Dear Hank & John - 146: Skate with Snakes

Episode Date: July 2, 2018

How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more! Email us: [e-mail] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to audible.com/dearhank or audible.com/dearjohn, or text “dearhank" or "dearjohn” to 500-500 to get started today.

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and Jon. What was I for the thing that you're John and Hank? It's a comedy podcast where two brothers will answer your questions, give you a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer,

a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer it a go anyway. Three, two, one, just to candy. No, we did just find out that justice Kennedy is retiring, which is a bummer. But the important news of the week, I mean, a bummer. I don't even know how to talk about the Supreme Court right now, Hank.

So I'm not going to try. Instead, I'm going to talk about the amazing drama of the World Cup. This weird timeline in which we find ourselves in the multiverse Hank, where so many things are not great, but sports just continues to deliver. A Chicago Cubs World Series, AFC Wimbledon promoted to the third tier of English football, Liverpool O so close to a Champions League victory, and then this year's World Cup is the best World Cup of my lifetime by a wide margin, despite the fact that my home nation

is not even involved in it. The drama is incredible. I almost barfed a couple hours ago watching the World Cup. That's how stressful and exciting it was. I gotta tell you, John, on my Twitter feed most of the news today has been about like a slack being down.

I haven't caught a great deal of World Cup news except something to do with Germany not being in the World Cup anymore. That's right, Germany failed to qualify for the knockout rounds. Shared in who helps produce this podcast, huge fan of the German national team, absolutely devastated.

On the other hand, my loyalty is split because the pride of North America, Mexico, qualified only because Germany didn't. So I have to confess that I was excited about that. Excited for Rosiana and also excited for North America. But yeah, 31 teams are going to lose the World Cup this year, Hank. And they all did better than America. That's right.

And they can go home feeling good about that. So is Mexico in the knock, did they qualify for the knockout rounds? Or did they, are they just moving up? Nope, they're in the round of 16. In fact, by the time this pod gets uploaded, they may be out of the world cup. It happens so fast.

They have to play a game to see if they get to the next round. Well, now it's the knockout round, so cold, because every game is winner go home. Oh, I thought the knockout round, so called, because every game is winner-go-home. Oh, I thought the knockout round was like, sometimes in some sports you have a time when it's like the people who didn't do well get to play each other to stay in the tournament. No, no, we don't have that.

No, it's not a thing. Okay, so it's the knockout round. There is a third-place game if you make it to the semi-finals. You get to play to figure out who finishes third. It's the bummerest game in the world cup every year. But anyway, Hank, let's not talk about football or the Supreme Court. Let's answer some questions from our listeners. John, if there was any sport, before we get to questions from our listeners, if there was any sport that you could have be as big a deal as soccer that isn't currently as big a deal as soccer.

What sport would that be? Can I pick soccer in the United States? No, no, I don't think that's not in the spirit of the question, John. Let me come up with an answer. I think it would be amazing if the entire world were captivated every four years by a team handball global tournament. Oh. Ha ha ha ha.

Handball of all the things. I just think it would be amazing. Or possibly table tennis. Yeah, table tennis is just really good. What about that game? If there was a Wimbledon of table tennis. What about that game where they play in somewhere where it's like volleyball,

but you have to use your feet. You can't use your hands. Yeah, foot volleyball. I think that's a technical term for it. That's good. That would be really good. I played the only game that I accept for hockey that I ever played with any amount of gusto

was Ultimate Frisbee. Me too. I feel like why not? Why not the World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee. Indeed. I think that professional Ultimate Frisbee is incredible. Talk about drama. I mean, it's a heck of a good sport. The way I played it in high school, not quite as beautiful, but still. There are so many great sports out there that don't get the attention that they deserve. What about robotics? Robotics. Robotics teams. Robotics. I'd love to see that in the Olympics. Is sports out there that don't get the attention that they deserve. What about robotics, you know, like those, those high school robotics T-zards.

I'd love to see that in the Olympics. Is there an Olympic, is there a sport hank in which either current you or some past version of you would have had a legitimate chance of making it to the Olympics? Ah, like video blogging maybe? I don't think so. I don't need to be I don't even know.

Maybe 2008, you could have made it to the Olympics in video blogging, maybe. Right, right, because there just wasn't a lot of competition. Right, the American bench was pretty weak. Bye. I don't know. I think. Yeah, sometimes I think like, am I good enough?

Because like, I have it. I could be, I could totally go to the World Cup for singing fast about science. Oh, that's very, yes, that's good. That's good. I'm definitely in the top. And just because there's, as we say, not a huge pool.

Right, it's important to be, my friend Amy Kross-Rosenth told me once, that more than being important to excel at something, it's important to excel at something extremely specific. And I find that to be really deeply true advice. That's so true. Let's answer some questions from our listeners. This one comes from Josh who writes,

Steer John and Hank, after getting the chance to live with my sister for a few years in our mid-20s, we've become very close. This is a great gift because we didn't have the best relationship growing up. This past year I got engaged and purchased a house which has led to less contact and communication with my sister. Most of our recent communications has become sharing YouTube videos with each other. While I should be happy that we have a good relationship and enjoy the same things, like

any older sibling, I'm more concerned about who should get credit for discovering those videos. Is the discoverer of new content, the person who views it first, or the person who shares it first. Whoever's wrong has to buy the other copy of an absolutely remarkable thing, which comes out September 25th and is available for pre-order now. Just meeing around Josh, PS, the wedding is on March 17th, just north of Boston, and you are both invited. Hank, I took the liberty of going to Josh's wedding website. He didn't give us that much information, but he did give us

enough information because Google is creepy for me to find that his wedding website where he's wearing a worthy exception, Mongols Crash Course T-shirt. Thank you for supporting us over at dftba.com Josh. But the relevant thing here, Hank, before we get to the question, is that on their website, there's a big button that says menu, and then it says our wedding, and then underneath that, it says details. And I went to details, of course, because I wanna know, like, you know,

where is the wedding, can I realistically go, et cetera? I click details, there is nothing. There's nothing under the details menu, Hank. And then there's no photos under the photos thing. And then they don't even have a registry up. Josh, for the love of God, get your registry on the internet, man. I wanted to buy you a gravy book. If you're gonna send your wedding information

to a famous author who might wanna buy you a crock pot or something, you gotta have that up there. I mean, you want me to bookmark the page and keep visiting every day until you update your registry, because I will, if necessary, Josh. Put some details on the details tab of your wedding website. How did this question, this fine question about asking who gets the credit for discovering a video, devolve into you criticizing someone's wedding website which clearly is not the most important website

on the internet. I mean, it's the most important website related to Josh's wedding on the internet. That's true, that's true. And it does make me feel a little bit like, I don't have a ton of faith that they're gonna put on the most sort of like well run, well clock work wedding.

To be fair, their wedding is not for 263 days. It is a while from now. That's true. It is a while from now. John, do you have any examples of like a YouTube video that you feel like you found before everyone? And you were like, this is gonna be big. And then it became big. Yes, the history of Japan video by Bill Words.

Ah, yes. I saw when it had fewer than 10,000 views and I watched it and I sent it to Sarah and Sarah was like, this is great. And when Sarah likes a YouTube video, I know it's gonna be real big. Hahaha. I once watched, I fairly recently watched a video

that I said, I tweeted and I said, this is gonna be huge and then it wasn't. Oh really? What's pretty regular for me actually. I tend to think that it's easier to go viral than it actually is, John. Yes, it is not that easy to go viral, especially now. The internet now contains, I don't know if you've noticed this, a lot of videos. Indeed.

Indeed. And to really go. Occasionally you see something and you're like, this is going to do it and then it actually does. And that always feels good when you tweet it early. And I think that there is some, there is some cred that you get for that. Some status you could sort of achieve when it's like, I was a, I don't know, should you though? Because you didn't make the video.

And also like it wasn't you that made it go viral. Right, but you know, there is something that feels good about being like among the first 1000 subscribers to a new YouTube channel, or the first 1000 people to see a video that ends up going huge, or listening to somebody's mix tape before they blow up or whatever. There is something fun about that.

That said, the person who gets credit for the video is the person who shares it. Not the person who sees it. Yeah, absolutely. You gotta do the share. Yeah, because otherwise you could just be lying. Like you and I, like, it guys show me you're like a screenshot of your YouTube history, you might be just editing

the HTML. I can't believe you. I don't have any reason to trust you, Josh. Also, on the 2018 internet, if it didn't get shared, it literally didn't happen. Yeah, yeah, shares or didn't happen. I can't trust anything anymore. So if I didn't see, if I didn't happen. I can't trust anything anymore. So if I didn't see, if I didn't see an email from Josh,

then I trust no one. Yeah, I mean, I don't even, I don't even, I, oh God, I think, how did we get, how did we get to this dark timeline? Sorry, what's the next question? This next question comes from Alex, John. It says, hey, Hank and John. That's what it says.

Starts up super casual. Not the casual. Hey, yeah, super cash, super cash. Alex says, I say like a lot. As do my friends. As do you guys. It's true, we do say like. But whenever I go home, my mom makes like a big deal of it.

