Dear Hank & John - 102: The Friend Bucket

Episode Date: August 7, 2017

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us: [e-mail] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hagen John. Of course I prefer to think of it Dear John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast where me and my brother John, we answer your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Hey John, how you doing? Hank, we're both very tired. I know that we're often tired when we record the pod, but like right now, I've been tired for a few months and turtles all the way down is finally,

it's like I'm in the last hours of it belonging to me, you know, like in like, I don't know like 200 hours or so or maybe 150 hours, it will never belong to me ever again. And it's belonged to me for like six years. So I have chosen to spend these last several hundred hours with turtles all the way down awake. And there are times when I have regretted that decision, but I also can't seem to make any other decision. How are you? I'm good. You know, I feel bad that I haven't read your book because you sent it to me about a week ago

and I still haven't read it. But I do hope that you understand that I can't do anything. Yeah. The candle is burning at both ends and it will not last the night. But are there, could you have a candle and you like split off the middle part

into like a third end and light that one too? I believe that would actually give you four ends. And if so, he would immediately light all four of them because that's the kind of person he is. No, I've actually, I've made my candle into like the weapon from the movie crawl and it spins really fast, so it's extra oxygenated, so all five ends can burn really fast.

Is that a movie, I'm just, I'm not familiar with the movie, but is it a movie in which the krill that Blue Whales eat to turn evil? No. That's disappointing. No, in fact, I couldn't, I can't even tell you very anything about the movie crawl.

I just remember I watched it when I was a child on television and I was so in love. It's just, it's, I was, it was the best thing. It was, and I should probably watch it again so I know how bad it is, but I really liked it then. Well, no hurry on reading my new book, but quick reminder to our listeners, they can read it on October 10th and get assigned copy to by going to probably signed Turtles.com. The number one website on the internet right now,

it's blowing up. One of the things I did this weekend that I actually quite enjoyed was hankler fishing, almost 5,000 pieces of paper, $3,000. Oh, almost 3,000. Oh, gee, God, wow, there's you do it. You do in this a lot.

I did not finish, I've not done yet, but I'm like two thirds of the way done, and it's not an insignificant task, John. No, and that's only, I will remind you, one and a half percent of the total signatures. So, I feel bad for only doing one and a half percent of the total signatures. So it's, I feel bad for only doing one and a half percent now. Well, I also feel bad. I wanted to send you a second box, but you said no.

I know, I feel bad, but that doesn't mean that here's the thing that you gotta know. Just because you feel bad doesn't mean you have to do something. Like I can, I can, I can feel guilt and be like, I, it's really too bad that I'm not doing this thing and I feel bad that I'm not doing it, but also I'm not going to, because I feel better about not having to do that thing. All right, Hank, that's actually a pretty good transition

to our first question. We're skipping the short poem because I read, I recited half of that at the St. Vincent Millais poem, so we're good on the short poem front. We're moving on. Okay. This question comes from Matt, and it involves, you know, something that's difficult that you might or might not do. Dear John and Hank, what is the largest terrestrial animal you would feel comfortable fighting

in hand-to-hand combat? Likewise, what is the smallest terrestrial animal you think would best you? Art, Varks, and Armadillos, Matt. John, I think that there are times when my cat could take me. Yeah, I mean, I actually, I was thinking that as well, Hank, like there's a coyote in my backyard. I mean, it's not really a backyard. There's a coyote in the forest behind my house, and I see it sometimes, and it probably weighs like 30 pounds,

and I see it, and I think we both know that if you're hungry, I'm dead. You could totally take a coyote. I mean, I think I got, I think like I'd have a hard time like fighting and winning against a porcupine, right? Because like, what am I gonna do? Like, where am I gonna punch you? How am I gonna strangle a porcupine? Like, I might be able to get away without any trouble,

but I don't feel like I'm gonna win. Similarly, I don't think I could kill a skunk. I think the smell would overpower me. I would lose consciousness and the skunk would slowly eat me over the course of three days. So John, definitely the largest terrestrial animal I could kill. Yeah.

It's probably a tortoise, like a Galapagos tortoise, I would just hold it and prevent it from getting food. Yeah. I don't know if it could hold it. They weigh like 400 pounds. But like there's a number of sizes. It would maybe a juvenile. I feel like you and a Galapagos tortoise,

you'd probably win, but it would take like 14 days of hand-to-hand combat before a winner was finally declared. Yeah, you know what I mean? John, I'm in an armadillo recently. A three-banded armadillo, they can fully enrol, meaning they can become 100% ball and they can just roll down a hill. One of the few animals that can do that,

I think maybe the only vertebrate. And what I found out is that in addition to being able to fully enroll, this three-brown and armadillo will close almost all the way and leave a little gap intentionally so that a predator will put its nose into that little gap to try and get it and then it closes all the way.

And it totally will like, like basically bite but with its armor plates, the nose of the predator. Which is, and this happened to my friend, Jesse, who runs Animal Wonders and takes care of all these exotic animals and her hand finger. Did she survive? Her finger was stuck inside the armadillo for like a half an hour.

But she lived. She did survive. So we could take an armadillo or at least Jesse could. Yeah, I mean, do I have any tools? I guess I don't because then you can't have hand to hand or hand to. No weapons, no punching, no or punching, but no like baseball bats or anything. It's just what can, could you take down a coyote with your arms and I don't think I could?

All right, John, I got another question. It's from Katrina, who asks, dear Hank and John, my suburb job consists of scanning and destroying old files at a law firm. During this process, I have to remove all of the staples from documents before I feed them through a scanner. I have come to accumulate many mugs full of used staples. The summer is only halfway done, so more will be added to the collection. It feels wrong to just throw away all these staples. What would you suggest I do with them? Sometimes paper cups and fasteners Katrina.

I mean, you definitely have to melt them down into like bullets or something. You've got to melt them down into something awesome. Well, what is a staple made of? Well, that's actually much more of a Hank question than it is a John question. Well, John, it just so happens that inside of my brain without Googling this at all, modern staples for paper staples are made

from zinc plated steel wires glued together and bent to form a long strip of staples. So there's it. That sounds like something that you just already knew. And not at all. Like you're currently on the Wikipedia page for staple and then in parentheses, fastenable. Because there's more than one kind of staple. Yeah.

So staples, the store. Yeah. There's presumably some one kind of staple. Yeah, so staples, the store, there's presumably some other kind of staple. Where's the disambigulation page for a staple? There are surgical staples. The staple write, the medieval write of certain German ports to require merchant vessels to unload and display their goods for sale for a certain period, often three days. There's the statue of the staple. Sure. There's staples, the American rapper born in 1993. There's the famous American politician, King Staples, who was a Republican member of the

Wisconsin State Assembly. That seems like a very low bar to have to jump over to get a Wikipedia page. And there is of course the Christian post-hardcore band staple, because apparently there are Christian post-hardcore bands. I mean, that's actually great. That's great. That's wonderful that there is a Christian post-hardcore band. I wonder if there's a Christian pre-hardcore band. Oh, and of course there's Staples Canada,

which is like Staples, but it's in Canada. Oh, oh, I thought that was the name of a town and that maybe Staples just bought. Oh God, that's a great idea. Hank, speaking of which, have we finally gotten to a point in our lives where we could buy Winner South Dakota, the town that is exactly equidistant

between our two homes. You know, probably not. It's a property value is surprisingly expensive. We gotta buy that McDonald's, we gotta buy the holiday in Express and Sweet's winner, and then I'll... Do they have a holiday in Express? They do have a holiday in Express.

Wow, all right, yeah, we definitely can't afford that. We gotta buy that. I'm not a regular trader. I'm not a regular trader. I'm not a regular trader. I'm not a regular trader. I'm not a regular trader. that. We gotta buy that. I'm not a writer, try to buy holiday and expresses, okay? Like, that is a thriving town if it has a holiday and express. Let's get back to this question of the staples.

Yeah, so you're gonna get some zinc and you're gonna get some steel. And zinc is mostly what pennies are made out of, so you could send that off to the penny pleat people and they could make pennies out of it. Oh yeah, that's a great deal. Probably you get like a third of a penny out of those staples. I think that what you should do is you should freak out the attorneys that you work with.

I think you should start spelling stuff out in staples at night when they're at home on their desk. And then in the morning they'll be like, why does it say put $50 in the scanner or I will tell your secrets in staples on my desk. Right, good, good, good. Is there some kind of like fashion options here? That's a great idea. You gotta make a chain mail sweater.

Yeah, chain mail. That's it. You make the chain mail sweater out of staples. No one will mess with you if you have a chainmail sweater. Also, it will be impossible to take off because the staples will not loop completely and they will just bind to whatever you're wearing underneath. So...

Furthermore, if you had a chainmail sweater, then you could take a coyote. Yeah, definitely. No, I think you could take a coyote wither without a chainmail sweater, John. I just think that you need to be properly motivated. No, no, no, no. But I could definitely take a coyote wither without a chainmail sweater, John. I just think that you need to be properly motivated. No, but I could definitely take a coyote

if I had a chainmail sweater on it. For no other reason than it would make me feel super confident. I feel like it's really nice to hear that they're using some paper cups and fasteners because of course those can be reused. Staples is just a one time thing. And I, you know, also when you have a big stack of documents, it's not just like the hand stapler,

like the swing line that they got in office space, but like it's almost like a staple gun, and it's like shoo, gonna go through, like you could go through, you could bind like two pieces of wood together with that thing. I've been using a nail gun recently for a home improvement project, and oh my God. Like what, I mean, I am done with hammers.

It is over between me and hammers. Nail guns are amazing. I'm sure that like eventually I will nail my finger to a piece of wood and I will be like, maybe hammers aren't so bad after all, but right now, man, I am loving life with a nail gun. Let's move on to another question, Hank. All right, I feel like we did a really good job.

Katrina, the short answer is you're gonna have a couple mugs of staples for the rest of your life. So just have a question. No, you're gonna make a chainmail sweater and it's gonna be amazing. This question comes from Sarah, who writes, do you jump in, Hank, why is it that when something is spinning quickly such as a fan, a wheel on a car,

or a fidget spinner, the object itself appears to be spinning in the opposite direction than it is actually rotating. Vita and Sarata mores Saratissima, Sara. I believe that means life is uncertain, death is certain, but I'm just guessing. John, I don't know the answer to this question. I know the answer to this question. It's finally happened.

It's finally happened. There is a question about science that Hank does not know the answer to, which happens all the time, but he's not pretending to know the answer, and I do know the answer. Are you sure that you're not wrong? I'm pretty sure that I'm not wrong. Okay, I know why cameras don't, I know why cameras see them go backwards or go and slowly.

Yes, it is because our eyes are not actually that dissimilar from cameras. It's because the frame rate in our brain is not infinite. We see individual images. We do not see motion and then we create motion with our brains and that makes things weird when they're moving really fast. Hmm, I mean, I know, I am surprised that our eyes work that way, if they indeed do. And I look forward to emails from people telling us whether or not John was right about that one. I'm sure I can't wait for the corrections, they will be Legion. Um, okay.

Hey, how about this one from Emma, John, who asks, Dear Hank and John, okay, so I may have made an impulse purchase of 527 glow in the dark stars from Amazon. They were only $3, so don't judge me. Well, gazing up into my homemade galaxy, however, I couldn't help but wonder how the stars are able to shine. How do things glow in the dark? Space is vast and mysterious. Emma. Okay, so my theory is that glow in the dark. Space is vast and mysterious. Emma. Okay, so my theory is that glow in the dark

stuff absorbs light and then spits it back out when it's dark. Well, it spits it back out whether or not it's dark, but kind of yes. So, you know, like some things you look at, like some markers or pieces of paper, and they, like for some reason, they seem to be, it's not just the color they have. They're also like throwing out a, like more color than you feel like they should, or a different color than you feel like they should. This is especially obvious when you use black light.

So you have a black light, and you're shining the black light on like a white thing and suddenly it looks like that thing is glowing. There's like way more light coming out of the shirt than there is going into it. It appears, right? Right. Yes. Yes. I'm familiar with this. So what is in fact happening is that there is light going into that shirt that you can't see. And then it's being re-radiated, or not radiated, I guess, but it's being re-

it's like it's absorbed by the atoms in the shirt and then it is re-emitted in a different wavelength. So it goes in, electrons do some magic stuff, and then when the electrons do their magic stuff, it cut like another photon comes out, and that photon is at a different wavelength that you can see. In a similar way, when you have glow in the dark thing,

the photon go in, and then it messes with the electrons, and then the photon comes out, but there's a delay. It doesn't happen immediately. It happens a bunch, and it happens all the time and it happens in sort of a curve from like, you know, the moment when you take the light away is the most photons coming out and then slowly as time goes on,

fewer and fewer of the electrons or the photons come out. So that's basically what's happening. I got a huge, I don't know a huge amount about that, but when light hits a thing, it can change the energy level of a photon, or of an electron going around the atom, and then when it drops back down to its old energy level, which will eventually happen sometimes immediately

and sometimes after a fair bit of time, it will release another photon. Well, that is interesting. Good. Glad. I'm so, I'm glad I know that. It burns out. I was basically right all along. And also to the extent that I wasn't right,

I don't really understand. Let's move on to this other question from anonymous. Who writes, hello brothers green. My husband and I just found out that we are pregnant. Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm, your pregnant, he is... Excited. He's pleased. Or yes, we're very excited but would like to wait to tell friends and family until the

second trimester when the risk of losing the baby is lower. However, friends and family have already been asking us about our plans to have children and some have even asked us directly if I am pregnant. Those people should be banned. They should not be allowed anymore. I am sure that these questions are well-intentioned, but I still find it hard and awkward to respond. No duh. Signed off anonymous.

This happened to us. I don't know if this happened to you. It probably did. I probably did it for God's sake. I'm sorry if I did. This happened to us all the time because Sarah wouldn't be drinking wine and people would be like, why aren't you drinking wine? Are you pregnant? And Sarah would be like, I don't want to talk about it. It's like, well now I either have to lie or tell you the thing that I obviously

didn't want to tell you. Yeah. And there are good reasons why people don't want to talk about pregnancy in the first trimester. And that is, or whenever. It shouldn't be up to anybody, but you, when you tell people that you're pregnant and who you tell. And it is super annoying to ask, and it's incredibly incredibly invasive and don't ask. Yeah, yeah, I mean, especially like the thing that, there's, I mean, so serious note, like some people try very hard and for a very long time to get pregnant and can't and then you're kind of bringing

up a source subject, some people have repeated miscarriages and then you're bringing up that and that's no fun for them to deal with so in general. Yeah, it's just sort of like, I understand why you want to bring it up and why it's funny and why we do it, but there's also this, it's kind of like you go there and 90% of the time

or 99% of the time, it's fun and a cute, fun thing that happened. And even if you are pregnant and you're like, okay, fine, I'll have to tell you that I'm pregnant and you've uncovered my mystery. And it's not that big of a deal. But there's that small percentage chance that it's a really, you're bringing up a super source

object and that maybe we don't, and they should be up to that person whether or not they're gonna bring that up so Also, it's not 90 or 99% of the time. It's way closer to 75% of the time. I mean something like a quarter of all pregnancies ended miscarriage so it's just There is no reason to bring it up. Yep As far as I'm concerned that's that I'm I'm sure I'm a little bit biased in that but So it's just, there is no reason to bring it up. Yep. As far as I'm concerned. That's, I'm sure I'm a little bit biased in that, but yeah, your responsibility, you

should feel free to lie to those people, would be my answer, because I think they have put themselves in the position where they are going to get lied to. Yeah, and then when you tell them later, they won't be like, oh my god, you're a terrible person for lying to me. You know? Or if they are, you can just be like, well, that's strike two. Ha ha ha, you one more chance,

and you're out of the friend bucket. This is the bucket where I keep my friends, and you're leaking out the bottom, my bud. Hey, I think that's a wonderful image that we should use more often. I think we should tell people, you're about to leak out of my friend. Hey, I think that's a wonderful image that we should use more often. I think we should tell people, you're about to leak out of my friend bucket

if you don't watch out, Mr. I got a friend bucket and it's got holes in it. Maybe like, what can we do to patch up our friend buckets, John? So they're not as leaky. I feel like actually my friend bucket is not leaky at all. I haven't lost a friend in like a decade. Now, I will say in my early 20s, I used to lose a lot of friends.

But I haven't like had a friend dump me in years, which maybe it's like maybe you got a bucket and it's not leaking, but you're like sort of going through your life and it's sloshing around a little bit. So when you have your bucket super full of friends, some are gonna fall out. It's just gonna happen and that's okay. But when you're like 37 and you have like two friends left,

it's like, well maybe I should be a little more careful with this thing, and also it's harder for them to fall out because, yeah. Maybe, I mean, I think that also might be one of those places where like the metaphor itself is limited in how far you can take. Maybe, possibly, who knows? It could be.

It could be. It could be. But there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, and I've only got one friend left. Alright, let's go to this other question from Renee, who writes Dear Green Brothers. My best friend and I shared in an apartment while in college, and during that time I gave her access to my Netflix account. Uh-oh, somebody's leaking out the bottom of the friend bucket. She has now graduated and while I was happy to let her use the account while we live together, I feel like it is time for her to get her own. I pay for Netflix for my whole family, myself, my three siblings, my parents, and my grandmother, and having her use the account

adds another person to an already limited server. She also uses my profile and fills the queue with shows I have no interest in watching. Oh, come on! I mean, don't put and fills the queue with shows I have no interest in watching. Oh, come on! I mean, that's- Don't put stuff in the queue! That is one of the worst things I've ever heard in my whole life. Oh my god. I-

It's not your account! You can- like, it's what- like, you're being done a tremendous $9 a month favor, $10 a month favor now. I'm shivering. And you- and you're just And you're abusing that privilege. Renee, you need to drill a hole in that friend blanket. I mean, you have to, if you're using someone else's Netflix account, you have to, and by the way, I include my own spouse in this.

Like when I watch Netflix as Sarah, I have to be an absolute ghost. Don't rate anything. Don't cue anything. Don't list anything. Just be as close to a ghost as I can be. And that's, we're married, you know? You have separate Netflix profiles?

Of course we have separate Netflix profiles. We don't have identical interests. It says, who's watching Netflix? The moment you log on to Netflix, and I say me, or Sarah, or kids. And the kids, I mean, oh my God, the things my children watch on Netflix. If I have to watch, there's all these Netflix kids shows with no words in them, Hank. I don't, you're not familiar with this yet.

But like, there's the show Oscars Oasis that I guess is like, you know, it works in every country because there's no language. It's fascinating the stuff that they choose to watch when they get a hold of Netflix like before we wake up on a Saturday morning. But anyway, yes, Sarah and I have separate Netflix accounts because we watch different kinds of things, okay? We have like when we watch Netflix together,

we can watch on either person's Netflix account. But when watching stuff alone, I don't wanna have my bucket poisoned by all the weird, you know, crime procedures that Sarah likes. I mean, Catherine and I have the exact same interest, John. I find that weird. Indeed, we do not.

And I guess, is that, is that, is that, is that looks confused by us? They're like, who are these people that like house of cards and the Vicar of Dibbley? It's the Vicar of Dibbley, a real show. Yeah. Oh my God, I mean, that show sounds like the best made up show. It's like, you walk into the BBC offices, you sit down in front of, you know, the person who makes all the BBC shows, you sit down in front of, you know, the person who makes all the BBC shows,

you sit down, you look them dead in the eye and you say, the Vicar of Dibbley and they just like pull out a stamp that says yes. Is there like, here is our highest budget, $300, go make it. You... Yeah, they order like 250 episodes. Yeah, after you say the Vickard did. Katherine doesn't even like the Vickard of Dibbley that much.

Mostly mom likes that show. She watches it on our Netflix account. Oh man, anyway, point being Renee, obviously obviously you need to have a talk with your best friend about putting things in your Netflix queue. That is, it's, oh, it's not cool. It's a little, I don't understand when you were living together, why that person had to have access to your Netflix account at all.

It's just, it's in the TV. Like did you have, did she need to watch it on her computer? And I guess, so you can watch it like different things and different, oh man, but then you're stuck. Honestly, I would go to the best friend, I would go to the best friend and I would say, I will pay $50 for your first five months of Netflix on your own so that you can build your own queue.

And I can get your weird stuff out of my queue so I don't have to keep watching the vicar dip. I mean, it is after, like it is best friend though. Like you can't, you're not gonna unfriend this person. Do you think there's anybody with a vicar of Diably tattoo? I mean, there's only one way to find out, John. I know, hold on, it's a race. It's a race. Get me to Google images. Oh my god. Yes. Oh my god. There is.

Oh wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh my god. That is a vicar of Dipli tattoo. Really less vicar of Dipli. Oh man. And it's a big smile. It's a big vicar of Dipli smile. That's going on the Patreon. Oh, save that to desktop right now. Daddy, oh man, I wanna go back in time to the moment before I saw the big, big, big tattoo. Oh my gosh. Oh. That is, it's not a small tattoo.

Don't you think it's different? Like, I've been very lucky that people have been willing to put stuff that I wrote in quotations on their body, but so far as I know there's no tattoos of like my face. I think it's different if it's a tattoo, like that is a tattoo of the vicar of Diably's smiling face with the cross and the, you know, priest out fit and everything. Oh boy. Oh boy. priest, priest outfit and everything. Yep. Oh boy.

Oh boy. And so, yeah. Oh man. I really, yeah. John Green face tattoo. No, that's just you with peanut butter on your face is all I got. Well, there you go.

There you go. I think there's something extremely intense about having somebody's face on your body for the rest of your life. Well, the figure of Dibbley is a very good show. It's very funny. And I appreciate super fans in all stripes, whether you're sending in clips for weird Nerdfighter projects or whether you're tattooing the Vickr of Dibbley on your bicep.

Hank, if you like the Vickr of Dibbley so much, you know what I think you should do? No. I think you should get the Vickr of Dibby so much, you know what I think you should do? No. I think you should get a Vickr of Dibby tattoo. I don't have any tattoos, John. I know it would be a great first tattoo. And people would be like, so why did you pick the Vickr of Dibby?

And you'd be like, oh, it's for a goof on my podcast. No, I'll be like, I've never actually seen the program. I wanted to pick up piece of media that I liked, but didn't love. Just to be sort of representative of like, they're like, I don't want to be to all anything. So this is more of a celebration of sort of liking stuff, more than a celebration of this particular show. Yeah, it came down between the Vicar of of Dibbley and NCIS Los Angeles.

Which show I have never seen. I don't even know if it's real. Speaking of which, today's podcast is brought to you by the Vickr of Dibbley, the Vickr of Dibbley, now on Netflix. No, it is. It is. And also available wherever British people are. It's just like they walk into a room and it just happens. This podcast is initially brought to you by 527 glow-in-the-dark stars available, apparently, on Amazon.com, for

three bucks. And of course today's podcast is also brought to you by fighting to the death against a coyote, fighting to the death against a coyote, not totally confident. Yeah, no. Unless you got that, unless you got that chain mail made out of staples. Hank, I want to answer another question because I actually feel like I might be able to help with this one probably not, but maybe this question comes from Dina who writes, Dear John and Hank, I've come to realize I have a major social anxiety disorder and it's really starting to back me into a corner.

Then they talk about going to an expensive therapist for six months and feeling like they weren't making progress. And then there are a number of phone calls I have to make and emails I have to send some are intimidating others are so simple they shouldn't intimidate me but I'm just avoiding all of it and I know I am and I keep doing and I feel like I'm in such a rut. I don't know if I should see another therapist or if it's just time to grow up. I don't know this problem is only getting worse. Your dubious advice would be appreciated.

Dina or possibly Dina. I'm not very good at pronunciations. So this is something that everybody experiences, not just people who have anxiety problems, right? Like Hank, you definitely experienced needing to send an email and not being able to. Yes, in fact, I did that all weekend. So in my experience, and I wanna be clear that I am not a therapist and I do think that

you should see a therapist, I think that you should see somebody who is experienced in helping with this. However, in my experience, avoidance does not make the problem better, at least over time. It might make you feel better right now, but it won't, it will, you're right that the problems tend to get worse when avoidance is the main strategy. So here's my strategy, like in that email, you say some of these emails are so simple, they shouldn't intimidate me. But they do, so it doesn't matter, like,

should or shouldn't. Like, don't put that value judgment on it. Let's just send those emails today, actually let's not if you're driving No distracted driving pause the pause the pod pull over get out your laptop get connected to wireless Get on get on the internet Wi-Fi. That's on the internet. Yeah, get on that panero Wi-Fi and Net Wi-Fi, that's on the interstate. Yeah, get on that Panera Wi-Fi. And break that task up into whatever many little chunks you need to break it up into in order to get it done.

Because once you start rolling down the hill of getting things done and stopping avoiding them, like anything, it gets easier each time. And you will love the feeling of being on the other side of this, and you know that. But the only way to get on the other side of it is to break it up into tiny little tasks. You open your email program, you go to compose,

you hit reply, whatever. And you read the email to get to the parts that you need to reply to, and then you write the reply, and then you send it. Just break it up into constituent parts, and once you start, it's going to feel so much better. Because I think, in my experience anyway, it's the avoidance, it's the sort of behavioral response to the anxiety that makes, that I think will make the anxiety better by like not doing the thing that's scaring me, but often in the medium and long run makes the anxiety worse. Absolutely the case for me. I mean so much of the negative emotions I have are due to, you know, in part having signed up to do more than I may be physically capable

of, but also knowing that those things are there and not doing it because it's the not doing it that makes me uncomfortable and unhappy, it's not the actual process of doing it. Not doing it is holding me back from doing it in a weird way. Does that make sense? Right. Yeah, no, I mean, a lot of it, yeah, absolutely. The dread of not doing something becomes overwhelming.

It becomes the primary experience that you're having. It becomes the primary experience that you're having. It becomes the work. I've found that ever since I was a kid, I remember being a kid and my parents saying to me, if you just started this project, when you started worrying about it, it would be over. That's still true for me. It's still something I struggle with, but that's what works for me. Like, I still, it's still something I struggle with. But that, that's what works for me is just like saying, this starts now and we're gonna break it up into tiny little parts and I'm not gonna judge myself

for it being hard because it may not be hard for everyone, but it's super hard for me and that's the way it is. Before we move on to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. I want to share an important piece of news. Hank, you may remember that a few weeks ago, Sarah wrote in to ask about her husband shaving his head, because he wanted to shave his head to know what his head looks like. And we answered, and we told him that he should shave his head. So there was a head shaving party. Good news, Sarah Reports that her husband's head does not look weird shaved

And there is an amazing video of it of the highlights of the head shaving party because they went all out. It was a full-on Head shaving bash and we are putting that on the Patreon because it is I mean watching the video about it. Absolutely magnificent. And this bash is just appears to be two people in a room with an electric gun. I mean, first off, you know that there is a third person because somebody is holding the camera. Three people is a party. Sarah is wearing what appears to be a formal gown. So it is obviously a party. Hey, Brent John.

What? You are confused by, you are confused by, there is another man, another man who's shown up. There is, okay, there's at least four people, one of whom came pre-pre-head shaved or at least pre-balled. Oh yeah, he was, he's not haved back. He didn't advance.

He's not shaved, that just happened to him over over years. Is he drinking La Croix? Very possibly. Hold on, I got to zoom in. I got to go to 720p and that is a La Croix. In fact, I can tell you right now. That's a pink La Croix. What is that pink flavor? Is it cran raspberry? I've never had a pink La Croix. I don't think. I'm a real pop-up fan. So yeah, I can confirm that's a Cran raspberry LaCroix, and I can confirm that this is a party, because if there's LaCroix and four people, that is a bash.

And I'm looking at his head. His head is now shaved even more than his face is. And it looks great. It's got a great head. In terms of shape, I'm going to it's just, it's an A plus. I think good head shape. John. What is the news from Mars? Well, it looks like Elon Musk being, you know,

our only chance to beat our deadline of 2028 is has scheduled the launch, the first test launch of the Falcon Heavy rocket, which is the rocket that Iran hopes will take people to Mars and has enough oomph to have people on top of it and get them all the way there. And I will have its first test launch, not in 2013, John, when it was first scheduled, not in 2014, when it was first scheduled, not in 2014, when it was second scheduled. But indeed, this year, in November, John,

he has a look at for 2027, it's not good, not good at all. Indeed, this test launch might not even reach space. It probably will just be a super test. Their Mars mission dates have been pushed back to 2018 and 2020. And it seems unlikely that they'll hit that. You know Elon Musk is good at getting stuff done,

but he's not, and I'm not saying that it's like, I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I'm pretty impressed honestly. Not hitting deadlines, but also making things happen. It seems to be a lot of what's happening with my man Musk these days. Yeah, he seems to be one of those people who realizes that if he just slightly over-promises,

then he can get people, including himself, to work harder. Like he was like, we're gonna be done with the Tesla Model 3 in July and he was like, look, we finished one. We're not, I didn't say, I said, ah, not the, ah, you missed her face. That's right, it's a huge difference between, and Hank, the news from AFC Wimbledon is that a contractor has been announced. I don't know what that is.

Well, do you know how when you build a building? It is necessary to have a contractor like a contractor for like a building. Okay. Yeah. A contractor has been announced for the new stadium at Plow Lane, Andrew Scott Limited, which built Stoke City's stadium. They're in the Premier League now. So I don't know if there's necessarily a one-to-one correlation, but we can keep our fingers crossed. They are going to be, they are the preferred contractor for the new stadium at Plow Lane, really, really exciting news because as each of these little steps forward, it becomes more and more likely that indeed there will be a new stadium in Wimbledon's historic home, maybe even for

the 2019-2020 season, meaning that AFC Wimbledon are going to be back home at least eight years before humans will be on Mars, and probably ten years, or maybe even 14, 16, 40? beyond Mars and probably 10 years, or maybe even 14, 16, 40. Oh God, yeah, I mean, at this point, will you live to see a person on Mars, Hank? At this point, I just, I hope that I live to see human, humanity discontinued to get better in lots of different ways. And whether that's our understanding and exploration of our solar system and universe, that's great, but also just take care of each other and be

a nice and not not not driving not driving humans apart and make them angry at each other all the time. Hank, real quickly I just have to break a little bit of political news to you. People listening to this will be listening to it of course in the future when all of this will be known, but I'm about to tell you something that you don't know, which is that Donald Trump has just fired Anthony Scaramucci after eight days as White House communications director. And deeply shocking news. Oh my god, that is amazing.

Eight days. Hank. What? Oh. Well, you know, John, I'm not sad about it. No, I don't think I will not miss him, although I would like some continuity in American. You know, John, you know what I want?

I want to have never known that that guy exists. Yeah, that would have been great, but that's not how it went down. Hank, what did we learn today? That you can't keep track of this. And you just can't. The other day my mom said something about Coriulu and Dasky and I was like, who?

Because it's just there's too many of them. And they come so fast. It's something of a strategy to have these news cycles be constant. I think it must be a strategy because it's really effective in a way. I have a lot of friends who've published books in the last six months and there's a rule that you never publish a book in the six months before an American presidential election because you can't get any media to cover it because the only thing that the media is talking about is politics.

And the genius of what's happened in the Trump administration, I mean, you can say a lot of bad things about it and we have, but the genius of it is that it has taken that six months before presidential election and extended it infinitely. So now you also can't get any media attention for your new book because people are too busy talking about the events of the day. Because the events of the day are always perpetually dramatic and astonishing. Yeah, and dramatic is the word because it doesn't necessarily have a significant effect

on things, but it is dramatic, and it is sort of amazing. And it's not just, it's everything. Like in previous years, we've had the ability to like win a famine on the level of the one that is happening right now in Sudan could get some traction, and there's just no space for it Nobody is right. There's no space to talk about cholera and Yemen. There's no space

Yeah, no, that's very true and it's true for every news story that doesn't start Donald Trump today comma You know it's it's a weird time But we also learn that Oscars Oasis is a children's television program with no words. Well, I learned that. I have a feeling that you knew that quite well. We learned that you got a friend book at John

and you don't want to slash it too much, but you don't want to not slash it at all. We learned that it is not okay to put your shows in someone else's Netflix queue. No, no. And we learned that Catherine, I should probably have separate Netflix account or thingies so that it knows when to show up

that good ol' vicar from Dibbley and when it knows to show me what I would watch, which is mostly just nature documentaries. Hank, this is gonna stun you because it stunned me. Mm-hmm. Are you ready? Is it more about the mooch? Oh, uh, no. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

No, it's that, there is actually no English place name, Dibli. It is a made up place name, which seems so unlikely because all English place names sound made up, but the village of Dibli actually is made up. Why didn't they just pick one of the amazing actual names? No joke, why didn't they just pick like Hurtfordshire land bottoms, or whatever. Scum four.

What's he, what's he, yeah. Wetwank. Oh God, nothing matters. Thanks for listening to your Hank and John. If you have questions, you can email us at Hank wet wet. Oh god, nothing matters. Thanks for listening to your Hank and John. If you have questions, you can email us at Hank and John at gmail.com. We apologize for making the Trump media inundation

worst by mentioning him here at the end of the pod. That's our bad. But you can email us at Hank and John at gmail.com. Your emails are always welcome and appreciated. I also have to apologize because of course, by next Monday, when this comes out, this is going to be the oldest news that ever happened. 27, 27 high ranking White House officials will have been fired in the interim. Anthony Scaremucci will have been fired for longer than he was hired by that point. Hank, before I got you read the credits, I just want to

Rosie on it just sent me a tweet from at Sarcastic Rover, the Mars Rover, who is professionally sarcastic, who tweeted, Mars is so far away from Earth that we only just heard about scared Mochi getting hired as communications director. Congratulations. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm sure everything's going great. This podcast is produced by Rosie on a health row, Haas and Sheridan Gibson. It's edited by Nicholas Jenkins. Victoria Bon Giorno is our head of community and communications

and handles all of our Patreon stuff. You can go over and check our great Patreon where you can see that figure of Dibli tattoo and also dude getting a said shave. If you want to email us, that's at HankinJohn at gmail.com. We are on Twitter, John's John Green. I'm Hank Green. This music that you're hearing is by the great Gunnaroa and us, they say in our hometown.

Don't forget to be awesome.