Dear Chelsea - Season 2 Premiere: A Love Story with Jo Koy

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

In the Season 2 Premiere, Chelsea is joined by comedian Jo Koy to talk about indoor skiing, staying up ‘til 3AM, and two different versions of how their longstanding friendship turned into love. Then they answer listener questions: A newly-sober Texan wants to feel more confident at the gym. A sister is concerned when her little sis falls for a much-older man. And a straight man finds himself kissing his best guy friend.*Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, hi everybody. Oh, welcome to, what is the name of this podcast again? Dear Chelsea is what it's called. Welcome. Hi, Catherine.

Hi. Hi, I noticed your hair is all pink today. It is. It'll be a different color tomorrow. I don't understand how you get away with dyeing your hair so many different colors and then your hair remaining on your head. If I did that to my hair, I would have no hair. It's actually a color depositing conditioner, which is great. So it actually makes it nice and healthy and soft. And yeah, it looks very shiny and silky. Thank you. Your husband must really, really like running his fingers through your hair.

You know, I actually asked him recently, of all the colors of hair I've had, I've had teal, pink, purple, all kinds of things. I said, of all the colors I've had, what's your favorite? And he said, brown, very pointedly. So, you know, but he loves me anyway. So you dyed it pink. That's nice. Good for you. Good for you. Well, we have a very, very special guest today. We are actually recording this out of New York City because I'm on tour with my lover, Joe Coy, who was performing all weekend in various parts of the Eastern Seaboard.

Well, Albany we started in. That's not really the Eastern Seaboard, but it's part of the east coast. Then we went to Portland, Maine, where he had a show. And then we ended it at the King's Theater in Brooklyn last night, which was fucking awesome and a beautiful old theater. And he crushed it. And I did guest sets all weekend with him, which was super fun. And yeah, I've been talking about him a lot recently. So I thought there would be no better way to start season two of my podcast than to bring my paramour on with me and discuss our beautiful love story, Honey Bunny. Hi, Joe Coy. Oh, I love you. That was a great intro. That was so good.

Well, I thought it would be nice to share with my listeners since, you know, I always am talking about how fucking stupid and annoying men are. And I know a lot of people think I hate men, but that's really not the case. I hate a very, as Joe actually put it, I hate, do you want to finish it? I hate a very specific kind of guy, right? I don't want to finish it. No, he doesn't want to finish it. He just... Because there's certain things that only you can say. Well, no, you're a guy, so you can kind of speak to it. Oh, I can. I can say whatever I want.

And you're also Filipino, so you can say whatever you want right now. Yeah, so I'm kind of like an X-Men. This is your free zone right now. Yeah, you're right. Now's my opportunity. But you said, somebody was talking about me on something you did, and I heard you say, they said, doesn't Chelsea Handler hate white men? And you said, no, she hates a very specific kind of white man. So, and I don't hate them, but I dislike them a great deal. But I'm so excited to be with a man that I don't hate, is what I'm saying. And that, obviously, this is very helpful for all of our

listeners who probably agree with me or feel the same way I do about men, which is a little bit hopeless and a little bit frustrated that there isn't a better selection. And then I found out that the best selection was just standing right in front of my face and I didn't even notice it for a really long time. And I know you did. Well, I know that's your version of things. Why don't you actually tell your version? That's actually the best version is my version. I'm excited to hear it. Why don't you extrapolate that on that, honey? Your version of since since let's take people back in case they're not familiar with the fact that we've known each other for a very long time. Yeah, we've known each other for a very long time.

Six months, seven months, six, seven months, 18 years. 18 years. 16 years. Vaguely. Joe has a lot of memories. Let's be honest. Joe has a lot of memories that I do not recall. Hers are lost. She had them, and then she lost them. I have a six-month memory.

I think the furthest you go back is eight hours. And then everything's a blur. She's like, what happened at midnight? No, that's not true, honey. First of all, wait, first of all, let's start this. What makes me sad is that you don't remember any of the things that I remember. And in my head, it's such a beautiful story. And then when I'm finished telling it, you go, really?

That happened? It's a cute story though, because, so Joe was on my show, Chelsea Lately, my very old show that I had for seven or eight years and which was super fun. We had a lot of fun on that show and we had a lot of comedians on that show. And Joe was like one of the top comedians that was always on because he always delivered and he was always funny and always sweet. And we had a good repartee going all the time. You interpreted that as a sexual flirtatious repartee. You're not going to do this. That is exactly what I'm talking about. You had a crush on me for a really long time, honey.

The world had a crush on you. No, you had a very specific crush for a really long time, honey. The world had a crush on you. No, you had a very specific crush on me. We had good chemistry. Our chemistry was amazing. Yes, and you thought that chemistry was sexual. Never did I ever say that. I thought it was comedic. Catherine, are you listening to this?

Catherine's listening. She's the producer. She has to listen whether she wants to or not. No, that's not how it went down. Okay. We just had, our chemistry was so not. No, that's not how it went down. Okay. We just had our chemistry was so good. Yes, that's true. Our banter was organic.

It was genuine. Yeah. And I think the fans saw that. I think everyone knew that. Right. Whenever I was on the panel, they knew that Chelsea and I were going to go at it and it was going to be fun. Yeah.

It wasn't going to be scripted. Right. But it was abusive on my end. Very abusive. I abused you. Hey, but you know what? That's what therapy's for. Therapy? Yeah. What do you mean? You being on the show was like therapy getting abused by me? No, no. After the show, I was going to therapy. I went to therapy after the show too, but about 10 years. But no, I was abusive with him, but that's kind of... But it was fun. Well, it was fun for you because you have a great attitude about everything, honey, especially with regard to me. In retrospect,

I realized that it was abusive in a very schoolyard playground kind of way. Yeah. Kind of like when the girl has a crush on the kid, on the guy. And that's what it was. You had a crush on him. Okay. Well, okay. If I had a crush on you, I didn't know about it, but if you believe that's true, what's happened so far in our relationship is that Joe's version of things eventually becomes my version of things, because I eventually capitulate and just... Wait, wait. Are you saying

I'm manipulating you? This is manipulation? No, you have a narrative, which is always positive, sunshine and roses, and then eventually I just get on board with your narrative. Anyway. Why don't you tell Catherine what you think I did? This was a plan.

Okay. Let me tell you my version of things. So she thinks I had this, there's an outline to this 18 year strategy that I've done. This was all strategically planned. Put together a timeline. Joe had a vision board. Okay. And he had, and then he manifested all of this. Exactly.

