Dear Chelsea - Scheduling Sex with Atsuko Okatsuka

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Atsuko Okatsuka is back to chat about the time she didn’t do laundry for 7 years, the weirdest things about touring in Europe, and why she’ll never be allowed to get another haircut.  Then: A singer sends inappropriate texts.  A sister-in-law spat needs to be dragged out in the open.  And a burnt-out lawyer hits the breaks.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, hi, how are you? Hi Chelsea, you've got some interesting looking fish behind you. I'm in Greece. I'm in Paros, Greece with my family. It's my sister's 60th birthday. So there are 12 women, 11 women here from our family, my sisters, my nieces, my cousins, my aunt and my, oh my God, am I going to say great niece? I'm not going to say that. We can fudge the numbers there. It's fine. Please, please fudge them. That's wonderful. How long, how long are you's wonderful. How long how long are you guys there? How long are you gonna be there on a Roman holiday?

We've been here for two days three days and we're here for a full week and it's beautiful and it's Grecian and we are eating the best food in the world and Our family is together and then without so like there isn't really nothing better And our family is together and without a family. So like there is really nothing better than being with all the women in your life without men. I mean, there were no men that even come to the house to like work at the house. It's all women. My aunt goes, do you only request female chefs? I'm like, no, but that's a great idea.

Oh, my gosh. I was listening to some interview with a pop star who shall not be named. And she was like, you know, usually I'm the only woman in the room. And I was like, you're big enough that that's your choice. So I'm glad that you're choosing to be with all women. Just makes things a little more peaceful. Totally. And more reasonable. Like last night, all the girls, the young girls made dinner together and they made fish tacos. And it was Jordan and Charlie and Ella. And they were all just like, it was so cute to see these little butterflies

roaming around and like going from the outdoor kitchen to the indoor kitchen. And we're just sitting there like, I'm drinking obviously, because that's what I do. And I was just observing it. I was like, this is so sweet. Watching all of the family members kind of interrelate. It's just so sweet. We have so many girls in our family. So it interrelate. It's just so sweet.

We have so many girls in our family, so it's so nice. Yeah, and it's great that everybody seems like they vibe really well, and if there is any sort of interpersonal stuff. If there's a problem, it's me. By the way, I'm always the problem. So I'm always the biggest problem. Excellent. I'm glad we're all self-aware.

We can take responsibility for our stuff. Awesome. Well, Chelsea, you know, we're all self-aware. We can take responsibility for our stuff. Awesome. Well, Chelsea, you have some new dates coming up. Yes, I'm doing, I'm adding some dates. Well, I'm doing Vegas on July 5th. So come to that. And I added a couple of standup dates to round out the year. I'm doing West Hampton Beach, August 21st. I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival September 13th, and I will be in Napa on October 3rd. So that's how I'm rounding out the year. I feel slightly guilty about being in Europe during everything that's happening in America, but I also feel like I'm gathering my strength.

Yes, you have to like sharpen the axe before you can go back to work. And also like you are someone because you have such a large following, it's like you can go back to work. And also, like, you are someone, because you have such a large following, it's like you can also still be doing the work from other places, and you are. So, I think that's great. Thanks, Tess. Yeah, we have a lovely returning guest, who we love today.

Oh, yeah, yes. We love her. And she has a new special called Father, out on Hulu, which you all must go watch. And you know how much we love female comedians on this podcast. So please welcome Otsuko Okotsuka. Chelsea, my daughter, is that you? You're my baby. You're my baby. And I'm your mother. That's right. I'm not your daughter. You're my baby. And my baby got a new bow cut because it looks very, very fresh.

Did you just cut it right now? Yeah, she's been trimming it. She's talking about your work, Corinne. This is Corinne. And if you're not watching on YouTube, just so you know, Asko is finishing up a haircut right now. I don't know if her cut actually, I thought maybe her cut her hair actually just starts cutting itself when it gets too long. Let's not talk about that Chelsea, I'd be out of a job.

Oh, okay, copy that. So there is somebody tending to it. Okay, like a gardener. Okay, got it. I'm a gardener. Yes. Thank you. I am. Yeah, no, can you believe? Yeah. This is today for I said, I'm going to see Chelsea. Let's get that pristine cut going and hi Katherine. Hi, how are you? Otzko Okotska is here everybody if that took me a long time to say that name properly and now it just rolls right off The tongue Otzko Okotska you're gonna tell me I'm saying it wrong. Are you? No, not at all. And it was and it was shell say yes, she Shelley actually

We love we love we love a woman that's always updating herself, you know? Absolutely. I mean, yeah, there's so many seasons to being a woman. It's just, it's always a surprise, your own body. Now that I'm 50, I'm like, oh God, so many different things. Like I remember when I, when I was younger, my boobs were so big, right? They were so big. And now as I've gotten more in shape and like leaner and older, they've gotten to the exact

size that I like. They're not too much. Like I can contain them. And like all of these different changes that you go through in your body, like I always heard such negative things about aging. And I have to say, I'm having a positive aging experience. And I wish the same for you, Otsuko, because I know you're not old.

How old are you? I am 36. 36. Okay, so I'm 14 years older than you. And I want you to know, well, you're Asian. So your aging experience is already going to be superior to Caucasians' aging experience. Aging is not to be confused with Asians hey happy aging month which is may happy yeah which is which is may yeah anyway you know yeah wait right i'm wondering we have we started recording yeah we're recording yes yeah he's rolling he's rolling for you

incredible no i i i was like we're catching up so good already. No, no, we're going to use all of this. Don't worry. We want our audience to know the ins and outs of all of our relationships. No, I appreciate that what you just said about that aging. I don't relate to the big boobs to the finally good boobs or like perfect size boobs.

For me, it's always been the same. Double A. Since you were born? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, which is nice. I like consistency. Yeah, and a double A, that's almost like you don't even have to wear a bra, right? Or do you? Do you wear a bra? I was being humble. I just realized I'm actually a B. Thank you. Oh, excuse me. Oh, I didn't realize that. So you've graduated. Now you're a B. Okay. And my grandma, Ds, double Ds. Who knew?

Yeah. See, some people get bigger boobs as they get older. Did she always have bigger boobs? We never, I don't think she ever was measured until more recently when we were buying bras for her. And she didn't seem fazed because it's not like she really has girlfriends that she talks about bra sizes with. So I said, grandma, what was the measurement? She goes 36 double D, like a soft flex. My mouth, my jaw dropped. And she said, what, that's not normal? I said, I mean, it's not what I have. I thought we were related. Otsuko has a new special out on Hulu.

