Dear Chelsea - Someone’s Getting Their Period…

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

A perimenopausal woman stans Harry Styles. An ex-employee remains disgruntled. And a recovering codependent is too eager on a second date. The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and

conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, WeezyWTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Well, hello. Hello, Brandon. Hi. What an exciting time to be alive, right? Everything's opening. People are pumped up. Everyone's just got a little bit more optimism. Feels like it's spreading around the air or something. Is in the air, for sure. Summer is underway.

I know. Summer's underway. I'm a new homeowner. I bought a new house that I'm renovating. That's exciting. You know what my friend said to me the other day? She was like, this is so good for you to have a creative outlet that is not related to work. And I was like, oh my God, I never thought about it that way. And that is such a great way for me to look

at renovating a house. And it's going to take nine months, just like a pregnancy. So when it's over, I'm going to have a baby in a house. What are we doing today? Today we're going to be talking about obsession to some degree. People who either can't move on or just a little too into something or someone. A very Lifetime movie-esque. Exactly. Sarah Colonna would love this. And we have an update. We have an update from The Gluttonous, who was in an episode a couple of weeks ago. So I don't know, a lot of people, if you listen out of order, will throw back and hear from people that we've given advice to or get updates from. So it's always good to listen to every episode so you kind of know what we're talking about.

And this submission, she had an issue with overeating, that she would just go through phases where she would kind of binge and then she would get back on track and, you know, feel like she was living a healthier lifestyle. So it's a real pendulum that she just swings one way or the other. But she writes in after hearing us on the episode, she says, Hey, guys, I listened to the episode this morning and heard my submission being read. Oh, my God, have fun. I know it's not fun. I'm a single mother to a son and I have never once considered thinking about him as a tool to stop myself from binging. He doesn't see me do it but has seen my emotional struggle with my weight gain. He tells me I'm not fat and that he loves me no matter what.

After hearing my email being read back, I cried. I got the answer I needed. I signed up for Venice Nutrition and I'm going to start my journey and keep you updated. Isn't that nice? I could climax. I could seriously climax. I mean, oh, this is amazing. And I think it's important to acknowledge here that that episode was not about being thin. It wasn't about losing weight to be prettier or better looking. It was about being healthy. So

however that looks to you, whatever that change might be in your life, just to feel better about yourself, just to feel like you're making healthier decisions. And again, whatever we talk about here, you know, take with a grain of salt because it's just through our lens. Two grains of salt. Right. I would like to make a note that there's another great resource for binge eaters and chronic dieters, and it's a podcast. It's called Half Size Me with Heather Robinson. So she gives you a lot of good tools for sticking with new ways of eating and learning to break the cycle of starving and binging.

So that's a really good podcast to listen to if you are struggling with your weight. Well, I mean, this is a huge victory, so another problem solved. And I think after that, we deserve a break. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together think after that, we deserve a break. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast,

our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all.

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers.

So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Amanda Mull, who writes our Business Week buying power column. Very few companies who go viral are like totally prepared for what that means. And Zoe Tillman, senior legal reporter.

Courts are not supposed to decide elections. Courts are not really supposed to play a big role in choosing our elected leaders. It's for the voters to decide. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Who's our first caller, sweetheart? Well, we have multiple callers today. And the first one, her name is Anya. Is it the singer? Oh, no, that's Enya. She's a 50 some odd year old female from Florida. And she writes in, Dear Chelsea, I'm currently in premenopause and I'm starting to seriously. This is taking a turn. We haven't talked about periods in a long time. So this is almost like the universe manifesting

periods. We also talked about you recently, how I would love for you to go through menopause. And how I would love for you to get a period. Hi. Any moment now. Hi, how are you? Is it Anya? Yes. Anya, I haven't read your submission. So why don't you just give us an overview of what's going on?

So back in November, I started hearing about Harry Styles a little bit more. That was at the same time pre-menopause was creeping in. Hot flashes, mood swings, everything. And I started to obsess with him. So since I'm usually not a stand person, more a modest, quiet admirer, I was wondering if this has to do with the pandemic, premenopause and lack of travel, or do I need some serious help? With your obsession over Harry Styles? Yes. I think an obsession with Harry Styles is pretty typical for people these days. I think it probably just has to do, yeah, your hormones are just probably right in line, it sounds like, with the teenage girls' hormones because they're also in love with Harry Styles. And so are older women. Harry has a way with older women. His girlfriend, Olivia Wilde, is older,

and he definitely likes and appreciates older women. So, I mean, I think your fantasy is it could be because of menopause, but I would think that menopause is when you start to lose your sexual feelings towards people. You wouldn't gain an obsession. So maybe you're not really even in menopause yet. That could be. Well, that's why I said like kind of like pre-menopause. Like perimenopause. But I think perimenopause can last for many, many years. But I mean, I think it's good to have an obsession. It gives you something to like masturbate to if you're into that. It gives you something.

