Dear Chelsea - Season 3 Premiere: Not Very Maternal with Katy Perry

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

In the Dear Chelsea Season 3 Premiere, Chelsea and Catherine pay a visit to Katy Perry’s recording studio to talk about the elusive maternal instinct, being forced to hug other people, and the practical use of *medicinal herbs*.  Then:  A girlfriend can’t seem to stop yelling at her boyfriend.  And a twenty-something worries her new guy will judge her for her former partying lifestyle. * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

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Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. Hi, Katherine. How are you? Hi, Chelsea. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know what? Katie really prepared for us. She made sure she had a new soapbox. Yes. But this is a good backdrop for us. Maybe we should move our studio over to here. I'd love that. We're recording right now from Jim Henson Studios, which is very exciting. There's lots of Kermit the Frogs everywhere. I also didn't connect the dots when you kept mentioning Kermit via text, the relationship to Henson Studios. It never once occurred to me that it would be Jim Henson Studios.

I know. I thought it was being all cute, too, because I was like, Chelsea, just meet me by Kermie. I know. I'm like, what? What the fuck is Kermie? I'm like, is that a street? How are you, Catherine? I'm doing great. I just got back from Mexico. I went on a little girl's trip to play a Mujeres and it was delightful. Oh, oh, oh. You know what? Mr. Coy and I went on a little jaunt to Mexico. You did? Yeah, we did. We just got back from Mexico. We went for a few days and we went to Cabo because we didn't have, we hadn't had any time in the sun. And after he devoted so much time in the snow to me, I have to just give in to his every whim, which means I have to go to Cabo

like, you know, every two, every two and a half months, which is no problem. Yes. Yeah. Is that one of his favorite places to be? It is now. It is now after this trip, he's like, Oh, this is awesome. We did a couple's massage. He loves that shit. Yeah, that's really, he isn't a fan of a massage. He likes the fan of anything we can do together. Oh, you know, it's one activity after another together. Juntos, as they say in Spanish. Do you get to a point where you want to be separados? Well, I don't I don't want to be separated. But when we are separated, I don't hate it. I'm not upset that we're separated. We're separated a lot when we're on the road.

So when we come back together, that's a nice, you know, it keeps the honeymoon phase going for a while. But yeah, he definitely but Joe's a person that also likes to be, he wants to be around his son or he wants to be around friends. Like he's not going to sit in his hotel room alone for three hours. I am. Yeah. Eight hours. Give me eight hours and I'll still need more time alone. Like I'm down. And you love him even more when you come back. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I definitely have, I have an active alone relationship. That's a good way to say it. Well, there is something nice about that.

I know my husband, Brad, went on tour a few years ago and he was gone for like four months. And I thought I would just be kind of devastated because we're a little, let's say, interdependent, maybe not codependent. It's a healthy way to put it. Yes. But I was like, wait, it's really nice to have the house to myself. It's really nice to just do whatever I want all day. Like, it was great. And then I was happy when he came home, too.

Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. It's very interesting to see people who enjoy alone time versus people. Because I used to never be alone. And then I got a taste of it during the pandemic. And I was like, oh, I like me.

I like alone me. Yeah. I was into it. I was like, this is is a good time I'm having a good time with myself like we were both on the same page yeah you can do your secret single behavior just like maybe be a little messier than you would normally be like a little lazier than you'd normally be and that is the one good thing about Joe is that he's so fucking messy that no mess I could make is worse than his. You know, we're both kind of a hot mess. Oh, but I always felt before I had a serious boyfriend, I just always felt like, oh, it would be nice to have a boyfriend that wanted to spend all of his time with me. Yeah. So I remember that anytime I think, wow, this is a lot. I go, just remember you thought that would be nice because it's better than the opposite. You know, a person who wants to

avoid you and is like constantly making plans. Oh my God. Because it's better than the opposite. You know, a person who wants to avoid you and is like constantly making plans. Oh my God. It's way better than the opposite. Yeah. Like anytime I'm available for anything, Joe's right there. He's like, let's go. And he's like game to party. Yeah. To have a good time. Yeah. He follows my lead. Yeah.

And that's a good setup for me. Do you find when he's not there that you're sort of missing the rapport that he brings to the table? Like if you're out with friends or are you feeling like it's great? Yeah, no, he definitely adds a nice little slice when he shows up at things. Like with my girlfriends, we went to a party the other night. And it was so funny because I said, oh, you know, my friend was saying, oh, I said, don't tell all of our drug stories to Joe. Do me a favor. When you meet him, he was coming to meet us at a party and they go, drug stories? I go, he's coming tonight. There were four girls,

friends of mine. We all worked on Chelsea, the show on Netflix together. So we traveled all around the world together. So there was a lot of shit that went down. And my friend goes, drug stories, this is a mushroom party that we're going to. It said mushrooms on the invitation. And it was my invitation, but I looped my girlfriends in because we were supposed to go out. I go, why don't we all just go to this party together? And I go, really? Did it say mushrooms? I was like, I didn't even see that.

And they're like, that's classic Chelsea. Like, you don't even know that you're bringing us to a drug party. And that you just invited your boyfriend who you don't want to talk to drugs about, you know, to a mushroom party. So he gets there. My girlfriend proceeded to tell one drug story after another about me. She's like, and then we were in Columbia and Chelsea, I was like, all right, shut. And we're all looking around.

I go, are you, what is wrong with you? I just told you to do the opposite of what you're doing. Oh no. And it was so funny. And I looked at Joe and I go, just so you know, honey, like I told them not to tell you all these things. He's like, why? Why? You think I'm so judgy? I go, I you are judgy. Like, I know you don't think you're judgy, but you're judgy about drugs. He doesn't like when people like, you know, at his birthday party, we had people there and like people were really partying. And he he was like, it's too much. I don't I'm like people in

Vegas for three days. They're allowed to do whatever they want to do. And if somebody got a little sloppy or got a little messy, then that's their release. You know what I mean? Stop judging that. And it's happening in Vegas. So it stays in Vegas. I know. So he's not, I don't want to paint a picture that he's super judgy and that, you know, anyway, after that night I was like, all right, sweetie. So I guess it's all out, you know, you know, everything. And he's like, I just worry about you when you're not safe. And I'm like, I know, honey, but I'm here. I'm alive. Everything worked out. Don't worry about me. Like I know how to do drugs and I know how to survive. So when you say people, quote unquote, were doing drugs, there's maybe one person that he was concerned about more than others? No, actually, no, it was a friend of mine

who was a bit of a hot mess. She's probably listening to this podcast right now. So no, it actually wasn't me. And so I got in trouble for my friend's behavior. And then eventually, you know, we had to sort that out. I was like, you can't be mad at me for something that someone else did. Yeah, sorry. Anyway, you know, the trials and tribulations of a new coupling. Right. Exactly. You know, I read something recently and they said all they had asked the universe for was a super hot guy who partied at the same speed as they did. And I was like, that is perfect.

That's what we're all looking for. A super hot guy who parties. That's good. I should have put that in my list. Yeah. And at the same speed, it's like, not too much, not too little, just right. Sounds like you guys have that going on for the most part. We do.

Yeah. That's great. I'm also cracking up, Chelsea, because you have not looked at the script yet today, and you have covered several things that we're going to talk about today with our callers. How prescient of me. Yes, it's pretty amazing and exciting. Oh wait, I have stand-up dates that I want to promote you guys. Today's May 12th so tonight I'm in New Orleans. Tomorrow I'm in Birmingham, Alabama and then I'm in San Antonio, Texas on Saturday night. Then I'm coming to Montclair

and Huntington, and I'm shooting my stand-up special, my next stand-up special in Nashville at the Rhyme Inn. So please, there's an early show, there's a late show. Please get your tickets. And this is our first episode back for season three. It is. Can you believe it? How fun is that? It's really exciting. Since it's season three, we decided to bring on a very special guest who is currently judging her fifth season on American Idol. She has a Vegas residency called Play at the Resorts World Theater. And she also has a new song out with Alesso called When I'm Gone and has the title track on Thomas Rhett's new record, Where We Started. She recently bought out her joint venture with her shoe line, Katy Perry Collections,

and now totally owns the line, which just debuted their spring collection at the end of March. And she is a co-founder of a new line of non-alcoholic aperitifs, aperitifs, aperitifs, aperitifs, right? I actually don't know the answer to that. I actually don't know either. Aperitifs? Call this way. Please welcome Katy Perry. Yay! I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, no really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, guys. Hi, Buddha. Aw, Katie brought her dogs. Hello, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Hello. Are you a little Buddha? Hello. Hello. I can't hear myself. I Buddha Buddha Buddha. Hello. Are you a little Buddha? Hello. Hello.

I can't hear myself. I love to hear myself talk. Last time I talked to you, you were about, we were talking about ayahuasca. Oh yeah. No, I never unwrapped my core, but you sure did. Oh, you didn't? No, but I know. I thought you guys were doing that.

Orlando did. Oh. He went deep. Yeah, he gets deep. He's a deep person. Well, he's a seeker. Yeah. So what are you?

I'm a seeker as well, but I'm just also, you know, I've got like that artist brain that is just a little bit more temperamental sometimes. So you think you have sometimes bad reactions to things or sensitive? Oh, yeah. I don't smoke. I can't smoke weed. Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, I smoke. I can't smoke weed. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm one of those like, catch me in a corner. Yeah. I get that. Weed isn't for everybody. And that's something I had to learn the hard way by giving it out to people who couldn't handle it. I saw that. Yeah.

I've done that a lot. I'm like an enabler. Did you ever have a bad reaction on your show when you would like have your round table with the weed and the food no no one no oh wow everyone's on their best behavior actually you know maybe I take that back maybe somebody had a slightly bad reaction but when you're on camera you know you kind of have to temper that reaction and just try to keep it together but the one we once ate a cannabis dinner on one of my episodes of my show and and I was high for three days. Oh, wow. That's saying a lot for you, because your tolerance must be...

My eye was shut for three days. I couldn't open it. I was like, ah, ah, ah. Okay, we have Katy Perry here, finally. I'm so excited to have you. It's our premiere episode of season three, and I'm excited to talk to you about all things. And I can't wait to hear all the advice you give to our callers that call in and write in. Advice. Advice, yes, coming from both of us because, well, I think you have a lot of wisdom to impart. Oh, well, thanks.

I mean, I've got to see a lot of the world, so that's a little perspective maybe. Yeah, and you've had a lot of experiences, different experiences. Sure, sure. And I was just telling you, I'm living in Kentucky, and I have for almost a month now. And that's quite an amazing experience, because it reminds you that Hollywood is not America. And you need to remember that, because I think you can understand

people better. Yeah, right. It's nice to get outside of what you know to be normal and your reality. Yeah. I mean, they're living in a bubble of sorts. We're living in a bubble. Our bubbles are completely opposite, but they're, yeah, it's interesting. But you've been in different bubbles because you grew up in a bubble. You grew up super religious. Yeah. And that's one bubble. Then you came into this industry.

That's another bubble, right? Yes. It's an anthropology study of humans. Yeah, I bet. Sapiens 3. So talk to me about motherhood. Motherhood. Best decision I ever made in my entire life.

Really? Yeah. I wasn't very maternal. And I think that probably stems from some childhood stuff. And we talked about, you know, going on certain journeys, whether that's plant-based or psychological journeys. Or drug-based. Yeah.

Well, plant and drug. I mean, the same thing, right? Some of it. And I did a lot of work behind that stuck feeling of not being maternal. Although I was very maternal with all of my friends. I mean, my fans and my friends, they all called me mom because I love to take care of people. I find joy through other people's joy. Like if they're having a great time, I'm having a great time.

But still there was a little bit of a disconnect. And so I did go on that journey and found the little spots that needed some tuning up. And Orlando, I got to see what a great dad he was with his first child, Flynn, who's now 11. And so that definitely primally influenced me. Like something inside of me said, you, mid-30s, this man is nice. Must breed. He's, you know, he's a kind man. He's a love machine. He's a love machine. And I don't mean that in a sexual way.

I mean that in a personal way. Like, when you meet Orlando and you have a conversation with Orlando, he is filled with love and spreading love. He's like a love machine. I always say when he walks into the room, he has this joie de vivre about him. And he really does. And you know, some people are like, what is that guy on? But he's just really got this kind of like, happy, posy vibes, you know, and I'm a little bit more like heady and prone to depression in some ways. And so it's good for me to be around him because he gets me out of my head a little

bit. Yeah, that's funny. I have a similar dynamic with my boyfriend, Joe, because he is all positive vibes, all happiness up, up. Yeah. And I can be much more cynical than that. Correct. Where I'm just like, no, that guy's a fucking asshole. Why are we hugging him? Yeah. I used to think people like that were like losers, like they didn't understand the fullness of life because I don't know, how could someone be that happy all the time? But maybe they just haven't, you know, had as much trauma as us. Or maybe they have, and they are just willing to turn it into positive vibes. Sure. Sure. Whatever you want to tell me. But I feel that way too. Cause Joe hugs everyone, everyone we meet. Like, and so all a sudden, he's living in my house,

hugging my cleaning lady every morning before he leaves. He hugs the landscaper. And now I'm hugging everybody because otherwise I look like a total bitch. Well, I know. I know how that feels. I wasn't really a hugger for a while and had to kind of work through that. And then when COVID came, I was like, hmm, I'm kind of okay with this. Like, no touching?

Fine. Me too. I felt the same way. Totally. But I am. There's two parts of me. When I am on stage and doing my professional life, I'm really a hugger. But at home and like in domestic life and personal life, you know, I'm on the matriarch of the family. And just like you, just like keeping everything in order, dotting the I's and crossing the T's and blah, blah, blah, you know? Katie, I mentioned Katie's show in Vegas, which I was trying to come see when we were in Vegas two weeks ago, but you weren't performing. I wasn't. It was going to be a one night only for you, though. But I'm going to come and see you anyway. We're going to come back and see you.

Please, anyone who's listening, it's a really fun, fun time. So tell me about how, what are you noticing about yourself becoming a mother? Like, what are you surprised about that you're able to tolerate or your patience or whatever area of your personality that you've discovered? Well, I think that your definition of success changes in life as you get older. And, you know, as Coachella has just passed, we observe the definition of success for Gen Zs and Easter. Easter, Passover, and Coachella has just passed. We observed the definition of success for Gen Zs. And Easter. Easter, Passover, and Coachella. Yes. And, you know, I think your definition of success coming up in your 20s is very outward and material and ego-driven and all that jazz. And then 30s hits and you care less and there's a kind of an inner confidence and respect for yourself that

starts to grow maybe and then with the motherhood you know your definition of well my definition of success is just her happiness and again her happiness really gives me that joy but a lot of like bs just falls away stuff that you thought was important really was never important. And you just don't, you know, you don't have time for any sort of energetic drama that's not important in your family. And, you know, your family really starts to become first. Because, you know, like when you're dating someone, you don't have any kids, you've got like your posse and this posse and like a couple few different posses for different things. And like you meet all the time, blah, blah, blah. And although I still have a lot of those friends, if something for some reason becomes a little too complicated, I'm like, I'm out. I got to leave

this chat. This chat, I'm out. Because I got to make sure the health and wellness of my child is always in the A world. Yeah. But I think that you just feel a lot more grounded and you focus better. There's a lot of lollygagging before kids and you know that your time is limited outside of being with them or that if you spend two hours doing something, it better be of real value because that's two hours you could like engage with the person that you love the most that loves you the most so there's a lot of fulfillment and and truly and I'm in a really privileged place I get you know I have a wonderful nanny and all that stuff so it may be an easier time for someone like myself than anyone else out there but I've seen I've got to see a lot of views

of many different mountains and professionally started to see some of the same views. You know, I've been on tour, traveled the world three times. I got the opportunity to play the Super Bowl. All these things that I'm so, so grateful I got to check off my list before I had a child. But then you start doing them over again. You don't get the same high. Yeah.

And so you're like, well, what's the next level to life? And then you start doing like a lot of plant-based medicine because you're like, there's got to be a better grid out there. We need to see the next dimension or whatever. You know, it's just and children for me definitely are that. I mean, my daughter is that for me. And has it had an impact on your relationship with your mom or your dad becoming a parent? Yes, for sure. For sure.

There is profound respect and also profound anger. Not anger, but just like, what? And also just like amazement that how did we just, how did three of us survive? Because like you turn the corner for two seconds and you're just like, how did you get there? What is in your mouth? And I give you all the toys you ever could want, but you still want an electrical

socket. You know the dog chew toys that are like the Rolex or the Starbucks cup and stuff like that. They need to make an electrical outlet toy for kids that they're really attracted to that's maybe bedazzled or something so that they go to make like a an electrical outlet toy for kids that they're really attracted to that's maybe like bedazzled or something so that they go to that one first rather than like the the real ones yeah that's probably a good idea along with a bunch of other sharp objects

that kids love to play with like steak knives or things like that i think i have seen a children's steak knife collection because i think i tried to use one accidentally because that's how domesticated I am. Yes. That I don't know you can't cup with a rubber knife. But I love all that you're saying. I have to say from a personal perspective, like for me watching your Instagram and watching everything, obviously I see you all the time hosting Idol. And I know you post about Idol a lot and that's fun. But you seem like you're ebullient.

Like you have a nice. What does that word mean? Like a big light around you. Like everything is you seem like you're ebullient like you have a nice what does that word mean like a big light around you like everything is you seem like you're in a great place well don't thank me thank the wellbutrin quite honestly well what is well is wellbutrin over the counter or is that a prescription prescription oh and it's an antidepressant yes oh okay because i thought that well i must be confusing it with some other medication that you can buy over the counter. Well, whatever. Wellness something. Yeah.

No, but truly, I think my daughter has reshaped my life, my perspective, and given me a love I've never had before. It's a love and kind of a, not a validation, but I guess validation in its purest form is love. I've always been wanting that love. That's always been my number one currency. And then when she came, it was just like, I love you for no reason, just because you are. And I'm like, what? You don't need anything from me? I mean, obviously some food.

Just a little. A little, okay. I actually breastfed Katie's baby mostly. I produce almond milk out of my breasts. And she's lactose intolerant. So it worked out perfectly. Also, don't you think that, thank you, first and foremost, don't you think that like the longer that you can live and observe and survive in this world of spotlight and, you know, I guess we will say industry and fame and celebrity and navigate it, the more you just kind of, you get better tools and you learn how to play

it better. Yeah. Play it better. And I think you also become less ambitious once you've kind of solidified a place for yourself. Sure. It's like... There's definitely not another Chelsea ever. Oh, that's sweet. I mean, I think you really start to become, right? Like you're not as driven. I mean, some people seem to have that drive inveterately. They just go on and on and on and on. Foaming.

But yeah. But I think, you know, the more confident you become, the less you need from the general public. And the more you think, the more introspective your work becomes. Yeah. But I think, you know, the more confident you become, the less you need from the general public. And the more you think, the more introspective your work becomes. Yeah. And the higher integrity that your work kind of gives off. You know, you're like, it's a better quality of work. I agree.

Because in the beginning, I think, of all of our careers in the spotlight, you're making art for yourself to kind of prove. And then somewhere along the way, you're kind of listening to the stuff and it can affect it. And so sometimes the art gets painted by the noise. And then like you say, at a certain point, you let go of the noise again, and then you go back to just like creating that art out of feeling, which I think is what usually gets you on the map in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. I have a question for both of you about that. Does it feel harder to be vulnerable the longer you're doing it and the more you listen to that noise? I think it becomes easier to be vulnerable. What do you think? Well, I think you can be vulnerable, but I think the higher you get, the harder you can fall.

There's a lot more to lose, I guess. And in a world where you can go down pretty easily by anything, I think you have to be, you know, just more aware. There's got to be a lot more awareness, which is great. I think I was thinking of it in the sense like being vulnerable, like allowing people to see who you are becomes easier. I think for me especially, because I didn't realize for a long time that people didn't understand that we're all multifaceted. We all have different parts of our personality. And just because you're not

demonstrating at all doesn't mean it's not there. And when I was like opening up about my brother dying or like serious things, people were always like, oh my God, we've never seen this side of you. And it's like, what do you think? I'm just a fucking bitch all the time. Like, obviously I'm a human girl. Like obviously there's more depth. I mean, if you believe in like the idea of like masculine energy, I think we just operate with a lot more of that and it can be less soft if soft is feminine but you know all those things are moving right now those sayings are being kind of investigated again because what is masculine energy and why does it belong to only male or whatever you know you don't want to put a gender on that type of energy but that energy is just strong it's like dominate and black and white you don't seem like

a person that like minces their words no and that And that also can come across as harsh. Like I've been, I just had a conversation. They were like, can you be nicer to so, so, and so, and I go, are you serious? I sent an email asking just for a bunch of questions. I go, what do you want me to do? Fucking blow them on the, in the email? Like what? And they're like, oh no, you just have to be a little bit softer in how you ask. That's exactly what they said. Softer. And I was like, okay. I mean you just have to be a little bit softer in how you ask. That's exactly what they said, softer. And I was like, okay, I mean, all right. But I don't know if people would expect that, quite honestly, from the opposite sex. I've never heard any of that said, hey, can you be softer in your email?

Yeah, totally. But anyways. Especially not to Orlando, they wouldn't because he's's already soft as an apple. He is already. He's the softest. And we're prickly. Okay, so we're going to take callers. We have a caller calling in for advice. Oh, my God.

You have to put on your advice cap now, Katie. I love it. I've done a lot of therapy for this moment. I know. All of our therapy comes together on this podcast, and then we give it out, and we give back. Exactly. Well, we'll take a quick break for some ads and we'll be back with Katie and Chelsea.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today.

How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really?

That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back.

We're back. We have our first caller, who is Stephanie. She says, Dear Chelsea, I recently got into a serious relationship, my first since college. For years before meeting my new boyfriend, I was in a big partying phase with plenty of flings and hookups. I mean plenty. I've been in therapy over the years and have been cognizant of why I was drinking or hooking up with guys. Really, it was just a fun time in my life, and I was just figuring it out. I was always known as the, quote, fun girl of the group with plenty of stories about my drunken escapades, terrible dates, and minor fuck-ups that are more cute

slash hilarious than damaging. Right now where I'm at is... Actually, Chelsea told a story very similar to this before you arrived. I'm going to call her. Yes, I call it to my own podcast. She gives great advice. Where I'm at right now is I'm introducing my friends to my boyfriend and feel uncomfortable with my friends sharing stories or bringing up past times in front of him. I don't want to lie to him or pretend that I wasn't like that, but I also don't want him to think less of me or judge me. He's an incredible person, and I don't think he ever would, but how do I accept that for myself? Have you owned yourself and your past relationships? Though I'm not going out as much or drinking at the level I was before, how do I still share that part of my life without scaring him?

Stephanie. And she's going to be joining us on Zoom. Oh, great. This is perfect. Yeah, I just told that story. Too bad I didn't save it for when Katie was here. Oh, great. This is perfect. Yeah, I just told that story. Too bad I didn't save it for when Katie was here. Well, I want to hear it. Well, hi. Hi. Hi, girl. Hi. Hi, Stephanie. Hi, Stephanie. This is Katie. Hi, Katie. How are you? Good. How are y'all doing? Good. We're good. You've spoken to Catherine before this. So this is very perfect

timing because I was just discussing this. So this is very perfect timing because I was just discussing this. I have a very sordid past with all sorts of drug use and I love to talk about it and my friends love to tell stories about me and blah, blah, blah. And I'm with a person who doesn't have a big history with drugs. He has no history with drugs. He doesn't do drugs. And I think it's a very valid question. And I think you should not be lying. I don't think you should ever lie about who you are. I think you're going to be with somebody who's going to love you because of who you are and in spite of who you are. If you take your drug experience as a negative thing, it doesn't have to be that way. It could

be a period of your life where you learned a lot about yourself that was positive and that you explore that. It's a matter of moving forward. Do you still want to do drugs like that with your partner or are you over that phase of your life? I mean, I'm always open and willing to anything. So I don't think it's a phase. I think it's more of like, you know, a lifestyle. But I think just to be clear, was it more just like a partying, just like having fun hookups in drinking and stuff like that? The drugs thing was yours. And hers is more the alcohol, blame it on the alcohol and the fun whole bit such, right? Yes.

Yeah. More going out and, you know, partying and, you know, all those fun things that come out along with it. Yeah. And your 20s. Yeah. Listen, I wrote my first book was called My Horizontal Life, a collection of one night stands. So I've not only done it, I've documented it,

which was not a smart move if I was thinking about potential suitors. Like no man reads that book and is like, I want to date this girl. Or great, I'll date this girl so she can write a fucking short story or essay about me. You know what I mean? But I'm assuming you're not going to do that. Do you know what your boyfriend's like drug history or partying history is? I mean, he likes to go out, but I would say he's

much more tame and laid back and, you know, not out until four in the morning ever. But he'll like go out. And how long have you guys been dating? A little over a year. Okay. So he must have some sense of your past, right? Yeah, but it was also COVID. And so we were, you know, shutting doors a lot. And then now that things are opening up, it's proving to kind of open like a different door almost. Uh-huh. Did something make you feel like, oh, wait, maybe he's not loving this information or something? Did something happen? No, I wouldn't say exactly something happened,

but you know, when you're telling a story and like everyone kind of is quiet afterwards and you're like, okay, maybe like shouldn't have released that information or like a friend is telling a story and I'm like, maybe I don't want my boyfriend to know that happened. So yeah, it's more, more just like me feeling not almost feeling bad. I think it's my, like how many people you've slept with. Like that's not really something that anyone wants to hear. So there's no reason to really even get into that detail, just almost out of respect for the relationship. You don't want to, like, I mean, nobody wants to hear that. If I ask my boyfriend about anything in his past, which I am curious about, he refuses to tell me. He's like, I'm never wasting energy talking about any of those people. Yeah. Cause it doesn't even exist anymore. Yeah. It's so in the past. But I

mean, you going out and partying and having a good time, I think is fine. I don't think it always has to lead to you don't have to divulge that information to him. It doesn't necessarily empower anybody to know that their person beforehand was out and about and sleeping around. You're totally, you know, everyone's allowed to do that, of course, but it's definitely not a necessary thing you want to do. I would definitely, I would parse those stories too, because you're not lying. It's almost kind of you're lying for their benefit and you're not lying. You're withholding, really. Which is lying. Well, I've been told a mission is also lying. Yeah, I agree with you. I mean,

you don't need to share all this stuff. It's a journey. It's a journey. And he wasn't there for it. So he doesn't need to be a part of it. It sounds also like you are kind of starting a new phase in your life. Not a new phase. It's not like you're going to not do stuff that you like or have fun or get wild or be loose ever again. But maybe it's a little bit more balanced with him. And maybe those stories are just like they're stories from the past, from when you weren't really that person or you were just younger and you're wiser and, you know, older a little bit more. And it's just a journey that you've been on. And also, he's probably going to see this podcast.

So he's going to know, hey, what's up? Yeah, we have a ton of straight guys listening to this podcast. Exactly. I would just say to your friends, like they're telling these stories because they're kind of trying to brag on you. Right. They're trying to say, like, look how fun she is. She's the best. These are these crazy stories.

Maybe just tell them like, hey, let's keep the hookups to a minimum. But like tell other fun stories about me. Yeah. Yeah. And hopefully you won't be like my friend who did exactly the opposite when I told her not to. Oh, she was also, yeah, that was, she was having a hard night that night. So I don't blame her because I couldn't, otherwise it would be too ridiculous. I told my girlfriend basically to recap what I said earlier. I was like, Hey, my boyfriend doesn't do drugs. Don't tell too many drug stories about me. And then she proceeded to go from country to country to country about different

drugs we did in countries where those drugs aren't legal anyway. So she's hurting me on two levels. But yeah, I think what Katie said is right. You're in a different part of your life too. And that's also worth mentioning, you know, at certain points in your relationship, like I'm so glad I met you at this time in my life. Like I'm finally mature enough to appreciate this relationship to reinforce that that behavior is kind of not necessarily a thing of the past, but more of like part of who you were before you met him. And now you're going into this phase. Obviously you're not going to go around hooking up like that when you're in a new relationship or a newer relationship, I should say. But there's no

reason to go into detail about any of that stuff. Just one little thing to add. I mean, how young are you, Stephanie? I'm 27. Okay, 27. Okay, you're getting to that. You're getting to that age where like you're starting to have real serious commitment relationships or have or every relationship starts to feel like more serious. But I would just say in the relationship I'm in now, I've never been more myself than I have. And that feels so good. And I've been in other relationships where I've had to hide parts of myself

and play second fiddle or just be smaller or like hiding, right? And it all starts to like erupt. It becomes a volcano and it comes out and it becomes hysterical because you've suppressed it for so long. So if there's a way, especially since you're in the new part of your relationship, where you can kind of drip feed him some of the truth so that it doesn't all explode at once because you've been trying to play a different part just so you can keep the relationship together,

you know, I think there'll probably be a lot more acceptance and it may not scare him as much. The truth really is a cliche in that if he doesn't love you for who you are, he's really not for you. Yeah, which doesn't mean you have to front load it. I think what she's saying is right. Drip feeding is the best way to be like accountable. So you're not a liar. You know what I mean? But you're also not over divulging, but you know, just be sensitive. It's like, think about how you would feel if you heard about all the girls he hooked up with. It's not necessary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely not giving him a laundry list. Yeah. Yeah. But, but, you know, continue to be who you are and make sure you're not

apologizing for anything you did in the past. Because that's you don't owe anybody an apology for anything. You don't owe people first and last names either. Because sometimes we don't remember those last names. No, you don't owe anybody that either. You're lucky when you make the list in your 20s, you're like, shit. How about when you make the list in your 20s and you make it with it like you're with a girlfriend, you're a group of girlfriends. And then the next morning you're like, wait, I forgot three people that came to me in the middle of the night.

And then the next day I'm like, fuck, I forgot three more people. Now whenever I make any lists, I'm like, I said to my assistant, I'm hosting Jimmy Kimmel for the week. She goes, put together a list of who you'd like to interview on the guest list. And I made a list. And then I was like, don't send that yet. I'm like, I'll come up with like 80 more names as I think about it.

You know, like you have to keep your list going. So when you make a list, give yourself three days for that list. All right. Well, thank you so much.

Thanks for calling in. Thank you. Good luck. Bye. She made it sound like she just like lived at Mardi Gras, you know,

for the first 20 years of her life. Wouldn't that be fun? Yeah, penetration pussy land. Whoa! Shitsky doodle. The PPP. Isn't that what they were called? Oh, no, PPE.

Your paychecks for COVID. Was that PPE or PPP? That's the protective gear. Oh, fuck. Payment Protection Plan. That was gear. Oh, fuck. Payment Protection Plan. That was PPP. Oh, there we go. That was PPE.

Oh, that's PPP, yeah. Not to be confused with penetration. What was the word? Pussy and land. Land. Penetration, pussy land. That's your land. My land in Las Vegas is Perry Playland.

Please come visit. Yes, hers, yes. Please come visit. Yes. Hers, yes. Please come visit. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you two? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all.

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, Really. No Really. Go to reallynoreally.com.

And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Paige. Paige says, Dear Chelsea, in a recent episode with Bobby Burke, you mentioned that you used to resort to yelling in arguments, but have since turned the corner. Really? I try.

Sometimes I fail. I'm like, you're better than I am. I'm in a relationship over a year with a man I completely adore, but I'm a hothead and I often yell. Like, really yell. It's causing a huge rift in our progress and I'm looking for practical ways to stop. I've been in therapy on and off for years and I'm frustrated that I keep getting the same old just be mindful answer. I definitely try every day and have for decades. Do you have any other practical advice, books, or workshops you'd recommend? Thank you from your fellow blonde

haired big breasted woman, Paige. She's in good company here today. Yeah. We all have big babies here. Katie, do you want to go first or shall I? It sounds like you've got something rolling. Well, I just talked to my therapist about this very issue. My boyfriend and I went to our first therapy session together because I would like to avoid— You lifted up your arm because you're about to divulge.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to therapy with your new boyfriend. That's a big one. With my regular regular therapist though like this is the guy i used to see all the time and i haven't seen him in a while but we wanted i wanted to learn about communication does this name start with a k no okay never mind no everything we talk about starts with a p on this podcast page but he explained something that was very foundational and like good for everyone to remember when you are in a reaction mode which is when you're yelling you are not you're not getting anywhere it is pointless to yell i mean think about being yelled at and think about yelling at a child like

you are never going to get what you want out of somebody by yelling at them that doesn't work so you have to calm down you have to take your time out whatever you want to call that i say i need a coconut which means i need a time out so I can calm down and get into reception, which means – Get into island vibe. Yes, get into island vibe. Island vibe arguing. Reggae. I put out some reggae.

Island vibe arguing. And you get into receiving mode instead of reactive mode. And when you are reactive, nothing can be solved in that moment of anger. When you are anger and you're yelling. Also, something to remember about yelling is it's a complete loss of control. Like anytime you yell, you have lost control. And so do you really want to be perceived as losing control all the time? It's better to like think about it, internalize it, go sit by yourself, whether it's two minutes or 20 minutes or a day, whatever you need,

till you can get back to a place of reception and receiving and just go, okay, I'm ready to hear what you're saying. And there's just no reason to let it escalate like that because nobody likes to get yelled at and you're going to push somebody away by doing that. I agree. That's a lot of self-control. God bless you. And you've been in this relationship for how long?

Shut up, Katie. Well, everything is of self-control. God bless you. And you've been in this relationship for how long? Shut up, Katie. Well, everything is in the honeymoon phase, sure. We're actually just phasing out of the honeymoon phase. That's when the deep heels come in. I have found that... She's like, I have found yelling to be very effective. I found that, you know, I know it sounds also like a cliche, but like three deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. It just like expands your options in your brain to think differently than just like red, red, red, red.

And yeah, I think you were correct about the whole like, I know what it feels like to have been yelled at as like a child. So like remembering that and kind of going, oh, that never worked with me and knowing it's not going to work with the other person although your partners usually see your best and a lot of your worst sides because they are there to be your mirrors Orlando and I do couples therapy and we love it because it just keeps us like in tune and the resentment can get really strong when you're both working hard and god bless successful people in the spotlight. And so when you want to come back to being normal in a domesticated world where you have a child and stuff like that, you have to really learn how to be kind of different out there in the big and in the small. And so we've had a

lot of success with that couples therapy, but she asked if there's like a treatment or something like that. I went to this place, I'm sure you've heard of it called the Hoffman process. Yeah. And I went there, Orlando went before me. Was this when you guys were married? He went? No, when we were dating. So he came back after going and wasn't leaning into all of my bullshit. And so it was boring. It became boring. And I was like, we're breaking up then. And then I had the worst year of my life, not just because of the relationship, just a lot of different things were

changing and shifting for me, which I really truly believe was an opportunity for me to evolve and grow. And it's going to be like, here we are at the fork in the road. Are you going to take an L or are you going to take an R? And so a year later, I went to the Hoffman process. And it is amazing because it's a week-long process, which they do give scholarships out. It's kind of expensive, but I would say it's the best value. You have no cell phone and you just go kind of deep through different exercises with other people, actually, which is great because they trigger you the whole time. And then you work on those triggers. But basically, it's a place you get to go to where you rewire the neural pathways in your mind.

And you get to the you basically get to discover there's so much awareness. You get to discover why you have these patterns and habits and where they're coming from. And all of it's either coming from mom or it's coming from dad. So like if you're yelling, who yelled at you? And it's a learned thing. Everything that all the kids, like your babies, they're really just regurgitating everything they see from you. So it's really about the patterns of our parents that you adopted. And so you rewire those patterns to have better success at life. And it profoundly changed my life. It's like the number one thing I always recommend when somebody is ready for that next level in life, for that shift, if they're just over, just like feeling stuck or depressed or traumatized or just like, you know, they're like, there's got to be more to life. This is like this. I feel like it's where you find consciousness. It's where you find so much profound awareness. And it's great. Couldn't recommend it more. Yeah, I've heard a lot of great things about the Hoffman Institute. Is it Hoffman Institute? Hoffman Process. Yes. Another thing to remember is when you are in that state of yelling, when you're in flight,

fight or freeze, which are those like things where you're being attacked or attacking, you're not in a place. If you're in any of those moments, you're not in a place to discuss the matter. That's when you need to time out. If you feel like fighting, if you feel like retreating and running away, or if you feel like you're frozen, those are three things to remember that you need to take a time out. And so I would just really, really recommend that you work hard on your yelling. And if your therapist doesn't think that that's a problem, you might need to find a new therapist. That pushes you a little bit more. Yeah.

Or digs a little bit deeper. Yeah. Because that's basic. Yeah. Mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. I mean, I love mindfulness, but let's get into the nitty gritty. Yeah, yeah. Let's get under the hood, you know?

Yeah. Have you been in any really big arguments with your partner yet? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we had one big one, which is why we ended up going to therapy. Great. Because I was like, well, let's nip this in the bud right away. I want to always, you know, improve on my communication. And I'm an over communicator. Oh, wow. Great. Where he's an under communicator. But he's never had, you know, he's somebody who's mad and doesn't say anything for three weeks and then it blows up. Oh, yeah. And you're like, what?

Yeah. What is this about? Yeah. He's like, when we were in Whistler I'm like Whistler that was like a fucking month ago that was months ago so immediately not because he needs the therapy he loves the list it's because we need it as a couple and as my therapist said

you're A Orlando's B together you're AB that's a different language than what you do by yourself and what Orlando does for himself so like you and your partner are two separate entities but when you come together you have to be mindful of the fact that he's not you he's a completely separate person that needs to be treated with like kindness and respect yeah one other book actually that I would recommend to her is the dance of Anger. That's one to read ASAP because it helps with dealing with anger, all that stuff that comes up. But also like one of the pieces of

advice I always give to people who are getting married is do go to bed angry. I find that for us, like my husband and I are both yellers, and I find that like we can get in these circular things when we're tired or yes, tired, hungry or maybe a little tipsy or whatever. And if you just go to sleep, you wake up and you're like, what were we fighting about? And you're just like well rested and it makes everything better. I'm always like so much nicer in the morning if I've gotten, you know, seven-ish hours of sleep. You wake up and you're like, how can I like look at you and still be pissed? I'm going to like give you a kiss.

I'm going to try for the first five minutes. But if you're still cold, then we're going to go back in it. Right, right, right. But like level-headed. Yeah. But if you decide to meet me on that soft, sweet halfway, then we're going to be like, okay. Because some people, like my boyfriend, can't go to bed angry. They need to talk it out.

They want to talk it out, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And it's like that is a personality trait too. So you have to be respectful when people do want to do that. Like I do want to go to bed also and be like, I'll see you tomorrow. But, you know, with him, he's so sensitive that, like, I have to sit there with him and, like, you know, figure it out together. Which, you know, is good. I'm glad I have to be outside of my comfort zone and that's gross and compromise yeah that's growth yeah that's evolution evolution it's a life worth living so there you go problem solved yay yay well we'll take a quick break for some ads and be back with Chelsea and Katie. to the floor? We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who

figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you two? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about

Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, really. No really.

Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Chelsea and Katie. Fantastic. Well, Katie, was there any advice that you wanted to ask for from Chelsea? Ooh, that's good. Yes.

Thank you. Do you find it's different for you compared to your male counterparts? Do you find that there's a certain line not to cross or that some people can be spicier comedians? Do you find if you started out really spicy, you can stay spicy your whole life? Or do you kind of have to be a little bit more aware or what? I mean, I think that, you know, the boundaries that have been put in or the parameters that have been placed, you know, it forces you to think outside of your own experience and to focus on the real issue at hand. Like for me right now, what I'm doing in my

set is like, you know, I'm talking not only but this is a big issue is talking to white men about their resistance to accepting all different walks of life. Like, they are the only people kind of prolonging this, this this cancel culture, cancel culture, the resistance to the cancel culture and arguing with it. Like, no, we're not being sexist or we're not being racist. It's like, hey, you're not the judge of who's being treated in a racist or sexist way as an individual white male. Your opinion is irrelevant because you're not the victim of it. You're the perpetrator. And that's not to say every man is a perpetrator because certainly that isn't the case. Not all men are bad, but I think

