Dear Chelsea - Soap in the Hole with Cat and Nat

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

Podcasters Cat and Nat join Chelsea from their car to talk about what it’s like running a business with your bestie, how they bought new engagement rings together without telling their husbands,  what it’s like co-parenting 7 kids, and why they have a joint bank account.  Then: A weed smoker wonders if 14 years is too long not to cohabitate.  A 26-year-old mom has too many kids - and one very particular favorite.  And a twenty-something has fallen for her roommate… who also happens to be her ex’s cousin. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships

and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, good morning, Catherine. Oh, hello. Good morning. Does everybody want to hear me sing?

Oh, I don't think so. But I have learned how to dance a little bit. What I've learned is to just sidestep to the beat, like just the two-step. I can do that. So I'm going to do that. Yeah. Just for everything. And I'm not going to try to get

anything more complicated than that. You know what, Chelsea? Sorry, Catherine. I just want everyone to know that I'm drinking room temperature water right now. It's actually got a little bit of a coolness to it. So it's palatable. But this is a real tough pill for me to swallow. She does not like the water. I left my thermos in my car. I love my thermoses, by the way. Shout out to Welly. They make the best thermoses. I can put ice in my Welly bottle, and it's ice three days later. Yes. Can I tell you something?

Yeah. I have made yogurt in my Welly bottle before. Oh, I... You know what, Catherine? This is not something I want to hear about. This is right up... I'm surprised you didn't say cottage cheese. I have made my own cheese, actually, before. I believe surprised you didn't say cottage cheese. I have made my own cheese actually before.

I believe you. I mean, fucking Brad, way to bury the lead being married to Catherine. She's up to no good. I love fermented foods. I had a military death on one of my planes the other day and we stopped and they were transporting a military bottle. Body. Let's see, body. And there was a whole ceremony outside the plane with the military and their family,

which was sad because they were all crying. But it was really sweet to see how they do that. Wow. I was like, well, wait, I guess the airports aren't that fucked up if they can swing this. You know what I mean? Truly. That at least had some decorum and some respect. Yeah.

Because I don't know what's happening with flights lately, but something is way off. One of my girlfriends got stuck at Burbank Airport for like all of Christmas Day. Oh, everyone did. Southwest canceled all their flights. I mean, yeah, it's been pretty brutal, the travel situation, but I guess. I have to tell you, Chelsea,

we have not had a question in a long time that's had as much totally varied feedback as Jessie from a couple weeks ago she called in and remember we talked to her like all like the entire episode with brooke shields about her in-laws yelling at her on the rafting trip and then we kind of got after her we discovered at the end of the call she seemed to be she needed to do some work yeah well we discovered that early on but we were trying to be respectful before, at least I was, before I told her. Yeah. So the dishwashing. But we had people emailing

and being like, go get her, girls. She did wrong. Other people being like, no, it was totally her in-laws fault for screaming at her. And I just thought it was really interesting. I don't know if you've gotten DMs about this, but I've gotten a lot of emails about this. No, I haven't. I haven't. Yeah. Well, that is interesting. Yeah. I'm sure. Well, it's a very relatable situation, right? Yeah. It's tough with in-laws. I think nobody deserves... Well, if you don't get married,

you don't have to deal with that. That's true. Another reason, okay? Another perk to not being married. I think, you know, her family's got some shit to work out, too. Because if somebody's screaming

at you about dishes two years later, they wanted something to be mad at you about. You know what I mean? No, I think that's a really kind of icky thing to do if you're at someone's house and you make a habit of nobody's supposed to ask you to help at someone else's house.

Like it's not the onus is not on them. You gotta jump in. You gotta even I do it and not even I because like I'm someone special, even I who doesn't know how to wash dishes. I shouldn't be washing dishes. It's worse when I do it. Yeah. I always get up and try. Yeah. I try to make an effort because it's manners. I mean,

it's pretty basic. Yeah. But people were up in arms about Jessie. Well, people were up in arms once when I did some poll about toilet paper, whether it should be upside down coming from the bottom or coming from the top. Or I was on the Drew Barrymore show and we were doing something and it was the biggest thing I mean there were like 15,000 comments about people's opinions and I finally figured out that I prefer because I had never thought about it before prefer it from the bottom you do I don't want it from the top yeah I want to top down oh you do interesting we're just different in every way, Chelsea. Well, yeah. So far we have not found one similarity, except that we both are on this podcast. That's accurate. That's what we have in common.

Well, Chelsea, today we have some really exciting guests. Okay, great. I can't wait. I can't wait to find out who they are. Today we have my two Canadian mom friends, Kat and Nat. These girls are two hot fucking messes, and I'm excited to have them on because they're besties, and then they tour around. Well, they tour around America, too, and Canada,

and they both have a bunch of children, and they talk a lot about motherhood, parenting, and I don't know who turned me on to them, but we're buddies now. They have seven kids between them. Oh, that's better than me having them. Are you guys ride sharing? Yeah. Yeah, we are. We always, she doesn't drive. Yeah.

She has a car and a license, but she won't drive. I don't drive on the highway. Just in the city. Only a few streets. The city or the suburb? No, we're in the city. I like streets the city or the suburb no we're in the city i like the city because it's short streets lots of lights like everything's really fast and quick but if you go to the suburbs you have to take the highway i don't go there okay this is kat i mean this is sorry this is katherine hi and this is kat and this is net no well wait you doesn't matter yeah Doesn't matter.

Yeah. I basically just call them both cat. We can all three be cat today. When they meet us, they'll say, you're cat and Nat, even if we're not together. Hi. Oh, I love you, cat and Nat. That's it. So it's literally, it's totally fine.

I mean, look at us. I know. I would be confused too. I know. It is very confusing because you guys do really look a lot alike. But only from hanging out with you, I know that Kat is more of like a busy body and Nat is a little bit lazier. Yeah.

She loves to lie vertically. I am. No, horizontally. And also, they went on tour. Okay. Let's talk about the genesis of you guys so that I want Catherine to be as familiar with me because I don't even remember how I met you two I just know that we are friends now but explain to Catherine explain the genesis

of everything that you two do you guys went on tour as mothers basically right you're talking about motherhood all the time on your Instagram and how nuts it is. First of all, it was a joke. We decided to do a show as a joke because no one invites us anywhere. So we were like, oh, we'll make a party. And we, our first show, you guys, we threw for free, gave free drinks and free appetizers for everybody. We wanted to host a party. We didn't pay for it. We found people to sponsor it. So we host a party in a theater.

And then we go out to go have a cocktail party with everyone. And we get mauled. We were like, oh, we were just here to hang out. And we couldn't get through the crowd. The security guard basically took us and pulled us back inside. I was like, that's weird. That was weird. We just needed an excuse to get away from the seven kids and go and have a party. And for our party, we wanted a DJ. We wanted strippers. We wanted flamenco dancers. We wanted dancing. We want to drink and we want a champagne. So we just created a party

and then started selling tickets to it. And then our agents were like, okay, if you can sell out like three more theaters theaters we'll talk about a tour okay just kind of all came together we had a podcast and I don't know I wrote a couple books and then Chelsea once like commented on our Instagram and we died and and the people were you see the Chelsea's oh my god that I don't want to actually talk to her like I didn't want to I'm like don't say yes to our podcast because that's pressure. And then because you're like a real, you're funny or funny and famous or not us, her. I honestly, and then it was more like, we're just shit shows and people liked that. So, and now we've seen Chelsea three times this year. One, we came to your show in Toronto.

Two, you met us at the Soho house. Three, we're seeing you right now. Where do you guys live? And you live in Toronto. So everyone knows they're Canadian, but they tour in America. So what was your agent for before you decided to start? How did you even have an agent? She emailed every person at WME and just said, you know what? We're heading out and we may need someone to help us with deals. And they said, yes.

It was so weird. But we did. We were doing videos. We were doing the mom truths videos. And those were videos in the car, just like talking about what it's like to be a mom. We were doing what else do we do, but not glorifying what it's like to be a mom. No, how hard it is to be a mom, just how demanding it is, and all the disappointments in that you're not going to win all the time. And there's going to be a lot of failures, and you're going to feel like a failure. And that all of that is fine. Yeah And that's exactly how we felt when we first

had our babies. We were just like, we thought this was going to be so beautiful and it's actually not and nobody's talking about it. So let's just start doing some videos because a lot of moms were like blogging at the time and we weren't going to sit down and write. So we did videos. No one was doing videos. Social media wasn't really a thing. And then everything just came at the same time. Like we had been doing live streaming through YouTube and then Facebook live came. So we turned it to Facebook live. It's been a lot of like chance and opportunity and saying, yes, you know, we were, we went to a conference that we had really no idea. We just kind of decided to go and the today show was there and the two producers, they found us walking in a

hallway and they asked us a question and then they were like wait will you two come with us here I'm like yeah sure and then we just went with them and then it's actually been a lot of women who because we really are naive in this world of what we've been doing and it's really been women like you Chelsea and like the Today Show and people have just said like yes and they've they've just helped us and you, when you open a door, like even when you comment, that's what people see. And they're like, oh, she's looking at them. That means that they're worthy of me looking at them. Unfortunately, it's sort of the way it looks. And even when you don't think you're opening doors, kindness goes so far. And you, you personally have opened a ton of doors for us. And we know people say yes, because you've said

yes. So I just think, you know, I see amy schumer now comments and follows us and i'm pretty sure that that's probably because she saw you you know what i mean that you did so then she kind of took notice and now i just think a lot of women have been so impactful in ways they don't know for us because it's really a lot of yeses that's all we've really done and stumbled and failed and gotten up and some shows are do shit and terrible and you're like like, oh, that's not my demo. But you can't let that hurt your ego because we don't knock it out of every city. But we figure out we regroup and we go back to the place. You know what I mean? It's always reverse correct, reverse correct. It's kind of like that. And what would you say that you feel like thus far your biggest impact has been for

other mothers? I think it's like for women, too. You know, we have a lot of young people who follow us, like 15-year-olds, 14-year-olds, who wait in the parking lot after the show and sneak into our shows to come see us. And I think that right now it's our friendship for a lot of people that brings them hope and that they find comfort in our friendship even more than motherhood. Oh, yeah, that's true. Because that's honestly, that's what attracted me to you to the bestie vibe. I always love a bestie dynamic. And I feel like we fuck up constantly,

but we pick each other up. And it's because we have each other, we can do what we do. And I think that our friendship is really... And the young people are on TikTok, like, if this isn't us when we're older than I don't, I don't want to be. I love that. Yeah. So it's sort of this weird, you know, you don't have to give up your best friend because you're an adult. And I think that's what a lot of people think. You have to grow up and lose your friendship. No, you just have to time your babies and families together so that you're both on the same track. Cause I was asking them about their other friendships, independent of their own, because you both have separate groups of friends that don't necessarily cross over to your cat or Nat, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we have separate

friendships. We for sure planned a bunch of them that like we're like, don't you can't pull out. You know what I mean? Like you're not pulling friends. But it's like you are. No, we planned the babies before our husbands had any idea what's happening. It's almost like your husbands are both just so inconsequential in this dynamic. It's, you know, I feel sad for them, but I also feel like, you know, good.

When we travel, they take care of the kids. They're the ones. Yeah, it's pickup time right now and they check off. They're not working so they can pick up the kids. So they are also a huge reason.

They support our friendship and what we do. So we are very, they're not just sperm. You know what I mean? Okay. Well, sure. Sure. We'll agree on that. Also, they travel on a tour bus and they don't sleep in the same bed because they don't, they're not down with that. But that's more Nat than Kat, right? From what I remember. Would you two sleep together? I would sleep in a bed with anybody.

I have no problems with that. I do snuggle though. I mean, I prefer, not if we're sleeping together, you won't. This one over here. Fuck. You're going to snuggle me. My one friend, I have one friend who always wants to sleep holding hands. So I had to kick her out. I go, you know what? I'm not holding hands with you all night. I was down to sleep with you. She slept over my house the other night and we woke up in the morning and there's plenty of rooms for her to sleep in. And she got up in the morning and she goes, I didn't touch you. I didn't touch you. I'm like, yeah, that's what the fuck is supposed to happen. Can't sleep with me if you're going to fucking hold my hand. You're not my boyfriend. Well, honestly, we always say like, we have tried to teach these seven kids to sleep independently

on their own. And then finally they learn how to sleep on their own and then you get your relationship and now you're just supposed to share a bed again. Like it just doesn't make sense for the way that we have learned how to sleep. So yeah, I mean, she does it too. We build a wall between our husbands of pillows and I don't want like, maybe his feet might creep over, like a hand might creep over, but that's not going to happen between the two of us. Independent sleeping. Like if I can have my own bed, I haven't had my own bed in a long time. Like someone's in you, on you, or wants to get in you at all times. So you're like, when you get your own bed. I haven't had my own bed in a long time. Like someone's in you, on you, or wants to get in you at all times. So you're like, when you get your own bed, it's like, that's amazing. Share heaven. So you want like Lucy and Ricky style, like two beds in the bedroom.

