Dear Chelsea - One Long Muscle with Mary Elizabeth Ellis

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

Mary Elizabeth Ellis (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) chats with Chelsea about the importance of teenage haircuts, softening her parenting instincts, her 20-year marriage to Charlie Day. Then: A friend just wants to see her bestie’s baby. A small-town barista wonders if she should shelve dating for a while.  And a business badass struggles with timing for building her family. * Catch Mary Elizabeth on Netflix’s Man on the Inside - season 2 is out now! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. I'm on my podcast, 2%. I break down the signs of mental toughness,

fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T.W. on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Saturday, May 2nd, Country's biggest stars will be in Austin, Texas, at our 2026 IHeart Country Festival presented by Capital One, C. C. Cain Brown, Parker McCollum, Riley Green, Shaboozy, Dylan Scott, Russell Dickerson, Gretchen Wilson, Chase Matthew, Lauren Elena. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours before they sell out at Ticketmaster.com. Hey there, folks. Amy Robach and Tj. Holmes here.

And we know there is a lot of news coming at you these days from the war with Iran to the ongoing Epstein fallout, government shutdowns, high-profile trials, and what the hell is that Blake lively thing about anyway? We are on it every day, all day. Follow us, Amy and T. for news updates throughout the day. Listen to Amy and TJ on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast, Eating While Broke,

is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to community striving. If there's not enough money,

and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they failed. Listen to Eating Wallbrook from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, for the high and mighty tour, people, we are rock and rolling. These are the shows we have coming up. April 16th is Albuquerque. April 17th is Mesa, Arizona. April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri.

April 25th is Minneapolis. April 30th, Nashville. 1st, Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina. May 6th in Los Angeles at the Sabon Theater for Netflix is a joke. April 15th, I will be in Saratoga, April 16th, Monterey, April 17th, Modesto. I will be in Port Chester on June 4th. June 5th, I will be in Boston, Massachusetts. June 12th, I will be in Portland, Oregon. And June 13th, I will be in Seattle, Washington. June 27th, It's going to be Hyannis, Massachusetts. August 6th is Red Bank, New Jersey.

August 7th, I'm coming home to Montclair, New Jersey. August 15th is Calgary, Alberta, Canada. September 18th, Santa Barbara. September 19th, San Diego. September 25th, I will be at the beacon in New York City. September 26th, I will be in Philadelphia. September 27th, New Haven, Connecticut. October 2nd, Atlanta, Georgia, October 3rd, Baltimore, Maryland.

October 4th, Saturday. Agenau, Michigan, October 9th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October 10th, Toronto, Canada. October 16th, I'm coming to Boise, Idaho. October 17th, Spokane, Washington, November 7th. I will be in San Francisco. And November 13th, Salt Lake City, November 20th, Austin, November 21st, Houston, in Texas, November 22nd, Irving, Texas. December 5th, I am adding a second show in Denver, for those of you who couldn't get tickets

to the first one. And on December 6, I will be coming to Vancouver, Canada. Okay, those are all my dates for the high and mighty door. Go to Chelseahandler.com for tickets. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, I was just reading on my phone that there is a new island in Finland that is designated for women only, women only because they don't want to be looked at or gawked up by men.

and that men are, I just was in Finland, and I have to say that it was very, you could feel the equality. I don't know what that means, but more like everyone looked exactly the same. But on the other side of that, there's always this backlash that men think, oh, you're discriminating against us.

It's like, hello, there have been men's clubs and golf clubs since the beginning of time that do not allow women. Like, women are allowed to do that. Men are allowed to do it too, by the way. You're not, it's not a problem. Yeah. Like, go ahead and make your own island. Anyway, that's where I'll be. We saw it happened last time that happens.

Where? A man having his own island? Oh, yeah, yeah. No islands for men. No islands for today. Okay, our guest today, you know from Netflix's Man on the Inside and as the waitress from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Please welcome Mary Elizabeth Ellis. Okay, we're here with Mary Elizabeth.

And I know that I can only call you Mary Elizabeth. That's right. You go by Mary Elizabeth. I go by Mary Elizabeth. No, Mary. I go by Emmy. Emmy. Okay.

Like on set. Yeah, because people get concerned about how long the day is going to be if they have to say my name a bunch of times. Did you grow up going by Mary Elizabeth? I got called Mary E. I grew up in Mississippi, so I got called Mary E a lot. What was going on in Mississippi when you were growing up? Well, I wasn't aware of it because I was just in it, you know what I mean? Now what's going on in Mississippi?

I don't want to know. Do you have family there still? Yeah, my family's still. So there's a, we were just talking about property brothers and there's a HGTV show. called hometown. It's my own town. I grew up there. My house that I grew up in has been on that show.

Oh, really? Yeah. Laurel, Mississippi. Wow. Yeah. You're Mary Elizabeth and this is Catherine Elizabeth. I am Catherine Elizabeth. Hey, Catherine Elizabeth.

But you don't have a middle name, do you? I mean, it's technically my middle name. Sure. But I just go by both of them. What does your husband call you? Emmy. And all your friends call you Emmy? Emmy, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Because you've been on set this whole time with each other. I only, I'm only ever on set. I like the fact that everyone in it's always Sunny in Philadelphia is married. I know. I saw Caitlin on here on your show. Yeah, she was on here recently too. Yeah, I love her.

She was great. But you guys are all married, but playing roles where, well, I mean, maybe that, but you were married before the show, right? Well, Charlie and I were together before the show. We got married between season one and season two. Like, we put our honeymoon off so we could go shoot season two of Always Sunny. That's romantic. Yeah.

And was like just. a crazy time because we shot season one and then FX was like we really, this isn't our demographic because at the time it was like the shield. It was like old white dudes that were watching FX. So they were like, you guys need like an old white dude basically to be on your show. And John Langraf had been running Jersey films with Danny DeVito. So he was like, how about Danny DeVito? And we were like, oh, okay, does Danny DeVito want to be on our show? Like we were a one season basic cable. It's so funny that they needed to get an old white guy. Like just in there. We can't do a show unless we have an old white guy.

I know. Because there's such a hot demand. Yeah. Well, we just weren't their demographic, I guess. So, yeah, they were like, how about Danny DeVito? And we were like, I'm sure Danny DeVito wants to do our show. And then he was like, yeah, I'll do it. And we were like, great, get naked and crawl out of this couch, sir.

I think he's probably fine with that. I've seen him out out in the wild. Yeah. And he seems like a fun guy to hang out with. He's a party. Yeah. What's it like to be on the show for that many years? Is it just so cozy and cozy and

comfy? Yes. I mean, it's like going home and seeing family. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I only do like two or three episodes a season and we shoot so fast that usually, I mean, I already shot two episodes for this season and I'm done. Great. Yeah. And Carol Kane is on this season. Is she? Have you gotten to work with her? No. I just like, she's like another one that I just, I'm also getting to work with Mary Steenberg on my other shows. So like, yeah. Yeah, because you're in this new show with Ted Dancin. Well, not. I just like, she's like, I just like, she's like, I'm also getting to work with Mary Steenbergh in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. Yeah. It's not new show. It's not new, new, new, but man on the inside. Man on the inside. Man on the inside. But Mary and Ted together, I think, are one of the cutest couples. Cutest things. Cus things of all time.