Harry's really cute to look at, obviously. I mean, he's like adorable. Are you attracted to Harry Styles? Oh, very much so. Yeah. We should have Harry call into the show. That would be really funny. I have been just dying to see him walk in or out of the building. Yeah, he's funny. He's very funny. Harry Styles. I'm going to actually take a picture

of you and send it to him and say, you don't want me to. OK, well, he'd be delighted to hear that he has another fan in you on. If that's even your real name. That is my real name. All right. Well, that's great. Look at that. Crush received, reciprocated. So just pretend you're dating him and start telling people. Well, don't do that, obviously. But, you know, just enjoy it, Anya.

Just enjoy your new relationship. I'm trying. My son is not happy about it. Oh, I didn't realize there was a son involved. I'm sure he's probably like, I don't need my mother to be into Harry Styles. Exactly. Yeah. But fuck your son. He's,

you know what? This is your private life. Perfect. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay. Bye. Bye.

Thank you. This is a term that I don't understand all this fucking lingo, but I think Stan is like a super fan. Oh yeah. I didn't know what that meant either. God, sometimes I feel so stupid. I'm like, what? I know. I feel so fan. Oh, yeah. I didn't know what that meant either. God, sometimes I feel so stupid. I'm like, what?

I know. I feel so old. Well, yeah. Yeah, right. Exactly. But I also don't like anything trendy. Like you hated when everyone said 100%. Or when people say obvi.

I was like, or anyways, anyways. Everyone's saying anyways. Anyways. It's like, no, it's anyway. There's no S at the end of anyway. And like, I know I'm such a stickler. Like, it actually makes me, it irritates the shit out of me when people say that word. Because as soon as they say it, I lose respect for them. I have such respect for you correcting grammatical issues. Yeah, you appreciate, but most people don't want to be corrected.

I don't want to sound fucking stupid. No, but other people don't mind sounding stupid. People don't care. You know, like I'm such a stickler for grammar because I didn't go to college, obviously. So I'm overcompensating. But I take it very seriously. Just like last night at dinner, I said to my girlfriends, I use the word platitudinizing. And they're like, not a word. I said, you want to make a bet? And so I just had you look it up on the way in and then sent them all the link to the definition of platitudinizing. And you're almost never wrong. And I said, guess who went to community college for one semester? Me. Do you have a celebrity crush?

Who has been your biggest one before you became famous? Was there someone that you really loved? Bon Jovi? Bruce Springsteen? I mean, I liked them. I didn't love them. I never wanted to sit on Bon Jovi's face or anything like that. Like Simon LeBron from Duran Duran was like big.

That was a big deal for me. That was like my first major man crush. I loved him. And my sister liked Nick Rhodes. Then I had a crush on a famous baseball player. And then I think, yeah, that that was it i always liked older men even when i was like a child i liked older guys would you date an athlete now um yeah i could see with a baseball player yeah sure i'd date anyone you know how open-minded i am well i just like

i like to keep that out in the open for everyone listening yeah that you are looking yeah and you're ready to receive uh receive penetration what is your feeling on people abbreviating things like california nothing it cali oh it makes my stomach it makes my stomach turn that annoys me nor cal so oh like i like hashtags i find annoying any sort anything that you abbreviate i don't abbreviate even in text messages like what is everyone says dead now dead dead i'm dead or period in the sense of like yeah like a conversation but then the conversation's never over no i wish it were i know i know so many times people are taking so long for like what could be just a quick transaction you know

they take it so it's so slowly and and you'd end up talking to someone for way longer than you need to what about these fucking people who want to get on a call when it could be an email there is nothing worth or a zoom now like let's let's do a zoom no send me an email it will take two seconds right and you'll get an immediate response i also on that subject matter don't really like to facetime anyone and i know people really like, but you have to sit there and hold the phone like without your AirPods in. Like when you're on the phone with somebody, you can get a million things done. Like if you have your AirPods and still pay attention or stop paying attention, you know, and get a million things done. But FaceTime is really hard. It's annoying for me

to like, you know, it has its time. It comes in handy. Yeah, right. But brief interludes, like when you were in Canada and I would FaceTime you. Show me how to turn the oven on. Yeah, and I would FaceTime your two daughters up there that you've left behind. Yeah, fatherhood was good. That was good as a father. I am their father still, so that's why they call me dad. Again, just so happy you don't have kids. If you had kids, I don't think I could do this job.