So sometimes people will fly us out and they'll get us two rooms. And then we get to the hotel, we're like, we only use one room with two beds. But can we change that king to two queens? That's the ultimate for all sleeping is to be in the same room or the same house with a big group, but everyone has their own privacy. Yes, dreams. Catherine, why did Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds? Well, I think it wasn't allowed for them to have one bed. Well, no, that was in that time era. Like people did that. People had separate sleeping arrangements. I'm not sure. I guess. Why did that change? I'm not sure. I don't know. They were married, right? Yeah.

They made little, Ricky. Because they were fucking smarter than us, I guess. I mean, that's what needs to come back in style if it should be retroactive. I think everyone who has a child, I don't even have a child and I feel that way, but anyone who has a child is definitely on board for separate beds. Is your dog free with you, Chelsea? Yeah, Yeah. I want them to, but they even reject

me. They don't want to stay in the bed all night. I have to leave the little doggy steps. So Bernice will like humor me. She's like, Oh, here we go. You know, she thinks I'm like assaulting her. So she goes to her safe spot while I assault her. And then I put her under the covers, like, like we're going to do it. And I noticed that if I have the confidence of her not leaving, she will remain. It's when I look at her and like, you know, and I'm worried about her leaving is when she leaves. So she can vibe off me. It senses your insecurity. Yes. Yes. And Bert has basically turned into some sort of limp biscuit. So I can't, he's not getting in my bed because he's frail now. So I have to respect that. No more abuse.

Even though he's probably got that way from my frail now. So I have to respect that. No more abuse. Fair, fair. Even though he's probably got that way from my abuse. Anyway, so let's talk a little bit about your friendship. Okay, we've talked about it before when you guys interviewed me, but I think it's inspiring for a lot of people that will be listening how your friendship works and what the benefits to each of your lives are by having such a close, fun, work-friend relationship.

Kat, why don't you start? I think for us, well, number one, it allows you to take sort of more risks because when there's two of you losing and failing, it's a lot, it's funnier and it's a lot easier than when it's one of you. And I think that when you're both in it together, there's no, everything feels fun that we do.

There's nothing, we could be on a delay on an airplane for 12 hours. And it's funny. Like there's, it just, the stakes just feel different because it's, everything's kind of a joke. And in a way that when parenting is going to shit, we call each other and thank God it often doesn't go to shit at the same time or when your relationship's not great. And you always have someone to share everything with because there's, you're so intimate with them, but you don't have sex with them that it's like this weird, we're not transactional. We're so tight that when you know, when someone's going through something, they don't have to say it. The other one can just pick up the work slack,

knowing that that one needs that and vice versa. So it's this weird, I think we get double done because there's two of us versus one of us. And there's no, if we failed and lost everything tomorrow, I would be okay because our ride has been so much fun and we would still have each other and we'd probably figure out something else to do in a different capacity, but this wouldn't change. And I think that's the coolest thing about our friendship. It's friendship first and then fun and then work. Yeah. And what about you, Nat? I want you to speak on this this. This is going to be hard for her. She doesn't do feelings. I know. That's why you're going second. She got inspired.

She told me recently why I love her. We were on a plane and we were talking about love and what love is and why she loves me and I love her. And she basically told me I love her because she does things for me, like drive me around and make sure she stays, book her plane tickets, renew her license. I was like, I think it's more than that, but maybe that's all it is. It's been 14 years of being moms together and there has been so many hard times. It hasn't all been like he, she, he, and we've had a postpartum anxiety. We've had sickness. We've had so many things, but being able to rely on your friend to, like she said, pick up, pick up when the other one can't. But also like my kids say to

me, you are so lucky. You get to go to work every day with your best friend and there's no boss, right? We're equal bosses. So we don't have to go into work, have a boss, go to work all day with a bunch of like weirdos or strangers. It's just us. And everything we get to do is fun. I do remind them that what we do is work and we work hard together, but we work together really well because we know each other so well, but yeah, we get to just have fun. And also it's really great that our children get to have sort of like a second mother so that when, um, like our siblings, our seventh, which is my baby, my baby's a seven, but our seventh is so ferocious because she's had to have like seven above her. Like she's grown up with six siblings, essentially.

She's ferocious. I'm the youngest of six. So I know exactly what you're talking about. Ferocious. Our two babies are ferocious. And I just think they're so lucky that they always have a built-in tribe. Like, you know, I'm sure you feel it. Like when you have a lot of people around you, it's like this built-in little thing that you got bumpers around you. And we take them on vacation together and we spend summers together and we force them all together. I hate us walking on the plane. 11 of us, seven children and the two of us walking onto a plane. Everyone's like, my daughter has spilled a hot cup of noodles on two different men on two different plane rides.

They had to change their pants. Oh, God. Oh, how humiliating. She offered him candy as like an apology. And we left the two girls like, Mom, we spilled. I don't know who you are. You deal with this man and his pants. That's when you fan out.

Fan out and get away from your children. You don't want to be seen with them. And do you guys have similar parenting styles? Are you guys like agree on the way you parent? Or you do differ in that way? We like parent each other's children differently. Like her kids will come to me for some things and my kids will go to her for things. Like we definitely have different personalities. Our mothers mothered us differently. But overall, I respect totally the way that she does it. And she

respects the way that I do it. We go to each other for different advices. Like she has experts and I have expertise and then we blend. And what do you think your strong suit is? Your strong parenting suit is, Kat? Oh God, that's so serious. You know, I'm like the talker. So they'll call me like yesterday. She's like, mom, we're going through some anxiety. Can you walk us through these feelings of we're in the car and our kid's in the car? I'm like, yep, let's go. Here we go. I'm like, I don't know where we go when we die. I do the sex. Like I'm the sex conversation. I land the plane. You know, I'm like, if you don't know about a boner by grade two, we're screwed. So like, I'm like boner, penis, vagina, people do it for fun and for babies. We sit them all down and

lay it out. And not as strong suit is she's the one who's like, let's get up on the couch and the tables and dance. We bring the fun and I'm the combo. She's the person who's like the party starter. Like always. Yes. Can we have a bag of candy? Yes. Can we go here? Yes. Yeah. But I'm not, I'm not there to talk, talk about it. They'll all call me and I'm like, let's talk. Okay. I see. I see. Yeah. I understand that. I get that from you too. And then I have to, because we share a bank account and a credit card. So we all, all of our money goes into one account. The two of us. You are married. You guys co-mingle your funds.

