Dear Chelsea - Season Break Nugget 2: You’ve Shamed Me Before

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

Chelsea and Catherine cry a little bit and get updates from this season’s callers.  * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey there, we're looking for couples to write into Dear Chelsea for a very special episode that's coming up next season. So if you're a couple or a thruple who want to call in and get advice together, go ahead and write into dearchelseaproject at gmail.com to get your questions answered. Hi, how are you, Katherine? Hi, I'm doing great, Chelsea. Is that a different voice? Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm just further from the mic. Oh, God. It sounded almost like you were throwing your voice. I have lots of different

voices to match all my different personalities. So I can't blame you. Including the growl. Yeah, this is the... I do love the growl. Well, I have a couple of updates for you, Chelsea. Oh, okay. Welcome to one of our little mini nugget episodes. We're in between seasons.

We're coming back May 12th for season three, but we decided to brighten your day with a little missive. Exactly. So we got an email from Michelle, whose husband had been leaving her on E in her car when she was driving around with the kids. Oh, yeah, the guy who was selfish and didn't want to refill her gas tank. Yes. And she, like, ran out of gas on the highway, all these things. So she said, I'm happy to report our gas tanks have not been hitting empty. Establishing rules has definitely helped us pave a path forward and prioritize each other's needs.

I also think it was really helpful to have a neutral third party like you all to weigh in because it is an objective opinion. George does not love that I aired our dirty laundry, but that'll be a topic I write in another time. Thanks so much, Michelle. Oh, my God. Wow. Success, you guys. Her husband was leaving her with an empty gas tank when she has two small children and they were driving around and running out of gas and a couple other like thoughtless things. Yeah.

And it's just it's one of those things that like it's rules, but it's also just setting up systems for yourself. So you are set up for success. Yeah. You know, when you have those in place and just like, well, if it gets to a quarter of a tank, whoever has it fills it up, then. Yeah. It's great. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's happy.

OK, well, that's a nice update. I have some stand updates coming up, too it's great. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's happy. Okay, well that's a nice update. I have some stand-up dates coming up, too, on my schedule. For those of you who want to see me perform, I'm coming to the Wiltern Thursday, May 5th. Two shows at the Wiltern. Then Friday, May 6th, two shows in San Francisco

at the Masonic. And after that, I have a lot of dates coming up, actually. Ooh, New Orleans, Birmingham, Alabama, San Antonio, Texas. Lots of places. So please go to

ChelseaHandler.com for your tickets and I will see you on the road for my vaccinated and horny People's Choice award-winning

comedy tour. Amazing. Yeah. Okay. This was Kay who wrote in on our Uzo episode with Uzo Aduba. And she had had an affair with someone who was in her community who she was also kind of friends with the wife, but we weren't really sure how close she was with the wife and if she should tell her. So this is what she had to say. I'm glad that I remember all of these callers because

Joe says I don't remember anything that I have blackout memory. But I actually have better. I have short term memory and long term memory loss, which I think is pretty common. Especially with, I think, the weed. I have noticed a significant uptick in your memory of things since you stopped smoking so much weed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You've mentioned that.

You've shamed me before, Catherine. So thanks again. Sorry. So Kay says, thank you for treating me with some grace in a vulnerable and sensitive situation. I blocked him already on everything, including his wife, which I don't know how she didn't think that was shady. But he reached out on Snapchat and I wrote back, please don't contact me anymore. I also recently got remarried so happily. He wrote to send me, well, at least send me one last dirty pic. This is what the guy she cheated with said. Guys are so gross with their dirty pics.

Like, that's what we want. Exactly. She says, what the F? I blocked him on Snap now and he doesn't really have any other form of contacting me. My ex-husband is a firefighter and the guy I had an affair with is now a chief of the fire department. His wife was not a close friend, but obviously we hung out a lot and went to holiday parties and such with the fire department, all while pretending this wasn't going on. I wasn't super close to her, but it does still

make me feel guilty. So it was helpful to hear that not only would I blow up his family, but likely his job. And what Chelsea said, what he does now is not my problem. I know that while I was actively participating, it was my problem. But now that it's been a year and a half and he's still trying to reach out, I put the line in the sand. I feel like he didn't really take me seriously when I said I would tell her, since his response was, well, send me one last dirty pic. Ugh. Last part of this is, my new husband knew all about the situation when we met and I was very honest with him, which I think that's awesome. Good for you. Yeah. I know I need to tell him, but I think he'd lose his shit if he knew this guy reached

out to me recently and maybe do something dumb like try to find him online or his wife and blow everything up. Ugh. The decisions and messes we make follow us for a long ass time. Yeah, good one. Never again will I make this mistake, Kay. Oh, well, thank you, Kay, for following up with us. We love updates. Yes. That's great. Awesome. Yeah, that's a good line. The decisions and mistakes we make follow us forever, especially if it involves a lie. Yes. Then it's like one lie turns into 20, turns into 30. And then all of a sudden you don't even know what the fucking truth is anymore. You're like, oh my God, believe me, I speak from experience. I used to lie to men all the time to

get out of stuff. Yeah. Instead of being direct, because I thought I was saving their feelings, but no, you're just creating a maelstrom of like bullshit. And then other people have to lie on your behalf and then they're mad at you and and it's better to just be direct and say I'm not interested that way it's like okay that person can recover much sooner rather than being duped and tricked you know because my lies would become elaborate like yeah you know I'd have to go to Peru in an emergency like arm wrestling tournament you know it's just so stupid also I just want to mention that I am shooting my stand-up special in Nashville

at the Ryman. I have two shows, June 10th at the Ryman. So I hope that you guys can come down and see me in Nashville. And if you don't live in Nashville,

make a weekend out of it. Fantastic. Well, that's great. And we'll see you guys next week. Okay. See you later. Bye.