Dear Chelsea - The Future We Are Fighting For with Jane Fonda

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

The iconic Jane Fonda is in-studio with Chelsea today to talk about fighting for the future you want to see, why being resilient is key, and why she surrounds herself with good broads.  Then: A former sex worker struggles to find a man who won’t fetishize her.  A fresh divorce after a 4-month marriage makes a 20-something doubt her self worth.  And a dad mistakenly sends sexts to his daughter… that aren’t about her mom.   *  Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline.

Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. This January, join me for our third annual January Jumpstart series. Starting January 1st, we'll have inspiring conversations to give you a hand in kickstarting your personal growth. If you've been holding back or playing small, this is your all-access pass to step fully into the possibilities of the new year. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Hi. Well, I'm good, but I have some sad news to share. Bernice, we said goodbye to Bernice yesterday, so I want to make sure I make that announcement because I didn't make the announcement about Burt.

And I keep getting DMs about where the fuck is Burt. I'm like, Burt's dead. Anyway, Bernice is too now. So that was very sad. But she was really old and had a really, really beautiful life. And everyone loved her so much in Whistler this winter that she went out with a bang. She got so much attention. And everyone, I had a waiting list of people who wanted to spend the night with her the little kids in the

neighborhood kept coming to take her for the night it was so sweet I'm really glad you had like a few months to spend with her you weren't traveling like you're here and you know could be with yeah it was really nice and I had that was my exit plan with her to make sure she knew she was loved up. Yes. And she did. And so that was very sad. And I felt really bad for vets. You know, like they have to deal with people losing their dogs all the time. You know what? We actually had an email recently from someone who's a veterinarian who really like opened my eyes to like veterinarians have an extremely high suicide rate and a ton of depression because they're trying to do their best that they can. They're helping people transition their dogs to the Rainbow Bridge and all that. Is that where they're going to the Rainbow Bridge? Is that what they say,

crossing the Rainbow Bridge? That sounds like an ice cream flavor. I know. It's like something to make it feel a little bit better. But yeah, so veterinarians, we appreciate you for sure. And also Doug is here today to be my support animal. Yes. I brought him to the studio. He is so good looking. He really is. He is so good looking.

Chelsea, we had a lot of people screaming in their cars about Sarah, whose boyfriend last week could not get it up. I mean, people had some opinions and thoughts and ideas. Oh, great. Well, maybe someone knows what the fuck is wrong with men. I know. So, Sarah, I hope you're listening. This is what people had to say. So, Andrew wrote in and said, hey, I just thought I'd give a man's perspective, specifically a gay man's perspective.

I think Sarah should consider the fact that her partner may be gay. With all the talk of having such a great job and home, the fact that he's a bit overweight and seemed not to have dated many women, I was literally sitting in my car screaming at the radio, he's gay, he's gay, speaking partly from personal experience on that point. I just think that it's a possibility that should be explored at least. Lots of love from Florida. Lord help us, Andrew. So Andrew, I wonder if Andrew was tried to have sex with a girl and then couldn't get it up. I mean, if you're not attracted to women. There are gay men that have had sex with women or have. Or continue to.

Or can. Yeah, yeah. How does that work? I don't know. Truly, like a couple of my closest gay male friends who are like in their late 40s early 50s they're like oh yeah sometimes I have sex with a woman just like for for funsies I'm like what one of my friends put it this way he said sex with a man is like a lobster dinner but sex with a woman is like a steak dinner so you know what is better lobster oh lobster lobster is the McDonald's of the ocean what why does everyone think lobster is so great? I mean. It's fucking disgusting.

It is a bottom feeder. I mean, I love it, but you know what I mean? I don't understand why everyone thinks it's a delicacy. Is it a delicacy? Do you know back in like, I think it was like the 1800s, they used to exclusively. Yeah, I was there. I was there. What happened? They used to exclusively feed convicts lobster.

And they actually like brought suit against New York State saying this is cruel and unusual punishment. And now we consider it a total hell. Oh my god, that's a very nice tidbit. Yes. Keep up coming, Catherine. I like that little history, a little dose of history. I'm reading a lot of historical fiction. Oh, I'm reading a good book right now, speaking of which. It's called, it's by Mitch Albom,

the guy who wrote Tuesdays with Maury and he wrote some other book that I read. This one is called The Little Liar and it's about the Holocaust. But it's from the perspective of truth. So the character is truth, the main character. And it's very moving and it's a short book. It's like succinct chapters, which I like. And his use of language, it's very beautiful.

Yeah. He's very moving. I would recommend that to anyone. And it's not like a bummer book. I mean, it's about the Holocaust. So it's shocking, of course, every time you hear what happened to people. But it is for some reason, it's like there's a fairy tale aspect to it. So it's like fictionalized, but it's, you know, it's not. I love that. Well, we do have a couple other opinions on Sarah. Do you want to get into that? Oh, yeah, yeah. About the not getting it up. Yeah. OK, so okay. Option one, he could be gay. He could be gay. Option two is Lisa writes in,

I'm a pharmacist. And when I heard her say he's on medication for his blood pressure, I was yelling out loud, it's his medication. Oh, that sounds very, very possible. Yes. Many blood pressure medications can commonly cause ED, most specifically beta blockers and diuretics, but all antihypertensive drug classes can have this side effect. He needs to go to his doctor, even if he's opposed or embarrassed, and tell his provider what's going on. They can mix it up, try other agents. Oh, that's smart. Did you contact the girl that called in? Yes. And told her that? Okay, good. She said, I see it all the time. And did you tell her about him being gay too, possibly? For sure.

She said, I see it all the time. Men who stop taking their medications because it made them feel quote unquote weird when what they mean is they can't get it up anymore. Very common. Go to the doctor, Lisa. Great. And then our last comment is, I'm a formerly big guy myself and I can say that gravity is the issue if he's still overweight. The weight of the belly and or pannus, aka the fupa. Pannus? Pannus? Pannus. Is that like panna cotta? What is that? That is the area down here if you have like an overhanging

belly. Like a pussy gut. The fupa, yeah. Oh, fat upper pussy area. Yes, it is technically called a penis. I have sisters that are nurses. Have you ever heard the term cock awning? No, but I used the word cockles today. Cockles? What is cockles? Like the cockles of your heart. I don't know that.

