Dear Chelsea - The Hunting Wives with Malin Akerman

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

Malin Akerman is here to talk about the power of women, why you’ll never win an argument with a narcissist, and why much-younger men make surprisingly great husbands. Then: A 20-something can’t stomach her influencer friend’s lifestyle. A sister wonders how to stay in touch when she makes a cross-country move.  And a dad struggles to deal with his kid’s mom - especially when she tells lies about him.  * Want to help families impacted by ICE?  Follow the links below: Immigrant Defenders Law Center Jail Support LA UnionDelBarrio.org chirla.org buen-vecino.org 805undocufund.org mixteco.org * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. The Girlfriends is back with a new season, and this time I'm telling you the story of Kelly Harnett. Kelly spent over a decade in prison for a murder she says she didn't commit. As she fought for her freedom, she taught herself the law. He goes, oh God, Harnett, jailhouse lawyer. And became a beacon of hope for the women locked up alongside her. You're supposed to have faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her. I think I was put here to save souls by getting people out of prison.

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will make you laugh, cry and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join iHeartRadio and Sarah Spain in celebrating the one year anniversary of iHeart Women's Sports. With powerful interviews and insider analysis, our shows have connected fans

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and search I Heart Women's Sports to listen now. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the turning, River Road. In the woods of my life what that meant. For My Heart podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse.

But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to The Turning, River Road on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Catherine. It's Thursday. Hi, Chelsea. It's Thursday and I'm in Los Angeles. I'm so happy to have you here, finally. I know. Doug has a mountain man here too now. I told Felix, I was like, listen, you have to take him to the mountains every morning. So he picks him up and he takes him to Los Montañas. But it's so sad, the dirt. He sends me videos of Doug and it's so sad, the dirt. Like, he sends me videos of Doug, and it's just dirt. White, gray dirt.

He went from Whistler, where it's verdant and green and beautiful. And snowy. And yeah, well, it wasn't snowy somewhere. But like, you know, lakes. And now there's pictures. He sends me a video yesterday. I'm like, is that a coyote?

He's like, I'm like, Doug, what does Doug do when he sees a coyote? Doug can take a coyote. He's like, nothing. Nothing. He looks at him. I'm like, oh my god. Oh my gosh. And so, yeah, I'm like, he's living a coyote, he's like, nothing, nothing. He looks at him. I'm like, oh my god.

Oh my gosh. So yeah, I'm like, he's living a different lifestyle, for sure. Well, you know what? There are new smells here. He's having some variety. Do we love variety? I mean, I guess we do love variety. I added a new show to my West Hampton show.

The first one sold out, so I added a show August 21st now and 22nd. I will be in West Hampton performing. And then I'm doing the, I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Festival. That's in September and I am doing Napa Valley. And that's on October 3rd. I'm doing Napa Valley, some big winery.

So that's gonna be beautiful, yes. And of course we had so much fun at your Vegas show. Oh my God, Vegas, that was so fun. It was so fun. We gambled, everyone won. We did. You didn't win in the minute, but you won when you went to the slots.

I went to the slots and I put in a $20 bill and I won $115. I can see you winning at the slots, Kathryn. I love a penny slot, like an old lady. I would never waste my time at the slots because that's just like, I need more bang for... This weekend I started betting bigger. I started betting like $400 or $500 around and it worked, or a hand, and it was working. So I left with $300 more than I started with. I mean, you were brave, Betty.

You were like throwing out the money. Yeah, but I also supplied again. I supplied everybody with their gambling money and they all lost. Well, no, not everybody lost. People won. I mean, the bottom line is I never see that money again. But if I walk away with it, it's like I've given away money

and I'm walking away with more than I started with. That's a win. Yeah, it's a win for everybody. Everyone's happy. And then also like people are gambling because there's just like, you know, found money. There's a fun energy around gambling. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a really good time. It was a really good time. Yeah, I go to the same table every time after the show. Do you? And Doug was there. Doug was gambling because he's my king. Well, he's your lucky charm. He's my king.

Yeah. No, I wouldn't without him. He's definitely not my lucky charm. He's definitely not. I'm staying with my friend Kat right now. Yeah. No, I wouldn't without him. He's definitely not my lucky charm. He's definitely not. I'm staying with my friend Kat right now. Yeah. And she has a little Oompa Loompa dog.

Yeah. You know, not a... I don't know what kind it is, but it's a small one. Pomeranian-ish? Something. Fluffy? Not fluffy. No.

Short hair. Okay. I don't know what that type is, but it's not of interest to me. But Doug, it's so funny when they play because Doug is obviously like 14 times the size of her and he goes to pick her up like with his teeth. Oh no, which is a toy. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, that isn't a chew toy. No.

Like and he goes and gets it, like puts his mouth around her neck. On the front of the throat? And I'm like, no, no. And then he looks at us like, oh, I'm sorry. Am I not supposed to pick her up like this? It's like, no, you're not her mother. Is this not a chew toy?

And yeah, I know. So poor little Luna. She's a little Luna bear. Yeah, she's like, I'm you're not her mother. Is this not a chew toy? Yeah, I know. So poor little Luna. She's a little Luna bear. Yeah, she's like, I'm like, he's rough stuff. Thank God he's not a rapist, though. You know? I mean, yeah, not a humper. We don't want to hump her.

He did try to hump his friend Sally in Canada, but that was OK because she's a friend of mine and that dog is big and could defend herself. Yeah. You know what I mean? And she was like, fuck you, Doug. But he's like fixed and everything, right? He just, no, I'm full of...

No, I have a dog that's not fixed. I mean, come on, hello? That's just one more thing that I can't afford to deal with. I know, right? They just do it sometimes. My friend Kat and I, well, Kat's a good cook, so she's been cooking for me because my house, of course, is still not ready.

No, of course not, of course not. My house is still not ready. Can you fucking believe it? I scheduled my entire European tour and my entire European travels to come home to a house. To a home. And it's still not ready. Oh, speaking of which, ICE.

We have a lot of groups to donate to that I aggregated. So let's add those, like different organizations you can donate to for families being affected by ICE. You could donate to attorneys that are defending these people, or you can donate to organizations that are helping feed them and are helping them. Legal fees and all that.

Legal fees and also to help them financially while they're unable to go to work because they're being stopped every single fucking day. Crazy. So that they don't get separated from their families. So it's a good place, there's like five or six donation spots that I found out that are really good to donate to, so let's do that.

Okay, if you want to donate to families who are affected by ICE and immigration issues, here are a few places that you can donate. So one place you can support is the Immigrant Defenders Law Center, and we'll put a link in the bio. They're a next generation social justice law firm that defends immigrant communities against injustices. Jail Support LA, it's a grassroots collective dedicated to supporting anti-repression work

in Los Angeles, and they provide bail money for protesters in downtown LA. Union del Barrio is an organization that defends Mexican and Latin American communities. They have been organizing a lot of protests and teach people how to do patrols in the event of a raid. CHERLA is the Coalition for Human Immigration Rights and empowers immigrants to push policies that promote freedom of movement, full human rights, vigorous civic action, and strengthens democracy. Buen Vecino is an in-person responder training being held on July 25th and it's in Moor Park,

California. So if you want to attend that, we'll put a link in the bio. 805 Undocu Fund provides funds and support for immigrants. Mixteco supports, organizes, and empowers the indigenous migrant communities in California's Central Coast. And these raids, illegal immigration raids continue to happen. So any support that you guys can provide

will be put to good use. Okay, great. And we have a great guest today, an old friend of mine who is in a new show, and the new show is called Hunting Wives on Netflix. It's not to be confused with hunting husbands or hunting for husbands, it's Hunting Wives. Try and figure that one out.

Please welcome Malin Ackerman. Hi, honey. Hi. How you doing? I was just talking about my bunion surgery I'm getting at July 5th. So much fun. So much fun.

I know, I can't wait. I'm excited. I'm actually excited to have a month off and just lying around my house. You know what I mean? Unfortunately, it won't even be a month. Like, you'll be up, and if you want to, you can be up. But otherwise, just milk it. I milked it for as long as I could, even it won't even be a month. Like, you'll be up and if you want to, you can be up. But otherwise, just milk it.

I milked it for as long as I could, even though I could walk after a week. And you could walk. Wow. Did you do physical therapy after? Yeah, I did. I did with a trainer and a P, you know, a physical therapist, a PT. But I was in a boot, obviously. I wasn't walking without a boot, not that you're in a boot for a while.

But I think we went to Vegas two weeks after my surgery, because we'd already booked it. And I just got one of those little rolly things where you put your knee on it and you roll. Oh my god. What Vegas was intended for. That and Disney World, when people roll around in Disney World.

All you're missing is a drumstick, like one of those giant turkey drumsticks. OK, Molly, first of all, when did I see you last? I saw you at Guy's house, probably, right? At Guy's house, yeah, it was probably 3 a.m. in the morning, dancing on the dance floor. Yeah, peak time. I think I was looking for my purse

for about four hours at that party. Did you ever find it? I did, it was amazing. It's the story of my life. Some strange person just came up to me, someone who I had never met, because I was going around the party asking people, I'm like, do you have my assistance info?

Because I might need to get my driver. And I'm alone. I came with a bunch of people, but everybody had left, and I was still there. And then someone just walked right up to me, like some sort of heavenly angel, and said, have you been looking for your purse? And I was like, oh my god, who are you?

And do you know who that person is? You have no idea. It was just a lovely human being. That's nice. A good Samaritan in the world. We like that. It was a fun party. It was, it's always fun, right?

Although last year was a little bit too hectic. And I remember talking to Guy, I'm like, don't let anybody into that party. Like, come on. It gets nuts. But you kind of get lost. Like you get your little pockets of like, I'm always on the dance floor.

I love to dance. So my husband and I are the same. And so we're always on the dance floor, I love to dance, so my husband and I are the same, and so we're always on the dance floor until our feet can't take it anymore. And I feel like you find your little pockets, and all of a sudden you turn around, you're like, oh, I'm just doing the shuffle with Miles Teller, and then you turn around and you're like, and there's Chelsea falling over the table and having the blast.

Exactly. That's exactly the kind of impression I want to leave people with. I remember the last time we were hanging out, this was many, many years ago, you had just had your kid. That's how long ago we've spent. It's been since we spent time together. So you were, I think you got divorced soon after that and then you met your husband. Very soon after that.

My real, like the real life one, the first one was like a trial run. And then number two, I met him when my son was three. And so he's been in our life since then, which is awesome. Nine years, crazy. I think that's crazy that you have a baby with someone and then you become an unexpectedly become a single mother. That was a little bit of a surprise. You know, life is you can never plan it. As we all know, we all try to do it, but it

just, it was one of those things and, and we're good now, like he's in our life and it's, and we're friends and all that, but it was just, when you have kids, you just never know what that's going to be like, what it's going to feel like. I know that so many people have so many different reactions. Some people are like in the movies, we're like, everything's grand and beautiful, but for the most part, it's fucking shocking. And you go through a real emotional roller coaster, bringing a human being home and you have to take care of it. So I think for both of us, it was just,

we just didn't prepare properly. And I think it really affected our relationship. And- But who does prepare properly? Like, I mean, it's not like so many people are taking parenting classes before they have a baby, you know? No, I know. And nine months is not enough time to prepare for that kind of invasion.

No. No. And I wasn't even, we weren't even preparing. I mean, I was just living life the way it normally was. And then a baby was born. You're like, oh my God, geez, this is, I got to keep this thing alive and try to keep my relationship sexy? I don't know.

How do you do that? I have no idea. I have no idea. I failed at it. But number two is good. And we decided not to have another kid together because I was like, you know, let's just keep it sexy. And we've got a kid already and like, let's have fun.

And when he gets old, he's 12 now, you know, a few more years and he's out of the house and we're gonna travel the world and we're still gonna keep it sexy. So I know you know a little something about that because you decided not to have children. You just kept spontaneity part of your life, which is so much fun and I miss it.

Do you, your sister introduced you to your husband, right? Yeah, she did. Good memory. She is now married to the guy who, so. She's married to your husband too? She's, yeah, we live a polygamous life. It's very cool. You know, a little incestuous, but yeah. Her husband is also a Brit,

and so my husband and her husband were at drama school together. So he would come out for like pilot season when there was pilot season when that existed And so I met him a couple times and then we ended up sitting at hamburger Marys beside each other for a dry Queen bingo night And that's where we fell in love as you do because we sat beside each other and I just realized at that time Like I'd met him a few times, but I was finally ready I guess and he was just so you know that British and wit, and he was funny and kind of cute.

And so, I mean, I still didn't think we were gonna get married. I just thought we'd have a fun little affair, because he's seven years younger than me. Oh, ooh, I love that. Yeah, it's great. And the nice thing about younger men is that they adore you. He's like, wow, you're my woman, and it feels, you feel like a woman around a younger man.

I love it. I'm enjoying this experience. Yeah, I could see that. I've never dated somebody that was so much younger than me more than like a year or so. So I don't know, but I'm assuming I'm gonna get around to it because I'm not getting any younger. Like, I'm sure I'm gonna start dating. I'll introduce you to a few young boys.

Yeah, I mean, I'd like a little couple of flings, especially with, you know, the energy, sexual energy that younger men have. I'm more interested in that than having to deal with men my own age and their own issues. Not naming any names. You DM me when I was in Sweden or you were texting me or one of those things because that's where you're from.

You're from Sweden. I am, originally. I was reading your bio and you also have permanent residency status in Canada. So I did. That one I had to give up. When I moved out here, I had a permanent, because I was there for 22 years. And when we first moved to Canada, Sweden wouldn't allow dual citizenship.

And then when it was finally time for me to move to America, then I could get dual citizenship. But I was going to America. So I was like, you know what, I don't need a Canadian passport. I've got my Swedish passport. Now I wish I had would have done it. But Because I was about to ask you, I'm like, you know what? I don't need a Canadian passport. I've got my Swedish passport. Now I wish I would have done it. But. Because I was about to ask you, I'm like, wait, I have a house in Canada and I don't have

permanent residence. You do? Yeah, I do. I'm Whistler. I go, I love skiing. Oh, beautiful. Oh yeah, of course you do. Yeah. I ski in the winter time and I love, I love Canadians. You know, they're so civilized.

Yeah, they're great. They're so nice. So nice. And normal. It's a nice contrast to what we deal with in America, but. A little bit, yeah. Yeah, I was curious about learning. I mean, all my conversations lately are basically about how to naturalize another place. How are you going to get to become a permanent resident of another place? Back to Sweden.

I have like a few Swedish people in my life. And when I was in Stockholm for my most recent, I just came from Europe, I was on this European tour. It looked amazing. Thank you. It was amazing. And Stockholm was such a highlight. It was so gorgeous out.

We walked probably like 15,000 steps that day. We walked and walked and walked and walked. And it was like one of the first days of what felt like summer. It was in May, but it felt like the first. And the whole place was pumping. And this was like how it was when we kept like hopping through Europe. We'd land and like the sun would be out

and we'd be in Copenhagen or Amsterdam or, but Stockholm was such a highlight. And I have a really good girlfriend who lives in Whistler, who is Swedish. And then I have another friend that I spent like my 20s with that was Swedish. And I have to say Swedish women, A, are so much fucking fun. And I feel like Swedish culture, tell me if this is true. Like women don't care about marriage in the same way that American women care about marriage.

No, not at all. The whole thing of like, I don't know, there's that really weird thing where it's like you have to spend half your yearly salary for the rank. Like there's all these rules around things. Swedish women are kind of like take it early. I think it's like the Viking mentality we grew up on versus, you know, I guess America was built on, you know, religion. And so it's a very separate, it feels very logical in Sweden. And I also feel like the women there, for whatever reason, I don't know why or the history of it, but the women in Sweden are the aggressors and they're very independent. It feels very like, it always feels like women have always been an equal over there. And so you just feel empowered, which is really interesting. And I don't know the reason why, but I do feel like women are just

strong and take what they want kind of thing. And I love that about it, you know, and men kind of follow suit and stand in line. Yeah, I wonder if it does have something to do with the Vikings. I'm gonna have to read a book about that. I know, me too. I should know my own culture really. And I wonder if it's all scale, like if it's all that area and Scandinavian cultures too where women, I mean, obviously they're're like government-wise and happy-wise, like everybody seems a lot happier in that part of the world, Scandinavia in general.

When also when you get like a year maternity leave, six months paternity leave, like everything is, it works, like everything, you pay really high taxes in Stockholm, but they go towards the things that you want them to go towards. Like you can go to university for free in Sweden and get a really brilliant education, you know? And that's where our tax money goes to, which I would love to see here, you know, having a kid here. I'm like, wow, it's expensive because he can't go to all the public schools. We were lucky to put him in a charter school for the first few years of his life, but now we just switched him over. And we're like, wow, it's crazy. It's crazy that we have to pay for kindergarten. Well, I don't have to pay for anything, but it's crazy that parents have to pay for fucking kindergarten. I mean, we live in a city that is

absolutely ridiculous. Watching that rat race and watching people apply to kindergartens and preschools is like, honestly. When I was pregnant, I had a friend of mine, friend of mine's mother who was like, okay, listen, we need a meeting. And I was pregnant, I had a friend of mine's mother who was like, okay, listen, we need a meeting. And I was like, okay. And she comes over to my place and she goes, listen, you got to start looking into preschools. You got to start putting your, I'm like, my kid isn't even born. What do you mean?

She's like, oh, it's impossible. I'm going to introduce you to a woman who's going to get you in. And I was like, okay. I was really freaked out. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. So this woman comes over and she's like, OK, I know everybody at every school. I'll help you fill out all the forms. I'll help you.

I was like, I feel like I could fill out a form myself. And she goes, and it'll cost $7,000. I just went, I'm good. He'll go to whatever preschool he goes to and it'll be fine. He'll learn how to count to three and it'll be great. But it was just there's this whole gamut here where people scare you into thinking like, if they don't get into the right preschool, then you know, they're just never gonna make it in life.

Which is nuts. It really is coming from Canada where you're just like, you just go to the schools that you go to, you know. By the way, Canadian colleges are $7,000 for a whole entire year. So you could either get a coach to get you into kindergarten in America,

or you could go to college for $7,000 a year. Your dealer's choice. Yeah, dealer's choice. What are you gonna choose? I'm into that new Prime Minister of Canada though, Mark Carney. I like his attitude a lot. Yeah, me too.

Speaking of taking what you want, okay, let's talk about Hunting Wives, because first of all, you are really getting after it in this show. Did you get to see it? I saw three episodes, yes. I watched it while I was getting my roots done yesterday, back to back to back.

I saw you in full action, having lots of action with a variety of different people. Yes, yes. And I was like, wow, look at you go. Margot Banks, who is the character that I play, as you saw, is probably one of the favorite characters that I've ever played. Talk about like living in her own power, right?

Just like taking whatever she wants. She is master manipulator. She is Lady Macbeth behind the scenes, just with her puppeteering. Super fun to play. You know, all the cast was, it's one of those dream scenarios where everything kind of fell in place. I mean, at first when I read the script, I then

gave it to my husband and I was like, am I this person? Can I do this? Like, should I do this? Is this crazy? It is nuts. And he read it and he went, oh my god, are you kidding me? You have to do this. It's literally his fantasy is this whole show. But yeah, she is something to be reckoned with. But the beauty of it, because you only saw three episodes, there's so many twists and turns that are coming your way. By the end, you can't even believe where it's taken you. And that's what the fun part is about it, is that.

Yeah, you can see that there's a lot happening. And there's a lot that's going to happen. Oh, this is exciting. This is awesome for you. All eight episodes get dropped all at the same time on July 21st. So, you know, grab your popcorn and sit for eight hours straight and watch this crazy show.

Yeah, so it's basically, let's give a synopsis of the show. It's basically this, Brittany Snow is also in the show and she basically moves, I think, from the East Coast to East Texas. Is that right? That's right. Small, little, made-up town in East Texas, where Margot Banks and her husband Jed Banks are basically, like, the queen bee

and the soon-to-be governor of this little town. Who's played by Dermot Mulrooney. That's right. Dreamboat. He's so sweet. Yeah, he is a dreamboat. Oh, my God. He's such a lovely human, too. You guys have great chemistry together. I love that man. Yeah, he's a great guy,. He's such a lovely human too. You guys have great chemistry together. I love that man.

Yeah, he's a great guy. And it's such a great role for you. I love seeing you in a lead role and being this kind of master puppeteer. I love watching that. And I love seeing you shine in that way. So congratulations on that. Thank you. It's so much fun.

It really is. If you like big little eyes and yellow stone, it's like they had a baby and this is it. So it's salacious and fun and sexy and wild. How do you deal with having sex scenes with different people? Is that an issue? What do you do to prepare for those? Well, the thing is that we have

intimacy coordinators nowadays, which is a saving grace. I love it so much because you have this person who comes to eat, you know, if it's me and Brittany having a scene together, she'll talk to us separately and say, all right, what are you guys comfortable with? What do you wanna show? What do you not wanna show? What, like, what are we doing here?

And then we come in together and do rehearsals, just like stunt choreography. She actually used to, our, our intimacy coordinator used to be a stunt choreographer, which is awesome. And she was the best. And so it's like doing choreography, you get it all settled, then you show your director and they sign off on it. So when you go to set that day, you know exactly what you're doing. There are no surprises. Nobody's doing anything different. We both feel comfortable with what we're doing. And when I say comfortable, it's

still not like, woo, this is going to be great. It's still weird, you know, you're still there with the crew and cameras. It's never what it looks like on screen is never as intimate as we make it look. But it's very respectful and it's very well organized and directed and taken care of. So you know, I once did a movie, like, I don't remember what it was even called, and I had to kiss this guy. And I was like, I can't, I couldn't kiss him. I was like, I can't kiss this person. And the director's like, you just have to kiss him

on the lips, like, it can be short, like, it just has to look like you're about, like you're about to start making out. I'm like, I don't, I can't do it. Like, I'm not attracted to him. He's like, I know, but this is not real life. You're acting. And I'm like, which is why I'm not an actress. I'm like, I can't make it. Like, I'm not attracted to him. He's like, I know, but this is not real life. You're acting. And I'm like, which is why I'm not an actress.

I'm like, I can't make out with a man. And the whole time, I just wanted him to be yelling cut before he yelled it. Like, the whole time, I was like, please! Ugh! Like, I had such a childish reaction to being, to having to act in like a romantic setting where it wasn't really attracted to him.

So do you ever have those types of feelings where you're like, I want this to be over? I think I've suppressed it so far down. It's been so long. Doing it for so long that you just pull up your bootstraps and go. But no, you know, I got to be honest, there hasn't been, I haven't, I've had one once, I got to say,, there hasn't been I haven't I've had one once, I got to say and this was in the very beginning of my career before I even came out to Hollywood. And I had to do a kid like a kiss with it. I was nothing like it wasn't even a make out thing. But he there was he was one of those like off camera just wasn't a nice guy, like wasn't a great guy. So I just didn't like him very much. And not only that, but he decided to eat tzatziki, which has tons of garlic in it, right at lunch,

right before our scene. So not only did I not like him, he smelt like garlic and I had to kiss him and I was like, ugh, everything about him. And that was very early on in my career, so I didn't know how to handle it. But yes, that was one moment where I was like, no, please just call cut. But otherwise, it's, it's, I've had a beautiful experience and most of the people that I've worked with, I've just really enjoyed. And it's been, you kind of, when you're in that character, you go into it and you feel

like that character. And of course, once they call cut, you feel silly and awkward and you're like, hey, how's your wife? Everything good at home? Great. It is a very strange thing. And if you're not in the acting world and you don't do it, I can understand people on the outside going, wow, how do you do that? But I guess you get used to it.

I guess you do it in character. Well, yeah, I guess right. You would do it in character. But do you feel a sense of like, you must feel a sense of responsibility to make the other actor, whether it's a woman or a man or anything in between, do you feel responsible for making the other person feel comfortable? 100%.

And I think both parties, and that's been in my experience, 99% of the time is that both parties, myself and the other party are just super respectful and considerate and as soon as they call cut, it's like, hey, are you okay? Are you good? You know, I have some scenes with George Fairey in this in this show, and he plays a 19 year old boy, but he's in his early 20s. And we have a relationship that's of a sexual nature. And of course, everything was treated just as it would with the intimacy court.

It was beautiful. It was lovely, respectful. But after every shot, I would be like, I felt like a mother to him. I was like, are you okay, son? Do you need some water? Do you need some, like, can I get you anything? I'm sorry, or are you welcome? I don't know what to say right now. But it was just really, to say that,

like it's just been a lovely experience. And yes, I think everyone is super considerate in those situations. There's a great shot of you pulling up on a jet ski. First of all, your wardrobe is awesome. Isn't it great? Yeah. I mean, I hate to comment on women's bodies, but your body is just ridiculous. And your legs go on for miles and miles and miles. And you should always just be in a bathing suit because you should be showing that body off. She pulls up on a jet ski on this beach to pick up

Brittany. And it's so funny because it's just like, you know, you're on the hunt basically. It's like a Baywatch moment. Yes, totally. It's totally like a Baywatch moment. And but yeah, I just like seeing you kind of command a show. It's very nice to see that. I'm definitely enjoying it. And I have to say, you know, I you've earned that. Thank you. Very nice to see that. I'm definitely enjoying it and I have to say, you know, I...

You've earned that. Thank you. I feel like I've earned it too, but I also feel like this character, I love sitting in the power of what it is sometimes to be female and what it is to use that and wield that power. Not that I would ever use it the way she does, but it's fun to play that because you go, women really have this power, not that it should be used in the way she does, but it's fun to play that because you go, women really have this power, not that it should be used in this way,

but wow, is it ever fun to exercise that in a role? And it is really just juicy. And I felt the same about my role in Billions where she was just this powerful character. And I love women in power like that, whether they're using it for good or bad, it's just fun to play. It's also fun to examine that because men can be so powerful

with almost no power, you know? Like they don't really have any real power necessarily and they present as they do just because of the nature of society and the way things have shaken out thus far. But women really are the powerful ones. Like we have so much inside of us. So whenever there are people that call into the podcast, which you'll experience shortly,

like there's so many women who are unaware of the power that lies within them. Yeah, totally. It's our job as women who are more mature and have the wisdom and experience to know that it's so important to inject women with that vibe. A hundred percent. You know, to make sure everyone knows how powerful you are.

Like, I was with this young couple yesterday doing something and we were filming something and they were just so traditional, right? And they were like talking about getting married and I was in their apartment in New York City and they were so young, and they were both adorable and sweet and kind of innocent. But they weren't even 30.

And I just could tell, like, oh, this girl really wants to marry this guy, and he wants to marry, and they think this is it. And it probably, or may, will be. It might be. Who knows? But also, why? Why is it necessary to, you know, especially,

I mean, you know that because you've been through, you know, a first marriage. But I want women to know, like, life just keeps getting better and better as you get older. And the more wisdom we acquire, the sexier life becomes and the more like possibilities. And like, don't limit your possibilities for the world. A hundred percent.

And that, you know, Chelsea, that's why I love you so much and what you put out there in the world in your comedy and your voice, you just, it shows women that you can be vocal and you can be out there and you can be confident and you can do whatever the fuck you want, like skiing in a bikini, because we can. But I just think that it is so important for women to understand

that our voices can and should be heard. And it's OK. I had to go through a lot of work of I was, I still am, it's still in me, I'm a people pleaser. But I realized that people pleasing is actually just a way to control other people. So it's not a really nice thing. It's just I need to control their emotions so that they don't make me feel a certain way. So instead, I had to start learning how to say no and standing up for myself and being okay with the fact that some people might think that I'm a bitch or some people might think that whatever they want to think.

But I have to align myself with what's true to me and how I feel. And the same goes with relationships. Like when I met my husband, I was like, I'm not a finished product yet. You know, I just went through divorce. I just had a kid like, I don't really know who I am right now. So who you're getting right now is not who I'm going to be in 10 years from now. So if you want to enter into this as a relationship, cool, it may or may not work, but we can give it our best shot. And that's fun. And that's great. Now he happens to be the best partner ever, which I didn't expect. I really thought he was just going to be a little romp in the sack and then he's going back to England.

It didn't turn out that way. He stayed. But I think it's really important and it's really hard. And it's a really long journey. And I feel like I'm only stepping into myself in my forties, you know, and who I want to be and understanding myself and being confident enough to take those steps to living more authentically to who I am. And whoever doesn't want to be part of that just isn't going to be in my life. And that's OK. Right. And that and that the stage of your life that you're in when you meet somebody is not a fixed state. Like you're not going to be that way forever.

None of us are. We're always evolving or devolving or sometimes you go through a rough patch and you're not at your best. And that can happen at any time in your life. Even when you feel like you've gotten all figured out, then something can kind of throw you and you're like, oh shit, this isn't me operating

on my A plus plus self, but that's okay. To give yourself the grace that, okay, this is a rough patch. I'm going to get through it because I've gotten through everything else that has come my way in my life. And this is just another something I didn't expect. As you said, when we started talking today, that you can't really plan, you know, your life. So when I see these young people planning their futures and I've got to marry this

by this age and I want to have this many kids by this age. I'm like, oh, god, throw that owl out the window. You can have your kids, and you can have your husband, but it doesn't have to be these little tent poles like in this order and arrangement. And I feel like that sets you up for disappointment instead of just going, let's see what happens. OK, we'll take a break, and we'll be right back

with Malin Ackerman Kelly Harnett spent over a decade in prison... ...for a murder she says she didn't commit I'm 100% innocent While behind bars, she learned the law from scratch Because, oh God, Harnett, jailhouse lawyer And as she fought for herself... ...she also became a lifeline

for the women locked up alongside her. It's supposed to have been faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her. So many of these women had lived the same stories. I said, were you a victim of domestic violence? And she was like, yeah. But maybe Kelly could change the ending. I said, how many people have gotten

other incarcerated individuals out of here? I'm gonna be the first one to do that. This is the story of Kelly Harnett, a woman who spent 12 years fighting not just for her own freedom, but her girlfriends too. I think I have a mission from God to save souls by getting people out of prison. The Girlfriends, Jailhouse Lawyer.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So what happened at Chappaquiddick? Well, it really depends on who you talk to. There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond. And left a woman behind to drown. There's a famous headline, I think, in the New York Daily News. It's, Teddy escapes, blonde drowns. And in a strange way, right, that sort of tells you.

The story really became about Ted's political future, Ted's political hopes. Will Ted become president? Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control. And he's not the only Kennedy to survive a scandal. The Kennedys have lived through disgrace, affairs, violence, you name it.

So is there a curse? Every week, we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's royal family. Listen to United States of Kennedy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. American history is full of wise people. Well, women said something like,

you know, 99.99% of war is diarrhea and 1% is glory. Those founding fathers were gossipy AF and they love to cut each other down. I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, the show where you send us your questions about American history and I find the answers, including the nuggets of wisdom our history has to offer. Hamilton pauses and then he says, the greatest man that ever lived was Julius Caesar. And Jefferson writes in his diary, this proves that Hamilton is for a dictator based on corruption. My favorite line was what Neil Armstrong said, it would have been harder to fake it than

to do it. Listen to American History Hotline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to ten girls and forced them into

a secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor? But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey. And then he became the prey. And then he became the prey. Listen to The Turning River Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get

your podcasts. And we're back with Malin. What's your husband's name? Jack. Jack. Donnelly. Oh, yeah. I love British guys. Very British. Yeah. Well, we'll find you a young one, a young Brit. I know, I know, yeah.

Next stop. Put the word out. I like that. That's usually where I have most of my hookups is London. Yeah, because they're super fun and like just a blast, you know? Yeah. I'll ask my husband if he has any real good ones that are single. Okay, please do.

Please do. Catherine, what do we have in store for us? Well, we can start with an easy one. So Jessica says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twin sister and my mom and aunt are also twins. My mom is one of nine and has six sisters. All that to say, sisterhood is a huge value I hold and has always been a major part of my life. Due to work, which is a good thing and an opportunity I'm elated for, I'm going to be moving to the West Coast from the East Coast. And my big question is about my twin sister. She's had some recent challenges in her life and I'm so worried about quote abandoning her or feeling like I'm moving on without her across the country. She's also a badass and is in no way in trouble like where she's reliant on me. However,

emotionally and with her self-confidence, she's in a rut right now. I'm wondering if you have any tips and tricks on how you keep in touch with your sisters that are in different time zones than you, and also how to help them grow and navigate the challenges they might be facing while you aren't there physically.

Finally, one last question is whether you prioritize certain events to be there in person with them versus those you're okay with not being physically there for kind regards at Jess. How many sisters do you have, Malad? I have two half sisters and one half brother. They're all over the place. We grew up in different countries. They grew up in Sweden, my brother and I grew up in Canada, and I moved out here when I was 22. I've only experienced long distance relationships with my siblings and if anything I think you cherish your time together even more when you do see each other. And I think with all the technology that we have nowadays, I mean all of my besties are

somewhere in Costa Rica, somewhere in Canada, somewhere in Sweden. We keep in touch all the time and when you together, it's like no time has passed. I think the people that you're closest to, you work it out. It works itself out. And yes, I think you should go and be there for milestones and big events and whatnot and make time for that. But it sounds like this woman is saying,

you know, her sister's a badass and she's gonna figure it out. You can be there from a distance. Time zone, it's just three hours difference, it's not that bad. I don't feel like any sort of distance is prohibitive to maintaining a relationship with somebody that you care about deeply.

Not at all. Especially your sisters, there's texting, there's FaceTime, there's Zooms, you can schedule calls, you can text and say, wanna hop on the phone, you can FaceTime, you can do all those things. Totally. And just make sure that your presence is known and available, that you're making yourself available.

I think that's the most important thing for any relationship that you care about, is that you're, you know, when you hear from your sister, that you're responsive, that you get back to her in a nice fashion, not like, I hate when, this doesn't happen to me and my sisters or siblings, but like, you know, if someone texts you, you should text them back that day. I'm really good on text, I'm less, but like, you know, if someone texts you, you should text them back that day.

I'm really good on text. I'm less good on email, you know, like I'm, text is more immediate to me, but there are some people who don't text back for fucking four or five days. And I'm like, what, what kind of app do you like? How does that show up on your phone? But I think, especially if you're worried about somebody, you just make sure that your presence is understood for, for the other person and make sure that you're checking in going, you're checking in,

going, you know, hey, what's up? And asking questions that lead somewhere rather than going, how are you? How's it going? What, like, more specific, like, what did you do today? Who were you, you know, did you have a good weekend? Did you do anything fun? Like, I don't know, just like try to engage in a way

that requires a response so you can kind of measure how your sister is doing rather than just checking in in a kind of banal way. Yeah, exactly. Open-ended questions that let her kind of figure it out on her own, but you're there holding the space, I think, is really important. Yeah. Something that's helpful for me, too,

is having a regular call. So it's like, with my mom, every Friday, we know what time we're talking. And sometimes it has to move by a day or we skip a week or whatever. But having that time on the calendar, just so we know, like it makes it a lot more regular. Yeah, that's a good idea.

I mean, it really depends on your personality type. Like I would never stick to something like that. But I think that's a great idea. If you are organized and your sister's organized, then that's great. Yeah. It's nice to have something to, then that's great. Yeah. It's nice to have something to look forward to as well.

Yeah, totally. Especially you can also put it on you. Like I'm moving away, I'm gonna miss you. Don't make it about checking in on her. You make it presented as like, I hate being this far away from you, or I need to make sure we have a check-in for my sanity. Yeah, and I don't know if you guys ever did this

during COVID, but you do the Zooms where you, like happy hour Zooms, and you grab your cocktail and you sit and have happy hour together. You can do that from afar. You can do so many things with technology nowadays. Those are the only kind of Zooms I had. Even if the other people on the Zooms weren't having happy hour.

Even if it was a work call, I was drinking. You were always happy hour. Yeah, I'm like, this is a Zoom. And that means everyone needs to start drinking. Well, our next question comes from Lucy. She says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently become close friends with someone and while our friendship sparked quickly, I'm now questioning if we're truly compatible or if I'm just being a hater. She's fiery, outspoken and unapologetically flashy. Think bold designer fits and luxury everything. I, on the other hand, lean more toward quiet luxury and a calmer energy.

We share a meaningful bond. We both grew up in fairly turbulent homes, and we've both worked hard to break out of that. So there's a sisterhood there. But sometimes I find her behavior grating. There's a subtle superiority vibe that creeps in and it stirs something competitive in me that I don't love. I pride myself on being grounded and accepting, but this dynamic has me questioning whether I'm being too judgmental or if deep down we're just not bestie

material long term. So my question is, how do you tell the difference between being incompatible and being insecure? Is it okay to love someone but not like all of them? Respectfully, Lucy." Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is a hard lesson to learn for me, I know, because I want everyone to be like 100% of the things I like. I don't like the negatives, but that doesn't happen in life. Like everyone's going to have the thing that grates you on your nerves when you spend too much time with somebody or enough time with somebody. And you don't have to like diagnose the relationship to be the best friend that you'll ever have

in your life. Like a friendship is give and take. The fact that she's so much different than you is a good thing. Like that's exciting. Like that's a good way for you to be less narrow minded. You know, if we just become friends with people who are like us, then we're not really learning that much, and we're actually being very judgmental.

So I think it's always a good exercise to be friends with people that kind of take you out of your comfort zone. And then when you are feeling judgmental, something I do is like, why do I feel judgmental right now? What is it about this behavior that is making me act like this?

Because I don't wanna be judgmental. I wanna beal right now. What is it about this behavior that is making me act like this? Because I don't wanna be judgmental. I wanna be open-minded, you know? Or if somebody's grating on my nerves, that's usually something about yourself rather than something about the other person. Because somebody shouldn't annoy you that much that you're friends with. Like you don't need to spend that much time with them

if they're kind of annoying. Does that add up to you? Totally, totally. Yeah, I think it's definitely this difficulty, right, of like, it's a harsh world. Being human is very difficult. So I'm super receptive and open to the fact that we have so many different ways of going through life and it's such a layered experience. Yeah, it's obviously insecurity.

Is there a little incompatibility in the sense of maybe we don't need to be super close? Is this a loose acquaintance? Do you have these people in your life? Yeah, definitely. I think so. Absolutely. I think, you know, I read a book that John Cleese and his therapist wrote because I was studying psychology in school. I thought that was going to be my

path and I remember it so vividly because what I loved about it was in relationships, any relationship, romantic or friendship, you get attracted to people that have these, you know, you have these sliding doors that are, you know, the mosquito net doors, right? And behind those doors are things about yourself that you haven't shared or that are maybe subconscious or like the DNA and the fiber of who you are. And the other person has the same thing and you get attracted to somebody because of the things that are behind those doors.

And then when they start to come out, it's because you're meant to share those things and learn from them and grow from them, and growth can be uncomfortable. So this might be one of those situations where there's stuff that's getting stirred up from behind those doors for you, and it's uncomfortable, but maybe you've met this person that you have to face those things and look at them. And like Chelsea said, like, why am I feeling this way? And what about vocalizing it and saying, hey, you know, sometimes when you do this,

it makes me feel like this is the onus is on me right now and I'm just trying to figure myself out. But I just wanted to let you know, maybe we could have a conversation about it. Maybe, I don't know, you know, what's in it for you to lose really. I did that with my husband when I first met him and I was like, this is how I'm feeling.

These are the things that I'm afraid of and these I'm gonna tell you a few things. And if you leave and walk away because you think that's terrible, then leave and walk away. And I guess I'm going to have to take that. But I need to be honest now and start speaking from an honest place. So if you're feeling uncomfortable in situations or she does something that feels weird, address it in a diplomatic, beautiful way that opens a conversation maybe.

What's an example of something that she does that gives you kind of like cringe feelings? Yeah, yeah. I was thinking about this. There's definitely this social media element to it all, right? Because it was just like the physical experience of us hanging out. It's more subdued. But on social media, I think I just have like this status signaling fatigue. And, you know, in this day and age of influencers, of course, it's usually more

like indirect and they're trying to, it's a little more modest, humble, you know, whatever. And so I kind of am like, okay, go you for my friend because she's a little more just like direct, like this is how it is, I'm excited about this. Also rubs me the wrong way, but I think it's a general fatigue though, but I will give one example. So they recently got a little boat and in the post she's steering the boat with big old ring, left, but I know she's right-handed. So I'm like, are you steering that boat with your left hand? Right, right, I hear you.

Just silly little things like that where it's not as though it's a massive deal, it just puts me off a little bit. I think that's a fair thing to say to someone. Don't you, Mollyn? And I think that is, because that is kind of not true. She's presenting something that's, you know, and it's very showy.

And while you can accept that as a part of her personality, that she's showy, you have to understand that's who she is. But there is something about presenting something that's not true. But I mean, I wouldn't pick that example because it can be that's pretty like granular. You can say to someone, it makes me uncomfortable how showy you can be. You can say that go, I, it's, that's me. That's me personally.

I don't want to prohibit your behavior, but it just doesn't make me feel it makes me feel weird. Like it's hard for me to watch a little bit like that. That can come up organically at some point. But you also don't have to label exactly what type of friend this person is to you. Like, when you said, like, is this a loose associate or is this my best friend?

You are, like, kind of declaring what something is while it's happening. And then you're, like, missing the whole moment anyway. And I've been there. I understand what that is. You're like, oh, how much, how much of this person can I take? And that's up for you to decide. But you can also have more fun within the moment and be like, oh my God, this is fun to hang out with a person.

I would never act like this. I have a lot of friends that I would like, oh my God, I would never act like that. And I, half of my friends think that about me. So I think that that's like a good reminder. You know what I mean? Cause I'm sure there's things that you do that probably maybe rub her the wrong way or and she's able to look beyond them or maybe there isn't anything that you do that rubs her the wrong way.

But like, I would just pick and choose your moments. And also it's an interesting experiment to find out when you get annoyed with someone and when somebody starts to grate on your nerves. It's like a nice introspective opportunity to find out what it is that is bothering you about that person. Why does this bother me?

What's underneath that? Yeah, no, and I appreciate that so much. I guess that is ultimately what I'm trying to articulate. I feel like I'm fairly accepting, but this has thrown a spanner in the works a little bit, but you're totally right. And I think as we get older too, like I'm getting to a phase of life where it's harder to make friends, it's a little more difficult. Have you thought about taking up hunting?

Malin can coach you on how to hunt on her new show, Hunting Wives. I can hunt fake wild boar if you want. We can go hunting together with blanks. It's going to be super fun, but I do make a mean margarita. Okay, but I'm in. I do think you go and enjoy the flash and the luxury. Dip in and dip out as much as you want and that's it. Then you'll see over time if you need to shave the fat and you're like, no, not a good friend, maybe a great friend, but very different, and just limit the time. Yeah.

And get very acquainted with that mute button on Instagram. Like there are people I love in real life and I cannot tolerate their social media presence. And that's okay, it's a different thing. But it's also like if someone is also filming the whole time you're with them, you have every right to go, can you please like cool it? Like, let's not, we're not, you know,

I'm here to spend time with you. Like, that's totally justifiable. I don't, if somebody's constantly filming you, or you know, wanting to film themselves, then they're not being present at all. So that is something you can say. And that's not being judgy, that's being, wanting real time.

Plus, you don't know how many people you're gonna meet through this woman. She sounds like very social, and she'll probably introduce you to a lot more people who probably feel the same way about her than you do. So then you'll have people, then you can really start talking shit about her with some other friends.

So you have that to look forward to. You're hilarious. So many bonuses. Yeah. It sounds like fun. Lucy, just. So many bonuses. Yes. Yeah. It sounds like fun. Lucy, just don't put so much pressure on it. It's not a romantic relationship and we shouldn't be putting so much pressure on our relationships.

Just have fun and clock yourself when you're being judgmental. Take it in. I appreciate that. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Lucy. Thank you. Take care.

Good luck. Bye. Well, our Take care. Good luck. Bye. Well, our next question comes from Stu. He's 32 and says, Dear Chelsea, straight white male father and lover of the podcast writing in. What? A straight man is listening to this podcast? Yes.

We should get a support group for straight men who listen to this podcast because there's only got to be like less than 10. Right. Exactly. There should be a celebration for these men. And he's cute, look at him, hi, love it. So he says, I've been meaning to reach out for a while now and I'm glad I finally am. My partner Hannah was featured on one of your episodes about a year ago.

Everything is amazing between us and she's not the subject of my plea for advice. I have an almost five-year-old son with my ex who I dated on and off for about seven years prior to meeting my current partner. I left for good about three years ago. It was a tumultuous relationship between us from the beginning and with the help of my friends,

I was finally able to break the cycle. I had four separate apartments during our various breaks and broke all of the leases to move back in with her each time into a house that I built for her. Regardless, things are better than ever at the moment, but she still needs to be in my life. With lawyers and multiple mediations, we were able to come to a somewhat copacetic parenting agreement. However, the reality is anything but pleasant. My dilemma is basically how do I shift my perspective for the next 18 years to probably the rest of my life of having to deal with this person who's caused me so much trauma and deep, deep pain?

How do I co-parent with someone who's unable to communicate rationally? A person who exhibits all the classic narcissistic qualities? We can barely communicate, so the court suggested a parenting app, and that's what we rely on currently. Being face-to-face is extremely challenging as she consistently initiates volatile arguments in front of our young son, regardless of what I say or do. I feel that I'm doing the work on myself to be able to move past this and create a future of my dreams with my current partner. But what happens when you're bound to a person like this for the rest of your life? In a nutshell, how do I stay sane and create healthy boundaries for myself for the foreseeable future and beyond in a seemingly impossible situation?

Best Stu. Hi Stu. Hi Stu. Hi, this is our special guest, Malin Ackerman. Hi, how you doing? Good, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. I'm divorced.

Why don't you start since you have some co-parenting experience. Yeah, my husband and I, we were together 11 years. We separated when my son was four months old and only spoke through lawyers. It was a similar kind of thing. I understand narcissistic people more than anyone you would know, but it's definitely they are, a narcissist is impossible to negotiate with. It's like negotiating with a terrorist. So there's, you're just never gonna, just don't ever hope that this person

is gonna come around to anything, but you can absolutely shape your own life the way you want to. It sounds like you're already on the path for that, where you're taking really good care of yourself and you're doing your own self work and you've got a supportive partner. It sounds like you guys can be a loving home for your son.

There's going to be bumps in the road and you're never going to be able to protect your son from the world or life or her or whatever she wants to be saying or doing. But as he grows up, my son is now 12 years old, the questions start to come and they see things, they're very smart and they're very bright and they take things in and they understand what's happening. But unfortunately, I wish I knew about this parenting app where you could just go on an app and decide everything. That sounds amazing.

I think stick to that and have as little amount of contact with her as possible and just do the kind of drop off and hand off of your son and just be there for him really and for your partner. Just take care of yourselves. But there's not much you can do when you're dealing with a narcissist. And maybe over time it'll start to dissipate, the anger might start to dissipate and the ferocity, but it sounds like you're on the right path at least.

I don't know, Chelsea, what do you have to say? I have some experience with this too, surprisingly, dealing with someone who behaves in that way, who creates tons of chaos and then takes absolutely no accountability for it. And they have children, and they're in my life. And so I totally understand what you're saying. And I think what I would say is there's so much dignity

in not getting down with that behavior. There's so much dignity in remaining separate and never bad mouthing that person and never not to your child anyway. Obviously you can go off on her all you want to your friends and family, but, and you need to, you know? But the app is amazing. I didn't know there was something like that.

But I think there's so much dignity in not getting into the muck of it and mired in it with your child that once you have like a few years, and I'm not saying that you have, but I think that in it of itself is an honorable thing and an honorable way to react with somebody who's unstable and narcissistic and creates chaos wherever they go.

And it's kind of like you're setting an example for your kid to see what the calm is and where the storm is, right? And so if you're always reliable and you're always dependable and you're always calm, because a storm can't fight by itself. It just fizzles out. So as long as you keep the engagement to the bear, bear, bear, bear minimum, she's gonna find somebody else to argue and fight with.

And you know, hopefully that will occupy her time as soon as she like loses the energy that she gets from you. And I'm sure you've already done most of this. But I would say like just continuing through it in a dignified way and holding your son's mental health in such a high place, like that's more important than anything is to know and exemplify the kind of behavior that you want him to attach to rather than to that behavior, you know, so that there's a contrast and he can see, oh, this person's stable, this person's reliable, this person does what they say, this person is dependable, and then there's this.

So he's going to figure it out because everyone does, but it's definitely not your job to paint the picture for him. It's your job to just show him what the opposite of that looks like. Yeah, and that's kind of the only thing that's kept me sane in this whole thing, honestly, is just anchoring down and really doing that myself.

I thought she would change when I started dating her, and clearly, you know, that was my bad. And I've learned to not, and I don't see it happening anytime in the future. But one of the main kind of issues that we're having at the moment is that obviously he's in a lot of school and summer camps now and everything. And she's kind of been bad mouthing me to all the other parents and the teachers and more or less putting everything on me Which I you know, if she wants to do that, go ahead have fun It's clear when you meet me in person that that is not who I am but I just you know, it can't it paints a bad picture me and people look at me differently when I come to pick up my

son and You know, they treat me differently and I would how should I deal with that because that is not fun But that's on them. I mean, that's crazy to me that people will just take one side of the story. You know what I mean? I feel like that. Then who are these people? Do you really care what they think?

Do you really care? That's a great point. Like, there are two sides to every story. And if they're not willing to hear both sides, then be gone with them. You don't need them. But also, I would argue, they don't even need to hear your side, because there's one person spinning tails, and then there's

you that's acting normal and going to pick up your son and being polite and pleasant and engaging to whomever you can. You don't have to go and convince them that you're the good guy. They're going to figure it out, too. Everybody, the person I'm talking about, everybody knows that this person's off their rocker. Everybody knows. I'm not, I didn't have to tell anybody. Most people

figured it out on their own. So that's another song and dance that you can just eliminate. Like you don't have to participate in that. All you have to do is be a great dad to your kid. It doesn't matter what these people think of you in the moment, they're all going to figure the same shit out too. And for the other people that wanna glom onto the drama of the story, there are people that create drama wherever they go and people get tired of it. People don't wanna be involved in other people's drama endlessly.

It sounds fun in the beginning sometimes, but it doesn't go on like that. So I would say it's the same advice I would give you with regard to dealing with her directly and like just act in a dignified way like you are dignified You're doing the right thing and just be consistent about all of your behavior and then there then it's just the writings on the wall It's just obvious to everybody and it doesn't necessarily happen when you want to I know you want to like defend yourself But don't there's nothing to defend it has to crash and burn in my opinion

That's the only inevitable outcome is that eventually it's just gonna, she's gonna do this until she doesn't have any friends left or he will obviously see it. Absolutely, she'll go through a million friends. That's what she'll do. She'll go through a million people. Narcissists burn their bridges wherever they go

and it just happens. And if you're like Chelsea saying, this is the best advice, just be consistent and be dignified and people will see it over time. That's it. Yeah, and there's no reason to badmouth her to anybody, even if you've become friends with any of those parents. Like all you have to, you just have to give the look like I don't want to go there. I'm not interested in participating in that kind of conversation. You know what I mean? Be above it because that is respectable behavior. And when people see that, they're like, oh, okay,

there's the normal one. Yeah. And it sets see that, they're like, oh, okay, there's the normal one. Yeah. And it sets us more apart too. Exactly, like you said. Yeah, so it's kind of like taking that attitude with you in every, for the big stuff and the small stuff, you know? You just have to have that attitude. And like, it's like every morning

you have to meditate for 20 minutes, like I will not react to her today. I will not get involved in this drama today. And do that. And before you know it, then that becomes your second skin. And I mean, you sound like you have your shit together anyway and you've done, the hardest stuff is behind you, but I can understand how challenging it would be

to think of leading this life. I mean, she's gonna start terrorizing another man at some point anyway. So, you know. She's been through a few, so let's hope one sticks. See, there you go. Yeah, well. But thanks for calling in. We're so excited to have a straight male caller. So, you know, been through a few so let's hope one sticks. See you go But thanks for calling in and we're so excited to have a straight male caller I can't even tell you

It'll happen more for sure Okay, we'll take care Cheers, thank you so much. Bye. Bye. Bye. That was sweet I know There's so many see there are such good guys out there. That's sweet. Yeah. And you know, those people like that, though, that are so crazy, you know, you talk about narcissists and then everything comes up on your phone and it's like, a narcissist will do this, a narcissist will do this, a narcissist.

And somebody said to me, I was with this guy I dated, I was in Barcelona when I did this European tour and we were talking about narcissism, went went to dinner before and he's an old ex and we and he was like I'm reading this I was working with a psychiatrist and he has this philosophy that you know every child is a narcissist every child is a narcissist because they have to learn how to get attention and they have to smile and they have to be funny or they have to create drama they have to get attention and I was like I don't think that's the right depiction I go not every child is a narcissist he goes no every person is a narcissist and I was like I don't think that's the right depiction. I go not every child is a narcissist. He goes no every person is a narcissist and I was

like that's not true either that's just simply not true and he's like well you're a narcissist and I said I don't have a problem with you calling me a narcissist because I don't struggle with that identity like I'm not worried about me being a narcissist so you can call me that and if you think that that's okay. My opinion of me is more important than anyone else's anyway. But like a narcissist, if you call a narcissist a narcissist, they will argue with you about it until the fucking sun goes down, you know what I mean?

And they'll get mired in details that have nothing to do with the actual basis of the argument or the conversation. They will talk about the color of the sky and disagree with this and then we'll focus on this. Like, narcissists are so toxic to be around and they exhaust everyone around them and they will never say they're sorry about any of their behavior. Ever. Yeah, absolutely.

They'll justify it till the cows come home. It's incredible. And it's sad. I'm telling you, it's like talking to, it's like trying to negotiate with terrorists. Like, it's, we're never going to win this fight. So. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the only piece that you get is when you stop communicating with that person. Yeah. Well, stop trying to change them. And like, stop trying to have those fights. When you start picking no battles, it's like, oh, okay, it's like such a relief. Yeah, that's very true.

Then they have to go elsewhere for their drama and they can't find it there. So like, it's just always better. And obviously when you share a child with somebody, it's not that easy to just walk away from somebody and not communicate with them, but this parenting app sounds fucking awesome. I'd like to have an app to handle a lot of my relationships.

Yeah. Me too, That'd be great. Okay, we'll be right back with Mal and Ackerman. Kelly Harnett spent over a decade in prison for a murder she says she didn't commit. I'm 100% innocent. While behind bars, she learned the law from scratch. Because, oh, God, her and that jailhouse lawyer. And as she fought for herself, she also became a lifeline for the women locked up alongside her.

You're supposed to have faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her. So many of these women had lived the same stories. I said, were you a victim of domestic violence? And she was like, yeah. But maybe Kelly could change the ending. I said, how many people have gotten other incarcerated individuals out of here?

I'm going to be the first one to do that. This is the story of Kelly Harnett, a woman who spent 12 years fighting not just for her own freedom, but her girlfriends too. I think I have a mission from God to save souls by getting people out of prison. The girlfriends, jailhouse lawyer. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So what happened at Chappaquiddick? Well, it really depends on who you talk to.

There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond. And left a woman behind to drown. There's a famous headline, I think, in the New York Daily News. It's, Teddy escapes, blonde drowns. And in a strange way, right, that sort of tells you. The story really became about Ted's political future, Ted's political hopes.

Will Ted become president? Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control. And he's not the only Kennedy to survive a scandal. The Kennedys have lived through disgrace, affairs, violence, you name it. So is there a curse? Every week we go behind the headlines

and beyond the drama of America's royal family. Listen to United States of Kennedy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. American history is full of wise people. Well, women said something like, you know, 99.99% of war is diarrhea and 1% is glory. Those founding fathers were gossipy AF and they loved to cut each other down. I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, the show where you send us your questions

about American history and I find the answers. Including the nuggets of wisdom our history has to offer. Hamilton pauses and then he says, the greatest man that ever lived was Julius Caesar. And Jefferson writes in his diary, this proves that Hamilton is for a dictator based on corruption. My favorite line was what Neil Armstrong said, it would have been harder to fake it than to do it. Listen to American history hotline on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

From iHeart podcasts and Rococo punch, this is The Turning, River Road. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. Why did I think that way? Why did I allow myself to get so sucked in by this man and thinking to the point that if I died for him, that would be the greatest honor?

But in 2014, the youngest of the girls escaped and sparked an international manhunt. For all those years, you know, he was the predator and I was the prey. And then he became the prey. Listen to The Turning River Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back to wrap things up with Malin Akerman. We're okay, we're very excited. Her show debuts on July 21st.

Is that the date? July 21st on Netflix. Yes, it does. On Netflix. So this is even a better outcome than you started with, I think, ending up on Netflix. It sure is. I think so, yeah. I mean, I think a lot more people have Netflix, and so it's kind of the OG of all the streamers.

So it's great. I'm very excited. I'm very excited. I'm very excited for the world to see this show. I'm also nervous and there's lots of feelings around it, but ultimately I just think that it's a really fun show. I think people are gonna love it. I think it's gonna be a big hit. Oh, thanks.

I hope so. So yes, it's called Haunting Wives. Everybody premieres July 21st on Netflix. Thank you, Malin. I hope I see you soon. I'm gonna text you when I'm in L.A. this summer. Yeah, please do. Are you based in L.A. now?

I'm based in L.A. But of course, we're going away for the summer. We go to Europe for the summer. We go to Sweden and England and visit family and stuff like that, so we'll be gone for a bit of it. All right, well, we'll figure out a time to hook up at some point.

Yeah, that would be awesome. It's so nice to chat with you. Congrats on everything. Thanks, honey. Thank you. It's so nice to chat with you. Congrats on everything. Thanks, honey. Thank you. All right, nice talking to you both. Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August 30th and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th. I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.

It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay? Thank you. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into dearchelseapodcast.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.

The Girlfriends is back with a new season, and this time I'm telling you the story of Kelly Harnett. Kelly spent over a decade in prison for a murder she says she didn't commit. As she fought for her freedom, she taught herself the law. He goes, oh God, Harnett, jailhouse lawyer. And became a beacon of hope for the women locked up alongside her. You're supposed to have faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her. I think I was put here to save souls by getting people out of prison.

The Girlfriends, Jailhouse Lawyer. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts where we dive into the stories that

shape us on the page and off. Each week I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for the rest of my life what that meant. For My Heart podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is The Turning, River Road.

In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to The Turning River Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My uncle Chris was a real character, a garbage truck driver from South Carolina, who is now buried in Panama City alongside the founding families of Panama. He also happens to be

responsible for the craziest night of my life. Wild stories about adventure, romance, crime, history, and war intertwine as I share the tall tales and hard truths that have helped me understand Uncle Chris. Listen now to Uncle Chris on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast.