Dear Chelsea - Retirement? with Anna Faris

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Anna Faris joins Chelsea to talk about processing the loss of her home in the fires last year, parenting when your kid wants to convert you, and why she left her mega-popular podcast.  Then: A happily married man realizes he and his husband never leave the house. And a mom of two struggles when she moves in with her MIL.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets this Friday at 10 a.m.

at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour all over again. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to serve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought. opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Listen to pro society on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the high and mighty tour. In September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there.

And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets at Chelseahandler.com for the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hello, hello, Chelsea. Hello, Kathleen and Catherine. I woke up and saw that Hayden Panetteer passed away. And I was like, I had her book in my suitcase because we were supposed to interview her like when I came back from my vacation.

Yeah, in like 10 days or something. Yeah. And so that was really, really fucking sad to see. I know. It's really sad. And it's just the fact that she was only 36 and she'd already like accomplished so much in her life. It really stuck out to me. I'm like, oh my gosh, she had two huge shows.

She did all these movies and stuff. And, like, she was only 36. But also it's like, you know, she did this whole press tour for the book coming out, right? We were going to do something with her down the road, like, so we can talk about the response everybody had to the book and how that impacted her. But, like, you know, you go through all this shit. You kind of feel like people solve their problems or when they're talking about it somehow there's, like, this magic potion. And, like, that's just not the way it is. It's like people's problems aren't solved just because they're doing a press tour about a book that they wrote about the problems, that they're

doesn't mean they're good. They could be, you know, in many cases they are, but in many cases they're not. Like, she just seemed, even when she was doing her press, something didn't seem right, you know? I know. And it's just like, it's just, and she's got a kid and like, like, it just makes me so angry. And I know it's not just this town and this industry, but it makes me so mad that, that these people don't have the support that they need, that when a woman who has postpartum, like, you know, asks for help. you know, unless you have real people in your life that really care about you. I'm not saying she didn't.

Of course she did. I'm sure she did. I'm sure she is family. But it's like you really have to keep an eye on people when they say they have, they need help. Right. Like when someone asks for help, don't leave them. Like until they tell you they're okay. And you know, and you know that they're okay because clearly she wasn't.

And I mean, I don't know. I guess we'll find out what happened. But, you know, I can also connect the dots. Yeah, I know. It's just so sad. And you're right. It's like if you're concerned about a friend, like, keep after them. Absolutely. I think people like don't reach out for help a lot of times until like things are really, really serious. When they are reaching out for help, like you got to get to stick with them. Yeah. And also people can overcome bad stuff. Like I have a lot of friends in my life that have been through,

myself included, that have been through rough times and like we've come out of it. And like I've come out of it because of people because of therapy because of talking to people and also just showing up for your friends is a major deal and and like sometimes you think about people who are going through something hard as like oh they're annoying or it's a pain in the ass to deal with them and it's like no no no no that person is suffering so like go in and double down don't back off because they're a burden you've got to go in and try to help and like I know not everybody yeah so that's how I feel about that absolutely Mad. Yeah, and I am sure she had family and friends that loved her and did everything they could,

but this is just a reminder if you're in this situation to do everything you can for your friend. Yeah. Well, transitioning to a lighter topic as we go into our interview today, you are somewhere lovely right now. I am. I'm in my Spanish. I'm practicing. I'm practicing. I'm practicing a Spanish new. All, all the Spanish, that I saw, or that I used, I'm using with all the people. Oh, very good. Very well.

I just came back from a big bicycle ride, and I'm pretty sure I have heat stroke, so I'm a little bit not on it. I'm like, I need a frozen-daccarry stat. Yes, absolutely. Have you been in the ocean yet? No, I have not yet. been in the ocean. I've been in everything else but the ocean. So that's calling me. I know it's like so nice and juicy out there. You've got this nice big bay and it's beautiful.

I know. Excuse me. I just can't stop sleeping. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Yeah, you go into recovery mode. But who do you, I know you're there for a couple weeks. Who all do you have coming to visit? Anybody fun? Oh, lots of different people. Yeah. Well, lots of different people. But I don't want to draw too much attention to the fact that I'm here because when I pulled up yesterday, there were three girls outside. I'm side my house taking photos of it. No. I think I'm really, which I love. But, you know, I'm also like, wait, what? No.

They're like, oh my God, you're here. We knew this is your house. And I'm like, oh, no. And then I'm like, oh, hi, girls. But, you know, like, you know. No, the Americans have discovered. New York. America, more because of me, my problem.

More Americans in my Oregon this year than ever before. I'm going to have to find another place to go hide myself. You can stop talking about it. You're like, my York is over. I'm moving away. And then you don't. I can't shut the fuck up even when I want to. Okay, so this week we have, oh, you know, I saw Damon Wayne's last week that this is related to our guess.

Oh, absolutely. At the comedy store, I was doing sets last week in Los Angeles. My next stand-up date is Santa Barbara September 18th and then San Diego September 19th. And then I'm coming to Philly and Pittsburgh and all the fun places. But anyway, Yamanika's with me here in Spain also, so that's fun. She's never been here before her and her eyes are ba, blah, blah, bulging. I keep taking videos of her taking in all the scenery. It's pretty cute.

Our guest this week is in a, in Scary Movie, Six. Six. Scary movie Seis, created by Damon Waynes and the Wayne's brothers. That's why I brought Damon up. I was so fun to see him the other night. And you know her from Mom. Oh, and she's in that new movie with Michelle Bito and Ila and Leslie Mann. Spa Weekend.

Spa weekend. Please welcome Anna Ferris. One of the joys of being an adult for me personally is, being able to light a joint in my own house, or if one of my friends is having a cigarette, that they're allowed to smoke it inside my house, obviously with the doors open, because I don't want my house smelling like cigarettes, but I do want my house smelling like marijuana. And so when that, that is something that is nice to be able to bring a cocktail up to your bedroom. For me, I like all of that freedom. Like, I like to exercise my right to party as an adult single woman

with no parents living with me. What are the other gifts of aging, Chelsea? I think wisdom and confidence. It gets more and more. You get more and more, you have more wisdom because you have more experience to draw from. I love those glasses. You do? Are they new?

No. No, they are not new. They're actually one of the very few things that I took with me right before a house burnt down. Burned down in the palisades. Yeah. Oh, God. I was really, I was a very, I was very poor at a very, evacuating. Like I did not do a great job. Well, it's kind of, yeah, something that not many people

are prepared to do. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so thank you for they are, I treat them like shit for them being one of the few things, one of the few relics. Yeah, you've got to take good care of those. I know. So where did you go when you let? I'm so sorry about your house. Oh, thanks. We went to my in-laws down, who lived down in Palis Verdes. You know, the idea I think of I really leaned into gratitude in an obnoxious way, I think. But after, it felt like there's two roads you can take. Your hand is forced when your house burns down in the sense of like you, you can lean into like the bitterness and divorce and anger. Or you can be like, fuck.