So there was a trip to Hawaii, and then there was a picture of Chelsea right next to it. So let's just say the trip to Hawaii I crossed out 18 years ago. I'll tell you my version of it, because it's really cute. And again, I just want women to understand, like, if I fell in love with somebody and I feel this way and I'm so excited and, like, committed and devoted, then I really do believe that there is a lid for every pot. And that's not the most romantic way to frame it. But I do believe that, like, women shouldn't ever, first of all, you should never be desperate about meeting somebody because that's not how you meet somebody. You should just make sure you're keeping your eyes open with A, the people who are already in your life and B, the people that you may not look at that way or think of that way, but you do really have a lot of respect and caring for because those feelings can develop into something else. And I thought for sure that would never

happen to me because truthfully, I felt like you were like, you know, brother energy, which is funny because you do have my brother's energy, my brother that passed away. You have a lot, he has a lot of similar qualities that my brother had. So in many ways, like I just feel so completely safe and I feel like, oh, this is family. Like I, I've always felt that way about you, that you're family. I just didn't want to fuck you before. But so what happened was, so Joe had a book called Mixed Plate that was being released before the pandemic, right? Right before the pandemic? Right before it. Yeah.

So bad timing, actually. It was really bad timing. Bad timing. So please get yourself a copy of Mixed Plate, okay? And then send it to us and we'll both sign it. And he asked me for a blurb, right? He texted me. I hadn't heard from you in years, right? Years. I said, of course. And he sent me for a blurb, right? He texted me. I hadn't heard from you in years, right?

Years. I said, of course. And he sent me the book, right? She read it in a day. Yes. Like she always does with books. I don't know if you guys know this, but she has a library stored inside her brain. Wow.

And that's the truth. You always have a different book with you. And the next day, it's like another book, another book. You'd rip through them. Catherine, I did a quote that Bert Kreischer sent me a quote, right? Just like this motivating, motivational quote. Honey, just so you know, you don't do quotes. You read a quote. Okay. I know. Just let me finish this one, please. And then you'll be right for the rest

of the show. Okay. Okay. And then, so he sent me this quote. I read it to Chelsea and then she knew exactly who the quote was from. And it's just like, that's, that's who Chelsea is. Marianne Williamson. It was a Marianne Williamson quote. And you know, I read it. And by the way, the way I read is not good. So for her to understand what I was saying, anyone in this relationship is going to read something. It's going to be me. That's good. Hey, hon, I already, I already told the world I can't read. Okay? You don't have to. Honey, you have so many other talents. You can read, just, you know. Yeah,

just not well. Well, that's not, yeah, it's well, actually. That was good. Boom. Well, anyway. Yeah. Back to my literacy. But, oh, no, and then I asked her for the quote, and then she goes, okay, I'm going to write this for you. Excellent. Yeah, and she wrote this amazing quote. And then I asked her for the quote. And then she goes, okay, I'm going to write this for you. Excellent. Yeah. And she wrote this amazing quote. And then he texted me and he said, can I call you? And I said, not if you're going to hit on me. Why don't you tell him what I really said?

You said. Because you go, I go, can I text you? And then you go, not if you're trying to fuck me. And then I go, God, Chelsea, do you think everyone just wants to fuck you something like that I don't think you wrote that but you said god Chelsea of course not I have I have it stored oh yeah good good let me go back a year go through our text chains for the and finding that one okay any anyway so then we started talking yeah you started calling me yeah and and then you came over to my old house one night.

We hung out. We got stoned and we laughed on my couch, but it was COVID times. So we definitely kept our distance. Until we hugged. Well, we hugged, but we had masks on. We had masks on. So we hung out at my house. Yeah.

And we had a great time. Really fun, right? We laughed our asses off. I bought her an expensive purse and she said, return it. He bought me a Prada little purse and I said, you could take that right back because, I mean, you know, I'm not going to wear a purse that says Prada on it. I don't like labels like that. Yeah. And you were offended, of course, but we had a fun time anyway.

And then I went to Whistler for three, four months. And then we FaceTimed all the time because you were up my ass while I was in Whistler. And you were so excited about my skiing and you were jealous of the skiing, right? And I said that I ski. Yeah, he skied. And then he skied in Vegas.

So that's a different kind of skiing. But skiing, it's snow. And then there's sticks on my feet. Okay, so it's skiing. There's no difference. What am I skiing down? Sand dunes? I don't know. Are you? No, it's snow. But it's an indoor skiing resort.

No, it's not indoor. I'm not at Minnesota. I'm not at the Mall of America. It's not indoor? No, it's outdoor. It's on a mountain. I thought it was indoor skiing. You thought it was at Circus Circus? Just going down Black Diamond? Anyway, that happened. And then you sent me a bunch of flannels, which were really cute because

my brother Chet that I talked about in my book and I've talked about on this podcast, used to wear flannels all the time. And even when he passed away, I remember I would go into his closet and he had this like curtain in his closet and I would go in there and just smell all his shirts because his smell never really went away. And then Joe wears flannels all the time, but I never really made that connection, but there is very something warming to me

about a man and a flannel. But her compliments always came to me and I didn't realize it until like later when we started getting serious. But every time I put on a flannel, she would always compliment me. Yeah. So like she'll be at Whistler and I'll be in Vegas and I'd have my flannel on. Cause he was going skiing indoors. And she goes, oh, you look good in that flannel. You should wear flannels more, more often. Right. But we were just friends

talking. Yeah. Yeah. But you were in love with me at that point probably, right? Did you? Were you, honey? Tell the truth. You can tell the truth. I mean, we're just doing a podcast. I mean, who wouldn't? Well, a lot of people wouldn't.

But you, you. No, I've always loved you. Oh, you're so cute. I told you. Yeah, of course. Oh. Yeah, of course. Aw. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast,

our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

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It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know, and one thing that I treasure the most with Chelsea is her friendship. Because she's such, when you get Chelsea to be your friend, it's going to be the most solid friend you'll ever have. So you want to secure that, you know? So I always wanted to make sure that she was happy and I just wanted to secure our friendship because I loved it so much. So I didn't want to do anything wrong. Get it, Catherine? Yeah. You don't want to spoil the friendship. Yeah, because I'd rather have her with me as a friend forever than trying to make something happen

for a weekend. That's not worth it to me. What was it that pushed you kind of over the edge into romantic feelings? It's when she roofied me at a bar. Honey, I would never waste a roofie on another person. I would only give that to myself. Yeah, it's when she roofied herself. Excellent. I was in Whistler for three months.

Then he was coming to Vancouver because Steven Spielberg saw Coming in Hot on Netflix. One of his three specials on Netflix. And he gave him a movie called Easter Sunday, which comes out next year on April 1st. Awesome. Which is fucking awesome. So I was in Vancouver, but it was at the height of COVID. So nobody could come in and out. So even though he was going to come and ski if he could, we couldn't do that. So then he was filming his movie and he's like, oh, calm down. You can have a role in and out. So even though he was going to come and ski, if he could, we couldn't do that.

So then he was filming his movie and he's like, oh, come down. You can have a role in the movie. And I was like, oh, that would be so much fun. But it didn't work out because I was leaving Whistler. And then I would have had to come back to Vancouver where he was shooting his movie and quarantine for another two weeks. And at that point, I was quarantined out and we weren't in love yet. So I didn't, she wasn't willing to do that until I did. Yeah. But I'll regret that because the movie is going to be so awesome. And I saw the trailer and he's seen the movie and it's going

to be awesome. And Tiffany Haddish is also in it and a bunch of other, and it's just a great representation of Filipinos and it's fucking funny and it's got heart and all of the things. So then I didn't do that movie. So we didn't see each other for about four months other than FaceTime. Right. And then we started hanging out when we were home. But yeah, I guess it was very organic. I remember the minute we both got to L.A., we were like, let's go to dinner. You picked me up at one and then that would turn into like a seven hour margarita festival. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, Catherine, but before she was dating me, bedtime for Chelsea was 5.40 in the afternoon. So she was done at 5.40, pajamas at six, Xanax at seven, and then New York Times at 4 a.m. And the day starts again.