Those girls really, no, you couldn't. And if you couldn't do this job, well, I guess we would have never met Brandon. I don't even want to think about such things. That's just like a bad nightmare. All right. The next submission comes on and right onto the next submission. It comes from Steve, who is from Chicago. He writes, Dear Chelsea, I had a rough job loss a few years ago and I'm having a hard time getting over it. I can't let go of the anger. What do you suggest? Move the fuck on, buddy. Well, tell him that because Steve's on the phone. Okay, great. Sweetheart, look, should I open my boobies?

Yeah, well, he mentioned skiing naked with you. Great, I'll have to close that. I don't know if you should do anything to egg him on. Steve, where are you? I'm here. Steve, hi. We can't see you. Turn your camera on. What the hell? All right, Steve, where are you? I'm here. Steve, hi. We can't see you. Turn your camera on.

What the hell? All right, Steve, listen. Don't worry about it. I don't need to see you. I can hear you. It sounds like you're stuck in a victim mentality. Sort of, yeah. I had a bad job loss about four and a half years ago, and some things were used against me that were sort of spun in a certain way that made me look bad. And I never had a chance to defend myself or even explain what had happened. And even though I had the full support of management, it was a job I had pursued for about three years, finally got it, super happy, thought I'd work there for about seven, eight years and retire. And then six months into it, that was that.

Well, what happened? Essentially boiled down to a woman in the office. I sort of hesitate to say this, but thought I was creepy. Okay. And like I say, I had full support, but it got up to the CEO and said, we can't tolerate this stuff. And my opinion was, what are you can't tolerate what, right? And I never got to defend myself. My boss, his boss and his boss said wrong, but then that was that. Was it against one woman or multiple women? Well, I don't really know exactly, but I was able to get some details sort of after the fact. And so it might've been, I know there was one specific person that was pushing this. And

I also heard from somebody else that their idea was to replace me with someone else in the office who was much younger than I was. Well, that can't feel good to be called creepy. No, it was horrible. And but what are you going to do? Right? Yeah. So you need to move the fuck on because like that is old. That's history. There's nothing you can do about it. And the only thing you can do is let go. You have to let go of your anger. That is the past. It is behind you. And you just have to focus on having more positive vibes moving forward so that you can secure another job. Do you have a new job? No. So I've been in the digital space for a long, long time. It's an extremely young industry. This company was in the movie business. I've been in sales. It was a sales role.

And at my age, I tried really hard to find work after this happened and things weren't falling my way. And so I do printed shirts and apparel for organizations, businesses, etc. I've been doing that for quite some time. It's a decent little source of income. But I just started Ubering four and a half years ago and I've been pretty much doing that ever since. Well, that's good. That's something. You're bringing in some income with that, right? Yeah.

It sometimes requires a lot of hours. I was out till 3 o'clock on Friday and 2 a.m. on Saturday. But you can make pretty good money if you push it. Well, Steve, I think you need to give yourself room to grow. And you're holding on to this thing that happened four years ago. It's not serving you. So it's taking up space. Anything taking up space is not going to allow you to like, you know, really invest time or energy into moving forward. And whether that be emotionally, mentally, or with finding a

job. So the longer you hold on to this, it's just going to hold you back and hold you down. So I think you just got to fucking throw that out and focus on what you can do moving forward. Yeah. And take pride in your job. Like, be happy that you have a job. Some people are starving, you know. Yeah, you're working at Uber. You have the ability to work harder to make extra money. These are all good things, too. You know, you don't have to hold on to somebody, what somebody said or may have said or may have not said. Somebody may have not even said that about you. You know, that could have been an excuse to replace you with somebody younger. It's just it's irrelevant, really, to your future. Right. And that all makes a lot of sense. And,

you know, I get it. And it's not something that I hang on to all the time. But it sort of flares up, you know, like a like a like a virus that's inside, you know, and things will trigger it. So I hear what you're saying. And I know I need to do it. Yeah. But you need some tough love. You need a nudge in the right direction. Like that's just coming from a loving place. You can't just immediately fast forward and have it not be there, but you can have it come up without it bringing you down. You know, like you can have it come up so that it diminishes each time it does come up so that in a year from now, it's not an issue at all.

Right. Okay. Do you smoke pot? Here and there. Yeah, well, maybe smoke some more. Enjoy yourself, you know? Right. Just enjoy yourself. Have a nice time. Okay. Do you smoke pot? Here and there. Yeah, well, maybe smoke some more. Enjoy yourself, you know? Right. Just enjoy yourself.

Have a nice time. Okay. Yeah. Try and find a girlfriend. Well, I've got a wife. Oh, well, then definitely don't try to find a girlfriend. I don't want to be giving out advice like that. That's the wrong advice.

That's how we get into trouble around here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Around here in our doctor's office. Okay, well, good luck to you, Steve. And I'm glad you called. Yeah. Sorry about the video. I wish I could have, uh, yeah, that's okay. Maybe his pants were off and he didn't want us to see that he was exposing himself. Well, we know that all men do these zooms. Men are just such a disappointment with the way that they pull their penises out.

I would also like to state though about Steve's specific situation is that men have to err on the side of caution now in their interactions. I understand. I'm not telling him to go assault a woman. No, I'm not. I don't think you are. But like anyone listening, that is the way men have to operate. Oh, yeah. Right. That like they have to assume that you've already been fucked up. Yeah. That you've already sexually assaulted someone. Come from that place of apology and reform. Because, I mean, all men aren't bad, but there's enough bad ones that you fucked over everybody. So now all men have to pay the price. White men have to pay the price for your advantage taking since the beginning of time.

And you can only just say, yes, I'm sorry. Please tell me more. And I'm willing to listen because we have been mansplained to for too long. So you need to listen to what we're telling you. We want you to succeed. We want you to stick around. But you need to listen. The thing is, it's like, OK, so that guy could have been a creep also and he could have been in the wrong. And, you know, maybe we should have delved into that a little bit further. But even then, I want people to like pick up and move on to a different point. Right. Right. Like

because we all make mistakes and we have to learn from those mistakes. Opportunity to grow. People calling you creepy is like you would have to think about that. Right. But yes. Yeah. We need additional context for some of these. We couldn't offer well-rounded advice. Well, he still needed to move on. Well, we're still growing as a counseling couple, so we're growing.

We're having growing pains. That was a growing pain. That smell of that beef jerky that you're eating is a definite growing pain. It's so fucking gross. It's a turkey jerky. It's so gross.

I hate having to eat on a fucking schedule. I love eating, and I can't stop eating and now we know it's because... Do you like truffle? Like the taste of truffle? Yes. I love it. This weekend I think I'm going to make mac and cheese and there's this truffle... I don't want anything

to do with macaroni and cheese. You love mac and cheese. I know, I know, but I can't right now. I'm at my steep end of things. So no macaroni and cheese for me. I fucking love... One day in whistler when i wasn't skiing because my knee was swollen and hurting i made myself annie's macaroni and cheese oh the organic yeah and it was just like a vat of cheese and i just ate the entire thing and it felt

so cozy and warm and it was one of those days where I was just like, you know, sitting by the fire. Oh, I just love fucking macaroni and cheese. What is that? Is that your meditation reminder? Or medication reminder? It's letting me know that your period is on the approach. No, it is not. It should have a much louder notification.

That's the blaring horn. It's like, get ready. Get ready, there's a cunt coming down the street. Do we have another caller? I don't know. I wasn't listening. Oh. I'm just kidding.

Our next submission is from William. He's in his 30s. He is a teacher from California. And he writes, Dear Chelsea, I recently had two amazing dates with the same woman and we really vibed. We had conversations about another date we made out, couldn't keep our hands off of each other. She asked if I was looking for a friend with benefits. I said I'd be open to basically anything. And so we decided to just like any man, we're fucking open to anything. Right. But we decided to keep it loose. We really connected. We both love hockey. We have the same taste in beer. We have the same degree. How many dates was this? Two?

Two dates. But this is where things take a turn. He said it's been three days with no contact. Okay. Is he there? Will, are you there? Yeah, I got it working finally. Thank you.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Cute beard. I like your face. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it's all that's in the picture right now. But yeah.

Yeah. No, I like me. The recipe's pretty good too. Okay. Well, that's all that's in the picture right now. But yeah, I like me. The rest of me is pretty good, too. Okay, well, let's not get carried away. So let's, so what happened on the first date? And what happened on the second date? Break it down for us. Okay, like on the first date, we met on Bumble, you know, and so Is that a good dating site? Because I need my friend Kelly from Whistler to get on Bumble. Well, like, it's good, because women get to make the first move.

