Dear Chelsea - Season Break Nugget 1: Pick Your Two Favorites

Episode Date: September 23, 2021

We’re on a quick hiatus before Season 2, premiering Oct 7, but that doesn’t mean the show stops! We’re back this week with bonus nuggets as we gear up for the new season. You’ll hear all about Chelsea's trip to Mallorca (and who got lucky), updates from Season 1 callers who took Chelsea’s advice (or didn't!), how things turned out for them, and what happens when the tables are turned and Chelsea answers listener questions about HER life.  *****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hello, everybody. Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening, or buenos noches, as they say in España, which is where I just hailed from. Welcome to one of our little mini nugget nugget episodes while we are on hiatus. We won't be on hiatus for very long because I'm coming back with season two shortly, but we wanted to give you a couple of updates and a couple of check-ins. I have a new friend with me. She's not so new to me,

but she's new to you guys. Her name is Catherine and she's a producer on this show. And she is sitting with me in the room to guide me along and And you're like my Sherpa, basically, my podcast Sherpa. Yeah, I just move things along. Catherine is upbeat and full of information. And that's what we need with me. We need somebody who is upbeat and has more information than I do with regard to orders, you know, technique. I would call it podcast technique and other bullshit, you guys.

So that's what we're doing. I just came from my summer vacation, even though it's fall, from Majorca. And I had all of my ski girlfriends from Whistler meet me at my place in Majorca. And we e-biked our asses off. And I really feel rejuvenated, except for the fact that last night I went to bed at four o'clock in the morning because somebody wouldn't shut the fuck up. And we'll have more on that later. But it was a great vacation. And Mallorca is like really known for cycling and people train for big bike races there, like the Tour de France. And so we had a great time with all my girlfriends.

One of my girlfriends is like a little muscular. She's a nugget, actually. She's 5'1". And her calves look like two clamshells, like two scallops, actually. And she is stronger than a horse or an ox. And so on one of our bike trips that was 54 miles up a mountain and then down mountains, three of us lost batteries to our e-bikes because I decided that I was going to be in turbo the whole time,

not eco, because I just thought, fuck this. This is too hard, and I'm not willing to challenge myself after that much sangria. But I did, and we had to kind of tow each other through the mountains, through tunnels on e-bikes, which are very heavy to pedal if you have no battery. So for anybody out there who is renting an e-bike, make sure you get the battery when you rent it and charge that so that you are never stuck like I was, even though it was a good adventure. And,

you know, I burned a lot of calories, so that was good. And one of my friends, oh, one of my very, very dear friends who I know listens to this podcast, every week we were able to get penetrated. So that is a huge victory. And I said, when we got there to my girlfriends, I said, if I can just see a man walk out of blank's bedroom one morning, this vacation will be like a huge fulfillment for me. And that's what happens, guys. So problem solved is what I like to say. Catherine, thank you. I can see you're beaming as well. Yeah, I am. Yeah, there's nothing better, especially after what we talked about on our last podcast. There's nothing better than helping a friend get penetrated.

And it wasn't me by myself. It was all of us working in concert teamwork. Yeah, some girls went out one night, others stayed back. And then the the next night we went back out and then we kind of reconnected and then the ones that weren't there filled in for the ones it was it was great and then at one point my friend said there's 11 guys here and they all want to go back to your house and I said pick your two favorites and one of the favorites made it and he got the last rose that's excellent know. It was our own private Mallorcan bachelor. Heartwarming. And also, my other friend there who loves the show Below Deck, loves Below Deck, which I think a lot of people love Below Deck, right?

She was watching the Mediterranean edition, which I also ended up seeing like six or seven episodes of that. But then we had a friend of a friend from Germany came, and she's actually works on a boat as the chief stew. So it was just like a phantasmagoria of sex information about what happens on Yachitas, you know, below deck and above deck and on the side of the deck and then beneath that. So I think it was, you know, it it was a pretty good solid vacation and I'm just happy to be home. I'm happy to be going on tour. My first dates are in Cincinnati, Indianapolis. It's like start September 30th. I think I have Cincinnati. Yep. And then Detroit at the Fillmore