It's called Father. By the time this comes out, your special will be airing. This is your sophomore special on Hulu and Disney. It's called Father. Now without giving away any of the jokes in the special, why did you call it Father? Well, so I do talk a little bit about reconnecting with my dad in it, but also like my fans call me mother, you know, we were talking about, well, I call you mother, but my friends call me mother. And, you know, but mothers have it together, right? So I'm more father. Right. I'm also kind of more of a father than a mother, you know, a stepfather is where I come into my own, you know.

Yeah, where we're like both thriving in life, but sometimes clueless about everyday basics, like where like the sun and the moon are different or that was you, but you know. Oh, thank you. Just to and or that I didn't know I hadn't been doing the laundry for the past seven years, like that kind of thing. Who, but is Ryan doing the laundry? Ryan is Otsuko's husband. Yes.

Who I refer to as her captor because he takes care of all things Otsuko. And if Otsuko didn't have Ryan in her life, Otsuko, she probably wouldn't even be alive. I would live outside and maybe thrive because of my personality. But Ryan is mother. Yeah, he's the one that's been doing the laundry this whole time.

We were both surprised though. It was like this devastating moment where we both realized, wait, that means you, that means it's been you this whole time. And that was a surprise to you. Yeah. And it all was a surprise to Ryan who was doing the laundry. Yes, because sometimes you just go, oh, here's fresh new laundry. And you forget that you know what I mean?

Sometimes you just don't know you're the one that's been doing it. And the times he's not doing it. He thought I've been doing mine, but I just wasn't washing my clothes. Right. I believe that. No, no, it doesn't make sense at all, but I believe you. I believe you. When I come to Whistler, I don't have a housekeeper here. It couldn't be farther afield than my life in LA or my life anywhere else for that matter. I have a cleaning lady

that comes like once a week and that's it. And my place here is small enough that I can't really blow anything up. But when I first came here for two weeks in COVID, I was washing my own clothes for the first time in many, many years. And I was using the dryer as a washer, and I was putting the detergent in the dryer, and then my clothes would come out and they were like stained and tie dyed. They were dry though. And so I was so confused because the dryer is on top of the washer, the washers, and it's like one of those stacked things. tie dyed, they were dry though. And so I was so confused because the dryer's on top of the washer, the washer, and it's like one of those stacked things.

And so for the longest time I was like, I don't understand. It's like, I can't be this bad at washing clothes. And then it struck me that I was, yes. That was a big wake-up call for me. I thought, wow, you're a real fucking idiot. Oh my God, me too. Why are we twins? Yeah. I don't know. We don't look like twins, but we have a real fucking idiot. Oh my God, me too. Why are we twins? Yeah.

I don't know. We don't look like twins, but we have a lot in common. Yes, yeah. We're literally- We're fraternal. We're fraternal. We're fraternal from different continents.

In the seventh grade, I did have blonde hair. So I did wonder. Yeah. Well, that was you looking for your real mother. So you were in the New York Times talking about the joke that changed your life. It says that there's a joke that Tig Notaro told that what was that joke from Tig? It's called no moleste if we name jokes, right? And yeah, it's just about how when she was performing in Mexico, right,

every time she's in a hotel, she puts the do not disturb sign up. But in Spanish, it's no moleste. And you just laugh if you're like an English speaker because, you know, that's scary to have to put that up every night. Which by the way, we should have signs that say that at our hotel rooms in America anyway. We should have signs that say no moleste. You know what, actually, that's very true. That joke didn't age well because these days you do need that, literally. I remember that joke from Tig.

Tig has a great joke writing ability. You do that too, because you have great jokes, but you're also telling personal stories. So you combine the two. Because there's comics that just tell jokes, set up premise, set up, and like a punchline. Whereas many comedians are storytellers. I'm a storyteller.

I tell stories and there are jokes within the stories and punchlines within the stories. But you blend both of those things together, I think, very nicely. Thank you. I mean, we all didn't live 40 years each year like you did. You know what I mean? Every time I hear your stories, I'm like,

okay, but she's only eight years old and she already did what? She's spiking people's and she already did what? She's spiking people's lemonade. You know what I mean? Like, you know, at a young age. Yeah. Yeah.

I know what you mean. Yeah. I need to blend, you know, sometimes jokes about the weather because I'm like, you know, big old things didn't happen every month. Right. Absolutely. I understand, Otsuko. So how has it been going with you and Ryan on the road?

Where have you guys been lately? I mean, I can't, I didn't see, I haven't seen you in almost like, I don't know. Has it been a year? I don't think it's been a year. I haven't seen you since we had a dinner party at my friend's house while she was upstairs in her bedroom. I know, right? We just took over her place and her dinner time, I feel like.

We were just eating your friend's tacos. It was meant for her kids and we were eating them. I was staying at my friend Allison's house. I was like, Allison, can I have some people over for dinner tonight? Oh, no, I wasn't even staying there. I just said that was a good meeting point because you guys are so far east and my house wasn't really fully done. And I was dating someone at the time.

Oh, yeah, I had my mountain man there. And I was like, oh, let's all have dinner. And I was like, this is a good middle spot. So I just called my friend and she said, I said, can I have some people over for dinner? And she's like, well, let's all have dinner. And I was like, this is a good middle spot. So I just called my friend and she said, I said, can I have some people over for dinner? And she's like, well, I'm getting my eyelashes done. And I'm like, no, no, you're not invited. Like, can I have people over for dinner?

And we're doing our own thing. And she's like, oh, oh, oh yeah, absolutely. So that was the last time I think we saw each other, right? Yes, yeah, it's like a very classic hang out with Chelsea Handler moment. Yeah, at one point we were hanging out, drinking tequilas, eating tacos. I went inside and saw kids. I screamed because for a second I was like, wait, right, this isn't Chelsea's house?

I was like, who are they? Who are they? Exactly. It's their house. Imagine how I felt when I saw the kids and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I just asked to have a dinner party here. I didn't sign up for this sort of chicanery. That's their house. Imagine how I felt when I saw the kids and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I just asked to have a dinner party here. I didn't sign up for this sort of chicanery. That's right. I didn't know we were all eating the same meal.