And so it so it avoids a lot of awkward situations that women have to deal with like i have a lot of female friends they tell me like the horror stories of you know tinder and everything else but at least there you got ladies get a little bit more of a filtering option for themselves you know yeah and it takes the pressure off the guys to make the first move. So it helps out a lot in that kind of way. Okay. Bumble's great. You met her, she made the first move then, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we got to talking right away, you know, like, I mean, we were really like into each other and we went out, we're both vaccinated. So we were like feeling

pretty comfy. You know, I was like, it was my first time going out to eat like in a year conversation was rolling the entire time. We had a lot of similarities going on. We kissed. It seemed like we were pretty into each other. What do you mean just kiss? Like kiss on the street? Where were you? In the car?

I was walking her back to her car and just kind of kissed on the way back. Oh, that's cute. That's nice and romantic. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like that's what I was saying. I thought everything was pretty good there, you know? And then the second date, what happened?

Well, wait. So then how'd you get in touch with her for the second? So you knew leaving the first date you were seeing each other again? Yeah, we were already planning the second date. Were you thinking, though, that maybe you would get more than just a kiss on the first date? Like, were you thinking, oh, or you didn't even try to push it? I don't know. I try not to hold any expectations when I go on dates.

I was cool with whatever happened, you know? I'm a recovering codependent. So I'm trying my hardest to slow myself down. I was even trying in the moment. I was like, okay, make sure you don't get attached too quickly or anything like that. You're a recovering codependent from what you were codependent with your last partner? I was married for seven years and that was like totally what destroyed our marriage. We were both just totally codependent. It just devolves into this toxicity. Talk more about that. Like, what do you mean? Can you give us a specific example? Because I think a lot of people probably feel that way in their relationships.

Yeah, well, you know, for me, my codependency was about affirmation. I needed constant affirmation that someone loves me. Yeah, that's annoying. Yeah, exactly. Right. Then her codependency issue was mistrust. She just thought I was cheating on her all the time. Sounds like you both had the same problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we did. Exactly. When we both decided to get help, we just kind of grew apart after that. There was just too much toxicity in that past. Well, good. That's good that you moved on. That's good that you're done with that relationship. So we don't want you to repeat the same thing the second time. We want you to have success. So, okay. So the second date, what happened on the second date? I had reservations for a really nice restaurant in town, but it was

outdoors and it started raining. So they had to cancel everything. and i had to reorganize like the entire date like i like within like an hour so like i took it down to like super low-key took her to my favorite pizza place and um after that we went to the drive-in we watched wonder woman 1984 how was it oh i liked it a lot but i like marvel movies more than DC, but that was a good movie. Do you know what that means? No, he might as well be speaking Japanese, but I know DC and Marvel arrivals. I do know that. Well, I was going to do that Marvel television show at one point, so I did know. But okay, fine. We won't hold that against you. You're a white male. Of course you love that shit.

So, okay. And then, so you go to the drive-thru. So how did the date end the second night? It ended pretty well. We kissed a few times. We were talking about a third date. And then the next day she was hanging out with some of her friends and she was like shooting me like photos of her brunching and stuff. And I was hanging out with some of my friends and I was shooting her photos of us jamming because me and my friends are all musicians and stuff. Oh, by the way, I know I'm light-skinned, but I'm actually Chicano. Oh, all right. Thank you for clarifying.

Well, it's just that me and her, like, that's one of our very similar things that we have is that both of our ancestors come from the original settlers of Riverside. But we're not related. You know, like, that was like a running joke for a couple of weeks there. It was just like, okay, well, let's make sure we're not cousins. OK, so then you're not related. Check that box. That's great to hear. OK, so everything seemed to be going fine the next day following the second date.

And then she just kind of ghosted you like there was no more communication. And in your submission, you mentioned possibly writing her a text to kind of recap like, hey, sorry if I did something. Sorry if you think you're feeling a certain way. What happened there and what's the status? Well, she told me that she had some stuff going on, but she also confirmed that she was feeling like things were moving too fast. Oh, she did say that. Yeah. Yeah.

How did you react to that when she said that? I mean, like, I'm kind of self-aware of, you know, that part of me. I was just kind of like, that's cool. If I kind of turned you off, that's all right, you know? And she was like, you know, I still want to be friends because, you know, we have so much in common. And I was all like, yeah, me too. I wasn't texting her a lot or anything like that. I would just hit her up every once in a while.