Yeah. Yes. But like we have other, like the funds with the husbands and that's where everything's in. No. And we have to look at the budget. But but with us like we didn't even know for the first few years we had to pay taxes we had the most amazing first couple of years until we found out about all that they're basically like you're broke you need to start fresh and we're like shit but we always just like we like to spend money and have fun something i'm like let's go get it and then we just go buy it out of the company oh my god God, I love that you have a bank account together. That is so ridiculous. We changed our wedding, our engagement rings to different styles together without our husbands knowing. I just told you

10 minutes ago that your husbands are inconsequential and you disagree with me and you're just proving my point. Everything you're saying is supporting what I said 10 minutes earlier. So yeah, they're very valuable. Thank God for those two. Thank God for them. Well, we tried to curate your episode today, ladies. Yes. Catherine is very good at curating towards, you know, the guests that we have on to the caller so that you're going to be of some help. Since I know that Nat isn't to talk therapy and she's going to be really valuable in this conversation. Yeah, no, Kat. Nat will not go to therapy, but you probably still have some good advice that you can share.

Chelsea, I was a social worker previous to this long show. You were Nat's social worker before you guys teamed up. Yes. Well, we're going to take a quick break and then we'll be back and we'll take some callers and some emails. Okay, we're taking a break. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom and love.

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Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody. Every type of musical lover. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks

who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend

Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. We're back. We're back. Well, our first email comes from a mom who is going by Tired AF. Dear Chelsea, I'm a 26-year-old mom of four, two of which I had eight months ago. Twin girls. One of them is so chill, only cries when she needs something, and an all-around normal baby. The other one is exhausting.

In her defense, she does have colics, some stomach problems, and she's currently teething. But she literally never stops crying. Since the day she was born, she's crying like 50% of every day. I have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old who also do their fair share of crying, and it gets to me. I find myself thinking about how nice it would be if she could be more like her twin sister. She's the easiest baby I've ever cared for, and I'm the oldest of 10, so I've had my fair share of experiences with babies. My question to you is, how do I not play favorites with the twins when there so obviously is one? I, of course, love them both equally, but let's be honest. I'm scared this might carry into the future and become a problem when they get older and start to realize the vibe.

But it's so hard to keep it together with everything going on. Oh, shit. What do I do about having a favorite? Sincerely, Tired AF. I can't even believe that she had the time to write that. Like, that sounds like such a shit show over there. I mean, she's 26 years old. Like, her brain just got fully developed a

year ago. Just now that is crazy. And the only thing I could think of is I have four kids as well. I did not have four kids at 26. I did not have nine siblings, but there is times in the cycle of our children that there is a favorite and absolutely that quiet baby is going to be the favorite because it's giving the least problems. But my quietest ones a year later are the hardest ones. And people always ask us, do you have a favorite? I'm like, it depends on the day. So I'm pretty sure that quiet little one isn't going to be your favorite forever. That one's going to come out of nowhere. Yeah. You never get nothing. Nothing's got free. No one's good for life. You know, your quiet baby's going to be No one's good for life. You know,

your quiet baby's gonna be a pregnant drug addict by 14. Yeah. And so enjoy the time that you have them as your favorite, because I've talked to a lot of men about this, because I know women's answer is pretty kind of what you guys are saying. I always get an interesting answer. Men have consistently said whichever child needs me the most is their favorite. And that changes all the time too. So it's kind of like the opposite of what this woman is going through. So I think, I don't think it's unusual to have a favorite. My mom said the same thing all the time.

It's just like, depends on what day of the week you ask me. Totally. Yeah, and whoever's the easiest to deal with is obviously, so don't feel guilty about that. You're not alone at all. No, and just so you know, I'm just thinking about Kat's family and my family, and we both know who our mom's favorite is. And it's not, no,

it's your brother. Yeah, I guess. I'm fine with that. And she does, Natalie here does happen to have one child blown up in giant life's like giant on the wall for many years, just one of them. And she has four kids but one made the wall he's so big he's honestly the most photogenic so it was huge you walked in it was a portrait of him and i'm like everyone's like isn't that wrong and i'm like uh listen we had a photo shoot and one kid nailed it he gets the huge picture on the wall that was it yeah yeah he got it good luck next time kids oh's funny. I always say that to my family. I'm like, it's just because I'm the best looking one, you guys.

I mean, that's why everything's working out the way it has. I'm like, this world is about looks and I got them. So back up. That's how she feels too. Oh my gosh. Although he is a little on the short side compared to everybody else. So he needed the wall, if you will. We needed to start early. So yeah, I like all the reasoning behind the big picture on the short side compared to everybody else. So he needed the wall, if you will. He,

we needed to start early. So, yeah, I like all the reasoning behind the big picture on the wall so far. I'm totally on board with this. That's actually a good way to keep kids in check. If you have three or more, you blow one up and put it on the wall and be like,

guess who the favorite of the month is. Everybody needs to step their fucking game up. Oh my gosh. You are on on you are onto something favorite of it's like the employee of the month yes everyone needs incentivization children you know how when you went to sleep away camp i went to the sleep away camp well no my parents couldn't afford sleep away camp so they sent me to this day camp and every day as somebody would get like best swimmer or best finger blaster or whatever you do. And it felt even though I saw

everyone every day get an award as a kid, it felt so good to get the award. You know, it feels so good. And that's I mean, who doesn't like that? That Pavlovian, you know, response and reward. Yeah. So, yeah, I think everybody listening, I just gave you I mean, it just came out and I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's a great way to take everybody together. Yeah. And if you have braces, you just have to wait to get those off to hit the wall. No, I think I disagree, Nat. I disagree. I think sometimes kids with braces are the best and they should be given their due right. It shouldn't be based on looks. It should be based on who's the best kid that month, who had the best behavior. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. Fair. All right. Or best grades or month, who had the best behavior. You know what I mean? Okay, fair.

All right. Or best grades or whatever. However you want to categorize it is up to you. I love it. Yeah. Love it. And then when they're teenagers and they hate you and they're embarrassed by everything, you put their picture on the wall until they're good

and then you can take it down. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love that. Yes, humiliation. I mean, there's probably going to be an age where they don't want their picture on the wall. So then you have to like re-strategize. Yeah. Yeah. Then you put yourself up, but you put a nude up, you know, don't be, if you don't be going up, you know, mommy and daddy and their

boudoir shot. Yeah. Or you just make it. Yeah. That's good to threaten them with like, you're going to do a lot of public displays of affection with your husband. That's also a good threat. Yeah. I love it. You're going to write that book, Hot Parenting Tips. Absolutely. So our next caller, and this person's calling in. They're going to be on a Zoom, so girls, okay? Yes. Be ready. It's a little juicy. Veronica says, Dear Chelsea, the situation I'm in is quite a doozy. For the last six months, I was really unhappy in my relationship of five years, and after talking to my therapist a few months ago,

I decided that it would be best to end the relationship. As I started emotionally checking out, I started flirting with his cousin that also happened to be our roommate. For reference, I'm 25, my ex is 26, and his cousin is 29. The three of us were very close and would do a lot together, and I saw the cousin as a really good friend. After flirting, sneaking some kisses, and confessing love to each other at the house, I couldn't take the guilt and ended my relationship, then promptly moved out. After giving myself some time to adjust and making sure my feelings for his

cousin were real, we decided to start seeing each other. Things were going really well, but now he's started to get very upset about how much this would hurt his cousin and how he hates having to keep our relationship a secret. I've told him multiple times that you can't help who you fall for and that together we can make it work, but I still have the fear

that this is all going to blow up. I don't know if just coming clean about everything would be a good idea or if we should wait a few more months to give their family more time to get over the breakup. My biggest concern is his family hating him and exiling him over me, but I'm truly so in love with him. And if he says we can make it work, I want to believe him. Help. I don't even know where to start. Veronica. Hi there. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you guys? Good.

Our special guests today are Kat and Nat. And so they're here today. And you have Katherine. So you have four of us. Yes, I need all the advice I can get. I know, I know. You do need advice. So you were dating your previous boyfriend for how long?

Five years. And you've been previous boyfriend for how long? Five years. And you've been broken up for how long? Going on close to 10 months now. Okay. So this is going to be a problem for a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. So I get it.

I mean, it's pretty tricky. Their family is going to be upset. Somebody is going to be upset. I think so. Yeah. I would say that's a safe bet. And is your boyfriend, your current boyfriend, who is your ex-boyfriend's cousin, is he contemplating your relationship at all? Or is he committed? No, he is committed 100%. Okay, so you're both done, you're going to be together and you're going to tell his family at some point, right?

Yeah, it's just a matter of when. Okay, well, I guess I'll go first and then you girls can hop on and give your opinion. I would just say the sooner you come clean, the sooner everybody can acclimate to the new situation and the sooner everybody has to stop hiding. But be prepared for a big thunderstorm that's going to last for a long time. Possibly, potentially. But I think you should probably try and get the truth out sooner than later. And then, you know, the sooner everyone can get over it. Yeah. And it shouldn't be you.

Yeah, it should be the boyfriend. The good point. It should be your family. Yeah, you should be your boyfriend. I don't know who should tell the boyfriend. Maybe you should be the boyfriend the good point it should be your family yeah you should be your boyfriend i don't know who should tell the boyfriend maybe you should tell the boyfriend yeah i mean who are you going to tell first the boyfriend right your ex yeah yeah that's pretty tricky what do you girls think what does everyone think do they have to know that you were together when they y'all were together does that all have to come out? No. So that's another topic.

We kind of agreed to never say that anything started while the previous relationship was going on. But we think that it would be really obvious that things would start to click once the truth came out. So yeah, like my initial lie, like wait a few months and then act like you guys ran into each other. And it was so nice to see each other again and things started, but that's people always say the truth always freaking comes out. And then you're going to have to not only

face that you're dating him, but now the lies and all of the tears, the thing, Veronica, it's never going to get easier. So waiting longer is not going to make it easier. So freaking rip it and just be like, we're dating. We're in love. We're happy. Is the family understanding people or are they wild? Are we going to flip tables? Really understanding people. Oh, well, it's a good start. Okay. Did you break up? Was he heartbroken? Does he have an ex heartbroken? I would say yes. He was very shocked and surprised. Does he have a new lady? Not yet. Hook him up. We got to get him a new lady. Then he needs to be completely over you and so in love that he doesn't care what's going on. It would be great if you could wait until he has a girlfriend. That would be

good. Seriously. Because then he won't care as much. Because it's just going to be a shit show. It's exactly right. The truth is going to come out. They're going to piece it all together. And if you admit that you guys were flirting while you were with him, then he's never going to forgive you.

He's going to hold on to that for years. And that's just such bad news. Like, I wish you could just find a lie. Was there kind of some overlap there I know you said there were some stolen kisses but like was there like sex overlap no no no no no no that's can't yeah good for you if there were don't say it yeah just say there was flirting yeah flirted and we knew that was wrong and I that's why I broke up with you and you did with your cousin and I knew it was wrong. And obviously don't volunteer that there were any kisses.

If he asked did anything happen, you take that as sex. No, no, we didn't have sex. I wouldn't do that while we were dating. I don't think you should admit the kissing behind the sneaking kisses. I don't like that. And I'm advocating for you to lie. I am too. Yeah, those details might just hurt more.

They don't need to know everything. Exactly. You guys can play it off like you've been dating for a few months because you, I mean, what you said you did, which is moving out, giving yourself some space to like figure out if this was really real. Turns out it was 10 months. You know what I mean? You did a lot of the right things. You stopped it when it was going a certain direction. And I think, you know, having some white lies in there about not having physical intimacy, I think that's just fine, too. Yeah. That's so nice that you're so in love. Yeah, it's very refreshing compared to the last five years. So well, don't fucking say that. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what?

You and your new boyfriend, if you can weather this storm that you're about to get into. And listen, maybe it's not going to be a big deal. That would be ideal. But I mean, it probably will be a big deal. You know, people like to get. At least it's not his brother. You know, it could have been his brother. At least it's just a cousin.

Or his dad. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good thing to bring up. Say, at least I wasn't fucking your father great see how he likes that i just say it you know better or your mother what if i was fucking your mother that would be a real shocker you know that would be a double whammy yeah you really gotta say that this is a best case scenario i feel like it is a bit removed from the family. Yeah. Not immediate. I didn't go for immediate family. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. And I think also you have to be very, once this is out, be very sensitive to the fact that people are going to have like their little feelings about it. And then that will just eventually fade out. Yeah. Just know. And the family probably doesn't like the cousin that much. You always talk shit about cousins.

You know what I mean? They might not even be that close. So maybe you're in a great place. And get a DNA much. You always talk shit about cousins. You know what I mean? They might not even be that close. So maybe you're in a great place. And get a DNA test. Maybe they're not even cousins. Oh my gosh. A lot of surprises out there. That really is true. It is. Yeah. Get your 23andMe. I bet you. Who knows?

Who knows? Wow. Things really took a turn for a positive here. Yeah. Oh my gosh. But also like it's been 10 months. Hopefully it won't be a big deal. Right? It for a positive here. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But also, like, it's been 10 months. Hopefully, it won't be a big deal, right? It's been a while. Yeah. Yeah.

It's been a while. Yeah. Make sure you let us know what happens, okay? I'm very interested. I definitely will. And let us know when it happens, what happens. Yeah, call us back, okay? I'll give you all the juicy details.

Thank you. Yes. Perfect. Okay, good luck with that, okay? Thanks, Veronica. I'm being in love. That's right. That's awesome. That's going to be one fucked up situation. Holy shit. I'm so glad I'm not hurt. Feel the vibes from that family just by talking to her. I know it's going to go badly. The ancestors are going to be pissed.

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week,

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them.

Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there. Homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One

You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like

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It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements,

some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up

with hit maker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We have another caller, gals. This is Emily. Emily is 46. She says, Hi, favorite podcast. I left an abusive marriage in 2007. In 2008, I met a guy who, 14 years later, is still around. When we got together, we bonded over our terrible marriages, and we had kids, so our relationship became our private island. We communicate well and became great travel buddies. We don't live together, and our kids are grown. I love my me time, and so I'm on the fence about living together. When I think about getting older and having a partner to help me with things that happen when you get old, like falling or getting sick, it seems like a good idea. He just says maybe someday. Someday is fine. I'm a weed smoker and

super happy just to be living and somewhat successful. I was once anxious and now moved to a secure attachment style person. Been in therapy since I was a teen. I have so much life left to live and it would be easy to let another 15 years pass just as we are. He's still in my life, but recently the relationship's been sort of fizzling. We're still in contact, but not really together. Is it worth sticking it out another couple of years or have we peaked already and it's time to move on? I'm such an easygoing person. I'm worried I'm going to let life pass me by. I find myself asking, after 14 years together and not cohabitating, should I be asking for more?

Sincerely, Emily. Hi, Emily. Hey. This is Kat and Nat, who are our special guests today. They're from Canada. Hey. Hey. Pot is very legal here. Oh, nice. Perfect.

And you know, Catherine, cause you probably spoke to her already. She's amazing. Okay. So you've been with your partner for 14 years and you say you're independent, but then you say that you want to move in together. So it's a little confusing. Which one do you want? Okay. So it's a little confusing of a situation. We did break up. It's sort of run its course. This has been going on for a long time, but I kind of like, I'm growing up, I guess. I think I finally became an adult this year kind of thing where the same things we used to do, like he would come over and we'd hang out, we'd smoke. We were, you know, this great, perfect private island situation. And then after it got old, it just, you know, it kind of, I got busy. I like to do things outside.

He doesn't. And so I stopped doing all the things that I would do to get ready to hang out with him. And to me, that was a sign that I shouldn't continue this. I should at least think about what I need at this point in my life. Now, I love him. We get along great. Sounds like you're describing your brother or your best friend. The excitement is gone. It's over. So move on and you need to find something else. You have to be excited about the person that you are fucking. You have to be excited and want to look good for when they come over and look in the mirror and actually care about what you look like.

I know that after 14 years, that's not typical, but so great. You're not married to him. You have no reason to hang on to this. You can move on and use him as like, you know, how to have him in your life as a friendship. It's so easy to see. Yeah, for sure. It's not appropriate to be friends. I guess I'm a little unclear on what. As long as you don't have expectations from him, you know, if you can transition into a friendship

where you're not having sex with him, because I think that's confusing and that muddies the waters. We're not having sex. We haven't had sex in like a year. I mean, if it's okay to be friends with him, but you know, sometimes when we have somebody old in our life, it kind of prevents us from moving on to the new person. So I don't know if that's happening, but it sounds like what you're describing is pretty stale. You are still so young. There's so much more time. Don't fuck my jam up. Like, what are you talking about? 40 is the new 25. Like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah.

No, the whole point of that was, so we do, he has some stomach issues and he was in the hospital. I didn't get a call for three days. So that's the story there. It's like, we are getting older and like, these are things I should be thinking about, but don't. I disagree. You're right.

You're totally right. You're not sick. Why do you have to think about that? Yeah. Men are going south before women, too. So don't hook up with a guy thinking he's taking care of you because you are definitely taking care of him before he takes care of you. You know what I mean? You got to look out for you.

Go younger. Yes. Yeah. Genius. Yeah. It's go younger. And also you want your vibration here not settling yeah like vibration when you settle it just is like a limp biscuit yeah yeah hire a nanny to babysit you when you get older you know what I mean don't don't get married I would rather

pay somebody to take care of me in my last dying days than have any fucking child or niece or nephew and my nieces and nephews love me and they would take care of me in my last dying days than have any fucking child or niece or nephew. And my nieces and nephews love me and they would take care of me. But I would rather pay somebody to do it. So that when I say, get me a Belvedere on the rocks with a splash of fucking soda on my deathbed, they're going to do that. Chelsea, can I tell you where you can do that really well? My sister works in elder law, and she said that what a lot of people are doing these days is rather than going into assisted living, which is like 10 grand a month, they just go on cruises.

Cruise after cruise after cruise. Because there's more doctors per capita on a cruise than at the nursing home. Yeah, but then you have to go on a fucking cruise, Catherine. Fuck. I'm not doing that. I would go on a limited edition cruise. Like there has to be less than 50 people and then I'll go. Great.

And I have to be able to throw each one of them overboard. But anyway, you're fucking 46. You're not. Everything's great. Yeah. But can I ask you a question, Chelsea? So I know you really love your alone time and I really identified with that. My kid went back to school and I had the best day yesterday just by myself. And so do you ever think about in that situation, being very comfortable? Are you too comfortable? Or like, do you think that you should? I don't think you don't need to overanalyze yourself. Whatever feels good to you is the right thing. We are all we live in a society where it's a good thing to like have introspection. But you don't have to be overly analytical about every little move you make. There's no such thing

as I spend too much time on this. The other night I went to bed at 5.19 PM. Okay. Anyone else would be like, are you depressed? I don't give a fuck. I wanted, all I could think about was going to bed. I looked at my sleep number in the, in the morning, my stats on my phone. And it said, you fell asleep at 5.19 PM. And I was like, what a victory lap, you know, like, yeah, it's whatever. So jealous. Whatever you feel that you need is what you need. Stop judging yourself. And also, it's OK if that changes. Yes, it does change.

As you found that it has. As it does. It changes all the time. So whatever you're feeling is never going to last forever. Like, you know, you're just in this mood right now and then you're going to get out of that mood. But I would say, you know, take a little separation from that guy and his stomach. Yeah.

My one question, I think, is why it's been such a slow burn for you to make the change. Like, it's been like a year and a half of this relationship dissolving and no sex. And, you know, you're still wondering, like, do I give it two more years? What is that there? I had an answer. I just want to let everybody know that's a big silent gap. We're just all waiting. And while you figure out what your answer is.

The answer is I'm not waiting. I just, the situation is here. I've moved on with my life. And I think that I need to put a cap on that relationship and say like, look, we had a good run. And. Yeah. Is he going to feel the same way?

Just how does he feel? He knows about this call. Like he's. You know, your answer. And we all know, you know, your answer. You just want us to tell you what to do, but you know what to do. You just your answer. We all know you know your answer. You just wanted to tell you what to do, but you know what to do. You just said it. We didn't have to say anything.

You just wanted someone else to tell you. You want to cap that off. Yeah. Yeah. I think you should write that. I think you should write that on your refrigerator. Who cares? And that is to you and what anyone else might possibly think of you.

Start with that mantra every single day. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. You have your whole world. Like you're going to have a lot of men in your life. We just sometimes have to clean out the garbage in our lives. And not that, you know, any person is garbage. That's not what I'm saying. It's just some people aren't adding to our value. And some people are only there for a short period of time. And in your case, a long period of time, but it's time to dust out those cobwebs and get going with the rest of your life. Yeah. Oh, this could be such an exciting time for you. Yeah. You just became a grownup and you just found yourself. Yeah. It's going to be a good time. I have a couple

people have hit me up over the past year that I just haven't been ready to date, but. Oh yeah. Hit it back. You know, yeah. I like being by myself right now. I got to. Then don't do it. You don't have to move in with them right away. Right. I don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just go with the flow. I remember once I was hanging out with this group of people, this is a long time ago. And I remember looking around going, this isn't going to cut it. These people are not going to cut it. I'm too cool to be in this group. And you have to remember that about

yourself when you're too cool for a situation. Go and find people that are on your vibe, not people that are on your like lower than your totally. Yeah. And if I could go back and dry hump people, I would just dry hump. Like I would if I were you, I would just dry hump and make out with them. It would just send a thank you for the night and move on. I love that advice. Dry humping isn't that bad actually. Dry humping is going to probably make a comeback at some point. It should.

It's really fun. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you can actually, a woman can come or climax from dry humping. Yeah. And it lasts a lot longer. Zipper and you're good to go.

Yeah. Or a monkey, a set of monkey bars. I can't believe you put that in your book, by the way, because I think every woman was like, that's okay that we did that. Oh, yeah. You girls, I used to masturbate over my pants. It was called The Feeling when I was growing up. I was so excited.

I had no idea because you would never touch your Pikachu directly. It would be over the jeans. But if the seam of the jeans were the right seam, a fixed seam, you could make yourself come even faster. So I would lie down behind an ottoman. I get home after school and I would just be like, just rubbing myself. But I'd have my vagina covered by the ottoman in case anyone walked into the living room and they would just see me face down on the floor. Meanwhile, I had like rug burns on my chin. I was so into myself.

I could not get enough of myself. All I would do was jerk off all the time. And I didn't know I was masturbating. I mean, I knew it was like a secret, but I was just like, oh, all my girlfriends were doing it. And so I would just be sitting there rubbing my vagina, rubbing my vagina. And then finally we were at dinner one night and I had a ladle and it was a whole family dinner. And I couldn't like I couldn't even take a break for dinner. If OnlyFans were alive, then I would have been on it.

And so I had this spoon in between my legs and I was rubbing myself at the dinner table. And I obviously became red or sweaty or something. And my mom goes, Chelsea, what you're doing needs to be done in the privacy of your own room. And then my brother Roy yells, she does it all the time. And I looked around the table and I was like, oh my God, everyone's known this whole time that I've been fucking jerking off.

Like I thought I was sleuth. You know, like I was like, oh my God. And I was so devastated that I did not masturbate until I was in my 40s because I was so shamed about it. I hate that for you. I hated that my brothers knew that I was jerking off. Very common. It's very common. Of course it is. Of course it is. I mean, yeah, they're jerking off. Yeah. You know the show Young Sheldon? I want to watch the show

Young Sheldon. Oh yeah, I know. I need to make it. I know. We were working on that once. Anyway, did you get your advice that you came here for? I did. I love you so much. Okay. All right, good. Well, when you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever you're into, obviously men right now, but that can always change also be open-minded. And when you're in a new situation and you're feeling really positive about your life, please send us a line and let us know. Yes. Of course. Will do.

Thank you. Thanks, Emily. Thank you. Bye, Emily. Bye. Thanks, ladies. Oh, my God. Didn't even take a break for dinner.

No. What a productive call that was. That was great. Yeah. Isn't it funny that you can just talk to someone and you can feel their energy just by talking to them. Like if it's high or low. I wish that was more like measurable. You know, when people talk about energy, I wish somebody could say, oh, you're at an 80. So that people would take it more seriously.

Because like the high vibes are so important. And there are people that just bring you down. Yeah. You know, and it's not their fault or that they're a bad person. You're just not on the same frequency. Yeah. We should have like a little thing above our head that says like what percent we're at.

Like a halo. Yeah. Yeah. I have one more quick question from Brittany. Brittany Spears. I spelled with an I, so maybe not a little different. Dear Chelsea,

I have a situation I've been wrestling with for about a year. I'm 36 years old and never wanted kids until this last year. I married my husband last year, and we've been together for eight years total. I really love him. We mostly have a great relationship. We have three cats we adore. But the thing is, he does not want to have kids. We always agreed about this until a year ago.

I kept thinking that the desire to have kids would just be a phase and go away, but it keeps getting stronger. I'm really confused and torn on what to do. The thought of leaving makes me sad, and the fear of trying to find a partner and have kids at my age seems scary. I'm freezing my eggs, so that helps take some of the pressure off, but it's still a huge undertaking. I'm worried that later on I'll have some regret about not taking a chance on having a family of my own. I'm also worried that I'll regret leaving a good marriage and potentially fucking up my life with a crappy partner or the challenges of parenthood. How can I make this decision? I'm going to therapy, but I feel stuck. The clock is ticking, which is so stressful.

Thanks for your help, Brittany. So the husband decided he didn't want to have kids. I think neither of them did. And then she just like changed her mind. Oh, okay. Like something hit her and she just, she felt like she was maternal and she needed to have a baby. Oh, wow. She really has to decide what does she want more, him or the baby? Because she actually doesn't, she doesn't need him to make the baby. No.

She could do it alone. She doesn't need to find another partner to have a baby either. If they did fizzle, like if they broke up, like she can have a baby on her own. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not going to make her feel good. She wants to have a husband and that baby. Yeah. So you guys are parents. So you need to handle this. It's happened to a lot of our friends, actually. And they broke up with the partner to have the baby because you're going to end up, if you can't let it go, you're going to hate them. You're going to resent them that they never did it. And you will just find problems. Even if there isn't a problem, you'll create problems. So it's rather be honest and be

like, I've changed my mind. And maybe he doesn't know how she's nervous to say, I really, really want this. This is what he might be like, then I can get on board. You never know if you're really honest with it. Yeah. Like maybe eight years ago when they started together, they totally agreed on that, but he really wasn't as like, he wasn't as determined to not have them as she was. And now she's changed her mind. Who knows? Maybe he has too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Oh God. My husband didn't want a third really. And it was a big conversation. But that's different. That's different. I know, but I was a very big conversation. I think for some people, we have to be like, this is so important to me. I don't know if I can keep being with you if I can't do this.

And then he might be like, I never knew. Let's maybe- Let's talk about it. Think about what we're going to do here. Yeah. It's so much more than do I leave him or do I get a baby? Because she might not even be able to have a baby. You know, like there's so many X factors. It's so hard to say, leave them and go get a new partner and a baby. Maybe there's wiggle room in two years or,

you know, if she's freezing his eggs, does he not know something's coming up or is she doing it in secret? Well, she's freezing her eggs. Yeah. Well, men don't have eggs. FYI. think it's a slow. Well, you should know. Well, men don't have eggs, FYI.

I just thought you messed up on the word. I'm like, I did. You know they don't have eggs, right? I admit her. Her eggs. Her eggs. Yeah. And she might be doing it alone.

It's expensive to do that too. Yeah. In Canada it is. Yeah. I think you have to be like, if you really are thinking about this, A, you have to want to have that baby 150%. You have to be committed to that. And if you are that committed to that baby, and that's more important to you than your husband is right now, then yeah, you've got to leave him and go pursue that. But I mean, you have to really

know that you want to do that, not just be curious about being a mother. I think, you know, sometimes I know how strong a maternal instinct can be. At least I hear about it. But I think you have to examine really how important that is to you. And then that's your decision right there. You know? Yeah. Could you have like a whoopsie? Like, you know, get artificially inseminated and then be like, oh my, no, no. That's bad. Well, yeah. But also, but you're also married. So yeah. I mean, I'm not against that. Like, oh, my God, I don't know how it happened. Trick him into a baby. Okay, well, we did. Okay, well, that's, yeah, that's your advice.

What's her name? Brittany. I actually think that's a good idea. That's just, I like that. I would do that, yeah. If I was a manipulative person, that was something I would think about. Or just, you know. Is that how you wound up with baby number three?

No. No. Locked him in, you know. Is that how you wound up with baby number three? No, no. Locked him in, you know, wrap my legs. You're not leaving. Squeeze. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll come back to wrap up with Kat and Nat and Chelsea. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt.

The other? Courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry.

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Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

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It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations

like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. Well, Katnett, this is the part of the show where I want to know if you'd like any advice from Chelsea. Well, we have an ongoing argument that maybe the two of you and Chelsea could settle for us. We have an argument on whether—

The two of you and Chelsea. Yeah, whatever. You know what I'm saying, okay? I think we just—we've never really agreed. I don't know if we have a misunderstanding and we actually have to show each other what we mean, but I take soap and I wash underneath and all over my vagina. Like I actually take the soap.

She goes in. Not in, like not in the hole. Of course, not the hole. In the oven. In the, like all underneath.

And she says that you shouldn't put, she read that you don't put soap there because it's self-cleaning. Inside. Not in the hole. In the lips. Yes the, like all underneath. And she says that you shouldn't put, she read that you don't put soap there because it's self-cleaning. Inside. Not in the hole. In the lips. Yes. All in there.

In the lips. I don't think you're, I'm pretty rough when I wash my beaver in the shower. That's obviously the first spot I'd like to hit. But I don't put the soap bar, like, I guess I probably do with something similar. I do know that you're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to put soap inside the lips, any of that. Your vagina is a self-cleaning mechanism. It cleans itself. Yes. Are you serious? Yeah. So you can rub soap around it, but like, I don't think it's going to hurt you. I mean, it's supposed to affect your pH balance is what I know. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not,

I don't use a bar of soap. I use pump soap, right? Is that what you use? Yeah. So you're not. Okay. So, I mean, I just don't think it's that big of a deal. I think if you actually put it inside you, then it's a big deal. But mas o menos, as they say in España. If you're not getting any yeast infections, you're probably doing it fine. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Everything's been fine so far. I just like all dark, moist places need to be cleaned. I also have IBS, so that would be different. You know, IBS down there, you do. I've definitely stuck my finger in my butthole to wash it.

Really? Yeah, if there's a situation that needs cleansing, yeah. Inside the hole? Yeah, just to make sure like everything's there that is supposed to be there and nothing extra. Great. Yeah, only when i've had an incident oh my gosh if i even go anywhere near that thing it's just gonna be a disaster really with soap i mean don't you want it to be clean your butthole she can't have any

butt play whatsoever and her her bowels live on the hole. Like, basically. You know, I saw a video the other day about anal sex and it says when men go into other men, there's three sphincter holes. I had learned that there were two sphincter holes. So when you have anal sex, there's one entryway and then there's a second entryway. And if they're really well endowed, there is a third entryway.

But I think that's only applicable for men because they have a scrotum and we do not. But for us there are two anal entries. One and then boom boom depending on how big the penis is. Did you know that? I didn't either. So there's shit. Who comes out of one?

No. There's like as deep as it goes then there's like another. It's like being in like a labyrinth. There's one hole. I betth there's one hole that's the entryway and then if you have a big enough penis there's a second anal opening in the same tunnel i think she has one and that's the problem because i feel like it just drops and we're like we have to run the red like there's no time it's like where she's shitting her pants or like i have a birth defect and my mom never told me. I only have one.

One lab rat. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I mean, you should not travel with a thermos in case you need to take a should do. Okay. Well,

on that note, you guys, I just want to thank you guys for being here all the way from Canada. I can't wait to see you guys again in person. I hope that happens sooner than later. Thank you for being on the podcast. You were very entertaining. Thank you so much for having us. It was so nice to meet you, Catherine. I can't wait to see you guys again. I'm your biggest fan now. Yay. Thank you guys. Really, truly. It means a lot. Have a

great day. Bye. Bye. And for those of you who haven't seen my special on Netflix, it's out. Revolution is out and it's streaming. And I am announcing a new tour called the Little Big Bitch Tour. Yes. I am starting again in April. I announced a bunch of cities, so it's on my Instagram and my website and whatever. But yes, I'm going back on the road in four months. Amazing.

Or two months or whatever. I have a whole new show and a whole new thing and I'm going to go tour again. You're just a busy woman. I am, I am. There's a lot going on. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseepodcast at gmail.com.

Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Steff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf.

I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline. Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead.

The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app,

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