Okay. I appreciate this pair of scissors. I appreciate, like, you know. I think what you're saying is really beautiful. I think in times like when you are at your lowest, that if you can be grateful for the most mundane things or the minutia in life, just be grateful that you're safe even though your house is gone.

I mean, I've never had a house burn down, so I don't even want to pretend like I know how devastating that must be. but I can understand really digging in your darkest hour for some sort of light making a lot of sense. It's not like a grief like the loss of a pet or the loss of a close one or something. It's not a death. It's more like a million different winces. Like you wince. You spend like the first six months remembering that thing that you had.

and that happens like a thousand times a day so much so and you can't bring it up all the time it's obnoxious i suppose but and there's nothing to be done so i was at a point in my life when i was kind of feeling that la that my career was like i was kind of being put out to pasture a little bit you know i didn't know what my ambition this is before the house burnt down Like I didn't know, I'd worked on mom for seven seasons. I didn't know where I stood, what opportunity there was. And I didn't know, I think when I was younger, it felt my ambition would kick in, my survival instinct.

So that and the house bunny was born of that. I was at a point around age 47, 46, 47, 48, where I was disturbed. by my lack of ambition, I was, in hindsight, I think pretty depressed, like premenopausal depression without recognizing it. And I was just having a distant relationship with this city and my career and wondering if I had enough money to retire. Oh, wow. You know? Yeah, no, I think that's not an unnatural or uncommon feeling.

Like I think a lot of people in this industry, myself included, have had periods of time where you thought, like, should I just get out of here? Yeah. So I'm kind of going through this stuff. The house burns down. And I had had the gig. I had already been cast in the role of Sophie in Spa Weekend. So I knew I was lucky enough to know that that was going to be happening when the house burnt down like three weeks later. So we stayed with my in-law.

and then left for Australia where we shot the movie. And it was incredible. It was incredible to have that job. I still, it didn't make me feel like I was having a career resurgence necessarily. It felt like a great gig, but it didn't, I just didn't. You know, I'm always hedging my bets. Although you wouldn't always know it, by the way I behave. But so I'm there in Australia on the Gold Coast with three incredible women.

making this really fun hysterical movie. It was so good for me. It was such a beautiful place to be. And we had this lovely apartment. It turns out there was like a bunch of productions happening. This isn't all that interesting. Anyway. But movie stars Michelle Boutot, Leslie Mann and Ila Fisher.

And you. And me. The four of you on a spa weekend with one very chaotic friend. We don't know who the chaotic friend is. Yes. Should I tell you? Sure. Isla.

Isla is the chaotic friend. Isla is the chaotic friend. Okay, I love that. She is so brilliant. All of the women are brilliant. And I truly, it was so incredible to be shooting on the beach, you know, with like the beautiful Australian weather. Like to be so far away from the chaos, the red tape of back home, the decision making of. of the immediate decision-making of what happens when you lose your home.

So I was in this kind of surreal, blissful state getting to make this movie with these three incredible women, still feeling kind of like the town, this is still part of a slow retirement idea. Then Marlon Wayans called and he said, we got our franchise back. Would you be a part of scary movie? And it felt I suddenly, I had this rush of like, what if my destiny hasn't quite forged itself in slow aging actress retirement?

What if? What if you haven't seen the best of it? Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It was a very wonderful and heady year for me. Wow. Yeah.

It was. I like that line of thinking because I think that's a great way to look at everything. like when you hear women and actually in this business talking about getting older, it's like, oh, there's like, you know, there's this kind of idea of an expiration date once you hit 40 and then you see women. But it's, things are different now. Like, once you hit 40, you're no longer relevant. Well, I'm 51.

How old are you now? 49. 49. Okay. Like, you actually can have all of these things happen to you at a later date. You can actually have the biggest peak of your career. at a later date. I love it.

Yeah. So just because it hasn't happened in the time frame you thought it was going to happen doesn't mean it's not going to happen. I feel more confident in what I have to offer. Right. Yes. Which might not be, I don't know, for a wide audience, but I feel more solid in my own ability. I wish I had kind of realized that earlier.

Yeah, I think that's a coming of age moment too. Everyone always keeps asking me like what it's like to be 50. What's the difference? And it's like that is the difference. The confidence in your own capability. And the no, like if you're hired to do something, you're going to go nail it and hit it out of the park. Like that's what you do. And you have done it enough times to have enough proof that that's what the formula is. Making scary movie and being a part of that whole thing has. been such a bow tie on like a triumph of that chapter in my life mentally. Because when I got cast in scary movie, it was my first audition in L.A. I'd never done anything comedic. I wasn't expecting to be successful in L.A. I decided to move here because I fell in love, developed a huge crush or whatever that was on a dude and wanted to dip my toe in. And I got cast immediately in a comedy, which was something I had never done. I thought I was going to get fired. I remember being so anxious, so nervous, and not having any idea of what every moment meant for my future.

Like, how defining is this going to be? what does this? I didn't know. And I spent, I think, the first five years in L.A. feeling that way that, well, this isn't my place. I'm not a comedian. And I think I'm supposed to have, like, I felt like the best I could hope for was maybe like I would play the neighbor on some mediocre show or, like, I didn't, I did not have

stars in my eyes at all. But did you think you were going to be an actor? Or did you just do that only because you? You were following this guy to L.A. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. And what's he doing these days?

We divorced. He was my first marriage. Oh, that was your first husband. Uh-huh. Okay. And was he an actor? Yeah. Okay.

Is he still an actor? I don't know. No, I doubt it. Probably not then. Probably not. Yeah. We don't keep in touch. I don't even know if I would recognize him.

Do you have an ex like that you're? Probably. I mean, an ex. I have many people in my life that I wouldn't recognize after. I agree with you. You know what I mean? But I think we're strange in that way. I don't think so.

Okay. I don't think so. I mean, not related to like drinking or partying, just related to, like, there's been so many people in my life. Yeah. But if you were married to him, that's a little different. I know that's true. So you probably would recognize him. I think so.

I mean, if you were married to somebody and didn't recognize him, that's a great plot for a movie. Yeah. Yes, that's true. That is like, you know you're a narcissist. I didn't realize. I didn't realize that you had been married. So you've been married three times. Yeah.

