Dear Chelsea - You’re the Problem with Yamaneika Saunders

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Yamaneika’s in Chelsea’s house (and won’t leave) to discuss the merits of an Erewhon rotisserie Chicken, the power of two women wrestling, and why Chelsea’s the problem this week.  Then: A family falls apart after an open marriage becomes a little too open.  A trans man’s love life gets increasingly more complicated.  And a sister needs to put her sister in her place.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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When you tune in to a new episode of our podcast, levels to this, you're definitely going to get some spy CWNBA analysis. But we're more than just hoops. And the real conversation is what we actually breathe. It's been really, really cool seeing kind of these women just really step into their power off the court and understand that they aren't basketball, right? And they're not asking for permission. Listen to levels to this with Stro's Hoops and Tarika Foster Brasby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Munga Shatikula and I'm back with a new season of my podcast, Skyline Drive. This time I

talked to scientists, biopunks, kermudgins, blues owners, super seniors, and Goa's top cryotherapy lab to try to understand this obsession with living forever and what it means for all of us. And I get into a bit of trouble along the way. I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. Make it look more defined. They say it works. I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can superstars even exist the way they used to? 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture, where we still consume things in community. Everybody wanted to be Beyonce at that point.

I don't think we'll ever see another beyond. What does it mean to be black and eat in America? You will never make me feel bad for being a black girl, for being a black American girl, ever. From music to food to the conversations shaping black. culture right now. Therapy for Black Girls is bringing it all to the mic. Listen to therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven,

Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets at Chelseahandler.com for the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine.

Hi, Chelsea. Who are you traveling with right now? I am now by myself. Oh, okay. I am in Spanish school. I am going to Spanish school from 9 to 2 p.m. every day in a Spanish city somewhere near you. Somewhere near Spain. Vaso bluerre, Ablando Fluido.

Oh, that's good. You're going to be fluent when you come back. It's going to be great. Hopefully. We'll see what happens. We'll see how many days of school I actually get to, but I'm on day three. So school from 9 to 2 and then there's cultural activities that I am opting out of because I need a nightlife. But school from 9 to 2 is all I need, really.

Yeah. I mean, I think your nightlife is going to be your cultural activities. Yes, exactly. That's me experiencing culture is going out. Excellent. Well, our guest today is a very special guest because she's launching her very own podcast under the Dear Chelsea Podcast Network. And this is going to give you a slice of what you can listen to when you tune into her podcast every week. Her new podcast is called You're the Problem with Yamanika Saunders.

And after listening to this, you'll also understand that she is the problem. And she's my problem and everyone's problem. So that title alone invites you to laugh. And she gave great advice, actually, on this episode. I was very impressed with her. is good at advice. She's terrible at taking it, but she's good at giving it. How necessary is this air? Excuse me. Excuse me.

How sweaty do you want to hear of me. Let me, first of all, I want to talk to you, okay? We're shooting this podcast. This is Dear Chelsea. This is Yomeneke Saunders. If you're not familiar with her, you will be by the end of this episode. We've had clips go viral with you. Okay. Anyway, why don't you, how necessary is this air? How necessary is all the bullshit that you? you get up to. You are disruptive. She's been staying at my house for a week. Here we go. For the Netflix is a Joe comedy festival. She every she has nothing. She brought nothing with her. We've been on the road. Every day is brand new for her. Every day you go into her bedroom. She's in the bunk room.

Megan was also staying here. Megan Gayle. Megan had an amazing time with me by the way. Because she goes through this nonsense. Okay. Every day in the bunk room where she's staying, she, it looks like a fucking pop-up CVS. She has to go to CBS. She goes to CVS three times a day. I'm addicted to CBS. She buys all the new things. It's like she's starting over each day. She doesn't have any of her supplies.

She has to get her hair stuff, her face stuff, her sneakers. She buys clothes at CVS. Then she went to Marshalls. Then she goes to Marshalls twice a week. Then I introduced her. You don't know this. I introduced her to Airwane. So I said, here's where the white people go shopping in Santa Monica.

Come look. And I was like, have you ever had a $13 smoothie? And this bitch goes every morning now to Airwans, spends $80 at Airwine. I can't help that. Yeah. No, I got this from the spirit here. Who's Nikki? That's me.

Because who's got time to learn how to spell Yamanica? They didn't even teach me how to spell my name until I was in the third grade. So I'm supposed to let some brand new lady that just met me learn how to spell Yamanica. Here's a bigger problem with spelling your name. We're about to launch a podcast. This is an announcement, you guys, to our audience. Dear Chelsea Network is now a network. And yes, I hold my breast when I say that.

Yes. And I hold your breasts too. And guess my first podcast that I'm producing beyond my own is You're the problem with Yamanika. But you're the fucking problem. I'm not the problem. You're the problem.

Listen, I am a part of the collective of the problem. So when I say you're the problem, I'm also saying that to myself. There's a lot of stuff happening in the world that we need to talk about. How about the fact that you've bought three rotissory chickens in three days and haven't even finished them? that they were delicious.

She buys this every day. She never finishes it. I can finish it. This was $22. Watermelon juice? Yeah. It's the Haley Berto. What are you doing?

I don't know. Is it the Haley Bermere? Yeah. We should get a discount from Haley. I'll DM her. No, listen, is this her? Haley, let me tell you something, baby. I have to smoke a joy for this episode

because I can't deal with her. Can I tell her? She drives me to drink and smoke. Yeah, well, you're drinking and smoking anyway. So what were you doing all the damn years before you met me? I was drinking and smoking for different reasons. Now you're talking. The reason I'm drinking and smoking.

Haley, this smoothie here, it's the thing I drink every morning to keep my bowels regular. I suck this down and it is mud tunnel. Do you hear me? That's why they so damn thin. When you spend $22 for a smoothie, you don't have money to eat for the rest of the day. That's it. That's right. Basically, Rachel Ray back in the day.

She goes, she buys a rotissory chicken every day and then she goes, oh, I got you all chicken. No one wants it. No one wants the chicken. You bought chicken noodle soup the other day. It's still in the fridge, a huge pint of it. You haven't touched it. You don't eat any of the stuff that you buy. So what are you doing with it?

Is this like that? I might have a problem. I get excited about purchases and things looking like, oh, this is going to look cute in the refrigerator. So, yeah, a $16 soup makes no sense, but it looks cute in a refrigerator. And that's what she's not going to tell you. It looks good in refrigerated. But also have her tell you this. The reason why I haven't eaten it yet is because this business.

also has one in there. So why would I open mine up if you don't have yours open yet? What, my chicken? You have a chicken noodle soup. No, I don't have a chicken noodle soup. Yes, you do? I never even ordered that. I never got that, no.

Do you want me go to the refrigerator? No, it's probably yours, you dumb ass. It's not mine. You probably got it and you forgot that you bought it like everything else. She was-I think I would know if I bought chicken noodle soup twice. You would you, though? Would you? I would you.

I mean, you bought an avocado, a $16 chicken noodle soup twice, okay? The other day, she goes, oh, we can break down the bones from the rotisserie chicken. I can make a nice, I can make a nice. I can make a nice. Everybody does that. But when is that going to happen, Yamanika?