and then Indianapolis and then Grand Rapids. So come see me. And then Norfolk, Virginia. So please come see me on my vaccinated and horny tour. And I am horny, but I have somebody who is fulfilling that horniness now. And if you haven't been paying attention to my social media, which I don't expect all of you to be doing, I will fill you in on the fact that I am in love and finally getting regular penetration. Excellent. I know. I mean, it's all from this podcast, right? It's a full evolution of what therapy can do for a person. I'm so glad that we can help. Yeah. Yeah. Well, exactly. And also giving advice to other people and hearing their stories and then

seeing that I could go to therapy and that works and that I can now be in a normal, healthy relationship with someone should be an inspiration to anyone who thinks that they're not going to find the lid to their pot because you are. It doesn't happen when you want it to happen, but it does. It does happen when it's supposed to happen. So I yeah, I'm done. I found my guy. I love that. Yeah, it's exciting. It's exciting for all of us. I too have been speculating a little bit just from watching your social media. So I'm excited to hear about it. Yeah, well, I'm excited to share it. You know me. I mean, there are no secrets, right? Yeah. Great. Okay, so we'll get into that maybe later. But we have some updates, right, Catherine? Yes, we do.

We have some updates from some callers. So our first update is actually from someone who didn't call in, but they were just a listener from Dan. He said, I was a social cigarette smoker my whole life. But during the pandemic, I got severely hooked. While listening to your podcast, you briefly mentioned, and this was like a tiny mention, that you stopped smoking by hypnosis. Your comments stuck with me, so I called my local hypnosis center and made an appointment. Two days later, I met my hypnotherapist and had my session and have been smoke-free ever since. Thank you, Thank you in all caps for giving me my health back, Dan. Oh, that is awesome. There's something else that you

could get hypnotized for that my friend was just talking to me about because, you know, these people that they can do that for like your fear of flying. I have a friend who bites her toenails. That's probably a separate conversation. But it still falls under the category of things you want to stop doing. And that's one of them. And she went to Keri Gaynor, who's the guy that I went to in L.A. There are hypnotherapists throughout the world. So obviously, if you're serious about it, you know, it can work. And I'm trying to think about what the other problem was. It was something really. Anyway, hopefully.

My sister actually got hypnotized for her fear of ladders, which like I don't know when she's on a ladder. Oh, right. Fear of elevators. That's what my friend had. Fear of elevators. Fear of ladders is funny. Going and walking under them or walking. I think it's like going up them.

But she's an attorney. It's like I don't know when she's going on a ladder. But they brought her back to apparently at some point when she was in a crib, she had gotten like crawled out of her crib and was hanging from the crib. So all she could see were the bars. And after she had that realization that that's where her fear of ladders came from, she was not afraid of them anymore. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that would explain it because having a fear of ladders without any real recall of why would be really confusing because then you're like, was I a contractor? What happened? Yeah. In a past life. Yeah. In a past life. Anyway, what other updates do we have? Okay. This is from Emily, who wasn't sure if she should get a boob job. This is one of my favorite updates. She says, Hey Chelsea, after speaking with you, it actually made me feel a little more confident in the skin I have now, and I have only one body and take pretty damn good care of it. So for me, it's not a super huge need because I'm so comfortable and confident in the person I am. Yes, some boobs

would boost some of my confidence, but it's not the end-all be-all. I can live without them. I also took the time to do some more research, and while I was on the fence 50-50 at first, I think I'm going to stay small chested at the moment. And then one day, if and when I have kids, maybe rethink that decision. But I will definitely go with Chelsea's advice and do a large B cup, small C cup if that day comes. Emily. Music to my ears. Speaking of which, I was on vacation with two friends, two people who have had boob jobs that I know have had to have second and third boob jobs. So like, because as you get older, your boobs keep growing.

So then you have to reduce them even more. So yeah, you just have to keep that in mind when you're getting a boob job, that when you get older hormonally, something happens to just, or if you gain any weight at all, your boobs gain the most weight. Wow. Yeah, this is OK. Great. Great. Yeah. Check that off my list, Catherine. If I have a list. First of all, we have to make a list and then we have to check

things off of it. OK. So our last update for today comes from caller Billy, who was actually on our very first episode, Mothers. He had wanted to move to Maine, and that would take him away from his adoptive mom, but he wasn't sure how to do that and still let his mom know that he loved her. So you guys encouraged him to follow his dream and make the move. Things have been going well, he says. I've officially gotten my alcohol and drug counseling licensure activated in Maine. In the meantime, rural Minnesota does not have many spaces for queer folk, so I decided to be proactive. I've been in the process of developing a queer support group for young people and their parents in my hometown.

I feel it's important to provide the resources that I needed when I was young. I'm also organizing a drag show in the same town to help fund and raise awareness for the support group. Slowly but surely, I've been figuring out who I want to be and what I want to give to others. My mother actually tracked down the mother's episode and listened to the interview. It definitely gave her something to think about and brought us some much-needed dialogue regarding our relationship. The interview also jump-started the healing process regarding the struggles behind the adoption and everything that followed. All the best, Billie. Oh, wow. Good use of your time and energy, Billie. Way to go. Way to turn all of that confusion into something more powerful and setting an example for others. And also,

his mom hearing the podcast, which, by the way, anyone who ever calls in, your family will hear about it. I mean, at some point, it all comes back in one big circle. It's just like karma. So you should keep that in mind when you're calling in even obviously, if you don't want that you can disguise your name and blah, blah, blah. But if you use your real name, it's just a matter of time. I but I will say to that end, I think that sometimes a third party having the conversation, you know, without both parties involved, sends a stronger message when they're not involved in the actual dialogue. So his mom hearing about that or your mom hearing about that sounds like it was a good conversation starter for you. And I'm really psyched you got out of there. You don't need to be around where people aren't respecting and, you know, even lauding you. They should be psyched that you're there. And it sounds like in the community that you moved into, they're all going to be very

psyched that you're there because you're helping everybody. So I love to hear all about that. And it turns out, I mean, anybody could give advice if we're getting such positive results. I mean, yeah, almost anybody could do it. You guys, if I could do it, anybody can do it. So I think we have to take a quick break right now. And when we come back, we'll have some questions for you, Chelsea. I love personal questions. I hope they're personal. They are.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend.

Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Oh, yeah, really.

No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really? No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, the first one here. How do you manage your time so well? You seem to do so much. Your career is always popping. You work out and meditate consistently. And you're basically an unofficial doctor. Noah? patient or I have somebody with symptoms that I can't quite break down. So that's easy because I don't have an office because I don't have a degree. So it's very off the cuff. And usually with people that are in my life, I don't get unknowns. But managing my time, I have to be honest, I really require a lot of sleep. And if I can get sleep like eight or nine hours a night, then I can really

have a high functioning day. And if I don't, even for one night, I feel like my eyes are burning. Like right now, I went to a hookah bar last night to smoke hookah. Oh, I'm doing a 30 day no alcohol thing. I've decided because the 30 day weed thing was just such a big hit. And we inspired so many people. And I got so many DMS on Instagram of people who did it. So I am on day four of no drinking. And I'm going to go a month without drinking just because I drank so much sangria in in Mallorca that my skin started to turn purple and also my teeth. And it wasn't a hot look. So I'm just going to detox for some clarity because winter's right around the corner.

And that's margarita time. So anyone who wants to join me on a 30-day detox, DM me, let me know how you're doing, write into the podcast, let us know. I'm using it to get serious mental clarity. That's great. Right. Yeah, I've actually been thinking about doing that too.

Well, do it with me. Okay. Why don't you do it? All right, I will. I mean, this is the time to do it before the holidays. Yeah. Right? So I started September 19th,

October 19th. That way we're good for, well, Halloween. It's not like I'm celebrating Halloween. At least I hope I'm not. Right. You can celebrate in another way, like smoke a little, whatever. Yeah, right. Exactly. So I'll figure out another way. All right. I'm on board. Great, Catherine. Yeah. Exciting. I kind of got to the point where like if I have a glass or two of wine, then I immediately have a hangover. So it's. Yeah. Like two glasses is like hangover time. Yeah.