It's also cute how he's kind of like, and she's like, stop. Yeah. I did his podcast. I did his podcast a few months ago and Woody wasn't there. Woody Harrelson wasn't there. I think they co-hosted it, but Woody shows up like once. He's like never there. Yeah.

He like shows up when he can, which is not often. And I, Ted was, I could just see Ted's trepidation about being. being like alone and having a conversation with you. He was just like this. And I was like, it's okay, Ted. I'm okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.

Like, I'm not going to attack you or emasculate you in any way. He's like, I know, I know, but you're just a lot. I'm like, I understand. I understand. It's not for everyone. But Mary is. Mary puts him in his place. Yes.

And she's not a lot. Like I'm a lot, but she's all woman. She also is like, every time she tells a story, she's like, well, I woke up in the Lincoln bedroom and you're like, I'm sorry, what? Like, you know, every story is just, like, incredible. She's been, like, Forrest Gump, like in the most amazing places her entire life. Yeah.

And so you guys have a kid together, you and Charlie. Charlie and I have a kid together. Not you and Ted and Mary. Not too. I would love to have a kid with Mary. Yeah, yeah. Every, two, all women want to have children together. With other women.

Yeah. There aren't many men that I'm like, oh, I'd love to have a kid. That's true. Yeah. And how old is your son? Our son is 14. and he, I'm sure he'll be back by the time this airs, but he's in D.C. this week on the, like, you know, requisite eighth grade. Oh, really? Like, field trip to D.C. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a weird time to go to D.C. Yeah. I know. I was like, is it safe? And they were like,

is going to school safe. Is anything safe? Like, no, nothing's safe. Nothing's really safe. It is funny because D.C. is a really cool city, like, generally speaking. Do you mean, like, historically or like to hang out in? Both. When there's, and I don't just mean when there's, and I don't just mean when there's a Democrat in office, when there's a president in office, you know, a respectable one. It's just a, it's a cool city. It has this history. It has a nightlife. It has a vibe. There's politics. I love politics. I love being around like that kind of energy and hearing and talking to people that are like in the political world. So it is a really cool city to go to. But right now, I'm on tour. I started my tour in D.C. That was my first show. And they were like, we, you know, like things are dying. And there was definitely like this odiousness in the air.

You know, you go there because it's like you look at the White House and it just represents something completely different. Yeah. And it's being torn down halfway. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So anyway. I know.

It is. It's a strange time. But it's been interesting because they send like pictures and just seeing like your kid in front of the Capitol building or like the Washington monument. You're like, okay, good. I'm glad he's at least like learning. I don't know about how our country was founded. I know.

I wonder how children will be. Yeah. I haven't even gotten that far in my thinking, you know, like to be circumspect about it, like to think about how this will affect the children that are growing up in this time. I'm just thinking about how it affects the world in an immediate way. But yeah, that's kind of like a whole other reason, never to have children. No offense. No, I know.

I think it would be really hard right now to make that decision. But also there's always the argument of like, well, if people who are forward thinking aren't having children, then like we're going to be screwed in the future. So I think it is important also to, you know, be having kids and teaching them like the right things. The right things for us, you know. My goddaughter is almost 16 and we were having a conversation and I was like, yeah, it was during that protest, you know. And she was like, which one, the women's march or stop Asian hate or the no king's one or the. And I was like, oh my God, this kid has been processing her entire life.

Wow. You know. Yeah, that is. That is interesting to think about. about. I read that when I was reading your packet, our research packet, that you are able to cry on cue because of your sister's abuse? Yes. Thank you for naming that. Rebecca. Rebecca, we're talking to you. Tell us a little bit about that. I'm like, please don't make me do it right now, though. I feel like I don't know. We don't want anyone crying. Did you see Kaye or Lance

show that she did? She made herself cry every night. She would have to like cry like with a camera on her in the giant auditorium. It was like pretty and a pretty amazing thing to make yourself have to do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, are you able to do that in a second? I don't know. I think probably, probably still, there's enough to cry about there that I feel connected to. Yeah, that's true. I guess you don't need a lot to do you think you could cry on cue? Yes, but I'd have to like get there. I mean, I think even if I'm like, I don't know, like even golden, the song Golden from like K-pop Demon Hunters will make me cry. Doesn't it?

Does it? Yes. Yeah. People love that song. I love it. It's so, I think also because I don't have a kid that makes me listen to it all the time when it comes on. That and like the Moana song of like, oh, I love Moana.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You sound like Kara Swisher. Do you ever listen to Kara Swisher? No, no. She talks about K-pop demon hunters in Moana all the time, but she has little kids. Okay, yeah.

Yeah. So is K-pop demon? I don't know anything about K-pop demon-hers. Everyone loves it. Is it for children or adults, though? I mean, maybe you can answer that, but so many of my adult friends have been like, no, no, no, but you would love it. You have to watch it.

I'm like, I haven't watched it yet. I'm like, was raised on Disney. So, you know, like in my therapy sessions, my therapist will be like, what does that make you think of? And I'm like, I'm the witch. I'm like the evil witch with the apple, but I'm also snow white. And I'm like, you know, because that's the point of them, right? Is to be like super big and dramatic and also like hold these themes that are so big.

Yeah. I remember I'm not that into like animated because I mistakenly associate animated films with children's films. I think that's how they kind of came on the scene, right? Yeah. Animation came on the scene. And so and then once I watched Finding Nemo, I think was my first animated film that I watched like several years after it was out with my friend's kids. And I was like, these are pretty serious. serious themes.

Yeah. Like, these are themes for adults. Like, this is an adult movie, but it's just in a cartoon. Yes. So I found that quite interesting. Yeah, especially these days you have like inside out that's all about like having big emotions and like there's not a villain. It's like your villain is anxiety or, you know, these dark thoughts and feelings.

Right, right. I'm learning how to process them. So, okay, back to you and your husband. You've been married for 20 years and I heard, I've heard you say that it's like, it's a full ongoing one night stand. is how you refer to it. Yeah, they just asked him, he's doing a press tour right now

because he plays the voice of Luigi in the Super Mario movie. Oh, really? And that's about to come out the second one. Oh, that was my favorite game. Yeah, so fun. I spent hours and hours of my childhood. Oh, so good.

Did you play Jaws too? Do you remember the Jaws? I lived Jaws. I grew up on Martha's Vineyard in the summertime and they filmed the very first Jaws in front of our house. So the town I grew up in Amityville is Edgar Town, Martha's Vineyard. Oh, wow.

With the backdrop of Jaws. Yes, yeah. So I wasn't alive when they filmed the first one. I was the year I was born, 1975, but they filmed it in front of our house in the bay. It's called Catama Bay. And so Bruce, the shark that Steven Spielberg used and named, would go back. My brothers and sisters would watch the movie being shot and they would watch the cranes. And they didn't go in the water for fucking decades after that.

Because they're like parts of Bruce are still there. But I didn't know Jaws was a game. It was like a Nintendo game, yeah, where you like have to collect the comp chills. And then at the end you get to like try to step. jab jaws and it never like does what you're trying to fucking get it to do. It never does what you would. It would be hard to maneuver as a shark though. Like I to pretend you're playing the shark. No, no, no. You're killing the shark. You're the good guy who's killing the shark. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think about sharks? Are you scared of sharks? I'm scared of sharks in a

healthy way. Right. I'm with you. Yeah. I'm not crazy about it. No. Like I'm not going to dive with them. But if everyone was going to dive with them and they were like, we're all going. I might do it. I don't want to be the one who's like, come on, we're all going to do this. And then someone dies, but it was my fault. Right. Well, but most of the time when people die from sharks, it's not because they're going shark diving in those cages. No, it's true.