So the third time is a charm. Yes. Right. Because you guys have been married for, what, 13 years? No, we've been married for, we got married in 2021, 2021. No, not 13 years. No, not 13 years. We've been together for almost 10 years.

Okay. Yes, I think I needed to, as lame as it sounds, I needed to understand how I wanted to be loved, how I received love. I don't think I did. that very well. Yeah, I think that's not uncommon either. I think we all, I mean, what was your childhood like? Like, did you have a good, like, time as a kid? Were you happy? No, I wouldn't say that. No. Yeah. I guess it's pretty uncommon. I mean, I had a very traumatizing childhood, but it was also very happy. Like, there was a lot of laughter and a lot of joy and a lot of heightened emotions, I should say, in every aspect. So while there was like bad times and neglect, you know,

lack, there was also lots of joy. And so it's kind of like, I don't know, I don't, I wonder, is that how you feel about your childhood? Do you look at it like that? Like, it's a mixed bag? Or do you look at it as like a whole? Yeah, yeah. But I also think I was defined by a few things, having a big older brother. I know you and I have little sister, whatever that is in us. It's like the shin kicking. We're the shin kickers. Well, like we can take a beating. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. It's definitely made, it's defined elements of my personality in terms of like,

self-sufficiency, I think. Are you, yeah, like, are tough. Do you think you're tough because of that? Yeah. I think, yeah. I think. Do you have thick skin because of that? I wouldn't say I have thick skin, but I would say that you could push me around and I'll take it. Yeah. I'm easily push around a bowl. I choose my battles for sure. The Jonas Brothers are running it back.

We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets this Friday at 10 a.m. at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with the listening. on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first one, trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So you have discernment about choosing your battles. Yeah. And I don't always take the bait. And I think sometimes that gets perceived as being kind of a pushover a week, which yeah, could be that as well. Okay. But I do think that like if someone treats you poorly,

like a director or someone treats you poorly, are you able to defend yourself in that moment? or stand up for yourself? Barely. Barely. I think that when I, like the early 2000s was a pretty intense time. I mean, I didn't know it. I didn't know anything other than my experience because I had, I didn't know anybody in the industry. So I had no, I hadn't even been on like a large set. Like I, I really was, every moment was pretty new to me. So when, Looking back, I do think that the scary movie and doing the comedies that I did during that time, it was tough. I don't know what the dramatic side was like, but I do think it was surprising to me that the comedic sets that I was on seemed to be filled with misery and anger, you know?

that the comedic world was a place of how would you possibly know if anything was funny if everyone is just pissed off. Right. And ego driven and like... Yeah, that is pretty ironic. So I came up with this idea of my position in a movie was like the bounce card. Like I was like making a dude look funnier. or I wasn't quite sure.

And I didn't ever feel hot enough to be that girl. Really? Yeah. What about in House Bunny? I was starting to, I mean, that was different because that was actually very empowering and for a multitude of reasons. The writers of Legally Blonde, Karen and Kiwi, asked if they could meet with me. So we had coffee and they said, do you have any characters you're interested in playing?

And at the time, I'd been watching girls next door. And I thought, what happens to like the lower echelon playboy bunny who, she's not a girlfriend. She's not that, you know, she's just like there in the bunk house or whatever. And she's, but she's getting too old. She doesn't have an education. She didn't land the rich husband. What is she going to do when she has to move on? And that movie came from that conversation.

I pitched to them. I said, what if she's a meth addict that has to go back to her religious southern town? And here I was thinking that this is somehow like, this will be my dramatic turn. And they were nodding and they were like, oh, she could become a house. Mom at a sorority or something. Yeah. Anyway. But I do, I am appreciating this time of getting older.

And I am proud of myself for leaning into the positives, which there are a multitude of. Yeah. And truly getting to revisit scary movie, getting to act with those guys again in this completely different place in my life. Right. Felt incredible. Like, the last time I had acted with them was Scary Movie 2. The last time I saw them was in 2001 promoting Scary Movie 2.

And I just remember all that time being so terrified, just so scared, just so intimidated. So just like, I'm a stranger and a stranger. Strangeland. Just by their whole, like, kind of world that they had built on that set because they've been doing it so for so long? Yeah. Yeah. And my, like, not believing that I was funny.

When I auditioned for Scary Movie, so I sent in a tape, I had just gotten these managers, I sent in an audition tape from Edmonds, from Washington for Scary Movie and two other, like, pilots or TV shows. They asked me if I'd be willing to fly down for Scary Movie. and my mom gave me some miles. So I flew down, crashed with my new hot boyfriend, and I auditioned for Buffy, which was played by Shannon Elizabeth.

And that was on the page in the script. That was funny. That was a really funny role that I understood. Then they said, I'm not going to get that role. On Wednesday, I auditioned for Buffy for three days straight. And then on Wednesday, they asked me to audition for Cindy Campbell, the lead and I was like I'm not going to get that role and she's not funny

I don't even understand like none of her words are funny I don't know what to do with this character and she's a brunette I don't think so I'm not going to get this role so then I got it and it's defined in my life ever since that moment you know that moment was and when I got

the call that I got the role on Friday I was in Burbank and my pager went off and it was my managers and I called like with dread from a payphone at a Mexican restaurant. And they said, you got the roll. And I had this feeling of lightheadedness. Like, I couldn't speak. And my new hot boyfriend and all his hot friends, they're like, whoa, you got it. What? And I didn't even, I, I did feel like I had

accomplished something, but I had no idea what. I had no idea what it meant. And what it meant was that Monday, I was up in Vancouver rehearsing with people who had experience, who knew what to do, who understood their role in comedy. And I thought they're going to fire me. They're going to fire me. Keenan's going to fire me. And Keenan was this, is this majestic, you know, figure that sort of, you can't help it be, have you met Keenan? Yes. Don't you think? Yeah, they all, like, I love all those brothers because they just, I mean, they're so

funny and they don't take themselves very seriously. And Keenan, yeah, Keenan's kind of like the leader of all of them. I guess he's the oldest, so that makes sense, right? Is he the oldest? Yeah. Yeah, no. I mean, they're awesome. Funny, funny guys.

Yeah, totally intimidating. And I was just like, I don't remember saying anything out loud, except. for my lines. And maybe like, what should I do? It's just so funny to hear an actress talk about how scary it was for you to be on a set because I think most people would perceive an actor or an actress to really be ready for it to be on camera and not to have those kinds of nerves or qualms. So I think it's probably really interesting for our listeners to hear you talk about this.

Oh, my God. Like, I remember how yellow my teeth were. Like, I didn't know anything. I didn't know until, I just didn't know anything. I didn't know. And what did you do to quell, did you, what did you, what did you do to quell your nerves? Like, were you able to do anything? Nothing.