Oh, this is your meal. Where are you on the subject of having children? Are you ever going to procreate, do you think? No, remember, that's our sisterhood promise. Okay, I just wanted to make sure nothing has changed. Yeah, no, that biological clock they talk about, that doesn't exist within me. I don't even own a real clock. Right.

So, no, I don't, you know, that's such a big thing that supposedly quickly changes within you. No, it's not like my favorite color changing. Right, I understand that. So how has it been traveling with Ryan? What have you guys learned? Like, your relationship, you spend so much time with your husband. I mean, I don't know anyone who spends more time with their husband.

Do you guys ever fight? We do, yes, we do. But we love to… What do you fight about? Mostly, it's, you know, oh, Otsuko, you have to put the keys in the right place every time, the same place. It's very simple. You know, it's a lot of that. I do ask a lot of him because he works with me and, you know, for me.

And so, yeah, sometimes it's that. And I've been keeping up. I've been trying to be more organized because it's a reciprocal thing, right? Relationships. But we've been to Asia, we've been to Australia, New Zealand, and Europe with my tour together. And you brought your, did you bring your grandmother or your mother on one of those trips? I mean, on a couple of those trips, right? I wanted to, but honestly, they're too old now. So yeah, so it's just me and Ryan, you know, going to see Paris together, took him to a cabaret.

That was fun, you know, and so yeah Paris together, took him to a cabaret, that was fun. You know, and so, yeah, I love seeing different cultures. We love traveling together. And just based on how people laugh, I feel like you can really learn a lot about a culture, you know? Uh-huh, like what? What culture surprised you?

Like which cultures were the most surprising to you? Okay, the Scandinavians really surprised me in a pleasant way. I didn't know anything about them. I had seen the movie Frozen. It's an animated movie. I said, is it kind of like that? Because I was so worried, I said all my life, right? In America, I've had to teach people how to pronounce my name, Atsuko.

The U is there, but it's silent, right? So I said, how am I going to connect to Norway? How am I going to explain that to people in Iceland? Are they going to understand me? Are they going to get my jokes? And then I go there and they're like, bitch, my name is Dero Berg Jonsdottir. Okay. Okay. I have a one girl, she said, my cousin, I have a cousin.

Her name is Jørg for ease. Odd school is not a problem for me. I felt so seen, you know what I mean? And so I loved the Scandinavians. They're a true weirdos. You're doing Scandinavia too, right? Yes. Yes. I think we're doing like 16 shows, 13 countries.

Yes. So I fucking love this schedule. I mean, I would like a little bit more downtime in between, but this schedule. I mean, I would like a little bit more downtime in between but fuck it. I mean, I go, you know what it's like, you go at this pace and then you acclimate to this pace and then you just survive it. Like, it's like you're surviving your own tour. Right, totally. Yeah, we extended it. We did it over a month. We have the same tour people. I knew you were going to Europe. I was so excited. I was like, ah, I want to tell her all about it. And, you know, the, I ranked the countries based on shyest to

liveliest that I've performed in. Okay. Which ones are the shyest? The shyest number 28 sitting at number 28 is the Belgians. Oh, really? My opener did a backflip to silence during his set. And then he had to, that's the Belgians. He had to then walk back to the mic also in silence because he was far away from it by then. Isn't that wild? That's good to know though. That's good to know.

Yeah. I'm going to Brussels, so I'll be there. Yeah. What about the Swiss? The Swiss, the Swiss. Oh, they were pretty lively, actually. They were pretty, they were more lively. The Swedish too. And Parisians, I was told they're going to be very quiet, but they were one of the liveliest

crowds I had. They were very locals too. They're getting weirder and they're getting into English speaking standup. It's really beautiful. Yeah, I know. Because half the places I'm going, I'm like, are we sure they speak English? My friend who lives in Sweden,

he's like, listen, no one speaks English in Sweden. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? I've been there. Everyone speaks English in Sweden. He's like, nobody speaks English. So I don't know if he's fucking with me. I assume he's fucking with me cause I just stopped responding.

I don't like those kinds of antagonistic texts. I agree. He just wants to see if you'll get on stage and speak slower because you've been lied to. I know, I know. It's so hard for me to speak slowly, you know? I just don't have that clip. Even when I was recording my book,

they're like, can you slow it down? I'm like, that's not authentic. I'm like, me slowing down my talking doesn't sound like how I tell a story. I have to tell a story like this. So yeah, and so either they're going to catch on or they're not. The great thing is I'll just be in one place for each day and then I'm out. So you know, we'll see. Oh, gosh, it was my it was my favorite. Yeah, one day is enough. I feel like my opener also was newly single. So it was fun to

see him going out every night to hook up with different men. You know? Oh, oh yeah, of course. I love that. Well, I'm bringing Yamanika to a few of my dates. You know Yamanika? And she is horny, or dick.

So we are hoping to just get her plucked left, right and center throughout Europe. Europe is not going to know what hit them once they meet Yamanika. Oh my God, the two of you together arrested, jail, jail. I know, I know. We have a real hard time together, keeping our shit together. It's one bad decision after another. Yeah, you are that White Castle movie, Harold and Kumar. Kumar, yeah. That's the two of you trying to find weed in Sweden. Exactly, yes. Because I can't travel with drugs anymore because I've talked so openly about my love for them. So I can no longer transport them.

So that leaves me with having to find drugs when I get there. But luckily, my reputation precedes itself. And people are very hip to bringing, as you've seen yourself, people are very hip to bringing me drugs. And I encourage that. That's where that's the only, that's where our brands differ a little bit, where people do throw like mushrooms at you from the crowd on stage.

Right. And then for me, people show up to my shows in wigs of my bull cut. So it's a little different. I'm more, I'm more like Minnie Mouse. You know what I mean? Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. more like Minnie Mouse, you know what I mean? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. And you're like the bat.

Papa Smurf. I'm more like Papa Smurf and you're more like Minnie Mouse. I knew it. Papa Smurf was definitely a drug dealer, yeah. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Otsuko Okatsuka. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories

and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts. Every week I sit down with your favorite book lovers, authors, celebrities, book talkers, and more to explore the stories that shape us, on the page and off. I've been reading every Reese's Book Club pick, deep diving book talk theories, and obsessing over book to screen casts for years. And now I get to talk to the people making

the magic. So if you've ever fallen in love with a fictional character or cried at the last chapter or passed a book to a friend saying, you have to read this, this podcast is for you. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Don't miss the You vs. You podcast. Join Lex Borrero every week as he sits down with some of the biggest names in entertainment to talk about the real stuff, the struggles, the doubts, and the breakthroughs that made them who they are. They go deep, covering childhood trauma, family, overcoming loss, and the moments that shaped their journey.