It's because they are just, like, surfing or they're out in the water and then they get bitten. Yes. And then I love the excuse that people say, like, they don't really like humans, but they just bite you. And then they decide they don't like you. I'm like, that doesn't have any impact on what the impact is. Yes. On my bleeding.

Yeah. We're still dying because they're attacking us. They really don't want to be attacking. humans, but they are. So I'm sorry, that doesn't go well together. I feel like people are either really deathly afraid of spiders or snakes. And then sharks come in somewhere in the middle. I have a phobia. Mine is more than a fear of snakes. Oh, of snakes. I get into, like, I could shake or, like, shock and I can't move if there's a snake around me. I have a huge reaction. I'm a huge snake fan. I love snakes. I like a snake. My brother had snakes for me. Like if someone's,

Your brother had snakes. Yeah, I'll hold a snake. Not afraid. Yeah. You're not afraid. I'm afraid of spiders, though. So your theory of that's not afraid of spiders. I'm not afraid of spiders.

I can kill us. What do you like about snakes? Well, my mom is crazy afraid of snakes. So maybe mine's a reaction to be like, these old things. I don't care, you know. And you can handle them and pick them up. Yeah, love. They feel so amazing.

Like you think they're going to be slimy, but they're not. And they're all just like one long muscle. It's just really cool. I know. One long muscle is not appealing. The motion, the motion in which they move and slither is like, especially those sidewinder snakes. Yeah. You know the ones? Yeah.

They had a picture once. This was probably AI, but who knows, I believe it's real. It was like a golf course in Florida with just tons of those, like, whatever those snakes are that are down there. Do Florida have rattlesnakes? I don't know. Yeah, cotton mouths. Florida's got every kind of snake. Oh, I know, I know.

I can't wait for Florida to dislodge into the ocean. I'm dating a guy who lives in Florida. And I was like, I don't know when you're expecting me to come there. Because he's like, when do you think? I'm like, it's not going to happen. Would you go there on tour? I don't. Wow. I don't really like the politics of the state. I like Floridians. Yeah. You know what? And I'm sad that they live there, but I can't support that kind of economy. I just can't. For some reason, Texas, there are other states that are much worse. But like Texas, to me feels like there's hope in Texas. Like at some point, Texas could flip. There's always people trying to flip Texas.

There are pockets of Texas that are very democratic, just like there are in Florida. There are pockets. And every time I go to Florida, I have a great time and I go, I should come back here. But I just really hate what that state represents. It's another open carry state, burning books. I just find that all to be so ick. Yeah. It is hard.

I grew up going to Florida. That's like where we vacationed because Mississippi, Alabama, Florida. Yeah. And so we still go there to Destin every summer. And it's the Redneck Riviera. It's so beautiful. Get our airbrush t-shirts. I feel like I've been to dust in Florida, but I can't imagine for what, because that's a specific area.

Is that on the East Coast of Florida? It's on the Gulf of America. It's on the maps now. We were flying over the other day, and it's on Google. I just wanted to cry. It's on the map. Yeah. So it's on the Gulf, we'll call it, side.

Well, you can enjoy that, and you can enjoy your snakes down there, too. I will. I'll tell him you said, no, thank you. No, thank you, Florida. Meanwhile, watch, I'll add like four cities in Florida next week. No, I won't, though. I mean, I'll try not to. I'll try to stick to my word.

Sometimes whatever I publicly, do you ever find this happening when you make it like a declaration or a proclamation, you end up doing the exact opposite? Like, anytime you publicly declare something, that's why I'm so scared that one day I'll get married because I've spoken so much about refusing to get married. Yeah, it might be coming for you. Do you ever do that? Do you ever make like declarations and then it happens or you do the opposite? Sure.

I feel like you make a declaration and then, yeah, the universe is like, but are you sure? Yeah. Right, right. But it's also like testing you. I don't know. I know people like hate flip-flopping and stuff, but sometimes we like grow and get a different perspective or you're like, well, actually, let me maybe try this. And then, yay, or that wasn't for me. I tried it.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is a podcast about video games. Kind of. It's also about friendship. Definitely. And chaos? Unavoidably.

Welcome to It's Dangerous to Go Alone. A podcast where we talk games, culture, nostalgia, and immediately go off topic. There is no gatekeeping. There is no skill check. If you win a game on Easy Mode, we support you. If you've never touched a controller, honestly, same energy for some of us. It's fun, it's chaotic, it's friendship with a loose gaming theme. And somehow we keep getting away with it.

You should listen. Stream It's Dangerous to Go Alone on the free IHeartRadio app. Or wherever you get your podcasts. 2%. That is the number of people who take. the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.

I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%.

That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I went and sat on the little ottoman in front of him. I said, hi, Dad. And just when I said that, my mom comes out of the kitchen, and she says, I have some cookies and milk. This is a badass convict. Right. Just finished five years. I'm going to have cookies and milk at my mom.

On the senior show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations about recovery, resilience, and redemption. On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon Danny Trail to talk about addiction. transformation and the power of second chances. The entire season two is now available to binge featuring powerful conversations with the guests like Tiffany Addish, Johnny Knoxville, and more. I'm an alcoholic. And without this trouble, I'm going to die.

Open your free IHart radio app. Search the Cito Show. And listen now. This is Amy Roboc alongside T.J. Holmes from the Amy and T.J. podcast. And there is so much news. Information. coming at you all day and from all over the place.

What's fact, what's fake, and sometimes what the F. So let's cut the crap, okay? Follow the Amy and T.J. podcast, a one-stop news and pop culture shop to get you caught up and on with your day. And listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Tell me what you are surprised about in your role as a mother. What surprises you about you as a mother? that's a really good question. I think it has to do more maybe with my relationship, like,

with Charlie as a parent as well. And he sort of is like the one where like our son recently got, everyone has big like crazy curly hair right now. But our son is really into jujitsu. So our son got his head shaved. And it can like, it was getting pinned when he was trying to spar or whatever they do. And he got it buzzed. And he got it buzzed way too short. And he was like, I'm like, I'm like, bald. Like, this isn't a buzz. This is like, I'm bald. And he was like, please don't make me, like, please don't make me go to school tomorrow. And my take is like... And boys' haircuts are so important right now. At 14, I am. More important than they've ever been historically. Yeah, they are. Like, they have that

thing where they all wear, like, what is it? They're getting like perms. Yeah, yeah. And then they all have this thing where they throw their hair up. Like, like, shake it. No, it just looks crazy. Yeah. But they all have to have that haircut. And then, yeah, all my friends, who have teenage boys, it's a serious situation. This isn't the first time I've heard a story like this. Yeah. So Russell was like, I'm going to do something different because I want it for like myself, which is great.

I'm like, I love that autonomy, doing what works for you. And then it got just like skin head shaved, you know? And he was like, I cannot go to school today like this. And I was like, I don't know. Like suck it up. Like if it's fucking hard to be a person sometimes, you know? And Charlie was like, please don't make him go to school. And then I was like, oh.

