Dear Chelsea - Ride or Die PONIES with Emilia Clarke

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Emilia Clarke joins Chelsea to chat about learning Russian, her road to recovery after two brain hemorrhages, and how to pretend a tennis ball is a dragon. Then: An Argentinean’s messy habits have his boyfriend busy doing cleanup. A girlfriend is crazy about her new guy, but wants to maintain her single identity.  And a newly-sober caller is comedy-curious. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Okay, guys, the high and mighty tour is about to begin. I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Atlantic City, which I just added. Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course. Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque.

Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina. May 6th, I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Portchester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Go to Chelseahandler.com for tickets. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine.

Hi, Chelsea. Hi, it's me, Chelsea, handjob. Coming to you live from Whistler. Looks like it's finally snowy there. When was the last time you gave a handjob, Catherine? Have you given an adult handjob? Actually, like, three days ago. Oh, wow.

Yeah, doesn't it all start with a handjob? I mean... It starts, but a handjob three days. ago, Catherine, in a marriage? I mean, seriously? I am on a doctor-requested pelvic rest after some female stuff. So it was like hand job or nothing. I mean, like, you know, it could progress, but pelvic rest. What happened? Well, we'll get into it off the, we'll get it into off the show. I think it should be on the podcast. Why would you want to talk about that offline? You know, my doctor, I'm just like, endometriosis stuff. And my doctor's like, chill out for a

second with the intercourse, which Brad is very not happy with. But, you know, let me just say something. Why, when you have to be on pelvic rest, are you delivering hand jobs? Why isn't Brad just going down on you? That's actually a very good question. Yeah, Brad, can you come back in the room, please? I don't understand this. Why is she being punished for being on pelvic breast?

That's her first punishment. And now the second one is the handjob. She's not being punished. I offered, you know? Did you? Yeah. And she's like, now I'd rather give you a hand job. I believe in reciprocity.

So, you know, we're... He does. Okay, okay. He's very good about that. He did actually offer. Selfish lover. I was like, I get over here, give him my hand job. We're good.

Get over here. I need my hand job. Okay. What are we talking about? I want to know, Chelsea. Have you seen Michael Rappaport on the traitors and the clips that are going around about him? You know what? I've actually, you know, let me tell you something very interesting.

I got this phone service. mobile, right? This is like the ethical phone. My friend, Andrew Yang, started this company. And they basically reward you for not being on your phone. And since I got this service, I am not on my phone like I used to be. I was, it said my average screen time the other day was 49 minutes. And that's including texting and emailing. I was, I mean, it was a Saturday, so it wasn't a lot happening. But like 49 minutes, it used to be like four hours and 45 minutes. So your phone bill is like $50 a month. You have unlimited like international, all that stuff.

And then they give you money. Like last month I got a $6 credit. Hell yeah. So the less you're on your phone, the more money you get back. It's nice to have incentives like that. Yeah, of course. Of course. Especially I want a phone company that doesn't want me on my phone.

That's nice. Well, let me tell you, Michael Rappaport is going viral because of how he eats. Oh, I can only match. Is it disgusting? It's bad, Chelsea. He picks up the whole plate and then he shoves the plate into his mouth and scoops. That is how he eats. There are multiple shots of this from him on the Traders.

What is the Traders? Oh, it's a reality show. It's the one with Alan Cumming and Monet exchanges on it this time. But why is he, why is Michael Rappaport on it? He is a contestant on the Traders. But is he eating like that on purpose? I mean, I don't know. I kind of wondered that too.

I'm like, is it a bit? Yeah, it's a bit. Nobody puts their plate up into their mouth. I mean, I've seen some fucked up eating. I'm Jewish. And I came from a very Jewish Italian neighborhood. And it was like, people who chewing on their food was watching like a spin cycle go around. My father being one of those people. You were like, excuse me, get out of my five yard radius of me, please. It's disgusting. Yeah. Well, we have a much more elegant guest today. Yeah, she's very elegant because she's British. She's someone, you know, from the, you know, from the. the Star Wars universe, the Terminator franchise, and Game of Thrones. Amelia Clark is here. We have her live in action in studio. Hi, you cutit, patootie, fresh and fruity. So excited to talk to you. You too, you're somewhere beautiful and snowy.

Oh my God, I'm in Whistler, Canada. This is where I live in the wintertime. I have to keep my feet on the ground in skis at all time. Yes, yes. I've seen you nude skiing down slopes and thought that looks fun. Thank you. Thank you for that shout out. I want to first say that the person we're speaking with today, her full name is Amelia Isabel Euphemia, Rose Clark, MBA, which is a standing for member of the most excellent order of the British Empire.

I mean, are you even allowed to be talking to me? It's quite a title. I know. That is so funny. My parents didn't know what to call me, so they call me everything. That's how that goes. It's very euphonious, though. All of those names kind of like, I mean, if you can.

remember them all, they kind of roll off the tongue. They do, they do ultimately roll off the tongue. Yes. But it's a good, it's a good like test of the memory. I'll know if something's gone wrong by how, if I can remember how to say my full name. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, where am I getting you from today? Where in the world are you, Amelia? I am in a hotel room in New York. Oh, okay. How's that going? It's good. Today's day one. We'll see how it goes. Oh, good. Today's day one of your press tour. Yes. You're promoting before. First, we're talking about the show.

You're here to promote, which is called ponies. I saw a bunch of episodes already. You did. I did. I did. You know, one of my other favorite people is Haley Lou Richardson. So I love her. Yes, of course.

And Susanna Fogel, who directs this whole project is another friend of mine. Oh my God. Okay, then you love us. This is fabulous. This is a warm room. I like it. Absolutely. Absolutely.

You're welcome. Yes, yes. I'm a fan of all of the things. So tell me about what it was like working with Haley Lou because you guys are so good together. I mean heaven. She's literally my sister. She's my itty-bitty baby sister. I love her with my whole heart. I have never met another human being like her. I never will as long as I live. I want her in my life forever. She's very unique. Yes. I listen to her episode with you guys. She's just the most beautiful, pure spirit. Like she is such a pure, rare human who just is so full of love and like

Like if you paid her to be mean to someone, she couldn't do it. Like, it's just, it's just, it's just being possible. She's so lovable. Like, she's so quirky and lovable. And it's almost like she's an actress who's just like, like, she did my podcast and then she was leaving. She was moving to Arizona. And I'm like, Haley, why are you doing such a thing?

And she's like, I don't know. My family's there. And, you know, I'll just come. Well, this happened while we were filming. She was like, I'm moving to Arizona. We, like, looked at the houses. She found the house that she liked. She, like, did the thing and was doing this huge move.