I heard the term cock awning and I had to look away. I shuddered. I was like, I don't want to know what that is. In reference to what? To a man's belly. Oh, God. No, thank you. Ken says this is less an issue when he's laying on his back and he thinks that that's what's going on.

I had this issue. Wait a second. Yeah. So he needs a girl to get on top of him? Yeah, because she mentioned, she's like, it's fine when I'm on top. But when he tries to be on top, he can't keep it up. Oh, God, that sounds familiar. Yeah.

So Ken says, it's less an issue when laying on your back. I had this issue, and it's likely if he's a big boy as well, that's his issue too. He also might be in his head about feeling too heavy to be on top of her. So that might play into it as well. I love this. I love this. Okay. Thank you, everybody, for writing in. We love all bodies here, especially those with panaces.

Let's just never call it a cock awning. So I'm going to go with the medication. I choose option B. And I'm going to go with the medication is the problem. Okay. So, which is fixable. It's too bad straight men don't listen to this podcast because if they did, oh, you know what I really want to get on are couples or friends or family members that are having discord. Like if you have a friend you're having problems with and you want to get my advice or someone in your family and you, and the both of you are open to it or you're in a relationship.

Like, I like that. And that's an area where I can really help. Yeah. And it can be like serious disagreements or like fun disagreements. Like if you're like, please settle the score for us. Stop chewing gum when we're together. Yes. Because you don't know how to chew it. And I've been told that.

And I don't know how to chew gum, I would like to say. I am guilty. Well, Chelsea, we have an amazing guest today. Oh, yeah. She's a legend. She continues to lead the charge on the climate emergency with Fire Drill Fridays. The national movement to protest government inaction on climate change started in October 2019 in partnership with Greenpeace, as well as the Jane Fonda Climate Pack, which is focused on defeating political allies of the fossil fuel industry. She is an actor, an activist, and my dear friend, Jane Fonda. Okay, so I want to preface this interview

by telling a personal story about Jane. I've known Jane for many years, probably 15 years, I think, but I'm not really good with numbers. That's not my specialty. And we've had a lot of fun together, and we've had a lot of deep, meaningful conversations and a lot of laughter. And there was a time, and I wrote about this in my new book, which I'm going to send to you for your approval, Jane, which I think you'll be fine with. But Jane took me aside at a time in my life where I was not in a good spot. And she took the time to invite me over to her house. Well, it was more of a demand. It was more of like- Get your ass over here.

She's like, hey, are you free? I need to talk to you. I'm like, sure, when? She's like, how about tonight at six? I was like, oh, fuck. Am I in trouble with Jane Fonda? Because it felt like I may be. And I was in trouble. And I had behaved badly at her birthday party at her house months prior. And she took the time to sit down with me at her dinner table to tell me about my behavior and talk to me about it and ask me why and what and all of the things. And fortunately for me, I had just started therapy two months before that. But the thing that I took away from that dinner was sisterhood. Because

not everybody tells you when you piss them off. And not everybody takes the time to tell you when someone pisses you off. You know, some people you just blow off and you're just like, fine, fuck it. That's a loser. I don't want to talk to that person again. But Jane took the time to sit with me and tell me how I had messed up. And because of that moment, I have done that for so many people in my life. And I went to therapy. I continued to go to therapy. I brought it back to therapy to a person that Jane knew very well. She's like, you're in good hands. Go talk to him. And it was the definition of sisterhood. Well, I love you, Chelsea. I do. I didn't even know who you were. All I knew is one day, years and years ago, I was scrolling through TV channels

and I passed and then I went back. Who is this beautiful blonde chick that laughs at herself so much? That was when you were doing the show? I don't know. But you just laughed at yourself all the time. And I was smitten. And I just kept watching your show. And then I was on your show. And I just, I love you. And, you know, we've all gone off the track from time to time.

And people have brought me up short and talked to me. And I must say the book that you wrote, I guess this isn't the one you're going to give me again. The I must say the book that you wrote, I guess this isn't the one you're going to give me again. The last one you wrote where you wrote, it was like you recorded all your therapy sessions, but it was the most laugh out loud book that I have ever read. I just enjoyed it and loved it and loved that you were going through the therapy the way you were. And I have a feeling that it really helped you. Thank you. And thank you for your help, because that was helpful. And I think what I want to ask you is, you know, when I started out in this business, I felt that women weren't as there

for each other as we are now, as we know to be now. And I want to know what that was like for you when you started, the support that you felt from women. How was it? Who was it? I remember it absolutely vividly. And I can tell you that, see, I was married to a Frenchman, a French director. He directed Barbarella. He was married to Brigitte Bardot before me, and Catherine Deneuve. I mean, it was intense. He was great. And I was living with him because American soldiers who had been in Vietnam had fled Vietnam and were in Paris and they were looking for compatriots to help them find doctors and clothes. And anyway, I became friends with these guys and they told me about Vietnam and totally blew my mind and changed my mind about the war. And I came back here and joined the GI movement. Anti-war activists had created these

coffee houses outside of military bases where guys could come and learn about the history of Vietnam. Long story short, I'm in Killeen, Texas, outside of Fort Hood. The woman who ran the base, her name was Terry Davis. She was different than any female that I had met because up until then, pretty much we competed with each other. And I don't know, I just, I didn't have very many women friends. I grew up in the 40s and 50s thinking you become the way to grow up is to be a lone ranger to be like guys you know I can stand on my own don't need anybody and that's just the way and so I met this woman was running the coffee house and she treated me differently than I'd ever been treated before not like a celebrity or anything it was she looked me in than I'd ever been treated before. Not like a celebrity or anything. It was, she looked me in the eye. She wanted to know how I felt. Did I feel okay going onto the

base? Did I feel safe speaking at the rally? The way she treated the GIs, it was like looking through a keyhole at the future that we were fighting for. And being with her was like, I don't know, it was like getting into a warm bath. I felt safe. And I just thought, I want to be like her. And all the women in the movement that I kept meeting were, they were just new kinds of beings that I'd never met. And that of all the things that happened to me in the first years of my activism that was what affected me the most and made me realize i'm on the right track i want to become a person like them who is present and who who really has empathy for other women and men she was the the first person, she brought a feminist

into the coffee house to talk to GIs about the women's movement, which I thought was really gutsy and it affected all of us. I don't know, but it changed the whole way that I felt about women. And up until that point, for me, the women's movement was a waste of time. What are all these women talking about? All these things for the war is what matters. We got to end this. And it had a big effect on me. And now of course, it's women are in my life. I've closed up shop and Have you closed up shop? Is it a wrap? No, it's a wrap. What do you mean?

It is. One of the reasons is because, see, Chelsea, you'll understand this. I like young flesh. I like young skin. If I was going to have an affair now, it would be with somebody about 20 years old. But I don't want to subject any 20 year old to my skin. So I've closed up shop. I don't even think about it anymore. I feel like, yes, but I think that should be their decision. I feel like there would be some willing participants, a lot of them. And if they're willing to go for it, then what's, yeah. I mean, what's to stop anyone from giving each other pleasure? I'm too vain now. I'm 70, I'm 80. How old am I? I'm 86 and a half almost. I mean, you know,

it's just, it's over and I don't miss it at all. I only dream once a week about it. That's not enough to me. I have so much more time, you know, to do things. Well, you are busy doing things. And I think to go back to this woman conversation for a second, I think it's so interesting that we are raised, and it's still this way, in society as women, to think, okay, we're supposed to go out and we're supposed to find this Prince Charming and la, la, la, la, la, and this stupid fairy tale notion that is so, it's a charade, basically. You know, that doesn't exist. And you've been married three times, right? Three times.

Not more than that. And you've had multiple lovers. You've had multiple relationships. And one of the things that I admire about you is your ability to, I feel like you always knew there is no Prince Charming or one true love, that their life is about having many loves and having many different people in your lives, men and women alike. You know, whether it's a sexual relationship or not, there are soulmates that come in every form. So I guess, I mean, all of your marriages, I'm sure were very impactful on you, but what do you think the most meaningful relationship or one of the most meaningful and informative relationships

you've had is? All of them. And I did, I believed that this was going to be forever, every single time. This is it. This is the one. He's not at all like my dad. This is going to work. This will be great. Turns out they were all similar, even though they all looked different and acted different and had different socioeconomic places in the world. But they all shared one thing in common. They were incapable of showing up in an intimate relationship. And so was I. And so I unconsciously chose men who weren't going to say, come on, Fonda, come on, show up. I want you here right now. I was too scared. And so it was very convenient for all parties. And I really thought that they were all going to be the one.

And now when you think about that, do you think that you ever found the one? No. Sometimes I go back through my life trying to see, did the one show up? Did he enter my space? And I just got scared and fled. I think probably that happened. I don't know who it was, though, but I wouldn't have been able to do that. I think that I could probably now have that kind of relationship, but I don't want it anymore. Yeah, because now you know what your purpose is,

right? It was all about, I mean, I guess my kids are right. I am a narcissist. They think I am, and I guess I am. I'm not a, but there's, you know, it's like I'm on the spectrum of narcissism. Your activism outweighs your narcissism. Whether those two feed off of each other is a separate story. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money.

We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all, I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls, and I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be.

So a little bit of past, present and future all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It was something that you said in your book, which I loved because there's so many great things

in Jane Fonda's autobiography. But one of the things that always stuck out to me, you said that your father never brought home joy from his career. Right. That you never saw him be joyful about being an actor and portraying all of these characters. Do you get joy from acting? Yeah. Yeah, I do. And did you always? No, no. Before I sort of came full circle and became who I was meant to be, I didn't. But when I started having agency over my career, yeah,

I did. There's something truly glorious about being invited to enter another human being. Because to do it, you have to have empathy. So it's a career that builds up your empathy. And then kind of digging is like being an archaeologist also, finding out about this, who is this person and why are they there and all of that. It's just, I find great joy in it. And not that every day is great. Often you come home really, really tired and angry, but most of the time I really do get joy in it.

But see, my dad suffered as a lot of dads did in that era. And he came from Nebraska and people didn't ask for help. Guys still don't. I think it's why they don't live as long as we do. Five years less on average used to be more. He never, he suffered from undiagnosed depression. You know, I mean, if he'd taken Prozac, our lives would have been totally different, but I've worked on the depression. So I'm, I'm, you know, I think I'm the first person in my family who's not depressed.

Well, what was your pivotal moment in your life where you were able to actually tackle your issues and your emotions and all of that? I don't think it goes like that. I think it's a process that happens. You know, it's like you'll realize something. Like I realized something when I met these women that were different than other women I'd ever met in 1970 when I became an activist. And so it's like a realization, like a bee kind of humming around. But it doesn't ever kind of like you don't change, but you've learned something. Then you

enter something else and you change. I learned something all the time. I'm always, that's one of my superpowers that I'm, I may be narcissistic but i'm also really really curious i i'm very interested in people and so i just learn all the time and then gradually the learning builds up and you realize oh i'm different you know a little bit of therapy the meditation the different husbands that i learned each from each them. I think, though, that I learned the most from my women friends. I make a point of having women friends that are smarter, braver, more strategic, and this is important, younger. See, when I die, I want to have friends that are still alive that can speak at my memorial, put it that way.

That can eulogize you? Yeah. And be at my bedside and give me hope. And I don't know. I don't know. I just, I want love around me when I die. When you're my age, Chelsea, you think a lot about dying. And not that we can know when it's going to happen, but it's good to envision how you want it to be because then between now and then you have to earn it. You know, if I want to have women friends holding my hand when I die, I've got to earn their friendship. And by the way, you know who I'm becoming friends with, who I just adore, is your friend Connie Britton. Oh, yeah.

Best. She's a good broad. Yeah. Yeah. We've been to your house together before, Connie. I know. I remember when I had one of my joints replaced. I'm almost finished.

Almost all my major joints have now been replaced. You were there for one of my hips. I was. We came over and Connie told you some story. I can't remember what it was, but it was like, we left there and she goes, why did I tell Jane that story? And I'm like, actually, I don't know. It was about someone, her father not liking you

or not approving of your protesting of the Vietnam War. And she was like, yeah, my dad hated you. And we're like, she goes, why did I say that to Jane Fonda? I'm like, I don't know. Why did you say that? Say that to me all the time. Yeah, yeah.

First of all, what do you think happens when you die? What do you believe? I am not sure. Part of me knows that nothing happens, that we exist as a memory, but that's energy. We exist as an energy. I guess that's what I think about it. But, you know, I have gone to channelers who have brought me messages from my father and mother, and they've meant a lot to me. So I don't know. When you look back at your life, like, what are your proudest moments? There's no moment. What I'm proud of is that I've made something of myself, that I made something of my life. You know, I floundered for so long and toyed with suicide and all of that because there's been suicide all around me in my life.

And as I said, everybody's so depressed in my family, but I'm resilient and I'm proud that I didn't succumb to any of the depressions and that I've learned and grown in my life. That's what I'm most proud of. Yeah. I think resiliency is the key ingredient as women. I feel like we have it in droves and we don't know we have it until we need it the most. That's right. It's the most wonderful, mysterious thing. I really can't figure out this thing about resilience, Chelsea. My brother was two years younger than me. We both came from the same mother and father, two years apart. That's not a lot, same more or less historical moment in time. And I was resilient and he wasn't. And why? Who knows? My therapist used to say she thinks that it's, you come into life with it.

Either you have it or you don't. And she can tell right away when a patient walks in if they have resilience or not. And for me, what resilience is like, you know, it's like when I was young, you know, it was not a happy household and my dad was always away and my mother suffered from mental health issues. And this is how I describe it now. It's like I was always scanning the horizon like an infrared laser beam and any warm human body that could possibly love me or teach me something I would glom onto.

And it was always the mothers of my girlfriends. And I learned from those mothers. Someone who lacks resilience can be surrounded by love and they can't metabolize it. They can't take it in and own it. I don't know if you can be born without resilience and then learn to become. I don't think so. I think you either have it or you don't. Are you resilient? I think you are. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm resilient. And we were talking about this last night at my dinner, actually, with my three girlfriends. I like to go around the table and say like, okay, let's all say something we're grateful for that's not sitting right here. Let's remind ourselves.

And after everyone said their thing, I said, okay, this is to resilience. That's our toast tonight. So I think that I do believe you can cultivate resilience because I don't think you know you're resilient until something bad happens and you bounce back and pick yourself up. And then when it happens repeatedly, you get stronger and stronger at knowing that you can get through something, that it's not the end of you, that it doesn't have to lay you out. And even if you get laid out, you get back up. So I do think you can cultivate it to a degree. I wonder what you would say about when you are in this moment in your life, present day, when things are overwhelming,

and they're so stressful, and things aren't going your way, like what is your tool to coping and to breathing and getting yourself like regulating? Activism is what does it for me. It's when I know that I'm doing everything in my power to, and right now the focus is the climate crisis because that's existential. I mean, everything I care about in the world is going to fall apart if we don't address the climate crisis. And so if I was going to splinter and fracture and go down a rabbit hole, it would be around that issue of the climate crisis. And I'm doing everything in my human power about it. It keeps me stable and feet on the ground.

Yeah. And you are doing everything. She does Fire Drill Fridays in DC all the time. She's constantly getting arrested. And you're always, yes. And you're, I'm going to see you for your next event. I'm finally going to be in town. I'm coming home for it. I will be there with bells on. But your activism, it's just so inspiring for all of us. I mean, you're a legend and everything you do, I know when you're doing something and you're behind something that it's the right thing to be behind. And obviously the climate is, you know, the most obvious thing to get behind. But your indefatigable attitude has an impact on all of us because we all talk about it. That's the value of being famous. And it's the value of me

having seven years as Grace and Frankie. I can tell you that activism prior to Grace and Frankie was not as easy. When you have a hit series behind your back, it becomes a lot easier. But prior to Fire Drilled Fridays, I was still, I was an activist, but it was intermittent. And I knew I wasn't really using my platform. And I realized when I started to really step it up, that when you're famous, you know, other people say, well, God, if she can do it, I can do it. I turned 82 in jail. And that was very important because people thought, oh, my God. You know, I heard recently, it made me really think about things.

I had a friend who had a husband who did not like me, very anti-Hanoi Jane and pro-war. But when I went to Vietnam, this guy said to his son, God, if Jane Fonda is going over there, there must be something really wrong. And that really struck me because, you know, we can't really change what needs to be changed as individuals, but still as individuals, we can make people think twice and think about joining us. And I like that idea of God, if she's doing it, there must be something really wrong because she doesn't have to be doing that. That's if she's doing it, there must be something really wrong because she doesn't have to be doing that. That's why it's so important what we do, you know?

And the other thing that's so great is that I meet people I normally never would have met that are so great and I can carry them with me in my heart as I go forward, you know, and especially young indigenous women. Oh my God, they're so fierce and they have such an interesting sense of humor and brave. And I am just so surrounded by people who are so brave and have nothing, nothing. And they just stand up and fight. It's just so moving and important.

It's so true when you say that, you know, people say that they throw that brave word around and, and I hear that a lot. And, and I'm like, you don't, that's, this isn't brave. This is being your true to your personality. Bravery is that, you know, is when you have nothing and you're able to stand up and you're able to go and fight for something you believe in when you have everything to lose. That's bravery. Have you ever seen like a movie or a documentary about people who have really stood up and been brave? Right now, the next six years of

this decade, this is our documentary moment. And the question is, will we step up and be as brave as the people in the past who have made a real difference in human history? This is our documentary moment. Don't you think about, I mean, I'm sure you've spoken to Al Gore, but what he did was brave, you know, bringing that to our attention, thinking, oh my God, I'm going to tell everybody what's going to happen. I'm going to tell everybody what's about to happen. He went and did the work and did the research only to be ignored. It's unimaginable what he did, you know, and him looking back at that time, that could have been the turning point for our whole world. And yet we denied it. We turned into climate deniers, not we, but, you know, Republicans. But then what does he do? See, he doesn't give up. He then switches tactics. OK, it doesn't work to just give people the information.

So I'm going to train people to become organizers around climate. And he's trained 80,000 or more people all around the world. He just shifted strategies. You know, in the beginning we thought, holy shit, we heard what the science was saying. We thought if we tell elected officials what the science is saying, they're gonna say, holy shit, and they're gonna start doing something. And then we discovered that wasn't true.

Why? Because they take money from the fossil fuel industry. And so we have to do it differently. We have to, you know, that's why I started the Jane Fonda Climate Pack, because we have to change the people in Congress. So when they hear the science, they're going to want to do something. And then we have to get unprecedented numbers of people outside protesting and then change. If you can't change the people, change the people. We're changing the people. And so we'll get it from both ends, right? Outside and inside.

Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going to be right back. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around.

On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year.

It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls, and I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart Series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't

reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. It's a little bit of past, present and future all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Jane Fonda. So Jane, this podcast, it's called Dear Chelsea,

so we give advice to actual real people. And I really couldn't deny anyone getting advice from you because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. So, Catherine, what do we have in store? Oh, we have some juicy things in store, Chelsea. Jane, are you ready? Yeah. Are you ready for this? I wake up ready. I need some advice from you in regards to navigating relating to guys and how they see you. I'm a full-time single mom and ex-exotic dancer, now a business owner of a lap dance class studio

and a part-time college student with not much support system. It's been quite challenging meeting men who are secure enough not to judge me on my ex-stripper past and my current business owner context. I either get dumbed down, fetishized, or treated like I'm a whore when I haven't even been sexually active in over six years. I'd love to change that, and I don't believe there's anything wrong with being any kind of sex worker either. I'm very optimistic, goal-oriented, and I've overcome a lot on my own, so I'd like to continue to find ways to overcome these obstacles. But girl, I'm tired. Help. Jen. Well, she's absolutely right that sex work should not be looked at pejoratively.

Women do it when they have to do it. I've never gone on one, but I think dating apps might be a good solution. Clearly, the circle that she's in is not the circle that she's looking for. So she's got to get out of her circle and meet new people. She can either go to AA, I don't know what her situation is, but how do you meet new people? Nowadays, dating apps, it wasn't in existence when I was young, but that's what I would do to meet new kinds of people. What do you think, Chels? I would say, yes, of course, do dating apps, do whatever you want to do to find a man. But I would also say, double down on your confidence

in your job and what you're doing. And you don't have to explain to men anything about it. Like, if they don't get it, then great, they're out and you're closer to finding the person that does understand. Because there are men out there that are sophisticated enough to understand what sex work actually means, and that it isn't something to be ridiculed or to be judged, that it's actually a way that a lot of people make a living by choice, and that should be respected. So I would never try to appeal to a man because you want them to, like, that's their own problem. That's not your problem. Nothing you're doing is wrong. And it's a great way to weed out people that don't get it. Just don't give up. Like, you're going to find a guy that's going to get it. There's millions of men

out there, you know? So just, I don't like changing our story to appeal to men. I don't like women to think that, and I don't like to act like that. So I would say stick to your guns and have honor in what you do and be proud. We're all big kids now. Like this isn't something that should be so shameful that she has to hide or feel bad about. You should feel proud of what you're doing and proud of your accomplishments. And any guy worth his salt is going to understand that and fuck all of the rest. Like, I know it's easier. And yeah, get on all the dating apps, you know. But I don't know.

I don't have a problem with that. And I have a bigger problem with pretending. Great. Well, our next caller, Sabrina, says, Dear Chelsea, My mom doesn't text and she doesn't even really use a cell phone. A couple of years ago, my dad sent me a non-photo sext message on accident, obviously not meant for my mother. I lit into him, but ultimately forgave him after a few months and kept his little indiscretion between the two of us. He had his own justifications and

apologies, and I just eventually let it go. Then the other night, my dad and I were texting, and he sent me yet another message. It was not quite a sext, but it was pretty risque, and yet again, obviously not for my mom. He and my mom have been married for 40 plus years, and I don't know what to do. Do I tell her? Do I tell my brother? Do I keep this to myself? I already expressed my anger and disappointment to my dad, and I've asked him to no longer text me ever. I feel numb and just do not know what to do. I don't think I have the capacity to forgive this again. Sabrina. Hi, Sabrina. Hi, how are you? Hi, you're so lucky. Guess who our guest today is Jane Fonda. I am absolutely in awe. I cannot believe it. Well, this is a conundrum. Something similar happened to me, but it wasn't between mother

and father. But do you have any idea whether your mother is happy in the marriage? They've been married over 40 years. It seems to me to be a very business sort of marriage. They married at the time when they each had something they were seeking. And I don't know if that's still what they're seeking. Yeah. What I would do is have a conversation with your mother, but just make it very casual, but try to find out how she feels about the marriage. I mean, if you get a sense that being in the marriage is her foundation, that it is absolutely essential to her being able to get along in life, then I wouldn't tell her. If she's ever considered killing him, if she's ever considered. No, I always knew that my marriages were about to end because I would fantasize about his funeral. Oh, wow.

And maybe she does that. But if she's kind of thought, God, I'd kind of like to be alone now, then maybe she should know that his head is somewhere else. I mean, the primary concern, I think, is for her. Yes. After 45 years, if she is totally dependent on him and would be completely unhappy and adrift, if he wasn't there, then I wouldn't tell her and just let it continue. Why rock the boat after 45 years? But if she's not and she's just there because that's life, then why not help her to understand that he's not? It's interesting to me, you said you told him, don't send these to me anymore.

Did he send them to you on purpose or was it an accident? It seemed to be an accident. We were in the middle of texting and I just got a message through that was clearly meant for someone else. And does he think, sorry, you said your mom doesn't text, so you know that it's not directed towards her, right? Is that, oh, okay. Yeah, she doesn't, she has a flip phone for emergencies that she keeps in the car. She doesn't text at all. Yeah, I can conjecture that your mother probably doesn't give a shit what he's up to. You know what I mean? If they've been married that long and he's up to that, she's probably slightly checked out. So I agree with Jane completely, like get the temperature. And then I always want to show up for women,

always mothers, daughters, sisters, any woman, I want them to know the truth and then make their own decision. I don't ever want to make a decision for, and I think that's the trouble with men is that they, they think they can make our decisions for us by not being honest and upfront. It's like, okay, you want to have sex with other women. Great. Tell me. And then if I decide I'm okay with that, then I'm okay with that, but you don't get to make the decision for me. So I would get the temperature and then I would always err on the side of being truthful, unless you think your mom is in a position that she just can't bear to hear it or handle it. No, I definitely think she's strong. She's the fiery one. So she's definitely like the louder out of the two.

Right. Chelsea, you'll use the word checked out. Do you think she's definitely like the louder out of the two. Right. Chelsea, you use the word checked out. Do you think she's checked out? I think she's exasperated. They're at the point where she vents a lot to me about things that he does that irritate her day to day things. They both live together and work together. So they are together all the time. And I can see the strain. And what can you can you share what the text message was? The first text message, it was it was not a photo, but it was a sexual message. It was what my dad would like to do to someone as they're watching the sunset, basically, which was just delightful to receive, as you can imagine. And then the next one was more him calling someone babe and saying,

I'm really enjoying my time with you, babe, and this and that, babe. And I was like, oh, no, now he's that guy. My dad's that guy. Yeah. And actively having an affair, it sounds like. Yeah. I think you have to go to your mom. You're her daughter. Yeah. She's very much an act first type of mom, which was sort of my hesitation with, but I hate keeping it from her. We're so close. Yeah. And you're not your father's secret keeper.

Like you don't owe him anything. He fucked up not once, but twice. So, you know, like all bets are off. Maybe one time you could be like, okay, I'll look away, but not twice. Like how many times is he going to do, you know, that's just icky because now you're involved in this. And if she is venting to you about her feelings and her dissatisfactions and stuff, then that shows you right there that I thought maybe she was a sort of a meek housewife that, you know, wouldn't be able to tolerate not being able to be with a guy. You know, some women just have to be with a guy no matter what. How old is she? She's 77.

She's 10 years younger than me. Has she ever had another relationship, do you think? No, not as far as I know. I mean, Jane, is that something you think you would want to know if you were that age, married to someone for that long? I would have wanted to know. Yeah. But I know there's some women that wouldn't, but I would have wanted to know. And when you said that she's, you described her, it sounds like she's somebody who probably would want to know. I think she definitely would. Yeah. Is there a way that you'd advise to broach that topic with her? I know we have to have a conversation coming up because there's a holiday coming up that

my parents want to visit for, and I'm uncomfortable being around my dad. I think if I just start by telling her I'm not comfortable being around him, that would open the door. Yeah. I think that's right. I think you should do that. Yeah. Because listen, you would want someone to do that for you, wouldn't you? Absolutely. Yes. I would want to know. Yeah. And so what, she's 77. That's not a way to judge the situation. That's like discounting someone because of their age is not right either. Oh, they've been married 45 years. Who cares? That's not the right way to look at it. That's not how you're looking at it. But I'm sure a lot of our listeners are going, what's the point? It's like, what do you mean? No, every person-

77, she could go on and be happy. Yeah. Jane just closed shop up at 86. She's closing shop up. And yeah, so she has another nine good years left of business. No, I actually, 10 years ago, it's been 10 years. I was her mother's age when I decided that's it well maybe she'll maybe she'll follow suit she'll close shop up as soon yeah I mean I would encourage you to maybe see if there's a way that your mom could just come and visit you by herself and so you guys can have some some time alone without dad and and uh talk to her then yeah

that's a good idea well okay report back keep in touch and let us know how that goes okay we'll do okay thank you so much for calling in serena we'll have you in our hearts thank you so much take care what a shitty feeling to be have that burden you know like you have to break some bad news to your own parent i know that rough. I wonder if the dad is kind of just being creepy on the internet and accidentally texted, but like, no, this is really like a relationship situation that's happening. Yeah, but why does he keep accidentally texting his daughter? Like, what's wrong with him? Good question. Good question. He should be offline too, like his wife. Yeah. Maybe she should just get him a flip phone. All right. Well, our next caller is Aubrey. She is 29.

Dear Chelsea, after seven years together and just four months of marriage, my husband came to me asking for a divorce. We've had financial issues for a while, but I thought we still had the love. He'd recently started to grow silently resentful of our situation and in the process says he fell out of love with me. He says that he had the foresight to end things before children were involved or before we lost any more time to a loveless marriage. He says he still genuinely cares for me, which makes this very hard. It's not an angry and loud situation. It's civil and just very sad. So I made a scary decision to get an apartment on my own. He thinks we'll be friends one day because we get along so well and are such great communicators.

Whether that's true or not, right now I need distance from him so I can fall out of love. I'm looking for advice on how to be okay and how to move on. I've never lived on my own before, and I haven't been single since I met him in college when I was 21. Additionally, our spark fizzled and he grew less attracted to me and I just don't feel the least bit sexy or desirable anymore. I'm about to turn 29 and I know I have so much ahead. How do I come into my own as my own independent woman? Thanks, Aubrey. Hi, Aubrey. Hi. Hi. Say hello to Jane Fonda. Hi, Aubrey. Hi, Chelsea and Jane. It's so nice to meet both of you. Well, Jane has been married three times.

This is happening. This is happening at the right time. This is good. You're young. It's good to get the first one like this out of the way. You've been married, what, four years, you said? Four months, together seven years. Four months, yeah.

Well, it's too bad it didn't happen before the marriage, but no big deal. I mean, I think you got lucky. Yeah. I have to say, like, be grateful. Yeah. I know it's hard to find gratitude in the dark sometimes because you might feel like you're in the dark. You're young. You're lovely.

You have your whole future ahead of you. Thank God you didn't waste another minute with this guy. And thank God he was honest enough with you than staying in a marriage that wasn't going to be fruitful for him. And because it was the right thing to do, you're going to want to thank him in a few years. And you're not there yet. I understand that you feel rejected and all of these things and you were led down the wrong road. But this guy is being really honest with you about his feelings. And that's something to be grateful for. You know

the truth. You know you're not going to be together. You're going to recover. You're going to be fine. And you're young. And you're going to find somebody who does value you and adores and loves you. And you just have to work through this pain. And you have to, you know, talk to a therapist, obviously, do you have a therapist? Yeah, I have been talking to a therapist, actually, since the week everything really was going down. My biggest thing is, like, I've never been okay being single. And I think that was like, that was the scariest thing. I'm like, I'm gonna be living on my own and just be single. I want to be okay being single. I want to I want to love that period. I don't want to be seeking someone anytime soon. I want to

just focus on me and be happy with that. So I guess you're always someone that's, no matter what state you're in, you always just come off as so strong. Get into yourself, lean into yourself and get to know yourself. Like Jane's been divorced three times and I would, Jane, wouldn't you say every time you got divorced, you knew yourself better and you got closer to who you really are? Right, but it takes time. The first thing you have to do is really figure out the role you played in this. He calls it a loveless marriage. Did you see it as a loveless marriage?

I didn't, but in just a couple weeks, just hindsight is definitely seeing things. Yeah. I mean, three marriages, they each ended slightly differently. But I always have to try to understand what was my role in the fact that it didn't work so that I don't repeat it. I did repeat it. I'm a slow learner in many ways. But that's the main thing for you is you're going to go on in life and you want to know what changes do you need to make in the way you approach relationships and the way you do relationships that led this one to not work. I mean, it's great you married somebody who is as forthright as he is. I agree with Chelsea. I mean, I think it's, I love the fact that he was able to say this. And that's almost what's made it so hard is that, you know, he is such a good person,

but knowing that he has saved us from a future, if we had kids right now, I mean, I can't imagine how much messier it would be. So, you know, it's sad, but it's not as messy. Do you have any issues with alcohol or drugs or food? No, I'm actually in a pretty good place with that right now, but it's funny you ask because that was actually a big jumping point for this. He had stopped drinking back around the holidays. I stopped a little behind him, but to support him, not for the same reasons he was. And that definitely was a component. We didn't have the issues with drinking, but it was playing a factor of just kind of numbing things that maybe we weren't talking about. So when it

was really just raw, I think is when he really had that time. So how you're saying I'm going to be thanking him in a couple of years. I think that was something he didn't want to say, but was hinting at and is painful to hear, but I'm only a couple of weeks out and already kind of feeling like, yeah, he, it was a hard, but really good thing. Yeah. I bet that you guys are going to remain friends for a long time Yeah, and you know, this is a huge opportunity for you like it being heartbroken in this way and being kind of Blindsided so to speak in this way Is a great opportunity for you to really like get to know who you are Now you get this time with yourself, which you've already elucidated like Like you've already said, I'm looking forward to being this single person. And strength comes from knowing who you are. That's where you get strength

from, from really finding out. And when you're with somebody for seven years, anyone will say that you lose a little bit of yourself when you're kind of in that relationship, right? You start to operate as a couple and a pair rather than so independent. And so when you have this time, it's the most valuable time we ever get is the time that we sit and go, okay, I'm going to lean into me. I'm going to read as many books as possible. I'm going to meditate. I'm going to like, you know, go to therapy and get clean. Like I want a clean slate so that I'm going into the next love relationship that I have as the best version of myself. Because as we get older, we're just getting better and better and better at being who we are. And like you have this whole clean slate that just kind of fell into your lap that you didn't ask for, but now it's yours. And you're just going to grab it. Like you grab a bull by its horns and be like, all right, I'm fucking ready. Let's go. I'm ready to find out who I really am and what I have in store for me because your whole life is ahead of you.

So you are going to be grateful to him. You're going to be thanking him and you probably will be friends with him. And those are all beautiful things. Well said. Yeah. I totally agree with that. Yeah. I'm excited for you. Yeah. And you said you have a hard time being alone. Is that like, I always had a hard time if there wasn't an alpha male in my life. And for years, I always had a guy in my life. Now I have girls in my life. Do you have a lot of girlfriends? It's something I've been working on. And it was something even before this happened, I was aware of like planning a wedding, It was really evident how few female friendships I had. So definitely working on making that a priority myself first and that next. I'm not looking for any kind of love relationship anytime soon. So definitely

looking for some girls. Yeah. Because girlfriends, if they're good girlfriends, they can also help you learn about yourself and you can learn from them. Yeah. And it's also another great way to know about yourself and learn about yourself is to learn about what kind of friend you can be, right? You know, when you're in a relationship and you say you didn't have a lot of friends, like that doesn't feel right for me. You know, as a woman, you need women around you. You need to be helping them and they need to be there for you. And that reciprocity will give you so much more than so many love relationships provide when you're not with the

right partner. So yeah, your future is bright and be optimistic and just get into your groove and enjoy your singledom because it will not last forever. You will meet someone, you will fall in love again, and you'll look back at this time and be like, Oh my God, that was so much fun. Yeah. Is there a daily affirmation that we can send Aubrey away with to help rebuild confidence? And yeah, get after it, girl. Wake up every morning and look in the mirror and be like, get after it, girl. Let's go. Yeah, I love that. Thank you. You're so welcome. You're so welcome. And have the best time. Thank you. Yes. Check in with us in a few months. Okay, Aubrey? I will. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. You know what this reminded me of, Jane? I don't know

if it was Ted Turner's book or your book. You tell me. When the breakup on the plane, when you guys, when he flew you to Atlanta or he was dropping you off, right? And he was picking up his girlfriend. Was that what happened? I went from his private plane to get in my car, rented car to drive it to my daughter's house because I was now a single woman after a long, long time. And I saw her leaving the hangar and going to, I knew she'd be sitting in my still warm seat. I knew who she was. And it was really, really painful. Yeah. And if you can get through something like that, I think, you know, you can get through anything because that is heart-wrenching. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll wrap up with one more quick question. Great.

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How To Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon.

Listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around.

On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all.

I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. And I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be

and who we can be. So a little bit of past, present, and future, all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Jane Fonda.

Okay, what's our last question, Catherine? This has been awesome. I didn't know that you're like Dear Abby. Is this always what you do? Yeah, well, you know why I got so much out of my sessions with Dan Siegel? I was like, I got to spread the love around. I was like, oh, I know all this answers

to all this shit now. Let's do it. I started it as a kind of a joke, but it got pretty serious quickly. So I'm just going with it. It sure did. Well, our last question comes from Misty. Dear Chelsea, bottom line first, my friend Jane is a loyal, good person who would do anything for her friends. We're both retired in our late 60s and very active with hiking, biking, and essentially any outdoor activity. She visits me once or twice a year for about two weeks. Jane has always been a talker. Literally on a 10-mile hike, she can talk the entire time. But lately, her dissertations are over the top about her life dramas, her family, her neighbors, and most prominently, her health history. When Jane talks about her health, she goes into excruciating details that have anyone with us rolling their eyes.

I'm having a very difficult time listening to the dramas over and over again. I feel like the only conversations we can have are the senior citizen fixations on illness, medications, etc. You may not have experienced this yet, Chelsea, but just hang around 70-plus- plus year olds for a while. There seems to be nothing else to talk about. I feel like I only have two options to deal with this situation. One, tell Jane she has to stop this obsessiveness on herself. Two, just suck it up and tune it out as I usually do, as Jane's visits are only a couple of weeks a year. And the third option I won't do is to totally diss her as a friend. I just can't do that. Although if I chose option one, she may never speak to me again. Maybe the problem is me. Am I disingenuous and should listen and offer support if I claim to be a real friend? Misty.

I want to go first on this, Jane. I want to just say, suck it up and be a friend. Your friend is in her 70s and going through a time. And what a real friend is, is somebody who's there when they don't feel like being there. And they listen to stories that they may not be interested in. And that's part of being a friend. It's not always what you want to do or what you want to talk about. It's about showing up for other women. And you have a history with this person. And I think just suck it up and be there and actually try to listen better instead of tuning it out. Listen better because maybe she's repeating herself because she's not getting any feedback from you because you are tuning her

out. But I would say to think about the value of female friendship and show up. Jane, what do you think? Well, I don't entirely agree with you, Chelsea. I think if she's really your friend, that you should find a loving way of making her aware that being with her is a constant flow of her talking about herself and that you love her. And so you want to hear about what she has to say, but that it's becoming so one-sided and that you would like to, I don't know, maybe you could help her find other things of interest in her life. So it's not just, I mean, you know, I'm 10 years older than she is. I'm also Jane.

I also have health issues, but I have other things in my life. So I don't just, when I get together with old people, we do talk about who has the most joints replaced and who's been, you know, I mean, we do talk about it. It's kind of fun to see how much you have in common, but it can't be the only thing you talk about. I mean, my friends tell me I want to be Chelsea's friend. So I'll tell Chelsea if I think that the behavior has

been problematic. And people certainly tell me when they think my behavior has been, and they're still my friends. That's what I want them for is because they'll tell me the truth. So if you really want to be a friend, then I think you should tell her in a loving way, not break off your friendship, but just try to work together with her, both of you, to make her realize the impact she has on you as her friend who wants to love her. But it's becoming hard. You never ask me about me. Don't you care anything about me?

You know, I mean, it's got to be a give and take. And I just, I think you can do that in a loving way that will make her understand. I mean, maybe you know, maybe you don't know. It would be interesting to know. Does she drive a lot of her friends away? Do other friends of her have the same problem that you're asking Chelsea about? Maybe nobody has taken the time or loved her enough to be able to say, wait a minute now, this is becoming a problem. So let's deal with it. You're such a wonderful friend and interesting person, but this is what's happening. So let's fix it. I mean, if you're hiking with her and friends of yours are rolling their eyes, then it's not just you. Yeah, but don't you think sometimes younger people don't understand what older people are going through?

There's obviously an age disparity. Yeah, and older people don't understand how boring they can get when all they talk about is their health and their life. You know what I mean? It's like if she wants to maintain her friendship, somebody's got to say, Hey, wait a minute. I love you. And I want to be able to be with you when it's not just all about your ills and aches and pains. I was on a chairlift the other day and I have my, I'm like talking about my hip and my friends talking about her knee and my other friend. I go, guys, just let's stop. We're all young. Let's's I mean, we're all in our, you know,

about to turn 50 next year. But I'm like, this is not what I want to be talking about. But I would only say that to someone my own age, like I want to show deference to people that are older and give them the respect of listening. I try to make a joke out of it. I mean, I love talking about my aches and pains, and with other people talking about their aches and pains with me. But then we have to make a joke about it and laugh at ourselves and just make it easier for younger people to say, yeah, you guys, come on. Yeah. I do like joking about it and saying like, well, I guess we can't only talk about our aches and pains. What good things are going on in life right now? And kind of gently redirect. That'll send us right back to talking about our aches and pains. What good things are happening?

I mean, what a shithole we live in right now. God. There's the climate. That's always a pick me up. Jane Fonda, I love you. I adore you. I'm going to see you in a couple of weeks. I can't wait. Thank you so much for your time today. Thank you for everything you've done. Thank you for being a beacon of light and a role model for all of us younger girls. Thank you very much, Chelsea. You're younger than my children. I just want you to know. And I love that. I don't feel older than you, but that's okay. I love you too, Chelsea. And I want to be one of your girlfriends. I don't have enough humor, I don't think, to be your girlfriend.

Yes, you do. You have plenty of humor. You are one of my girlfriends. I just am never in LA, but I will see you soon. And we will re-cement our bond. With Connie, maybe. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I'll text Connie right now. Make sure she's coming too. Yeah. She's not going to be here for a while. She's working with De Niro in New York. Oh, yeah, she's pretending to be an actress. I told her nobody buys her acting, so hopefully she'll just give that up soon.

Oh, God. She's so good. I know, she is good. Yeah, I know you. She is good. I love you. I'll see you soon. Okay.

Bye, Jane. Bye. Okay, guys. So for stand-up, we added a second show in Sydney and we added a second show in Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now going to be May 24th. We added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is so fun. I performed there last year.

That's August 17th, the Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a second show at Santa Rosa on August 2nd. And we added two dates in Hawaii, guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July 19th to Kahului. I'm going to be at Kahului. And then I'm coming on July 20th to Honolulu. And, oh, I just added another date on August 1st, Auburn, Washington. So and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up. And I will be announcing a European tour

shortly. So I will be coming there. And I'm coming to Oklahoma. I have two dates in Oklahoma. May 3rd, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma. And May 4th, I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma. So Oklahomians, Oklahomans, Oglohomes, come. Bye. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you

make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon,

listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline. Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. we'll have inspiring conversations to give you a hand in kick-starting your personal growth. If you've been holding back or playing small, this is your all-access pass to step fully into the possibilities of the new year. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.