I need to soften. Like I am a little bit more of the like, no, buck up. Like, but that's how I am with myself, you know? And Charlie's better, I think, at sometimes just being like, it's okay. Like, it's okay to miss a day of school. And so, did you end up letting him stay home? Yeah. Yeah.

Which is fine. Yeah. I think it's interesting the way that every, like people parent and I don't mean just people who have kids because obviously there's plenty of people out there who play a parenting role in other people's lives. But like the things you would do for. yourself are different than the things that the standards you set for others. You know, just like you would tolerate certain behaviors and say relationships,

romantic relationships that you would never tolerate for like your sister or your cousin or your best friend. You know, like sometimes we treat ourselves so harshly. It's not equal to the way that we want other people to go through the world. Yes. I mean, I do let him speak to me in ways that like, if anyone else spoke to me in that way. And sometimes he will say something to me and I will look at Charlie like, and he's like, Let it go. Let it go. And I'm like...

Especially growing up in the South, it's like you respect your elders and you don't talk to adults in a certain way. You get smacked, you know? And I'm like, I don't smack him. So like, I don't know how to parent this right now. And Charlie's just really good at being like, it's just like fucking raging hormones. Just let it go. He'll move through it. And I'm like, but will I move through it? Because guess who else has raging hormones right now? So... Being a woman right now is... It's in it ever... a raging hormone. It is. It doesn't matter what age you are, it is a raging hormone to be a woman in this world watching everything go by. You're just like, it feels like we should be doing something,

but nobody seems to know exactly what we should be doing. I know. But I do like how, I feel like I came up in a time, like I moved out to L.A. in 2001 from New York. So I went to Mississippi to school in Texas because my parents told me I had to stay below the Mason-Dixon lawn and I don't let you say to Texas if I wanted help with college. So I wanted to study acting. So I went to Southern Methodist University, which had like a good acting program. And then I got cast in a play right out of college. So I moved to Santa Maria, California and did plays there and insolving.

Oh, I've been insolving. Do you know they have that little theater? That's Swedish town, right? Yeah. So I was doing, yeah, or Danish, because they had Danishes or whatever. Okay. Oh, okay. I thought it was Swedish.

Good to know. I mean, I don't know. Who knows they could have some huge rivalry, the Swedes and the Danes. Of their, like, teeny tiny towns in California and, like, Central California. Yeah. And I was talking about coming up as a woman, though, like, in that time. And the way that, like, we loved watching, like, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, like, burn their lives to the ground on reality television and Anna Nicole Smith.

And, like, this is what we were watching. And we just, like, loved watching these women, like, destroy themselves for us, you know? And it was very not like we're pulling each other up and we're supporting each other. Like there's only one place at the table, bitch, so get the fuck out of my way. And I do feel that there's been a shift in that. And I don't think it's just because we're getting older and we realize that there's more space. I think women now, young women too, and girls are like, there's as much space for us as anyone else.

And if there's not, we'll build our own table, as they say. It's been like this for so long. but why are we all finding out about it at the, it feels like there's like a cascade of not, like, you know what I mean, that we're all finding out about it at the same time. But this has been happening for eons and hundreds of years, yet this feels like a turning point.

It's like a dump of information where women can't look away and women have finally looked at each other and been like, we're safe together. We're safer together than we are apart. And this whole divisiveness, what you're talking about, there's only room for one person at the table,

I can totally relate to that as a stand-up comedian coming up like 25 years ago in comedy. It was like there was never two girls. Yeah. There was always one girl, you know, and I was just like, what, you know, and women were out to get other women. And there definitely has been a shift because there's been an understanding now that like men are not trustworthy. Obviously not all men. I have to say this all the time because they're so sensitive. But, you know, women are now understanding that the tide rises together.

Like it's better for us to stick together. Yeah. So I wonder what that timing is. You know, like, what was the event that kind of like broke the dam of this knowledge? Or is this every generation? And it is it, you get to a certain age and you realize, oh, God, we've been fed all this garbage. Right.

You know, is it an age thing or is it something that's actually happening right now? Right. Yeah. I mean, the Me Too movement was such a big, like, cultural. Yeah. And then the repercussion of that was overturning Roe v. Wade, right? Yeah. That was their answer to that.

Right. Yeah. you want to bitch and moan about being sexually assaulted, then we're going to take away your rights. Yep. So I guess we're seeing it in real time. I feel like our generation, how old are you? I'm 46. If you don't mind my asking.

I'm 51. So I just feel like in our generation, we've been through so much. And it's not like, you know, I don't have a wonderful life and you have a wonderful life and you have a wonderful life. But it's just been so much of like, oh, it was very idyllic being young and unknowledgeable. It was kind of nice to not know about all of this. and then with the technology age, you know, we went from like, you know, we were there when there was no computer

and there was no cell phone. Right. I have my cell phone number. From when I was 19 years old, I have the same number. Yeah, same. 16. Yeah.

Happened. And then now we're dealing with, we're at the outset of AI, and you're like, we have to deal with another whole major shift. So it's a lot for us. And I wonder if every generation feels this way because certainly women in the 50s and 60s,

if they were as frustrated, well, the 50s more, 40s and 50s, they were as frustrated as we are, they surely didn't tell anybody about it or get organized. Yeah. About it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess there's a question of like safety and also like how it, like the patriarchal ideas like infuse themselves into your own brains.

So you can't even see what's going on when you're so inside of the system, you know. But my grandmother is 99 years old. She lives in Louisiana. Wow. And when I do get overwhelmed with like, no. No one's ever had it as bad as me. I'm like, oh, right, the depression. That was bad. That was bad. And, like, you know, going to war. And when people were, like, actually having to go to war and it's nice to, like, pull back and get a little bit of perspective and be like, there have always been issues, but maybe we just know about them more now because everyone has their own little news broadcasting system in their pocket. Telling you the worst things that are happening at every moment all the time. Although, so there's also so much. So, there's also so much. more history and knowledge available to us because of the technology age. And we have the context and it's not like, no, I don't want to imply that there weren't women doing things. Of course there

were. I mean, there was Gloria Steinem and before her. Obviously the list could go on and on. So there was obviously activists. But I guess now we're just, we have so much information about all the things that weren't told being told. And people are communicating. And I think that's actually going to end up in the long run being such a great thing, being able to have that kind of level of communication. You know what I mean? Because it's, even though there's so much false information, it's hard to be lied to when you have access to the truth. Right. Right. I know how to get to the truth. And media literacy to like note to check for the truth when you see something that's, yeah, to know that when a whale is jumping onto a sailboat that that's not real.

And that's AI. I'm like, is it not real? I mean, because whales like are eating people and then spitting them out. Like, I don't know what whales are doing. They're like salmon on and When I, did you ever read Moby Dick? I don't think I actually ever read. Okay, when I read Moby Dick, I was very young when I read it. My dad forced me to read it. And I, the whole time I was like, if whales are so smart, why aren't they fucking getting pissed off at all these people harpooning them? These guys are in these little narrow.

They are. Yes. Well, I was going to get to them. But they're in these little narrow boats, okay? And like the turn of the century or the late 1800s, they're in these little narrow boats. And they're going out with harpoons literally to get the oil from the whales, harpooning them. And I'm like, all the whales have to do is pop up. You know what I mean?