I'm so, she's so impressive in so many ways. She takes such big risks that to me sound like terrifying into her. She's like, this just feels like something I want to do right now. Like she follows her intuition. She follows how she feels. She's just remarkable and amazing. We're going to dedicate this podcast episode to Haley Lou. There we go.

Shout out to the Haley Lou. Yeah. And did you get her book, her book of poetry that she wrote? Of course I did. Okay, good. Yes, I did. She's so cute. Petituti. I love her so much. I put that on my little Instagram. Nice Russian, by the way. Did you have to learn

Russian for this rule? I mean, yeah. This was massive. This was like the biggest, I, I have never worked harder on any job ever, ever, and I never will again. It was literally, like, half my lines are Russian. I did not speak Russian. I'm not a linguist. It's speak English and I pretend that I can speak French and that's pretty much it. Well, you speak the Queens English. So that's actually, yeah. That's a feather in your pocket as well. You speak the proper English. Okay, double language. Double English.

So did you have to learn Russian? Russian is a, I have a Russian sister-in-law, so I'm familiar with the language, and it's tricky. It's so, they're just, this sounds are not, like, you don't hear Slavic sounds all the time in Europe. Like, it's not, it's not a sound that I'm hearing all the time. So I just couldn't get my mouth around it for half of it. And so I had this incredible dialect coach who was completely remarkable. And he created this whole, oh, this whole thing.

There's like a memory palace. There were stories. There were like, what does this Russian word sound like in English? And then there were images. And I had to learn their images to learn the story, to learn the words, to learn the lines. This was like a five-step process. Yeah, that sounds like a real pain in the ass. Especially for you to say this is the hardest you've ever worked with all of the movies that you've done.

that's saying a lot because being a mother to dragons, being in Star Wars, all of the nonsense that you've gotten up to in these like sci-fi worlds, pretending that you have two dragons as babies is, that would, oh, that's right, three, what am I talking about? You know what? It's so funny. I just came back from Antarctica and I was, they have these icebergs, right? You go on these excursions and the icebergs are so massive that you, And you get on kayaks and you're like kind of, you know, you're riding around and you're circling the icebergs. And then they're so big that when you get closer, they kind of unjulate and they go up and down.

And I said, I was like, this is like one of those dragons from Game of Thrones. I was like, this is like a real life eating, breathing thing that's alive. And then my friends like- And I got a tennis ball. So like you definitely experienced a much. You're looking at a tennis ball when we're looking at a dragon. I'm looking at a tennis ball. and I'm looking at three guys trying to not catch my eye, holding the tennis ball at the end of a big pole.

Yeah, that is difficult. That's some tough stuff. That was tough. Okay, so tell me, like, with the spectrum of all of this work that you're doing, because this isn't lighter fare, but it's got comedy in it. It's like, it's tongue and chic and it's chemistry, and it's kind of like it's a nice duo of women rather than men doing this show, so I obviously really like that.

But with everything you do, I do, I'm in it. I am interested in your process and how you break things down. Like, how do you look at acting and how do you take on these roles, whether it's something totally sci-fi or whether it's more rooted in this is a period piece that takes place in Russia a long time ago. But, like, how do you approach all of that? Okay, so it's definitely changed throughout the years. I mean, I started pretty much on Game of Thrones,

and I was pretty much straight out of drama school, like a year out of drama school. So I, on Game of Thrones, used to hide. between parked cars to prepare because I needed to prepare. And I needed like space and time and like, I'm having a panic attack and what am I doing? And this is my first big job. And the 80s, I didn't understand that an AD's job was to like make sure they knew where you were. And they, that's their job. I would be like, why is, why do they want me? Why are people calling my name? Like, this is, just give me some, give me a minute. And then I realized that they had to and I was not helping them by hiding. And so I think that in the beginning, it was very much like drama school training.

There's a right way to do this. I'm a goody-to-shoes. I want to do the right. I don't want to upset anyone. I want to do the right damn thing. So that was it. And I found that if I, so when you're in a set, the people, you have your stand-ins to do the lighting, right? And I used to be like, but if I do my own stand-in stuff, then I get to have some alone time. A lone time. To, for, pair. And then you do other jobs and you're like, this is an tant. I can't keep this up. This is just not. I can't keep the shtick up. First of all, it's a surprise to hear that there were cars on the set of Game of Thrones. Okay. So that's a spoiler alert right there. I had no idea you guys were dealing with any sort of modern day machinery. Yeah, in between the dragons. And then,

I don't know, you get older and it changes. I think for me, I like, Like, you know, the sets of families, you're there for a long amount of time. It turns into this, like, how do I manage my energy? How do I make sure that when the cameras are rolling and this thing that's going to last forever or as long as people want to watch it, that like I'm doing my job as best I can and that literally is, yeah, like an energy thing. So I'll do a lot of preparation before the job and I'll do a lot of reading. I'll reread the script a bazillion times.

I'll like watch the stuff that's helpful. I'll craft the character together. I'll have my little notebook. I'll have my sound, my music, and playlist stuff. Like all of those things are that when I turn up, I've done it already.

And then I can like shoot the shit with everyone on set and feel good that I know what I'm, what is what's already there? What's you're prepped enough than anything could come your way and you're like, all right,

I got this. You know, if you get a curve ball. Like it's the same. It's the same for comedy. It's like as long as you've got your game together and your shit together, if someone is heckling

in the audience or someone's drunk or whatever if something a joke doesn't it doesn't matter because you're so well prepared you can easily pivot exactly and like i feel for me i'm definitely an intuitive actor so i'm not i mean you would not i'm the furthest thing from a method actor you could possibly imagine like i'll be like and then she said and an action you know what i mean like it's it i don't need that so much but i do need to feel safe in the environment that i'm filming in so you want to Like, I'm friends with, you know, I want to know the crew well. I want to feel like we're all in this together and then I can embarrass it. Because sometimes acting is embarrassing.

It is. You know, you're doing a sex scene and you're like, hey, Tim, how are you? You had a good day? Yeah, I'm just going to get back to. So I think that's kind of one of the ways that my process or like how I deal with acting has changed throughout the years. But it's also feeling like in the moment you're ready to pivot. You're, because it's one thing, like, when I was a kid, you would, you know, you'd be in your hotel room, you'd be like, right, I'm going to stand here and I'm going to say it like this and he's going to be there and I'm so prepared and you're like so tense.

And that doesn't help because you're going to set and everything's, and you're acting with people, sometimes the tennis ball, but sometimes people and they're going to bring their own thing. And then they got a director who's going to have his own opinion. So I like to go with, I'd like to, I like to feel as free as I can in the sea. to be able to react to whatever I need to react to, to be able to take the right direction, listen to the other person, respond accordingly, without having too much of my idea of how I think this should go. Yeah, because, I mean, playing something like DeNaris Targaryen,

did I say that, right? You said it's so right. Wow. Another malefluous name that you have. You have a lot of, you have a lot of syllables in all of your character's names, FYI. I do, yeah. But playing someone like that,

like, that's a fucking bold, like you have to come out and like, you know, you are commanding like a massive presence for that show. Yes. You're the lead. Like you have to come out and do something that's so not rooted in reality. And like that's a huge swing. So watching the presence that you had during that show, never, I mean, obviously we're going to cover all your performances. But I just want to say as a viewer, you're like, whoa.

Because you have to be a powerhouse to pull that off and make it convincing. Because that would be for me, if someone said you're going to. play a mother to dragons. I'd be like, please don't make me do that. Like, I don't have the, I don't have the skill set to pull that off. Well, I didn't. So it's an undertaking. I mean, I didn't. And like, you know, from the beginning of the show, I agree with it. She was really, like, nervous and scared and didn't know anything. And, like, as the things, as the seasons went on, she got more and more and more. Do you know what? By the end, she's a badass motherfucker. But in the beginning, she wasn't at all. So I think,

I think I kind of grew with her and it's weird. The camera turns on and like something else happens. Like you just like you can, this is going to sound like a really weird example, but you can tell whenever, so I had to do a lot of riding horses on Game and Thrones in the beginning. I suck at it. I fell off of every horse. Why did they just let you ride a tennis ball?

Why do you have, what did they make the horses wheel? Exactly. I mean, there was one time where it was going so badly. They put me on the camera dolly and pretended. I just put a load of axes around it and I was like, yeah, I'm riding a horse. I'm not riding horse. I'm riding Barry's camera trolley. And as soon as you get on a horse, the horse feels everything that you're feeling, right?

So if you're shit scared, the horse is like, get off. I stop it. And I'm going to go crazy. And there were times when I was like, I'm calm, everything's calm, the horse is calm, everything's good. They yell action. And you can feel because the horse is like, what? There's a tension, do you know what I mean? Something changed.

changes. Yeah. So I feel definitely put me on camera, have someone say action, and I can access something else that is so far from me. I guess it's called. I guess that's what being an actor is. Like I heard Leo DiCaprio talking the other day. They're like, do you do all your scenes high? When you're high, do you smoke the gun, when you're playing a stoner in battle, one battle after another, are you smoking? And he goes, no, I'm acting. That's what I'm like, why not? He goes, because I'm acting. And I was like, good answer. You don't have to drink. in a scene where you're drinking if you're actually an actor. Exactly.

Exactly. Yes. So, yeah, I suppose it's the, yeah. And then you do it so long it's your job and it just, it just, I don't know, I'm kind of hardwired. So when you were riding the horses, was that, were you riding the horses when you were supposed to be riding the dragons? No, I was riding the horses when I was riding the horses, but I sucked at riding

the horses. Like, thank God they put me on a dragon. And so when you were riding the dragon, what were you riding? An actual, I was riding a, this was fun. I was riding a big green kind of, imagine like a ninja turtle shell, but like very, very big on this huge hydraulic system. And it all had like moving parts on like really, really, really big scaffolding in like a huge aircraft hangar. I'm all the way up at the top. And they have it on a, on a like program, which makes sense.

Like, you know, it took a day to film two minutes worth of me on a dragon basically. Really? And so I would be up there and you'd have to look like you were driving the dragon. It's not driving the dragon, riding the dragon. No, I think you're right. I think it's called driving the dragon. Sometimes it's called chasing the dragon. Sometimes, sometimes.

And so I'm there and you have to predict what the pre-programmed thing is going to be. And then half on one of the shoots that get breaking down and they'd be giving me my notes. And I'd be like, yeah, carry on. just going to let this like ride out. It just, it was, it was super intense, but sometimes very fun. And I know you were talking publicly, this is something that if you're okay to talk about, I would love to, I know you talk publicly about being, having some, to bring aneurysms while you were filming Game of Thrones. How are you doing? How was that recovery? Can you talk about that? I mean, so the recovery was non-existent because I didn't have time. So I shot season one of Game of Thrones.

first, like, you know, pain or whatever, a job, money, doing the thing that I loved. And then we finished, we wrapped that Christmas, and in February of the next year, I have my first brain hemorrhage. I was in the gym. It was obviously a massive shock, rushed to hospital. They saved my life. I then was in hospital for three weeks. And they couldn't tell HBO for two weeks until they knew I wasn't going to die that this had

happened. And I got to the hospital. in my lucid moments was like trying to pull out the wires to be like, I got to get to work. What are you doing? Yeah. I can't. And so they saved my life, incredible, the incredible NHS. And then I had like six weeks maybe.

And then I was on the press tour for my first ever press tour with morphine. Oh my God. Yeah. It was super, it was super, super intense. But having Game of Thrones and having the job was the thing that got me. through. And then the second time it happened, that just sucked. That was just super annoying, because I spoke to David and Dan, they were like, again. Like, how did that? And the second one was a procedure that went wrong. And so that resulted in a much bigger bleed. And they had to then

do, like, I had this big scar. They had to, like, crack my head open. Oh, and that's. God. I mean, how does one get a brain aneurysm? This is just the luck of the draw. Um, yeah. So how do you at a brain image, I was born with a weakness in my arteries that's hereditary. Like if I would have a baby, I'd be like, get that baby in an MRI machine immediately. So I can see if it had. And do you have an avenue for a preventative? Like, like, this is something like that you can help do certain things to prevent? I mean, don't take drugs.

Don't do stuff that's going to raise your blood pressure. Don't work too hard. But essentially don't work too hard. I know, right, which is the same thing. honestly there's nothing there's like I'm in a very good spot I get my brain scanned every year I'm I'm in like no point note not one percent of people who survive what I've had without any real repercussions oh I'm so glad to hear that I'm so glad to hear that when you were talking about that publicly a couple years ago I was like wait what I'm like oh my god I'm working through that my I mean honestly actors put up with

more shit than anybody else like actors work through sickness and I mean I know for my I'm not an actor, I'm a comedian, but I worked through every, we act like we're saving lives. Like, I know. We work through any sort of sickness. Anything. I know. COVID was such a shock because it was the first time I'd ever, ever, ever had anyone on any set be like, you're not well. Do you need to come in? Like, you don't have to work today. Yeah, brain hemorrhages, broken ribs, broken hips. I did a whole job without realizing I'd broken my hip. The show must go on. Yeah, apparently the show must go on. So what is an ideal day off like for? for you. Like if you had your druthers and you have nothing to do and nothing scheduled, what would

it look like? Okay. So it would look like seeing friends. It would look like going for a very lovely dinner. It would look like get the papers, read my books, go for walks, go out. Are you big book reader? Theater. I'm a massive reader. Yeah. What's the last book that you've read that you loved? That I loved. I went, I did the whole of the Booker Prize list. So I'm a nerd. And my favorite one on that was this book called Sea Scrapper by Benjamin Wood. It's only itty-bitty. It's tiny and it's incredible. Oh, thank you. Are we like recommendation book recommendations for our audience. They're readers. Now, I like that you have a life hack. You talk about flipping nervousness into confidence. I feel like this is something I can relate to. So can you speak a little bit about that?

Because it's not being fearless. It's facing, it's facing fear, right? Yeah. Exactly. It's kind of realizing that that same energy that you're experiencing is excitement in disguise. So like, you know those nerves, I'm sure you don't. You're too good to get nerves before going on stage, to get nerves before, like, doing your work. But I definitely still get them. Or even just like, I don't know, you're going to a dinner and you know one person. And you're like, fuck, this is, I'm out of my comfort zone. It's the same like energy frequency as excitement. You've just got adrenaline. You've just got like excess adrenaline, which is all that is is your body telling you that you're ready and prepared for anything. And that you care. And that's kind of. And that you

care. Yeah. Although sometimes me thinking that I care can turn into like that, that ends up being the thing of like caring too much. Oh yeah. I know. Well, I had my, my therapist put it to me one way. He's like, you know, if you're nervous, that means you care. And I was like, oh, I had never thought about that. I was always in my younger years, was always trying to fast forward the, like if I had the fear, It was like, no, no, I'm on, okay. Like, you know, to just try and kind of put a shield around it and be like, I'm just going to power through this. Instead of, I think it's really important now as I'm older

to acknowledge the fear and embrace it because it just means you care. And it's not fear. Like nervousness isn't fear, it's excitement. It doesn't mean like you're going to fail. It means you're excited to get out there and that you care about what you're about to do. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. No, I think it's, yeah, how do you channel your energy?

Someone once said, how do you get your butterflies flying in formation? Yeah. What do you remember the most nervous you've ever been? It's always before I sing. I remember I did it. I sung at Carnegie Hall for Richard Flatclays leaving due of HBO. And he asked me to sing a song. And I was like, what?

To like, Carnegie Hall? Oh. So like all these people? You better deliver Cardiaggy Hall. You're famous people. What the fuck? But any time I have to sing, like I did this movie that's going to come out maybe at some point this year. And I was a singer in that.

And any time I have to sing publicly, it's fear. Like, I'm going to throw up. Like, I'm going to, like, I'm in the wings being like, I'm just going to go. I'm just going to, I'm going to leave. Yeah, yeah. And it'll be fine. Because you'll have missed this terrible car crash that's about to have. happen. I like that. I like that. It's good to know. It's good to know. I mean, I could imagine. Yeah,

whatever your main gig is, you're like, okay, I'm good with this. But any side hustle, you're like, hold on a second. I don't know. I haven't got my 10,000 hours. You're not so secretive about other actors that you're obsessed with. Like, who is your, who are you crushing on now? Man, woman, actor. Like, who are you into right now? Who am I into? Um, hey, Lou, motherfucking Richardson. Yeah, totally. Who do I love right now? I mean, Jesse Buckley forever. She's my number one, my number one girl.

That was one of my favorite books, too. Did you read Hamnet? I did. Yes. That was a beautiful, beautiful book. And she's so fun to watch Wynn, you know? Yes. And then also, I do have to say the joy of seeing Gwyneth Paltrow again is heaven.

I'm like, Gwynny's back. I know, I know. And you know what's so funny? I was like, Gwyneth, you know what? you have been talking about vaginas, you have been selling us vagina goodies, you have been interviewing people about sex, it's about time we got to see you have sex. We need to see you more having more sex in my opinion. She needs to keep her clothes off on camera for the benefit of the rest of us because she took a big break and now she's back and she needs to fully just release. Yes. And so you have sex

with younger men. On camera for all of us. Please. Message received. Okay, so we're going to take a break and we're going to be right back with Amelia Clark and... I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement. The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. Once upon a time, I was on 60 Minutes, Oprah, the front cover. of Newsweek. And you might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. So join me as I peel back the layers and expose what happened to me in the midst of conversion therapy. To shine a light on what the X-game movement does to people, and the pain it continues to cause. I had lost 150 pounds because if I couldn't control my sexuality, I was going to control my weight. It sounded like, and this is the word I used, a cult. And as I look, and as I looked at,

too at the harm I did from within. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man? This is your boy, now, bring from the Broken Play podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs are here. But guess what? It ain't the end of your season.

You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcasts with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Another team who ain't going to the playoffs, they're Chief. What's a rap? It's time to rebuild. Who's your MVP right now, then? Drake May up there, Josh Allen up there still. Oh, my boy, Matthew Stafford.

Where did his boat Knicks at? He ain't too far behind. He did all this talk. What Matthew Stafford is doing statistically, bro, is crazy. Bro, you know I ain't no Josh Allen fan. but Matthew Stalfa got better weapon. Caleb Williams. Hey, he should be in that conversation.

In what conversation? He should be in it. Listen to Broken Play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question. What do I want my life to look like now? I'm Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford.

And on therapy for black girls, we create space for honest conversations about identity relationships, mental health, and the choices that help us grow. As cybersecurity expert, Camille Stewart Gloucester reminds us, We are in a divisive time where our comments are weaponized against us. And so what we find is a lot of black women are standing up and speaking out because they feel the brunt of the pain. Each week, we explore the tools and insights that help you move with purpose. Whether you're navigating something new or returning to yourself.

If you're ready for thoughtful guidance and grounded support, this is the place for you. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. You know Roll Doll, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy? Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Doll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.

What? And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. The guy was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Played poker with Harry Truman and had a long affair with a congresswoman.

And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock, before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever? and what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids. The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Roll Dahl

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back with Amelia Clark. Okay, so now we're going to segue into the part of the show where we take some callers. They call them for life advice and then we just give it to them straight. Okay, amazing. All right, our first question comes from Eduardo. The subject line is, Chelsea, please tell me why my

boyfriend's mattress has no sheets. Dear Chelsea, I'm writing because I think I'm starting to lose my patience and maybe myself in my relationship. I've been dating someone for a little over a year. We don't live together, but whenever I go stay at his place, it somehow turns into a cleaning weekend. I end up washing his dishes, throwing away leftovers. He's forgotten in the fridge, kitchen or table, tidying his bed and trying to make the place feel halfway livable. Meanwhile, he just doesn't seem to care. It's not like I'm obsessed with cleaning. I'm really not. But for example, when he buys vegetables, he just puts them in the fridge with actual dirt still on them. He buys too much food, it goes bad, and he doesn't even bother to throw it out. It's like living in a low-budget

science experiment. We've already talked about this more than once, but nothing changes. It's reached the point where every time he invites me over on my day off, I feel this mix of discomfort and low-key anger. Like, I'm going to visit my boyfriend, but I'll be doing chores. I've even caught myself telling him, the kitchen must be clean or I won't cook, like I'm his mother, and that makes me feel kind of awful. Last week, I noticed his sheets were really dirty, so I took them off and put them in the washer before I left. Six days later, when I came back to spend my weekend off with him, the mattress was still bare. He had been sleeping on a blanket I'd left on the bed, just waiting for the sheets to dry for six days. As soon as I saw the bed, I felt tired already and honestly just wanted to go back home.

The real problem is that when I try to talk about how I feel about the mess, he tends to dismiss it or make a joke. I want to be with someone I can grow with, not someone I have to parent. So, Chelsea, what do you think? Am I overreacting? Or is this the universe's way of telling me it's time to clean up more than just his kitchen? With love and a pair of dish gloves from Buenos Aires, Eduardo. Okay, Eduardo.

It's a wrap on this. Oh, heavy. There is nothing grosser than when men do not know how to be hygienic in their own place. I had a girlfriend that was dealing with this. She was, my girlfriend was dealing with a guy. She had a long distance relationship and she went to his house. It was the same situation. She said she was so grossed out by the way he lived and how unkempt it was, like how he would, you know, like the kitchen and the sheets. It's a real sign of someone's personality when they can't figure out how to adult and grow up. You know what I mean? Like it's a real sign of like,

and then bringing it to their attention. That should be one and done conversation. Like if they're interested in maintaining this relationship and that's important to you, the hygiene of their house where you're spending time, not taking sheets out of a dryer or a washer for six days, it's disgusting. Because in their moldy also. As an adult, it's disgusting. So, like, it's not going to change. If you're, you have to decide if this is a deal breaker, it would be for me.

It would totally be a deal breaker for me. I mean, I've never been with someone gross like that, but I mean, men are men can be gross. But this is a gay man, it sounds like. So I don't know. what I was most surprised by. I was shocked to see Eduardo at the end of this. I'm like, you would expect this from a straight man, but not a gay man. You would expect this from like a heteroman, not a gay man. So, yeah. But there's exceptions to all rules. But I mean, I don't know.

Amelia, what do you think? Would you be down to party with someone? I'm just fucking kidding. No, absolutely categorically not. The damn sheets on the bed. If you don't know how to take care of yourself, how on earth are you going to take care of me? Like, uh-uh. Right. Well, there you go. There we go. Period. End of story. done. No. Clean. It's gross.

Also, buying vegetables and then not rinsing them off in the sink. Like, even I know about that. Like, that is so ridiculous. All of it is just kind of an ick. Yeah. No, but also it just speaks to like a bigger thing of this man clearly doesn't think much of himself and isn't like... Right. He doesn't sound like he knows what's up with him.

So how would... How would earth could you trust your happiness and yourself and your romance? what like you're like having sexual relations on a mattress there's no shit yeah yeah exactly all of it's just making me really deeply uncomfortable this gorgeous man needs to get out of this like yesterday also you should only have to have one conversation about a serious topic in your relationship in my humble opinion you should have one serious conversation about something that's important to you and if that person isn't receptive and makes changes knowing how important it is to you then then it's a moot point there's no point to discuss it over and over at infinitum

And that's the end of that story. What's next, Catherine? Okay, well, our first caller today is Jared. And Jared says, 10 years ago, I moved my queer black ass from the East Coast to San Diego to get sober. Then two years ago, I moved to L.A. to be in a more creative and cosmopolitan scene. I had a remote job, but that ended a little over a year ago. I spent the last year taking every possible action to earn an income, but I cannot get hired to save my life. It's almost comical at this point.

I got snubbed for a job begging groceries at Trader Joe's. My car is busted and not eligible to drive Uber. I'm 100% pro-sex work, but I don't think my 43-year-old stock would command a livable wage. My retirement is gone. That old bourbon and cocaine habit wasn't exactly 401K friendly, and there's no secret family money, and I'm in a program to help me earn effectively. Throughout all this, losing the job, losing my dog, the space away from boring desk jobs, I've seen my little creative queen come out of her shell.

I can't believe all the talent and joy I surprised. for so many years, especially writing and performing. I'm afraid to say it, Chelsea, but I want to learn to be a comedy writer and maybe do stand-up. I know I can't just start doing open mics and expect to pay rent, and even though I'm still applying to big boy office jobs, I don't want to stifle my creativity again. Now here I am. Mid-40s, broke, embarrassed that I want to start over as a comedian while my peers are buying vacation homes, living off alimony and sending kids to college. So Chelsea, how do I balance getting out of financial and emotional survival mode, while also trying to enter a new industry. I didn't move to L.A. to be in quote-unquote Hollywood, yuck,

but I did move to be more of myself. I've always been told I have a special talent and energy and that I should get hired just to be myself. I just don't know what to do in order to get the ball rolling and not end up evicted or in another soulless job in the process. Am I too old to start over, Chelsea? What do I need to do to be strong and confident to make a living, spreading light and making others feel better? Sincerely, Jared. Hi, Jared. Hey, Chelsea. Hi, Jared. This is our special guest, Amelia Clark, is here today. Hi. Hey, Amelia. Great to see you all. Oh, great to see you. Well, I mean, first of all, a couple things. Like, this is happy that you are, your letter says a lot of things. It says, like, you're in a transitional period in your life. You're also, like, you're broke and you're out of work. But while that could be, you're, like, the lowest point for many people, you're also discovering that you have some other, like, creative outlets that you want to explore. And I think that's a great thing. thing. I think you need to focus on getting a job. We need to get you a job so you have money coming in so you can pay your rent. And then comedy is at nighttime. So don't,

they don't have to preclude each other. Like you can't, you can do both of those things. You know what I mean? You need to be financially stable. That's the most, that's the main priority I think for you right now. So we need to get you a job. And then once you're like situated in that, then you could spend your time going to open mics and exploring all of the standup. You know, stand-up's not going anywhere. So, and I wouldn't worry about what age you are like people. people rediscover themselves throughout their entire lives. There's no age. Don't you agree, Amelia?