And then one day on her Instagram, I noticed that she blocked me. And like, I was like, oh, okay, I guess I did something. So I sent her another last text and I was just like, hey, I'm sorry if I offended you in some way or anything like that. I'm terribly sorry. And I was just kind of like, oh, I don't know what I did. Okay, so I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on this scenario. But what, in retrospect, like being self-aware, are there certain things that you said or did that gave her the impression that you wanted more than she wanted or that you wanted things to escalate a little bit more quickly than maybe she had anticipated? Like, are there certain moments that you see like, okay, I could have done this differently or that you'll take into the next interaction that you will hopefully amend in some way? That's kind of like what I wanted to ask you all. What can I do to slow things down? How can I stop this premature excitement? Were you trolling her on Instagram a lot, like looking at her

stories? If she's not a public person, she can probably look and see who's watching her stories. It sounds like something happened after they went on the date that turned her off, that she felt like you were all over her or something and liking all of her photos or, you know, sometimes girls feel smothered like that. But like, yeah, you should totally take that as an indicator to chill a little bit out, because clearly you kind of for her to block you on Instagram. I guess I know people do that a lot, right? I mean, I have a friend that blocks people like all the time. Yeah, but I think that there were probably things leading up to that, signs that maybe weren't accounted for. And like, you're a cute guy. Yeah, and you're saying it yourself.

So that means it's true. Yeah, like you obviously have something to offer. You know, you seem kind. You're handsome. You know that there is a problem that you're trying to resolve, but there are also things that maybe you should be a little bit more thoughtful about in terms of your interactions. Like, if you know that this is an issue, implement certain rules for yourself. Like, I used to have a two-text rule where I would send to an initial one. If I didn't get a response, I'd send one more generically.

And then if no response, that was it. Like, it shouldn't take much more than that. no one should have to get to the point of blocking you I have a three text rule that's one text too many yeah I think you should subtract two texts maybe just bring it down to one and then slowly build back up to two that's sound advice yeah I like that idea a lot yeah I wasn't trolling her on Instagram, though, by the way. That's kind of like why I was so shocked because I was like, I sent you a direct message once. Right, right, fine. But anyone blocking you on Instagram, that should be the end of the interaction completely anyway. Like, don't follow up on that.

It's like breaking up with somebody and then having to tell them again. So, yeah, next time the person blocks you on Instagram, hopefully there won't be a next time. Hopefully we can nip this in the bud. But if that's my first time ever. Yeah. Okay. You also have to like give relationships or interactions room to grow. And I think sometimes what happens is people get so like you get so excited about it. They're just like they invest all in. I do that with friends. And I've seen the negative. Brandon has no friends because zero friends. For me, it's not the game of like, oh, what sort of friendship dynamic are we going to have? It's like we're friends or not. And that's kind of that. But in a relationship, it's a little bit trickier because you have to temper those interactions. You have to give them space. So if you get to the point where you want to text this girl or not this specific girl, because that's a rap on her rap on her. But the next one, text someone else. Like when you go to reach for your phone to check on her or text her

and she's not messaged to check on you, message a friend. Like just apply that energy into another relationship. And there's no point in like watering a dead flower. So if you can see that it's not blossoming, invest that energy into yourself or someone else. Don't spend too much time trying to make it happen. Yeah, go play music.

Go write music or what do you do? You know, play an instrument. That's cool. You know, put your channel, your stuff into that. Someone's going to love you soon. Yeah, you seem lovable. Yeah, you do seem lovable. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I was in this, but especially from Chelsea. Thank you very much. What about Brandon? Yeah. Hey, there's no higher compliment than a gay guy complimenting you. Yeah, seriously. Oh, that's very true. That's very true. I just don't know you,

but I know Chelsea. Well, listen, she has better taste than I do. So it's probably of higher value for sure, even without it being her. She just has better taste. I have no style. So I guess my compliments void. I didn't mean it in a mean way. Sorry. That's okay. We're just giving you shit. No, no, your compliment is totally valid. And I appreciate it. Yeah. And also when you do have a lot in common with the person, that's nice, but don't take it too far with that. It's nice that you both have the same heritage and it's nice that you both like the same beer, but like those aren't like cosmic signs from the universe. It's just coincidences. So just like don't take all of it so seriously. I like that. You know, I like that a lot. Thank you.