Right. Like, I, yeah, I was, I was, I was, I felt like I was just hanging on by the skin in my teeth. Right. And I remember, I was so impressed by how we, in scary movie, we have the original cast members. and then we also have a new generation. And the young generation, those actors were so supportive of each other. They didn't seem to be as jockeying, like, ego-wise, as I remember those environments being in the early 2000s. It felt like they would say to each other, oh, that was hysterical.

I feel like those kinds of compliments, it was felt cutthroat from, an immediate moment. Everyone was talking about their next gig. I had no next gig. I didn't, I felt really lonely during those days, I think. Right. And it wasn't on anybody. It was a circumstantial idea and also feeling like, you know, I got, after the movie

wrapped, I moved to L.A. Having no idea what this city was about. and I would go on these general meetings with studio executives or TV executives or whatever, and they would say, so you do comedy, I would be like, no, no, I don't, I don't do comedy, no. So you didn't have any ideals about being an actress, but then you did comedy and then you were like, I just don't want to be a comedic actress because you didn't really come out of you to become an actress. Yeah, I was just dipping my toe and I wanted to. And then you wanted to get away from comedy as soon as you tried that?

I just didn't think I was good at it. I never, I never, I understood how to play a character sincerely with conviction, which turns out, I guess that's all you need. I think, I think too, like for so long I have felt the pressure to, to, to feel grateful. Like, I know that I have these opportunities that so many people would want, that so many people would, like, I am living, you know, a dream. But it always came with this thing of, like, it's still such an ill-fitting shoe for me. When journalists would say, early on, they would ask, are you worried about being typecast? I'm like, you're asking the question and, yeah, I mean, yes.

And I felt like I couldn't really get auditions for dramatic work. You couldn't help but be emotionally invested in work that didn't even feel that good, like words that were just kind of lame to say. But yet, I had a little bit of resentment that it crossed my mind that keen, while he gave me this huge gift. Along the way, in the arrogance of my 20s, I did feel envious of people who got their big break in a different way. And I think that is a really ungracious idea.

And it was only in the last, like, year, I think that I really, started to notice and appreciate if and when people recognized me, they would usually smile, you know? Like, they'd be like, oh, yeah, like thinking about something fucking stupid I did and on screen. And I really started to notice that and absorb that. Do you think that has to do with not drinking? Yeah.

Because I know you stopped drinking. Yeah. So maybe that lit that up. A little bit, right? One of the many gifts, it turns out there's a correlation between drinking and depression for me, for sure. Okay. For sure.

I had to take a step back and not self-sabotage. Yeah, yeah. But I think that that happens to so many people, you know? And hormone patches. Yeah, and things change also, like drinking changes as you get older. It's not the same. It doesn't have the same effect, impact. I mean, all things change as you get older.

So you have to really be, like, kind of in touch with your person, you know? Like, I don't drink the way I used to drink. Yeah. I drink, but I can't, you know, like I just don't have the same, I don't even have the same desire. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night.

Steven Jonas Brothers, live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets this Friday at 10 a.m. at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island,

to deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I finally got on hormones, a hormone patch. Did you have any hormone issues? It made a huge difference for me. Yeah. In terms of like feeling that sinking, feeling or that low vibe, I started to feel that.

and that's not my energy at all. Like, I usually have, like, a lot of energy and I can be up. But, yeah, I went through a phase where, and it was totally my hormones. They're like, you have absolutely no estrogen. And I was on estrogen, but I was on the wrong dosage of it. So then they flipped it around and they increased my dosage because they're like, I said, I'm on it. And they're like, yeah, but that you have none.

So it's not enough. So then when they increased my dosage, within 24 hours, I went from, like, I remember talking to someone going, listen, I'm not going to kill myself. for anything. This is, and this is like, I don't know, six months a year ago, I'm not really good with time. I said, I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but if I were, if we were all to agree right now on some sort of group euthanasia, I would be down. Yeah, I would be down for it. I'm like, I'm not going to hurt myself, but I just don't care. Like, it's almost the feeling of you just, and it's the closest I've ever had to what people describe as depression. So I don't

want to claim that I've had that either because I don't have enough experience to talk about that personally. But it's the lowest I've ever felt without having a solution. And it's almost like a loss of hopefulness. So as soon as the hormone, like, and it was within 24 hours, I felt the, the feeling that I could hang on to was a feeling hopeful again. I was like, oh, wait a second. Okay, hold on. I can deal with this, you know? Like these are all circumstances that I can deal with and I can attack and like you know be proactive about but there was a feeling of helplessness before that that just felt so empty and you're just like what is wrong with me this is not me i could not agree more and compounding that with alcohol i can understand it's not yeah and a death of a career that i felt

confused about yeah but your career is not dead so that's that has been like the awesome fucking thing i think what has it has really felt doing this press tour for scary movie getting to be on set the first time I saw marlin I was getting fit for my hair and makeup I hadn't seen him since 2001 on a press tour I was getting fitted for a wig he comes into hair and makeup and he's like oh there is like oh you've changed you've changed he comes in he's so big and handsome and just marlin and he comes in with a bunch of people and I leapt up out of my hair a makeup chair and I grabbed him by the forearms and I was like Marlon I need you to know I am so fucking grateful to be here I can't believe I get to thank you in person and I love you and he was like at first he was he like he was taken a back by my intensity

but I felt this desperation of like I got to tell him I got to tell him that this moment means so much to me because I do feel like that the getting to recognize and take in the gift that Keenan gave me and that opportunity to thank him for my comedic journey you know that's cute yeah I love that yeah it's it's been I don't know a lot of people who get that because I did think about them a lot at night. You know, I would. I would like, I would think like, I never, I never got a chance to thank Keenan to like really, really thank him after all these years have gone by. And that's been such a defining part of my life and launched me into comedy and like, which has been this foreign feeling. And the comedy world has given me so much.

that I did not realize, you know? Let's pivot a little to your family life. Because I want to talk about raising, because your son's 13 now, and you have a stepdaughter. Yeah. How old is she? She's 23. Okay. 22.

And you've been in her life for 10 years, is-ish? Yeah. Right? So you're pretty into your stepdaughter. You guys are really close. We're getting closer. Okay. I love her.