And tip them all over. And then they're fucked. And they don't do that. They don't do that. They don't do that. But now a hundred years later, now they're getting pissed off. And now they're like acting. So what's that, do you think?

I mean, there is a lot of evidence that animals can communicate with their young and even, like, tell them stories. Like, crows will do this. I believe that's true. For sure. Yeah. Someone will, like, there's this documentary where a guy puts on, like, a weird mask. And he's, like, mean to the crows.

And then. goes back several generations later and like the baby crows that were you know born after this knew that this person in this mask was a bad person like they communicate like they described this person to their young and like they knew that this was a bad person they'll hold a grudge yeah my dogs are even smarter my dog barks at crows in our backyard and I'm like you don't want to do that buddy you don't want to piss off a crew you could be training them to bring you money or shy things stop screaming at them yeah celebrate your pride with the station that says bold, vibrant and diverse as you are.

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Let's go. With IHart Pride Canada. 2%. That is the number of people who take the state. when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange, modern world.

I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress.

Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I went and sat on the little ottoman in front of him. I said, hi, Dad. And just when I said that, my mom comes out of the kitchen, and she says, I have some cookies and milk. This is a badass convict. Right. Just finished five years. I'm going to have cookies and milk at my mom.

On the senior show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations about recovery, resilience, and redemption. On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon Danny Trail to talk about addiction. transformation and the power of second chances. The entire season two is now available to binge featuring powerful conversations with the guests like Tiffany Addish, Johnny Knoxville, and more. I'm an alcoholic. And without this trouble, I'm going to die.

Open your free IHart radio app. Search the Cito Show. And listen now. This is Amy Roboc alongside T.J. Holmes from the Amy and T.J. podcast. And there is so much news. Information. coming at you all day and from all over the place.

What's fact, what's fake, and sometimes what the F. So let's cut the crap, okay? Follow the Amy and T.J. Podcast, a one-stop news and pop culture shop to get you caught up and on with your day. And listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm glad you're in therapy because we're therapists too. Oh, great. People call in and there's real people.

Okay, are you ready for advice? Do we need our headphones yet? Not quite yet because we're going to do a quickie first. So Marcia says, my best friend is overly cautious with her new baby. The baby's eight months old and they held her constantly for the first seven months of her life. Afraid if they didn't, she'd need a helmet. Like other than naps, they hold her. Once she called me, this is the friend, she once called me to hold the baby for 15 minutes

while she took a work call so she didn't put the baby down. They're also not taking her out of the house and have made plans with us multiple times. and canceled at the last minute because they're afraid of her getting a cold. Can I tell them they're being too extra? Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. You just have to every time, right? I mean, I'm happy to... Yeah, I think as a parent, you should go first.

So I had, like, pretty gnarly postpartum depression, and I didn't realize that that's what it was while it was happening. Actually, I guess as far as postpartum goes, mine wasn't that gnarly, but I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't want anyone to look at my baby. I didn't want anyone to touch my baby. I didn't want to leave the house. I felt like every time I stood up, I was going to like slip in breast milk and drop him and his head was going to explode like a watermelon.

Like these were the things. So I understand how the friend is feeling. And also having a 14 year old now, there comes a certain point where like you have to realize that you got to just let go a little and let this person become their own person, right? That like you can't be in control of whether they're going to get a cold or not for the rest of their lives. and you won't be able to make their decisions for them forever. So, I mean, I think it's maybe a little extra. But do you, what's your, like, yes, it's definitely extra. But what's your opinion on telling another parent about that?

I feel like especially now, it's like so taboo to say anything to anyone about parenting stuff. I mean, it's just frowned upon, I should say. Frowned upon. Is it? Yeah. I mean, because it's kind of individual. Like if you're willing to give somebody. advice or if you think you're just going to give out unsolicited advice, it's kind of like,

what's your vibe in the friendship? Like, yeah, it's definitely extra. It sounds ridiculous, but is it your place? Right. And also with all the postpartum stuff, like, I was going to say postpartum shit. I'm like, don't say that. With all the postpartum, like everyone, I mean, it's so much more common than anybody ever knew about because once again, it's a women's issue that nobody was discussing freely because there was shame around it and people felt like they were failing at doing something, which is being a mother, and nobody wants to talk about that because it has nothing to do with failing. It has to do with the hormonal imbalance and all the other things that come with that. So like what's the point? You know, they're going to figure it out at some point

that that that's too much or not necessary. Or they won't figure it out and you're just going to have to tolerate it. But I think also, I think being a really good friend is kind of tolerating people when they're at their lowest. But maybe also just being like, hey, I couldn't help but noticed that like you seem it seems scary to you to like leave the house with the baby. If I went with you somewhere, like can I go with you to like a place? Because that's what I had a doula who came after to help and a postpartum doula. And she was like, we're going to a restaurant today. And I was like, but what if somebody wants to look at my baby?

She's like, they can look at your baby. I'm like, but then what if they want to touch him? She's like, you're allowed to say, no, you can't, you can't touch my baby. It's your, he's your baby, you know. So maybe the friend could offer like if I just am noticing that it's hard for you to get out if I went with you. Is that something that you would be interested in? I like that I'm noticing language. Like that feels very gentle.

I like that. I think that feels very gentle. By the way, look how nice your legs look in the camera. This is a little off topic. But you went from postpartum 14 years later. Look at you now. She can't stop kicking. Well, kids are you kickboxing, right?

I do kickboxing. Yeah. Are you really? Are you into kickboxing? I love it. Really? Yeah. With a trainer.

Not with people who are like actually going to hit me in the face. Yeah. No, thank you. Do you get a lot? I know. I don't want to get hit in the face. I didn't even want, I was just in Istanbul and they were, there was, they were, they went him, the guy I was with wanted to go to Hamam.

And I was like, once I found out they splash water on you, he came back from the first one. He goes, I don't think you're going to like it. And I was like, why? And he's like, because they splash water on your face. I'm like, no, I don't like that. No, no, no. I want to splash my water on my face. Yeah.

And I don't even want to splash my own water on my. Don't touch my face. I don't want to be splashed at all. So I've been noticing. That's a good, that's a good advice. That's a good segue into advice all the time. Yeah. And to be like, here's a suggestion.

And if you don't want to take it, be like, okay. Yeah. I tried. Yeah. And especially now it's getting warmer. Maybe you guys in hang out outdoors together and like, you know, in the backyard. So it's open air, all that good stuff. Yeah.

We have some women who are just making some big life decisions. Oh, great. I love life decisions. This is really good. So our first caller is Kevin. and Kevin is she her. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 32-year-old single woman from the Pacific Northwest.

I've been boy crazy since I was five, and I was always in a relationship. Five. I hear you. I was always in a relationship throughout high school, college, and my 20s. I ended my last serious relationship, a five-year partnership in 2022. I moved back into my hometown and spent a long, messy period grieving with a few half-hearted flings along the way. Almost a year later, I'm finally feeling more like myself.