Yeah. I went through a phase where I went to bed at around eight and woke up at around five. And that lasted through all of ski season. And then when I came home for a little bit, then I started hanging out with you and that changed my schedule. Went from lunch to like lunch to coffee and then lunch, coffee, what are we having for dinner? And then it went from lunch, coffee, dinner to let's have a drink. And now it's midnight. Yeah. Now we're just spending time with each other. And I go to bed now. What time did we go to bed last night?

Three o'clock in the morning. 3 a.m., yeah. Oh, wow. That's a real radical shift in your schedule. Yeah, no kidding. So there's not a lot of compromise going on. It just feels like I'm adapting. I just want to tell everybody

that I traveled on a tour bus this weekend. We flew to New York. We took a tour bus with seven other guys flew to New York. We took a tour bus with seven other guys. Who love you. I have a great crew, Catherine. Yeah, he does. I really do have a great crew. Yeah. Like we're a team, like legit a team. We all have great roles and I can't do anything without these guys. I really can't. They're all great. Yeah, they are good. And they're not assholes and they're not bro-y. They're just all good human beings.

The point being is that I slept on a tour bus for you, which is something that I hoped that would never happen to me. And she said that to me. She goes, oh yeah, tour bus, not going to work. Yeah, I told him everything I've told him that I wasn't going to do. I've done. Yeah. And now guess what she said yesterday, Catherine?

She goes, I'll just leave this shirt here and these shoes on the bus. So now she has her own closet on the bus. Yeah. And so that's the story, baby. Yeah. It was kind of cool how... You didn't answer Catherine's question though. So when did you, you said organically, but you never gave a straight answer about when you started having romantic feelings towards me well i mean other than always having them i had to make the first move because i knew joe respected me too much and was never going to do anything well tell her what happened in vegas well yeah vegas is when i was like oh i would love to you fell yeah yeah you know, she was beautiful on stage. I was performing at the Mirage and he came to see me. And we had been hanging out all that whole week. And every day was just like a romantic comedy, watching people like frolic around Santa

Monica. Come and knock on our door. Come and knock on our door. We've been waiting for you. Did you hear that harmony? No. You hear it? He also thinks I can sing and dance.

That's how much he loves me. He can't even see me clearly or hear me clearly. It was after a lot of hanging out and a lot of really fun times. Like we would just laugh our asses off and be silly and stupid and, you know, end up at the pier playing air hockey or in my house playing ping pong or. Or how about you getting a little hammered? Yeah. And then not having a house key. Oh, right.

Right. Oh, that was good. One night. And then you telling me that you left the purse at the bar. We heard that story. I think we've, I've told that story. Oh, yeah. Let's not repeat it.

Yeah. I think I did. I think that was a very pivotal moment right there. Pivotal. Yeah. Why? Because that was a night where, you there. Pivotal? Yeah. Why? Because that was a night where, you know, like I didn't know what was going on with you. I dropped you off.

I thought you had a key. I saw you. Like I always make sure someone gets to the door. Right. I always do that. Yeah. And then you left me at the door. No, but I saw you go to the door.

Right. So then when I saw her go to the door, she's got a bunch of trees, by the way. So I saw a silhouette of her going to the door. And then, so I hurried up cause I had to hurry up and get back to Santa Monica before the bar closed. Cause she said, I left my purse there. So I just hurried up, raced over to Santa Monica. And as I'm going there, she goes, where's my key? I'm like, what do you mean? Where's your key? And she goes, I'm locked out. I'm like, Oh my God, let me go get your purse and I'll be back. So I went, look for the,

she didn't tell you this part, did she? I'm looking for the purse for an hour, asking a bunch of people if they stole her purse, asking security. I go, you were, and then there was a group of people that were sitting at the booth next to us.

And then when we left, now they're sitting at our booth. So I'm now I'm like, did you guys see a purse here? Because she said she left her purse here and then no one said they had the purse. So I'm just like being a detective at this place. And finally I just left. Now I'm calling her. She's not picking up the phone. So now I think she got into the house, but I don't know if she got into the house. I kept calling her and calling her and texting her, texting her. While I'm asleep in my room nope nope see she didn't tell the she didn't tell the story i went home and got my son because

i left my son i left my my son's been waiting for he's he wanted to like go out to eat or something so i went home got my son the minute i pulled up i go hey man i think chelsea's outside of her house and she's not picking up the phone i went to go get her purse she said she didn't have a key home got my son the minute I pulled up I go hey man I think Chelsea's outside of her house and she's not picking up the phone I went to go get her purse she said she didn't have a key I don't know if she got her key but she's not answering my phone calls or texting and my son goes let's go let's go see if she's there yeah so now it's my son and I going back to her house and we're literally yelling out her name at her house because she's not there.

Oh, by the way, she has this little, what is it, that statue? Like a little Buddha statue. She has a Buddha statue, like a little waterfall right by her front door. So when my son went up the stairs, he went, oh, Chelsea. It was, oh, it's not Chelsea.

It was a Buddha. But she was like, Chelsea, oh. I'm sitting out there meditating in the middle of the night with a waterfall. And then, so we're yelling Chelsea and then I'm like you know what I think she's in because all our lights are on by the way all the lights are on in her house and I'm like I go you know what I think she she finally got in so then we left cut to the next day she calls me she's like I fell asleep by the pool oh So you couldn't get in. On a pool chair.

And then she had a footprint on the side of her ass cheek. I told you I slept in. She had a huge bruise on the side of her thigh. No, no, no. That's from a different thing. I told you I slept in the treehouse, which was a lie. I didn't. I told him to make him feel bad.

I go, you know I had to sleep in the treehouse last night. And he's like, oh my God. And then I was like, no. And then I realized he had come back and done all that. And then I felt bad. I said, I was just kidding. Oh, so you did go inside? Yeah, I was inside. You never told me that. I know. I know, honey. I forgot. But that was sweet. I mean, I don't know if that's a good story to be sharing, but sure. You know, who fucking cares, right? Who cares? Who gives a shit? You don't. I can tell you that much. Yeah. And Vegas was leading up to Vegas. He was like, I'm coming to your Vegas show. I'm coming to your Vegas show. Cause he does have a house in Vegas also. So you spend a lot of time in Vegas for tax evasion purposes. That's not why, cause I have

family. Thank you. Right. That's the other reason he's got family. And we, and you walked in and I just remember seeing him and being like, oh, oh, okay. Wait a second. Something's happening here. And then. She liked my outfit. I liked your outfit, but I just liked how attentive you were to me because I was performing and I was nervous. I hadn't really done a big show yet for the new

tour. I had done a bunch of practice shows, but not in front of like a proper audience. And he was just so attentive to me, like the whole night backstage, everything, just making sure I was okay. And I remember my sister going, you guys are like acting like a couple. We went to dinner and we had, yeah, we were with Hannah Einbinder and Alex Edelman are my opener. Hannah from that show Hacks opened for me and her boyfriend came and we saw them and we had some other friends there and then we gambled after the show and that was really fun.