There's no expiration date of when you can become something or start anew. I think the most important thing is to recognize that you do have that desire. And, okay, now you're going to make a plan forward. Like, the job, it's for sustainability and, like, your support. It's not to give you everything in life because you're going to go look for that with comedy and other places. So I think that makes it easier probably to kind of look for more a broad. broader spectrum of jobs than maybe you were looking for initially. That's awesome. Yeah, keeping an open mind for sure. Comedy's at night. That's a great reminder,

although nighttime is hard for me. Yeah, nobody's doing comedy in the morning. So don't worry about that. You're not missing out during the day. Perfect. Yeah. Jared, I know when I was in a similar situation, like, before I got into podcasting, I was sort of like, okay, I'm going for these marketing gigs. It's like, quote unquote, what I know how to do, even though I was already like doing podcasting on the side. And finally I was just like, fuck it. I'm going to go after the jobs that are like, actually in the field I want to be in rather than sort of selling myself short going for these other things. And like, it might be an entry level thing. But at the same time, like, I would set yourself up for success and start moving toward even if it's like super, super

entry level or something really part time. Like just see what's out there in where you want to be. Yeah. I've been doing assistant work and actually sober coach companion work, which is really fulfilling and I think I'm good at it. It's kind of sporadic, but absolutely, you're right. Getting stable. I also feel like this is like the exact territory I need to be in to create some great actual real comedy. Like it's funny. Yeah. And also sober coaching is also funny, the things that you have to do. And like, and that's actually great. Like that's a nice like little panoply of things you have. Like you need a job. You can do sober coaching. Does that pay sober coaching or is that just kind of like voluntary? Oh, it does.

Really well, yeah. Oh, great. Oh, great. Family. Everybody answered your own problem. Amelia, was there anything that you did when you were, like, working and catering or whatever else to sort of make sure that you were working on your craft all of the time or not letting sort of that creative spark die?

Yeah, I mean, I think, first of all, Jared, congratulations on the incredible work you've done on yourself. That is more than a lot of people. Thank you. That should be, like, remarkable, absolutely brilliant. and amazing that you know very clearly the kind of creative work that you want to do. But I think just because you know that you want to do comedy doesn't mean that you can't do all the other creative things as well in any ways that they might move you because that's just going to, I know that when I was doing nine jobs and then like post drama school, pre drama school or whatever and you're like, the goal is this thing.

And then everything else around it just kind of sucks in comparison because I'm, just trying to pay my rent. And I think that so then if whatever other creative avenues you can explore for fun without any pressure, without any like, this is what I have to do with the rest of my life. This is, you know, whether you're like something arty or something musical or something, you know, in the kitchen or whatever it is to make sure that your soul is still being fulfilled. because I know that when I worked at a call center and a bar, I got depressed. I got sad. I got really, really sad.

Like, where you're like, I'm doing the job thing, but I get to do none of the other stuff. I'm not missing out because I'm not getting paid to do this other stuff that I've decided that's what my career is going to be. Then everything else sort of pales into comparison. So I think whatever are the ways you can do to make sure that your joy bucket is still being full. Yeah. And don't think of anything as like as permanent. You know what I mean? You kind of have to like, we always get this like idea of like the final like we don't think like I remember when I waited tables for like 10 years or seven years. It felt like 10. But like I just wanted my life to begin. Like that was like this isn't my life. Meanwhile, that was my life. Like that was my life during that time. But I didn't think my life began until I started to have some success. And I kind of like I didn't miss those moments. But I miss knowing that this wasn't forever. either. Like I was so impatient about getting where I wanted to go that it's really important to remember the ride is as important as a destination. Like what you do to get there and knowing that you're not going to be doing anything forever permanently. You know what I mean? Or a situation

you're in is never going to be permanent. So to know like you're working towards something and while you're working towards that to enjoy all of the things that go with it. Awesome. Yeah. And then also what does success in comedy look like? Because you know that fame isn't real, right? It isn't understanding, okay, on a day basis, what would success feel like being, in doing the thing that you love to do without having the like in order to you know, be, because it's just, it's not, it's not, you know, always the nicest experience and exactly as Chelsea was saying, the bits on the way there, that's the fun. That's the good time. That's the like, Chelsea, do you agree with me or no?

Yeah, well, I know you, you actually have a great quote about that, Amelia, where you talk about, like, getting what you need out of the work, right? And, you know, your reviews don't matter. It's actually, like, what are you getting out of what are you doing? Because we always, there's like, yeah, we have this kind of success system, which means we're noticed, we're famous, we're successful. And that's not the measure of success. That's kind of, it's illusory and it's not real, like Amelia's saying. even though it looks, you know, from the outside, it can look like that's what you want to attain. But it's really much more full-bodied than that.

Yeah, connecting with people, making them laugh, sharing my experience. Bringing humor, you know, making sure you're like, yeah. And you seem like you have a very high spirit, like you're on a nice high frequency. So like make sure you're bringing that, you know, with everything you do. And then it kind of all blends together. I know my life blends together, my professional, my private. All of it's kind of like. all wash together because that's the kind of vibe I want to have is like yeah I'm not you know I don't

take it too seriously I'm not precious about my work I'm like just truthful and honest and I know that's my kind of thing like I'm going to say it like it is and that's what people like about me and I like that about myself so it's like just being very authentic to who you are in the process I think is and Amelia that's something that you know I can recognize in you too you know like what you're bringing to all of these different roles and especially even in this last show she's she's on here to promote a new show called Ponies, which is on Peacock. It's just like I can see the humanity in you and everything that you do. And I would say that that is something to aim for as a creative, to be as authentic as you can in every endeavor.