Some doesn't say like, I just inserted a like because that's what I do. Sometimes stopping the conversation, whenever I say like, I never notice it until she points it out and now I really listen to what I say. Is it just a normal part of our language now? Do you notice yourself doing it all the time? Pumpkins and penguins, Alex. Your arms just harshing your buzz, man. Yeah, I mean, what does it say? Just harshing on your yums. It's not cool. Here's the thing about like, if you don't say like,

you either say said constantly, or you don't have those weird pauses in your speech, which I think makes your speech sound more weird, at least to me. Like, there's a reason we say like, and it's to create a pause, it's to create a moment for us to think but also to create a moment between whatever we just said and what we're like about to say. And then the other way you use like is when

you say like that like the person was like I'm so tired and then the other person was like I'm also tired post VidCon and then the other person was like, I'm also tired, post VidCon. And then a third person was like, well, I'm tired of trying to brave the onslaught of horrors that I see from the social internet and I'm disgusted and despondent with the state of discourse in the United States. And those people didn't maybe literally say those things. And that's why you say like is because you're not actually quoting someone, you're trying

to deliver the content of what they said or at least of what you heard. So I actually think that like plays a good role in our language. Yeah, I think definitely there are times that I listen to someone talk it. I think to myself, that's too many likes. Sure. But I use it as an um, I also um, and we're professional talkers on this podcast. If we are doing it,

semi-professional talkers, if we're doing it and people are okay with it, I think it's probably okay at this point. So you can tell your mom that instead of saying like you were not gonna say, Shirk all the time and she's gonna have to deal with that. And you'll be Shirk. Mom, I am just gonna say Shirk all the time now.

Right, nobody wants to stay here. And then she was Shirk. I can't believe Germany didn't qualify for the knockout round. Well, if you can't tell right now. I am very sleepy. Yeah, I did. I apologize for a little bit of slurriness in my vocal patterns. And if you could see me, you would be like,

that guy needs some rest. And you'd be right. Yeah, all right. Our next question comes right. Tomomi who asks, dear John and Hank, after so many times that I've had deadlines for papers at 11.59 pm, I've started to wonder, how did people live without being able to check the time so easily? How did people tell time before clocks?

When you wanted to meet someone, did you just wait around all day or hope you randomly bumped into them at some point? Also, it would be a cool challenge to try to go the whole day without checking the time in a place without much sunshine. It's time to get an absolutely remarkable thing to mow me. John, when I read this question, I thought to myself, here's the thought I had, how do you turn in a paper at 1159 PM? I also had that thought. I was like, are you like rushing across camp it and then I realized, oh, right, you're more.

Right, mailing it. Yes, emailing it. Or when we, when we turned in papers, when we went to school, we handed them to the professor on the day they were due, when the class happened. Absolutely, 100%. With our hands. We do it the beginning of class.

Occasionally things would be due at 11.59 p.m. I guess, but usually only when I was turning them in late. Right. I never remember doing anything at 11. And also this is sort of like it's hilarious to me that a professor is like sitting there at their desk being like it's 11.58 to about to get a bunch of papers all at once.

Also, you've literally waited to the last minute. Literary. I feel like nothing inspires a lack of confidence in a professor quite like reading a paper that was turned in at 11.59 pm in 42 seconds. You know, like what that screams to me is, I was not prepared. This is not done is what it says to me.

It says this is as close as I could get. Yeah, no, absolutely. What did people do before? Well, that's an interesting question. So in a lot of places, there still isn't the same time obsession that we have in here in the United States. And we didn't have it in most of the world or any of the world really before the industrial revolution when people started clocking in to work when there started to be a lot of

workers who were no longer agricultural workers whose days weren't determined by sunshine, but instead by hours. So I think that was kind of the beginning of the change, but in lots of places in the world, you still see time dealt with differently. And in a lot of cases, that means you have an appointment for the afternoon, and you don't know exactly when in the afternoon, it will be. The obsession with minute by minute punctuality is definitely not a global phenomenon, but it is a big part of my personal life. I mean, it's definitely more efficient,

and I think that the Industrial Revolution had a strong focus on understanding efficiency as a thing, like even understanding that that is a thing, and also understanding that it's sort of a virtue. And sort of. I also, like, it sort of is remarkable to me to think that, like, I am not actually a slave to the clock, and I feel a little bit as if I am,

because of course, like, my meetings start usually on the hour and then go for a half an hour, or 50 minutes or something. And so, like, I am paying attention all the time to that thing. I'm meeting start usually on the hour and then go for a half an hour or 50 minutes or something. And so I am paying attention all the time to that thing. But when that thing goes away, you are still, you still have to do the work. And so what did how to people decide when they had to get up?

It wasn't like, oh, it's 6 AM, I have to get up. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, noise. It was like, the work's not gonna get done. And then I'm gonna have to get up, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, noise. It was like, the work's not gonna get done. And then I'm gonna be hungry. We're not get paid or not get, like my family will not be taken care of. Right, I do sometimes wish that I were not as clock focused as I am.

And even when I was a kid, I remember looking at the clock much less because I didn't own a watch and obviously there were no smartphones. And so, you know, lots of times I wouldn't know what time it is. These days I can usually, at least during the day, tell you what time it is within 10 minutes just by thinking without looking at a clock. And that's a little distressing to me. Because you're right that the Industrial Revolution put a great emphasis on efficiency and the value of efficiency, but also in a way it created this idea that our lives exist to run efficiently and to fill needs in marketplaces. And it's a little disturbing to me

because sometimes I wonder, does the market exist to make people better or do people only exist to make the markets more efficient? And then the last thing I will add, I'm not gonna add anything to that particular line of thinking, but there was a time when clocks had to be quite large and so you could have like a big one in your house but you certainly weren't gonna get one on your wrist.

And during that period of time, it was like, well, how are we gonna have everybody know sort of roughly what time it is? And if you're gonna try to solve that problem, one way to do it would be to build a very large clock that you could see from far away, and or ring a bell at every hour for the number of, like in like ring four bells if it's four o'clock,

which is why that happens. And it's sort of weird to think like, this is just a thing that happens, we don't need this, we continue to do it. But at one point it was a very important part of, like everybody would be on the same page basis. There's a clock tower by my house that rings on the hour and I still love that that and it reminds me of when I was in college

You were not considered late until the clock tower had banged for the last time So if it was a leaven and you got there before the 11th being you were on time I loved that and then one o'clock it it starts to get a lot more tight exactly I tried to schedule all my classes for 11 to save that six seconds because I'm so time-obsessed. This next question comes from Kim who writes, dear John and Hank, I live in Southern Florida and the trail near my house that I use for exercise borders of wetland preserve.

I've seen alligators along this stretch while driving and I've had to go around poisonous snakes on the sidewalk while biking. As a native Floridian, I understand that these animals would like to avoid me as much as I would like to avoid them, and how to keep a respectful distance. However, there is a definite level of vigilance that is absent when I exercise elsewhere. My question is, does this primal fear help me burn more calories or otherwise improve my workout? Reptiles and Rollerbweids, Kim.

If there's actually Rollerbweids involved, you really should have led with that because the idea of you jumping and skating around a bunch of coral snakes just really makes my day. I'm also seeing you do a jump off the back of an alligator, like it's a ramp, and I'm just liking this. I feel like Kim maybe you should have some kind of 90s animated 15 or 11 minute video TV series. That would be great. I'm here for that. I absolutely. I also think that in general, anything that motivates you to ride your bike

faster is good. And the fear of death probably is providing that. I think you definitely get an adrenaline boost from that, like I've run and barely missed a snake before, like with my footfall. Oh really? And for like five minutes after that, I was definitely running faster. Now I don't know that it increased my over all time because for like the five minutes after that,

I was running slower because I was tired. But I do think that getting an adrenaline boost, it can't hurt. So I would say get as close to those alligators as you can. I mean, actually, like encourage them to bite because that's gonna be a bigger adrenaline boost. Yeah, you gotta get a hungry alligator.

It's not just alligator. That's right. Or your family, you could be like, hey, y'all, if you could go in like lay down some fake snakes on my rollerblading route. I won't know the difference, because I won't know for sure if they're real or not. But make sure you don't think,

oh, these are probably fake, because they might not be, they might be real. You don't know which ones are fake and which ones are real. And you don't wanna skate over one of them and suddenly have it detached, stuck in your wheels, wiggling around, wobbling around, covered in scales and teeth. You've never wondered what Hank is like when he's really tired.

You just heard it. Oh man, I'm so tired. My body's very confused. I think a nap at 9 a.m. today. It was not long enough. I should have nap more. This next question comes from Brent. He asks, dear Hank Adjohn, I have a dilemma. I'm an artist in high school and I've

written recently open commissions where I draw people or their pets for money. Shortly after I posted that my commissions were open, I got messages from two different people who are interested, but these people are dating each other as it's their one year anniversary soon and they each want a drawing of them together to give to the other person. This is an issue. I can't exactly tell either of them because it's a gift, but I don't wanna have them both pay for the same thing

that feels like a scam. Helps. It's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. What? It's not the same thing. You gotta make two different artworks. Two art works.

Yes, art it twice. Yes, art it twice. Two arts. Yes. Make two arts. You got paid to do two arts, do two arts, and then it's super adorable because then they both get an art that's different, but it's from the same artist because that's so cute. Yeah.

You got to do it. I would propose though that you do two vastly different arts. So in one of the drawings, you have like the couple at Hogwarts and he's a griffin door and she's a Ravenven claw and they're riding their brooms playing Quidditch against each other and then in the other one it's like 1972 in Los Angeles and they're just learning about how to skate and yeah sure that those both sound great. I was I was still stuck in Florida and snakes and just covered in snakes, but that's way less good than learning how to skateboard in the 70s in Los Angeles.

That sounds awesome. I have a romantic gift for you. It's super romantic. It's a picture of the two of us covered in snakes. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, a picture of the two of us at the World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee. Which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by the World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee.

The World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee. Just you will not believe the Frisbee catch is involved. Ultimate Frisbee extravagant. This podcast is also brought to you by the word Shirk. That's what you say instead of like always from now on just to make your mom know that she's being a pill. And today's podcast is also brought to you by 11.59 pm, 11.59 pm, a non-ideal time to turn in your paper.

And finally, this podcast is brought to you by incomplete wedding websites. Come on, Josh! Get with it, Josh. Come on, there's only 259 days left to go. This next question, John, it comes from Elle, who asks, Dear Hank and John, the group of girls I've been friends with, best friends with, since eighth grade, is planning a trip to Europe next year as a graduation celebration.

My issue, I don't want to go. I love my friends and all, but I don't think I want to spend four weeks living in hostels with them, especially because it might be a stretch for me to afford due to my tendency to accept unpaid internships. Situation is further complicated by the fact that my ex-gurple will be along on the trip as well. On the other hand, part of me wants to go anyway, so I don't miss out on these possible, amazing memories. How do I tell my friends I don't want to to go anyway, so I don't miss out on these possible amazing memories. How do I tell my friends I don't wanna go? Or should I just go and bear the discomfort

out of a fear of missing out? In distress, L. You should go, L. Yeah, I think, I think you should go. Yeah, you're gonna have to go. I also feel that way. I think you should go, and I do think that there will be parts of it that are uncomfortable,

but I also think that in 10 years, you won't be able to go to Europe and live in hostels for a month, for a variety of reasons, one of which is that you will have developed a pretty serious aversion to body-lice, but you gotta go. I was thinking just, you know, the normal aches and pains of being 30. But also that, I think probably Elle might now have a pretty serious version to body life. The good news is it's manageable. That's true.

It's not fatal, Elle, so don't worry about it. Head to the hostels. No, I think it's such a great opportunity and you probably don't know how fun it will be until you go. It will be stressful and scary, but it will also be many other things and the memories that you will make on that trip, I think, are really valuable. So, obviously, Hank and I don't actually know what your situation is,

and it may be that you just can't bear to go and you really can't afford to go in which case Maybe don't but I think I think you should go. Yeah, all all things being equal not knowing a ton about this situation Yeah, I feel the same all way all right Hank Mm-hmm We got a lot of questions this week about US immigration policy and I want to ask one of them This one comes from Hulisa who writes dear John and Hank I live in McCallan,

a city at the Texas Mexico border with a Hispanic population that makes up the vast majority of the city. I'm very fortunate I'm going to college and will be applying to medical school next summer. I had a great cultural upbringing. My parents are both of Mexican descent, and I would not have chosen to have been raised

anywhere else in any way else. However, when I began hearing about the detention centers in cities at the border, I discovered much to my horror that one of the largest, if not the largest, detention center for undocumented immigrant children is in my city, actually down the street from where my sister goes to high school. It's very hard for me to watch the videos of the detention centers because the people in them are the same types of people that I see at home or college or at the grocery store. They're just people who were born half an hour away and for trying to live that half an hour

up north, they're having their families torn apart and their kids put in cells. Yet as much as I'm nauseated and deeply saddened by what is happening in my city, I feel a sense of defeat as if there's nothing aside from volunteering and running supply drives, which I'm already taking part in, that I can do to stop this administration to stop this administration in their quest for wins at politics. Any advice on how to stay optimistic and feel like my voice still matters in these dark times? French the llama, Yulise. I really don't know. I'm definitely struggling with this, but I do want to say that just by writing in and giving us that perspective from a city from a person who lives in that city is very helpful.

That is a voice that is a perspective that I haven't heard a lot from. So that's nice for me to have and something that I'm glad that you could provide for us. Yeah, it is really difficult right now. And I don't have any solutions. I don't know how to change our political life in the United States except by voting. And so I would really strongly encourage, if you are 17 and a half and you are going to turn 18

before November, if you're 23 and you've never voted because you don't think it's important, it is important. It does matter. It matters ultimately more than all the billionaires spending, all of the money trying to push policy this way or that. You can't let those people decide who gets to determine the future of our country. So please vote. The argument that I see on the other side of this Hank, and I have tried to pay attention to that argument,

is that we can't be a nation without borders, and that somehow people on the left want us to be a nation without borders. I think that's just completely untrue. I think that is a straw man argument. I haven't heard anybody say that we shouldn't have borders. There is a difference between having borders and separating families at those borders. There is a difference between having borders and denying people their international right

to claim asylum. And the people who come to this country, whether they are citizens or not, whether they are documented immigrants or not, they deserve due process under the law that has guaranteed them in the Constitution. And to me, this is not a left-right issue. And I think it's really important if we can to stand up as a country and say this is not a left-right issue and refuse to accept it. And I don't know what else we can do other than that. I am also frustrated and scared and overwhelmed and I am so so sorry to the people that this directly affects because I know that I'm not one of those people. but I'm only not one of those people because I won a birth lottery.

And I came in to the days before VidCon, this was all sort of happening. And as we arrived at VidCon, you were like, well, Trump signed a New Executive Order that's gonna do something, I guess. And it just makes it like, it's sort of these additional complexities that it's like, well, what does this mean? Are those films gonna be reunited? Have they been? What's the process through which that happens?

Suddenly it becomes like you just add these little complexities until people stop paying attention, right? And I just I feel like that's done over and over again and it's intentional To try and make people feel like, well, I guess I'm not sure. I guess I'm not sure what the situation is because I'm not sure who's in the right here. Right. Same thing is done when it comes to gun control legislation, things are brought up and nuances are explored.

And then I do think there has been some change in the U.S. policy toward people coming to the United States, but there are too many families that have not been reunited and it is completely unacceptable. Yeah, and so is the amount of just not telling the truth. It is so difficult. It is so difficult to have conversations with people who won't engage with reality. I just don't know what to do with this. Yeah, like, I mean, you see the president over and over again saying that crime in Germany

is going up and it isn't. That is a lie. Crime in Germany is going down. By the way, crime in the United States is also going down. So I would think that the president would want to take credit for that. But I think what the president really wants to do is make people feel afraid. And the truth that crime in the United States is declining as it has been for 40 years is not something that will make people afraid and so it doesn't get any Doesn't get any emphasis. I've got a one that's a little bit more light It's from Abby who asks dear Hank and John after being a traditional academic overachiever

for the last 22 years. I finally graduated college. Next year I'm starting law school because apparently I haven't had enough school in my life yet. But for the summer, I got my dream summer job selling popsicles for King of Pops. It's the best I get to hang out outside and bring people the summer joy of tasty popsicles and hang out with awesome co-workers. But all my friends and family act as though my summer job is a waste of time or unimportant in the scheme of my academic career. My grandma even went so far as to ask how I possibly occupying my time. The thing is, I know that getting this job was the right thing for me this summer and I'm

having an awesome time. What is your dubious advice for dealing with people who think that you're wasting your time just because you aren't doing something traditionally thought of as successful? Spaghetti squash and seagulls, Abby. I would, anytime somebody says that to you, I would hand them a popsicle and say golf. I love this so much, Abby. You're my favorite. I have to think it's so wonderful. Carry around a cooler at all times and anybody, anytime somebody's like, wow, I can't believe your job this summer before you go to law school is selling popsicles

and you just hand them a popsicle and you say, f*** you. No, popsicle and you say Thank you No, no, obviously you say suck on this. No, that's way better That's so much better and it doesn't have to get bleeped it doesn't have to get bleeped But yeah, it's I mean man first of all, it's so important for us to have a variety of experiences in our life, not just the ones that, that, oh God, that carries, like not just the, like the shoot down which we are supposed to slide

into success, like take a diversion, have a good time, and also like have a job that, you know, isn't constant pressure, isn't work and law. Being a lawyer is going to be hard and time-like, you're going to have to grind and work 80-hour weeks sometimes. You don't know what it's like to work for King of Pops. Maybe it's 80-hour weeks, we don't know. You're right.

Maybe it's very hard. It seems that it's not. It seems that my guess is that legally King of Pop's does not want you to work into overtime hours. I'm trying to find out where we're We're King of Pop's is open because I'm on their website right now, and it may be the best designed I don't want to go back to criticizing wedding websites, but Josh Before you finish designing your wedding website,

let me encourage you to check out KingofPops.com because this is a fantastic website and they got a pops by mail section and I've never even heard of this company, but Abby, I have me either. I'm not just buying some pops, although I am, I'm buying a box of pops. I am also buying a King of Pops t-shirt

because they're phenomenally good T-shirts. So, this is so cute. I love it. It's great. There's a happy counter at the top right where you can submit a happy moment that includes a pop story. Yeah, they've had 190 happy moments submitted. Where is King of Pop? I want to open a franchise.

They're well, they're committed to staying in the South and their headquarters are in Atlanta. That's not great. I'm very sorry., they're committed to staying in the South and their headquarters are in Atlanta. That's not great. I'm very sorry. Why are you committed to staying in the South, King of Pops? Why not work with me? Work with me. Yeah, we wanna open up a King of Pops joint in Mizzoula, Montana,

which is the South of Montana. Where it's warm for literally a month. Yeah, but people, you know what, what, Alaska has per capita the most ice cream consumption of any state in the union. Is that for real? No, I made it up. But it could be true. It's not like the kind of thing you made up. It could be true. I'll tell you what, this King of Pops website is so good. I want to buy a King of Pops. This is it, Hank. This is, we found our thing. We're not going to be the people who bring back Omegles. We're going to bring the people who bring King of Pops to Mizzoula.

That's right. I want to own... I'm going to buy a part of King of Pops. Is that an option? Who's available? Meet the team. Yeah, can I buy... Can I call? How do I buy stock in this company? Let's go to meet the team. Let's figure out... There's a lot.

This is a big team. Stephen, are you the guy who sells me stock? Yeah. Is Abby on the team page? I don't know. Let's look at it. Abby, maybe you should have everybody Abby, you're not on the team page.

Abby, I'm not sure you should go to law school. I'm pretty sure that you should work for King of Pops for the rest of your life. Well, you could go to law school and then become like the King of Pops, the In-House Council. In-House Council. Yeah. Right idea, Hank.

Somebody needed to do it. They're growing fast. They are. I mean, look at all of these people who work at King of Pops. I cannot wait for the King of Pops to open in Missoula. Hank, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon,

I want to read one response from Robin who wrote into say, hi John and Hank, I was shocked when I heard your discussion of bread heels on the last episode of your podcast. Lots of people are upset with me about my bread heel position. I apologize. The answer to this question is so incredibly obvious. You make the sandwich with the heel and put the crust on the inside, meaning that when you put the peanut butter on the bread you put it on the crust part, then you have the good bread part outside,

and basically you trick your brain into thinking that you're eating a normal sandwich. It's not stealing, it's Robin. It's a great idea, Robin. That is a high quality idea. I think that would probably work. What if you just made a sandwich with both the heels? So you took the both the heels,

you made a sandwich with them, and then you just pretend like it's a cow zone. That's also a reasonably good idea. Hank, what is the news from Mars this week? I think I know the news from Mars, and I don't think it's great. It's not great. There is currently, as of this recording on Wednesday,

at noon, a planet-wide dust storm. It is officially, it officially goes around the whole planet. So it connected up on the other side. There are some places on the planet that are not currently in the side of a dust storm, but most of the places on the planet are. And that has included, for the last, like two weeks, the place where opportunity rover is. Opportunity landed on Mars in 2004 and has been continuously operational since then,

though it has had moments of outage, for example during a dust storm, I think, in 2007. That sort of like shut it into low power mode for a period of time. Opportunity is powered by solar panels, so obviously anything that's blocking at the sun is bad news. And opportunity also has to have part of its solar panels

like operation is not just a power the rover, but actually to power a heater that keeps the rover warmer than the surface of Mars, so that all of its stuff works. So if opportunity gets too cold, it's batteries will not be able to recharge. It will not turn back on. And that will be the end of the opportunity mission

to be clear over 5,000 days on Mars is a lot more than we were expected to get out of this thing anyway. So it's been a remarkable mission with a lot of scientific achievement. And if this is how it goes out, then that is how it goes out. But there is hope still that it will make it through this dust storm. It's just been a very long storm, and opportunity has been in like it's sort of fault mode,

where the only thing that the battery is powering is the internal clock, so that it doesn't lose mission time. Nothing else is on, so they're completely out of touch with opportunity right now. And they're just kind of waiting and when this, when this dust storm ends and then that storm will end and then after a while, all the dust particles will fall out of the atmosphere.

Those are two separate things. And then you might also have to wait for a clean wind to come and blow the dust off the solar panels before we know for sure whether opportunity is going to come back and say hi again. Well, it will certainly be a sad day whenever that day comes that we lose the opportunity rover, but it is an incredible story. I mean, it's incredible that it's been there for 15 years.

It's just phenomenal. So hopefully there's some joy in that, but it is a very sad day if this dust storm proves to be the end of our time with opportunity. Yes. And John, how's AFC Wimbledon stuff? You got any new players? Got any big, big infusions of cash? We've not had a major infusion of cash.

Uh, the certain American young adult novelists are increasing their sponsorship next season. That seems to have been our... That's a good, that's a good feeling of news. That seems to have been our primary infusion of cash so far as that I can see anyway. There has been quite a bit of news. The biggest news, the headline is that Lyle Taylor, the great Lyle Taylor, the Montserratian Messi, the legend who scored in the League 2 playoff final to help send Wimbledon into League 1 who had so many important goals for his last season to keep us in League 1. He

is moving on. He has signed for Charlton Athletic. It's disappointing because Charlton are also a League 1 side. And I would have liked to see Lyle move on into the second tier of English football. If he was going to move on from Wimbledon, that's not how it happened. I mean, they certainly have a much higher budget than Wimbledon does. I'm sure that, you know, and obviously, you know, you got to take care of yourself during the few years that you have as a professional footballer. He wrote a very nice letter on Instagram, in which he said it's been the best three years of my career to date and talked about some of both the highs and the lows and says it's been a real honor

to play for Wimbledon to wear the shirt and to help in this last chapter of this unique club story. And I wish everyone associated with the club the best for the future. Still a huge bummer. There's no getting around it. I have to say though, personally, I am so grateful to Lyle Taylor. He always kind to me incredibly kind to Henry when we came and watched a game together

and is just just a wonderful person and Obviously did so much for Wimbledon the last three seasons And I wish him all the best at Charlton. We have gotten some new players We also should should say that we lost Darius Charles as well great central defender moving on to Wickham Which is worrisome, but we have just signed in the last few hours goalkeeper on loan from Millwall we've had a lot of successful on loan signings from Millwall over the years so I'm hopeful here his name is Tom King and

millwall over the years. So I'm hopeful here. His name is Tom King and that's good. He has a good last name from the perspective of, you know, like he could be the king of Wimbledon's goal. That's promising. He wears number 13. So he's not a person who's afraid of... He's not a superstitious man, which I think is a good sign. Yep. And he is a goalkeeper. Unfortunately, this likely means that we are not going to have George Long next season. I assume we would not be signing Tom King if we were going to have George Long. So that's another play we're going to have to say goodbye to. But Hank, I have to get to two important signings that we have made,

or three important signings, actually, just in the last few days. Yesterday, we signed a new striker. He's 30 years old. His name is James Hanson, and he has scored so many goals against AFC Wimbledon. Like, every time he plays us, no matter who he's playing for, he scores. So, hopefully, he's going to keep his good goal scoring form now that he's playing for us. He is a big guy, he's a target man. We haven't had one of those in a while, so I'm excited that we've got one.

I don't know what a target man is. You know, usually Wimbledon, when they've been most successful, they've had a big person and a small person up front, like Lieltaylor, fast, Tom Elliott, huge, Automialoccan Fenwa, huge, Lieltaylor, fast, et cetera. So I'm hopeful for James Hanson, and then we've also signed, I think almost just as important, we've got John Meade's under a new contract

He's been a left-back. He can also play in midfield He's really good. I like him a lot and I think he's a big part of the reason we stayed up last season So I'm feeling good about that as well So on the whole we've lost some players. We've gained some players I mean, but the big story is Lyle Taylor. What a legend he's been for Wimbledon and he will long be remembered in Wimbledon war. John, before we get to our phrases of the week, did you do your phrase of the week? I did. Oh, shoot, that's terrible news. There we have a product for awesome message from Heather or Fathosum to Drina.

Drina, you are legitimately one of the kindest people I've ever met. I mispronounced your name for a year because you didn't want to make me feel bad by telling me I was getting it wrong. You literally accepted a new name to be nice. I love you the same, no matter what name I may still accidentally call you Drianah.

And I'm grateful for your unending patience. Oh, thank you for donating to the project for awesome, and using it to spread love. That's great. Hank, oh gosh, was your phrase of the week shirk? No, what was it? Opened out that act, that just popped out, not sure where that came from.

What was it? It was ultimate Frisbee extravaganza. Wow, you really did a good job sneaking that in. I wouldn't have gotten that in a hundred years. You know what mine was? Mine was really hard to guess. Uh, I have no idea. King of Pops. No, I wish. It was Gryffindor. Just Gryffindor? The one word? It was the word Gryffindor Just Gryffindor the one word it was the word Gryffind space door, but I decided to interpret it loosely

And so thank you to Phoebe for donating Gryffindor And Hank who donated your phrase of the week. Thank you to Grace and Scott for donating my phrase of the lead and indeed Thanks to everybody who donated to the project for awesome this year. It meant so much to us and we're excited for next year's P4A. Hank, what did we learn today? I literally just learned that King of Pops was founded by two brothers. Oh wow!

And I also learned that there is a planet-wide dust storm on Mars, which makes it seem like a great place to visit. I learned what a target man is. Hahaha. Let's do only things we learned in the last five minutes. Hahaha. And lastly, I learned that the opportunity rover has been on Mars for more than 5,000 days. Hahaha. Good job.

We learned so many things, John. Thanks for hanging out. Just a little bit of a few minutes. And make it a podcast with me. And thanks to everybody for listening. If you want to email us, you can send your questions to hankinjohnatgebell.com, thank you to everybody who sends in questions.

Because what would we do without you, except go through all of our old podcast notes and pull out the ones that we didn't answer? And we would probably pull out the ones that we didn't answer and we would probably pull out the wrong ones because I can't remember anything that happened more than five minutes ago. That didn't make any sense, but thanks for podding with me. This podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins.

It's produced by Rosian Halsey Rojas and Sheridan. Givesin, our head of community and communications is Victoria von Jornos. The music that you are listening to right now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola. We are now off to make our Patreon only podcast this weekend. Ryan's it's terrible. You should listen to it. Patreon.com slash deerhankajon. Thank you again for listening and as they say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome. Stay in our hometown.

Don't forget to be awesome. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