And then Chappelle and all those guys came to the show at the very end and they were going out in Vegas and I was like, I don't really want to go out. I wanted to just stay with my people. Plus we had plans. We were already planning the gamble. And then we gambled and he thought my sister was giving him the eye because we were getting touchy feely. And we had bet on that fight that you and McGregor, we lost on that fight. Is it you and McGregor? Isn't that an actor? No, it's yeah., it's just Colin. Okay, well, maybe he was in a fight too. Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor. Okay, so exactly.

That may have been why we lost, because I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. Yeah, same here. So we bet on that fight. We both lost. And then we... Well, we both lost, but what did I do? You made sure that I got all my money back.

Exactly. That's what he always does. We took out money to gamble, and then he always puts the money back in my purse, even though I've lost it all. Which is a really, really cute thing, which is a really cute tradition, honey. Yeah. It can stop.

And so you were hanging out in my room, right? Yeah. In Vegas. And I said, do you have a crush on me? If you do, you need to let me know because I need to respond to it. And he was like, Chelsea, don't ruin everything. You ruin everything. And I was like, all right, well then good night.

And then you left and then you came back because you lost your keys. And then you sat there and you just waited for, you said, I'll wait for you to sleep, fall asleep. And I fell asleep and he just sat there and waited. And then I heard him walk out in the middle of the night. And I was like, God, is he ever going to make a move on me? And then I just remember thinking, oh, he would never do that

in Vegas. Like, that's not his style at all. Plus we were drinking. If I was going to kiss her, Catherine, I didn't want it to be because we were both drunk. Yes. Right. How cute is that? Yeah. I mean, what guy says that? So then... Well, I mean, wouldn't... Like, that's the right thing to do when you're in love with somebody. No, it is.

I don't want my moment with you to be a memory of us being hammered and shit faced in Vegas. And that's why we made out. Especially after all these years, the build up and everything's got to be right. Yeah, it's got to be right. Right. So it was. Yes. And so he did that, which was also made me more attracted to him.

And then I remember waking up and going, fuck, I don't want to leave. I want to go with him, you know, and drive back. Yeah, that was cute. She left a video message saying, what time are you going to leave? Because I'd rather go back with you. But I didn't. I ended up flying back because he was going shopping. He loves to go shopping. Now I have to go love to go shopping. But then it was the next day in LA on a Monday and we went out, we went down to Koreatown and we had a really fun night. And then I think I, yeah. And then I made a move. I just said, listen, what is the fucking situation?

First I said, do you want to hold my hand? And you, while we were driving and you were like, yes. And then I was like, okay. And then we got back to my house and I made a move and said, listen, let's get this show on the road already. That's great. So that was it. Nothing happened that night either. No, no.

He didn't let anything happen that night either because. We were drinking. Gotta find the sober window. She literally put her foot on my face and she goes, kiss me. But you did kiss me, honey. I did kiss you. Yeah. So that was good.

And speaking of drinking, guess who hasn't been drinking for, well, now it sounds like I have a drinking problem after these stories. I know, but it sounds like it. Anyway, I've started my 30 day alcohol cleanse, sobriety cleanse or whatever from Mallorca because I had sangria for breakfast a lot in Mallorca and I got back and thought, but I got so many DMs from people who were also doing the 30 day alcohol detox with me. So what day am I on? Eight or nine? I don't know. 10, 15. Let's just say eight.

Well, when this airs, it'll probably be like 14. So, but it hasn't been hard at all, probably because I'm with you and Joe's not even, Joe only drinks if I drink. So he is fine not drinking. If I smoke a joint, he'll smoke a joint. If I don't smoke a joint, he doesn't smoke a joint, right? You could take it or leave it all of it. Right. So that's good. That's good for me. Anyway, that's our love story, guys.

Hopefully it wasn't too annoying. No, not at all. Catherine? Yes? Should we start with some callers? Hold on. I want to ask a question. Okay, sure, honey.

I think I'm allowed to do that, right, Catherine? Yeah, absolutely. So you really never had not even an interest at all. Is that what you're getting at right now? This whole love story, not even a tad, not a little bit of an attraction from day one. Well, this is what I'll say is that, first of all, I don't think I was in touch with my feelings enough to understand what those feelings were. I would say by behaviorally what I was doing would indicate that I also had feelings, but didn't know how to, they weren't registering. So I think by going to therapy, like even when we were talking for the

last year, like I still had that same energy with you because historically that was our energy, which was like felt like you had a crush on me and I was in charge and I could kind of just do whatever. And you would always be smitten or like taken by me in a way like that's how I felt. But now, in retrospect, I realize that those feelings were probably, I just was suppressing them. I was just not, like, in touch with myself to understand, oh, I knew I liked talking to you and I liked having you in my life because you're so positive and upbeat and it's infectious and I loved all of that. But I wasn't, like, had this desire to have something happen.

No, I wasn't thinking about that at all. I just thought, oh. And by the way, who gives a shit? Because look where we are now. So if I, you know, I would have ruined it if I had those feelings earlier, probably. Yeah, I think we're at a better place, both of us. I would have sexually assaulted you.

It would have ended with you crying in a corner. Yeah, trying to file some sort of police report. Always. And no one taking you seriously. You want to hear something else, Catherine? Yeah. I didn't show Chelsea this, but yesterday, John Lovitz texted me. Oh, yeah?

I didn't show you, yeah. So I'll show you this. This is what he wrote me. This is last night at like midnight. I'll do it in John Lovitz's voice. You ready? He goes, how'd you meet your new girlfriend? You're welcome.

Glad you're happy. I went, ha ha. Thank you, John. No problem. Cash, please. Are you still funny? I go, I'm selling out multiple arenas. So yes, he goes, Jesus, that's awesome.

But basically the reason why that's funny is John's the reason why I met Chelsea. Did she tell you that already? No, honey. That's another memory that I don't have. See, she doesn't remember this either. John was doing a show at the Laugh Factory every Wednesday night and I was opening for him. This is like 16 years ago. Whatever. 16 or 17 years ago.

And then all of a sudden he goes, you have to meet Chelsea Handler. She's hysterical. She's my only friend on MySpace. And then I went to MySpace and it was literally just you. That's all he had. And the other guy,

I think it was whoever the other guy is, Tom or whatever. Forget top eight, it's just Chelsea. Yeah. So it was just Chelsea and that's when we met was through John. Yeah, yeah. So I don't remember that either, but I do know who John Lovitz is.