And I also noticed when you go out a couple of times without drinking, it's just it becomes a less and less of a situation. Like last night we went out for ramen and we had like there were six of us and then we went to a hookah bar and I just had my I just had weed. I just decided to stick with that. And then I didn't even miss it. So, yeah, we'll see how long I can go. Well, good. Our next question for you comes from Evan Dillon. Do you find it crazy that total strangers can find inner healing through you as a public figure? Yes, I do find that crazy. But you know what, I'm just going to take whatever comes my way and not be. Yeah, I love to heal people. I can't tell you how many people come up to me and tell me things. You know, you do things that you never even think about again. So it's important to recognize that you've have an impact on people. It doesn't matter how big or how small. I know

I've said that so many times, but it really the ripple effect of like kindness and listening and inspiration goes a long way. So it gives me a lot of faith in humanity, you know, that you can say something to somebody. I know people have said things to me that have changed the course of the direction of my life. And so when I think about this podcast, I always just think about that. All right. Our next question is, I don't even think we answered the time management question, really. I mean, sleep time management is sleep. Okay. Yeah. I mean, okay.

Let me just get back to that so that I can give you something. I, I always work out first thing in the morning, always get that out of the way so that I don't have to deal with that or Ben Bruno at, you know, an hour where I'm fully awake and alert. And then I meditate at the same time. I do the meditation before I work out every morning. So I like to bang those things like the necessary things of my day, I bang them out first thing in the morning, so that I have room to be creative later. And I have room to work on my stand up and have room for all of that, like writing and development and all that stuff. So I don't know

if that helps. But I would say whatever's the most important to you are the things that you feel like are your tasks for the day, which were probably meditation and working out. Just kind of rock them out right away or knock them out or rock them out or rock out with your cock out. I don't know. You decide. Fabulous. Our next question comes from Jodi. Have you found a good product to remedy the dark, hollowed out under eye circles that come from cannabis use? Oh, yeah. You know, OK, so I use this product called Liz Earl Oil and it's got rose hips, which is really good for under eye circles and also green tea.

But I would green tea eye patches. I don't know the name of the brand offhand, but there's a lot of under eye patches that work and some of them that are crappy. So there's one like anything with green tea helps the swelling a lot. If you're talking about swelling, if you're talking about the darkness, rose hips, vitamin E is good for that. And you can find those in different serums. You just kind of have to find a serum, like a face serum that you put on before your moisturizer. I use Liz Earle and I also use this Mindy Walter stuff, which is vitamin C is really important for those dark circles too. So you can look up any of those. And if you're getting those kind of dark circles from pot smoking though, you should also probably just try and do edibles because I could definitely

notice a difference in my skin tone when I'm smoking versus doing edibles. You know, I know the smoking is fun and everything, but we've talked about the merits of just eating your cannabis. So I would say try and pivot more towards that. Okay. And I'm reading this next one verbatim, but Steven Husker asks, are you ever going to make OnlyFans? First of all, it's an OnlyFans, Steven. It's not OnlyFans. And I don't think I haven't thought about it, but my team has advised strongly against it. I already have so many videos out there that would be qualified to be on OnlyFans. So no, I'm not going to do that. I don't think so. I don't think that's the right move for me right now. But I encourage anybody with an open mind and and other open things to join OnlyFans, you know, and open up your heart.

And if you have a question or you and a loved one have a question, please write in to DearChelseaProject at gmail.com. DearChelseaProject at gmail.com. And also, you know, I would like to invite couples, whether you're friends or you're married or you're seeing each other, any types of couples that need a sounding board. I'm into that big time. And we haven't had a lot of that in season one. So hopefully we can branch out in season two. And I know some people are resistant to hearing feedback. But, you know, that's the point, to have a third party. Hmm. Anyway, these are my fantasies.

I hope they come true. And to all of our previous callers, we love the updates. Nothing brings me more pleasure. It's like being a parent, but without babies. Do you know what I mean? Please send me your report card. Okay. Well, this was your little mini update from Catherine and me.

And we are going to be back next week with another mini update. And then we're starting season two. What's the date we're starting season two, Catherine? update from Catherine and me. And we are going to be back next week with another mini update. And then we're starting season two. What's the date we're starting season two, Catherine? October 7th. October 7th. Right in time for fall. Right in time to plan our Halloweens together, everybody. So stay tuned. We're not going anywhere for very long. And I'll be back next week to tell you about my love life. So, okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, everybody. Bye, Catherine. Bye. Bye.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.