These honest conversations are meant to take the cape off our heroes with the hope that their humanity inspires you to become a better you and therefore set you free to live the life of your dreams. Here's a sneak peek. I'm trained to go compete. I'm trained to be like harder, but sometimes that mentality stops you from stopping and smelling the flowers in your own garden. Is it wrong to want more? We migrated, our family migrated here.

I'm like second generation. Listen to You Versus You as part of My Kultura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network, hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores, and brought to you by Velvet Buck. This podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode, I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best-selling author and

meat-eater founder Stephen Rinella. I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves. So join me starting Tuesday May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The summer of 1993 was one of the best of my life. I'm journalist Jeff Perlman and this is Rick Jervis.

We were interns at the Nashville Tennessean, but the most unforgettable part? Our roommate, Reggie Payne, from Oakley, sports editor and aspiring rapper. And his stage name? Sexy Sweat. In 2020, I had a simple idea. Let's find Reggie. We searched everywhere, but Reggie was gone. In February 2020, Reggie was having a diabetic episode. His mom called 911. Police cuffed him face down. He slipped into a coma and died.

I'm like thanking you, but then I see my son's not moving. No headlines, no outrage, just silence. So we started digging and uncovered city officials bent on protecting their own. Listen to Finding Sexy Sweat on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back with Otsuko. Okay, we're going to take some callers. Catherine, what have we got?

Caller, writer in? Yeah, so this first one is a written one. This is Anne Marie. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a listener in the UK. I listen every week and love the show. This is an off-piste topic, but one that I'd love for you to answer. I'm a writer, mainly TV comedy shows, and more recently, I turned my attention to drama. I'm the same age as you, Chelsea, and I want to write a show to perform myself.

It'll be kind of stand-up, but despite my ability around creating a story, I don't really know where to start with stand-up. Do I just go to a comedy club and watch and learn? Do I just get up? My TV writing centers on complicated female dynamics, and I'd love to expand on that. I'm not exactly shy in retiring but I've never done anything near stand-up so I'd love your advice as I love your comedy and the way you present yourself in the world. I'm also super impressed slash envious by how you vacation, the people,

the locations, the edibles. Anyway, thank you Anne Anne Marie. Oh, Anne Marie, well, that's easy, Otsuko. Don't you think? You gotta get up on stage, first of all. You have to just get up on stage and you don't have to have a huge plan. You have to have like five minutes, an idea, like if you have like three or four premises. I mean, some people beat out every single joke

that they're gonna tell, and your storytelling will evolve once you start getting comfortable being on stage. So I wouldn't worry about getting into the story so much as I would be as just getting stage time in front of people and exercising that muscle. You have a couple of jokes, but they don't have to be like you don't have to have 15 jokes set up. You can take your time, like connecting with the audience,

doing crowd work, asking questions, because that could spur something in you, and that could spur a joke, you know? It's very easy to talk to people and then get a new idea about how to come back with something. But the most important thing is to get on stage. Just get on stage and start getting your stage time. Prepare like, look at this, I just got a text.

My phone just lit up, Yamanika Saunders. I swear, I swear. I watched this, this is off topic, but I wanna talk about it. I swear when you talk about people that the texts are being held in the iCloud and then they come through when your phone hears that name because your phone wants you on your phone

as much as possible, so that some of these texts are just waiting and waiting and waiting, and then when you say their name, they come up. I saw this in a movie and I didn't believe it. I'm like, there's no way they're holding the text, but I believe they are, and today is proof. So. Yeah, I swear that's the real science, yeah.

Don't you think, Ansco, don't you think you just have to get on stage? Like, what was your first time on stage like? Yeah, for sure getting on stage, but also watching a lot of it is nice. So like, you know, go catch Chelsea when she's in London, you know, like watching other people and then just the way they storytell is very inspiring, you know, if especially if you feel like stuck, right? Because then, you know, just to see someone else and how they structured together a bunch of their stories or what they found interesting about their stories

to make it to punchlines, that's really helpful. And then going on stage, you know, because just consuming other artists, I think, so good, even if it's like in the back of your head and you're like, oh, I don't know where I learned to realize the sound is funny or whatever. Oh, it's because I saw, you know, that comedian do it on stage and that made me laugh. I took a stand up class. So that was how I got up on stage for the first time. So that's a little bit of a different journey, I feel like. But you should map out what you're going to say, you know, you should map out and have

an idea if you're one of those You should map out and have an idea. If you're one of those people who needs like, and you can take it on stage with you. You can take a piece of paper up there. Don't be shy about that to look and see. Sometimes with all that adrenaline, you can kind of forget a couple of things that you wanna say, but have a plan

of what you're gonna do when you get up there. And it can be a story, it can be jokes, but just start to just use that as a way to get comfortable on stage so that then when you have longer periods of time to be on stage, that's where the storytelling can come in. But I would treat the initial time as just like a, an introduction, you know, to stand up and to have a couple of good jokes that you're willing to tell and, and try and do

some crowd work because some people don't even know they're good at crowd work until they do it for the first time and then it's great. And if you're scared of it, then try it once and see if you like it. You might not be scared of it, but definitely just put the hours in. You need the hours to get comfortable with something. Right. Well, our next question comes from Alex. She is calling in.

She's 33. So the subject line is, tips to avoid identity crisis after quitting your dream job. Hey, Chelsea, I took a gummy before writing this, so bear with me. I was an annoying overachiever my whole life. Double major in college, graduated cum laude while working the whole time, straight to law school, graduated with honors, passed the bar exam first time and got hired at what I thought was my dream job at 25. Blah blah blah gross. I have wanted to be a public defender since the moment I found out the job existed, and I started interning at my local public defender's office when I was 19.

