Dear Chelsea - Swimming Naked with Elizabeth Olsen

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

Elizabeth Olsen joins Chelsea to chat about why she swims naked every morning, her thoughts on reincarnation, and why she’s the perfect woman for a man with a fish pic in his bio.  Then: A guncle wants to help his niece steer clear of becoming a Mean Girl.  A single mom struggles to connect on the apps.  And a young lawyer can’t get her man to commit - so she’s stuck paying double rent.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Okay dokey. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Well, I am fresh. You know what I've done since. we last spoke, I went to Antarctica, then I went to Vegas, and now I'm in New York. I am

a globetrotter. You're all over the place. I mean, like more so than normal. I'm all over the shop. How was Antarctica? It was redonculus. It was absolute mayhem. I have never been on a trip that was so ridiculous. It was like a conference on psychedelics, so half the people were, like, researching psychedelics and the other half of the people were doing psychedelics. Let me guess which category you fell into. Yeah, well, I was somewhere in the middle. I had a blast.

I met so many fun people. I had an incredible time. Antarctica was majestic and gorgeous, and I just was blown away. It really was one of the best trips of my life. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Now, did you see penguins, actually? Yeah, we were close up to the penguins. We went kayaking next to whale, humpback whales.

They breached in front of us. There was a polar prunge, but I was a little bit sick that day because I had a tricky night the night before. We crossed Drake's Passage. Oh, how was it? Was it awful? Going through Drake's Passage? Crossing Drake's Passage was crazy. I brought my friend Christine.

I made some really cute friends. I had a blast. Amazing. We had every element of an incredible, it was like adult camp. We would just run from one floor to the next floor and then go knock on each other's cabins. There was a lot of, a lot of shenanigans. Like a very cold summer camp. Yeah, I loved it.

Excellent. Oh, and also I'll be on the Today Show. I'm co-hosting the Today Show tomorrow with Jenna Bush. So anybody can watch us. Yeah, I co-hosts with her for an hour tomorrow. Well, we have a really exciting week this week because we actually have two episodes coming out. Today and tomorrow will have new episodes coming out. So our guest today, if you want to tell everybody about that, is very exciting. Well, we have two from the same movie. Elizabeth Olson is

today and tomorrow is Devine Joy Randolph. We're releasing two episodes this week to promote their movie, which is called Isarnity. Okay, we're sitting here with Elizabeth Olson. I'm so excited to talk to you. I watched Love and Death. I don't know. know how many times. I thought your performance, you and Lily Rape together, that was Lily Rape, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your performance in that, because they did that show before with some other cast. They did, yeah. I think Jessica Beale, right? Your performance in that was earth-shattering. You were so fucking good. I couldn't, I couldn't stop watching your performance. Oh, God. And I'm not some big ardent acting fan or something. I don't even, like, I just thought

you were so every nuance and the subtleties of, like, the way that you, I was like, I was like, I just, couldn't wait to see you in more stuff. Oh, that's so nice of you. Whenever I see your name and something, I know it's going to be good. That is so nice of you. I loved getting to do that so much. I had the time of my life playing that part. So it's really nice when other people, I think you can tell if someone's having fun with something, maybe. But she was just a great character, and I felt like I could do no wrong in her shoes. And I just love humor and drama. Like, I just think there always needs to be humor no matter how dramatic something is. And I had so much fun with her. So it's really easy to say. Because that's based on a true story, a woman who murdered

her husband. For those of you haven't seen love and death, you need to see it. On HBO Max. It's on HBO Max. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I forgot about that part. I'm here. I'm here for that. But it's based on a true story, but it is the unraveling. It is just the unraveling of a woman. And I mean, how do you even, like, what did you, are you a serious? I mean, you're a serious actress, obviously. Yeah, I take my job. I'm serious. Seriously. You remember, you memorized your lines and to work? Yes. Yeah, I do a lot of preparation. But would you consider yourself a serious actress? Do you like, are you very serious when you are working? Yeah, I'm very serious, but I'm very playful.

I feel like every year I've doubled down how much I love doing my job. And I come from so many different types of training that I went to and so many different types of conservatories. And the fun part to me is the preparation and the discoveries that you have during that time. But I don't take myself seriously. But I do take everyone else showing up to work, I have to show up also prepared, and that's a form of respect to everyone else who's showing up to work, in my opinion. And so I like setting a standard of, you know, hopefully people aren't like learning their lines on the day. But you get to set a standard sometimes in that way without like verbalizing it. And I think that's just a form of respect for like everyone who shows up to work. Yeah.

I think that's nice. Yeah. So I guess I take myself seriously a little bit, but I also don't take the job of being like an actor very serious, right? Like the other elements that come with it. Like what? Like speaking as myself. Like I don't want to be a spokesperson for anyone or anything.

No, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do it well. I get nervous doing podcasts because they're long. Yeah. And I get anxious that I'm going to say something that. well then I think is like great in the moment and then afterwards you're like why does everyone care that I think people should go to the movie theaters or not even like they should be that like I would just want agreed I don't know I read that I read that quote why was that what was the issue with

I don't know it's just how I conduct my own business is how is like that I want to be in movies that are in theaters that are in theaters I'm not telling anyone they have to go to the theater or that you should be you're an actor I think who had a problem with that in the first place You said, go and go, the people should go to the theater? I didn't even say that. I said, I only want to do movies that are in theaters. That are not just for streaming. Yeah, but, like, streamers are very important part of it.

You know, like, streamers are great, but. They then release it in another way. Like, that's an important part of it because we don't have video. I mean, I go to video stories, but, like, most people don't. So I'm not, I don't know. It's just, I always feel like I'm going to say something that I just, I'm not even aware is going to offend people. But also, who gives a shit. I know.

I wish I were, like, but I feel like that's how you've lived your career. But I think that just goes to show you how silly it is. You know what I mean? You didn't say anything wrong. There's nothing wrong with saying you wanted to be in movies that are in theaters. What's wrong with that? That's what an actor wants. But that's good practice to remind yourself that when there is backlash, it's usually

it's so nothing. It means nothing. Yeah. You know, so you should be less worried about what you're not saying anything wrong in the first place. Like, you know, I get it. I mean, you're a private person. You're pretty private, right?

You don't have like a big public profile in terms of your personal life at all. No. No. And I want to respect that for you during this interview also because you're in a safe place. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. But I love this conversation because so many people call in and we are women. So this is how women deal with stuff. But it's like we all have to say this over and over to ourselves.

Who gives a shit until it breaks through and it is inside of us, you know? Yeah. Because it doesn't matter. Yeah. I think that's why I've always been drawn to everything you do is because it is because it really feels like you don't give a shit. And you're also very intelligent and very. And you're also like you go to the ends of things. Like you have an interest in something that's small and then you go to the very ends of it. And then you get to let us watch you explore it. And I find that to be so satisfying as someone who is a fearful person. And they're kind of scared of everything. Generally, speaking. I am one of six children. And I know you're one of six children. What number are you?

I'm four. Four. I'm number six out of six. And same parents. Same parents. I feel like I know your parents. Do you have same parents? All six kids?

Just the first four. Oh, okay. Okay. And then different mother for the second two. Okay. Yeah. And so do you think being number four out of six? So you're a middle child but also a baby.

Also a baby. So a middle child and a baby. Yeah. I really feel like the baby. You feel like the baby. Yeah, because it's like 10 years of being the baby. Because usually the babies are rebellious and less fearful. Yeah.

Well, I didn't get that, Gene. I definitely, I watched, I observed, I decided what I wanted to do, what I didn't want to do. I was very clever with my parents about how they set precedents before me and I held them to those precedents. You give us an example? You're like sleeping over at your boyfriend's house in high school. Well, how old were you when you were allowed to do that? They, well, I wasn't. And I was like, well, I'm either going to lie to you and tell you that I'm not or you're

going to know where I am and I'm going to tell you that I'm doing that. Great framing. Yeah. It's how I spoke to them about underage drinking as well. Well, that's good. I was like, there is vodka in my room because when I go to parties, I want to bring my own. That's nice. This is smart, too.

Yeah, I didn't want to drink other things. And, yeah, it first starts off as a fight, but then I think I'm being really rational. Well, you are being rational. Yeah. I mean, if you frame it that way as a child to the parent, what is the parent? They're like, wait, wait, wait. I just lost that argument anyway. It's so responsibility forward, right?

So you were rebellious, though. I was very rebellious. I'm still very rebellious. I have a problem with anyone telling me what to do. Right. I don't like that. Right. Which is why I wouldn't be great on a movie set because of all the things

that you mentioned about being prepared, I fly by the seat of my pants. So if someone tells me to memorize something, I'm like, you mean, like, I'll spit it back out of my own verbiage is what I think. And they're like, no, no, these are the lines in the script. And I'm like the most people pleaser of a person. When you go to acting school, because that's serious. You know, that can produce serious actors.

Yeah, sure. When you go to, like, what is something that you've learned or what are the things that you learn in acting? Because, you know, so many people go to school and then they're in a profession that they went to school for and they're like, need to be, like, I didn't even need to get that training. So what are some of the tools that you have acquired from acting class that you could share with us that you still use today? So much, actually. Like what? Tell me. I'm interested.

Voice work where you place, where you place your voice, depending on the character, depending on the character's disposition, depending, like for candy, for instance, and love and death. She, it comes up in a time where she's a very performative woman. So I use, like, way more vocalizing of different registers and my voice that were more feminine than what I naturally rest in. And there's also like more of a sing-song quality because it's more pleasing as a woman in that time. So those are the kinds of things that you would start with. And dialects you play around with script analysis so that you're not repetitive in an arc, like those kinds of things. Wow. And so do you use a coach each time you go into a different project or you just do this work on your own? It's a bit of both.

There's a dialect coach named Sarah Shepard, who I've been working with for 15 years. And she's also a great script analysis partner. And so she and I sometimes have discoveries together. It's amazing how much, if you think about, you were just kind of joking about getting more in touch with, what did you say, not the natural world, but you were talking about just getting in touch with like the spirit, the universe, aligning yourself with the universe. Yeah, yeah. So I feel that way about when you're trying to figure out how the character you're about to play where they hold their breath, how they breathe, how deeper those breaths, where do they like hold their body, tension. I feel like there's so many realizations that you have about people just in that kind of discovery that

like make you feel aligned with like their universe in some like spiritual way. And I feel so much more comfortable kind of exploring as these other people interacting in the world almost more so than myself at times. Let's talk about your movie, Eternity. Do you want to tell us how to, because I don't want to ruin anything by describing it myself. Sure. I'll try anything. I'll try something. Okay, you try. Eternity is about an 89-year-old woman who dies and ends up in the afterlife. Eighty-nine was kind of a number I just chose. I don't actually remember how old she is. But she dies, ends up in the afterlife. And her husband who died two weeks before her, who is her husband for 65 years, is there waiting for her, along with her first husband who died in the Korean War. And she has to choose which husband she would like to spend eternity with. And it's a struggle. And it's a very big struggle because do you choose the easy comfort that you know of 65 years or do you choose the path that you never got to take or do you choose something that's neither? And the thing that I loved is imagining this woman who I think by the time you're about 90,

I'm sure like there aren't too many really big decisions you have to make. Like you've kind of made a lot of big decisions in the first half of your life and not the second half of your life and how shocking it would be to have to and how overwhelming it would be. be to have to make such a big decision that's not menial tasks about like errands and taxes or something and yeah this is like the big it's like it would kill her all over again it does it makes you think it's a very thought provoking movie because it really makes you consider what you yourself would do in that kind of situation yeah do first of all do you believe in the afterlife do you believe that there is one don't I I I I I'm always wanting

to hear about other people's experiences with spirits, with aliens, with afterlife, with religions. I, because I, I find them to be so comforting. And I would love to be comforted myself. But I am not comforted. I don't, there's nothing that feels exactly like that I can connect to, I guess. But I'm really happy for other people having these thoughts and dreams. I'm happy that other people are delusional. It's like really. an afterlife. It's really nice and cozy to think about it that way. I love to, exactly. It's a comfort to talk about it when people talk about it because obviously we're never going to fucking know until we die and we probably won't find out then either. No. But it is comforting

to think that something does happen after. But where I lose it is like I believe in energy and I believe that energy doesn't die, right? You see if you've met someone, they're in your heart forever, whether they're here or they're not. I believe in that. That's something. Right. And we have a psychic coming on the show in a few weeks. So I just read her book. And she talks about all these people who have, you know, near life or past death experiences or people who talk to you from, from like, if I ask my mom to show me an orange out of place. My mom's dead. If I ask her to show me an orange out of place, I'll see it within 24 hours. An oversized orange that's not in a grocery store. Right. Like, so I, I get that every time. But you could, it's when people start talking about reincarnation that I, they lose me. Because I'm like, then that involves magic. That involves that Then we're putting a little potion You're dying And then okay

And then you're gonna come back As this dog or this other person Like when people talk about past lives Did you ever see Glazer's film Birth With Nicole Kidman Where her dead husband comes back As this little boy I remember it because of her haircut in it

Yeah, I did a pixie What's it called? Birth, oh birth right? Yeah Is it called birth? Yeah, how did I miss that? It was a while ago I don't know

10 years ago? Yeah 2000 Or, yeah, 2000s, early 2000s, maybe. And so her husband's reincarnated as a little boy. And it's very, I mean, it's, she falls in for this little boy. Nicole Kedman, a grown woman, debating whether or not she's supposed to boost. Well, that's not the first time for her.