Okay. There's hope. William, let us know what's going on. I would like an update on your next few dates on what's going on. So keep us posted and just just remember, take things slow. Like nothing's that serious. Yeah, take things slow. And if I'm in that area and you still haven't met a girlfriend, maybe I can come over and have sex with you. I would so appreciate that. Yeah. Well, I was like, or maybe even go on a date, you know? Well, I don't think I need the date part. I mean, especially it sounds like you, you like to, you know, I would be more of a sister transaction. Her attention span, I'll save you the trouble, William. Her attention span is very small. So just stick with the sex and then it's a,'s a win all right okay yeah no i'm taking that

win all right bye bye he was cute he was cute cute in a santa claus cute chicano kind of way like i love that i love when men have like full faces and beards and are playful you know so many women are like really hard up for a man yeah so many women really want to be with somebody they really want to be with a responsible person or you know somebody's got a job and has got their shit together and you know i don't know how much he's got his shit together because we didn't get into that but like i like to think that there's a lid for every pot there is and that's why i keep telling you we're gonna find your lid like you're ready for a relationship and i'm ready for you to be in a relationship i was ready for a relationship and I've already changed my mind. So I think I think I'm ready

and I never will be ready for a relationship. It all just seems like too much work. And I don't, I really, I only because I'm very bored at this point in my life when I'm in LA, for some reason I find myself bored. As soon as you got back, you asked how to log into Tinder. Oh, Raya, that's right. No, I went on Raya and there were some hot guys on Raya, but I did something wrong with my location. So like I had changed my location to Vancouver when I was in Whistler and then I never changed it back. So I was missing all these connections. And then there was one cute guy and I was like, are you, he had a bunch of pictures of snowboarding and I was like, are you skiing or snowboarding? And he said, snowboarding. And that was the end of that relationship. Grown men on a snowboard. Yeah. Really gross me out.

I need a guy who can ski. It's like Peter Pan syndrome or arrested development. Like get on a set of skis, like an adult. And it's so much hotter. Like men skiing is so much hotter than a guy on a snowboard. Yeah, yeah, snowboarding feels like younger. Like you're clinging to something. Do you, when you have an interaction with a guy on a dating app and you're suddenly not into it for one reason or another, do you tell them or will you just stop responding? Usually I just stop responding. I mean, I don't owe them anything at that point, but I do like to tell people when they do things that annoy me. Like that guy, I was seeing some guys, sleeping with some guy right before I left when I went to Whistler this year in like December.

And I got there and he, and we was cute. We hung out a bunch of times before I left. Yeah, he was a nice guy. Yeah, you met him. And then he sent me in Whistler, like he made this big thing that he was sending me a gift, that he was sending me a gift. He said it like three times and then asked me if I found it at my door three times, which was also annoying. And then I found the gift and it was a black dildo. And I just thought what why are you sending me a vibrator like that's not funny like he thought it was funny he's like

oh you're gonna love it it's like no I'm not right because you're not like 12 years old yeah I'm not 12 like and don't send me ask me about a gift like a serious like I thought it was something sweet or sincere like like something useful. Exactly. Did you ever use those heated gloves I got you? Which heated gloves? The heated mitts. Yeah, I use them all the time.

Oh, you did? That's what I ski with. Oh, I wondered how they work. Oh, yeah. So that's a fucking thoughtful gift. Yeah, that's a thoughtful gift. I actually got a pair for Ange for her birthday this year. Oh, great.

And then I got a pair for Kelly, too, because she didn't have heated gloves. It's so nice to have your hands warm. So you always default to a heated mitt instead of a dildo, guys. Oh, yeah. It's just such a tacky gift. It's just a dildo is just such a gross. And by the way, I've been sent so many dildos. I mean, I got three on my birthday in Whistler.

I got three dildos. So he's not alone in his idiotic thinking. And then my friend was like, oh, I love this vibrator. And I was like, oh, my God. There's nothing more annoying than sitting around talking about vibrators to talking about you got a fucking vibrator from your facialist okay so that's the next vibrator i was gonna say that i got yeah so vanessa who installed my neck with my own blood everyone gave me a vibrator and i just love like it's all like we're just yes like we're all just trading like here why don't you i I just don't use vibrators.

I just don't. Maybe I should start. But you don't masturbate, right? I think you've said that before that you're like people of a certain nature. It's like, oh, well, if you don't have someone. I mean, no, I'm not really big on masturbating. I mean, I you would think actually that I have the time to do it. So sometimes, but not really.

No. I don't know how you could. You always have people at the house. You were either asleep or you have people at the house. So I don't know how you could. You always have people at the house. You were either asleep or you have people at the house. So I don't know when you would have time to fucking masturbate.

I can't have my bell walking in on me jerking off in the middle of the afternoon. You could have my bell masturbate for you. Oh, God, Brandon. Come on. Talk about white privilege.

Stop it. I think it's time for me to charge my Tesla. We're going to go to a break. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like

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Courts are not really supposed to play a big role in choosing our elected leaders. It's for the voters to decide. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Oh, sweetheart. Well, I feel like we gave some sound advice today. It sounds like we're going to wrap things up by the tone of your voice. I think we should. I mean, I don't know how we could top William.

And he doesn't sound like he wants me to, so. No, he doesn't want anything to do with you. But he definitely would have sex with me. It'd be funny if I had sex with every hundredth caller. Did he remind you of anyone that we know? It's a hearty body type. Yeah. We don't even know what was going down from the neck down because we only saw him from the neck up. So I could only imagine that his stomach matches his face. Yeah. He just seems like a thick, like a hardy man. Yeah. I like

that kind of look. I mean, I don't really, it's a kind of like a lumberjack look. Yeah. It's not really my thing, but I'm open to it. You don't like too muscly. I like guys that are like really fit, but not muscly, but like fit. So I can handle a little stomach, like a little bit of meat. But I don't like when guys are like, you know, have a big belly. Like I'm not into that. I don't like things flapping. No, you don't like excess persons. Right, right.

But I do like them as friends. Well, now we know. I just want to wish everybody a happy St. Patrick's Day, even though it's nowhere near March. You have no idea when any holidays are because you don't celebrate anything. I know that St. Paddy's Day is March 17th, and that is not close. Let's just plan on our summer vacation, Brandon. Why don't you start figuring out where I'm going to go this summer? I know where you're going.

I know where I'm going, too. Do you know where I'm going? Where? Okay, so we have everyone. Also, keep an eye out for Chelsea's stand-up dates because they're being added now that people are being vaccinated and things are opening up. So she has dates in July in Nashville, which I know off the top of my head. Those are all sold out. Yeah.

So if you're looking for something to do for your summer vacation, you guys, I'm performing all over the place. I'm performing at Humphreys in San Diego. I'm performing at the Santa Barbara Bowl. I'm performing in Vegas on July 10th at the Mirage. Santa Barbara Bowl, I think, is August 21st. And then I'm doing a whole slew of dates all over across the country. And new dates will be added. So if you don't see her in the city.

Yeah, and we're adding new dates, right. We just added two new shows. Oh, and to my Canadianadian and brothers and sisters well my that's really where i'm from now to all my canadians i will be touring in canada i just have not announced those dates yet so don't you worry i will never forget you are you kidding me are you fucking kidding me you know what canadians don't even say fucking they're too polite my point of that is we're going to nashville for your stand-up dates at Zany's, which are all sold out. But then I'm going to stay for a few extra days and I'm going to fucking Dollywood.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wish you could stay, but you're going on your family vacation at the same time. You are going to climax all day long at Dolly. I cannot fucking wait. So Dollywood's like an, is it like an amusement park? It's an amusement park. She owns it. And I guess she's there sporadically. I don't know if there's a Dolly calendar for me to check to see, but I'm going to have to get Irving on the horn somebody to figure out when she's going to be there. Oh yeah. I'm sure they can help you

out with that. Did you watch the Dolly documentary? I started it. I haven't finished it yet, but I just love Dolly. Yeah, I know that adds up. You like Dolly too. Yeah. You had a Dolly shirt that you wore a lot till it was fraying. You loved that. You wore it to so many standup shows. Finally, someone said something. There's like, what is going on with this Dolly shirt? It was just more of a cute shirt though, but I do love Dolly. I love Dolly and I love, there's another good documentary on HBO Max, Tina Turner, and that's fucking awesome. I haven't watched it, but I hear you have a different appreciation for her. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The way she can move her body, the way she moves like when she was young, starting out. Well, I mean, she still can move her body. But she was like so much older when she made it. She was like almost, you know, 50 when she really hit it without Ike when she left him. So, oh, God, yeah.

She was such an amazing performer. Well, that's a great ending note. It's never too late. It doesn't matter how fucking old you are, guys. Get out there and do what you want to do. Yeah, go after menopause like it owns you. I mean, like you own it. You're going to own it.

Goodbye. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door

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Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations.

From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.