I'm really proud of her. I think that I was a stepmom that really didn't know. I feel I was ill-equipped to be a mom. Like, I was kind of on the fence about being a mom. But anyone, I mean, who is equipped? Like, even if you plan to have a baby and you, I mean, no one, I feel like everyone goes into that equally because you can plan all you want. But once you get that baby, it's like all plans are off the table. Yeah, but you know when that little sister thing kicks in in a way that's not motherly, that's like, that's a little antagonistic, that's a little challenging.

like something about having a stepdaughter kicked that in a little bit. Okay. A little bit. But she's incredible. She just graduated from Georgetown with honors, totally driven, and we're getting closer. What do you think is different between parenting, like, a girl versus a boy? I guess it's different because you're a stepmother and then you have your son. But because I always look at step parenting as like the ultimate.

Like that's ideal. Maybe not for the children, but for the parents. because, like, that's the kind of situation I could ease into as being a step-parent. I think my son is, he's, like, as solid as a tugboat emotionally. He just doesn't get easily jarred. He handles situations really well. He is religious. Are you religious?

No, I didn't grow up with religion. Okay. He's asked me to accept. Jesus Christ. As your Savior. Uh-huh. Okay. And I said, I told him that I would do anything for him, including this, but it's going to take a whole lot of long conversations.

And he's impressive, actually. He's impressive. Because I try to challenge him. I'm like, do you think it's a luxury that you get to be pro-life? Do you think that's kind of a luxury? He's like, maybe. Or I'll say, so what do you think of this megapaster that's kind of a grifter? What do you think?

He's like, oh, megapasters are the worst. So it's like, okay, he's got, we're getting there. I mean, I'm appreciative that he's examining religion the way he is in terms of recognizing hypocrisy. starting to recognize hypocrisy, and I'm appreciative that we can have these long conversations and maybe I'll get back into the podcasting world. Why did you stop doing your podcast? I... You were like one of the pioneers of podcasting.

You and Mark Marin, who have both stopped doing their podcast. I started it in 2016, early 2016, and I had planned on having like four, at five listeners. I didn't plan. I didn't even know you could make money. It was this awesome chapter in my life. And when people would come up to me at the grocery store or wherever and say, oh, I listen to your podcast. It did feel like a secret. It felt like I was. I wanted to build a community.

I wanted that idea. I didn't want to have celebrity guests. I wanted to just talk to strangers. And it became, you know, like it became a larger thing more quickly than I. kind of was ready for, but I also, I realized too, it was so important for me to have my own sense of narrative, my own way to control the story, even though, like, because between going through a divorce, between being on mom, like, it was, it was liberating in, like, if I had to ever round out my storyline, my story, my personal story, I had, I had it, I had an avenue.

And I also loved having intimacy with strangers that wasn't around the celebrity element of my life, although it became something different when we did have celebrity guests, of course. Anyway, why did I stop doing it? I think I sort of stopped enjoying it as much, I guess. Yeah. I don't know. What about you? I mean, it is exhausting in its own particular way.

Yeah. I think with mine, it feels like, I find it just to be, like, I like what you say about incorporating regular people, normal people. Like, that's what we do. We have callers that call in. So that keeps me, like, motivated about it, you know, so it's not just celebrity driven or guest driven. There's another element to it that's nice. But it always kind of turns into that. I think podcasts always kind of turn into your celebrity guests, you know. So that's why I admire a lot of podcasts that don't go down that road. But I like it because I just like talking. and I like listening to, you know.

I mean, I like hearing people's stories. Yeah, me too. But I can understand also not wanting to, you know, also not wanting to do it. I mean, now it's like you're kind of probably glad that you're not doing it because everyone in their mother has a podcast. Yeah, it's true that it did feel like early on it was, a lot of celebrities weren't so scared to do it too. They didn't really know what it was.

It was just like, wait, we're going to hang out at that actress's house. So I think people were a little less guarded, which was including myself. Maybe I'll miss it in a couple of years. Maybe I should get back on that horse at some point. It'd be nice to have the door open again. Well, I bet people would welcome your return. Thanks. Yeah, absolutely.

Should we take some callers now so she can get into the group? Are you ready to talk to some regular people? Yeah, let's talk to some regular people so we can inspire you. I love that. You've heard the chaos. Now you can see it. Do we want to jump right in? Watch all your favorite.

podcast from start to finish right inside the free iHeart radio app make some noise wooee catch every laugh and iroll on shows like bestie listen hey jonas and lost culture he says now with full video i'll just leave that there it's the same hosts and the same chemistry with all the hilarious moments you've been missing right on your screen open the free iher radio app search video podcasts and tap watch when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors

who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important,

to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed.

I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture. moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is the Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to pro society on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this

random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people. People smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Well, our first caller today is Courtney. and she's in a little bit of a messy situation. So she says, dear Chelsea, my name's Courtney and my husband and two young kids currently live with my 82-year-old mother-in-law. We've lived here for over two years under the condition that she can no longer financially or physically maintain this house by herself, and one day would like to pass the house to my husband to split with his brother. We live in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S., so to be able to inherit a house

in a nice neighborhood with good public schools is truly a gift. But we're learning that that gift comes with a hefty price. The main issue is my relationship with my mother-in-law. I started having problems with her the moment we moved in. She'd make passive-aggressive comments on how I was doing something, comment on my parenting, and even try to meddle in my marriage. Things came to a blow a few times, and we've had many heart-to-heart conversations where I would firmly state my boundaries.

She would seem apologetic and receptive in the moment, but she is who she is. It's gotten to the point where I truly just avoid interactions with her until it has to do with the kids. If she's in the kitchen making coffee, I'll wait for her to leave before I walk in. I don't speak unless she speaks first. My husband tolerates her better than I can, but even he's getting worn down by her need to step into a situation and parent us. If it were up to me, I'd tell her to sell the house, downgrade to a retirement community where she could make friends and be happier, and just give my husband the money to use as he sees fit for our family. But she's so attached to this house and wants to stay, even though she has to rely on us to make that happen.

And my husband wants to raise our kids here and has poured so much sweat equity into the house, he doesn't want to let it go either. I feel like I'm going crazy and could use some perspective and some advice on how to fix a relationship with an elderly family member who is never going to change her ways. Courtney. Hi. That sounds like a fucking hot mess situation that you're in. It's not great. I know.

You guys can't figure out a way financially to make it work for you to move out. Well, I mean, that always is like the obvious answer. You know, and I'm complaining to my friends, vending to my family. They're just like, well, why do you live there? You don't have to live there. You can move out. And it feels, it truly feels like it's not an option for me because, you know, my husband and I were a package deal.