She's always with little boys now. Remember last year's movie or that was two years ago? This is like a seven-year-old. Well, listen, in one of those books, in many, in many lives, many masters, is that the book? Have you ever read that book? Okay. Many Lives, Many Masters opens with this story about, correct me if I'm saying the wrong book. I think I'm saying the way book is a story about, it opens with a story about this boy who speaks

a foreign language that his parents have never spoken to him. He's like three or four years old and he talks about having a wife and children in another country. And I think it's Italy or Spain. He speaks fluent Italian or Spanish, whichever the country is. And he talks about his wife and he talks about the village he lives in. And finally, the parents, after a certain amount of... a time go and research it and they find this woman who has two small children and lost her

husband and he's like I'm her husband so like you hear stuff like that and you're like oh yeah that is inexplicable like it is inexplicable but also involves a lot of fairy dust and magic like the magic part is and the reincarnation I just find that to me do you believe in that I I like the idea I know you don't want to be reincarnated I mean I also like the idea of her going to heaven and you know and there's elevators and people are working. You know what I mean in this movie? But it's also, our movies are kind of nihilistic in the sense that it's like just like sell, sell, sell when you get to the afterlife.

It's just like a capitalist afterlife that has like belief in nothing. And there are different versions of heaven, right? Yeah. Describe, you can say that part. Yeah, there's a lot of different eternities that you can choose. And some of them are like the workout world or there's the there's the attorney where you can be in fanatilized for the rest of your life and pretend to be a baby and have a mommy. And there's that kind of world.

There is queer world. There's a clown world, which I particularly didn't like. There was a studio, studio 54, is that what it was called? World where people could just do cocaine and not die. And smoke, smoke, and you'll never die again. Oh, that is fun. And that sounds like they would have a casino also. I could get a long while there.

Do you love casinos? I hate casinos. No. I have a residency in Vegas. I perform once a month because that's about as much as I like to work. And not excluding, present company excluded, obviously. But I don't like the vibe. It makes me uneasy.

I spent the day in Vegas this last time I was there because we went to see Alas the next night. And spending the day in Vegas makes me uneasy. I don't like to be there when the lights are like when it's light out. I've only been once in it. don't remember sleeping. How have you avoided Vegas your entire life? I mean, no one's asked me to do like a one-woman show there. I'm not performing. But don't you have to do like press ever in Vegas? Like what about? I've never done cinema con or anything or batch. No, no, luckily no. I have very few married friends. Really? And if they're married, I met them married. Yeah.

What about astrology? What do you think, what are your thoughts on astrology? Um, so a few, a few of them. So I think a lot of them sound, all of the signs sound like I could have a piece of of myself align with each of them. Yet someone, Patty, who is with me today who does makeup, she had a friend of hers who reads charts from Iceland. I sent her all the information where you're born, what time a day, your birthday. I think that's kind of all you need for a birth chart. And she had said something to me that brought me to tears. It was so spooky. And she had made this like 13 minute voice message and I journal every morning for the most part and I've been doing that for a few years and it's kind of where I have my own realizations about where I am

in my psyche and my mental health. And I was having this realization a week before listening to this where I realized I just need to travel more. I am so fulfilled by traveling and being in one place has never made me comfortable. I always want to be on the go. And, I had that realization. And then she took like two minutes to tell me how important travel is for my birth sign just days later. What is your birth date? February 16th. Okay. I'm February 25th. Oh, interesting. So you're Pisces. I'm a Pisces, but you're Aquarius. Aquarius. Yeah. Yeah. And so that moved me. Like, so I do believe there's something to it. I think there's definitely something about when you were born, what was going on with the planets, when you were born, like that

kind of hysterian astrology is when they, I think, is probably what you did, because I've done something similar to that. I think that's a pretty, like, I don't like it when it's a predictor of the future. Like, I find that to be nonsense. I also don't want to know. But, yeah, of course. Like, don't tell me. What you're, yeah, right. I don't want to know either, really. Because then I'm going to make decisions that are affected by you just saying that sentence to me and I can't adhere it now. It's like a friend of mine. She, I think, went to the same mysterious astrologer that you use. Jade? Yes. But she...

Is Jade the woman in the valley? It's a guy. Jade's a guy. But she was told by him, at some point in your life, you're going to break both of your ankles. So she, like there's two ways you can go with this, right? At the same time? We don't know. So her reaction was, well, I can't do anything.

I can't rollerblade or roller skate, can't do anything dangerous. I just have to be careful so I don't. But he said, you're going to. So in my mind, that means go ahead and do whatever you want. It's going to happen one way or the other and get it over with. And? Well, she hasn't done it yet. She hasn't broken her ankles yet.

No, so she's just afraid. It's a really fucked up thing to tell somebody. It's like, why don't want you just leave that part out? Who wants to know about that? Also, like, now she's going to not do so many things that could, like, create joy in her life. Yeah. So, wait, talk to me about journaling. How did you get into the practice of journaling?

I don't remember where it started. I think, I like writing. Yeah. Do you handwrite in your journal? Is that how you do it? Yeah. Do you think that's more impactful than writing, like, typing it in? I think there's something that happens when you slow down your brain to write out a word

slower than you could type it that I think helps you have new thoughts. Like you're not ahead of it. You have to be slower. And so it helps me like slow down how fast my brain is moving. And sometimes it doesn't work and it's completely scattered thoughts. But I started doing it, I don't know, I just started doing it every morning three years ago along with jumping naked into my pool. Do you do that every morning? Yeah, I do. Oh my God, I love this. It's just, yeah, I don't heat it. Sometimes it's not that cold, but I love swimming naked so much. And I know you love taking pictures of yourself naked. I love to be naked. I mean, I like my underwear and bra on. Yeah, I don't think to be full, I mean, I don't have a problem with nudity, but I, I, yeah, I just want to be in

my brown underwear all the time. I want to be naked in water all the time. Yeah, well, naked and Wonder's a nice feeling. Yeah. Yeah. And smoothing through it. I don't want to just like sit in a cold plunge. I want to move through a body water. So do you swim every morning or you just jump in?

Just for like three to five minutes. I just slowly swim. So which order do these things happen in? Do you journal first or you get in the pool first? I get in the pool first. What's the very first thing that happens when you wake up? Do you brush your teeth first? I brush my teeth.