Everything I know and love came from this office. I met my husband here, many of my closest friends, I got my insane rescue dog from one of our unhoused clients, etc, etc. However, these last two years and full-time mental health rotation, I'll spare you the details unless you're truly thirsty, reached critical mass extreme burnout. I was a pinprick away from sobbing or screaming in your face at any time. I was so emotionally exhausted. After lots of overthinking, doubting, self-hatred over the last several months, I finally made the brave, correct decision and quit. I'm 33 and unemployed, my heart rate spiked just typing that out, but I'm calling it a sabbatical to avoid a few panic attacks if I can. My therapist and I agreed, I'm taking three

months off, the first month to truly rest, the next month to get the juices flowing for what the next chapter will look like, and the third month to execute on those ideas. I'm very confident in the decision I made but shitting bricks over the next chapter. How do I handle these next three months as I figure out the direction I'm going to go? Because when I was 25, I thought this was my end game,

and I know that sounds naive as tits, but I believe that to my bones. It was my identity. How do I best spend this time disentangling from the job, the job from my identity and being okay with it? Signed while trying not to increase my SSRI dosage, Alex. Oh, Alex, you're fucking crushing it. First of all, what are you talking about? You made all these great decisions for your own mental health. You got out of a job that you thought was your dream job that proved to be mentally debilitating to you and mentally harmful to your health.

Like that is amazing. Now you have a whole, and you're 33. You have your whole life ahead of you to do phase two. Like you're an example to so many people that are in jobs that they hate to actually walk away. I think you're already on the right track. Everything you said is great. Like, of course there's gonna be some anxiety

about what you're gonna do next. But you should also trust in the fact that you just got yourself out of a situation that was harmful to you. So you are the best person to take care of yourself, which means you're gonna get to the place that you're going. And you're gonna figure out what that next step is in a natural amount of time. You're giving yourself a month to do this, a month to do that. These are all amazing things. Like you don't even need any advice from me.

Otsuko, you could probably give Otsuko some advice. Otsuko, do you need advice from her, from Alex? Help me out. Yeah, I'm like, I have to keep this bowl cut forever. Speaking of an identity crisis, I'm like, can I ever grow my hair out ever again? What happens if I lose my hairstylist friend, you know, to other clients? What am I going to do? No, but for real, you it's it's kind of like a divorce whenever someone's reached the point of having to do that. It's because it needed to be done.

Yeah. And so this realization is badass. I would just say like, I would just say clock the moments of joy that you feel when you're trying different things and different and then you go, okay, so that's a, that's what I like. It's good to start to realize what you do like now, you know, and so that's all because you knew what you didn't like. Yeah. So that's I guess it's, it's also knowing how much rest is like too much rest. I've never rested in my life. My parents are immigrants.

Let's go huge fan. I know you can relate to this. Productivity is beaten into your head with a bat. So the idea of not doing anything because I have to, and there's an expectation on the other side, but just resting is a very foreign concept. So I guess balancing what is rest and healing versus what is productive steps to be taking

because I still have to work at some point. Like I'm only 33, I still have to actually make money. Have you guys taken time like this before in your lives? Yes, I have all the time. I look at that rest as like filling up my bank. Do you know what I mean? Like my emotional wellbeing, like I have burnt out so many times in my life

and now I understand the balance. Like I understand that the rest is as important as the work. The play and the vacation is as important as the work. And so just because you're not doing anything for a month, like yeah, if you're not doing anything for six months, that's a different story. If you say, okay, I'm assigning this month to resting and decompressing so that I can get focused and get reenergized and you know, get, I almost said get fucked.

Maybe you need to get fucked too. But all of these things like fill yourself up with all of the stuff that you're going to need to get you to that next phase, which is going to be a more productive phase of actually thinking about where you want to go in your career, what the next steps are. I think you're completely healthy. And you know what you're doing? You're breaking a cycle. You're talking about your parents coming to this country and this work ethic, which is of course immigrants have.

You come to America and you want to be successful. So you can't really blame people for doing that, but you don't need to be working all the time. You need to be mentally healthy and then your work can be joyful. You want to be able to put everything positive into your work. So I totally think everything you're doing is just spot on. Thanks. Alex, can I ask what are some of the things that you're doing in this period of

active rest? Are you going outside? Are you meditating? What's in your day-to-day? It's actually really funny. I walk the dog more than he's ever been walked in his entire life. I'm reading all of the nerdy, romantic books that I never had time to read before and making no apologies for it. Like my husband comes home and I've been on the couch for eight and a half hours. And I'm very, I'm journaling and taking a lot of gummies because it helps me meditate. Like it helps you be creative and silly and non-judgmental. I'm down. You don't have to explain yourself. I get it. I'm with you.

I understand. So I'm journaling a lot and there's a huge scary part of me that realizes that maybe I don't even want to be a lawyer, which is a bummer because I spent so much time and energy and money towards this education and I feel like I gained the skill set of not having any fear of public speaking, not being afraid of grumpy old white men yelling at me because they did that every day in a robe, like that doesn't scare me in any field and I really like to write. So there's a huge part of me that wants to take a risk even in that direction and something that's not adjacent to my education at all.

Well, and as a person who like everyone in my family is a lawyer except for me, I can say like, there are a lot of except for me, I can say like, there are a lot of ways to use your law degree that like do not involve going to court that don't involve sort of like a traditional sort of like legal profession as we think about it. But also like, yeah, you have the freedom now to like reconsider, maybe you use it again in 15 years when you want to do something different, you know what I mean? It's, you know, it doesn't mean that that's a wasted experience.

And like you said, you've gained all these other tools in your toolbox. My sister was an attorney, hated it, hated working for a law firm, quit that and got a job for this health company where she was writing, she was as a lawyer, writing all of the healthcare laws, helping to create the healthcare laws around it.

So she kind of switched, cause she was like, I hate this, I hate defending people, I hate like this kind of litigation aspect. She's like, I'm going to take this healthcare degree and turn it into something else, where she can use her other skill sets, which is writing and editing and all of that stuff. So she's kind of made a different career out of being a healthcare attorney.

And you can do the same thing. You just have to find out what drives you and what moves you. And your degree is going to help you in many ways. Yes. I mean, you just listed a bunch of them. So like you should be doing a podcast where you're giving advice to people. Maybe that's your next move. Maybe that's the landmark of the overconfident only daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Dear Alex, there's no reason. Yeah. Leave it to Chelsea to try to put you back to work. She just said she needed rest, Chelsea.

