Dear Hank & John - 126: The Space Alien Orange Peel Health Craze

Episode Date: February 5, 2018

Should I spend prom at Target or break up my friends? How does Legolas never run out of arrows? What would happen if all plants ceased to exist? And more! Email us: [e-mail] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Some things mentioned: The Anthropocene Reviewed: https://soundcloud.com/theanthropocenereviewed An Absolutely Remarkable Thing: hankgreen.com Eons: youtube.com/eons Scatterbrained: youtube.com/mentalflossvideo

Hello and all welcome to Dear Hank and John. Those are for the sake of a Dear John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast where two brothers answer your question, give you a brief advice on being you all the weeks used from both Mars and AFC Wimbleden. I've heard some good things about AFC Wimbleden John, but I guess we'll get to that later. How you doing? I'm doing well. Hank, as you may know, I've for many months been promising to do a podcast called The Anthropocene Reviewed, in which I reviewed different facets of the Human-Centered Planet, and I have made that podcast, and it is available for download now wherever you get your podcasts anywhere.

And right now, actually, it's number nine on the iTunes charts. So even though Anthropocene is very hard to spell, and it's kind of hard to search for the Anthropocene review, the first episode's been doing very well. It's about Canada Geese, which a bird species that almost went extinct about 90 years ago. And now it's something of a pest species, I would argue. And Dr. Pepper, the zero calorie soda that I argue

in this episode of the Anthropocene Reviewed is one of the greatest achievements in the history of the human species. I mean, I feel like we hit the sponsorships early, John. If that is that what has occurred? Well, I just wanted to get it out there. You can go search for the Anthropocene Reviewed and listen, it's only 17 minutes long.

It's not like an episode of Dear Hank and John, where you gotta put an album of your life into it. Whoa, Hank, I just saw an email from you. Oh boy. Yeah, so I have stuff going on as well. Oh, we both have lots of things going on. I love these. Have been really, it's been a stressful week,

but one of the things that has happened is I just got some book covers in and I sent these ones to John because I like them. Do you like them? I like all of them. It's five of them that I'm looking at right now. And unfortunately, I think the bad news is that I like all five a lot. Do you like them?

I like them a lot. The first round I liked less and I didn't even send to you in this one. This one I like a lot, especially like the middle one, the one that's right in the middle of the five. Yeah. I mean, there's sort of two different background designs. I like them both. Who's the coverage?

Well, I guess you can't say because you don't know if this person actually can't design. They won't tell me. The person is apparently very nervous to be working with me. So they won't tell me who the cover designer is. Are they nervous because they know it's going to be so bad for their career to be associated with Hank Green?. Are they like nervous because they know it's gonna be so bad for their career to be associated with Hank Green?

I think they're nervous because they know that I can be fairly opinionated about design. Yeah, I don't know actually, I might like one more than I like three, but I like all five of them, so that's good news. Yeah, one is a little bit too much contrast for my taste. I really like that we are just talking about the covers

and no one can see. Well, they'll eventually see one of the five probably. Actually, they'll probably see some different version of one of the five with some kind of pull quote on it. Well, Hank, I guess we've both now managed to insert some promo here in the first couple minutes of Dear Hank and John, but I'd just like to point out that you once again failed to say the name

of your freaking book, which is an absolutely remarkable thing available for pre-order now. It comes out September 25th, and it's great. Thank you, John, for being my promo fairy. I mean, I will be your hype man all day long. Let's answer some questions from our listeners. All right. This first question comes from Jade, who asks, dear Hank and John, I am in high school and we just had to like a get to know me assignment. The questions were mostly things like, uh, when's your birthday and what's your future career plans?

But one of the questions stumped me. The question was, what's your favorite thing on the internet right now? I don't really understand what this means. And so I was wondering, what is your favorite thing on the internet right now? There are many shades, Jade. That's a great question. Well, first, I gotta say that like my, I feel like it's easier to answer the, it's what's my favorite thing on the internet right now, than it is to answer what's my future career?

I don't know. What my future, I'm 37 years old, and I don't know what my future career plans are. I think I'm just gonna be a professional reviewer of Dr. Pepper from here on out. I think that's it. Yeah, I mean, this is a good plans, John. Yeah, I mean, I agree. I think what your favorite thing on the internet right now is a little bit of a difficult question right now on the internet, but I do still have lots of favorite things on the internet.

You know, Hank knows what my favorite thing on the internet is right now because it's affecting his algorithmically generated YouTube view suggestions because we have the same YouTube blogger. My favorite thing on the internet right now is, can I tell the people what it is? Can I make a guess? Yes. Is it some guy playing football manager?

It's not just some guy playing football manager. It's Dr. Benji FM playing football manager? It's not just some guy playing football manager. It's Dr. Benji FM playing football manager. And he plays as like a seventh tier team called, you know the river in London, Tames, the Thames River. He, Rosiana literally just booed from the next door. He plays as like a seventh-tier soccer team and he's trying to like make his way up through the league and there are all these characters involved,

like there's a guy who reports on the progress of the team called Ben Sports News and they're all played by like thinly disguised versions of him and and when he's talking on the phone, he's using his television remote control, and he's just hilarious, and also I am deeply involved in the life of this imaginary seventh-tier football team. So that's my favorite thing on the internet right now. Hank, what's your favorite thing? I mean, I'm looking at my YouTube view history right now,

and it would appear that my favorite thing on the internet right now is either animatics of podcasts, including my own podcast. Thank you to Vegetos for making those. And or Ants Canada, which is an Ant YouTube channel where the guy has ants and he takes care of his ants. It's real good. Is it like the marble Olympics?

Like, do you get involved in the lives of the ants as characters? Yeah, no, there are a involved in the lives of the Ancest characters? Yeah, no, there are a bunch of different nations of Ancest because he's got different tanks. And they have a whole sort of like area. And, you know, it could be difficult to life if an ant keeper. And this guy is just really into it

and has his own ant farm business. And he also separately has a very popular like parody music video career. It's fun under the channel Mikey Bustos. So if you've ever heard of Mikey Bustos, he also has an aunt channel. And his aunt channel is one of my, just like, oh yes, this is exactly what YouTube is for.

That's great. I love that there are aunt channel creators out there. I love the Marvel Olympics. I love Dr. Ben G. FM. I'm just glad that there are still so many weird there. I love the Marvel Olympics. I love Dr. Ben G. FM. I'm just glad that there are still so many weird and beautiful things in the world. Speaking of which, before we get off this topic, there's just one other YouTube creator I wanna highlight.

She just did a million subscribers. Do you watch Elle Mills, Hank? Oh yeah, of course I watch Elle Mills. She's like, she's completely taken video blogging to a whole new level that I didn't know was possible. She really has. She just did a million subscribers and she threw herself a full-blown high school graduation in which she graduated from irrelevancy. At the end of the video, she gives the valedictorian speech as the only graduate from a relevancy in the audience.

And the audience is like her sister, her brother, one of her friends and her mom. Well, good. Oh my god, it's magical. It's just hilarious. Oh my god. Going through my YouTube watch history is just a whole, it's an adventure of the last weeks of my life. The place as my brain was, and then occasionally

where your brain was, and me being like, why on earth were you watching this, John? It's a fun thing that you and I can spend some time looking at what each other watches. And it also keeps me from watching things that are exceptionally embarrassing because I know that you will notice. That's right, that's right.

So Hank only occasionally watches recaps of Vanderpump rules. Our next question comes from Annie, who writes, I'm just kidding, that's not anything to be embarrassed about. All right, this next question comes from Annie, who writes, dear John and Hank, my mom's insisting that I attend the senior prom. However, I have no one to go with

since all of my friends are already in well-established relationships with the significant other. Should I pretend to go to the prom and then sneak off and spend the night alone in a nearby target? Or should I come up with a devious plot to break up one of the pairs of my friends? Oh, Annie, I mean, that is a false dichotomy

because for one thing, you can do both. You can definitely do both. You can definitely both break up your friends and go spend a way too much time inside of a target. I don't know that you wanna do either of those things. I definitely had some of my most fun times as a person who was not going to prom with another person. Oh, you went to prom like by yourself? Yeah, well, I didn't go by myself.

I went with other people, but I was not part of a couple. Well, I went to prom. My high school did not have a prom, but I did go to two different high school proms with dates, but both those dates were friends, not girlfriends, although one of them I did kiss, and she went on to become like a professional trumpet player, but that is a different story. Was that like making a better kiss?

I'm just telling you what happened. But like, so anyway, is there like a professionalism to the to the kiss of a trumpet player that you do not get with just a normal kiss? Because a trumpet player has developed a whole new set with just a normal kiss because the trumpet player has developed a whole new set of muscles and skills with regard to lip fitness. I think it was their first French kiss is my answer to your question. So I know is it it's not gonna it wasn't I mean was it gonna like win an Academy Award? No, but also, I mean, was I in a position to criticize? Also, no.

So it was just a couple of kids doing their best. That's all I'm gonna say about it. We're gonna move on. I'm sorry, even brought it up. It's not relevant to your situation, Annie. Yeah, I mean, either you just go without a date, which I don't think is that big of a deal, or you purchase a date from the internet.

Oh. You know when my most embarrassing person asking to the prom was, John? Tell me about it. I don't know. Now I don't wanna tell you, because it's pretty embarrassing. Now that I'm thinking about the story.

I mean, if there's no way it's gonna make the top two embarrassing Hank Green stories. There is no way. It's unlikely. It's not gonna be as embarrassing as you're faking a British accent for nine months, and it's not gonna be as embarrassing as the thing that's more embarrassing

than that that we never talk about. So my friends and I went to Denny's a lot as youth when we were in high school, and there was a Denny's waitress who was, I don't know, maybe, maybe three or four years older than us. And I, oh God, it's already very embarrassing. So I thought that she was very attractive. And she was always there. Oh, no.

And she would serve us every time. And it got to be to the point where it felt a little bit like this person was in addition to being our waitress a friend. And so I asked her to prom and she said, no. She didn't think about it. She looked me in the eyes and she was like, oh, like the last thing I'm going to do is go to a high school prom with a high school guy when I'm a 21 year old woman. That is just never gonna happen.

And so I don't know why I didn't expect that, but the amazing thing was that what I expected was kind of all of my friends to chuckle and unison, but what had happened instead was they all looked at me like I was bad and had made a huge mistake, which was accurate. They were correct. Totally accurate.

Yeah, definitely. Oh, that is cringy. I mean, it doesn't make the top five most embarrassing hand green stories to me, but it's definitely a cringer. Yeah. The other thing, Annie, is that you have a few months to figure this out, right? So, you know how sometimes on the internet,

you'll see this person asked Ryan Gosling to prom, and then Ryan Gosling had a movie to promote. So he agreed to go as part of his movie promotion. Like the agents probably tricked him into it or he was on a junket and he was in New York anyway or whatever. Just do that. Just start asking Ryan Gosling to prom. It's never too soon.

Is there just a list of like potential celebrity prom dates somewhere. Has Ryan Gosling gone to prom with a rando? Um, it looks like not. It looks like no. The good news is though, John, that there are photographs from Ryan Gosling's prom is a lie. Holy is a lie. I think that's a lie. This guy just looks like Ryan Gosling's prom is a lie. Holy is a lie.

I think that's a lie. This guy just looks like Ryan Gosling. Annie, if I've learned anything from watching a lot of 80s high school movies, it's that this is going to work itself out. It's only February. You have so many twists and roundabouts between now and prom that everything is going to work out.

Right, isn't prom in April usually? I could not have stored that information in my brain that long. It's just never going to have happened. It's all going to work out, Annie. Don't be, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. And I will say, Annie, you are used to hanging out with couples as being friends with couples and you will just do that again, but in nicer clothes.

With punch, it'll be great. It'll be fine. This next question comes from Haneen who asks, dear Hank and John, the other day I was sitting in biology lecture when my professor decided to stop walking and stand by a student about three rows ahead of me. My professor typically walks as she lectures. The student began eating an orange, and that's all well and good. I've seen people eat weirder items during a lecture, but the problem was she was eating it as if it were an apple with the peel. Is this a thing?

Maybe it's a new health fad. Are there areas of the world where people don't peel their oranges before eating them? Is she from an alternate universe? Please help me. My brain doesn't like this rage against the honey. That's a great name specific sign off. I did a little bit of research about this hangout. Oh, is it like a genetically modified human thing where now people can eat the orange peel because they like got some cow jeans or something? can eat the orange peel because they like got some cow jeans or something? No, I suspect that this is more of a conehead's thing where you can spot the aliens because they think that they're performing normal human actions, but occasionally they'll do something extremely weird. So I think what's happening, Haneen, is that you are in an alien contact situation in

which you are dealing with an intelligence that is not from the planet earth. Alternately, there is another possibility, which is that the person who is eating this orange with the peel on it ended up on the same weird websites that I ended up on that insist that eating orange peel can save you from all manner of health problems, including clearing your lungs when you have an extremely bad cold. Okay. I'm sure we've all been there, Hank.

You know how it is, a little bit of vitamin C, one whole peel of an orange, and you feel better almost instantaneously. And there are a number of other health benefits that are touted with orange peels. However, the United States agriculture part of the government, I don't know what they're called. The USDA. Honey, I didn't Google this extensively. The USDA had a couple of concerns. One, you don't really know what's on that orange peel. A lot of times it's chemicals and maybe chemicals

that you don't want to consume. And two to eating orange peel can be very difficult to digest Which can cause diarrhea? Sure. You might have some you might have some orange peel diarrhea Basically, I don't recommend eating orange peels. John There has to be a way to tell the difference between a health nut who is confused about the benefits of orange peels and a space alien who doesn't understand how fruits work. And I have several suggestions.

One, I have heard that this has not been confirmed to me that if you hold up a fork horizontally in front of one of your eyes and look through it, you will be able to tell if it's an alien that is having a hologram projected around it or if it's human being. So just before class starts, walk around with a fork and then stare directly into this person's face, holding a fork up over your eye and see what you see. That's a good idea. And that won't, and then we'll get a question

from that person who's like, dear John and ink. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, every day before class. And then secondarily just make friends. Because ultimately like either you're gonna make friends with somebody and you're gonna discover that they're not an alien, or you will be friends with an alien. Right, both are great outcomes.

Both are great outcomes. All right Hank, this next question comes from Jenna. And it's one that I feel that I need answered because now I have a new apocalyptic worry. She writes, dear John and Hank, I was wondering what would happen if all the plants just cease to exist. Would we then die too?

Because there would be no oxygen? Two ataras and Kiwis, Jenna. Now, Hank, before you get into the answer, I just wanna point out to Jenna because I believe that she is probably from New Zealand based on her sign off, that the plural of two atara is two atara. So it's tuatara

and kiwis. I apologize for being pedantic. Now Hank, would we all die if all of the plants just cease to exist? We definitely would die if all of the plants cease to exist, but we would die of starvation way before we died of suffocation. So there's a lot of oxygen in the atmosphere, and while it is always being replenished, like the stuff that we are consuming is being regenerated, it would take, if it were just humans on the order of like a thousand years to consume all the oxygen.

So if you were able to like suck it out and store it and then put it in tanks, we could live a pretty long time. Of course, most of the oxygen on Earth is consumed by things that aren't humans, including non-biological processes, like oxidation, general, like fires and stuff. But, like not having plants would be a bigger problem for the food web than, like all the cows would die

within a couple weeks, and then all the people would die within a few weeks of that. So they just wouldn't, like all food is based on plants. Right. So if the plants all died, we would have a mad rush to try and make more plants before we started worrying about oxygen.

So have a conversation with a nearby plant and say thank you very much, please don't die. Specifically if that plant bears some kind of food. So grass, not very much, please don't die, specifically if that plant bears some kind of food. So grass, not so much, that can all die, but if you got a weird orange tree where the super nutritious orange peel you want to stick around for that one. And say thank you very much for the weird,

creepy alien sustenance. All right, I mean, that makes me feel a little bit better because I feel like probably all the plants won't die all at once. It seems very unlikely. Many of them are quite hearty. This next question comes from Will, who asks, dear Hank and John, sometimes people say, my friends call me insert nickname here.

So I was wondering, is this the same thing as saying, you can call me or should call me this name? Like, because you have said that am I your friend now or do I just store that information in case we become friends later. Cordially wishing you will. I don't know. I mean, I've been in this situation before where somebody will say, my name is Frank, but

people call me Johnny. And then I'll think, well. Well, now I'm in a pickle. Why did you even tell me about Frank? Why is Frank even if that like, I don't want to know like what your parents named you. I want to know what to call you. Frank will what Johnny, whatever it was. Also, what percentage of people call you Johnny? Is it everybody? Yeah. Is it some people? Is it a name that you're like, you had to use for a while because of a witness protection thing, but now you're going back to your old name

and you're trying to make a bridge? I need more information. I need to say, here's what you should say. If you're, you should say, my name is Frank, but you can call me Johnny. It's still weird. I don't know, that's Johnny. It's still weird. I don't know.

That's weird. That's extra weird because it's like, wait, is that just so you'll remember me? Or are you trying to give me false information so that maybe in the future, I won't be... Oh, so when the private investigator says, comes to your house and says, hey, do you know a guy named Frank, you'll think, no, I don't know any Frank. I do know a guy named Johnny. And then he'll be completely incognito. He's a spy, is what they're you saying? It's possible.

I don't think there are any spies named Frank or Johnny. You know, I have, there's a weird thing when you are maybe moving to a new place, are you going off to school or you're starting a new job, you could kind of change your name. Like, you could just be, and I've had friends who have done this, and it feels off to school or you're starting a new job? You could kind of change your name. Like, you could just be, and I've had friends who have done this and it feels kind of inauthentic to the person. I've talked to them about it.

I was like, oh, I didn't realize that your other friends called you Timothy instead of Tim. And then you introduced to yourself to all of us as Tim. And he's like, yeah, and it's always felt a little weird. And it's like, well, to us, it feels very normal. Like, you can totally do that. Right. It's a facet, like, you don't, I'm not saying you should.

I'm just saying, like, that's a weird thing that we're capable of as humans. When we start a new thing, you could just be like, I've decided that my name's Cal. Right. Yeah, no, you can be, I, slightly off topic, but I always liked the name Cal. It's nice. Yeah, that reminds me a little bit of Hank, when I was in sixth grade, I went to a different middle school because I had just been bullied so much at my first middle school. And I decided I was going to give myself a nickname

going into my new school that everyone would call me, but I also felt that I needed a nickname that seemed realistic given my level of nerdiness. So I attempted to get people in this new school to call me shrimp. This I mean, it's amazing how similar a story I have to this. Do you really? I do. Wow. I do. And of course it completely failed, but also when you go to a new school and you say,

my name's John, but people call me Shrimp, it doesn't work on every level. Like it fails at doing all of the things that you want to do. What is your story? My story, so I went off to summer camp one year, and everybody at summer camp started calling me bug, which is a very, like a shrimp is basically a bug that lives in the wall. Yeah, it's an ocean bug. And it's an ocean bug. And also in lakes, though, I'll be, there are freshwater shrimp.

Oh my God, it's really the like pet ants episode of Dear Hank and John. So I just and I came back from summer camp and then I was going back to school and I was like, I would like everyone to keep calling me bug because I thought it was fun and it was cute and I liked it and like it felt very supportive and like a normal thing to be called bug. And so I started to like to sort of seed the water with bug and tell people that like they could call me. And then immediately it became like a term of abuse. Like they people called me bug as a thing to call me

to be mean to me. And I could tell the difference and it was no longer a nickname, it was like a bully name. And it's amazing, it was like the same name, but the context it was in and the way that people were using it, it was like, oh great, now I have created a great way for people to make me feel bad about myself with this word instead of feel good about myself. It was very interesting how that one word could mean different things to me in different contexts and I immediately regretted it and it was bad.

So much of life is contextual and so much of language is contextual, but I just wanna be absolutely clear about something which is that no one agreed to call me shrimp ever. Like I couldn't even get out to get you. Maybe that's better. Yeah, maybe. But what you gotta say, if you want somebody

to call you a nickname, you gotta, because we have a guy in our office named Tuna, his name is not actually Tuna, but he was like, hello, I'm Tuna. Right. You don't say hello, I'm Joe, and people call me Tuna, you just say I am Tuna. Right, my name is Tuna, what's your name?

Yeah. Speaking of which, Hank, we've have another question. This one comes from Sam and Michael, who asked, dear John and Hank, my girlfriend and I live in a downtown apartment and our Wi-Fi name is Nerdfighter related and so is our password. We recently discovered that there's a person who's been using our Wi-Fi.

What do we do? Should we assume that because they must be a fellow Nerdfighter that they're a good person and we shouldn't kick them off? No. No. Nope. It's the problem.

I've identified several problems. Maybe we should go around our building looking for people with Android phones who watch Vlogbrothers hoping to make a new friend? No again. Doobies Advice is appreciated not managing an internet cafe, Sam and Michael. Oh guys, first of all, I think that may be the first time we've ever gotten a question from two people and two years of doing this podcast. I think we've gotten a couple before,

but you're right, it's a rarity. But secondly, you know, like, don't steal other people's Wi-Fi. And also, this was not, this was not like, I happened into it. It's not like, oh, this person's Wi-Fi is Nerdfighter 2007. And I'll click on that and, oh, I'm just in.

No, they had to guess your password. They had to go in and brute force hack your Wi-Fi. Right, there are two situations here. One is that the name of your Wi-Fi is the password is DFTBA and then the password is DFTBA. The other situation, Sam and Michael, is bad. Just like... It's bad. Yeah, and that, I mean, it's also possible that they aren't even nerd fighters and they just hacked your Wi-Fi.

Yeah. I think that you need to be taking this slightly more seriously than you're taking it. At least based on what I can find out about Hank just from knowing what YouTube videos he watches, I'm not sure that you want somebody who's really good at hacking Wi-Fi passwords with access to your Wi-Fi. So if I were you, I would change the Wi-Fi password and the network name. And what we're gonna do for you now, Sam and Michael,

is we are going to give you both a new network name and a new password so that if this person really is a nerd fighter, then if they re-access it, maybe then you can talk to them. Hank, what is the name of Sam and Michael's new wireless network? An absolutely remarkable thing. That's a great, that's great, Hank. And the password is available for pre-order now. Nine, two, five.

Two zero, one eight. Two zero, one eight, that's a great finish, Hank. I don't know why that took me so long. That is the password. And if they can brute force hack that password, then you need to panic. You need to move. Just get out. Well, or are you changing the password to come meet me in apartment? No, that sounds that sounds bad. That's very bad. Come meet me in apartment 212. This next question, we've got another question that we're going to do before our sponsors

and maybe some some updates and corrections. This comes from Sarah, who asks, Dear Hank and John, how does Legolas never run out of arrows? Does he swiftly retrieve them from those he has pierced? Do they spontaneously regenerate in his elvish knapsack? I can't seem to wrap my head around it. I also can't seem to wrap my head around the phrase, I can't wrap my head around it. Uh, or I also can't seem to wrap my head around the phrase, I can't wrap my head around something.

Any who, just wondering, try me tops Sarah. Try Sarah tops. Uh, wow. I have to be able to get that one. That's, there it is. Excellent. Um, first of all, John, let's hit the wrap your head around something because never do I even want to have the visualization

of my head becoming made of play dough and it sort of wrapping around and a bacteria wrapping around information and then digesting it inside with my cytoplasm. I don't like it. Yeah, I was thinking of it as a white blood cell eating a virus, but you're right, it's better to think of it as a bacterial cell eating flesh. Yeah, that's way better. It's much better.

Everybody likes the word flesh, don't I know? It does seem like it does. No one turns off the podcast as soon as we say the word flesh. That what you saying it sounds gross. It does seem like the phrase wrap my head around something is a phrase that was created by a non-human sentient species. They're like, yeah, that's how it works. Correct. Right, right, right. Like that's how it works. Correct.

Right, right, right. That's how I get artificial intelligence. I get off my head around that. Correct, fellow human. Right, and then they eat the orange with the peel still on it. It does seem like that's how artificial intelligence learns by like surrounding a fact rather than learning it. But to your larger question, Sarah, I have no f-ing idea. I mean, now I want to watch, but there's definitely moments where I feel like, I mean, in

the books, there's definitely moments where LaGolasse runs out of arrows and he talks about needing to get more arrows. Or like, he goes and collects them. I think during the battle of Helm's Deep, he goes and he's like, I have to go find more arrows. But in the movie, he definitely starts to use knives. He starts to cut people. Oh, so he runs out, he does run out of arrows. Maybe when he does run out of arrows.

Yeah, so maybe the knives come out when he's run out of arrows. I don't know, maybe he's just like, he's still got arrows, but he's also knifing and why not. Maybe he's just got too close to stab people with arrows, which he occasionally does, where he's like, and I was gonna shoot you, but you're too close. So pow, ttup, ttup, ttup, ttup. All right.

So there we've got our answer. So today's podcast is brought to you by Lego losses knives. Lego losses knives, backup. Back up. This podcast is also brought to you by the kiss of a trumpeter. Just doing their best. And today's podcast is also brought to you by the kiss of a trumpeter. Just doing their best. And today's podcast is also brought to you by the US agriculture part of the government,

the US agriculture part of the government serving Americans and their agricultural needs in 1789. And this podcast brought to you by Freshwater Shrimp. Freshwater Shrimp. They're around, man. don't just rate them on. They pair very well with Tuatara. We also have a real sponsor today, Hank. Oh, do we?

It's the Anthropocene Review to make people know on iTunes. We've got a number of new things happening right now. We've got the book, we've got the Anthropocene Review, we've also Mental Floss just started up scatterbrained on the Mental Floss channel. Yeah, I'm really excited about that. It's hosted by six or seven different people, a really wonderful group of people.

I don't just say that because I am part of them. And every episode we tackle a different big topic in lots of different ways. So the first episode's about the Winter Olympics, and we take a lot of different approaches to learning about the Winter Olympics. It's a lot of fun. You can find out more at youtube.com slash mental floss video. We also have Eons, which is our project with PBS Digital that we've loved working on.

If you're interested in history before history, the history of the ancient world and what life looked like before we were around, check out Ion's. It's a really wonderful Seth who works on that in our office, just does an amazing job with it. Yeah, I love it. I'm also co-hosting that one with a couple of my friends and it's really, every time we do it, I am just fascinated and learned so much whenever I get a script. And the most recent episode is called Untangling the Devil's Corkscrew, which is a hundred year mystery of these very peculiar paleontological discoveries that no one understood until finally someone figured it out. I'm not going to tell you the answer, John.

Oh, wow. You're going to have to watch the video at youtube.com slash eon. Wow, you also can't find out how many stars I gave Canada geese unless you go listen to the Anthropocene review. I know, but I won't tell. All right, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, we do have some corrections to get to as well as an update.

I need to give one of these updates, Hank. It's about Benjamin Harrison. Okay. Benjamin Harrison, the president, he was the president of the United States. And I now I understand him to have obviously an inarguably been America's most important president. And I want to apologize to all the Benjamin Harrison fans out there, especially those who know me in real life because I live very close to the Benjamin Harrison

home and Benjamin Harrison's last and final resting place and I want to apologize to everyone on earth and all the all the Benjamin Harrison fans out there a bit of big mistake Not correcting Hank when he said that Benjamin Harrison was the least famous US president. Also, Liam passed along to us a sporchle quiz on US presidents that gives us scientific evidence that Benjamin Harrison is not the least well-known of the US presidents. The least well-known of the US presidents is wait for it. I do not believe it. I do not believe it. I do not believe it.

Benjamin Harrison is 30th. He's not even in the bottom 10. Yeah. The least famous. It's Rutherford B. Hayes. Rutherford B. Hayes, who by the way, I also have a connection to he and I both attended Kenyan College, although I believe he did not graduate. Well, he had other stuff to do.

Yeah, it was the 1870s. Yeah. Well, I guess it was before that because he was president of the 1870s. Unless he went right out of school. Very unlikely. And he's got elected. Very unlikely. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I've heard of Rutherford B. Hayes. It's just like Rutherford B. Hayes and Millard Philmore. Those names like stick in the brain because they're weird. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing that'll put this list up on the Patreon so everybody can see and you can see that whether you're a patron or not, you can see who the, who the, the president's that stick in people's brains most are and that Benjamin Harrison is indeed doing just fine. Really, an incredibly successful president.

So again, I am sorry to all of the Benjamin Harrison fanatics out there. I was wrong and I this is my third apology. I think it's going to be the last one, but if necessary, I will apologize again. Just keep hitting us with more reasons by Benjamin Harris and should be the official president of Dear Hank and John. We also got a letter from Miriam who gives us an extremely detailed breakdown of all of the different kinds of Girl Scout cookies and how it works. And boy, I tell you what, we not only are like thin mints different, but some of them are just straight up,

like not the same. So yeah, it is a whole world of variety out there for people who move from one part of the country to the next and say, where's my favorite Girl Scout cookie, you just don't have it. This person actually looks, this person actually works at a little brown baker, counsel, but there is a counsel right next to us that is an ABC bakery. So there you have it.

And lastly, I just want to apologize to all of the people out there who were deeply offended by my saying that Joey was not an important member of the friends cast. I am sorry that you did not get my joke. Hank, you will recall that just a few short weeks ago, AFC Wimbledon was languishing in the relegation zone, and things were looking very dark indeed. But that Hank, that was before the arrival of the great Joe Piggitt who joined AFC Wimbledon here in the January transfer window from fifth tier Maid Stone United. I call him the Maid Stoneian Messy. He scored in his

debut against Blackpool on January 20th, he scored a goal with his second touch of the ball as an AFC Wimbledon player. He scored in his very first game, and then AFC Wimbledon went to Bradford City away who are currently fifth in the League One table, and we didn't just win Hank, we scored four goals. Whoa, but Piggitt didn't score any of those goals, right? No, not only did Piggitt not score any of those goals. He didn't even play until the 75th minute, but the important

thing is that since Joe Piggitt has arrived, we've scored six goals and given up none, and we, Wow. Hank, AFC Wimbledon has not given up a goal in 2018 in a league one game. We did give up three goals to Tottenham in the FA Cup, but that's Tottenham. Sure, sure. We have not given up a single goal in all of 2018. In fact, we already know now that we will not have given up a goal in all of January. It's amazing. So shout out to the defenders.

Shout out to George Long, our goalkeeper who's on loan who's doing a fantastic job Suddenly Wimbledon find themselves. I mean Hank, there's hardly any oxygen up here because we are in 16th place So high up the table. It's there's less oxygen. It was a little bit. I got there. I know it wasn't my best work We're in six you're basically on Mars. We're basically on Mars there's less oxygen. It was a little bit. I got there eventually. I know. It wasn't my best work. You're basically on Mars. We're basically on Mars. We're in 16th place and not that it matters. But if you have a look at the current relegation zone, Hank, you will see that the franchise

currently applying its trade in Milton Keynes is in 21st. All right. The dons are going up and the franchise is going down. What's the news from Mars? The news from Mars, John. The curiously, you're ever has spent an awful long time, five years now on Mars driving around. And during that time, it's been driving

from the base of this lake bed up an incline onto the side of Mount Sharp, this mountain. And now that it has gotten some height, it actually has turned around where it's turned its camera around, and it's taken a picture of where it came from, this ancient lake bed where there was once water that we now, thanks to the Curiosity Rover know,

without a doubt there was long-standing liquid water there, and it's beautiful, and I love it. Every time the Curiosity team decides to take a really high res large photo, especially panoramic photos. So we're gonna put both a video that gives you sort of a panoramic view of what Curiosity Rover is seeing,

but also some of the still images on the Patreon. Well, everybody can see whether or not you're a patron. And I mean, whenever I get a picture like this of the surface of Mars, it makes it so clear that this alien world is out there in a way that I don't imagine when I'm just thinking about the science of Mars, but especially now that we have such high-quality cameras on Mars on the Curiosity Rover, it's able to take basically the exact same quality images if we had a professional photographer there. And it's just beautiful. It is a nice looking lake bed from the Vera Ruben Ridge as as Curiosity. Basically, you know, takes a little bit of time to go to the, what do they call it? The overlook

when you're driving along the highway. So it's stopped that it's overlooked. Take a nice, pretty picture. And also you can see in this video where the Curiosity Rover landed and also track some of its five-year journey across the surface of Mars. That's pretty cool. I'm looking at the picture now.

It's really beautiful. So we'll put that up on the Patreon where you can also listen to the podcast we're about to record called This Week in Ryan's. It's our incredibly stupid podcast that we make for people who subscribe to the Patreon. Thank you to everybody who does that and helps us out with the shows that we make at Complexly Crash Course SciShow and the rest of them. And thanks to all of you for listening. Hank, what did we learn today?

Oh, my goodness, John. What didn't we learn? Uh, John, today we learned a number of embarrassing stories about you and I going to prom. That's true. We also learned that Hank likes to watch Canadian ant colony YouTube. And we learned that John Green probably wouldn't mind

if you just started calling him shrimp. And lastly, we learned that Sam and Michael's new Wi-Fi password is an absolutely remarkable thing, 925, 2018. Good. See, it's a guerrilla marketing campaign, John. It's really, really. it's only people's passwords. You literally can't and should not share them. It's so underground, you can't share it.

Thank you for potting with me, Hank. Thanks to everybody for listening. This podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins, who had a lot of work to do with today's podcast. We recorded it and it was an hour long and it's shorter than that now, so we're sorry, Nick. It's produced by Rosiana Halsey-Rohassen, shared at Gibson, our head of community

and communications is Victoria Bonjorno. The music that you're hearing now and the beginning of the podcast is from the great Gunnarola and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome. to be awesome.