I'm motivated to date with intention, but I also know I get infatuated easily, so I'm easing back in by getting on a hinge and going out more. I'm in a very unfulfilling phase of my life right now. I'm living at home with my parents, working part-time as a barista, and trying to figure out where I belong career-wise as an ADHD millennial. I know I'm still young, but I'm scared of ending up in a job I hate, and I'm equally scared of getting stuck in my hometown where I have zero desire to settle. So right now, I just feel stuck. I want to get back into dating and being social, but it feels hard to do you. that authentically from where I'm currently at. So my question for Chelsea is, how do you tell the difference between fear and intuition when you're craving a big life change? And more specifically, am I avoiding dating in my hometown because I'm afraid it will root me here? Or is my intuition telling me that this isn't the right environment or the right version of myself to build a

relationship from, Kevin? Hi. Hi, Kevin. Hi, how's it going? Good. How are you? This is our special guest, Mary Elizabeth Ellis is here today. Hi, Kevin. Hi, nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. Fear, that's an interesting, fear and intuition. Like I, those two words don't correlate for me, but I get what you're saying. It was hard for me to figure out the words. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, well, I mean, it sounds like you're in a transitional phase in your life.

Yes, absolutely. I feel like I'm always in a transitional phase in my life. And so I'm just trying to figure out, like, how do I get out of the cycle? And I've just, I've already done so many different things before. So I was just like, do I want to go back to do what I know, go with what I know? or do I need to really like put myself out there and do something drastically different? I don't know. Okay, well, first things first.

A, I'm glad you're happy and safe and you live with your parents because everything's fine. Like, now you have, that's a great sound like jumping off board, you know? That's true. That's good. That's a good thing. Exactly. Yeah. From what you said about being infatuated with boys since you were five years old, I understand

what you mean by infatuation. And I think if you recognize that about yourself, this is a perfect moment for you to take a break from boys when you are in a transitional phase. It's like kind of like putting like gasoline on a fire, even though you're not in a fire. It's like you're adding something to the mix that doesn't need to be in the mix right now. You know what I mean? You should take this time, reclaim this time, use it to focus on yourself, use this time where you're not paying rent and you're figuring out what you're going to do career-wise and professionally and just take that all in. And like, you're so lucky you get to live with your parents during this time that can help you financially. You don't have to pay rent.

you know, you're safe again. Like these are all good things to like form a foundation for the next step that you do take. So I think you should figure out what makes you feel excited about the future. Like what are the job options for you? What have you done that you've loved? Not just like to get by. What actually like inspires you? Yeah.

It's so hard. I feel like there's so many different things that inspire me. And I love to do, I like to do different things. I like to keep it interesting. I get very sick and tired of doing the same thing all over and over again. So, like, right now I'm a part-time barista, and I love doing that, but only part-time. If after, like, yesterday was my Friday, and I was already, like, at my woods ends with everyone. My social battery is so low.

And so I'm like, this is great. I love that. It's a job that I can enjoy, but I like being able to do something else to kind of refill my, I guess, my desires and inspirations. And so that's what that was always event planning. And so I've jumped around different event planning jobs with like catering. But that's also kind of an industry. I kind of want to get away from. But there's still so many aspects from it that I want to still do, like creating and planning.

I'm up for a position at the dealership that I work at. I work inside a dealership where there's a cafe. It's a weird setup. Like a car dealership? What kind of dealership? Yeah. A toy in a dealership. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's like it's right off the freeway. We have like tons of people coming in. And there's no breakfast places in our town either. So a lot of regulars come in. And so that's always really fun. And then there's a position available where I could be kind of like an executive admin and be also like their like employee relations manager and plan like their holiday parties or plan like other like social and like employee engagements and also get involved like marketing and other like community events. So I've always been interested in like event planning in some sort of or like production managing and some.

in some way or form to, like, bring people together. So that's always what's inspired me is I've always kind of considered myself, like, I want to be, like, the soccer mom of a company. But I feel like that's a very, very specific, very hard position to find. It's kind of like, I feel like those type of positions are created for someone that is already like in, you know, the place that they work at or they like have someone that they know they can fill that role. So that one is kind of up in the air.

But also, I'm also scared of if I take that position, am I going to get stuck at my hometown? No, is there a position that is available to you that already has those things or that doesn't exist yet in your hometown? Not really. This is like the only position that's closest to what I'm kind of what I'm interested in doing. I mean, to me, that sounds like a position that's something that you create for yourself. Like starting the word, I'm starting an event planning company sort of thing. And then also focus on the parts of it you like that are creative, that are moving the project forward, that are organizational.

And then when you run into things that are not in your wheelhouse or you find very draining, that's when you bring in somebody else, even on a really part-time basis to help you with those projects. And it can be like a project-to-project basis as well. And this is a good place for you to like feel out if you really love it because you are living at home and you do have some flexibility. And then if you do want to continue doing that, you can, you know, take that to the town that you actually want to be living in. And you've already established a company, a rapport, that sort of thing, your systems, all that. Yeah. I have a couple friends that have said I should start my own business. And so that's kind of like, I've always thought I'm doing that. I always thought I'd do that way later in life after I had family and kids, but I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have kids yet. So it's like, well, I'm not just doing it right now. I do this opportunity of living at home for free. But I guess that's kind of like, am I holding myself back? Am I kind of scared to do it because I want to fall in love with it? Or is it something that I should just go for and what's the worst that could happen? Yeah. I think if you have the ability to take a big leap in what you're passionate about and you don't have any financial constraints in the

moment because you have the situation, you should take it. Like, I can see your ADHD at work. Like, you need a lot of things to keep you occupied. And that's a good thing. That's not a negative. That means you can pay attention to a lot of different things at the same time. That's why you have a lot of different interests. And that's why you can go work as a barista like that and also want to event coordinate. But you could also, there's also options like if you like event coordinating or like you say you want to be like, you know, the soccer mom of a company. Like, if you're a wedding planner, you're dealing with different clients all the time. So like, that's kind of even more fun for somebody with a brain like yours. You know what I mean? Because you're not dealing with

the same people over and over again. Or if you're planning events, like, I don't know, whatever, bat mitzvah, sweet 16s, whatever kind of like, you know, event planning a company that you get in bed with, you can, then you kind of keep the ball rolling. You know what I mean? Being at one company and planning events for one company, I feel like might get boring for you. And that's what I thought I wanted. But now that you're, the way you're describing it's like, maybe I will get bored of it. So I don't know. And like I have done weddings.

I've helped with weddings for years. And I have a very love-hate relationship with weddings. But something like of that nature, like maybe working for like multiple different companies and doing like different projects for them, I guess. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah. I want to circle back to to the dating question. Like does I feel like dating is something that she should put a pin in for now? I think you should focus on your career.

I really think the most important thing for young women to do is to stop worrying about who you're going to end up with. You're going to find that person. There's a million people in this world. I mean, there's 9 billion people, actually, in this world. You're going to find somebody, and there's plenty of them to go around. You're going to have several different loves in your life. That will happen. You'll probably have several different careers in your life, too.

I just want to name the, since you're talking about naming things, that idea of being stuck, life is nothing but change. So you probably won't get stuck somewhere if you're the type of person who doesn't want to get stuck somewhere. You'll be able to get yourself into a new thing that makes you excited no matter where you land. And most people change jobs and a lot of people change relationships throughout their life. Yeah. That's good advice. Yeah. So you don't have to land there now and like feel like you're in cement, you know. But you know, like take steps in like one direction. Use like the energy and like the motivation that you have right now, harness that, and move in the direction of either starting your own company or, you know, doing some outreach to the people that you do know saying,

hey, I'm starting this thing where I'm going to put events together. It could be for company, it could be for a bridal shower, it could be for whatever, you know, like create, start taking steps to create that for yourself and see if that's something that fulfills you and that you can get off on its feet while you live with your parents. And in the meantime, keep your barista job, so you have some sort of income, you know, and then like you're going to learn so much so quickly with whatever choice you make about what you like and what you don't like.

