Dear Chelsea - Tio & Tio with Ross Mathews & Wellinthon Garcia-Mathews

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Ross Mathews & Wellinthon Garcia-Mathews are here to talk about RuPaul’s best advice, early bedtimes, and putting a saddle on life.  Then: A drag performer wrestles with a change of heart about their artform.  A 30-something wants his firefighter boyfriend to open up. And a year-long relationship gets put back in the closet when one woman struggles to tell her family she has a girlfriend.  * Pick up your copy of Tio & Tio in English or en Español! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June, so go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, what's happening? I'm in Whistler. You are in Whistler.

You know what? I feel very connected to Canadians right now because I have started watching heated rivalry. Have you heard about this? No, I have not. Is this a Canadian show? It does feature hockey players. And it's...

I've already lost interest. Truly, it is like a... It's like popping off everywhere right now. Is it stupid? It sounds stupid. It's a romance novel, but a TV show, basically, about these two gay hockey players and she's steamy. Like a Canadian gay telenovela.

Yes. But not a lot of plot if you catch my drift. No, I catch it. It is. I catch it. It is very fun. I am in Canada. I represent Canada now.

I'm going to be representing Canada in the Olympics with curling. That's a winter sport. It's a lifeful. And that's something that I excel at. So I just want everyone who's listening to look out for the Winter Olympics in, I think they're in Cortina? So yes, I'm in Whistler. I haven't skied yet. I think we're going to venture on to the mountain today and just find out where the freezing level is. Me and the girls, because I've spent about the last 48 hours watching movies in my cozy, cozy, cozy cabin. And guess who

comes up on the couch with me here, Doug? He doesn't do that. He does that here. We went for a huge hike yesterday. He fucking loved it. And he came home and he was like, he fell asleep in my lap, wet, soaking wet. I feel like Whistler is his happy place, but also your happy place. Yeah. It's like cold and he's got all his friends there. Yeah. I love to bundle up. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's so lovely. Well, I mean, if you can't ski today, at least you can operate, right? Yeah, well, that's right. That's right, Catherine. That's always an option.

Okay, so we have two very special guests today. We have Emmy Award-winning host and producer, Ross Matthews, an educator and professor, Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews, who is married to Ross. They have a children's book that is out. And Ross has also executive produced a short film called Poorlist, which is currently shortlisted for an Academy Award nomination. That's exciting. Please welcome Ross Matthews and Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews. Hi, I'm sitting here with my good friends, Ross Matthews and Wellington Garcia Matthews. They are a very handsome couple. Very handsome gay couple. Sorry ladies. Yes. They're both taken. Ross, we know from, well, we go way back, from Chelsea Lately days, and then Ross lately.

Yeah. And then Ross, you know now from, he's on the Drew Barrymore show, he's on Rupal's Drag Race, and his husband is a professor. What is your title, exactly? You're a professor of education? Yeah. Oh, well, there I go. He's like, he's super smart.

He's a doctorate. He, you know, is in schools. He's teaching. Everything. Like a real job. Wellington has his shit together. I can attest to that, yes. And you guys were living in a lot.

L.A. and then you moved here. Well, I was living in L.A. I met Wellington on vacation of Porta Vajara back in 2020. On a gay cruise? I wish. I mean, I wish, too, that you were on a gay cruise. One day, I was landlocked. At the time, I was at the Pinnacle, which was a resort in Porta Vierda, and I ordered a breakfast burrito and then out walked Wellington. And he was on vacation too, and then we got married. And so he was your breakfast burrito. Ding, ding, ding. That's why Wellington, beef Wellington. Oh, my God. He didn't. It doesn't seem like he did know that, actually. No, I knew. But that's true. I ordered breakfast breeder and we met and then I moved to New York, or I came to New York to see him and then the Drew show happened and I've been here for five years now. Do you solve your place in Palm Springs? No, we're full East Coast now. Okay, you're full East Coast because this was an unexpected transition for you. You were never going to move to New York. I had no plans. No, I was Palm Springs. I was Calfton. I was happy hour. I was there and I was happy. And then, you know, I say you put a saddle on life and just see where it goes. And so that's what I did. Yippie IA. And that brought me here. And now you love it. I do love it.

And you have a house in Westchester. Yeah, so we're here in the city. But you know me, I've always been like a little, like more Palm Springs in L.A. I've always been a little removed. So I like the farmland up there. I love the country. We're in the middle of nowhere. It's like wooded.

It's like you're turning into Martha Stewart, Ross. That's what I tell you. Something we live near here. We were just invited to the house. We went to look at the peonies. Oh, oh. Did you? Oh, okay.

You did. Not even a joke. We live near her and we see her. Well, she's very social. She likes action. Can I tell you something? Absolutely. You have to be, at that age, listen, if you don't fucking get your shit together and wake up every single day and move around, you're going to fucking fall apart. You're right. You have to get more active the older you get. Do you, are you active? I like, I prefer day outings and I like to be home at night. I like to, I like to drink, have cocktails during the day. I don't love to drink at night and then be hung over. You know what I mean? Like, I like daytime events, socializing, and then being in bed at a reasonable hour. Okay, what time do you make a dinner reservation? Like, what is your dinner time? Well, it depends. where I am in the world. If I'm in Spain, then I go out to dinner at eight o'clock at night.

At night. If I'm in L.A., I can have dinner, I'll turn it into happy hour. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. We like a 545 reservation because then we can, we can like, dilly dally at dinner and we're still home by seven. Right. Yeah. There's still daylight. Yes. But like I was in a Biza for a couple nights and of course I had dinners at 9 p.m. God, that would give me anxiety all day long. But then you're on a different schedule. And then you also wake up at three in the afternoon because you're out to five in the morning. You know what I mean? It's a whole. It's a whole different... When you get older, though,

like my wake-up time is 5.30, and I can go to bed at 9 p.m. or I can go to bed at midnight, and I wake up at 5.30. You know what I'm saying? That's aggressive. Yeah, it is aggressive. So I'm very specific about bedtime

and a dinner time, and I don't go outside the... I don't color outside the lines, Chelsea. It's funny as we get older, like all the things that kind of either cement into habits or don't. Like, I went through a phase

where I would wake up, like, I'm definitely a morning person. Sure. And most people would think the opposite is true. They think, oh, she'll be up at night. For a long period of time, I would wake up every morning, 6 o'clock, 6.30 in the morning, wherever I was in the world. It doesn't surprise me because you achieve a lot. And I think people that do that wake up early.

Okay. Well, thank you. You're welcome. But now I'm going through this phase. And maybe it's because I'm a little jet lagging and I've been traveling. But now I'm going through this phase where I just, like, I'm getting up early. Like, I will get up early, but I have to set an alarm. Like, I never have to set an alarm.

Like, I just know when it's time to go. Sure. You know? Yeah. But like, I would, I crave sleeping in. Like, I want to see. sleep into like 10 or 13 or 11. Nothing past that because then I get a little anxiety.

Yeah, that's never going to happen. I accept that I have lived my life as an active senior since I was young. You know what I mean? I love a sensible shoe. I walk. Do you take Boniva? Not yet, but fingers crossed. And who doesn't love a Wurther's?