No one's making any fucking soup with some bones. We're not doing that at any point during your stay here. So the fantasy that you're living in about us making bone broth or whatever the fuck you're talking about is so stupid. Because you don't want to do it with me. The way I see you operate is on another level. Like I thought I knew her, having her in my house, in my space. Thank you for breaking in my house.

my house hopefully like i mean yeah no i've had an amazing time i know it's been really nice having you it's the most fun room megan and i had such an amazing time there's four bunk beds when i first heard that i was like this is some stupid shit and then i went in there it's like it's like a women's prison no it's like everybody has their own little compartment yeah it's like it's so great yeah yeah yeah it's like comedy camp i love it yeah and thank you for let me come in listen we need to get you on the right concealer though. Your facial concealer. Okay, let me just talk. This is the problem with you buying new concealer everywhere you go. You're not

getting the right color for your skin. Okay, so I lost my makeup bag in a couple of places. Here's the thing about Chelsea. She doesn't understand why I don't have my shit together, but then she got 6,000 people keeping her shit together. I'm a one man ban. By the way,

you have infected all of the people that work with me and for me because they're all working for fucking you too now. Try to get your shit together. You don't know when we're going on tour. You're like, oh, you're going to Modesto? I'm going to rent a car. Why would you rent a car when we have a car? You're wasting money again.

No, no, no. Ladies and general, believe it or not, you're the problem with Yamanika is something that I wanted to do. Chelsea also wanted to do. No matter how she sits here and talks crazy about me, the woman loves me down to the core and she wouldn't let me be on her fucking network if she really thought I was this dumb and

irresponsible. I stopped saying that you're dumb. I've never said you're dumb. Okay, well, idiot, dumb, stupid. It's like, you know, what, you know, what we're I'm playing taboo. But what I'm saying to you is we're like, it's such, like, what we have going on here is such a fantastic moment and time. I'm so excited to be on the network. I just think it is just so, I'm just, I can't wait.

And I think what are you going to talk about on your show? I mean, let's give our, first of all, we have a great something. Something's off. No, it's like a sisterhood because we like we like each other, but then we hate each other sometimes. No, you're annoying. No, you're annoying. Well, okay.

But anyway, we have a good time together most of the time. And I do think that you... Last night we were at this party, we were slow grinding off. And people were walking past like, like, people are intrigued by our love, but also, like, skeptical, but then they're also like, also into it. I've had so many male comics text me and be like, can you put more videos up of you and Chelsea wrestling each? Do you know, I was walking around the party and I like was so stoned that I forgot where you guys were. And I kept trying to find that outside area where we found in the beginning of the night. We were like, we found a place where you could smoke and sit outside and dance.

And somehow I just got lost and I kept circling the same group of people. And it was so annoying. And I was like, how do I find them? And then what happened? Like the black angel. Didn't I come up behind you and go, where you been, baby? Ah, was it you? And then I'm, yeah, that was.

How many black angels you got, bitch? Oh, that is. Yeah, that was me. And we took that picture and I whisked you away. Yeah, absolutely. I knew you were somewhere and needed my assistance. Thank you. Yeah, that's really, you know.

I mean, somebody had to grow up in that incredible outfit. No, Chelsea, I get on Chelsea's nerves. I understand for whatever. She's a Pisces, I'm a Scorpio. She says this about 47 times every day. As if that has anything to do. It has a lot, because as a Scorpio, the way we don't want to be bothered with people. But as a Scorpio, you default to your Scorpio, you default to your

scorpionism all day long. Yeah, because whatever she does, that's fucked up. I'll be like, that's fucked up. She's like, I'm a Scorpio. And she just defaults to that. I think that's most but you can't do that. Is it a most Scorpio? I'm not walking around

going, I'm a Pisces. Deal with it. She literally did a joke in the roast. I'm a Pisces. Pete Davis is a Scorpio. And Jeff has cancer. That was so good. So, yeah, I mean, we all defer to it. The reason why I referenced it is because for me, I think people are shocked to see my relationship with her.

I have these relationships. There's people in my life that I'm really, really close to, and I have these relations to, and they don't get to see it on a larger scale. But for me, I'm always guarded, you know, just as a person. And I know that I'm so sensitive that once I get into a friendship with somebody, I start sharing my feelings, my everything. And so I'm very vulnerable with that. But she is very vulnerable.

You know, she really lets me in. And I just love pinching her. I love pinching her little tush. I love pinching her cheeks. I love pinching her arms. Just like all my friends. It's not Chelsea that I'm doing it. That's what my friendship is like.

It's very loving. It's very touchy. And it's very, like, extra. It's a burden for me. It's a big burden. It's not. She loves it. Don't listen to her.

Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Netflix. Disney Plus from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. From daily news to dating fails, conspiracy theories to cooking with celebrities who can't actually cook, Amazon Music's got the most ad-free top podcasts ready to entertain, included with Prime. I'm Stephanie Young. The hit podcast Love Trap is back with new updates in the case of Laura Owens. This is CR 2025 State versus Laura Owens. I think she really believes that she still hasn't out.

I'm quite confident that they're up to something. We're following the case live as the criminal charges finally come to a conclusion. Trust us when we tell you as the victims of Laura Owens, she will not stop. Listen to Love Trapped on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids

and their emotional well-being at soundedouttogether.org. That's sounded outtogether.org. Brought to you by the ad council and pivotal. Okay, so how do you keep winding up in Chelsea's bed? That's what I want to know because apparently it's having a bunch of times recently. Yeah, Yomika, what's your version of that story? I'd love to hear this. She has seen me completely naked and I have seen her completely naked. So what the fuck is the bed?

So have half the men that she. Sure, but what I'm saying is, no, what's the bed? Who cares? She, look, she's thin. She's not even taking up all this bed. She doesn't need it. So why wouldn't I be in there? Yeah, yeah.

I got my own space. We're like two miles away from each other in these. humongous-ass beds that she's always in. This bitch loves a hotel. The last time we were in a bed, like, maybe I told this story. I don't know. I think I said it to you once when we were recording that I, we had her, they had her come up. I don't, why she's in my room in the first place is a mystery, okay?

I mean, I did it once and then she's like every weekend. She's like, so maybe on Thursday I'll spend the night with you. Like, and I'll get a place the other two nights. But we never know if she's going to get a place or she's going to get a place in the right city. And when I do get a place, they get an attitude. about it because I like to use my Marriott points, my Bonvoy Marriott points. I'm also going to get a discount on bookings.com. I'm going to roll that over.

I mean, it's expensive to be in the low. But you're not getting the points when you're making the reservation in the wrong city for the wrong, yeah. Yes, I did book the wrong hotel for the wrong day for the wrong year. I mean, I don't know. I'm doing what I, but I had a place to stay, didn't I? Yeah, in my bed. Yeah, well, okay, okay.

How many times are you bombarded with me being in your pillow. She has all her makeup everywhere. She doesn't even remove her makeup, so it looks like I did blackface and went to sleep. I can't help it that you keep your makeup on and it's the same color as the damn sheets, bitch. I am sorry. We have to get chocolate sheets. We both go to bed with makeup on it. You need to get chocolate sheets.

And she does. I know. I know. Like, sometimes I wonder people come in and look at the sheets after you leave and be like, what the fuck is going on here? What was happening with my entire faces on it? But I do, listen, it's those things too because like I've been on the road with so many people. And it's like, Chelsea's so fun. One of the favorite, my favorite things about her is like, when I first started doing the road with her, I would stay in my place, you know, my green room, which I thought was great because sometimes you don't even get a green room as an opener.

And I would be in my green room and she would be with hers. And then one time she came in and she was like, how come you like, not it? You didn't come in here. Like, how come in with me? And I was like, I'm trying to give you a space. And she was like, I don't want that. She was like, come in there. And then we went in there and we, you know, Molly was there.

and we had an amazing time. And it was just fun. Like, ever since then, it was, like, such a connection. And I was thinking to myself, like, well, I can't wait to get back and kick it with her. Because sometimes you go on the road.

It's the truth. Sometimes you get depressed. You're like, man, I don't want to be around this person. They're going to treat me like shit. They're going to make me feel, whatever. She brings me on as her special guest. She's so welcoming and loving. Her audiences are so receptive.

And even the, like, she comes out, greets everybody. That's the kind of spirit I have. So it's like, it just makes everything, seeing you feel seen you feel loved and that's what she did for me so like I'll never forget that you know yeah that is real sweet but it's the truth I don't think I'm gonna be able to yell at you for at least six more hours you'll find a way what time is your flight tonight nine oh I want to yell at me like get in the sky you idiot get in the sky why are you still she'll be like

will you drive me to the airport don't you think she'll suggest me to the airport she'll suggest things that are like great for her that with no consideration of how it would make me feel. Also, no one wants to drive anyone to tell you on the road. I hate driving. I hate having people drive. Like poor Carlos, he has a deal with my, I have a phobia of driving. This has been for a long time. One of my sisters was killed in a car accident. So ever since then, it was always like, you know, I'm constantly aware of like, oh, we're doing this. I don't want to die. I don't want my father to have to go through this trauma again. My family have to go through this trauma again. But Chelsea drove me the other day, drove me around.

she's a really great driver and I felt good no she is like surprisingly she was really great I was like wow she's an excellent driver I didn't trust her at all but I did but people ask you about me you should go she's an excellent driver you are though I told you that and I was having a good time

she's sincere about things like this she's totally sincere right now she didn't hear anything for me I had no complaint I was like relaxing no one everyone in my family would disagree with you but I appreciate you recognizing my skill set maybe they think it's scary but I'm like she's on top of it. Part of driving that people don't have

is people are doing a thousand things and they're not paying attention and they're not aware of the surroundings. That's what makes it dangerous. But Chelsea's very aware of what's going on. She's a Pisces. Pisces are like that. Detail-oriented and they also don't fuck around.

So that's why, you know, my other friend, Andy, who I'm obsessed with, he's a Pisces. I've had Pisces in my life. I just love Pisces. They get along with Scorpio well and it just feels good. I'm a Pisces too, Yamanika.

There you go. Yay, you can probably my bed anytime. Yeah, no, there you go. Yeah. What, baby? I was just thinking about astrology and, like, how often it comes up with you. It does come up a lot. Yeah.

It started. Are you well versed on every sign like this? Every time I have sex with a man, I'm versed on the sign. On the phone or in person. Because she has phone sex a lot. On the road. Chelsea. On the road.

Look at that. That look right there is, first of all, she has five personalities. One is Roshanda. The one is Lucy. One is Denzel. And then one is Shinikwadonk. Yeah, but I told you, I said I will not let your white ass call me no Shinikwadong. So you better find a new name, bitch.

It better be Barbara or some shit like that. Barbara, okay. Lucy is the helpful spirit. Lucy will come in out of nowhere and all of a sudden because she has, you know, she has different accents. talks in. So she's borderline or something. I have borderline personality disorder. Yeah, a borderline five of them. I thought borderline meant too, but it's not. That's a split personality. She has like several different people going. I do. So it's pretty tricky because she, but the good thing is, is that she can always snap back quickly. Yeah. So it doesn't like, even though it's a

lot of drama and I'm saying that in a patronizing way kind of, like even though it comes with a lot of drama. She recovers from the drama so the drama doesn't last. It's not a long duration. But there's always drama. But the thing about it is, the thing, and I think they're learning this, I have to internalize everything so I can deal with it. So that's why it doesn't stay.

If you catch me in the midst of dealing with something that's drama, I'm focused and my spirit is on that. So you be like, oh my God, Yama, what's wrong with you? Really, just leave me, give me five minutes to process this. And by the time you come back to me, I'm going to be fine. because my drama is never with the people.

It's always my environment, and I'm trying to clear that up. But I don't, if I don't like you, I wouldn't be around you. So I always tell people like, if I'm going to be upset, I may have an attitude, I may get scared, but it's not directed at you. And I'm also trying to fix that for myself so that I can come back to you and be Yama again, you know, like the fun girl. Yeah. And it's really funny watching also, not funny.

I guess more interesting and like from like our own experiences like watching how she goes through the world is like ridiculous. It's shocking to me. I'm shocked. Because she's the type B personality of the duo. But she's also like her background and her experiences are so different than mine. So for us to come together and to be able to like share, of course she wants to sleep in my room because she's like, oh, you got your fucking shit dialed in.

Let's go. It's my time. My shit is dialed in because, you know, I've had different experiences in my life. And, like, you know, that, like, contrast is very, like, fun to learn about, you know, like, someone's experience that is so different. Well, for me, like, okay, so my background is I've always been. In terms of you being Puerto Rican is what I'm talking about. I've always been isolated as a person.

I mean, I have three beautiful half-sisters. We have different mothers. One is in heaven. Two are living. But I grew up an only child. And I grew up a theater kid as well. And I went to parochial school where a lot of shit was going on. I was being, you know, I was being called the N-word every day.

A whole bunch of shit was going on. So I withdrew very early on in life to just be a loner, right? And not really open up to people and be around people. And also I'm combating that I wasn't the traditional, like, my background is pretty conservative and I was always pushing against that, you know? So for me, it's like there is a reckless abandon with me. I fuck it. I don't care.

Nobody's going to tell me. me how to be, how to live, you're not going to restrict me in any ways. And sometimes that can come off very chaotic. And then I get to be around Chelsea and I get to relax because she knows what she wants. She's got her head on straight and everything is just in line. So sometimes I do feel like I can just lay with her and not have to worry about certain things, you know? And that feels good. I like to provide that. You do. You know, our backgrounds are a lot more similar than you think, but I think for me to come back into a space where, like, you know, I'm almost 50. I'm 47.

There's a lot of things going on where I'm looking at myself as an adult, too. Like, how do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to show up around other people and make them feel better about shitty situations? I felt neglected. I felt unseen. I felt unloved. And that's why the volume is so loud. That's why it is so much in your face because I know I sat home and cried.

And I don't want anybody else to do that. So I appreciate people who say to me, you know what, you made me feel good. I like your material. I like what you're saying. I feel represented. That's a really big deal for me. So right now, also, my focus is just comedy. It's not necessarily where I'm living, what close I got on.

You know, I'm just a nomad running around this world. Going to CVS. Going to CVS. Going to CVS. She was dragging around a suitcase, this little mini, like, what would you call that a purse? It was like a purse on wheels. I got it at this boutique in Las Vegas. It was great.

She didn't like it. And then I let this bitch pressure me into getting rid of it. When I was at LaGuardia, I still had the bag. I said, oh, shit, she doesn't like this bag. She's going to dog me for this bag. So I went and bought a new bag at LaGuardia. And then I said to the woman that was buying it from, I was like, oh, my God, I don't know what I'm going to do with this bag.

And she goes, oh, I'll find somebody to take it. I was like, I bet you will, bitch. It was a fantastic bag. But then this person. told me that she didn't like it. I don't like that. You looked like a bag lady with that. I looked like a sophisticated woman of leisure.

It was open and shit was spilling out of it because she's got liquids. She travels with her suitcases filled with different liquids. Like drinks, like energy drinks are in the suitcase that she's traveling with. That's a lot of way too. Just liquid is good. But it's the truth. Stop eating whole shit.

Stop eating substances. Tracking the conversation. You just drink. I'm the one of stone. Did you smoke? a joint? I didn't. Give me some of this. Oh, no, I got to get another one. A little dog walker. No, I want, I should have got, remember I have that big one. Should I go get that? Can we take a break during this? You didn't want that. I got the eighth one of the world. Give me this, the light, the light, the light, baby.

Wow, so small. It's a dog walker. What does that mean? The flight. Last the amount of time to walk the dog. We, that is really funny. This is like a snack. It's like a snack joint. Yeah. So the dog got to piss and poop right away and then come back? Because this is not... My cats would need more than this if I walk them. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month.

Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. From daily news to dating fails, conspiracy theories to cooking with celebrities, who can't actually cook, Amazon Music's got the most ad-free top podcasts ready to entertain, included with Prime. I'm Stephanie Young. The hit podcast Love Trapped is back with new updates in the case of Laura Owens.

This is CR 2025 State versus Laura Owens. I think she really believes that she still hasn't out. I'm quite confident that they're up to something. We're following the case live as the criminal charges finally come to a conclusion. Trust us when we tell you as the victims of Laura Owens, she will not stop. Listen to Love Trapped. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Talking about guns with others might not always feel comfortable, but it could save a life.

Here's a way to start a conversation. Your family is going over to your neighbor's home for dinner for the first time. How would you ask if there are any unlocked guns in the home? Hey. Hey, we're so excited for tonight. Before we come over, though, may I ask if there are any unlocked guns in your home? Our guns are stored securely locked in a safe that the kids can't access. Awesome.

Learn how to have the conversation at Agree2agree.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council. Are we supposed to take callers for this? Yeah, we got callers. Okay, awesome. We got collars. Okay, great. All right, so let's do that.

Okay. All right, our first caller today is Bella. And her subject line, by the way, is my brother's wife's lover. What? Dear Chelsea, my brother just dropped a huge bomb on me. My brother is 10 years my junior, and we have always been very close. We lived in the same building together in NYC for over 20 years. He moved out 10 years ago when he and his wife had their first child.

While on a peaceful vacation recently, my brother called with a bombshell. He told me his wife is having a consensual affair with a female family friend. He said they were all open to it at first, but now his wife has feelings for the other woman, who is also married to a man. I was stunned, cried, and I was upset. Not because I'm judgy. I'm open, liberal and. fair, my feelings were reactive for the kids and the family dynamic. He's now unhappy with the

agreement and she is conflicted. My main concern is for the children. I did advise my brother, but I need additional advice. What would you do if this was your brother? What would you advise him? Bella. Hi, Bella. Hi, Bella. We've got Yamanika here. Hi, Bella. Oh, Yamanika. Hi, baby. How are you? Hi, I'm well. Hi, Chelsea. Oh, God. What an interesting dilemma. It's kind of like a, I mean, I know this is your family member and your brother, but it's kind of like a sign of the times. Like, women are just like, women are wrapped with men. They're ready for it to be with a woman. Like it is, it's so prevalent.

And it's like we're on the cusp of like it becoming an even bigger thing, like at the tipping point almost. Yeah, it's not actually the shock of the woman. It's just how she went about it. just the disrespect, you know, like this big bomb. Where are things right now? Has there been a transition at all? Is everyone still living in their same homes? Yes, everyone is still living in the same homes.

You know, my mom lives in the house, too, my 82-year-old mother. Oh, and she got to deal with all this musical chairs in the bedroom? Yeah. Does she know what's going on? She does. What's her opinion about all of this? Well, she's 82 years old. and she was incredibly shocked and, you know, surprised.

Because this is someone that was hanging out with our family. Like I said, I moved up here. I'm very close to my brother, the kids and everybody. And this woman was around. We had a holiday together. We had Thanksgiving together. Are you still in New York? An hour north of New York now.

Whenever you come into the city, I got two tickets for you. Come see me at the cellar, okay? just for this ordeal. Maybe bring your brother and let me know how many tickies need. I'll take care of you. Maybe we can work this out there. I got you. We'll connect, okay?

I think what the problem is, is you see this as a portrayal, but we have to go back to the beginning that it was consensual, right? So at some point it seems like your brother agreed to this dynamic. And you can't help falling in love with somebody once you open the door of intimacy. So if she just went into a physical thing and didn't know she was going to fall in love, it's like Chelsea would say, whoopsie doodle. But once you have to think about all the things that you open up when you put yourself in that situation. Now on the flip side, I do understand what you mean about the kids, how they're going to feel, this whole relationship dynamic.

But we are in a time where the world is changing. In our time, if something like that happened, people would have to go to therapy. nobody would know what to do and then it would be hush hush now the children your nieces and nephews are also dealing with other kids who are also having these type of dynamics in their families so it won't be so isolating for them so i think if you can somehow find a way which is going to be hard right to not be so emotional about it and see how you can come in and maybe help right or be a lending hand to them how they need it that would be better served for them than the judgment that they're getting through this process. I agree with you. I do. I do. But, you know, where we are now is in a very small town. Everybody and everybody business, right? Correct. Yeah. What was the advice that you gave your brother? Well, at the time, I just told him to take a step back. And yes, I agree with Yamanika. It was

consensual. You know, they were doing their thing more than I ever expected. But that's all good. You know, you do. I think, yeah, now it's more like the betrayal, like you said, the disrespect to my mom, to the family, to the kids. Well, I have a question about that because where is the disrespect coming in? Is this, or betrayal coming in? Because it sounds like everybody was on board with this when it started. I don't know that it is a betrayal to say, well, I started a relationship with this other person with everyone's consent and then I fell in love with this person. I mean, was there other stuff going on or? Well, he had asked her to stop when it started getting too crazy because then they agreed

that they were going to stop because it was getting out of hand. And then when he asked her to stop, it just continued. And she was, you know, kind of sneaking around and going around. And yeah, he behaved badly too during this time. And then he had said to her, listen, this is going to destroy us, to destroy the family. And sure enough, here we are. Yeah.

It's a bell you can't unring. Yeah. I guess the disrespect to me now is that she's still running around with this woman with the kids. And I just keep thinking, I mean, if it were a double, if my brother now falls in love with a man

and takes the kids around with the man, how will she feel about it? I have to be really honest with you in this moment. I feel like you have, I know it's your brother, but you have so much judgment coming from you. You're not, she's not trying to humiliate you. She's not, this isn't intentional. You can't help it.

Like, they had an open relationship and she fell in love. And I know that's hurtful for you to your brother. But like, you have to let go of your anger towards her. It's not going to be helpful. That energy is not going to help the situation that you're in at all. You need to be a positive influence on the situation and positively support your brother. You don't need to hate on this woman and what she did to support your brother. Like, it's life.

Shit happens. People fall in love and they fall out of love. And what you can do is be a beam of light and support for your brother. And that's all. You don't have to deal with her. Like, yes, I know it's part of your life, but give her a break. Just be cool. Yeah.

And I think, you know, being the age that we are, we grew up in this era of compulsory heterosexuality. Right? Where it was like the default is that you are straight. And this woman, I think, has discovered that, like, her sexuality is somewhere else on the spectrum other than just straight. And there's a judgment for that from you as well, like, I can see, you know? And you got it like, yeah, that's old, that's old thinking. That's like the olden times. It's okay.

It's not humiliating that she's a lesbian now. That's not a humiliation on your family. It's not a humiliation at all, right? But also, the sting of it is that's family, right? So no matter what, once you betray my family, like, I'm done with you. When they were supposed to stop, she should have been honest at that point and said, I can't stop because now I'm in love. Let's take sexuality out of it for a second because when she went into the shit,

she was at the very least by because she went to go fuck a woman, not a man, okay? So we can take that off the table. What happened is whatever she found over there on that table, it was replacing more than whatever your brother was giving her. She fell in love, not in lust, in love. That means I want you outside of fucking you. I want the relationship. I want to see you.

I want to talk. You are my person. And I think they need to be honest about maybe they just need to separate altogether. Yes. Yeah. And I'm not being judging that it's a woman. Honestly, I'm not. No, it's not.

But you know what, Bill, let me just say this. And I'm saying this out of love. when you said how would they feel if my brother was going around with a man that makes it a judgment on sexuality because why didn't you just say if he was going around with another lover right so when you say things like that it ting's like maybe there's a little bit of homophobia there maybe there's some concern why are you so concerned about male and female in this situation but at the same time i think emotions are going to be high for you regardless because this is your brother The way you described him in this letter was like, oh, they really fuck with each other like that. And she loves her brother dad. Right, right, right. So your judgment is completely clouded in this situation. Well, and I think, like, the place you want to get to or you want your brother to get to is however this shakes out,

whoever winds up with whom, you want those kids to have happiness, to have adults in their life that love them, even if that's not your brother and sister and lost together. Exactly. Like, people who love them and care for them. You want them to feel held. But, like, there's going to be some complicated stuff to get to that point. So I think your role here is just to, like, absolutely support everyone, be there for the kids. And then also, like, speak positively about their mom.

Like, nothing is going to come of, you know, any trash talk or negativity there. Well, that's, yeah, definitely nothing like that. Yeah, no, I don't think you would. But just getting everyone as quickly as possible and as smoothly as possible to the place where, like, they can have multiple families that love them. and everyone gets along really well, even though there's going to be some complicated stuff in the middle. Yeah. And it happens.

It can happen. We've all seen it happen. Think about it like you'd want to think about it in five years, like you handled this with Grace and a plum, you know? Like, oh, you were a beam of support for people and you helped transition them into the next phase. And I see a lot of you and me, Bella, in terms of like, I receive information.

I know some of this may be grading on you, but also some of it you're glad you, you know. you're receiving this, take all that we've given you and then run it through your own filter, which is what I would be doing, and then find out because like- And then find your local CVS store. I really feel for you in this situation. You have such a beautiful presence about yourself and spirit. And I know you just want the best.

But I know for me, there was nothing, there's nothing better in my life than my aunts, no matter what, the love of my aunt. Yeah. And I honestly, no, I'm not judging. I mean, trust me, if I could describe my life in New York City, I was wild and in every gay club. Like, it's nothing like that at all. Yeah, I was probably in it with you. Yeah, absolutely no problem with that. It's the problem I have is mainly just with the bomb that went off and the disrespect.

And I worry for my niece and nephew. mainly, really. They'll be fine. I promise you, they'll be fine. Yeah. They really will. We're not Mayberry. It's not leave it to beva.

It's people doing all kinds of shit out here in this world. Okay? And what you told me is tame compared to what I've been showing Chelsea dicks from some guy I barely know. And it's like, you know, with him jerking off. It's like, so when you talk about that. Yeah.

She had phone sex three times. His dick is so amazing. You know, whatever. It just looks gorgeous. I mean, honestly, this is not appropriate. I know, all right. Okay, Bella. Oh, no.

It's fine. All right, Bella. Bring it on. Bella, take our advice. Like, listen to what we said and then re-listen to this because it will help you. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I definitely will.

I'll follow up and let you all know. Yeah, please do, Bella. Yeah, pull us up with us in like six months or so and like let us know how things are shaking out over there, okay? Definitely. Thank you. Bye, my love. Time. Take care.

Bye-bye. That was a good one. That was a good one. You're always given some really fucking great. I can't stand you. Oh, you're falling in love with me even more. You follow me. This is another personality.

This is what, what, can we call it? What's our name for it? The one that loves me. Just me, though. Like where you, uh, let's call her Justine. Oh, that's boring. Why? What about La Wanda?

What do you always, every fucking name you put up? Got to be some bitch that goes to the swap meet in Englewood. Stop it. Chelsea? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything.

I'm Stephanie Young. The hit podcast Love Trapped is back with new updates in the case of Laura Owens. This is CR 2025. State versus Laura Owens. I think she really believes that she still hasn't out. I'm quite confident that they're up to something. We're following the case live as the criminal charges finally come to a conclusion. Trust us when we tell you as the victims of Laura Owens, she will not stop.

Listen to Love Trapped on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From daily news to dating fails, conspiracy theories to cooking with celebrities who can't actually cook, Amazon Music's got the most ad-free top podcasts ready to entertain, included with Prime. Remember, always be generous with the net may. Just eyeball it. Okay. Mom's wisdom has served you well,

but now it may be your turn to guide her. Hey, I'm worried about mom. She keeps forgetting her famous sweet potato pie recipe. Some things come with age, sis. And some don't. Knowing the early signs of Alzheimer's and a loved one will help you make the best decisions for your family. Visit 10Signs.org to learn the signs.

Brought to you by the Alzheimer's Association and the Ad Council. What's our next situation? Okay, so we thought that was a little messy. We're going to, about to get a little messier. Oh, these are good. Yes. So McKinley says, dear Chelsea, Emma 43, or are we ready?

We both, when you said it was getting messed. We were both like, and you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm like, okay. Let me do. Okay. Dear Chelsea, I'm a 43-year-old ex-Morman trans guy with two kids from my previous marriage.

Re-read on. You got to read that. You got to catch every part of it. I'm a 43-year-old, ex-Morman, trans man. Got it. With two kids from my previous marriage to a man. Okay.

Yes. Is this Bella's brother, sister? Probably. My birthday is coming up, and I'm really hoping this next year is less about cleaning up all my ex's whoopsie doodles. My main issue is with my kids' dad. On paper, he's supposed to have visitations, but in real life, I spent years bending over backwards to make visits happen. Visits eventually stopped because he constantly dropped the ball. He would drink when he had them, sometimes to the point that the kids would call me scared or confused,

and I'd have to drive an hour each way to pick them. up while also trying to convince the kids that this was all normal dad stuff. He acts like I quote took the kids away, even though he was barely showing up. Meanwhile, our youngest is exploring her gender identity now, and he doesn't even know. So I'm stuck between wanting to protect her privacy and feeling like I'm hiding something huge about his own kid from a man who hasn't exactly earned to trust. As a bonus side quest, I also have an ex-fiancee who I own a house with, which we're trying to untangle after a breakup.

Through all of this, I clearly have a history of choosing bad partners. and the universe keeps handing me group projects. Now I'm in the Midwest trying to build a good life with my girlfriend, who voted for Trump, so that's already a fun plot twist. Baby! And our blended family. I'm basically rebooting my life as this new version of me. So I'd love your advice on how to be honest with my kids, dad,

about our child exploring their gender identity, and do I start visits back up after 18 months of none? How many chances do you give out a checked-out partner before you stop trying, and how to balance starting over, new career, new partner, new version of me with actually having time and energy left for my kids. Thanks for reading and untangling this with me, McKinley. Yomeneke, I think you should begin.

First of all, let me just say, McKinley, you're the type of person I would fall in love with. I mean, like... She falls in love with somebody every day. Every day, but also like, no, no, no. Because I know what you're doing. You're looking for love, baby. And in the process of looking for love,

you keep going to places that are just taking advantage of your spirit. And I think it started with the Mormon church. They're garbage. I think, you know, it also starts with you now trying to, you know, you're going into a world of a new identity to the world and how the world is seeing you. Then you have to have this partner that you were in love with and with and had children with have to now discover this new identity who you are. They're probably not processing that well, which is why you have this distance. So that's another person abandoning you. Then you're like, you don't want to see your daughter go through the same thing because she's also trying to figure out what her identity is.

But I can guarantee you that your former partner has no idea how to help her at all. And if anything might be a deterrent. If after eight months, 18 months of not seeing it is done for the children, right? Because they cannot have this wishy-washiness in their life. It is irresponsible of that person. and then because it's irresponsible and you're safeguarding your children, they have to kind of go no contact at this point. From my perspective, what I think you need to do is you need to write down what McKinley wants,

what McKinley needs, so that you start going towards partners that have that because how you got hooked up with somebody who was a Trump supporter, knowing that everything that aligns with what you got going on is anti-Trump and the nonsense they have over there is because you don't have enough safeguards around your spirits and you don't have enough boundaries in your life and you don't love you first. Once you fix that, you don't need our advice and the rest of the shit is going to fall. You are a beautiful person. I can just tell about your smiling spirit. Thank you so much for writing this. And it resonated with me in a lot of ways because I feel abandoned a lot. I felt unseen and unloved and I kept running after people who didn't love me because sometimes you think

to yourself. If I can get somebody who doesn't love me and doesn't respect me to love me and respect me, I've won a battle and you haven't. Okay. I hope that resonates with you. I just want to leave that with you just in love because I think it's more about you than anything else. Once you get with you, everything else is going to fall in place. Yeah. Yeah. How is that falling on you, McKinley? That's great advice. My current girlfriend, I'm with, voted for Trump in she actually is a really good person for me. So my problem that I have is not with my current girlfriend. No, no, no, but it should be.

It should be. Let me tell you why it should be, right? We have to be real about assessments. And I'll bring it back to Chelsea and I. The optics on this, and I've said this before, I'm a black woman who talks very crazy about white people. Don't trust white people. And I shouldn't, right?

The history of white people is gross. but at the same time it's like I wouldn't I'm not here to like dance and prance for somebody because I want to be accepted and I want to be loved like over here I know that if some shit's going down

even though I get on her nerves this woman has my back when it comes to being a woman a black woman all of that support if she didn't I could not be here there's something in you that you think it's okay you can't be with the Trump's problem I'm just telling you, baby, everything you got, you're a trans man, divorced.

Right. You understand? Right. The fact that you think she's a good person, she's a da-da-da-da-da, not in this time and climate. Because there's got to be something that she's got going on with her. Because how could she vote for Trump when Trump is against you? Right. I get that sometimes to make mistakes and growing up Mormon.

I, I, yeah. So when I had a phone call with her, I met her online. Two hours into the phone call was when I dropped the whole, hey, you probably didn't realize I'm a trans male on my profile. And she said, at this point,

I would be a complete idiot to not give this a chance. And that was about six months ago. So we just started dating it in January. No, that baby, listen to me. On line, I say the same thing. Everybody's lying,

okay? I'm not telling people I'm a comedian. I tell men, I teach blind cats how to read. So the reality is people are saying all kinds of shit. It's been six months. She would be a fool, right? To adhere to what she got going on to lose out on you.

But the reality is there's going to be a time when she's going to have to choose between you and what she believes in. And I'm telling you, baby, that's dangerous territory for you. Yeah. Okay. I hear you. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with her. I think that, yeah, it's like you have a pattern of behavior that's like a pathology, and you kind of have to nip it in the bud.

Like you're not looking after yourself. That's why it's like a repetition of kind of bad choices. Well, and I get why it feels comfortable, right? Because it's like, you know, you're coming out of this previous relationship. Things are tumultuous with work and with your ex and all these things, but, or ex is and all these things. But this feels comfortable, right? Like this feels like a cozy safe space where you are held. But I do think that Yamanika is right.

Like when it comes down to her choosing between her church that has very conservative views, like her beliefs and her relationship with you, I think there's going to be a dividing point there. But I want to also go back to what Yamanika was saying about how we fill the void that's happening for you and how we get McKinley to love McKinley so that you can still. stand on your own two feet. Mm-hmm. Are you in any kind of therapy seeing anybody in that capacity? I was in therapy, and I was on medicine, and I work at a company that doesn't provide very good insurance coverage, so I have to wait until next month to start therapy again. Mary J. Blige has a song called Good Morning Gorgeous, right?

Yes, yes. And it's like, at first I was like, this is so ridiculous. You know, like you got to do this. But I started getting into that song and it's like, you need to get up in the morning and say good morning gorgeous to yourself. I can see it all over you. And not as a judgment. It's because I am like that too.

This is like really sensitive and you're trying to hold it all in. But it's hurting you at the same time. And as long as you're okay and acquiesce the bullshit around you, you think you'll be safe, but you won't. You're a great person. amazing like just from the presence of you yeah i want you to know that and i don't know if you see that in you and you need to you got to baby you have to i'm trying no you really do immediately when i saw you on the screen i said wow just so beautiful really i did i try so hard and i've

been trying to ask for help it's like i get nine yards out of the 10 yards and they can't freaking get that one yard it's like i try to ask help for everywhere and try to figure things out And I'm just so financially screwed. This is just like how do you do all these things? You know, how do you like, I have all this past. I'm trying to protect and protect my future and trying to do so many things. It's just so hard. Sorry.

No, don't. We're also going through the same, you know what I mean? Like I cry. Chelsea cries. You know, we've cried to each other. Like, you're not alone in this feeling. It feels so isolating. But I promise you and I understand finances, God knows.

And I understand all those things. They can change the fabric of your life. But the first thing you have to do is you have to love you and really know that all the decisions of that happen in your life have to be because they are going to benefit McKinley. Do you understand? Because if not, the finance is not going to get good. The relationship's not going to get good. You're going to keep chasing things that don't serve you because like Catherine said, you just want to be comfortable. But you're unfortunately comfortable in trauma.

I think I'm just like in survival mode. I'm just trying to just, you know, forget everything. I mean, if individual therapy isn't something that can happen right now for financial or any other reasons, let's find you a support group in your area so that you have some outlet for this. Like we need weekly support, right? Right? You don't have to do this alone. And we don't want you to do this alone.

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. And Chelsea, what would you say as far as like if there's a step that McKinley can take every single day to just get in touch with himself and, and listen to himself, what would? Yeah, you should get up in the mornings and write down,

like you are magnificent, you are magnetic, and you are resilient. And, like, write those three things down each morning on a piece of paper and start saying that to yourself. That was magnificent, resilient. What was the second one? Magnetic. Magnetic, thank you. And also, go find your own words.

I wouldn't be writing too many things down that she says. You know what Chelsea's my God So I will listen Oh that's where you Bad decisions again I know Hey I'm your god too bitch

Honey I wish the Lord Elver Jesus Christ Anazir And no way I'm putting The Lord is in God Oh what Jesus Christ Of Jesus

All of us Bitch you wouldn't even Cross the street To get me a hot dog And you think I put you Lord the Lord of God And not no way Joe Soe

Lordo No no it's Lord So your no es Lordo. That is correct, McKinley. No S Lordo. I served a mission, I served them, I served them, I served a mission and had to learn all Spanish. It could be.

Okay. McKinley, will you check in with me? Let me know if you can find something in your area. If not, I'm going to help you look. Like somewhere that you can have a group every week. But will you check in with me like pretty quickly and we'll, we'll get you on the right track? Thanks for calling.

Yes, my love. I'm sitting here so much love. We do love you. Thank you. I love you. I love you, baby. I love you all. Thank you so much.

All right. Of course, my love. Get Bell, pure fiber internet with craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. From daily news to dating fails, conspiracy theories to cooking with celebrities who can't actually cook, Amazon Music's got the most ad-free top podcasts ready to entertain, included with Prime.

I'm Stephanie Young. The hit podcast Love Trapped is back with new updates in the case of Laura Owens. This is CR 2025 State versus Laura Owens. I think she really believes that she still hasn't out. I'm quite confident that they're up to something. We're following the case live as the criminal charges finally come to a conclusion. Trust us when we tell you as the victims of Laura Owens, she will not stop. Listen to Love Trapped. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Talking about guns with others might not always feel comfortable, but it could save a life.

Here's a way to start a conversation. Your family is going over to your neighbor's home for dinner for the first time. How would you ask if there are any unlocked guns in the home? Hey. Hey, we're so excited for tonight. Before we come over, though, may I ask if there are any unlocked guns in your house? home. Our guns are stored securely, locked in a safe that the kids can't access. Awesome. Learn how to have the conversation at Agree2agree.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council.

I do have one more caller if you're ready for... You know, Chelsea gets tired of helping. Let's go. Let's run through here. Okay, our last caller is Katie, and she says to your Chelsea. I need advice for how to deal with my sister. We're both in our 50s and a year apart. We were very close as children, but we went in very different directions as adults. That said, we still live in the town where we grew up and we're both close with our mother and extended family. Here's the problem. There was no inciting event, but over the last several years, maybe even going back to our early 30s, we're like oil and water. We tolerate each other, but there's constant tension. I know I'm not perfect, but it feels

like she's constantly sniping at me, criticizing me, being negative and cutting me down. I've been sober for almost three years, and I'm committed to live and live toward life in general. I try to tune her out and be the bigger person, but it gets harder every time I see her. We just spent the weekend traveling with our 80-year-old mom for a family event, and I'm ready to never speak to her again. But that would break my mom's heart, which is out of the question. I also don't want to lose my only sister, but maybe I already have. I know you've been through a lot with your extended family, Chelsea. So any thoughts?

I appreciate you and your team, Katie. Hi. Hi, hi. Hi, how are you? Hello, Katie. It's so exciting to be here. Hi, this is Yamanica. I have you. Hi, I'm Yamanika, Katie.

Oh, my, oh my God. I'll try to watch my mouth in your presence. I know how sensitive you are. Baby, you sister. Look at your cutie pie. You try to be my sister? Well, wait, what's the situation? What's, why can't you get, what, is she so annoying and you're so annoying to her? You both hate each other, like, annoy each other? Kind of, yeah. Are you angry at her about something? After this trip that we went on, my husband said the only solution he saw was that we go in the backyard with boxing gloves. All right. Well.

There's a resentment somewhere. Where is the resentment? I don't know. I mean, I could make some guesses. I mean, I think that our lives have turned out, you know, our lives have turned out basically the way that we wanted them to. You know, I always wanted to be a career person and I am. My sister is a stay-at-home mom and she loves her kids and she loves that. But it seems like I think she resents the freedom that I have. I mean, if I had to guess, I'd say what that is.

but it's so hard to have an honest conversation with her that I'm speculating when I say that. So what's your issue with her? It's just, it's the constant cutdowns. It's the constant, it's just, she's cutting you down? Yeah. Right. She's trying to belittle you because I think, I don't think she probably is as happy as you think she is or satisfied, right? I think it, I'm not a mother and I've never been able to fool a man into marrying me.

But I can tell you this, that there is a sense of accomplishment quite early once you go into relationship that probably goes into marriage and then children. And then after that, you have to look at yourself and go, what's next? That's something that you don't have to worry about as a career woman because what next is the career thing. You haven't really locked down life. People are locking down life early, seeing people do and evolve beyond where they've stopped. And then there's a resentment. So because she feels bad about what you're, you got going on in the freedom, you got, she wants to cut you down and make you feel the same as her. You cannot be in a relationship like that without communicating, hey, listen, I don't like when you say this.

I don't like when you say that. It makes me feel this way. If they love you enough and respect you enough, then they will hear it. If they don't, then you just have to separate. But you can't force your sister to have a conversation with you if she doesn't want to have a conversation with you. And if she's not going to talk or communicate her real feelings to you, then you have to either limit contact or go no contact. When she's cutting you down, what's your reaction to that? I just, I kind of go gray rock, you know? I just, I associate, honestly. Sometimes I, sometimes I try to change the subject. It just depends on who else is around us. Very rarely, is it just her and I, because I don't spend time with her unless I really have to because of the larger family.

And I don't want to be rude or cause a, you know, a big family curfuffle by telling her, you know, you're being rude, you're being a jerk, can you stop, you know, it just feels so impossible to me because of the larger family dynamic. Let me ask you something. When you get angry, do you really, like, is it uncontrollable anger? I'm an enneagram one. if that makes any sense. I'm the perfectionist type that just internalizes everything. What's your star sign? That'll make sense to her.

No, what I'm saying to you is what I do a lot, and it gets me in problems, right? Is because I know, like once you piss me off, once I've gotten pissed off and I've gone beyond, there's no, I'm getting ready to get with your ass in a really wild way, right? And probably when I'm done getting with you, we're going to have to sever ties unless you emotionally get over the fact that I just ran you into the ground. So a lot of times I try to avoid those situations by being the nicer person, the bigger person or the I, you know, and over time that builds up and it's frustrating to you because it's like you're going gray rock all the time while your sister going hot lava. You need to get with her. In these moments, you need to be like,

hey, bitch, hold on a second. Why are you talking crazy to me like that? What's up? What have I done? no, because as long as you allow it, it's going to get done that way. I agree. I think, like, you have to face it honestly. Like, and even if she can't be honest, you have to get her to be honest. Like, you have to be like, listen, this is ridiculous. We hate each other. Why do we hate each other?

Let's talk about it. Would you rather, I would like to figure this out. Let's figure this out together. Like, what can I do? I'll do anything to have as a normal relation. Do you fucking hate me? Like, you have to have, like, a moment of real honesty to get, because you guys then can actually break all the tension and come together. Yeah. Sorry that I'm yelling. No,

you're right. You're passionate. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So that I. She was passionate because she was talking about her and I. That's how we, we're also these sisters. Did you write this letter and tell her to go put it in? Shut up. Shut up. Oh. But yeah, but I also. I can't, I can't, I can't time out Chelsea like that. But I, but also, I feel like there can't be like tension without two people having the tension. Do you know I mean? Like, if she, you can't, there has to be something coming from you too that is like an explosive energy. And that's why it should, it needs to combust.

You know, like, you can't dance when somebody's not dancing. Yeah. I mean, I can actually. That's my only time I should be dancing is when no one else is dancing. Yeah, but you're right. I mean, that's good, you can't. But you seem like you're in this thing by yourself. And Chelsea's right.

You got to engage your sister in it. because she also has to feel uncomfortable. And you think she's writing a letter somewhere about what you got, you know, she's not writing a letter. She's over there baking cookies for your nieces and nephews. And you over here trying to figure out how you're going to get your situation back with your sister. You guys are sisters. Either that's important to you or it's not.

If it is, then some egos are going to have to shift. Some conversations are going to have to happen. And hopefully at the end of it, you guys remain sisters and build on a better relationship. Yeah. And I think the time to have this conversation is not after she's just said something that activates you, but like before you go into time with your mom or whatever. You know what?

Catherine, let me just say this. I say wait till she act, because then she knows who, because I must, for real, if you do this, every time you do this,

you activate this. You understand? You start training. You do this? And then I become this, right? I have the conversation with her here. If you want to keep meeting me here,

bitch, I'm available to meet you here. Sorry to keep going your sister, bitch. of y'all's a bitch. But, you know. Sounds like she is. Right.

For sure. One of he is a bitch. I don't know. We got to hear your sister story. Maybe she'll write her next week. But what I'm telling you is, the reality is every time she's like this, you got to give her the results of what that is. So that at some point she probably go, whoa, hey, can we talk? She might be coming to you to talk because if you're going to be a warm bad bitch, so am I.

That would shock her so badly because I think everyone in my family is so used to me being like, you know, just so non-reactive to things because that's how I deal. And she's not saying this stuff to you to not get a reaction. She might be surprised at a reaction, but she's saying it to go to you. I mean, even if it's something as simple as like she says something, shouldn't you're like, wow, I can't believe you felt comfortable saying that to me or I can't believe you felt it was okay to say that to me. And I can't believe it's not but a bitch. But I'm telling you right now is the next time you say something wild to me, I'm all over the place.

You have the profile of a serial killer. understand. Serial killers lay dormant. Nothing. Doing nothing. They also running businesses and baking cookies and shit. And then one day you're going to flip out. I make sure redact my address from anything that might be on any paperwork. Because you're not going to come kill me for giving you bad advice. I can tell you what Chelsea lives. Actually, I have to move because you stayed here. Oh, that's the thing they got her to move. I have considered from time to time saying to her, you know, I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Because I think if she could actually hear herself say.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good first step. Could you repeat that? That's a good first step on your journey back to having this turn into a... Could you repeat that? Because I know, I know you are. Yeah. Yeah.

Somewhere in the middle is some good advice for you on this. I think we really have to know. Like, somewhere in the middle. Like I we definitely unfortunately got high, hot, very high. But she's, that's Denzel when she talks like that. But I do, I do want you, like no matter what, all joking aside with this, we do want you to have this conversation with your sister. You owe it to yourself because you feel a certain way about it.

So even though it may be, you might be nervous about it, you're intimidated by it. I promise you, once you have that conversation, whether it's good or bad, there's going to be a relief that you feel because at least you're going to have some better answers than you do now. You have no idea what's going on with you and your sister. You know what? That's a very good point. Like I had several years ago a similar conversation with my sister where we like went to dinner.

We knew we were going to hash some shit out. We had a lot of martinis. Like we talked about it. And like there were some things that she had said to me in the past that she didn't know were as hurtful as they were. And it was, you know, repetitive stuff. And there were things I had said to her that I had no, like, dumb jokes I was trying to make. And like, oh, that was really actually very hurtful to her.

So it really was eye-opening to be able to, like, have a conversation where you know you are going in to have this conversation about like, we need to work some shit out. We need to figure some stuff out so that we can be around each other when we want to be here for our mom because that's where you want to be. Right. Yeah. That is the most important thing to me. Exactly. Exactly. And I, you know, I like, I mean, my mom is in really.

good health. But, you know, I like to think that she sees this tension, even though she absolutely refuses to weigh in on it. And I think she would like, she would like to leave this earth knowing that her two girls love each other and can get along. And somebody has to be the cycle breaker. Yeah. So be that person. You can break the cycle. Yeah. So what you're doing isn't working. So you have to change your approach and then break the cycle. Be a disruptor. This is a good Disruptor. You're a bad disruptor. All right. Well, I'm glad you called in and keep us posted. Let us know what happens. I really appreciate the advice and all the good advice that y'all give on your show over the years of.

It's helped me a lot in different areas and I've passed it along to other people that have come to me for advice. You know, you guys could be just like drinking martinis all day long and not helping people, but you're spending your time doing this and I really appreciate it. Thanks, Katie. Yeah, I love that. Thank you so much. All right. Good luck with this conversation. Thanks. All right. Thanks.

You could do it. Bye. Bye. All right. And that's it for us today. Thank God this is over. I know. I know.

I have to be honest. I dropped out during the middle of one of those letters. I just was like my head was in the fucking clouds. I was thinking about what I'm going to eat later. Yeah. No. I was stepping high at that moment. I was thinking you guys would be stone.

I picked some very like complicated questions. This was a great episode. Great questions. I like all the drama. Good, good. No, I like heavy stuff like that. like that. Yamanica, you brought it today.

You absolutely brought it. Thank you. You appreciate that. And listen, again, I'm so excited to be on Dear Chelsea Network. This is... I can't wait till we get the color of your foundation right. I can't wait for that. I can't wait till you stop bringing that up, bitch.

I told you, I'm fine. Don't worry. Don't be checking bitches about their face. Thank you. So anyway, if you want to hear less helpful advice, but more in your ass shit, please go listen to You're the Problem, myself included, with Yamanika on the Dear

Chelsea Network. This is very exciting, you guys. Please go listen to Yamanika so you can get a dose of her the way I I want you to understand what my life is like. So I want everyone to be... You are my mama. Yeah, and you can follow her on Instagram also,

but if you see her do a live, please report her to me. To you or to Instagram? To me. be doing life. Now that she has a podcast, she does not need to do as many lives. I agree, I agree.

In a blue. Okay. That means once every 30 seconds. No, it doesn't. All right. I love you, sort of. I love you.

I love you. Okay, you know you do. It's called what's, you're the problem? You're the problem. Would you like to learn the name? It's also, Catherine, I love you too.

Thank you. I love you too, yeah. I have so much fun with you. Edit that part out. Yeah. So what? It's you're the problem with. with Yamanika on Dear Chelsea Network.

Do you want to get a massage before you go to the airport tonight? I would love to. All right, bye. If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flash Kadabra.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. Hey, everybody. I'm Tarika Foster Brasby. What's up, y'all? I'm your girl, Cheryl Swoops. When you tune in to a new episode of our podcast levels to this, you're definitely going to get some spy CWNBA analysis. But we're more than just hoops. And the real conversation is what we actually breathe.

It's been really, really cool seeing kind of these wins. and just really step into their power off the court and understand that they aren't basketball, right? And they're not asking for permission? Listen to levels to this with Stroh's Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Mangish Hatigula and I'm back with a new season of my podcast, Skyline Drive. This time I talked to scientists, biopunks, curmudgins, blues owners, super seniors,

and Goa's top cryotherapy lab to try to understand this obsession with living forever and what it means for all of us. And I get into a bit of trouble along the way. I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined. They say it works. I don't know.

Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can superstars even exist the way they used to? 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture. where we still consume things in community. Everybody wanted to be Beyonce at that point. I don't think we'll ever see another beyond.

What does it mean to be black and eat in America? You will never make me feel bad for being a black girl, for being a black American girl, ever. From music to food to the conversations shaping black culture right now, therapy for black girls is bringing it all to the mic. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, my love.

I'm Ryan Weiss, and for the past 15 years, I've been an emotional intelligence coach and a spiritual guide, and I'm sharing with you my new podcast, Waking Up with Ryan. Waking Up with Ryan is a daily audio video podcast, here to help you connect with yourself before the noise of the day takes over. So let's start our days together with a moment of calm that's just for you. Listen to Waking Up with Ryan on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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