OK, she's like, oh, you start a podcast, come up with merch. I love it. Thank you guys so much. OK, take care, Alex. Thank you. Take care. Well, that was fucking easy. I know that girl was already doing everything that she needed to be told to do. I know. She's doing great. And we don't think of taking these periods of rest

as like rest is part of the work. Like you said, Chelsea, we don't think of it that way, but I think it's important to think of it that way. Yeah. Yeah, no, I do. I'm a big proponent of that. I mean, how do you feel about that, Otsuko? Do you guys get rest?

Do you actually rest? You said you found the balance of work and play. I'm still finding that. But I think it's because if you're really into work and you're afraid to like rest too long, you can totally schedule it in. You can put it in a calendar, you know what I mean? So that you know, oh, this week is for play. And then

next week is for work. So if you feel anxiety about playing too hard, then you can do that. You know, just like I think you can schedule in sex. I'm a big, you know, scheduler of sex. I actually scheduled the sex between you and Ryan. I don't know if you knew that, but I actually have the one that puts that on your calendar. It's in Chelsea for seven years. Yeah, no, no wonder I was like, wow, it's very frequent this month for some reason. Yes, I decided to step things up this month specifically.

I said, we need to work. Who's making us do it from 8 AM to 8 PM? Yours truly. Thank you. Well, our next caller is Sarah. She says, dear Chelsea, I've been in my husband's family for almost 15 years and recently had a falling out with my sister-in-law, my husband's brother's wife. She's been icing me out ever since. I found out she had the whole family over for our niece's birthday and

my husband and I were not invited. In her words, it wasn't a quote party but a quote drop by with cake and gifts. I can accept this, but the problem is, now my sister-in-law will not speak to me at family events or text me back ever since I expressed my hurt at not being invited. My biggest concern is she's the aunt to my two children and continues to fawn over them while ignoring me at family events. I was in her wedding, yet I feel as though I'm being treated as a complete stranger. I've kept my side of the street clean by reaching out to her and she continues to talk to members of my husband's family, but not directly to me about what she's upset about.

I need a real bitch's advice on how to move forward from this. Do I humble myself and try to discuss the miscommunication again, or just act like nothing happened? We've been close for eight years, so this is quite the proverbial slap in the face. Help, Sarah. Hi Hi Sarah. Oh,

hi. Hi, Otsuko Okatsuka is our special guest today. Hi. So what was the falling out? What happened? Well, so the actual falling out was like, it was her daughter's birthday. And we had been texting like that morning, I had given her a gift earlier on in the week, like to give to her daughter, because I knew I wasn't going to see her on her birthday, because she was like, you know, well, we're going out of town and all this stuff. So then the morning of her birthday,

she actually sent me, like I sent her a video from my daughter, who's her cousin, saying, you know, happy birthday, hope you have a great day. And then she sent a video back of like the whole family singing happy birthday to her daughter. There was a cake, you know, there were the present, the present I had given her like earlier that week and they were all like singing and I was like,

so everyone was invited. So I responded and I said, wait a second, I'm sorry, hold on, back up. You gave her a gift because you weren't gonna be able to see her on her birthday. Exactly. And then she had a birthday party on her birthday. Yes, but when I said that my feelings were hurt

because we live three minutes away, literally right up the road. But how did you know you weren't gonna see her on her birthday? Because she said that they were going out of town. Like she's, her and her daughter and her husband were going out of town. Like she's, her and you know, her daughter and her husband were going out of town. And she was like, well, we're just going on our trip,

you know, for our daughter's birthday. So, you know, thanks for giving me the gift now, you know? And so I felt like it was kind of omitted, but then when I expressed that I was like, hurt, you know, by not being invited, cause she sent me that video. So I was like, this is kind of like really strange, right? I said, you know, I'm hurt that like, you know, by not being invited because she sent me that video. So I was like, this is kind of like really strange, right? I said, you know, I heard that like, you know, we weren't invited because we live right up the road. And then she didn't talk to me after

that. That was the falling out that there was no prior falling out. Yes. That's confusing. Is it even a falling out? Like, what is it? Well, no, the way I listened to your letter, I thought I heard that you guys had a falling out and then this was like the aftermath of the falling out. So this is the actual incident. What is your husband, does anyone in the family, has anyone conveyed to you what the issue is or why she didn't invite you or? No, I was never really given a conversation because she just didn't talk to me after that. So it was in a message with her and her husband

and he did say right away, he was like, oh, sorry, we didn't mean to exclude you, but she was like radio silent. So I was like, was it something else that happened? Yeah, it sounds like something else happened that you're not aware of. So I would reach out to her again First of all your family members. So like it's not really helpful to not be speaking And especially when you don't know what happened

So maybe you did something that you don't realize that hurt her feelings and I would start with that I would send her a text or an email or whatever's like the best way to contact her and just say I'm sorry So sorry I don't know did I do something to hurt you because it feels like I did and I want and just say, I'm so sorry, I don't know, did I do something to hurt you? Because it feels like I did and I want to make sure that I'm fully accountable, like totally just be the bigger person and ask her why she's upset with you. Like you're not responding to my texts. We've been friends for eight years. This is very strange. Please feel free to tell me if I've done something to hurt your feelings. Yeah, hands down, like good old fashioned communication,

right? Absolutely, you're part of the same family. So as long as there's not some huge rift, like this should be fixable. Right, I totally agree. Oh, fantastic, you're the best. Well, I mean, it's pretty obvious advice, no offense. Freaking obvious, but you know what?

It's been creating like just so much awkwardness, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Right, right. It's tense, like just so much awkwardness, you know, yeah. Yeah It's tense like we have a lot of family events, you know together We all live really close and then like, you know, I'll go to these events and like recently she started kind of being like Hey, you know, like maybe that's her way of trying to get a little closer But then she's still on that text and this is like going from us texting multiple times a week You know, our kids are going to the same daycare, like going to exercise classes together to, you know, now she'll

talk to me at the events every now and again. Like she'll be like, oh, hey, like at least a hi, but still like no text, no personal contact. So I'm like, I wonder if she's trying to just like show face for like the in-laws and stuff. I wonder if this is a like to pull her aside at one of the family events sort of thing and like get her face to face. Cause I feel like sometimes when people are being weird like this,

if you actually just like address it to their face, they'll like totally back down and be like, oh no, no, no, there's like nothing weird. And then it's like, well, they do sort of have to stick to their guns a little bit more. Whereas via text, like she might give you like a one word, like I'm fine, everything's fine or whatever. And then continue to be a weirdo. 100%. Right, like humanize myself a little bit. Yeah, like I'm fine. Everything's fine or whatever. And then continue to be a weirdo, you know?