I love a hard candy, a caramel. But I also... Are you still allowed to have hard candies? I thought older people are not allowed to have hard candies. Take the dentures out, Chelsea. It's easy. That's nice for a couple of other things, too, taking the dentures out. When you're filled a blowjob

Do you know what that's called If someone takes a denture out and gives you one? Do you what? It's called a velvet rub. I learned that in Palm Springs. Oh. Yeah, yeah, you like that. It's true.

You're welcome. That's pretty. It is pretty. And romantic. No. But I never enjoy it. Anyway, the point is this. I love the way I live my life.

Isn't that funny when you get to a certain age? For me, it was like right now. Like mid-40s is like, I always thought, God, I should be living a different way. And I realize, like, no, this is how I live it. And I really love it. I'm from afar watching your maturation and like life since I've known you for over 20 years.

Weird that we've learned. I think it's great that you've adapted to all of this stuff. You kind of have just gone whichever way the wind blows and, you know, and that's the way you should live life. Yeah, I don't want to fight it. I don't want to fight the universe. I think you should just sort of pay attention to what opens for you. And I think if you're present and you make the most of it and you pivot,

that it can take you, life can take you extraordinary ways. I think people are so rigid and what they think they should be or who they think they should be or who someone wants them to be. And that is exhausting to me. Yeah. How do you see it, Wellington? Like, how do you look at, like, because I think this is an interesting conversation, especially for our listeners, because so many people are so rigid with their goals and

this is what's going to happen by the time I'm 25 and this is what's going to happen. And then I'm going to be married by the time on 30. And then I'm going to have a baby by this time. And I find all of that rigidity to be very... Hostile. Well, it's also, it's narrow. It's narrow minded. Yes.

And I think you miss out while you talk. I totally agree with you. I think it's limiting, you know, because then you were ultimately just caught between a a little box that you're trying to like check off all the time. And so, you know, I'm all about like just getting rid of all that and just doing what you need to do for yourself and whatever makes you happy, right? Yeah, I do think it's important to be goal oriented. But then I just think you will miss stuff if you're not paying attention to everything and open to anything. Yeah, being open though. Like you don't have to, plans can change. Absolutely. And even

goals can change. Yes. And by the way, you can change. And you can change your mind. Right. And how do you feel well you guys just wrote this book first of all congratulations called thank you it's called tio and tio right it's so cute it's uh which means uncle and uncle right in spanish yes because you're your spanish yes yes yes but uh to apart a diaz a year oh wow but no ablo perfectly no uh but i'm doing no very yeah yes yes but i provoke uh todos los los videos. So, yeah. Fill me in. I mean, I'm just trying. Like, I try really hard to learn the language. I'm not there yet, but I get better and better. My issue, I mean, I take classes all the time and I go through phases where I'm just constantly immersing myself in Spanish. But my problem, I can understand it.

I can read it. I can write it, but I can't speak quickly back and forth. I love that you're doing this, though. The one thing I could do in English that's like the easiest thing in the world. It's like, because I'm such a grammarian. I have to say every. everything perfectly. And as soon as I get into a conversation and it goes too quick, I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you can write it because you can delete and perfect. No, I can write it because I am looking at the whole scope of things. And I can really take my time. And it's so if I were talking, I have to speak like, I tango necessitar, Ablar Despacio. Like, I have to speak slowly to get all the words right. So I can't just like math

it up. I think it's so hot that you know. I love that he knows Spanish. When he speaks Spanish, it's so fast and good. And I'm totally lost. That's where I'm going to get at one point. I'm never giving up, so I'll get there. Well, I'll be your private tutor. Thank you. Anytime. My maestro de Español.

I can't even rule my R's. Do you know that? I believe that. That's as good as I can do. So Wellington. Well, wait, first I want to talk about the book. Okay, so Tio and Tio, it's two uncles. It's wrote it for little children who have two uncles.

Well, it's not even about us. It's about our nephews. It's a true story about our nephews who are our ring bears. at our wedding and Wellington saw them doing something at our wedding day and told me after and do you want to tell them? Yeah, so they were literally so nervous walking down the aisle like practicing rehearsing and I saw my brother-in-law kind of just saying, you know, we have to rehearse, we have to practice and they were just literally, no lie, just nervous out of their minds. Like practicing like how do we walk? How do we do it? And the fact that they wanted to take it so

seriously and wanted to contribute to the wedding in like a profound way, like they really wanted do a good job for us. We just thought that was like kind of a great lesson for kids that no matter your age or the impact that you're allowed to have as a kid, you matter to your family in a big way. And taking that role seriously, we thought was a great lesson. In Wellington as an educator, there's a lot of meat on this bone in terms of having a conversation with kids about their importance and their value. And well, not only of their importance of value, but it's also nice that they cared so much about it. Correct. Correct. Like, that's also a good lesson. To care about something means or to be nervous about something means that you do care about it.

Exactly. And that it's okay to be nervous and it's okay to take it seriously and that, you know, you can't have an important role no matter what age you are or whatever role you play in the family. And it was great to write it. And, you know, he's like a really smart at what he does. And so when we decided to write the children's book, I was like, I'm not going to write a story. Let's go. And I was missing out on so much when he would read what we wrote. He's like there's a lot more conversations you can have in terms of. Well, like as a teacher, you know, as a primary teacher that it used to be, it's important to ensure that we have vocabulary in there. Right. So that way our kids are exposed. So the best way to kind of really get kids motivated to actually read is teaching them background knowledge, right? And also bringing up vocabulary. And so in the book, I made sure to like use big words so that way the parents can actually have a talking point, you know, or teachers to have an actual talking point. So a lot of things are in there, especially like even science terms that I put in there about whales and biennas. So those kind of things just come alive in the story, especially the illustrations that Tommy Doyle did, they're just

phenomenal. Honestly, the colors just they just sing. Are you, like, when you, when he talks about kids, it's right, I don't, I don't know if they talk to kids at all. I get anxiety. You know what kids always say to me? Are you a boy or girl? Oh my God. That's so funny. I know. So I'm always like, hi, I try to butcher it up

for kids, you know, so they're not confused. Yeah, but you're butching it up is basically like Doris Day or something. Right? No, I turn into Be Arthur. Praise B. Wellington, tell me about, like, to circle back to what we were talking about, about, like, taking life and being open-minded enough when there are changes, tell me about, like, your relationship with Russ. Did that happen for you? Did that change any of your plans in life? Because you had your career before you met him. You were already living here. Yes. So it was very serendipitous that he actually got that show. Right. To come here. Yeah. It really, I mean, it worked out in terms of my life and what's changed. I still, you know, have the same kind of like nine to five kind of schedule. I work all year around. So not much has changed. The only thing that has changed is that we've been relocating, you know, in terms of finding

that place that we can really call home, you know, and it was important for me to have him really grounded, you know, and to feel like this is his home. Because I know how much he's left behind in order to bring himself here. So I wanted to make sure that that was just part of the equation. And so he's just phenomenal, as you know, he's genuine, the sweetest person I've ever, ever have encountered in my life. And that's, and I'm not lying, he's hysterical. Hilarious, Ross Matthews, there's a reason why he's always, always makes me laugh, no matter what, you know, that's our love language, honestly. And I think that's what really keeps us together. And he's so positive. And honestly, I thought that it was all like a gimmick. But no, this is him.

This is him 100% And I really do enjoy that Wouldn't it be so sweet baby Wouldn't it be fun though If I was awful When it all turned off I'm sure some people are though I'm sure some people are acting night

I mean hello Yeah We were like nodding Because I think we know But I mean Everyone knows that You know there's a big facade That people put on

So it's really nice to know That there is a genuineness That you can actually be an upbeat person And mean it You're not faking it You know Totally and not a Pollyanna I don't want to be a Pollyanna

If something sucks, we can say it sucks, you know, but like right away, pivot to what can we do to make it better, you know? I've always, it served me well to always sort of vibrate in a place of happiness. It's always served me. And by the way, he does too. And I think it's important to me to be with somebody who is very, um, really that, you know, that's always number one. Good looking. Good looking. No, but really is fluid in their energy. Does that make sense like somebody who's like really rigid in who they are and want it their way and that's not fun it's not because i like to sort of say like um how do we feel about this let's let's talk it out and work it out oh god you would hate being with me chelsea you would have hate it i think yeah i forgot i wanted to

yeah i mean yeah i i don't have the attention span for that do you think if i was straight back in the day that you and i would have hooked up i can't even imagine that possibility you can't I never thought about it late at night. It's very hard for me to suspend my disbelief in such a way. Am I right? But, I mean, I do appreciate having the attitude of like, not the attitude of gratitude, A, that is true. Life is better when you're in a better mood, period. As soon as you're in a shitty mood, everything goes wrong.

Yeah, and you can control that a little bit. You can. Perspective, a couple breaths. You can decide how you react. It's like if you, you know, you missed your flight. Like, there's two ways to handle that. If you fucking want to throw a fit, then you're going to be in that space for a long time. You're going to affect other people in a negative way.

You're going to, you know, or you can be like, whoopsie-doodle, I miss my flight. Now what? Let's go to the bar. Let's go get a book or let's go have a good day at the airport. Yeah. So, like, there's two ways to handle everything. But it's hard to remember that sometimes. It is.

It is. But I don't know. It's really served me so well, I think, in life. Yeah, absolutely. As we can see. Wow. Thanks. And so what was your biggest thing that you did?

Was there anything when you guys got together that you had to overcome that was like a problem? Hmm. What do we fight about? Like what's our biggest? Wellington's big penis in your choice? Oh my God. Was that a big fight? Was that a fight?

I'm sorry. We were talking about a children's book now. Madam. Do you know the worst thing that I do? What? So I have a small chihuahua. Of course, Audrey. She has bold eyebrows.

She's named after Audrey Hepburn. And I take her out for poopsies. and pee-pies every day multiple times through the back door. And I lock it when I leave when I come back in, you know, because I'm a protector and I want to make sure everyone's safe. And so whenever well he goes out to the pool, I lock the door, you know. And so he tries to come in and multiple times a week, he's pounding on the back door to be let in because instinctually I just lock it. That is the most annoying thing that I do. That is annoying. That is annoying. I'm like, it's just us.

Seriously, right. What is going on? So can you stop doing that? I tell myself to stop doing it all the time. Maybe you can get hypnotized. That's my new answer to everybody who's got problems. Oh my God, I would get hypnotized. I don't want to do it like on a cruise.

There's a hypnotist for everything. But I would want an independent party watching me get hypnotized. I don't be alone in a room with somebody hypnotizing me and then wake up what happened. Right. I want it filmed. I'm sure there's that too. You could probably hire a third party person that watches you get hypnotized so that you don't get like finger blasted.

while you're getting at the time. Oh my God. You know what I mean? There has to be. Do you know how long I've heard the term finger blasted? I want to thank you for bringing it back. No problem. Single-handedly. I was, I know, single-figuredly. I was with this woman the other night, this German woman who was telling me that she had this adult onset fear of flying, that she's flown all over the world, and she's never had an issue. And she's like, and now I'm scared to death of flying. And I'm like, you have to go get hypnotized. And she's like, hypnotized. What do you mean? I'm like, there's hypnotists all over the world that to help you with flying. especially if it's an adult-onset thing,

like if it just started, the sooner you nip it in the bud, the sooner you can get rid of it is my philosophy. Sure. I would think if you all of a sudden have this crazy fear that you can... Anyway, this woman emailed me this morning and she's like, oh my God,

I found a hypnotist in Germany, I'm going, it's three sessions, three separate weeks, I have to go for three weeks in a row. And she's like, thank you so much. I had no idea about hypnotists. And I'm like, really? I'm like, are we just only getting...

Are there only hypnotists in Los Angeles? Apparently, I've never heard of them. Like, what about Switzerland? and they've got to be up to some shit like that too. But it's not the first place I go to to think hypnotist. Have you had a hypnotist experience that really worked for you? Yeah, for smoking. I mean, now I'll smoke once in a while, but I didn't smoke for 10 years.

And a hypnotist did it. Yeah, three times I went to Dr. Kerry Gaynor in L.A. Okay. And he was for smoking, but I'm sure he did planes too. You know what I mean? Can I ask a question? When you're hypnotized, do you feel what's happening? Are you aware of everything as it's going?

I was. But you are involuntarily responding to them? You're in a very relaxed state. So while you're like going, okay, 10, 9, 8, you're going down the stairs. You're going down another set of stairs. They're just getting you to the most relaxed state. You're still conscious. Like you're aware of what's going on.

You're just trusting the technique. Like you're just like, it's not like he could have fucked me and I wouldn't have known. I was awake but choosing to go along with it. Like I was like, there's no way this is going to work, but it did. And on the third time, you know, The third time is the time where you're done. Like, then you quit smoking. Like, the first time he tells you about how disgusting smoking is, blah, blah, blah, you're gross.

You're polluting your lungs. You're putting, you might as well be like breathing in carcinogens. You're like, oh, my God, I feel like such a dirty whore. Yeah. You're gross. And then on the third time, he's like, okay, you won't have, you won't, you won't, I'm like, can I hang out with my friends that smoke? Do I have to avoid them?

He's like, no, no, no, you'll never want to have a cigarette. And for 10 years, I really did it. Wow. Now, once in a while, if I'm in Europe and people are smoking, I'll smoke a cigarette here or there. Europe doesn't count. Yeah, I don't think you can get cancer in Europe. I don't think that's what I keep telling myself. This is fascinating, Chelsea, that you did get.

I want to try it. But you could do it for all sorts of things. Like if people have, like, I have arachnaphobia. I don't have arachnophobia. I'm scared of snakes. Yes, I don't like that. But I'm not going to a hypnotist about that because it's not like I'm running into snakes all of that. Exactly.

Who are you? Steve Irwin, it's not happening. Right, right. I'm actually been to Erwin. Okay. So, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.

I love that. I relate most to her. Understood. out of the family. You could go for like, if you're a picker, you know, you pick your skin and your nails and you need to get hypnotized for that. I would do it. It's all sorts of bad habits, basically. I wonder if they have a hypnotist specifically for people who lock the door behind their chihuahua.

You know what I'm saying? I think you just need to hide a key for that. I think we need to change the back. Or you could get a collar for Ross to wear and every time the door is locked, you zap Ross. Yes. Like a chihuahua collar. so that you don't go out of bounds. That's actually much quicker way to get to the point.

Because I bet you he won't make that mistake more than twice. Or I'll just keep making it because I like it a little bit. Or you put the collar in a different area. Oh, my God. But I would try hypnosis. That sounds fun. Yeah, I think, well, now, Ozempic or whatever GLS5, whatever anyone's on, I take terseptide.

But now those things kind of cut out all of the bad habits too. So if you have a, like if you're a sugar addict, if you're an alcoholic, If you're a drug addict, a lot of people take those and then they don't. They don't have, like, I know when I started taking OZepic, I completely could not drink vodka. I was so grossed out. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not going to stop drinking. Like, I'm going to find a workaround. Yeah, get this medicine out of me.

So then I started drinking gin, tankeret gin. And I was like, oh, I can drink this. So I'll drink that. Really? Yeah. So it kind of like changes your appetite for things. Interesting. But if you're an addict, it can make you really not want anything.

Fascinating. So that's good, you know. Okay. I mean, people, that's the biggest problem, I think, is the food, alcohol, drug, sugar addiction, all that shit, right? Thank God I shared that riveting Chihuahua lock door story. It brought us all the way here. I know. You know? It's a full circle moment. What a risk I took and it paid off. Time to take a Chihuahua break. We'll be right back with Tom. We'll be right back with Tom Brocah, everybody, and Tom Selleck. Okay.

We'll be right back with Tom and his Chihuahua. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, How Southwest Airlines Use Cheap Seats and Free Whiskey. to fight its way into the airline business.

The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments

of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. May 24th, 1990, a pipe bomb explodes in the front seat of environmental activist Judy Berry's car. I knew it was a bomb the second that it exploded. I felt it ripped through me with just a force more powerful and terrible than anything that I could describe.

In season two of Rip Current, we ask, who tried to kill Judy Barry? And why? She received death threats before the bombing. She received more stress after the bombing. The man and woman who were heard had planned to lead a summer of militant protest against logging practices in Northern California. They were climbing trees and they were sabotaging logging equipment in the woods. The timber industry, I mean, it was the number one industry in the area, but more than it was the culture. It was the way of life. I think that this is a deliberate attempt to sabotage our movement. Episodes of Rip Current Season 2 are available now. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Podcasts. Ilana is a spirit. It's not just a city. I didn't really have an interest of being on air. I kind of was up there to just try and infiltrate the building. It's where Kronk was born

in a club in the West End. Four world star. It was 559. Where a tiny bar birthed a generation of rap stars, where preachers go viral, and students at the HBCU turned heartbreak into resurrection.

How do you get people to believe in something that's dead? Where Dream was brought Hollywood to the South. and hustlers bring their visions to create black wealth. Nobody's rushing into relationships with you. Where are you from? They want to look in the eye.

Where the future is nostalgia. Talk to the chat, GPT. She's like, you really did first lady to have a gayfrey girl's tape in Atlanta, Georgia. Like, that's what separates you from a lot of people. And I'm like, oh, what, you're right. Atlanta doesn't wait for permission. It builds its own spotlight. I'm Big Rube.

Let us guide you through the stories behind Atlanta's most iconic moments. Listen to Atlanta is on the I-Heart Radio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. For 25 years, I've explored what it means to heal, not just for myself, but alongside others. I'm Mike Delocho. This is Sacred Lessons, a space for reflection, growth, and collective healing. What do you tell men that are hurting right now?

Everything's going to be okay on the other side, you know, just push through it. And, you know, ironically, the root of the word spirit is breath. Wow. Which is why one of the most revolutionary acts that we can do as people just breathe. Next to the wound is their gifts. You can't even find your gifts unless you go through the wound. That's the hard thing. You think, well, I'm going to get my guess.

I don't want to go through all that. You've got to go through the wounds you're laughing. Listening to other people's near-death experiences, and it's all they say. In conclusion, love is the answer. Listen to sacred lessons as part of the Maikutura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. If one of us wins, we all win. I'm Ashley Reifeld, and I'm the host of the women's skateboarding podcast.

Good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record, part news brief, mostly group therapy, and a place to talk about the past, present, and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vasconcelos, and Alex White, we have Bobiana Delphino. on the show, a professional skateboarder from Florida whose grit was forged in a family of athletes. Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys' club, what it takes to be pro,

and why just being grateful you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago because that's when they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the year, stacking clips and receipts and still having to prove your worth while the industry catches up. You break down the door, sick now like hold the door for everyone.

we created good luck with that because we want to share our experience existing in an industry that wasn't always built for everyone. So listen to good luck with that on IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Okay, we're back with Wellington and Ross, and who are a happily married couple. How many years have you guys been married now? We've got three years now. Oh, I've been together five years. Yeah.

Oh, it feels like longer than that. It does. It feels like, I mean, that seems. it doesn't seem like a short time five years together, but I do feel like life really began when I met Wellington for me. It really, in terms of it all coming together and being myself and... And finding home.

Yeah, really finding home. Great way to say it, really. I feel that way too, because when I think of you, I always think of Wellington. Like, you're a fixture, you're like a cup, you know, it's not one or the other. You guys come together as a package. And I understand what you're saying when you say life began with him.

Because I think a lot of people who are in really healthy, grounded relationships, like that's when their life began. I remember being young and not thinking my life was going to begin until I was successful. Like that for me was a marker. I'm like, oh, this is all just practice until I begin my real life. Totally. And that's not to discount who we were before we met each other. All of that was important. We mattered. We were there. But in terms, I mean, Rupal told me one time that life begins really when you're 40. And I didn't understand what that meant until I was 40 and I happened to meet Wellington then as well. And it really is about you, you

you have made all the mistakes. Right. You know, and so you've touched the stove. You know it was hot. You're not going to touch it again. Right, right. You stop doing the... Well, most of us, too.

Some people don't stop doing anything. Well, I think that's when you become a grown-up. Like blocking doors. Yeah, when you start doing... Stop doing the shit that hurts you. That's when I think you really become a grown-up. Yeah. I feel like when I turned 50 this year, that was like, okay, I'm a woman.

Like, a full-fledged woman. Like, you can't tell me. Not that you couldn't tell... you could tell me what to do before, but there's a different, there's a different maturity. Like, I'm not responsible for your feelings. I don't overthink things. I'm not over-analyzing anything. You're not going to break me. I'm too strong and fierce. So what is that, you describe what it's like, but what does it feel like to be on that place, to be, to have that sort of power? Just feel so strong. Like, I just feel like,

me fruity, you know, like, like a tree. Like, I just feel like a real, like, sturdy tree. Like, I can be annoyed. I can be tired. I can get bad news. I can be all of those things, but you're really, like, I'm kind of unshakable at this point. And not kind of. I am unshakable at this point. Like, you're not going to get me. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

Yeah. And it would knock me over. Before I felt like, oh, I could go through phases where I was weak or I was, I was emotional, or I would be fragile. And it's like, no, no, no, I'm not, even if I'm experiencing one of those things, that is just a little, like, it's not a, it's not going to affect me. No, it doesn't mean, yeah. It's not a point of weakness or someone could shatter something. It's just you're feeling it, but it's in strength. I get it what you're saying.

And I notice it now more than I feel this way when I meet people who are very fragile or seemingly vulnerable, more vulnerable. I'm like, oh, I hope this woman gets to that place where she understands her, your essence and your worth. And yeah, you're worth. Like there's enough you've gotten so far in this life and it's because of your actions. Right. Absolutely.

And I think if people are listening to this and they're feeling weak or fragile, like, just know that that's not a state that they have to be in forever. No. You will eventually get to a place of strength. Right. And you also start making, like, I like the decisions I make when no one's watching. Like, I'm proud of who I am when nobody is looking or watching, that I do the right thing, that I'm morally correct, that I'm actually doing what's best for everyone, that I don't lie, that I don't try to get out of things by lying. Like, I'm always up front. and I, like, I respect myself because of that.

Uh-huh. You know what I mean? It's like when I see a piece of garbage or something and I pick it up and no one's around, I think, God, I'm good. I am so good. That's right. That's exactly the kind of shit I'm talking about. You're good deed of the day.

What? Your good deed of the day. Yeah. You know, but it really is. Those little things matter, even if nobody's looking, you know, in terms of what kind of person you want to be. I guess maybe in my head I feel like somebody's looking. So I'm maybe.

Well, somebody is. You're looking. Yeah. I guess my, it's, I'm the one who's looking. Like I'm always like, oh, okay, because I'm like, God, you know, when you think about that, I think there's a period of time in your life where you're starting to, you want to be accountable, but you're like, who am I accountable to? And I think the answer is you're accountable to yourself, really. It's so true. I do that all the time where I tell him something that I'm doing because I, like,

if we're out and we go to dinner, I have a martini, we come home and I have like, I don't want to hang over tomorrow, so I'll pour just, I just want like a sparkling water with lemon. But I'll say to him, I'm not having a drink. I'm just having sparkling water with lemon. He's like, okay. Okay, right, right. Great, do it. Why are you talking? Do you live on the edge? Go ahead.

But I'm like, I need to say, like, look, I'm doing the right thing. Isn't that annoying? Well, first of all, you can tell it's not a drink because there's no fucking ice in it, right? Well, no, I still put ice in everything. Oh, you do? I don't like a hot beverage ever. No, no, no, no. Honey, you don't have to tell me twice.

Thank you. But when it's cold, sparkling water, that's the only thing I don't need ice in. If it's really cold sparkling water, I don't need the ice. Because I find that the ice dilutes the bubbles. Fine with that, Edmore. You know, I can be in the middle of a blizzard, and I'm having a nice to AmeriConnor. I don't want, listen, I just got back from Europe. You don't have to talk to me about ice. Do you want to bring your own?

I want, yeah, the icebergs are melting. And my big idea is to turn those into fucking ice cubes. Okay. What do we have going on, Catherine? We have a couple great callers. Our first caller is Joey. Okay. He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm listening to your podcast while doing my ketamine therapy dog walk, and I'm wondering if you have any advice for me. I'm a 39-year-old bartender and recovering drug addict, and my partner is a 35-year-old firefighter paramedic-slash-walking Excel spreadsheet.

He doesn't seem to be interested in getting in touch with his quote-unquote feelings, and I've been pushing him to connect and all that to benefit our relationship over the past six years. But how do I, an ADHD, emotionally unstable piece of swamp trash, convince him a successful and literal lifesaver of the importance of emotional vulnerability and connection. He has literally said, it just sucks that the thing I need to work on, quote-unquote, happens to be what makes me so good at my job. Am I crazy? He thinks that being a dismissive avoidant has given him a leg up in his career.

I think he's robbing himself in the long run. This man is amazing, and I love him to death. However, I can't seem to gain any traction with the idea that emotions are important. I'm not asking him to cry while he intubates a patient. I just think he could be a better human, partner, medic, and leader if he were able to allow himself to feel with boundaries instead of not at all. I don't know. Maybe it's the K. Should I lace his smoothie with LSD? Cheers, Joey. Hi, Joey. How are you? Good. How are you? Good. Lawson Wellington are here today. Hi. We can best of guests. Hi. Hi. I mean, well, they can speak to being in a couple. But I mean, it's really not your job to get somebody else to figure out what their emotional mindset is. going to is or their growth mindset is going to be. Like everyone has to kind of come on to that they're in their own way. And if they decide to do it, some people never do it. But it's really hard to be told you have to get better with your emotions. Yeah. Listen, I think it's great that

you have sort of said to your partner like, hey, this is what I think you'd benefit from this. But it's kind of up to him to be who we or him or I guess a him, right? Yeah. I just assume right. we don't have any straight men calling into this podcast but it's up to them to be who they are and like the truth is you kind of have to like decide that you just love them as is too if they don't have any growth you know you can encourage it but you can't dictate it yeah i i like work on myself so much and so when i see someone who's just like nope i like the way i like me the way i am if you want someone more emotionally available you know go find them i'm like really well there's also this thing with like a spiritual like I'm not saying you're a spiritual narcissist but there can be people when they're working on themselves they can kind of have a superiority complex thinking oh look at all this work I'm doing you're taking ketamine walks with the dog you're in touch with yourself emotionally like oh why you need to work on yourself it's kind of like you don't get to tell somebody else what what work they need to do if you're going to be in that relationship with him you can leave him and then be like oh yeah you're not mature enough

or spiritual enough or emotionally in touch with yourself enough. But if you're in the relationship and you're choosing to be there and you're doing your work, if anything, you should be focusing on your work and that's it. And that's going to lead you to a place of either acceptance or you're going to be like, oh, I reject this relationship. I need somebody who's more in touch with their emotions. It's almost like, like, just to relate it to something, if you were like renovating your house and you were really proud of your brand new kitchen and you went into somebody else's

house and kitchen and told them they needed to renovate it, it's just not fair. You know what I'm saying? Like that's their kitchen and they've got their choice with how to decorate. And so, you know, I think take care of you and decide if you can live with somebody like that. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I hear you on that for sure. Yeah. I like your kitchen, by the way. I can see it. I've done tons of work on my kitchen. You don't need to do a single thing more. If you don't like it, you can leave. Yeah, understood. How long have you been taking ketamine? Probably like a year. How frequently do you take it? Maybe twice a month. Oh, that sounds good. How does that help you? I'm not, I don't know the benefits of it necessarily. Can you tell us? So for me, like, I've always just hated myself a lot. And, uh, and you get these lenses that you built up. And ketamine just like disassociates you from yourself and all those lenses that you have, like faggot, idiot, stupid. Whatever. You've got that you see yourself warped, you know. It takes them all the way so you can see what other people see, I guess. And it can be really powerful. Oh, that's beautiful. Wow. I'm so glad you're able to see what we see. We've known you for 35 seconds. And I don't think any of those words. Okay. So just so you know, I'm glad I'm glad you can see that. I appreciate it. It has come to that point where I have to either accept it, except this man, which I always have. It just does get frustrating because I'm like, I go to therapy every fucking week and like look for things to fix about me. Right, right. But that's you. And also like some people don't run into that roadblock at the time that you want them to run into that. roadblock, like people only do the work on themselves when they realize something's not working

for them. They're not just going to go. Like, if everything's going great for him and his boyfriend is saying, oh, you need to go to therapy, that's not enough of a reason unless there's major problems between the two of you. And then he would have a choice about whether or not he wants to go talk about it. But like, it's really not up to us to tell other people what to do with their emotions. Yeah. I think you could suggest once or twice, but then we just have to let people who they are, you know? It's when it like, you know, pops up, say, like, intimacy, right, is really hard if you're not willing to be vulnerable. So, so I crave that intimacy. And that's whenever I kind of end up mentioning something about, God, like, I just want you

to be here, present, emotionally vulnerable. And he has a really hard time doing it. And he doesn't want to change that because he's an amazing hero. Wow. Well, I mean, it's also, maybe you define vulnerability differently, you know, and you can't dictate that for somebody else. So I would just work on maybe, maybe just seeing him for who he is and value him for that. Yeah, I know. I do love this person. I just, uh, I knew that I needed some outside perspective. So.

Well, I hope he gave it to you. Yeah, yeah, definitely. All right. All right. Thanks for calling in. Thank you, Joey. Yeah, thank you. Bye, Joey.

Bye. I feel like there often is like one partner who is a little bit more emotional and one who's less emotional. Like my parents, my dad. my dad is much more emotional than my mom is. I'm more emotional than my husband is. Well, definitely. There's different levels of emotion, but there's also being in touch with your emotions. That's true. Certain people, because that's a total lack of intimacy too. Before I went to therapy, I didn't have any intimacy with any of my partners. There was no intimacy because I wasn't

vulnerable. I was invulnerable. So like those things do go together, but some people go through life like that and that doesn't seem to be a problem. I mean, for them, you know, you have to hit a wall of some sort. You absolutely do. I mean, well, that's life, right? And that's what we were talking about earlier in the show is you're making those mistakes. You're learning those lessons and becoming who you want to be. Do you feel totally vulnerable now? Are you able to go to that place when you're with somebody? Yeah.

But I mean, I could go to that place with somebody that's a non-romantic partner, but I'd have to really be. Yeah, I can go there with anybody really. Yeah. I don't have to be in love with somebody to be like vulnerable or like, yeah. Yeah. But I'm also, I'm just not that vulnerable. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean.

That's why I'm saying you have to define it for each individual. Right. Right. It's like I don't want, yeah. Like if I think about my desires about connecting with a man, it's not on, it's not that level. Like, I don't need to be looking into your eyes and you telling me how much I love you and I say it better. You're in the room. It's a totally different vibe for me. Exactly. Is love. I think so too. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Like I don't need to be sobbing in your arms and reaping as we hold each other. Exactly. To be intimate. Yeah, that's a bit much for me. I'm good. And for most of us, quite frankly. What else we got, Catherine? Well, our next.

next caller is Heather, and she says, Dear Chelsea. I started doing drag in 2014, a few years after moving to San Francisco from the South. Perpetually a late bloomer, I was 39 when I started, and it took that long for me to realize I could be a drag queen as a cis woman. I quickly joined a weekly show at midnight on a Tuesday at one of San Francisco's oldest gay bars, the stud, as well as other gigs as I could get them. It was never my full-time job, but it did use a significant amount of my time and creativity. In return, I discovered my sexuality, sense of gender, a great group of friends, a newfound confidence, wild creativity, and a best friend who became my wife now of over five years. When COVID hit, both my wife and I stopped

doing drag almost entirely. In 2022, we moved to Portland, Oregon, a place with lots of drag opportunities. Both of us miss what drag brought to our lives, so we sought out some easy opportunities to perform, primarily at a community center, which has a great big audience, but is low pressure. But something's changed. The problem I'm finding is that shows now cause me complete overwhelm, exhaustion, and a feeling of burnout since I'm doing just one show every few months. One of the big hurdles is the makeup. You know when you do bat-winged eyeliner every day and it's so easy, and if you stop for a while, it's a hot mess, imagine that, but a whole face that takes one to two hours. I also get too involved in helping run the show, which leaves me

exhausted rather than invigorated. I love going to group rehearsals and thinking of numbers, then preparing and during the show I have anxiety and a sense of dread. Is it time for me to let go of drag entirely? I'm forever grateful for all it's given me. Even the few shows I've done in Portland have led to friendships and community. Meaning people in the dressing room of a drag show is my favorite way to meet people. Love Heather, aka Bammaslamma ding dong.

Okay, this Ross is over to you. Oh, well, hi. Ross is our in-house drag expert. Well, I've seen a lot of great drag on RuPaul's Drag Race up close. Hi, Heather. How are you? Hi, big fans of all of you. Thank you. I love that you do drag.

Drag is for everybody and it's such a beautiful art form, but it is a lot of work. You know, these queens we have on Drag Race have spent years, some decades, perfecting the art, and it still takes them forever to do their makeup and think of the numbers and so much goes into it. Listen, I think, well, I know that drag has brought a lot. into your life and you've loved it, you've enjoyed it. But the truth is, it is an extra-critical activity for you, right? Right. And so those are meant to bring you joy. So if it's not bringing you joy right now, I think you have to adjust how you're approaching it. If you're liking the picking the songs and then that, maybe you're helping out at drag shows. You know,

there's the people that are so integral to those drag shows and drag brunches who help out in the backstage or carry the tip jar around or help the queens. There's ways you can be involved with the art form if the actual art form itself isn't bringing you the joy you need. what it brought you is still there, whether you're in drag or not. Right. And I have tried that. I've done stage manager and things like that.

At the end of the day, the spotlight is important, you know? So I guess I'm trying to figure out, yeah, what is the next step where I can still be involved? I see other drag queens do stand-up comedy or move on to other things, music. All that takes effort to.

So it's hard to put into words what drag brings to you. You know, it brings such a power and a different element. Can you tell us what it brought to you? Like, what did it feel like when you were in that spot, like in drag? Like, what were you drawn to? It just multiplies confidence, you know, so much. And you get to live out every fantasy of, you know, look like Barbie, look like an alien, that kind of extreme creativity, I do love.

I feel like that it'll be figured out. And I do agree with you. There's plenty to do to support the shows. Chelsea, you've talked before about having to take a break from stand-up when it was like not feeling life-giving to you. Can you talk a little bit about that and what brought you back to it? I mean, I just feel like sometimes if you're not feeling something, you shouldn't struggle with it, you know,

don't like fight it to the death. Take a break and walk away. And sometimes you get a fresh perspective. Not sometimes, almost every time. It's almost like writers block a little bit. Maybe you're having drag block. Yeah.

Maybe you are. I like that. I mean, there is true to that. I think it's always healthy to take a break. I mean, if something's not giving you the same vibes that it gave you, then yeah,

there's nothing wrong with taking a break. And it doesn't have to be like you're broken up. It's just like you're taking a break, you know? Art is work. but it also should bring you joy and pride, you know? And so maybe a little distance would help that. Yeah. If you miss it in a few weeks or a few months, you check in with yourself. Do you miss it? Do you want to go back? Do you feel the urge? Do you want to go see a show and not participate in one? Or do you want to be in one? And just check in with yourself, even write about it, journal about it

that night before you go to bed. Do I miss drag today? No, I don't. What am I feeling today? And just kind of keep an emotional kind of record of how you're feeling. And that'll give you all the indicators you kind of need to know. I think a lot of us aren't, are just not in the practice of listening to ourselves as well as we should. And if you really are with yourself and you give yourself time to digest something and to think about something and really like, okay, I have an hour free today. I'm going to think about how I feel about drag. Like really dedicate the time that it deserves to be thought about and considered and contemplate it. And then you'll come up with your answer, whether or not you're ready to give it up or you want to go back at it fully or

in a different way. Yeah, I've had a lot of stress in my life over the last year. And one thing I am looking for is that kind of escape and outlet. So release, right, what you're talking about. I think it also gives me an opportunity, try other things. Sure. Yeah, absolutely. And it should be fun, right? You need to release. You need to have a good time. It should be fun, whatever you choose to do and how you spend that time. Sure, sure. All right, Heather, thanks so much for calling in. Thank you, Heather. Good luck, Heather. Thank you. Is there an art that you wish you were like that you could do, you know? Yeah, of course. Anything. I wish I could do anything. I wish I could sing. I wish I could sing. I wish I could dance. I would be a good dancer. This one can move

like the win. I've seen you dance. I've seen you dance Wellington. This summer I was like I I love drawing. I was like, I really want to get good at it. I want to become like an artist, you know. And so I bought like the markers and the pen and the paints and the things. And I'm just terrible. No, he's not. I sit in my room and then I crumple it up and I'm like, that is awful and I throw it away.

What are you doing? What kind of art? What do you mean markers? I want to, like, well, I saw this woman on TikTok who is so incredible what she can draw. And I said, what do you? I messaged her, right? The total stranger. I said, what do you use?

She told me the pens and they say, do you have any advice because I would love to draw like you? And she said, just start. So I was like, oh, shit. So I went and I got it. And I am just, I'm so bad at it. But I look at the, well, I thank you. But it's really, it's not coming out the way I want to do it, you know? And it's so frustrating.

But that's because you've never done it before and you're over 40. You got to keep at it. I guess so. But I don't get visions in my head. And then the execution is just awful. Yeah, but you'll get there. You have to, you're not just going to start doing something and be amazing at it. Well, that's how it should be.

That's what I mean. If that were life, then we'd all just be doing whatever the fuck we want it all the time. That's true. You have to put in the time to get the results. I guess you're true. So don't give up on yourself yet. Okay. But, but to Heather's point, like, it's, it is frustrated. This art that I love, I do find it also very frustrating. So I was relating to, to Heather when she was talking about drag. And I just think, but if you want to love it, to your point, you've got to get in there. But that's how I feel about Spanish. It's so frustrating to me that it's taking me so long to become, like, fluent, fluent. But I love it. I'm not going to quit. And I'm not there yet. And I have to

always go, you're learning, like, even when I fuck up or I'm taking a test and I'm like, oh, I got eight answers wrong at a 20 and fuck. At least I, like, you learn something with every mistake. Okay. So, like, we're going to make sure we give you the T-O-N-T in Spanish because it comes out in Spanish as well. Oh, it does. Oh, we'll send you a Spanish one. Oh, no point to Esperlaro. See, and Drew actually wrote the foreword to it. Oh, did she even, we translated it from her as well. And I read the audio in Spanish and he does the English version. Oh, nice. Yeah. So two and teal. I'll send you a picture, too.

I'll draw you. Oh, my God. With your markers. They're good markers, too. Catherine, do we have a time for another call or what's our story? With your markers. We can take a break and I have one more question. All right.

We'll take a break and we'll be right back. I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. and some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing.

It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons.

so many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Lama is a spirit. It's not just a city. I didn't really have an interest of being on air. I kind of was up there to just try and infiltrate the building. It's where Kronk was Born in a club in the West End. Four world star.

It was five, five, nine. Where a tiny bar birthed a generation of rap stars, where preachers go viral, and students at the HBCU turned heartbreak in the resurrection. How do you get people to believe in something that's dead? Where Dreamers brought Hollywood to the

South, and hustlers bring their visions to create black wealth. Nobody's rushing into relationships with you. Where are you from? They want to look in the eye. Where the future is nostalgia. Talk to the chat, GPT. She's like, you really did first. First lady to have a gayful girl's tape in Atlanta, Georgia. Like, that's what separates you from a lot of people.

And I'm like, oh, what, you're right? Atlanta doesn't wait for permission. It builds its own spotlight. I'm Big Rube. Let us guide you through the stories behind Atlanta's most iconic moments. Listen to Atlanta is on the I-Hard Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. May 24th, 1990, a pipe bomb explodes in the front seat of environmental activist Judy Barry's

car. I knew it was a bomb the second that it exploded. I felt it ripped through me with just a force more powerful and terrible than anything that I could describe. In season two of Ripcurrent, we asked, who tried to kill Judy Berry and why? She received death threats before the bombing. She received more threats after the bombing. The man and woman who were heard had planned to lead a summer of militant protest against logging practices in northern California. They were climbing trees and they were sabotaging logging equipment in the woods. The timber industry, I mean, it was the number one industry in the area, but more than it was the culture.

It was the way of life. I think that this is a deliberate attempt to sabotage our movement. Episodes of Rip Current Season 2 are available now. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For 25 years, I've explored what it means to heal, not just for myself, but along Alongside others, I'm Mike De La Rocha. This is Sacred Lessons, a space for reflection, growth, and collective healing. What do you tell men that are hurting right now?

Everything's going to be okay on the other side, you know, just push through it. And you know, ironically, the root of the word spirit is breath. Wow. Which is why one of the most revolutionary acts that we can do as people just breathe. Next to the wound is there are gifts. You can't even find your gifts unless you go through the wound. That's the hard thing. You think, well, I'm going to get my guess.

I don't want to go through all that. You've got to go through the wounds you're laughing. Listening to other people's near-death experiences, and it's all they say. In conclusion, love is the answer. Listen to sacred lessons as part of the My Coutura podcast network, available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. If one of us wins, we all win. I'm Ashley Reinfeld, and I'm the host of the Women's Scape

podcast, good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record, part news brief, mostly group therapy, and a place to talk about the past, present, and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vascenzelos and Alex White, we have Fabiana Delfino on the show, a professional skateboarder from Florida, whose grit was forged in a family of athletes. Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys club, what it takes to be pro, and why just being grateful you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago, because that's when

they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the years, stacking clips and receipts, and still having to prove your worth while the industry catches up. You break down the door, sick now, like, hold the door for everyone. We created good luck with that because we want to share our experience of existing in an industry that wasn't always built for everyone. So listen to good luck with that on IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

And we're back with Tio and Tio. Remind me to send Ross a new magic marker set for his journey. And I'm going to use markers in my Spanish workbook also. I'm going to tell you to send you these markers. They're beautiful markers. They have a great flow. Are they thin markers or thick markers? Yes.

Uh-huh. It's about how you angle your hand. There's a fine point. Yes. Yes. Well, our last question comes from Cassidy. This is just an email. She says, Dear Chelsea.

I have been with my girlfriend for a year. In gay fashion, we often talk about the future, marriage, and what to burn in case of sudden death. For the last few months, she's told me for her birthday she wanted to tell her family about me. She has four sisters. One I know and is fully supportive, and the second is deeply Catholic and not a factor we care about. The other two, however, are a different story. She told her youngest first, which was easy. She was curious, supportive, and kind.

Then she told the oldest. After a long silence, she asked that their parents not be told since her mom is, quote, a worrier. My girlfriend's plan is to bring me around as her, quote, friend. I declined this option. She deeply needs her older sister's approval for most things in her life, which is my main concern. I am, in other people's words, fiercely independent. Admitting these recent events made me incredibly sad was difficult. She swears it's not if, but when. I want to be with her, but how do I feel better about this? The reasoning seems trivial and like it's not her decision, but her sisters. What else will be up to her sister in the future? For context, she's 37 and I'm 32.

She's never brought someone home and they weren't aware she's gay. I get it coming out as hard, but why am I so sad about it? I'm writing this on my couch as she's at dinner with her family, the one she planned on bringing me to as her girlfriend. Am I catastrophizing this? Cassidy. Yeah, you are catastrophizing it a little bit. I think. I think that you should, just because this happened, A, you don't have to go to be with her family as a friend. You don't have to do that. Like, I get that. But, like, assuming that her sister's going to make every important decision in her life is not true. Like, just because her sister gave her this answer, you didn't like that answer. It's unfair to you. It's not ideal. It doesn't mean that's the way the rest of your life is going to go. This is a very important decision for your girlfriend, too, and it's going to weigh on her. I'm sure at some point that she has to get her sister's approval for almost everything. And then she's going to start to consider is she, is she willing to go through life like that. She can't live a lie. So while I would stand your boundaries and not participate in pretending to be her friend when you're more than that, I get that. I wouldn't do that either. I don't think you have to like throw in the towel and think, oh, my God,

her sister's going to be the arbiter of our relationship. I disagree. You do? I do. I think, I just think if my very existence is an issue that you're going to let your sister dictate, then we have a real problem here. It would be a deal breaker. Your sister is going to tell you to tell the world that I'm your friend. I would like to simply exist in your world as your partner. And if that can't happen, then that's you making that decision, not me. I agree with that as well. You agree with that too.

Because it's, you know, you have to be authentic. You have to be yourself. And the fact that she's not allowing her to even be part of the picture, it's problematic. I don't think it's too much to ask to be exist and acknowledge that you exist. Well, it's also, it's, yeah, it's hard when it's your. when it's your own sister that you look up to kind of saying like her sister knows she's gay so there's not a lie there

like she knows she's gay she's just telling her to mute the thing so that's where the problem comes in but she's not living a lie she's just not allowed to live out loud is what we're saying don't you think that that is simple human decency to be able to live out loud right I hear what you're saying

maybe it's because you know we spent a lot of time when I started on television it was back in 2001 and there was a lot of fighting for equality and insisting on equality and we matter and that was important. I no longer have that fight within me. I have, if you don't want to give me equality, God bless. I just, I'm not going to fight you for that right.

So the fact that she's now having to fight to be recognized is exhausting to me and I would tap out of that fight. Okay, that's fair. Well, I mean, yeah. It's just dignity, you know, just having dignity. Yeah, personal dignity. That's right. It's not, I mean, for somebody to put you on mute is not a good feeling.

But I also agree with you that, like, you know, she's, this probably won't be the one, you know, making all those decisions. No, but she's letting me make this decision. And this is a big one. But right. But she just stand her ground and say, no, I'm coming to the stupid party or whatever it is. Right, right, right. I think this could be. Oh, that's a great point.

Yes. This is, rather than being a red flag deal breaker by bitch, this could be a no. I think this would make you better, me better, your sister better, mom better. I'm going to fight for it and get to a better place. Yeah, that's good. See why he's better than me? I do. I do see.

Well, you thought for the moment. We walked in. Okay, well, there you go. There you have it. My advice was wrong. I think theirs was right. I am reconsidered. No, no, no, I think you're right.

You guys are right. I didn't think you were wrong, but I just disagree. But I felt your neck crane. As soon as I started talking, I'm like, what's his problem? I know, I know. Oh, really? I just, it is a pet peeve of mine. It is.

Like, I just, I've had family members tell me to tone it down or something. Well, you explained it perfectly. And I think that's beautiful. You actually, I mean, you said it. You're right. Nobody should exist and should be denied, especially now. It's like, come on, this fight has already happened. Yeah, we already argued this out. It's already been litigated. It's exhausting that people want to take it back. So, anyway, send a copy of this to her sister. I love you. Send her a link so her sister can listen to this and realize that she's being inappropriate and she needs to let her sister live out loud. And also, mom lives in this world. Even though she's a warrior, she's not, what is she in a bunker? She's fine. She's fine. She'll be fine. My parents were, you know, very Catholic as well and they were all fine. And they're all fine. Everyone survives. And then I married the, the gayest human ever.

And his dad spent the weekend at our house and we were in the pool. We love each other. We've actually never had the discussion of we're gay kind of thing. It's just like, this is my husband. Or maybe he doesn't know. Or maybe he doesn't know.

Maybe he's a woman. Maybe he's your woman. Whatever, it works. I'm fine with it. Okay, and that's your episode of Dear Chelsea for the week, everybody. Thank you, callers. Thank you, listeners. We'll see you next week. Thank you, Ross. Thank you, Wellington. What a pleasure. Thank you. We love you. I love you. I love you guys.

The word of the week is grammarian. Noun. A specialist or expert in grammar. Grammarian. Chelsea is known to be something of a grammarian, which is why we do this segment. Grammarian. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. executive producer Catherine Law And be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler.com I know he has a reputation, but it's going to catch up to him. Gabe Ortiz is a cop.

His brother Larry, a mystery Gabe didn't want to solve until it was too late. He was the head of this gang. You're going to push that line for the cause? Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry's killed, It must untangle the dangerous past, one that could destroy everything he thought he knew. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline is. The most Texas story ever. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I knew it was a bomb the second that it exploded. I felt it ripped through me. In season two of Rip Current, we asked, who tried to kill Judy Berry and why?

They were climbing trees and they were sabotaging logging equipment in the woods. She received death threats before the bombing. She received more threats after the bombing. I think that this is a deliberate attempt to sabotage our movement. Episodes of Rip Current Season 2 are available now. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If one of us wins, we all win. I'm Ashley Rayfeld, the host of the podcast.

Good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast about the past, present, and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. In our show, we'll talk with skaters like Bobby Delphino on pushing style, culture, and the conversation forward. You break down the door, sick now like hold the door for everyone. I believe in that solely. So listen to good luck with that on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What are the cycles fathers pass down that sons are left to heal?

What if being a man wasn't about holding it all together, but learning how to let go? This is a space where men speak truth and find the power to heal and transform. I'm Mike De La Rocha. Welcome to Sacred Lessons. Listen to Sacred Lessons on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.