So there we go. I have a memory of him. Anyway, thanks for listening to that, you guys. Fantastic. Should we take a quick ad break, Chelsea? Yeah, why don't we take a quick ad break? Honey, you can start reading my ads for me, okay? Yeah.

Okay, great. Bye. I mean, see you in a minute. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by.

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Honey, get ready. Get your therapy cap on, OK?

Yes. OK, Catherine, who do we have on deck? So our first question for you, Chelsea, comes from John. Is it John Lovitz? Hello. It's not John Lovitz, but he's from Texas. He's 32. He writes, Dear Chelsea, first of all, thank you for this hilarious and practical podcast.

I absolutely love it and applaud the work you're doing for your listeners. Here's the issue I want advice on. My phobia of the gym. More specifically, my worry when working out at the gym that I'm being judged by others. I recently signed up for Planet Fitness, and I love their leave your ego at the door philosophy. However, I still can't shake the feeling that I'm either trying too hard or not hard enough. I know it's in my head, but I'm in my early 30s and want to get my body right for my health. And side note, he is just over 40 days sober as well. Oh, wow. Well, that's going to be a big boost. Okay. Hi, John. Let's see you. Hi, Chelsea. Oh, hi. Well, that's going to be a big boost. Okay. Hi, John. Let's see you. Hi, Chelsea. Oh, hi. Hi, how are you doing? Hi, where are you? I'm in Weatherford. So I'm

west of Fort Worth. So it's in Texas. Sorry about that. But you know, seriously, don't sorry that you won't be able to get an abortion there. Oh, my goodness. Did you meet my lover, Joe? Joe's here today, too. That's your lover? Yeah, that's my new lover. Yeah. Hi, Joe.

Hi. He also doesn't use the gym. Okay. But yeah, anyway, I think, first of all, great job on not drinking for 40 days. How did you decide to do that? Kind of had it decided for me. My body was like, you can't do this anymore. So I got out of that period. And I was like, Okay, you have to commit to it. And I did. And I'm happier than

ever. It's the best feeling. Yeah, it's the best feeling in the world. Like I get to take my dogs out all the time. We go to the lake, and we just walk around. And I'm like, what are people doing all day? Like, I don't know. It was just, it's'm so clear and I have so many things I can do and I'm so excited about life. And so that's a big deal for me. That's so great to do that. I've gotten because I'm doing a 30 day detox. I've gotten so many DMs from people who are struggling with alcohol and the idea of even giving it up, you know, and I think if it's if it's that hard to even give up, then that means that you need to consider it. Right. Yeah, it was hard. I didn't want to give it up. And then once you give it up and I'm in a better, a lot better place now, I don't regret it. I don't look back. But getting through that first period is not easy. I'm still in the beginning of it, but I'm like, so like, I couldn't even dream that I would be where I'm at now with that whole

thing so yeah so that's great and then I have I'm starting a new job this week what are you doing for your new job oh I'm gonna be working at so it's a hotel working at the front desk so that's great and I'm really excited and I just got my degree from Arizona State in May so like I'm on this whole like just resetting, you know, I was trying again with life. And you know, I really feel good about it. And the gym thing keeps coming up where like, I go and I feel, I don't know, I just don't belong. I'm 32 now. And I'm like, if I can get this together, then you know, I have everything else is kind of I'm kind of getting in line. You know, if I just get this body, then, you know, I have everything else is kind of I'm kind of getting in line. You know, if I just get this body right, that's going to be like just the best thing for me.

Yeah. Well, first of all, you do not have to give a shit about anybody in the gym. Half of those morons don't know what they're doing either. And there's no harm in asking people like if you need help with something. Nobody loves to give people help more than white, straight guys at a gym. So if you need help, you shouldn't be shy about asking for it because it kind of ingratiates yourself to others, you know? And if you don't, if that's not your issue, is your issue, you just feel intimidated or is that your issue that you don't know what you're doing? Well, I have like an access.

So it's like one end. I'm like, what am I doing here? I'm fat. I don't belong here. So the other end where I think I'm like hot stuff and like, I really know what I'm doing. And so like, I'm always in between there somehow. And then I end up on like the elliptical for like 30 minutes. And then I go home because I'm like, oh God, I can't do any of this other stuff. I'm going to look ridiculous. And I just, and I feel like other people feel this way.

I can't be the only one. The things show you how to do them. Like the machines that are not like free weights, like the ones that, you know, they'll show you how to do them and stuff. And I just feel like, Oh God, if I go down there, I'm going to be ridiculous. And people are going to be judging me. First of all, do you have to remember everyone at the gym is there because they're worried about how they're being judged. So don't worry about them judging you because everybody's thinking about themselves. So just remember that just like you're in your head, everyone else is in their head. Also, secondly, there are so many apps you can download that can teach you how to do these things. Like, do you have the Peloton app or like a tonal fitness or one of those?

I don't have those yet. Uh, actually the planet fitness apps does some of that stuff. They have like videos, but Peloton, I watched Tik TOK and there's that guy on there. I don't know if you've seen, but he's really funny. And I think he does Peloton. And I was like, oh, I should do that. Cause I think you can do just the membership and you don't have to have a bike. No, you don't need the bike. You just get the membership. You play it on your laptop or an iPad or whatever. There's like 10 minute and 15 minute classes. They do like, you can do upper body, lower body, you can do abs, you can do all of that, but just doing cardio, A, if you've lost weight recently or anything like that, too much cardio is never bueno. Like, you know, people think that's the way, but like once you've lost the weight, you want to, you want to tone up, right? You want to be lifting weights and doing

that stuff. So any of those apps will teach you how to do these exercises. You know, they're, these aren't difficult things. They're so easy. And you just have to have a conversation with yourself before you get to the gym because you do belong there. That's what you're doing. You're going there to get yourself healthier. So, and fuck everybody else. Don't worry about other people, you know, spend a little bit less time on social media and a little bit more time on like boosting yourself and telling yourself how great it is. All these changes that you're telling me that you've just made are incredible. That's incredible that you stopped drinking for 40 days. You have a new job.

Look how happy you are. You're like glowing. Right, honey? I'm very happy. Yeah. You know, I was thinking about, I was like, Instagram does not help me with this whole situation because like everybody I look at on fitness or on Instagram, they're all wonderful looking.

I'm just like, those are called filters. Yeah. Yeah. They're called filters. Those aren't real people. By the way, you said something about being 32. One thing you got to always do is never use your age as an excuse. Right.

Right. Just enjoy the moment that you're in. Right. Like you're in a healthy position right now and you'd stop drinking, man. A lot of people take forever to even get over that hump. Right? Yeah. So it's like,

that's amazing. That has nothing to do with age. It's just like your mental fitness is beautiful right now. So maintain that. Don't sit there and go, I'm 32 and I'm going to be 33 next year. Oh my God, I'm going to be 40.

What are you doing? There's, there's no re your whole life is in front of you, man. So don't, don't look at it as a year-to-year thing. It's just your life. Who gives a shit how old you are?