And that includes the shit you don't like to do also. Yeah. That's great advice. You can be really authentic then. Yeah. Okay. Well, good luck to you. I'm so happy.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Really appreciate you. Awesome. Thanks, Jared. Bye, Jared. Thanks. It's so true what you said.

about fame, Amelia, because, you know, like, as a famous person, I know that that's not real, but you, people that are aspiring to be in this industry, that's what they think that that is the success. Yes. And it's like the thing I always say is it's vapor. It doesn't exist. You can't hold onto it. You can't define it. You can't like, because whatever fame brings you on Monday, it's going to take away on Tuesday. You don't, you know what I mean? Like, you're the flavor of the months for a second and then you're not or then like you know you don't do a bunch of stuff and people don't recognize you much and then you do and then you're suddenly back in it and you all it just all it goes to show is like it's just doesn't it's not real it's not like yeah these when like young people

come up to me and you know they want to be an actor or whatever my first thing is always can you think of anything else that you can do rather be disappointed in do that do that because if there's anything else you can do, it has to be the only thing you can do to commit to, like, levels of failure, the level of like... The rejection, the rejection and the failure. And the rejection even when you're successful, you're like, wait, what? You're like, how did that happen? Exactly.

Like, it's the same thing, but the goalposts just keep moving. They move with you. What was it like for you when you realized that Game of Thrones, when it hit the way it hit and you realize how famous all of you guys had become? was that a mind fuck at all for you or how did you handle that? Yeah, so I had a slow build into it because I was not blonde so I was unrecognizable for the first like three foot. Like for the first like three to four seasons,

I'd be walking down the street with Kit and people would be like, can you take off photo as in can I take the picture of them with Kit? I'm like, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, literally I can. You do it. And then stuff, something flipped and I think I became recognizable for the hair that I had or whatever it was. Anyway, so then as that started to progress, I used to just get panic attacks. Like, it really, it like sucker punched me in a way that I like people. I like

talking to people. I like meeting people and fame stops that from happening. So I'm bummed hard. I was like, that's, that's really annoying. That's really frustrating that like, sometimes I don't if you find it, I'm a walking conversations stopper. And go up to a table of people, you know, most of them, but not all of them. And they see you and you're like, whether or not they know me, like me, seen the work, whatever, it doesn't seem to matter. It's you enough of like an oddity for everyone to be like, huh, well, this changes things.

And you're like, okay, I'll just, don't work, carry on. Do you want to drink? I'll stay at the bar. You know what I mean? I like that. I like that what you're saying. That's, it's, yeah. We don't talk about that a lot on this podcast.

We don't talk about the actual act of being. famous and what that is because it's so rare, I guess. And it's probably not that relatable to so many listeners because they're like, sorry. No, but it's insightful. I think it's insightful for people to know because people do, I'm very regular and like, you know, people come up to me like they know me and, you know, they kind of do it because I'm not acting. I'm just kind of my own personality. But like the awkwardness, like the things that people say are always like, when people go, my favorite thing is, where do I know you from? As if we're going to sit there and list all of her credits. I'm like, it could be from this.

Or I'm just, or they go, I know you. Who are you? I'm like, no, that's not how this is going to go, this conversation. Yeah, this is making me feel super awkward. Yeah, I know you're famous. Let me take a picture. And I'm like, wait, wait, no. You don't just get to take Richard because I'm famous.

You don't even know who I am. But yeah, it's kind of, I like to make it the least amount of awkward as I possibly can for people. But people can be incredibly awkward around famous people. Yes. But I suppose the reason for me. to say it is that like we still as a culture is still coveting fame, covering success, covering money, covering all these, like how everything looks.

And I know this is enough people have been speaking about this for enough time, but still the truth of it is not the aspirational thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's not what you think it's going to be before you get it sort of thing. No. Yeah. Yeah.

There's like others, there's loads of other. things that are more fun and more important. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back and we're going to wrap it up with our last caller. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement, the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. Once upon a time, I was on 60 Minutes, Oprah, the front cover of news. week. And you might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. So join me as I peel back the layers and expose what happened to me in the midst of conversion therapy to shine a light

on what the X-game movement does to people and the pain it continues to cause. I had lost 150 pounds because if I couldn't control my sexuality, I was going to control my weight. It sounded like, and this is the word I used, a cult. And as I look to, at the harm I did from within. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to,

but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man? This is your boy, now bringing from the Broken Play podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs are here. But guess what? It ain't the end of your season.

You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcast with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Not a team who ain't going to the playoffs. The Chief. What's a rap? It's time to rebuild. Who's your MVP right now, then?

Drake May up there. Josh Allen up there still. Oh, my boy, Matthew Stafford. Where did his phone Nick's at? He ain't too far behind. He did all this talk about. But Matthew Stafford is doing statistically, bro. It's crazy.

Bro, you know I ain't no Josh Allen fan. But Matthew Stafford got better weapon. Caleb Williams. Hey, he should be in that conversation. In what conversation? He should be in it. Listen to Broken Play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast.

The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question. What do I want my life to look like now? I'm Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford. And on therapy for black girls, we create space for honest conversations about identity, relationships, mental health, and the choices that help. help us grow. As cybersecurity expert, Camille Stewart Gloucester reminds us, we are in a divisive time where our comments are weaponized against us. And so what we find is a lot of black women are standing up and speaking out because they feel the brunt of the pain.

Each week, we explore the tools and insights that help you move with purpose. Whether you're navigating something new or returning to yourself. If you're ready for thoughtful guidance and grounded support, this is the place for you. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. You know Roll Doll, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy?

Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Doll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans. What?

And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. I was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Played poker with Harry Truman and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took his talents to Hollywood,

where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock, before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever? And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids. The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Roll Dahl on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Back with the very delightful Amelia Clark.

What do we have to close out our show, our therapy session today, Catherine? Okay, well, Julia writes, dear Chelsea, from the ages of 25 to 30, I was in a really tumultuous on-off relationship. Who was it, honey? 25 to 30 is for tumult. That's an extreme understatement, but he's not the reason I'm writing in. When I finally got out of that for good, I settled into being independent and single like a fish in water. I did things for myself, went to therapy, made changes in my life, all for the better, and I did it all on my own. I was totally fulfilled for four years.

A little over a year ago, my job went away thanks to a Republican takeover in my state. I moved across the country so I could keep working in my field, and honestly, for a fresh start in other ways too. I've settled into my new life. It's definitely been harder without a big network of friends, but I like my job, I make more money, and I have made friends with a lot of my neighbors. We have a really nice little pot of people helping each other out with dogs, kids, yard work. We have group dinners, all very wholesome and lovely. One of those friends is my next-door neighbor. We spent almost every night hanging out together, just chatting in the backyard. Eventually, he told me he liked me, and I told him I liked him too. At first, I felt mad at him for ruining our backyard vibes, but when I stopped being thrown off balance, we started dating. It's been five months, and since we're on two sides of a duplex with a door in the middle, it's very much like a live-in relationship.