it's important to bring attention to the subjects that we're all kind of tiptoeing around because people don't want to say the wrong thing. It's like, it's about, I think it's a responsibility for every comedian to lift up all the people that aren't getting that kind of respect, that aren't being treated like a white male that, you know, like the entire trans community, the entire LGBTQ community. It's like, it is, you know, some people, I've just had this conversation this weekend with the comic and he's like, it's not my responsibility. He goes, I accept them. I don't have to sing their praises. I go, acceptance isn't enough. You have a platform that a lot of people are listening to and they're taking your lead on things. And by not going to bat for those people,

you're missing a huge opportunity for people to be accepted. Like if you accept them, then how many other thousands, millions of people are going to accept them, right? So, and he was like, well, I didn't think about it that way. And I'm like, I know you didn't think about it that way

and you're not a bad guy, but being accepting of a certain lifestyle in this climate, I don't think is enough. I think you actively have to speak out about it and you actively have to let people. Speak out about the injustice. About the injustice, about being welcoming to people so that they feel included, that they don't feel like, you know, how would you feel if that was your child that had to come out to her parents because she wanted to transition to become a man because she feels like she was born in the wrong body? How would you do that? How would you deal with that if it were your child? You have to think about that on a global level, right?

You want to be compassionate and empathetic to everybody, and especially the people that have the biggest targets on their back and are the most discriminated against. And then he was like, well, you're giving white guys such a hard time. I'm like, because you guys are the last line of defense. You're in charge of everything. So if we don't move you, we're doing it all by ourselves. All like marginalized groups have to help each other, right? So what if we just got enough of you guys to get on board? you should be, you should be fighting for our rights. It's, you know, economically, all this data backs up, you know, everybody does better when everybody does better. Yeah. Not when there's divisiveness. So I don't know if that answers your question, really. I mean, I think it like kind of circles your question because that's my focus has, I think

what I've learned from this whole movement in the last four to five years between Time's Up, between Me Too, between what we've learned about men and everything, the advantages that they've gotten just by being white males, I think it is, I have a sense of responsibility to buck against, you know, and say, hey, this isn't enough. You know, you got to do better. Yeah. And I think your messaging, well, your comedy is funny messaging, but it's layered. I think we all get into this maybe because we want to tell a story. We want to represent someone or what I see from you is you've gone from like, OK, how do I get that laugh to how do I like leave my mark or how do I help a situation or influence some change?

Yeah. Invoke thought, right? In your way, in your funny kind of like pokey way. It's fun. It's a fun way to poke the bear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wish I didn't have, I mean, you know, we all wish we didn't have to. I wish there were no rules that everyone can do whatever they want, but we've learned that look where we are today. That doesn't work. We have to be sensitive. You know, my trainer this morning goes, I just heard a story about this kid at school. They don't even, they don't even, you know, use points at, at sports in school anymore. They don't, there's no scoring.

Everybody's getting so soft. I go, maybe because we're too hard, you know, I don't have kids. So I don't know that, but like where, whatever we've done is got us to this place, which isn't the best view of America. Oh, yeah. A lot of that is content and comments. A lot of that is like never, ever, you know, in the history of civilization, were we ever supposed to, you know,

digest and consume everyone's opinion all at once. Yes. So, I mean, that's really had a profound change on our minds and our wellness, our mental wellness. How do you handle that aspect of everything? Like social media, reading things about yourself, articles? What is your philosophy on that? Well, it used to get to me, but I don't read it really. And I like to say I post and ghost these days. So I'm not really scrolling anymore. And every once in a while I'll engage. But it's it's, you know, I personally think WWW stands for Wild Wild West. It's wild out there on the Internet. You can you know, you can have your

confidence taken away from you in a second. You can have your career taken away from you. It's wild out there. So you really have to navigate well. But, you know, I just have a lot of compassion for these young kids that are going through it, that have 13 to 20 followers that are all in their classroom. And it's like they go through so much emotion. If someone doesn't like or someone doesn't comment or someone does comment or someone blocks, I mean mean it's the end of their world you know and i and not to compare but just to say like i mean you should see the the crazy shit i've had to block you know or like that i've seen or guys come at me or the photoshop of some dark ass shit right but it's really shaping these young kids' minds and how they are in life, whether that is,

I think they're hit over the head a lot on social media every single day. And so when they go into the real world, then they feel fragile already because of their few hours every day that they are on social media. It's not building a confidence, it's breaking down their confidence.

So when they get into the real world, they really don't have any confidence. Man, Gen Z has it rough. I don't know. I'm so confused by every generation. I'm like, is Gen X after Gen Z? Well, my daughter's alpha. Oh, that's the new generation.

That's the new generation. Yeah. She's got her work cut out for her. Yeah, she does. She does. But hopefully she's got some good representation that goes to therapy and gets advice from Chelsea. Well, Daisy's going to be calling in the podcast in no time.

Oh, no. I've already spoken to her a couple of times. She'll be like, excuse me, what do you think of Elmo? Katie, thank you for being here. Thanks for letting us use your studio. Yes. And it matches our podcast colors so it was so serendipitous yeah and I love that this is your studio it's so cool but thank you so much for giving me your time I know how busy you are and I love you

so much thank you this was fun giving advice together yeah you're really good at it sounds like you know you said you said you were like an over communicator you definitely like let people know what, what, what to do, when to do it and how to, how to do it. I love that. Cause I'm a super direct person and I don't want, I don't want any gray area. I want to just know, you know, I like, we should hang out more. Although we probably would like tell each other too much of the truth.

Who cares? Great. I mean, there's a lack of truth. Great. So let's be truthful. Just don't tell Joe. Yeah, great. Over at G&T.

Well, I'll see you at Kentucky. Okay, I'll see you in Kentucky. Thank you, Katie. Love you guys. Thanks. So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at dearchelseaproject at gmail.com. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to ReallyKnowReally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really

Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.