So just have faith in yourself, you know, like that you're capable and that you can do this and what your interests are. The most important thing is to know what you're interested in and you have a lot of interests. You just said them all. Yeah, yeah. Definitely.

Yeah. I think that's a great way to put it. Thank you so much. So don't look at everything as like a negative. Like just flip the switch on it. And literally like flip the switch. script. You're like, oh, I could do anything I want. The world is my oyster. I'm living with my parents. This is my opportunity of a lifetime to go after what you want. Thank you so much, Chelsea.

Appreciate it. All right. Okay. Thank you. Have fun. It definitely makes me feel a lot better about my position. Thank you guys. Nice to meet you all. Nice to meet you too. Bye. Bye. I remember growing up when I moved to L.A. and thinking, I was like, I just wanted to live with my parents again. And I didn't want to live with them the entire 18 years that I did. I didn't want anything to do with my parents. And as soon as I got to LA, I'm like, it would really be nice to live with my parents. It's so funny how that happens. Yeah. Gras is always greener. I also think that like 27 to 35, even, like early 30s, it's such a, you put so much pressure on yourself to like get to the thing. Yeah. And it's like okay to just be like, it is a transitional period. You always say this. Like,

things never stay the same. They never stay the way they are. And so, yeah. Even the good things and the bad things. They don't stay the same. And once you realize that, you're like, you just, that has to be like a mantra, I think, that people tell themselves because people get so worried about being stuck or like, what if I'm, I remember when I was waiting tables before, like, I became successful, I would just think, what if I'm a waitress forever? What if I'm a waitress forever? What if I'm a waitress when I'm 40? What if I'm a waitress when I'm 50? You know, like, I was like, what do I do that? What's going to happen then? And it's like, that narrative, it becomes kind of like, like, pathological. And then you're telling yourself this like negative story for no reason.

There's no proof that you're going to be doing this forever. Just like there's no proof that you're not going to be doing this forever. It could go anyway. It's like, yeah. Well, our next caller is Dominique, and she says, dear Chelsea, I'm 29, and I'm writing from a big moment of transition. And this next line is just like sort of weird coincidence, but she says, I've spent the last nine years building a career in events.

I'm good at it. I've worked hard, and on paper, it all makes sense. But lately I feel stalled, like I've reached the edge of what this version of my life can offer, unless I've been. I either expand it radically or walk away. At the same time, I'm newly married and staring down a parallel question that feels just as existential. Do I double down on ambition or do I step into motherhood, knowing that either choice reshapes

everything? How do you know when it's time to outgrow a life you built with care instead of clinging to it because it's familiar? And how do you make big life decisions when there's no obvious right order to do things? Dominique. Oh, wow. Complex. Hi, Dominique.

Can you expand a little bit on your career? Like, what do you do and where are you where that? So I work in event marketing and I started, you know, doing tours for like bands in like the Christian music world and then did like philanthropic stuff. And now I'm in like the corporate kind of event marketing space where I do, you know, events for people who use certain products or digital products. I get to travel a lot. I built something really cool from like I don't have a college degree, which is awesome. And so that's where I'm at. I'm just trying to figure out whether I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm in the constant state

of like grow or die. Like if I'm not, you know, keep, if I'm not like, you know, growing constantly, I'm like, okay, something next, something new is up. So that's kind of where I'm at. And do you feel, maybe we should put her in contact with her last caller because she could just take over your business if you're not interested anymore. Our last caller was like trying to start an events planning business. And we were like, yeah, go for it.

So it might be nice to chat with her until we're experiencing. Yeah, we might want to, make Catherine may want to connect you afterward. just in case you need some help. But I mean... That's so funny. First of all, like that... I like your growth mindset, but like not every period

is a period of growth. Sometimes you are just kind of like hunkering down with what you have. Like there's a planting and there's a harvest. And sometimes you're planting and then sometimes you're harvesting. And that's like you don't always have to feel like we live in the society that makes us feel like

we have to run around in circles to get shit done or to be productive. But there is a lot of strength in just enjoying what you've built. It sounds like you've built a pretty great business for yourself. So, and I, I guess my next question is, why would becoming a mother? Why is there a choice between the two? Do you think that you can't do both? I think it's definitely harder. And I definitely, you know, when I choose to become a mother, it's like I want to be all into that. So I feel like what I'm building in my career will definitely take the backseat to like, you know, growing a person and

being involved in their lives and every aspect of that. So it's, maybe not it's one or the other, but one will definitely take a back seat. You know what I'm saying? Well, then we should definitely introduce her to the woman we were just talking to because she can run your business. She can help run your business. I don't want you as a woman and as a black woman to build a business and then just give up on it.

I just don't want that for you. I want you to be able to do all of this. And you can. You can do all of this. And you can start a family and do that too. Yeah. And you're right. Like one thing takes a back seat for a little while.

Like when you're pregnant, you can do both things pretty easy. But then when the baby comes out, you normally want like some time to like nest and be home. But then also when I had a newborn, I was like, oh my God, is this who I am? A mother? I don't only want to be a mother. I still want to be an actor. I still want to be a professional, you know? And then I got a chance to do that again. So yeah, I think it's true. There's seasons to things. But there's space for everything. Yeah, there is space for everything. And I think I would hate for you to have a child, go 100% into that and then go, I can't believe. I don't have my business anymore. You know, when you do need some time to yourself, when you do need some different identity other than just mom or wife, you're going to look back and be like, what my God, you had a robust business. Like, please don't give up on that aspect. Like, I think that is really like the paramount issue here. You built something that you're proud of. And we are going to put you in touch with this other woman we just spoke to, whether it's a match or not, you're going to find somebody to help you run your business so that you can get ready for the next phase.

of your life, which is motherhood, whenever you feel that's ready. But you have to find like kind of a business partner. And they don't have to be like 50-50 partner because you did build this business. So it's yours. But somebody that you can hire that can help manage things is not an unreasonable thing to do. So yeah, I really just want to get you away from that thinking. It's not one or the other. It's how do I do it all? Because we can do more than one thing at the same time. And remembering that you don't have to make the decision for the end point. Like as you go down the path, you'll get new information. And as new information comes in, then you get to make a different decision based on, oh, I didn't even see that part. Now here's this new part, you know.

Yeah. And how long have you been married, Dominique? I've been married a year in May, this May. So, okay. So you got time. You've got time to just enjoy being married. But enjoy your success. Like, that's really important. Like, independent women and business, like, creators, like, people who are business owners, like that is very viable and valuable. So I just like, don't just be ready to toss that aside. You know what I mean? It's important what you've done. And so take your time, enjoy it, and then just look for options. I get you want to grow your business. That doesn't have to happen every six months. It happens over a long period of time. So it sounds like you already know what you're doing and that your life is pretty good. So just figure out ways to make it even better and do all the things that you want.

do all the things. I got it. That's all. That's great advice, actually. And it's good to just maybe sit back or to hang tight and be like, okay, I've done this. Just maybe chill for a minute. Just, you know, rubble in for a second. So thank you. I appreciate that. The best periods of my professional and personal life are when I've come back from breaks. When I've come back from running on a hamster wheel. When I've said, this is enough, I'm getting out of here. I have to stop it. I have to take a time out. When I come back from that are the best biggest growth spurts and like successes. So keep that in mind. You know, you don't always have to be running like this. Totally. Okay. That's great advice. Great. I'm glad you called in Dominique. Yes. Thank you guys so much.