And also positivity breeds more positivity. So when you're positive about yourself and like you're really, you know, feeling yourself, that's good. You're attracting people. You're attracting people to that energy. And, you know, when you're having those negative thoughts about yourself,

you're negatively pushing people away. So keep that in mind. That was great. 100%. That's so true, man. People feed off of that. When you're positive, people want to, they want to taste the juice you're drinking, you know, without you even trying to sell it. It's just, it's just you. And everyone wants to be around that space. Like, yo, what is this guy on? You know, but if you're moping around and depressed, people don't want to be around that space. Like, yo, what is this guy on? You know? But if you're moping around and depressed, people don't want to be around that. That's not who I want to be. And that's not who I am naturally. And like this, like, that's what I was saying.

This is going to help me get past that hump. Like, who cares? Fuck them in the gym. You know, I'm here for me. Y'all are here for yourselves, too. It's not like anybody's going there to watch people. You know, like, it's in my head, I guess, that I'm thinking that. And it's just, you know, like it's in my head, I guess, that that I'm thinking that. And it's just, you know, and that's what my college roommates like got over that real quick.

They never had this issue. And I'm like, I can't be the only one who's like a little shy, like on the workout machines trying to do too much or whatever. But no, I I am a positive person and I'm going to take this advice and I'll probably go to the gym right after this. Actually, I'm feeling it. And don't be scared about making friends at the gym. I mean, you're so likable. Like go up to people, you know, get help from these guys or from girls or from whomever. Just be like, hey, I'm new here. I don't really know how to use this machine.

I guarantee you, you will have no problem getting help. And that's a sweet, endearing quality. So yeah, keep spreading positivity and everything's going to come up roses. Yeah, especially with that hairline. Look at your hairline. Thank you. He doesn't have a hairline. I don't have a hairline. Yeah. Yeah. He's losing. He lost his hair when I was like, when I shaved his head a long time ago and sold his hair. But anyway, good, good luck with everything. It was really nice to talk to you, John. Thanks, Chelsea.

Thank you. Thank you all so much. Follow up. Let me know like six months down the road, how it's going and what happened with your gym experience and all that stuff. Okay. Keep in touch. Yes, ma'am.

Thank you. Okay. Bye, cutie. Oh, look at him, cutie, honey. That was nice advice, honey. And I love it how he always smiled. Every time he spoke, he smiled. Yeah.

Our next question is, Dear Chelsea, I think I'm in love with my best friend. For context, I am a 22-year-old male, and so is he. We've been best friends since the seventh grade, and he's always been the one person I can count on. After high school, he joined the service and was gone for three years. We stayed in touch as much as we could, and since he's been back, he's been staying with me. About two months ago, we were both drunk and somehow started making out. I don't even remember how it started. I just remember not wanting it to end. I've always told people I was straight and always thought he was. I've dated girls before, but I've never felt anything like this. We haven't talked about that night at all. The day after, he began seeing this girl, who he's been spending the majority of his time with ever since. I feel like he purposefully makes it evident to me that it's nothing serious with her and he's just having fun, but I don't know how to take that. It's like he has this huge wall up ever since we kissed and I

don't know what to do. Should I try to talk to him about it? Should I tell him how I feel? Should I take his sudden interest in this girl as my answer? Please help me. I have no idea what I'm doing. Austin. Oh, God. Yeah.

No. Yeah. You got to talk to him and say something because obviously if he's dating. Yeah. No, you have to clear the air and understand what the situation is. You absolutely have to have a conversation with him and it can't be over drinks it has to be in the light of day and sober and him being with a girl is trying to send you a message but who knows what he's thinking i mean you know like there's so many men that are feeling that way

about other men but don't think they're allowed to have that behavior and i, it would be easier to talk to him to understand the dynamic about their friendship, but you have to have a conversation. You have to clear the air and get it out there and don't pretend what happened didn't happen. It doesn't matter if you were drunk or not, you know, be the bigger person in the situation and just, and whatever his answer is, if he's like, I'm not interested, that was one night, then that's fine. That's it. That's fine. Accept that as his truth for that, the time being, but at least then you have your answer. Honey, do you have any advice for these two? I think it's done with that guy. I don't think there is a future there. Well, but they're best friends. Yeah, they remain best friends, but that's why when you're in love with somebody or

you have that type of feeling, I never want to act on those feelings when you're not sober. Yeah, but it's too late. He already has. I know, and this is what I didn't want to act on those feelings when you're not sober. Yeah, but it's too late. He already has. I know. And this is what I didn't want to happen in any relationship. I never want to go in without a clear mind, right? I don't want to act on what I was drinking that night. You know, it's never real love at that point.

Right. So your advice is to don't do that again. Don't hook up with him again drunk. Just don't let that happen. Yeah. If you ever have feelings for someone that's bigger than just a friendship, don't act on it when you're not clear minded, right? Like when you're drunk, that's not a good time because you're going to find yourself in this situation because the other person probably didn't even think of it that way. It was just a hookup. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. Okay. So stop getting so shit-faced all the time. Problem solved. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us

the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's gonna drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today.

How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a caller.

She's here with us. She's 27. Elizabeth is a caller. She's here with us. She's 27. She's in Tennessee. She said, Dear Chelsea, I do not like my sister's partner. My sister Alice and I

were members of a gym. It's another gym-related one. Members of a gym where this man, Michael, was a staff member. For the first several months of us being introduced

to Michael, he was known as the creepy guy at the gym. At the time, my sister had just turned 18 and was a senior in high school. Michael was 30 years old at the time. Alice, who's naturally more friendly and outgoing than I am, eventually began defending Michael when I would state that I was creeped out by him, but I dismissed it as typical friendly Alice. There were early red flags,

like him convincing her to go off important medication and a secret camping trip, before I found out they had secretly been dating for the entire summer. Now, three years later, Michael has not made any effort to get to know our family. When he picks her up for dates, he sits at the end of the driveway, doesn't come to the door, etc. I can count on one hand the number of times he has held a conversation with my parents and me. Alice has also cut herself off from friends, so she has had minimal interaction with anyone but Michael. Speaking for myself, I cannot accept him. I can confidently say that my sister was groomed by him during a vulnerable and transitional time of her life, and he has knowingly isolated her from everyone but himself.

Now Michael is moving out of his parents' house, and Alice will be moving in with him. How do I continue to work on my relationship with my sister when such a large part of her life upsets me so much? Elizabeth. Ugh. That's terrible. That's such a bummer when your sister gets hijacked by an asshole. Hi, Elizabeth.

Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How about you? I'm good. This is my lover, Joe Coy. Hello, Joe Coy. He's our guest today. We're just talking about love. And I guess so are you because you're talking about the love for your sister, right? Yes. Somebody just came up to your window and then walked away. Do you have a drive-thru? She's kidding. She's like, hold on, I got to fill this bag up with an order. So is your sister younger or older than you? She is five years younger.

Okay. And how many other siblings do you have? It's just us. Just the two of you? And you've always been pretty tight? We've always been pretty tight. This kind of overlapped with me coming home from school and her going away. So there was that transition happening.

And so he kind of swooped in right as she was becoming one of my peers in a way. And so it's just kind of gotten a wedge into this relationship. And your parents feel the same way that you do? Yes. Yeah. Other than her knowing that you thought he was creepy at the gym and stuff. Have you had a real conversation with her sitting down and expressing the concerns you have about his relationship with her and your family?

Yes. And in the beginning, there were definitely conversations that we had expressing our concerns about this relationship because of the age gap and just the different stages of life there. And it was just so icky. What of the age gap and just the different stages of life there. And it was just so icky. What's the age gap again? So she was 18 when he was 30. Oh, 12 year gap. Now the age gap doesn't necessarily mean as much, but.

But she's what now? 20? 22. Oh, so they've been together for four years now? Yeah. Oh, that's too. together for four years now? Yeah. Oh, that's hard to break up. I know. What is it about him that you hated?

Like just what's the main thing when they first started dating? Was it the age? It was, I felt like he swooped in at a impressionable time in her life. And it was very opportunistic. So like her first weekend that she went away to college, he came and took her off the grid basically. And he hasn't ever validated that we had reason to be concerned for her or that we would feel somewhat offended that he didn't make any sort of effort to get back into our good graces. So it's that character flaw. And there are

other examples. But is he a bad guy? I mean, like, that's not great behavior. But is he? Yeah, he doesn't have the greatest personality either. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's not enough of a reason to make somebody break up with somebody because somebody's personality isn't good enough. Right. Yeah. I'm not going to say the age isn't a thing as well but 18 isn't a good time for you to be yeah you should i you know the rule should be wait till she has experiences you know i mean like at 22 and he was 30 yeah i get it but like 18 you just got out of high school man you don't know anything else but high school. I get that and I can understand where your concern was.

But is he a bad guy? He's not a bad guy. See? I just need to know how to move past those feelings I have about him and move forward with my sister. I don't need to like him, but I do want

to have a relationship with my sister. I mean, you don't have to like him, but I do want to have a relationship with my sister. I mean, you don't have to like him, but it's going to suck for your sister. It's like, yeah, you want to mend that relationship with your sister, but how do you mend something when you go, I like you, I just don't like him. So it's like, I guess every Christmas I'll just see you for like an hour and then you go back to him. What happens over the holidays, like Christmases? Does he come? No. He doesn't?

Mm-mm. So she comes by herself? Does she go see his family? So up until a couple weeks ago when she moved in with him, she had still been living at home. She switched to all online classes after meeting him. And so she was living at home while he was still living at home. So we haven't really run into that. Is she traveling back for holidays yet? And where are they? How far away are they from where you are? They're about two hours away, kind of out in the country in a small town.

Yeah. I would say you need to figure out a way to A, just focus on the love you have for your sister and keeping your family intact, because that is a responsibility that everyone in a family bears like you are responsible for communicating and making sure that you are just reciprocating right and it's unfortunate but the reality is that she's been with him for four years now she's two hours away so you've got to just lay off disliking him and focus on loving her, you know, and making sure that she knows if and when the time comes that she is ready to like jump ship, that you are going to welcome her with open arms and not. And I told you so.

We never liked him. She already knows that. She knows you don't like him. I've dated guys that I know my family didn't like and no one said anything. And I still knew. But I think you dated guys that you didn't even like. We've all dated people that we didn't like. Do you have a boyfriend or a husband?

No, I don't. Okay. So I think you should just focus on your relationship with her, you know, even overdo it to a point to make sure that you're filling in for any sort of love she may feel like she's missing. Because usually when you end up with a guy like that, and he doesn't really have any interest in knowing your family or getting to know your family or doing stuff like that, it's because he's trying to just isolate you and you have your own little bubble and that's not good for family. So like any sort of chasm that you create or space that you create between her is going to be a price that you guys are going to pay, you and your parents are going to pay because she's just going to be pushed further into him, you know. So you just want to make as much of an effort even with him, even if it's fake.

Just make as much of an effort as you can, you know. Make the effort to go see her for the two hours. Make the effort to see them both for the two hours so that it's demonstrated time and time again that you will keep showing up and that whenever she is ready, if and when, she knows that she can come to you and it's going to be a safe place and that you'll support her instead of her being in a situation where she feels like she doesn't have any family to reach out to. And how are your parents dealing with it? We've all pretty much fallen into that, like, we can't protest too much because then she

won't have anywhere to go. So it's kind of like that. they're obviously not crazy about him but and have you guys ever talked about having like an intervention with her at some point we have talked to her before and it just doesn't do any good it pushes her away closer to interrupt i'm sorry we're still sounding like this is a horrible man right like you know like i have no offense chelsea but like have you guys had an intervention it's like what are you having an intervention on like she's still in love i mean we can't say she's not she's not being held hostage you know what i mean like yeah the the situation was a 12 year old a 12 12 year gap, but it's like, they still been together for four years. And it's like, I don't know,

maybe there's a time where you guys have to like, Hey, can you bring them over and let's have a dinner? Let's, let's all get to know them. I think that's more of an effort that you need to do for your sister because she's in love and she fucks up. And in 10 years from now, she's like, God damn it. He was an idiot. Just be like, you don't have to say I told you, but you knew we were here for you. But right now she's in love. Right, right, right, right.

Intervention is a wrong word. She's not being abused or anything like that that you're aware of or anything. I knew what you meant. Yeah. Yeah. So that you're right, honey, this time. And you should. We had an intervention last week.

Yeah. It's called agua caliente. That's our safe word. I think you just have to overdose her with love. Just be there for her, make an effort with him. Even if it makes you sick, you just have to be the bigger person, right? You're a big sister. And this is an opportunity to act like a big sister. Just be there for her in spades over and over again. Make sure that you're always communicating with her so that she knows you're there. And the same for you, if you can talk to your parents to do the same thing, because when people feel that they retreat, if you feel like, oh, my friends don't like my boyfriend, then I'm not going to bring my boyfriend around my friends. You know, you know what I think would be cool, Elizabeth? It's Elizabeth, right?

Yes. I think you should. My name is Chelsea. Are you talking? Oh, okay. I didn't know who you were talking Yes. I think you should. My name is Chelsea. How are you? Oh, okay. I didn't know who you were talking to. It's nice to meet you too. I think it'd be kind of cool if you go, what's your sister's name? Alice.

You should call Alice and go, hey, you know, it'd be fun. You, me and your boyfriend go get something to drink and let's just hang out. Or eat or go do something. Let's just hang out. Just initiate that. It's not like I want to get to know him or is he better or whatever. Just like, hey, is it cool if we hang out one night? Watch how she acts and watch how he acts.

It's probably going to be a completely different situation. You're probably going to end up liking the guy. Well, maybe. Maybe, but I mean, it's worth the shot. It is worth a shot. Because what you're doing isn't working, right? Like for you guys, having all this kind of negative energy towards him isn't working. He feels it, she feels it. And that's why they're probably two hours away. So if you can just reverse all of that negativity

into positivity, even if you're there and you're at dinner with him and he's not saying anything, it's just like, instead of having those negative feelings, have positive ones. Like, oh, how can I engage? What kind of question can I ask him to make him start talking about something? What's happening and transpired so far hasn't worked. So you have to completely try a different approach. And I guarantee you, you'll get different results. With every different approach, there are different results.