100%, right, like humanize myself a little bit. Yeah, yeah, I would say that's right. I would say to do it in person so that she can't just not respond because then it's just more of the same. It's so weird to not respond, but something must have happened that you're not aware of. Yeah, you're right.

You know, and I'm like, I've been overthinking it going through it. Like I'm like, what could this possibly be? I thought of addressing it with my mother-in-law myself because she's one of the people that she's been talking to. My mother-in-law is super cool. I know that she'd be open to a conversation, but I don't want to open it up to that.

I thought I was being the better person initially by not doing that. I was like, this is between her and I, like, let's just knock it out. But I think an in-person conversation would have been better. I just thought maybe she needed space. Like, I didn't know really, you know, how to approach it because this has never happened to me before, especially in my tight knit group. You know, your rider dies. Right.

So this is like totally crazy. Yeah, I would say like, yeah, talk to her in person. If she's still, it's sort of like, then she has to either commit to like, no, everything's fine or like if she keeps acting weird after that, you got to address it again. I'm like, all right, what's the deeper thing here? Is there anything? And then if she keeps being weird, I guess just let her be kind of weird, you know, like you don't necessarily have to be talking to her the entire time at family events sort of thing,

but just know that, you know, you're still keeping your side of the street clean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because if you ask her what's up and she hasn't, and she's like, there's nothing, nothing wrong, then you're like, okay, fine. I tried, whatever. Like, I don't know what to do with you.

I don't know what happened. You're not going to tell me the truth and there's nothing else you could do. Yeah, and hopefully she will change her tune, you know? I hope so. I mean, cause I, cause yeah, I feel like I've always been a good friend. Like I did like a speech at her wedding

cause her like sister didn't want to do it, stuff like that, whatever. But there hasn't been anything I can think of that was just like, oh, I really like pissed her off. You know, it was like, just, I felt maybe she, I don't know. I've like been going around like, was she pulling back for a while?

Like they hit it straight on. And then, you know, if you, if you don't get. I've been going around like, where's she pulling back for a while? They hit it straight on. And then if you don't get the answer you like, then wait a little bit and then talk to her mother, your mother-in-law and be like, listen, I don't know what's going on here, but this isn't like a healthy dynamic. We all have kids. I wanna be friends.

I don't understand what happened. I asked her what happened. She won't tell me. So how can I, you know what I mean? But start with her and just be direct so that she has to answer you. Totally. And I'm okay with not being bestie sister-in-laws too.

We've been friends for a long time, but I'm like, it's all right if that's what it's gonna be. Us just seeing each other at the family events. It's just, there was no, I guess that would be a weird conversation for her to have with me to be like, hey, I don't wanna be as close as you know, like, can we just, but. Yeah, maybe that is it, but that seems a little odd.

Weird way to go about it, right? Will you check in with us after you guys have a conversation, let us know if things get better? Absolutely. Okay, well, good luck. Thanks, Sarah. Good luck. Bye bye. Thanks. Bye. Otsuko, you don't have a sister-in-law, right? Ryan doesn't have siblings or does he? He does. He has two. Yeah. And so that's still a newer dynamic for me too to learn.

You know, yeah, because it's like they're relatives, but they kind of are not, you know, and so it's like how much... Well, they are your relatives, Otsuko. First of all, they are. Oops. I know they're like listening. They're like,... Well, they are your relatives, Kotsuko. First of all, they are. Oops, I know they're like listening. They're like, excuse me, what are we? And I'm like, are you friends? Now you're gonna be fighting with your sisters-in-law. I had a small family growing up.

So I'm like, okay, I guess it's new. I'm still learning this chosen family versus regular family thing, you know, because I married Ryan and then suddenly I'm an aunt too. Right? Oh, right. That's a lot to figure out. It's like, well, maybe I and then suddenly I'm an aunt too, right? So that's a lot to figure out. It's like, well, maybe I'm not good at being an aunt and I'm okay. I'm not great. Yeah.

But you know what? You can always improve on your anting skills. It's a new role. So, you know, like, I don't know, being an aunt is kind of the best of both worlds. You get to be an aunt with no responsibility. You know what I mean? You get to just be like a fun infuser, which is I take a lot of joy in that. And especially I take a lot of joy when things get serious. It's like, get the fuck out of here. You know, like if you've got real problems,

go talk to your parents. No, it's true. I know you love it. Yeah, I'm just, I'm always trying, I'm still not completely me around them. I think when I can. I see. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm like still getting to know the sister-in-law. So I'm like, yes, I will not curse around you. And yes, I will give you money. And I'm like, God, I'm going broke. Sounds like a great setup. I won't curse around you and I have to pay you. Perfect.

Oh my God. Yeah. I'm like, what am I in a church? Maybe you should start swearing and then you can put money in a tip jar or in a swear jar. Exactly. Every time you swear, you get to give them a dollar. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Otsuko.

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inform the ways in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast, Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder. I'm Catherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people

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Okay, what else do we got? What do we have to wrap things up today, Kathryn? We have one quickie to wrap up with. Abby says, Dear Chelsea, I have a close friend that has recently started sending me voice recordings of her singing. She sings beautifully, but her boyfriend doesn't really care to hear her sing, so I think I'm the only one getting these, which makes me sad. I don't ever listen to them in their entirety, sometimes not at all.

How do I respond in a text to the constant voice recording messages, or should I even respond? Abby. Wow. Yeah, wow. This is a very specific... to the constant voice recording messages, or should I even respond, Abby? Wow. Yeah, wow. This is a very specific. Very specific. Very specific incident and very specific, yeah.

But it is like text etiquette, it's evolving. Well, etiquette, I mean, the etiquette is blown out the window by the person recording songs and sending them to her fucking friends. Who does that? Yeah, it feels. I mean, I guess somebody who has a recording songs and sending them to her fucking friend. Who does that? I mean, I guess somebody who has a boyfriend that won't listen to her sing, which is another problem that she has.

I would just write, honestly, I would write beautiful a couple of times and then I would stop responding. That's what I would do, but I don't know. I mean, you wanna give your friend some positive feedback because she clearly isn't getting it at home. And if she is a beautiful singer and you're not telling a lie, even if it was bad singing, I would write, that's beautiful.