And it's like all of a sudden, then I'm being put in a position where I'm calling the shots and I'm telling them that they need to uproot their life and all the decisions that they've made. You avoid going in the kitchen because your mother law is in there is like, that's really unhealthy. Like if you can't be in a living situation where you have your, because like you have to worry about A, the example you're setting, B, like, your happiness and comfort level. And, like, all of those things are going to have an impact and effectuate your relationship, your marriage,

your relationship with your children. Like, it just doesn't seem like it's a, I mean, you are in a position because you are one of the heads of the household, both you and your husband, ostensible, or theoretically, like, you are in a position to say this isn't a healthy situation for us. I mean, sitting there and waiting for her to what? Sell the house or die? Like, what are you waiting for? It truly feels like it's a rock and a hard place. And other than that dynamic and her being a part of our lives, like my husband and I are really good team. And we, the four of us, like our little family, work really well together. And so there's moments where she's in her room for a really, really long time. And it feels really good in the house.

Yeah. Fives are high. And then she walks into the room and it completely changes. So let me ask you a couple of things, if you don't mind. How feasible is this retirement home idea? Has she expressed interest in it? No. So it's almost like when I've asked, why is that not a consideration? It's like, how dare you even ask? The unfortunate thing is with most family decisions, you are in a position to be proactive decision maker. With this big thing of your mother-in-law in your life so much, unfortunately, you, by circumstance, cannot be the main proactive member of this decision-making because it'll drive a wedge between all of you guys, essentially.

So I wonder how is your husband, do you ever get frustrated with your husband being a passive player in this or does he understand and is he on equal level with your frustration? It's a really hard position for him to be in. Of course. He does feel like he is in the middle. He's like, this is my mom. This is my wife. Yeah.

You guys need to figure it out. Yeah. And I, that's not exactly fair for him that sentiment. Yeah. But yeah. So he kind of looks at us like we're both pretty immature in the situation. Do you feel that?

I admittedly have had some situations that I'm not proud of the way that I handled them. Like I've really become unglued. And he really is helpful to remind me that I can focus on what I can control and I can control my reaction and I can control the way she makes me feel. But I can't control what she's going to do, what she's going to say. So he's really like helpful in reminding me to. let it go and not let it affect me so much. And for the most part, I really try. But then it's also kind of like you're just pushing things down and they faster. Did you guys used to have a closer relationship, you and your mother-in-law? Was there ever a time? Yeah. When my husband and I first

started dating, we would talk and it was very friendly and nice. And just circumstances that she's gone in her life through the last 10 years, just been a really bad decline for her mental state and her physical state. And I do see like how that's really sad. I'm not going to come in here and just like tell her she needs to. I don't, she's, you know, she's getting older. She's only much she can do. And she's really depressed. And she sits in her room and she watches the news all day. And that's not healthy. So I wonder how we can change. this element. Like, it's a lot to deal with. I mean, it's just so much to deal with. Like, I just don't think that there's a good solution here, you know? But she needs some degree of change, whether it's like

she goes to a senior center pottery class. Courtney, I have a horrible suggestion that you're going to hate. But how would it make you feel if you invited her for like a 15-minute walk every morning. I know. You know what I mean? I know. I mean, I just think she needs some kind of change, right? Like she's and I can only imagine the kind of passive aggressive language skills you guys have developed. So I do think something needs to change. This is a tough situation for all of you guys. And I do think she needs a small change in her life so we can get her to the retirement. home sooner. And I think if she starts to have a little bit of irregularity, even just like one thing a day,

I don't know. Like, Courtney, do you think I'm on the right track here? I think you're maybe suggesting that I could help be like a little. I want your mother-in-law to move out. This is my goal. I want her to move out and go to a retirement home and play bingo all day long and make new friends and stuff like that. But I know that kind of radical change. This is like a eight month process here, 10 month process. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that we can count on her moving out,

though, because it's her house. And that feels like she's being kicked out of her own house. And they're waiting for her to move out. You know what I mean? Like, that's why they're there, right? Because you're waiting for her to move out or basically to die. Essentially, I mean, as morbid as that sounds, but yeah, she's like, I don't want to go anywhere. Right. She needs us to make that happen. Yeah. So it's pretty tricky because she's going to, I mean, she's, she's already feeling like they're there because they want something from her. And the more depressed she becomes, the more angry she's going to become at you guys. And the more she's going to get into like, you know, that victim mentality, like all they want from me. I mean, my dad got really old and was like,

you guys just want my money. My dad didn't even have any money. We're like, we don't want your money. You don't have any. Like we're trying to make your life more, you know, better. So many old people fall into like bitterness. I know, but it's, I mean, listen, you're getting old and it's not pleasant. It does. Tell her that. Yeah, tell her that. Tell her, Anna said that.

Your death is going to suck. I don't, I wish I had a good, I wish I had a good suggestion, but I mean, I have a question because there's a little bit of like stuff in here about when she does move out of the house, whichever direction that is, death or a nursing home, that the house is going to get sold. and it's going to be split between your husband and the brother. Isn't that something that would likely happen anyway, even if you guys are not living in this situation that's toxic for you? Well, I think the goal is to just buy out his brother's share and then raise our family here.

So you guys would stay in the house, ideally. Yeah. Are you in any individual therapy? That's my other question. I was. I was during the first year that all of this really. really started unraveling and I haven't been for a while. And I shared that with her. You know, I shared like, this has been really hard on me. I am therapy and I'm working on myself and I'm

working on this and because this is not sustainable and I'm really unhappy. So she's been told that. Right. But that's a little bit like I'm in therapy because of you. And a lot of this feels like I've been here too, where it's like, I'm upset with the other person because I need to control what they're doing. And I think a therapist, it's not just about pushing it down and like ignoring it. It's about getting to a place where she really can make some comment about your parenting and it really does roll off. Like, you don't have to worry about what she says. You're an adult. You're going to make your decisions for your kids along with your husband by yourself. but I think working with a therapist on a regular basis can help you with those like day-to-day stuff

while you're still in this like co-living situation. How old are your kids? Three and six. Oh boy. So, you're in it. You are just in life right now. Oh, boy. Does she enjoy the grandkids at all?

My youngest is very sweet, very outgoing, very personable. And so he has a really cute relationship with her. my oldest just doesn't really go out of his way. He doesn't see that there's a lot in common for him there. Do you guys ever have like dinner together? You know, to be honest with you, just because of the age of our kids, it's really focused around them at dinner time. Right. Yeah. So we we tried to do the sit at the dining table and all have dinner together. We did that for a few months. And it just my, they're, they just make it so unpleasant. So it's just the ages that they're at. Oh. Oh, boy.

Right. If your mother-in-law is even slightly happier, it'll make all of you happier. And maybe it can change some of the patterns of communication. She's not used to your ways, where you put the thing or how you clean the thing. And gosh, I am feeling for you. I know. I know. I wish I don't have any, I don't know what to tell you to do other than to remove yourself

from that situation and move out until she's... Or do you just understand the next fucking seven years of your life are going to be small degrees of hell? Seven to 20. I mean, probably not if she's having health issues already, but seven to 20. Yeah, but also sitting around waiting for somebody to expire is also no, no guino.

And living day today and having your kids live day today in a house where, like, they walk into a room and can cut the tension with a knife isn't good for them either. Yeah. I wonder how we can just change her. circumstances a little bit. If her degree of happiness, she sounds pretty lonely and miserable and just

as she goes into mental decline, whatever that means, obsessing about certain things, lashing it out on you, you know, that like ever since Courtney rearranged the thing, I can't find where the other thing is or whatever her fucking grievances.

I just wonder if bumping her mood changing her regular routine in any way is a worthy experiment and whether that is... It's definitely worthy because there's no other idea. So it's worthwhile to try something. Would you get her a cat? Maybe.

I don't know. She probably complained about that too if she's really in a bitter state. I do like the idea you had about like 15 minutes in the morning, whether it's a walk or coffee. Or taking it to a senior center to the library or I don't even know if she would agree, Courtney to, I just think she needs a change in routine somehow. She needs to have her world open up a little bit so it's not continuing to close in around you guys. Yeah.

I completely agree and I wish I had, you know, an easy response for that. Are you close with your brother-in-law? I wouldn't say close, but we have a good relationship. He's in a different state. Okay, okay. I just wonder if you could use some local resources in your area, especially as her mental health is declining. Because sometimes a lot of people will lean into bitterness and anger. And that's going to be poisonous for all of you guys.

I think starting, my suggestion would be start with small steps for her. And Courtney, you are living in existence right now where you have to operate with extreme. generosity. And it is so fucking hard. Keep going. It's a long game, you know. And in two years, this will be a different circumstance, you know, for better for work. You know what I mean? This time is happening. She's declining. So. And also get back into therapy so that you have somebody to vent to, like on the regular that isn't your husband. Yeah. Yeah. You just keep long game in it. You know, Chelsea and I were talking about my relationship with my stepdaughter and how we had all these turbulent times. And when I was thinking clearly, I could take a deep breath

and think about the long game. Think about like, okay, like she's going to remember me getting really pissed off at this one thing. She'll remember that more than for a longer period of time than I will. how do I how do I protect this relationship how do I protect my husband how do I protect our relationship with these challenging circumstances that are inescapable and I do know that your mom may need a small change and you can kind of go from there she may fucking hate it and I don't know if it can come from you you and your husband might have to do some good brainstorming yeah do some good brainstorming and try and think of something different ways to spice up her day yeah yeah yeah I gave advice I should warned you. But thank you for calling in, Courtney. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for your guys

this time. And thank you for like you're doing hard work right now, Courtney. Good job. Good job. You're doing great. You really are. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for sharing. Bye bye. You've heard the chaos. Now you can see it. Hello. My gosh. Watch all your favorite podcasts from start to finish right inside the first. IHIR radio app. Gets the blood going up. Catch every laugh and eye roll. On shows like the Tom Green Farmcast and park the bus.

Now with full video. We're building a ramp for Tony Hawk. It's the same hosts and the same chemistry with all the hilarious moments you've been missing. Right on your screen. Cheers. Open the free IHR radio app. Search video podcasts and tap watch. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

I survived and I've spent my life. exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed. And I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Pro's Society. the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture

obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real. messages inside compelling characters, and that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're. you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of

yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next caller is Pablo, and he says, dear Chelsea, I'm from the Dominican Republic. Basically, my issue is that I'm always home. I have a good, fully remote job with an international company doing work in my career path, which I love, software architect. But because of that, I don't get out a lot. My life has turned kind of gray.

Thankfully, I have a husband whom I love, but I don't have any friends. I can spend months where the only person I see in real life is my husband. I'm so with you, Pablo. Is this a problem? It's a weird thing that keeps happening. I don't know. The thing is, I don't have any activities that I enjoy that could lead me to meeting new people. I don't go to an office.

I don't study anymore. and I've never liked the gym or sports in general. I take care of my husband. He doesn't work. He's a student and he doesn't like his career. He hasn't found his passion yet. I'm fine with that. He mostly plays games and is pursuing his degree.

It doesn't bother me, but I have this feeling that maybe I'm ruining his life by making everything too easy for him. Also, while I love him, maybe I needed someone who pushes me and takes me out to do things, someone more active than me who motivates me. The worst part is that I think that somehow I'm doing great without feeling great. I live in an apartment that has everything I like and I have a really good staff. that allows me to have a very good life. Everything seems to be good, but I don't know how to start feeling good.

Or maybe that feeling doesn't exist. And I'm asking for too much. Maybe you have some ideas, Pablo. Ha! Hi, Pablo. Hi, Pablo. Hi, Pablo. He's like, my life is going so well.

I don't know what to like about it. Yeah. You know what it sounds like to me, Pablo, that you need to just get out of the house a little bit more, be around. But the thing is that what activities am I supposed to do, Chil? Go for a fucking walk, Pablo. Go for a walk outside. Go get what?

You can't do that? You can't go for a walk around the neighborhood. I mean, I can't, but you say like it's fun or there is something productive. I will force myself to walk. Just, yeah, I don't know. And how do you meet people like that anyway? Am I going to be outside in the middle of the street stopping people like, hey, can you be my friend? Like, that doesn't work at 30.

What you need is a change of scenery. So when you have the same scenery day in and day out, you're bored because, you're not seeing anything different and new. So whatever that means, yes, going for a walk of a walk down the street or to a coffee shop may not sound like a rip-roaring time, but that's okay because you basically need, like, there is scientific data that backs up the fact of what happens to your brain's chemistry when you do walk outside. What happens to your brain's chemistry when you socialize with other people,

whether they are friends or strangers? What happens to your brain chemistry when you're forced to bring up, you know, have a conversation with a stranger? So all of these things, while they may not seem like, quote unquote, fun activities will feed your soul in a different way. So you have, the world is at your fingertips. You have a job. You have a safe place to live. You have a partner.