I was saying this even just yesterday to Charlie like or it might have been this morning. Like, it's so nice to get like a little bit older and not feel like I have to have that hustle that I had when I was in 20s and my 30s, you know? Yeah, and I like what you said about, you're always getting new information and not setting an end point because I think as a young person, we're so attached to the outcome of things. That's why defeats or failures or what we categorize as such feel so much bigger than they actually are is because we are so tied to the outcome of success. Like that's the definition. Like this, if I get this, this will, then that will mean that. Or if I'm with. this guy, you know, like, or even like a breakup can feel like such a big failure. And it's like, as you get older, you realize like, it's really all depends on how you handle those failures.

It really has nothing to do with the failure itself. It's like, what do you do after the failure? And it's that like pullback too, right? Of like, like, you think you're like in a low point, but actually you've climbed this high on the mountain and you're just in a little dip before you keep going up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Cynthia Lois and I'm Josie Dye. And we're done pretending we have it all figured out. Each week we laugh, cry, and talk our way through life's messiest moments. The things you think about but would never say out loud. The questions you are always too shy to ask.

Relationships, regrets, awkward moments, and the stuff no one warns you about. It's honest, it's funny, and sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable. But that's kind of the point. This is Cynthia and Josie's Unmentionables. Listen on the free IHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness,

fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry. We really believe that seed oils were inunders. inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress.

Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I wouldn't stand on the little ottoman in front of him. And I was, hi, Dad.

And just when I said that, my mom comes out of the kitchen. And she says, I have some cookies and milk. This is a badass convict. Right. Just finished five years. I'm going to have cookies and milk at mom. Yeah. On the senior show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations

about recovery, resilience, and redemption. On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon, Danny Trail to talk about addiction, transformation, and the power of second chances. The entire season two is now available to bench, featuring powerful conversations with the guests like Tiffany Addish, Johnny Knoxville, and more. I'm an alcoholic. And without this trouble, I'm going to die. Open your free IHAR radio app.

Search the Cito Show. And listen now. This is Amy Rovock alongside T.J. Holmes from the Amy and T.J. podcast. And there is so much. news, information, commentary coming at you all day and from all over the place. What's fact? What's fake? And sometimes what the F. So let's cut the crap, okay? Follow the Amy and T.J. podcast, a one-stop news and pop culture shop to get you caught up and on with your day. And listen to Amy and T.J. on the Iheart

radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Okay. Do we have a closing? We do. A little whoopsie, do close with? It is a little whoopsie, it's a little bit of a heavier one. It's a little bit of a heavier one. But because you're on this show, which tackles so much of the sandwich generation stuff, with like moms and, you know, dads too, parents who have their kids, their kids' lives, their own lives, work, and then also taking care of an aging parent, I thought this would be a good question. So Jody says, dear Chelsea, my husband is one of three sons, all of whom are married and live somewhat far from

parents. We're the closest two hours away. We see each other fairly frequently, but with kids and activities and lives, it's tough. It became clear years ago that my mother-in-law's health was declining. Specifically, we were noticing signs of what we were concerned could be a dementia. Forgetting things, using the wrong names for people, walking into the wrong house. She began having issues driving, hitting mailboxes and curbs, and then about two years ago, she totaled her car by hitting a guardrail. Luckily, no one was hurt. While we all knew something was happening, my father-in-law has been in denial. He constantly downplays her symptoms and even refused to stop her from driving for almost a year following the accident.

Thankfully, she's now stopped. Things have gotten much worse this past year to the point where he can't deny something is wrong. She falls regularly. She can't really walk on her own without help. Every time we see her, she's got a bruiser or a scrape from a fall, and she can never tell us how it happened, and he only sometimes can. We've all come to terms with the fact that she has somewhat some advanced neurologic diagnosis, but we don't know what because he hasn't taken her to the doctor.

This has been sad to acknowledge, but our biggest concern is both of their safety. Any advice on how to push for acceptance and help with a boomer who's very unwilling to acknowledge or accept help? Jody. Yeah, you have to take her to the doctor yourself. Yeah. You got to get in there and take her to the doctor and intervene. He's not going to do it.

He's in denial. And men are useless. So you have to go in and do that. You have to get your brothers together in solidarity or do it yourself. But take her to the doctor for a diagnosis. That's it. And like, sorry, Dad. you're not acting responsibly right now and you're in denial.

And this is dangerous now where I'm concerned about my mother's safety and I'm concerned about your safety. Yeah. And I would also potentially reach out to either an elder law attorney or someone who works in like health care for the aging because they would be able to give you some tools and stuff in your state. It may be time for like a guardianship or conservatorship, something like that. Maybe time for them to move to like an assisted living where, you know, he can have

some help with activities of daily living. She can have a lot more help, whatever they need. But definitely start reaching out to. someone in your community who is able to give you some answers about laws and regulations and things in your state. Yeah, but get the ball rolling on getting a diagnosis also. Like, that's first and foremost, find out what the diagnosis is. And then you have proof of a reason why they need to move into an assisted living facility or a retirement community. But yeah, that's very common that people are in denial about their spouses like decline. Yes, agreed. And if it's your, it's your husband's

mother and their three sons, I agree, make the sons get together and tell them it's what they're meant to do. They have to do it. It's their job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, on that upbeat note, we are wrapping it up. Thank you so much for being here. It was wonderful to meet you. Yeah, you too. So fun. Thanks for having me. Yeah. What a pleasure. And thanks for showing off your sporty spice legs. Thank you. That makes me one of wear shorts. I feel like people are like, oh, you look good. And I'm like, I'm strong. Yeah. I'm half strong. Yeah. I could. Well, you're a kickboxer, so you are strong. You can catch Mary Elizabeth Ellis on her show,

a man on the inside. You can catch her in. It's always sunny in Philadelphia. And, of course, new girl. If you're watching, that show's been... Yeah, that's an old... That's an old one. That's an old show.

But if you could be watching... You could be watching reruns of it. I don't know what you're watching. Maybe she's watching reruns across the street. Who knows? Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at Gmail. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law.

Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. 2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. And on my podcast, 2%. I break down the signs of mental toughness,

fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWA% on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Saturday, May 2nd, country's biggest stars will be in Austin, Texas. at our 2026 I Hard Country Festival presented by Capital One. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours before they sell out at Ticketmaster.com. That's Ticketmaster.com. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast, Eating While Broke,

is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer, Zoh Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum-Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to communities thriving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they failed. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey there, folks, Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes here.

And we know there is a lot of news coming at you these days from the war with Iran to the ongoing Epstein fallout, government shutdowns, high-profile trials. and what the hell is that Blake lively thing about anyway. We are on it every day, all day. Follow us, Amy and TJ for news updates throughout the day. Listen to Amy and TJ on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.