And then I would write that a couple of times. I would write the same thing exactly like that's beautiful. And then the next time that's beautiful. And then I stop responding. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like when a kid is showing you a rock over and over. Yeah. That's and you're like, that's really good. That's so good. And then they're like, here's a song. That's really cute too. That's so good. And then, and then, you know, if you exactly like, you know, it's like positive reinforcement thing. It once they stop hearing

it, they go, okay, I've had my fill of feeling good. Yes, yes. I mean, I get emails, I have a friend who is like, just keep sending me emails. And she wants like our relationship ended a long time ago, and she's trying to rekindle our relationship. And I'm not interested, but I'm not I don't want to be mean. I'm just serious. Like I'm not interested in rekindling. Like it's, I don't have the bandwidth. Let's move on. I, so I, I wrote back the first time, like, this is very sweet. I want nothing but the best for you. I'm sending you so much love. I really don't have any space in my life right now to rekindle our friendship.

I don't mean that as an affront to you. I don't hold any ill will towards you, but that's how I feel. And I'm, you know, I'm pretty busy. So let's just move on in our separate ways and let go. Then I get another email, then I get a fourth email, I got four emails and I'm like, she's trying to basically harass me into rekindling our friendship. And now I have to be like, I, so I stopped responding, you know, but if I get another one, I'm gonna be like, now you're harassing me. Like I set a boundary that you're not like, this isn't the same as getting a voice memo of a song.

But either way, they're both attacks, okay? Either way, they're both attacks and you're trapped and you didn't ask for it. We all- It is, it's an assault. It's an assault. We all deserve our own boundaries, you know? Her boyfriend created one with her and now you might need to with her too. I had a friend years ago who would like actually do this in person.

She'd be like, oh, a new song for my album. And she would be like, let me just play a little snippet. And then she would play it, but she'd play the whole song and then sing it like a foot from my face to my face. And I'm like too much of a people pleaser to just like go away. But just be grateful this is a voice memo. You can listen to two seconds of this. Tell her to post it online.

That's validation she can get from somewhere else. Beautiful. You should post this on Instagram. You should post this. That's great advice. Brilliant. Brilliant. And hopefully the response is positive because

otherwise you're going to be dealing with a different friend after she gets some public public shaming. I've hooked up with a couple of guys that are in the industry and when I've hooked up with them I've had one guy show me his pilot, an episode of a pilot that he shot from start to finish and this was before we were supposed to have sex. Of course I couldn't have sex with him after because I don't want to see your pilot. And then I had another guy show me a sizzle reel from a movie that he was producing.

And I was like, you're killing my boner. Like, I don't know why people don't understand that. That's like me inviting people over and saying, watch my standup special or Otsuko inviting people over and being like, hey, not even inviting them to watch a special, say, hey, do you want to hear some jokes from my special? It's like if they did, they'd fucking come see you perform.

It's just all so like it's so unself aware. Like nobody wants to do that. It's like taking videos. I can compare it to when I'm in Whistler. I take videos for like when I'm skiing with the kids, they want videos all the time of them. They're going to jump off this or they're going to go in the park and they're going to ride this rail. And I don't fucking have time for that shit.

I'm not here to take videos of children. If I wanted to take videos of children, I would have had children. You know what I mean? I don't, I'm not the one. You go, here's a GoPro. What's beautiful is it captures your actions while you move without someone else doing it. You know, it's these things. I had a guy, I had a guy read me poetry before sex too. And I told him to say, I said, that was good. That was beautiful. That same thing you told her to do. And afterwards he goes, thank you. I'm either thinking of being a poet that travels around the world or be a cop. I said, those are two very different things, sweetie.

And by then it was like an hour in, you know? So exactly, it's like, respect, I came here for you. I'm gonna offer you my body. Yeah, my body and my choice. And you should actually, anyone who's on the fence about becoming a poet who's gonna travel the world and their other option is a cop, you should just have them become a cop.

Yeah. We need more poetry and police work. Yes, I agree. Yeah, but I don't know, his poems were intense. So anyway. Well, first of all, this is the first I'm hearing that you took another lover before you met Ryan. And does he know about it?

Does Ryan know about it? Ryan, do you know about this? You're like, well, I'll put it in the calendar, our shared calendar that the three of us share. Yeah, I want to. Yeah. I like that we share a calendar and I want to continue that. I want to continue that through 2028 at the very least. Yeah. Just put any thoughts, notes in there that you want. I have thoughts and notes for all, all of us, all three of us. I'll be the leader of our calendar.

Yes, please. Thank you, mother. Thank you, daughter. Okay, Otsuko, I love talking to you. I'm sorry that this is the way we have to catch up now. I mean, with our busy travel schedules, but I'm going to send you guys, I'm going to send you guys some dates and see if you couldn't want to come to Mallorca this summer. We'll see what you're doing. I'm only going for a week this summer, but I have a little fun group of comics, so maybe you guys can come. I'll send you dates. Incredible. Yes. Okay. Sounds good. Yes. Okay. Love you. Congrats on your new special. I haven't seen it yet, you guys, because they haven't sent it to me. So otherwise, I would be waxing poetic about how funny it is because

I know it's fucking funny because it's Otsuko and she's ridiculous. So it's called Father, and you can watch it on Hulu Disney Plus. You're incredible. Goodbye. Thanks Otsuko. Have a great day. Bye. Bye. So I added a couple of new dates.

I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple of dates just because I felt like we need a little bit more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the end of the year. And I was wrapping things up, but I thought maybe let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my Vegas residency.

I'm doing West Hampton Beach, August 21st. I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival, September 13th. And I will be in Napa on October 3rd. So those will be my last dates of the year. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay and this is Bookmarked

by Reese's Book Club. The new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page and off. Each week I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jeff Perlman. And I'm Rick Jervis.

We're journalists and hosts of the podcast, Finding Sexy Sweat. At an internship in 1993, we roomed with Reggie Payne, aspiring reporter and rapper who went by Sexy Sweat. A couple of years ago, we set out to find him. But in 2020, Reggie fell into a coma after police pinned him down and he never woke up. But then I see, my son's not moving. So we started digging and uncovered city officials bent on protecting their own. Listen to Finding Sexy Sweat on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Listen to Hell and Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What happens when we come face to face with death? My truck was blown up by a 20 pound anti-tank mine. My parachute did not deploy. I was kidnapped by a drug cartel. When we step beyond the edge of what we know... I clinically died.

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