You have all of the things that most people desire in this world and you're still a little bit dissatisfied. And I would just argue that you just need to like open up your world a little bit and you're going to be fine, you know? you if you want to make friends go to places where you're going to make friends find things that interest you what interests you do you like to play volleyball do you like to play baseball do you like to play games do you want to go game go to a trivia night do you want to do like what interests you that would be a group activity is there anything you could think of that sounds like a good time that's the thing for i don't do sports like i'm on earth i'm gonna be really in that regard that's my career and i love that but the thing is that you know i'm i'm not entertained anymore into go

into bars and stuff. When I was younger, I was into that, but not anymore. I just like to stay at home. And yeah, I don't have like those activities to go. I don't have any anything to do there. My hobbies are I play games at home. And maybe I like to do card games, but those are 15 minute things. Like, it's not like an activity you can set up or just go somewhere or at least I don't know the places. I don't know really how people in their 30s that have a stable life. I want to ask you, is this one of the first times in your life where the future feels kind of vague, where there isn't like a specific goal? Like whether that, you know what I mean? So, which probably is also why in your letter you mentioned even the vagueness with your partner right now.

Like, is this person pushing me enough? What's my goal? Where am I in five years? and what I would suggest along with going literally just taking a five-minute stroll, even if you don't, just like walk to the coffee shop and go get a coffee and sit down and have a coffee. Do you have a dog by any chance? No, I don't have.

That is a great way to get. But wait, Pablo, I think you guys should go on a trip. I think you should start planning a trip. Do you enjoy travel? And would you guys? I enjoy traveling. And you're traveling. Of course, it's not like you can travel all the time.

Sure. I do it once in a while. You know, it's not like I do it every month. Should I do that? Well, here's my suggestion. Like, I, when I'm in the middle of a job, like a film or something like that, I really love daydreaming, proactively daydreaming about a trip. So I'm kind of old school.

I like a guidebook. But even if I didn't actually take the trip. trip, which I usually did, but even if I didn't, having that kind of activity planning was good for me mentally. And you may be, because right now you're trying to force a lot of big decisions, even in this small, seemingly small question, you're essentially asking, should I be with my partner? What is wrong with me? I don't like people. I just want to be at home. If you say it like that, it sounds awful. No, no, no, no, no. It just, and I just want to. I just want to. I just want to be. I just want to be. I just. I just want to give you perspective in that your life right now, you're looking for a goal.

You're wondering like what, yeah. And I wonder. Yeah, and I wonder if a small step, like, do you enjoy driving? Like, is there a weekend trip you could take? Is there any kind of new experience you could do for not a lot of money, low commitment, even if it's going to a place that's two hours away? for a night. Wow.

That's, look, I don't drive. I don't like to drive either. Okay. You don't like a lot of things, Boblow. Yeah. The thing is, I'm a home guy. Yeah. I know.

I am too, Pablo. Like, the human brain responds to novelty, which is what Chelsea was saying. My human brain responds to puzzles. What about a comedy? Television. Do you like concerts? Have you guys got some?

Yeah, I like, I like concerts. Okay, so that's an easy thing to do, because you can find live entertainment. in your area playing. I mean, that's something good to plan. I love going to the theater, but it's not like, but, you know, I don't think that's something you can do often, you know?

Sure. True, but you're not doing it every month or stuff. Like, that will not be fulfilling, is it? I think unfortunately, there isn't a big grand answer to your question. Yeah. I think that's why I thought. If you are comfortable

being a home body, that's great. You know what your comfort zone is and that's okay. If your partner is dissatisfied with your lack of sociability, that's kind of a different issue to address. But you may need to start to question the big question, which is, what am I looking for as Pablo? Am I looking for anything? I don't know if it's wrong for me to feel like I've done it. Like, I'm fine with what I have. I'm happy. So I don't have like much plans. I'm to the common objectives of lives. I don't want to, I don't want a house. Like, I live rented, but I live in a rented apartment when I'm happy. And I feel like buying a house, it will stock me.

So I would like to move anywhere when I want to. So yeah, I have like that perspective. So that's an objective. And I'm just living, you know, living my best life. Every time I once again, I just get it. Yeah, I don't know what the problem is here. I mean, you're looking for problems. The problem is that in the end, even if I have my house, I feel lonely because I don't have friends. I don't know how to meet friends, people to have, to spend time in my house. Where I like to be, people that visit me to have a drink, to drink a glass of wine. And that stuff I don't have.

And also, this life that I'm having, it's not doing well for my health because I don't walk. And the thing is that when I met my husband, he was healthy. He was a really happy guy. And everything was fine. but now he's been with me for three plus years, and I'm the one causing his issues because I impregnated my way of living into him. And I love him, so I don't want him to be like that,

but my egoism of wanting him to be here doesn't let me just tell him, hey, maybe you should live and be healthy like you were before you had me. You know? Can I offer a suggestion? Since your husband is in sort of like more of the kept man, role. He does not have a lot of responsibilities right now. Like he doesn't work. Is there a way that he can be sort of the motivator to some of this stuff? Like, hey, honey, we've been sitting at home a lot. I need you to plan one day to week where we find a new park to walk to or just walk around the park.

We go there and we walk around. To find something interesting to do. You know, find somewhere. Go to a concert. Go to a concert. Start just doing it once a week. Exactly. And it can be like, his little homework for the week. Do you know, the fun part is that I think he wants me to have that initiative. So then you do it. Just do it. That's the least you can do. You've impregnated him with...

But you've impregnated him with your lifestyle. You just said that. So now it's your responsibility. Take some of it off of his plane. Be like, you know what? You're right. You're enmeshed in my life. And now we're like living my lifestyle.

So for you, every weekend, I'm going to plan something for us to do. Just start with small things like. Well, that's also a really good idea. Okay, so just let's do that to start with. What about you guys taking a 20-minute walk, like right as soon as we end this conversation? I like it. I'll do that. You know what?

I'm going to take it more than I'm going to do that. Do that. Okay. I don't know if it's cool enough. I am like, I do not like to go out into the sun, so I don't blame you for waiting a little bit till it's cooler. We just got to agree to take a walk. Let's just wrap it up.

Let's wrap it up. guys. Thank you. Go take a walk. And then you're going to also make plans for the weekend. You're doing great. Every weekend. And report back to us what you're doing each weekend. We're talking back with you in a month, okay? Yeah. About all the places you went. Let's see how that goes. Okay. Small question, big question. I hope you have a fantastic day. Okay. You too. I hope he gets out of the house. Okay. Anna, thank you very much for being here. Hey, thank you. Spa weekend is out tomorrow. Where can people watch spa weekend?

In theaters. In theaters. Oh, even more exciting. A theater release. We love it. Okay, thank you so much, Anna. It's always lovely to talk to you. I'm so happy to be here.

You know, I'm not going to leave. If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com.

I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for-you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to serve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting

the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture, with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to pro society on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas Podcast? We are at D23. We'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by, Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen.

What? For Christoph. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you're probably one. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars and more. And I guess I can share that, uh, no way.

Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.