I make coffee while it's being made. I jump in the pool. I do like an 80-year-old calisthetics afterwards. to warm up my body and mobilize and stretching it blood flow and then I journal with coffee. Wow. And I do a version of this even when I'm working. That's amazing. But it usually involves a bathtub that I don't swim in, but sometimes I'll still do the water part.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And how long will you journal for each morning? It depends. I try and give myself 10 minutes minimum. Mm-hmm. And what do you think that's brought to your life that you didn't have before? Enough like self-reflection that I think it's been helpful problem solving. It's been helpful making plans. It's been like for what I want or what I think I need. It's been helpful creating, like trying to understand something that had happened or something that's happened to someone else and why they respond in certain ways. So I think it helps. It's to me a version of meditation and therapy without while like trusting your own instincts in some.

way, but I'm so therapyed as a person. You seem very together. I spent so much time in talk therapy. And I started doing a new therapy that I've become obsessed with. What's this called? Somatic therapy. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm really, it's, I'm brand new. It's like truly only a month of a new thing. Yeah. So how does that work? Can you talk about it? Sure. I mean, I'm not going to do it well. Like I'm not, I just, because it's so new to me so maybe you can help me. But I was surprised to how. Is she your therapist? No, you do it. Yeah. I mean, there are certain, you know, exercises you can do, mindfulness, these sorts of things. But at the same time, it kind of just feels like regular therapy. But when I started it, I found I had a real purge for like every time I talked to my therapist. It was like purging, weeping, like every single time for like six months.

Because somatic means your body, right? Your somatic therapy. Yeah. And so what's happening right now, at least what I'm experiencing is they listen to whatever you want to speak. about that day, maybe for like 15, 20 minutes until something in you is changing that you're having a physical response to. And then they want to talk about that physical response and basically give you tools and exercises that help your physical response that is connected to your brain so that you can at least help yourself have similar, like if there's something in a relationship that comes up and that makes you feel a certain way, whether it's like rage or overwhelmed, you talk about it and then you work on an exercise that helps try and rewire your brain's response

that gives you the message to your body. Yeah, like soothe your nervous system. Oh, I see. So it's very activated. It's not just talking. Like you're doing it you're interacting with tools. Yeah, do you know what EMDR is? That's the tool.

Oh, okay, because it sounds like EMDR a little bit. I haven't done that yet. You change your reaction to something. It's like what you're saying. and like if you have a traumatic memory, you go back to that memory while you're holding these kind of instruments. I don't really...

Yeah, they're like vibration. Yeah. And you reframe the way that you react to that response. So that's in the neighborhood of what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah, you seem very together and grounded. You seem very together. Well, I'm okay.

I'm doing just fine. Would people, would all the people that are closest to you in your life describe you as together? Yeah, they would. I think the thing that I'm trying really to explore now in work is like a wildness because I think I need that especially as I get older. I think you become like more, I do at least become almost like more responsible and I kind of want to have fewer responsibilities and be a little bit wilder. Wow. And I can do that in a way with work. Yeah. And like find an edge that I want that I want to see you do that on screen. I like I would love. I would love. I would love. I would love. I would love. I would love. I love that, yeah. I mean, you are like that as an actress. You kind of, you could see that you're not, you're acting. Like, you know what I mean? And I mean that in the best way. But I like watching people act. Yes. So it's fun to me to get to like act instead of just be a version of my, just like a version of myself and like be cool or something because I don't know how to be cool. But some people are really good at it, you know, and are really charming just being themselves. And I much rather like invent something else. That's the sign of an actor. We're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Elizabeth Olson. You know the shade is always Shadiest right here. Season 6 of the podcast Reasonably Shady with Jazelle Bryan and Robin Dixon is here dropping every Monday.

As two of the founding members of the Real Housewives of Potomac were giving you all the laughs, drama, and reality news you can handle. And you know we don't hold back. So come be reasonable or shady with us each and every Monday. I was going through a walk in my neighborhood Out of the blue I see this huge sign next to somebody's house The sign says My neighbor is a Karen

No way I died laughing I'm like I have to know You are lying humongous y'all They had some time on their hands Listen to Reasonably Shady from the Black Effect Podcast Network On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Lama is a spirit. It's not just a city. I didn't really have an interest of being on air. I kind of was up there to just try and infiltrate the building. It's where Kronk was born in a club in the West End. Four World Star, it was 5'9. Where a tiny bar birthed a generation of rap stars, where preachers go viral.

And students at the HBCU turn. heartbreaking in the resurrection. How do you get people to believe in something that's dead? Well, Dream was brought Hollywood to the South, and hustlers bring their visions to create Black wealth. Nobody's rushing into relationships with you. Where are you from? They want to look in the eye.

Where the future is nostalgia. Talk to the chat, GPT. She's like, you really did first lady to have a gayful girl's tape in Atlanta, Georgia. Like, that's what separates you from a lot of people. And I'm like, oh, what, you're right? Atlanta doesn't wait for permission. It builds its own spotlight. I'm big rude. Let us guide you through the stories behind Atlanta's most iconic moments.

Listen to Atlanta is on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia. We had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it. But what they find is not what they expected. Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin. They go, is this your daughter? I said yes.

They go, oh, you may not see her for like 25 years. Caught between a federal investigation and the violent gang who recruited them, the women must decide who they're willing to protect and who they dare to betray. Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand, and I saw the flash of light. Listen to the Chinatown Sting on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts.

I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people. horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all.

It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, How Southwest Airlines Use Cheap Seats and Free Whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons.

And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the Electroship. Listen to Business History on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, host of the hit podcast Family Secrets.

We were in the car, like a Rolling Stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened. These are just a few of the moving and important stories I'll be holding space for on my upcoming 13th season of Family Secrets. Whether you've been on this journey with me from season one or just joining the Family Secrets family, we're so happy to have you with. with us. I'll dive deep into the incredible power of secrets, the ones that shape our identities,

test our relationships, and ultimately reveal who we truly are. Listen to Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Elizabeth Olson, and we're back. Do you go by Lizzie? You go by Lizzie? I do. Yeah. Okay, Lizzie listen. Okay. Okay, Catherine, what do we have in store for us today? Well, we're We're going to start with Dustin. His subject line is gunkle with mean girl nieces. Wait, gunkle? Gunkle, gay uncle.

Gunkle. So he says, dear Chelsea, I'm a long-time fan, and I was actually born on your 10th birthday. Did you wish for more gays, he says? Probably. On your show with Sasha Mamet, you mentioned that there is nothing worse than girls who become bullies. My nibblings, my brother's kids, are being raised to want for nothing, whereas we came from a frugal Jewish household. Not only does this make it impossible for me to spoil. them myself, but the eldest literally dressed as a mean girl for Halloween. She's only 11,

but she's already a stunning natural blonde, so it's clear as vodka that she's going to be that popular girl and going to be trouble. I love these kids with all my heart and simply want them to be the beautiful human beings I know they can be. As the childless by choice, uncle, do I keep my mouth shut or try to push this more? I don't get that much quality time with my family, so I try to be easygoing and conflict avoidant when I'm around them because I'm a middle child. I know you're equally obsessed with your nieces and nephews. What should I do best, Dustin? Hmm. We've got him here. Hi, Dustin. Hi, Dustin. Hi. Hi, how are you? This is our special guest. Elizabeth Olson is here today. Hey. Hi, Elizabeth. Hi. Hi. Hi. Are you, you have nieces and

nephews? I do. They're very, very little, though. They're very little. Yeah. But I also, I don't know. I, I'm really scared of conflict. I've conflict myself as well. But I also. I also. don't know how to give other people advice on parenting if they're not your kids or like like you can only just I don't know so that's kind of that's kind of the first thing that I was thinking about yeah it's pretty tricky even though you are an uncle like you know you can only really talk to your is it your sister or your brother it's my brother I mean can you can't you have an honest conversation with him about because like bullies have been bullied so someone bullied her right like and it's an important conversation to have with young girls and she literally went as a

mean girl for Halloween, because I feel like she emulates and, like, idolizes that. Uh-huh. Well, I think, okay, first of all, you should, I mean, would you feel comfortable having a conversation with your brother about it? Yeah. So you should do that first. Just be like, we can't have her grow up to be a mean girl. So as a team, this is a team effort. You know what I mean? You join forces and you're like, okay, listen, let's do this together because I don't want, you know, she dressed up as a mean girl. That's a little bit of a red flag. La, blah, blah, like, we don't want her to look at that

as a guide for anything. And then the other thing that is the other thing that is, you know, you can do is demonstrate how cool it is to be a nice girl. Like you can be blowing those, you know what I mean? You can be talking about women who are supportive of other women. And you can instill that in your time with her without being preachy about it. You know what I mean? Just by talking about other women and women helping each other. And like, you know, nobody wants to be excluded. Nobody wants to be left out. Like all of those themes are, I mean, that's what uncles are for. You know, that's what an aunt and uncle role is. It's not like it's someone else's you are related to her.

They're not necessarily going to say, you know, I mean, it is a little preemptive what you're talking about, but I understand what you mean. And I think you just have more conversations around it. You know, how important is to be a nice person to other people, to care about other people and putting yourselves in those situations because sometimes when you are growing up and you are young,

you are just like you're looking to the future as like, you're not even understanding the experience you're in. You're looking forward so much. to what is going to be, right, and actually taking the time as a kid to think about other people and how things make people feel. And when her feelings get hurt, to also take those moments, you know what I mean, as a teaching moment, to explain to her, you know, to remind her, because nobody wants to feel excluded or left out or bullied like that. So I don't know if any of that's helpful. I feel like you should just start having the conversations around it. I think so. Well,

now I'm going to have to because they're going to hear about this podcast. Yeah. I also think, like, you're the cool uncle. So they're naturally going to gravitate toward you, want to know what your opinions are on things. And what I like to do in these sorts of situations is, like, have one-on-one conversations with the kids and, like, what's going on? Like, what's happening in the friend group?

Like, what's the goss right now? And, like, act like you're very interested in it because it is kind of interesting. And it's all sort of high school or, you know, junior high at that age. But when they start telling you about specific situations, that's where we're, where you can kind of get into the nitty gritty. Like I had a niece who was saying like, oh, this one girl in the friend group said something means we're all ganging up on her on Snapchat. And I was like, well, you know, we had a conversation about it.

And I think she made some different choices because we talked about it. But it wasn't in the sort of schooling way. It was like, oh, tell me what's going on. Like, what's the gas girl. I think it's really helpful with what you said that I'm still learning with people in my own life that are grown adults, like trying not to just focus on what maybe you shouldn't be doing, but highlighting the exact. like you're saying of the role, like this is an example of something positive and showcasing

that as opposed to what not to do. Yes. And sometimes people need to learn like the framework matters. Always applauding the people that are doing the way you want her to behave, like whether it's Taylor Swift and all the wonderful things she does. I mean, with her money or whether it's an actual person that you see doing something nice for another person and pointing it out. She's obsessed with Taylor Swift and is loosely named after her. So I think that's a great role model example. And also like it's also a warning shot. It's like be careful who you're, you know, who you're not nice to because you never know

when you're going to run into that person again in your life and you're never going to know if they're going to have an opportunity to help you once or you might need something from that person. Like some people's brains work better like with almost like a threat tactic. You know what I mean? Because what's that saying in Hollywood? Like be nice to the people on your way up because you're, going to need them on your way down, something like that, right? Like, it's true. You, you, you, be,

be careful. You never know how people are going to come in and out of your life or when you're going to need a favor from someone. So there's also that tactic. If you, it's depending on what her personality is like. So those are a couple of ideas anyway. We're still learning what the personality is, but she's definitely super precocious and outgoing. But good for you for having your eye on it. Prococious and outgoing is all fine. It's all fine. You know, like, that's good. and those things it can end up as strong, strong assets and will. But definitely be active about it. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Will you follow up with us if you have a little conversation and get some hot goss about what's happening with the 11-year-olds? I will. I'll let you all know how they respond to this. Thanks, Dustin. Thanks, Dustin.

Nice to meet you all. Hi. Were you bullied ever growing up at school? No, my husband hates me talking about my elementary school experience because Because I had just the loveliest high school, elementary school. That's nice. Yeah. I mean, there were definite, like, we for the most part all got along, and there were probably

a few people who don't feel that way. But out of 50 people and then 120 people that graduate, we all cared a lot about having a cumulative high GPA. And we cared about supporting the basketball team and the basketball supported the arts. And it was a very, yeah, like we would go to rehearsal. and then we'd go to the basketball game, the basketball players would go watch all of our ballet performances or whatever it was.

There's community again. Yeah. And so I just had a really positive experience. That's amazing. And so let's talk about why that is important community right now in this time that we're living in with regards to America. I don't know if that's what you were talking about politics. I feel this way about the political situation.

For me, it's about actually the things that we have in common that aren't politics. Right. Like a bunch of people going to their local theater to watch a bunch of kids perform in like a Halloween show or a Christmas show. Like my friends in Sonoma, I live there part-time. It's like my way of having a life that feels like it's part of a community. It's very, it's very community-oriented. Being a second homeowner there was very hard to kind of slip in and be and ingratiate

yourselves with the community. So we started off like bartering and trading. Like genuinely, we're like, we have grapes. Who wants them? We don't want them. We don't want to do anything with them. Who can, like, we'll trade with you. you guys have it and then be our friend. And our friends have like a movie night once a month

that they curate at the square theater. That's a private theater. And those kinds of things I just think are really important for people to get together and have something else in common. But I also feel the same way about sports. I'm a big Dodgers fan. I can't say I'm a big baseball fan, but I think I am because of how much I love the Dodgers. Congratulations on winning the World Series. Thanks. I love those boys so much. And some of them are men. But a lot them are boys. And I'm so happy for them. It was very surprising. I just think when you, you just don't know what people's political points of views are when everyone has this other thing in common. Yes. That brings them together. Meaning, are you referencing the Dodgers? Yeah.

I see what you're saying. Yes. Yeah. I think it's really important to, because we're so, right now, it's, it's really hard to not label people. Yeah. You know, you want to label people. Well, so people are choosing to label themselves a lot of the times. Yes. Right. Right. We have like a lot of identifiers now and they just become more specific. Yeah. So it is important for us to remember that like I really need to find ways I know personally I need to find ways to be more open minded about about not being so preoccupied with the political landscape and more focused on the individual person. Yeah. I have work to do on that. Like I love what you're saying about it. It's funny when you say about community like that's how I felt when I was in Spain like there's a community there. I'm not

even really part of it, but there is a community there. It's the same guy at the coffee store every morning. It's the same guy at the bike shop. And it's like, and so when I was reading something you were talking about before you came in, and I was like, yeah, we need a community reminder. We need like a community update. Yeah. And we can't do it from our phones. Like that's creating siloed experiences, not actual interaction. Right, right. You need to be in person with people doing something that is absent of politics. Yeah. So getting back on a more human level.

And I think people just have more rituals in other countries than we do around that. And especially in person in rituals. Yeah, we were talking a little while back about the third space, how we used to have, you know, the local bar you'd go to or the moose lodge or what our church and people would meet in these communal spaces that we're not work and we're not home. And we just don't really have that anymore. And suddenly it's like online is the third space. but it's not actually like it can't actually be our third space but it's the place where a lot of people are spending most of their social time yeah yeah and it's not effective yeah it's not it's not healing it's not healthy well our next caller is amy dear chelsea i'm a 41 year old single mom of two running my own business juggling kids pets a mortgage and about a thousand responsibilities i've been divorced for over a decade try just about everything in the dating world apps speed dating matchmakers even a few ill-advised trips back to exes, and I've been truly single for the past two years. Partly because the apps are stupid and exhausting, partly because my kids are in every sport known to humankind, and partly

because I lost faith in men, especially with the current political climate. Here's the thing. I want connection. I want a partner, someone to share the joy in the weight of this full, messy, beautiful life with, someone who makes me feel cared for, loved, and special. But dating feels daunting. My small town is a red pocket in a blue state. The kind of place where you find guys holding a fish in their profile picks, and you only get five matches if you want someone educated. As a Japanese woman with a unique name and a career that requires some privacy, putting myself fully out there online feels complicated and uncomfortable. So how do I start fresh? Do I travel to meet people? Am I overlooking ways to connect and meet people? Or should I just lean into the

single life and adopt more dogs? I do want to be surrounded by animals when I retire, so maybe start now, Amy. Hi. Hi, cutey. This is our special. special guest, Elizabeth Olson's here today. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. Well, it sounds, where do you live? I live in Southern Oregon, just across the kind of the border of California. Yeah. I mean, listen, the world we live in, you do kind of have to put yourself out in ways that are not normal. You know what I mean? Put yourself out there if you are interested in meeting someone. First of all, I would say, like, I understand your disappointment in men. Most women are disappointed in men these

days. It's not unusual. You're not alone. Like I can't even believe men. You know what I mean? Yes. So I'm an advocate for like remaining true to myself first and foremost. If someone were to come along and blow my socks off, absolutely. I'm down. But I'm not, you know, actively looking for it. But I think if you really are, then you should own it. And you should put yourself on the apps and you should go outside of your comfort zone and the out of your community and just find any ways that you can like hiking groups, biking groups, tennis groups, whatever those, you know, whatever you're into, just engage yourself and like set a period of time to actually activate yourself to go, okay, for the next six months, I'm going to focus on finding somebody that I can

connect with. You know, like really put all your energy towards it, your free energy, because it sounds like you have a lot going on. But your free energy towards it, you know, and travel. Get out of there. Are you far from Portland? No, it's about like four, four and a half hour drive. Yeah, go there for a weekend and sign up for things that are going to be like intersex. You know what I mean? Where there's like, like my friend, she just got divorced and she went on all the apps and she loved it. She's like, oh my God, this is so exciting. This is so exciting. And then she just joined a bunch. And she lives in Portland actually. And she joined a hiking group. And the next two weeks later, she was like dating this guy. She's like, oh, yeah, we're dating.

So like things like that where you are forced to meet and engage new people because you'll probably we meet some really cool friends too. Yeah. You know? So I would just say to, you know, I don't have anything, any problem with the apps. I just feel like it can be daunting for a single person to be on apps. It's kind of depressing. You know, I know what you mean about men holding fish.

Like, I don't know. I don't know who told men to do that. Like, why are they holding a fish in their profile? How many women want to go fishing? Not a lot of us. Not a lot. I would love to go fishing. Would you love to go fishing?

taking private lessons. Oh, my God. Oh, my son. She, do you, she's already married, so we can't set her up with the fisherman. Yes. Well, and I was fishing with my kids already. So, you know, I do things for my kids, but do I really want to do that when I'm not doing it for my kids? Not really. No, but, but I do think, like, I think it's important when you want something in your life to say it, write it down. Like, you want to change the energy around it, you know, like the subject matter. You want to meet someone, write down exactly what you want in them, not physical necessarily, but what are you looking for in a partner? What are you looking for in connection? And really reminding yourself spending time with those thoughts a little bit every

morning when you wake up, whether it's journaling or just writing some affirmations or devote some area of your life to putting energy towards meeting somebody and see what happens in about six months because I mean this is the first step you called in to see about this and like I think things change and your energy changes up when you start to take active steps towards something you know yes yeah and I like the you said put a time frame on it because it is daunting to be just out there no for the foreseeable future but if I say six months I'm going to prioritize this that feels more doable and not like hopeless amount of time. Right. Because when you don't meet somebody or when you go on horrible dates, it's like,

what am I doing? I could have stayed home with my dog. Totally. Totally. I mean, I've just been learning to enjoy my company more and more and more as I get older. I really have a good time with myself. And I'm sure you feel the same way. Yes. So it's great that you know that that's an option too. Because if you put so, if in six months, you have not met anyone worthwhile, then you can really just focused on being by yourself. You know what I mean? You can be like, okay, I made an effort and and I did, I tried and then see what happens, you know? And get another dog. If I don't meet anybody six months, I get another dog. I think that's your reward. That's the answer really for everything is just to get another dog, you know? Yes. Yeah. But I'm glad you have a good

attitude about it and then you have a good attitude in general. Like, you know, that's fun. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, totally. All right. Well, thanks for calling in, Amy. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Bye. Bye. You guys are so good at this. Oh, God. Thank you. I love watching you do this live. Wow. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. Thank you. Yeah. How many time? So quickly and so easily to you. Well, most people, don't you think about this. This is how I think about this podcast. And I say it all the time. Sorry, if you're listening to me and repeating myself as usual. But I think really all you ever need when you have a situation is you need someone who has nothing at stake in your life to give you their opinion, like objectively. And that's what this is. You know, you just need someone else's opinion. Yeah, they don't need to know any other details.

They don't even know about your past. They just need to know about one thing. What is this situation specific? Right. What's the context of the situation? But I would never think about joining groups like a biking group or a hiking group, whatever it is. I just think that's such great advice for people to go and meet people in person instead of it feeling like this thing that's so removed from them on their phone. Yeah.

I heard this thing the other day with the apps. It's like, of course, the apps are a business. They're meant to keep you on the apps, not necessarily to help you find the person. And I read recently, they're basically like siphon off the good people. They're showing you kind of the crappy ones. So you stay on it for longer. Well, Anna had a friend that told me that you can pay to be put in front of people more. But then you're like, is she desperate?

Because she's paying to be put in front of people? Yeah, she was explaining this to me about how it's. such a business basically and how fucked it is. Yes. Aren't you happy you don't have to deal with this? Yeah. I don't know if I would be, I don't know how to do. I do enjoy being on other friends apps. I like that. Sure. I find it kind of entertaining, but that's because I'm so removed from it. I like to go through my sisters, you know, and just respond to her, from her to other people. I love doing that. I love that. I'm so much more invested when it's someone else rather than myself.

Sure. Are we going to take a break and come back and? Yeah. Yeah, okay. We'll take another break. We'll be right back to wrap up with a Lizzie Olson. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, host of the hit podcast Family Secrets. We were in the car, like a Rolling Stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened.

These are just a few of the moving and important stories I'll be holding space for on my upcoming 13th season of Family Secrets. Whether you've been on this journey with me from season one or just joining the Family Secrets family, we're so happy to have you with us. I'll dive deep into the incredible power of secrets, the ones that shape our identities, test our relationships, and ultimately reveal who we truly are. Listen to Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Pointer, chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. On this show, I'll be talking to top researchers and top clinicians, asking them your burning questions and bringing that information about women's health and midlife directly to you. A hundred percent of women go through menopause.

It can be such a struggle for our quality of life, but even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it? The types of symptoms that people talk about is forgetting everything, I never used to forget things. They're concerned that, one, they have dementia, and the other one is, do I have ADHD? There is unprecedented promise with regard to cannabis and cannabinoids, to sleep better, to have less pain, to have better mood, and also to have better day-to-day life. Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Pointer on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening now. It's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other. Thanksgiving isn't just about food. It's a day for us to show up for one another. I'm Elliot Connie, host of the podcast Family Therapy, a series where real families come together to heal and find hope.

What would be a clue that would be like? I've gotten lots of text messages from him. This one's from a little bit better of a version of him. Because he's feeding himself well. It's always a concern. Like, are you eating well? He's actually an amazing cook. There was this one time where we had neighbors and I saved their dog.

And I ended up inviting them over for food. And that was like one of my proudest moments. This is family therapy. Real families, real stories on a journey to heal together. Listen to Season 2 of Family Therapy every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History,

about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses,

along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked, like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. May 24, 1990, a pipe bomb explodes in the front seat of environmental activist Judy Berry's car. I knew it was a bomb the second that it exploded. I felt it ripped through me with just. just a force more powerful and terrible than anything that I could describe.

In season two of Rip Current, we ask, who tried to kill Judy Berry and why? She received death threats before the bombing. She received more threats after the bombing. The man and woman who were heard had planned to lead a summer of militant protest against logging practices in Northern California. They were climbing trees and they were sabotaging logging equipment in the woods. The timber industry, I mean, it was the number one. industry in the area, but more than it was the culture. It was the way of life.

I think that this is a deliberate attempt to sabotage our movement. Episodes of RipCurrent Season 2 are available now. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Lizzie Olson. Do we have one last question? Yeah. So I think this is a quick answer, even though it's a little bit of a longer email. So Stella, her subject line is one foot in, one foot out, and I'm paying double rent. Dear Chelsea, I'm 27 years old, and in my first year of practice as a lawyer, I met my boyfriend in law school. From the moment we started seeing one another, he was very casual. He made it clear to me that he was not looking

for a girlfriend, did not see himself having kids, and was very, very career-oriented. At the time, I was okay with taking things slow and being casual. Since we were both in law school, this made sense, and I was also not desperate to get into a relationship, had not given kids much thought and was focusing on my career. After six or seven months of casual dating, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend and we've been going strong ever since. Now we've been together for three years and I'm starting to wonder whether casual for him is a permanent state of mind rather than something temporary while he was going through law school and figuring out life. What I thought was a slow, intentional foundation for a deeper relationship is starting

to feel more like a bad omen, one where I'm getting strung along until I finally reach my limit and walk away. Everyone around us is moving in together, getting engaged, having kids. Meanwhile, we hardly, if ever, talk about the future. When I bring it up, he brushes it off by saying every relationship is different. When both of our leases were ending last year, I suggested moving in together. At the time, I was living alone and he was with a roommate. He told me he wanted at least one year of being on his own before he could be comfortable settling down. I respected his wishes, although it was a bit frustrating to realize we're spending most nights together anyway. It feels like we live together just with twice the rent. This is annoying. I know. Since

then, there has not been a follow-up from him, no renewed conversation about eventually moving in. I'm trying to give him grace. I'm trying to be patient. But with every passing month and still no real conversations about where we're headed, I keep asking myself what he's doing. And more importantly, what the hell I am doing here? What are you doing? My best friend's older sister was in a relationship with a man from the time she was 22 years old. When they broke up, just shy of her 30th birthday, she told me, never waste your 20s on a man who does not see a future with you. It does not take anyone a decade to decide whether they want to be with you. considering I've been with my partner for the greater part of my 20s, I cannot help but wonder

if I'm failing to take her advice and I'm doomed to make the same mistake. So Chelsea, what do you think? Am I ignoring the writing on the wall? Yes. Am I just being impatient? Yes. Stella. I, I, if you can't have that conversation, I don't, I don't think it's worth your time. If he isn't there to show up just to have the conversation about it. Yeah, agreed. It's over. It's three three years like if you love someone there should be no problem talking around anything you should be able to talk around marriage or you know about marriage around marriage around moving in all of those things are shouldn't be you shouldn't be scared to bring something up and you shouldn't be campaigning to be someone's choice no it's your roommate or it's like you're trying to figure out what he's like

you decide how you're treated by people in this world and you're devaluing yourself by being remaining in this relationship when you're not getting what you want. If these are all the things that you want that you've stated, that you want a partner that you're going to live with and you want a family and you're like, I don't like the compare game. I don't care that your friends are getting married. Who gives a shit what your friends are doing? You have to figure out what you want and then get that. But also, don't lower your level of respect for yourself.

Those are the things you want and you're not getting them. You must walk out the door and go find somebody who's going to give them to you because somebody will happily be there for that. Yeah, I also think that when you're in these relationships, the thing that you keep going back for is the crumb that you really what you want is just the full fucking meal. And all they're doing is giving you a crumb to keep you along for a certain amount of time later until they realize they need to give you another crumb to keep you along. And it just sounds like you get stuck in that cycle that you can't really see the bigger picture. And then you're just addicted to that game. It's even the way she framed like he said I was his girlfriend. He started calling me his girlfriend. It's like that's also your decision. You're, why does he have to decide when your girlfriend or boyfriend? You're my boyfriend. You know, like the whole framing of this letter makes me think that you, what's her name? Stella.

Stella, you need to like actually spend some time alone and build up yourself worth. Yeah, value yourself. I want you to like respect yourself in a way that you aren't going to tolerate this behavior from anybody. Yeah. Any man. You don't need that at all, period. You want somebody who's obsessed with you, who's like excited to be with you. Not too obsessed.

I mean, honestly. healthy. How they obsessed. Do you have a, if you don't want to talk about this, you don't have to. Do you have a cute engagement story about how you got engaged? Was it romantic? Yeah, I think it, I mean, it was romantic in the sense that, I mean, one of the reasons I loved eternity reading that script is because I really think of my husband as a Larry, who will die in his 90s choking on pretzels. Like, my husband is incredibly neurotic, very uncomfortable all the time, always hasn't, something wrong with. his anything, like his coxics, his like his pinky. But he actually has things wrong with him. But they're always like this like 1% odd thing. And they have real diagnoses. But so he then like tells himself all the stories. And so when we got engaged, we went to this place in Northern

California in Inverness. And he was acting just in, he was just so annoyed there was like a cheeseboard. He asked for a cheeseboard. And we got there. And I was like, you've never cared this much about a cheeseboard before. And he was freaking out. It was. this place had a, had a wood-burning fireplace. It was massive. And he couldn't start a fire. And he was like, what kind of man doesn't know how to start a fire? Like, he was just so mean to himself trying to figure out how to get this fire going.

It's embarrassing if I had to ask someone to get a fire. And then it was like 30 minutes later he proposed when we were outside. But like he needed there to be a cheeseboaring fire going in order for it to feel romantic or something. But the way. And then also he, like, tried to go down on his knee, but we were on, oh, he's going to hate me saying this, but it's fine because he's charming. But we were on this wood dock. So he, like, goes down on his knee and he's like, oh, sorry, this really hurts. So it was just the two of us. Like, there's not a single photo. Like, it was just so lovely. I loved it so much just because it was him and all of his, like, yeah. Did you know you were going to marry him? Yeah, we talked about it. Like, I think it's crazy to not know if you're about to get engaged. I mean, how soon, how soon it is?

You know, like, what? Yeah, it's a very unexpected. It's so unexpected that I had to leave. But how long after you started dating him, did you know, did you know for sure you were going to marry? Like, was it quick that you knew? Yeah, we moved. Yeah. And I didn't know I'd even want to get married or have kids or anything like that.

But after a year of being together, I was actually renovating a house when we first started dating. And I sort of realized six months in that we'll probably move into this house together and wanted him to be a part of making choices so it didn't feel like my space and it felt like our space. And I think after living with each other for a very short period of time, it was, I mean, he's truly the most comfortable person to be around and the greatest support in my life. And he's so sweet and funny and clever and smart. It's very funny. And, yeah, his goal every day is to make me laugh, which is also annoying when I'm mad at him. But he does it very quickly and early in the morning.

And it's really annoying often. Oh, that's really sweet. Yeah, he's great. So I knew pretty early and we talked about it. Well, this is a nice way to end the podcast. Talking about a nice, healthy relationship and a nice, straight man in the world. Yes, he is. He's a really good person.

That's good for our listeners to hear about. And I'm glad thank you for sharing that with us. That's sweet. And I'm happy that you have such a good man. he's his sensitive kind very like communications everything yeah no that's very nice to hear i was just thinking about miles teller and in the movie and um calum calum calum his accent was good he did a great american accent yeah i was attracted to him in that movie i was rooting i was rooting for callum i was like this guy's hot i don't think i've ever seen him in anything i know who he is yeah but i was

like, yeah. Okay, Nicole Kidman. I mean, it's funny. It's nice to have two men in a movie and you'd be the center of attention. Like, I support that. I mean, they really wanted to get John Early to make them, like, they wanted to make John Early laugh the whole time. Like, so really didn't feel like they wanted my attention unless we were doing the

scenes. Oh, oh, oh, I see. They truly were just trying to entertain John Early the whole time. Got it. Yeah, John was really enjoying it. Well, he's in the movie too, everybody. It's called Eternity. It's out in theaters now. Go to the theater and see a movie, everybody.

Go to the movies. Thank you, Elizabeth Olson. Thanks for having me. Oh, it was such a pleasure. I really enjoyed this. So great having you. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.

I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear. Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. Thanksgiving isn't just about food. It's a day for us to show up for one another. It's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build. strength and love within each other. I'm Elia Connie, host of the podcast Family Therapy, a series where real families come together to heal and find hope.

I've always wanted us to have therapy, so this is such a beautiful opportunity. Listen to Season 2 of Family Therapy every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From tips for healthy living to the latest medical breakthroughs, WebMD's Health Discovered podcast keeps you up to date on today's most important health issues. Through in-depth conversations with experts from across the health care community, WebMD reveals how today's health news will impact your life tomorrow. It's not that people don't know that exercise is healthy,

it's just that people don't know why it's healthy, and we're struggling to try to help people help themselves and each other. Listen to WebMD Health Discovered on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. We were in the car, like a Rolling Stone came on. And he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted

is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened. These are just a few of the moving and important stories on my 13th season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know the shade is always Shadiest right here.

Season 6 of the podcast Reasonably Shady with Giselle Bryan and Robin Dixon is here dropping every Monday. As two of the founding members of the Real Housewives Potomac were giving you all the laughs, drama, and reality news you can handle. And you know we don't hold back. So come be reasonable or shady with us each and every Monday. Listen to Reasonably Shady from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Pointer, chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City.

I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you. A hundred percent of women go through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it? Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Pointer on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.