All these things that I thought were dead and buried for me. My sex drive, being cuddly, cooking and watching TV with another person, are all back with a vengeance. All of a sudden, I find myself thinking about him all the time, buying groceries that will make him happy, actually wanting to give him head, even doing his laundry. All my friends and family are thrilled that I'm in a couple and thriving. A lot of people had already met him as my neighbor slash besties, so they're very happy with the turn of events. We also have a year's worth of friendship under our belt, so it really feels like we've got a big head start on the whole intimacy thing. But I can't help but feel like I'm losing something it took me a long time to build, my self-sufficiency and independence. It's something that I've guarded fiercely for the past five years and I feel like it's slipping away in less time than it takes me to commit to buying a new lawn chair.

He's nothing like the horrible ex, but I don't want to lose myself in a relationship ever again. Should I just accept that this is going well and making me happy? Yes, yes. Yes. And letting my walls down. Why are you looking for problems where there are none? Your relationship that you had with that other guy is over. You're not repeating that same cycle.

You've already learned from your mistakes. I can tell by your letter. You're in a good place. This is what we do as women. We question any sort of happiness that just lands at our feet and go, do I deserve this? Once's the other shoe going to drop. Am I going to lose myself? No, you're not, honey.

You're fine. You're good. You have a good thing going. You have a guy that lives across the fucking hall from you. This is the best. possible case scenario. Just don't move in together and just keep the fucking good vibes flowing.

I love that. I mean, you are having a good time. Enjoy yourself. Guess what? You deserve it. You deserve happiness and you deserve to be in something and a healthy relationship.

And that's what you get after being in bad relationships. We get gifted with the gift of wisdom and then we start having good healthy relationships. I just started a new relationship too. I'm totally into it. I'm not questioning a thing about it. I'm like, this guy just dropped in my lap and it's totally unexpected on every level.

And I'm like, good for me. Good for me. I deserve it. That's that. Thank you. Yeah. Right, Amelia? Doesn't she deserve it?

And you absolutely deserve it. A hundred percent you deserve it. So do you, Chelsea. Thank you. Mazel chafel all around. We all parties involved. We all deserve it. We all deserve it.

You should get up. You know what's a good practice? I get up and even when I'm, if I'm in a great space, I still do it. I get up and I just write down. I have this little journal in my phone. It's like a gratitude journal. And I just get up and say, thank you for this. Thank you for this.

I'm grateful for these seven things. It can be your dog. It can be your health. It can be whatever. That you're going to be on this podcast today or whatever it is. Just remind yourself that things are going well. And then that's good. And then that becomes a pattern.

Even when things are shitty, if you can find five or six things to be grateful for every morning, you're kind of reminding yourself that you're on the right track. So just trust like that, you know, the universe has your back. Just trust that because it's true. No one's out to get you. Yeah. The only other thing I'd say to add to it is that if only to just calm your brain,

to continue to do one or two of the things that you did as a single woman for you that doesn't include this beautiful man who's entered your life, right? So that you're in a lovely relationship, but you're also able to still go to the movies on your own, go do your shopping on your own, take a day. just for yourself, be like, hey, babe, I know I'm, I know, you know, I'm right next door, we could hang out, but actually I just want to have a couple of hours to read on my own or whatever it is that you do and did love about being single, because I think that it can be, as someone who's been single a bunch in my life, I think that it can be very hard to give it up because it feels

so like I got myself together. Like, this is, this is my space, my time, my, I get to decide. all of these wonderful things. And so, yeah, when the guy does come, then you're like, whoa, hang on, this is, you're messing with my ecosystem. But I completely agree with Chelsea that like enjoy. If you're having a good time and if you keep waking up every morning wanting to see him and wanting to have a good time and give him head delightful, then, you know, crack on. Have a lovely time. But then give yourself the hours or the days or the half a minute or minutes or whatever.

it is in your week that is just doing something for you. And then that'll just calm whatever worries you might have about like losing any sense of self-sufficiency that you have. And to add to that, don't forget about your girlfriends too. So like whether that's like a standing date once a week or whatever with your girlfriends or like mates before dates. Yes. Yes. Right. Well, he's also my mate, but. Don't want me. Okay. Then we're doing, you're good. You're in such a beautiful position to start this year. This is wonderful. I think so too. I'm sorry. It's a silly reason to call. No, it's good. It's positive vibes. And it's good for our listeners to hear about that. So I'm glad you called in, but you don't have any problems. Anyway, so it was nice to meet you. Good luck. Thanks, Julia. Lovely to meet you. Bye. Thank you. You're absolutely welcome.

I think, like, being aware of it is half of the battle because so many people do lose themselves and whatever relationship they're in, right? It's like the runaway bride thing of like, she doesn't know how she likes her eggs. She just likes them, however, whatever guy she's, he's wet at the time, you know, likes them. I so thought I was the only person who quoted that ad nauseum, but I'm so glad you did too. I'm like, yeah, runaway bride, quote. The amount of times I fucking said that in my life. Yes, exactly. Okay, everybody, you can watch ponies starring Amelia Clark and Haley Lou Richardson. You can watch ponies on the Peacock Network. Amelia Clark, I'm so happy I got to talk to you. I just love you so much. I think you're just such a breath of fresh air. Thanks. Thank you so much. It was so warm. Wonderful. To meet you properly. Yes. And I hope to see you in person at some point. And have a wonderful

press tour. Keep your chin up. Yes. After talking about yourself for three days, I understand how annoying that could be. So, yeah, stay positive. I'm glad I got you on the front end. Okay. Thank you. Take care. Bye, bye. Bye, guys. The word of the week is euphonious, adjective, pleasant in sound, especially in speech, agreeable to the ear. Euphonious. Used in a sentence, euphemia is the most euphonious

of Amelia's middle names. Euphonious. Okay, guys, the high and mighty tour is about to begin. I'm in D.C., February 13th, February 14th, Atlantic City, which I just added. 15th is Norfolk, Virginia.

February 19th, Madison, Wisconsin. February 20th is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February 21st, Detroit, Michigan. Michigan, February 22nd, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of you who don't speak Canada. March 13th, Cleveland, Ohio, March 14th, Columbus, Ohio, March 15th, Cincinnati, Ohio, and then March 20th is Denver, Colorado. March 27th, Portland, Maine. March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29th, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10th is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11th, Indianapolis, Indiana, April 12th, Louisville, Kentucky.

April 16th is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17th is Mesa, Arizona. April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25th is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30th, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1st is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina.

May 6th, I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. And May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Portchester, New York. June 5th is Boston Mass.

And June 12th is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13th. So suck on that, everybody. Go to Chelseahandler.com for tickets. Do you want advice from Chelsea? write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.