And mind you, the more you don't like him, the more she's gonna like him. I know. Yeah, that's also a problem. I had that experience with one of my friends once and we all told her and then they got married. So that doesn't really work either.

That doesn't help at all. Especially when there's really no legitimate reason not to like him. It's just his personality seems lame. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. So does that help you at all, Elizabeth? It does. And you're right. I need to focus more on just being positive about the situation and... Yeah, just think about... Yeah, yeah. I need to focus more on just being positive about the situation.

Yeah. Just think about, yeah, yeah. Really do try and think about that, how you can kind of flip the switch on that. There's a lot of meditations too that help you do that to get all the kind of negative stuff out and replace it with positive stuff. It's important to do that. Like I have that issue a lot with respect to certain things. And I just try to always be like, okay, anytime there's a negative thought, I try to replace it with a positive one. You know, another thing too, Chelsea, is when you spend a lot of negative energy on something that doesn't have to do with you,

you start neglecting yourself. And that sucks. She'll just love you so much more if you are just really reaching out instead of withdrawing from him. Especially if you make an effort with him, that's indisputable when she sees that. And now blood's thicker than water.

It's like, my sister, now she's going to take your side. Because if he denies the lunch, then she's like, well, you know what? Then she's fucking right. You are a piece of shit because she asked you out. Get it? I get it. Thank you. Do you have Venmo?

Because we're going to actually charge. We don't charge on this podcast. Okay. That's a private thing that you do on your podcast. Do you charge people on your podcast? Well, Elizabeth, if you can just send me your Venmo, I'm going to charge you just for my portion. I'll drop it in the chat. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you, Elizabeth. But check in with us. Okay. Check in with us later and let us know what happens. Okay. Thank you. Okay.

If they ever break up, we'll have a big party. All right. Okay. Bye. Bye. Okay. We're going to take If they ever break up, we'll have a big party. All right. Okay. Bye. Okay. We're going to take another break so Joe and I can make love. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal?

The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too?

Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel

might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joe, you look like you need a little advice. Yeah. Do you have anything that you need to ask me? Yeah. How about if I just ask you, I deal with a family that holds grudges

and I feel like every time I say it on stage, I'm not the only person. I'm not alone. I feel like it's very common within my community, my people. Yeah.

You mean Filipinos? It's kind of like in our culture, it is a thing that grudges are a big thing. How do we deal with that without destroying the family? I told you I'm going to talk to your mother directly. No, but I mean, even in general, like I'm pretty sure not just Filipinos,

but everybody has that conflict within the family where there's a grudge, but no one's able to talk about it, but there's this grudge. Yeah. You know me, I like language. So I am always for communicating and overly communicating until, you know, you wear somebody down with language. I know what you're talking about personally. And I know that it's not obviously a Filipino thing. It's a world thing.

People hold grudges against each other, but it can be stronger in different cultures. But, you know, you can't go to a dry well for water, right? Like? What's the point? But there's a different avenue always to get what you want. Being in a relationship with me, there's different ways to go about those things. So whatever you've done thus far, it doesn't work. And it's time to think of a new avenue. Yeah, you got to be willing to talk to somebody that wants to talk though. And that's what sucks. Yeah, that got to be willing to talk to somebody that wants to talk, though. And that's what sucks. Yeah, that is what sucks. So how do we conquer that? Because with you, the relationship with you is great because you love to talk.

And when you see something wrong, you want to finish that right away. Right. And I love that about you. We'll talk about it right now. We're not waiting. Right, right, right. But I would encourage you to do that with your family members, too. Like, not on the phone. Show up, like in person and being like, listen, this is it. Let's have

this conversation right now. Let's sit down and talk. Don't walk away from me. This is it. This is our moment to get this out in the open. I'm serious about it. And I think sometimes when people try and do that over phone calls or texts or emails, obviously that doesn't work. You know what I mean? But face-to-face, it has a different impact. And like, it is important to sit down and look someone in the eye and say what you're feeling because people have to see your emotions and they have to see how much it hurts you that a grudge is being held and how baseless that is and how short life is and how small

that behavior is. So I would just say, talk. I would say, just push it. You know, the next time you're in a position to confront that person, go and go out of your way, set aside the time and go and have that conversation because you'd be surprised, you know, people will just give up and that's half the problem. Yeah. I think people hate swallowing their own pride too. Well, they do. People hate to be wrong.

Yeah. But if you know that, then you already have an advantage over the person that hates to be wrong, right? You know that so you can act in a bigger way. I love that. Great. Problem solved. Okay. So thank you for joining us on our season two premiere episode, Joe Coy. It was a pleasure having you as usual. And what else do we want to say, Joe? Oh, you know what I want to say to girls out there who have guys in their lives that they think are their friends or that they don't necessarily feel like there's an attraction or they feel like a brother dynamic.

I would really encourage you to just really consider how important it is to have somebody who loves and respects you. Like that is bar none the most important thing that you can get from another human being, nevermind somebody that you're in love with. So that is the foundation of everything, right? Is love and respect. You want to be seen and you want to be heard. And if you have somebody in your life that is like that and you think, oh no, please be a little bit more open-minded because I'm the happiest I've ever been. And it's because I finally had an open mind instead of a closed one. So I think we can end on that. I love you. How's that? I want to end on that. Thanks for coming, Joe. Joe and I are going to go to the airport right now. And then we're going to spend six hours looking at each other from across an aisle on a plane, probably,

while he takes pictures of me, because that's what our last flight was like. Yeah, it was. And then she looks like she's building a nest. That's what her seat looks like. There's bags, there's papers. I put it in recline before we even take off. I have my pillow ready. There's blankets, extra pillows.

Put my socks on. Snacks. Snacks. A TV that doesn't work. Even though it does work, it's not working. I can't work it. Anyway, that's enough. Thank you.

Have a great week. We'll see you next week. And if you want to see more of Joe, you can come over to my house. Or you can find him hosting Metal Shop Masters, which is on Netflix. And it was released September 10th. And please buy his book, his autobiography. It's called Mixed Plate Chronicles of an All-American Combo. And also you can buy tickets for his Just Kidding World Tour.

If you've never seen Joe Coy perform live, you need to go because it's not only a standup show, it's a fucking concert. It is so fun. And he sings and he dances and it's like, oh my God, the vibes are so fun. Oh, and everybody, I am performing this weekend. I am picking back up my Vaccinated and Horny Tour. If you don't have tickets, please get them. ChelseaHandler.com. I'm going to Norfolk, Virginia, Hanover, Maryland, and Northfield, Ohio. Two of those places I've never been. So that's October 7th, 8th, and 9th. I will be coming to Virginia, Maryland, Ohio. So please get your tickets.

I can't wait to see everybody. Okay, guys. Thanks. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor,

what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition sign Jason bobblehead the really no really podcast follow us on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts