good advice I always think it's good advice to take a deep breath. But I think based on where you are and the limited amount of stage time you're going to be able to get, I think that's really good advice that Chelsea gave. Even though I'm the very special guest and I thought I was going to be the person giving great advice, I don't think I could top that. But just relax. I think the most important thing is to just relax and to trust yourself and to trust your instincts.

And I know that sounds generic, but I mean, at the end of the day, that's all you could do and know your material. And, and, and, uh, you know, hopefully you'll, uh, just take a big deep breath before you get up there and have fun. It's comedy. You, you, if you're not having fun, the crowd can't have fun. Yeah. Those things are generic, but they're true. The reason why that people say them so frequently is because all of those things are true. You want to be able to be present on stage and be like in the moment

and actually enjoying yourself, right? You want to remember each moment and be like secure in that. And the more you remind yourself, I always feel like when you're present and not distracted, like nothing can go wrong because you're really in the moment and you're reacting in real time. And yeah, you have your jokes and your material set up, but you've got that. That's what you've got. The other things that you can't control are the things that you can just be present for and be aware of. And I feel like nothing can go wrong when you're really focused and honed in on something. And I would definitely do that.

Even go over to your friends' houses. Go over to your family's houses and fucking make them listen to you do stand-up. Just keep putting yourself in really awkward situations. And I think it'll lend itself to giving you more confidence. Yeah, no, definitely. I will probably refrain from my parents because they might not like the jokes I have about them. But who cares? That's even more.

That's even better. Let them be squirm. And that way, you know, that's going to be awkward. Getting through awkward moments with confidence. You know, that's what you want to do. And so that's okay. Yeah, I will say this is a very awkward moment for me. So I'm good exercise. Yeah.

And by the way, not every comedian has to be the most confident. There's a lot of weird comics out there that have like a weird energy about them where they don't exude confidence. Michael, you would agree with me, wouldn't you? A hundred percent. You don't have to exude confidence, but do you think, Chelsea, that some comedians, it's almost like a character that they're doing that? Because I always think like those kinds of comedians, whether it's the one that pops into my head, who I was thinking about recently, and I used to see him all the time, Emo Phillips, you're like, this fucking guy seems like he's in pain walking down the street,

but yet to have the balls to go on stage, there has to be a certain amount of confidence. I don't know. That's the person that came to my head, but there's a lot of people that play that sort of role, but to me, it's sort of like, it's a character. Do you think so, Chelsea, or no? Yeah, I agree.

I think that a lot of people are playing up this kind of persona or character, if you will, but I do think that there's a lot of people people like there's a difference between stage presence and confidence also. I think what you really want is stage presence, right? Because it might be part of your comedy that you're not that confident. You know, that's true. So I think that's more important to think about, about like commanding a stage and being out there and making sure that nobody's going to trample making sure that nobody's going to trample on you or nobody's going to try and heckle you. Like that's more of a stage presence where

you're commanding the audience's attention. And I think that would probably be a better focus than trying to instill the confidence because that just comes with time and with time spent on stage. I mean, I stand by doing those exercises still, but, you know, just kind of a delineation of the two words. Lucky, you're getting world class advice from Chelsea here. That's like good shit you're getting here. Yeah, no, this is a very surreal moment for me, considering I used to watch Chelsea as a kid and why I'm doing this now. So this is a good good. Make sure you have fun, Lucky.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself you're not jumping off a cliff you ain't taking the sat you know there's far more things that the ramifications are going to be worse you've made people laugh before they're going to laugh again just have a good time thank you i appreciate it so much and you guys taking the time to tell me all this. Absolutely, honey. We're on your team. We're on Team Lucky. Yes. And what a fantastic name also. Thank you. I chose it myself. I love it. Good for you. Good for you.

All right, Lucky. Well, let us know how it goes. And you're going to do great. Thank you so much. Okay. Take care and try and get out of Wyoming as soon you so much. Okay. Take care. And try and get out of Wyoming as soon as you can, okay? Montana, but same thing. Oh, it is the same thing, actually. Bye, Lucky. Bye.

God, I can't believe people even have stand-up comedy clubs there. I don't think I've ever performed in Montana. I mean, it's just open spaces, really, I think. You just go out into a field and start telling jokes to the wheat? Or what's in Montana? Yeah. There's a ski resort in Montana. That's all I know about Montana. We drove across Montana actually last year, and it was the weirdest thing.

It was super flat, and there were just these, like, you could see storms in the distance, but you'd just see a column of rain coming from a cloud. It wasn't like the whole, you know, distance was filled with rain. And we wound up driving through one. It was just a downpour. And we drove out the other side in like five minutes. It was the most bonkers weather I've ever seen. It sounds like one of those rain. You know how you see those on social media now, those like twisters, but they have them over water where they pull up the water. Yes. I'm like, what the fuck is that? I don't want to be on a fucking boat and run into one of those things. No, no, thank you.

Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back to finish up with Michael and Chelsea. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir.

Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, no really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a

limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No, Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! Well, this is the part of the show, Michael, where we would like to know if you would like any advice from Chelsea. Yeah, what advice could I ask from Chelsea Handler?

Parenting advice? Well, my kids are 20 and 22, so they're boys. What the fuck? You got kids, Chelsea? No. You going to have kids? No, I'm 47. I can't have kids anymore.

I hope not. You might Halle Berry it. You never know. Oh, believe me. She's like 51. No, I'm not fucking pulling any shit like that. I don't like that. I don't like having babies at 50.

I'm not down for that. Do you want any kids? No. If I wanted kids, I would have had them. I don't have time for that. I'm too selfish. I like my life. I'm not interested in raising anybody or being responsible.

You know, having to provide them with all the information that comes along with having to parent. I'm too selfish. I like my life. I'm not interested in raising anybody or being responsible, you know, having to provide them with all the information that comes along with having to parent. First of all, they ask too many fucking questions. That's annoying. You know, I mean, I can't even handle all the questions and the incessantness. I don't think incessantness is a word, but maybe it is. I'll look it up. I'm sure it'll be a word by the end of the week. Here's a question I have for you, Chelsea. You're a shit talker. I consider myself a shit talker. I say that with all due respect. How do you maintain your shit talking superpowers in this delicate cancel culture day and age without compromising your shit talking superpowers and your gut instinct to talk shit. Do you know what I'm saying? Well, I think the rules are very simple. We're not

supposed to be racist and we're not supposed to be sexist. That's it. As long as you're not discriminating against a certain group of people within your shit talking, as you say, then there is no problem. I don't feel like that's such a tall order. I feel like if I don't have to be racist or sexist, okay, great. I like parameters. It makes you more clever. And, you know, when you're picking fights with people, make sure you're picking them with the people that you disagree with on a value level. You know, if you're talking, I mean, we're talking about like Republicans and Trump and Kanye, like those are pretty big targets and rightfully so, you know, and deserving of it. So I just think about it in terms like that.

It doesn't limit my personality or make me, you know, I mean, we can all be kinder and gentler, but it's not going to take away my pizzazz or whatever the fuck it is. My ability to call somebody out when they're acting like an idiot, A, or an asshole. And there are also varying degrees of ways to say those things, you know? Right, right. There definitely are varying ways to say things. You know, I choose, my persona doesn't allow me, I'm not going to placate and be delicate with these people, you know, especially when it's coming at the Jews. Because also I have such a, I don't like the stereotypes, particularly in show business, of Jewish men. You know, I do not like them.

They're perpetuated. That's part of who I am. It's part of who my family is. But I feel like that's all we get to see for the most part with Jewish men. And I don't like that. I don't like that. Well, I mean, I think those are two separate issues, you know, I mean, I think those, yeah, I just think, listen, nobody wants to be discriminated against and nobody wants to be, you know, be told that's just like human decency. Like we should evolve, right? We should understand that that's not a pleasant feeling. And I think that, you know, real comedy comes from self-deprecation.

Like when you're starting out with yourself, then you can have more leeway to go after other people because you have to be an egalitarian about it. Right. And we just can't just handpick certain groups or I mean, the Jewish thing, the conversation. I mean, we're talking about a couple of different things here, but people not standing up for Jewish people. I think you kind of touched upon, which I think a lot of people assume that Jewish people can take care of themselves, which is not helpful. And it's a falsehood. It's like, if you're going to stand up for BLM, I also read this woman's post yesterday, who was saying she was so pissed that all these white people were going up talking about standing up for Jews, yet where were they for BLM? And I'm like, well, wait a second. We were all right there.

What are you talking about? I mean, not all of us, but I know I was. I know you were. I know you were. So it's an unfortunate conversation to constantly have, but I don't think we're going to move past it until we just get it right. We keep rehashing it and rehashing it. And then there's all this resistance to it. And it's like, oh, well, this is limiting my behavior. Like your personality or your persona, which I would argue is your personality. It's not a persona. That's who you are. You're not a discriminatory guy. So I don't think that you have that much to worry about.

You know what I mean? You're not coming from some nasty place. You're not on Breitbart, if that's still up and running. Hopefully not. You know, I don't I don't look at you like, oh, you're going to have to watch what you say. And I don't think I have to watch what I say because I'm not a fucking idiot. You know, I know better.

Like when you know better, you do better, as Oprah says. But it's true. It's like, oh, we're all educated on it now. You know, like let's just behave in a little bit more mindful way, especially with the shit that's going on. I like to put out good vibes, but I'm not going to be soft ever. I'm always going to be a cunt.

Like, that's part of my DNA. Right. I got you. That's good. I like that. I mean, this whole episode was all over the shop, I think. You know what I mean? We had calls that were making sense, predicaments that aren't making sense, conversations that are circular.

But whatever. I mean, it's a good fucking day at work then, isn't it? Yeah. Just to be more confused than when we started. Yeah, we solved nothing. We didn't solve anything today. This was a hot mess. But I love you, Michael Rapaport. I love you. You're entertaining. You're entertaining. That's my Brooklyn accent. You're entertaining. And everybody needs to follow Michael on Instagram. Is it at Michael Rapaport or the Michael Rappaport? Yeah, yeah, yeah. At Michael Rappaport. At Michael Rappaport.

And also you have a new podcast coming out, right? Yeah, well, it's not new, but yeah, the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. Oh, okay. On iHeart, right? On iHeart. Yeah, I love doing it. And it's a lot of fun. I love doing it.

We've been doing it for a while now and it's a good time. Okay, so he has a podcast. It's called I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. You can find that on iHeart. He's also on tour doing live shows and all tickets and dates are available at michaelrappaportcomedy.com. So follow him on Instagram, go buy tickets to his show. I'd like to see you perform live. That would be funny. Maybe then you guys could meet in person. Oh yeah. Yeah. We'll have to meet in person. I'll go look at your dates and see if you're going to be around wherever I'm going to be around. You're touring now too, right?

Yeah. I'm wrapping up my tour. So I'm just doing the weekends. Oh good. Are you having fun? I am. I am. I mean, I'm excited to take a break from standup after this. I'm just doing the last, I think I have like 20 dates left. So yeah, I always have fun on the road. I mean, it's nice. You know, now I have to come up with a new hour because I just shot my special. And so yeah, now I'll use these dates to come up with new material. So I'm like, fuck, I don't have time to be writing fucking material. I mean, I do, but I'm not writing it. So I've got to just really start thinking. That's cool. Okay, I can't wait to hear it. All right. Well, I'll see you soon, Michael. Thanks so much. Anytime. I appreciate it. This was fun, you guys. And thank you for having me,

you guys. And hopefully we will meet in real life soon. Okay. Sounds good. Thanks. Bye. Bye. So I am winding up my standup tour. Vaccinated and Horny is coming to a screeching halt at the end of the year. I have my last dates coming up. And these are the last opportunities you have to also buy merch

from the website, ChelseaHandler.com if you want Vaccinated and Horny merch or Captain's Hats that say we're the captains now for women only. Or t-shirts for men in your family that say I'm sorry

because they should be. I only have a few dates left. I'm going to Rockford, Illinois, Minneapolis, Rosemont, Illinois, two shows in Tampa, a show in Fort Myers, Florida, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, Concord, New Hampshire, Worcester, Mass, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. There, I said it.

And then San Diego and Riverside, California, and then Baltimore, Maryland. And then my very last date is December 16th in Redding, Pennsylvania. If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can subscribe to Dear Chelsea. That is our podcast. And you can rate us if you want. Yeah, that's a great idea. It actually makes a huge difference for this podcast, for any podcast that you like. Subscribing giving it a rating, actually make a huge difference in who all it gets served to and how to spread the word. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Subscribe and comment. Yeah. And follow. I'm trying to find what our rating is. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio. Executive produced by Nick Stumpf. Produced by Catherine Law and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really No Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

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