Dear Hank & John - 167: A Song Called Shhh

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? And more! There are still perks available on the Project for Awesome Indiegogo! Get yours at projectforawesome.com/donate. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail]! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Don't worry, I prefer to think of Dear John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you dubious advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Shoot, I forgot my joke. You've got two jobs. One is to read the questions. The other, it's not like,

is the podcast that requires a tremendous amount of preparation. I got it. I had one ready, I just didn't have it up. Okay. Did you know that ah, is not a real word? It isn't. Yeah, it's not.

I can't even express how angry that makes me. I would have told that one a little bit differently. If I can pitch it my way. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, I'm open to critiques. Did you know that, oh, isn't even a real word? Yeah. Yeah. I think you had to go harder into the anger. Okay. Isn't even a real word like that. No, I hope you don't take this personally, but I don't think you're in touch with your anger. Do you remember in the 1980s how there was that whole movement where people had to get in touch with their anger?

Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was a bad idea, I think. It was also like part of like getting to know your inner child and of course like what your inner child wanted was coincidentally also what your 44 year old midlife crisis self wanted. Right.

Yeah, cars to do whatever. Right. I think I do have some good news for you this week. In fact, it's great news, probably. We don't know for sure yet because it hasn't started as we're recording this. But the project for awesome is happening. The 12th annual project for awesome Nerdfighteria's huge charity project Every year there's a 48 hour live stream which is ended as you're listening to this

But if you're listening to this right after it became available you can still go to projectforawesome.com Slash donate right now and get amazing perks including Episodes of dear Hank and John a secret episode My Podcast, the Anthropocene Reviewed, only for Project for Awesome Donors, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, there's lots of good stuff. John, I think that you and I are gonna do a commentary of Greece too. Are we definitely gonna do this?

Cause I feel like we should definitely do this. I believe so. If you get that perk or the digital bundle, you will be able to watch Greece too, as if you were with Hank and me. Yeah. I've recently, I did watch Greece too, as if you were with Hank and me. Yeah. I've recited, I did watch Greece too in the last year.

And honestly, it kind of held up. I was like, okay, this is pretty good, actually. The one thing I know for certain is that it's the best Greece movie. I don't know if it's the best movie. I did not say that it was the best movie. John, do you want to get to some answers from our questions of our listeners?

Sure, and how elegantly put. This first question comes from Jackie, who writes, dear John and Hank, I recently got an office job at my school's health clinic. The hours are good and the pay, about $12 an hour is pretty good for an entry-level position. Since the holiday season is around the corner,

I feel obligated to get my boss something to mark the occasion. Should I research my boss's interests and get a really specific gift or will it? How hard work. Do I need to get anything at all? Any advice would be appreciated, part-timing in Portland, Jackie Z.

I feel like if I answered a question similar to this at some point in the past, and the answer is a card is above and beyond. Yeah, a card is not even necessary. You don't have to get your boss a holiday present, but if you really like your boss, you can get a card. Hank, have I told you before about the CEO of that silverware company?

The CEO of that silverware company. There are still silverware companies. I thought we were just all using the stuff that was made a long time ago. Hank, yes. There was a CEO of a silverware company. I don't think they actually made silverware. They made like cutlery that was silver-plated.

Sure. But anyway, it was called like the O'Night of a silverware company or something. That's not relevant. What's relevant is that their CEO was this beloved person who didn't hoard all of the wealth that the company made and who the employees of the company really respected and he kept them employed during difficult periods and everything.

And when he retired, the employees of the company pitched in to buy him a Cadillac. That's awful nice. And that is the kind of CEO you don't see as often these days. No, yeah. Where it's like, I think of my long career, I finally got that big payoff. It's a car.

It's like the car I could have bought 40 years ago if I had been a normal CEO. But that is the career I desperately want to have. Like, I want to be the kind of boss and person who gets a Cadillac when he retires. Like, that is my goal. Yeah. I'm just gonna say it right now.

Obviously, no obligation people who work it complexly. I look at that person's career as a real guiding light. So unless your boss is that extraordinary, Jackie, don't worry about it. John, why do you think this is something that occurred to Jackie? Like why did it pop up as something that Jackie thought that Jackie should do?

I think Jackie's probably just a nicer person than we are. Ah, that might be it. Yeah. Honestly, just as a heads up Hank, I'm not planning to get you a Christmas present. Oh yeah, Katherine and I tossed around some ideas for you and ultimately we decided that a real gift to you would be not increasing the amount of stuff

you have to deal with in your life. That's so true. It's so true. Yeah. I am getting you and Catherine a small gift, but you're going to receive it in B-Like. Well, that was very small. But mostly what I wanted is stuff that I can eat so that I don't have anymore. Well, good news. Yes.

It's consumable. Excellent. I think we got you some consumables as well. You don't consume them with your mouth. Okay, I'm looking forward to those animals. Hahaha! Now they're consumed by something external to you. What the f*** is it? Fish food? No.

They're consumed by something external to you. I don't know, they consume the wrong word. What could it possibly be? They're consumed. I'd say 10% of people listening right now know exactly what I'm talking about. They're consumed by something external to you. During an activity that you enjoy. They're consumed by something external to you during an activity

you enjoy. Is it clothing that wicks my sweat? Whoa, no, no, no, no. They're consumed, but why is consumed by something external to me that would be a present for me. Are you trying to solve world hunger? I guess, no, no, no. It just, it makes it makes the thing you enjoy more enjoyable. And in the process, it is used up. And in the process, it is used up. Is it a subscription to NBC Sports Gold? No.

Which I would appreciate. No, though, maybe now it is. No, don't worry, I already bought it for myself. This is what everybody on Twitter tell you what I'm talking about, and then you'll be like, oh duh, is that okay? Cause, is that what I tell you, your Christmas present is? That's fine.

I mean, there's only like two activities I enjoy, and neither of them involve feeding things external to me. It's used up during the process. It is not consumed by anything. It's used up during the process of... I just... What are your two major things that you like? Is it solar power to pay for the electricity

that allows me to watch soccer? No, no, don't... The only things I like, the only things I... Okay, I'm just gonna tell you right now Hank yeah in any given moment the only two things that I really want to do Mm-hmm are watch soccer Mm-hmm ideally Liverpool or aFC Wimble-Din and read a book Okay, well But that's not true. There's other things you enjoy

And I know is it related to one of your face one enjoy. And I know it's one of your main things. It's one of your main bits. Is it related to gardening? No, that is one of your main bits and you do enjoy that. I thought it might be some like sweet fertilizer. That's good. You said me your composted poop. I just got, John, I got you this bag of really deep soil.

It's just great. This is the good stuff. Yeah, I just you this bag of really deep soil. It's just great. This is the good stuff. Yeah, I just said you the really good stuff. We make it in Mizzula. You don't have dirt like that in Indianapolis. We really don't actually. Another question, John, it comes from Michael who asks, dear Hank and John, when you're laying down

on your side, where do your arms go? Rhymes with Michael, Michael. Michael, my arms stay attached to my shoulders. Yeah, which is a bummer when you think about it. I'd never considered this until just now, but wouldn't it be great if we could trade out our arms for better arms or for legs? Oh gosh. Are we just switching our arms on our legs?

That seems like a real bad idea. It seems like the arms are put where they are for a good reason. Yeah, no, obviously we would be adding an extra pair of legs so that you can become a four-legged creature and fast as a cheetah. Ooh, could I have like three legs in one arm? That would be fun. Would it?

Yeah, I'd also like eat an apple at the same time. I'd love to try it, right? Yeah. Yeah. One of the bummers is that there are so few versions. I just can't try it. A human anatomy that you can try. And also, I think that it would help a lot when sleeping on your side. Because, yeah.

Well, the question I have, though, is how do you put your arm back on if you've taken them both off? I assume it's just a Mr. Potato Head situation just to snap in, snap out. So you just like got to like position your body in the right way and just be like, Cuck! Yeah, that's what I'm imagining. The arteries all reattach.

I mean, if you think about it, Hank, human anatomy is such a disaster. Like, it's a beautiful disaster. Why are we perched so precariously on these two long limbs? It makes sense. I do often feel like I would like to have four legs because I feel precarious. I feel like a tip over at any moment. Catherine has very small feet,

and I honestly don't understand how she stands up. I think it's crazy that my head is six feet away from the ground. That means that every single fall could be catastrophic. Why isn't my head like a foot and a half off the ground? Yeah, yeah, which is like orange head is always like a foot and a half off the ground. And so he never really hurts himself that bad.

He doesn't have that far to go. That's one of the big pleasures of being too, I would argue, is that like your falls are not catastrophic. There is a linear relationship between age and how much it sucks to fall down. Oh yeah. No, I fell down the stairs yesterday a little bit, like three of the stairs in my house and I feel real bad.

I feel so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, wait till you're 80. And you break it. Yeah. No, if I've done that, if I've done that 20 years from now, I've been the freaking hospital. Anyway, Michael, that's what we do with our arms. Yeah.

We just like you, we think, boy, it would be nice to not have these stupid things during this one particular activity, but I have them anyway. And so I just, you know, I do whatever feels right, and then I wake up and my shoulder hurts. All right, this next question comes from Avery, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I'm well-versed in the idea that it is unacceptable to wear the t-shirt of a band you don't listen to. I've watched my friend struggle to name three Ramon songs too many times.

By the way, I think it's fine to have a t-shirt of a band you don't listen to as long as it's an awesome t-shirt. But does this policy transfer to YouTubers? Sometimes I'll be scrolling through dftba.com and think something looks really cool, but I don't watch the creator. Can I wear it anyway? Do I need to first watch the creator in case someone asks me to name three videos? Pumpkins and penguins, Avery. Oh, so somebody's gonna catch you. They're gonna be like, I see what shirt you're wearing. Tell me three videos. Oh Gosh, are we there? Is that where we're at as a society?

Right where the kind of goth ism of Twitter has now spread into real life. Yeah Yeah, I mean no, I think a lot of those shirts are designed specifically in the hope that people will buy them even if they don't Know very much about the show. Because they want to sell as many shirts as possible. I see oftentimes YouTuber shirts as like fashion lines. Like here are the things that I think look good. It matches with my aesthetic, and it's got a message that I believe in.

And if you have an aesthetic that matches that and you like the message, yeah, absolutely, just buy it. And people ask like where you get that shirt, it doesn't even have to be for me, YouTuber. and you like the message. Ah, yeah, absolutely, just buy it. And people ask like, where you get that shirt, it doesn't even have to be from a YouTuber. It's just the shirt. Says the guy who owns the merch company. Well, but you should tell them that you got it from dftba.com, you're friendly neighborhood retailer.

You should definitely tell them where you got it. And also, there is no reason not to buy a shirt at all. There are no reasons. There's no reason not to buy a shirt at all. There are no reasons. You can't find a reason not to buy a YouTuber shirt at dftba.com that I will agree with. Not to mention posters, coffee bugs, that's what goes on and on. Yeah. All right.

This next question comes from AJ who writes, Dear John and Hank, so both my grandpa and my step grandma recently shared a picture on Facebook with the caption, I bet you won't share this because you're embarrassed to have Jesus on your wall. The problem is that the picture was actually of you and McGregor's version of Obi-Wan Kenobi in the Star Wars prequel to AJ. I've seen this many. Which they have not seen.

Should I tell them that they fell prey to an internet troll or just let them live in ignorance, AJ? Oh, let them live in ignorance! Definitely, right? Here's the thing, AJ. We don't know, for sure, that Jesus didn't look exactly like Obi-Wan Kenobi as played by you and McGregor in the Star Wars prequels. We know that he probably didn't, but we don't know anything for sure. Yeah, you just can't prove it. There's no way to

prove that he didn't just happen to look like you and McGregor. In fact, it makes me think a little bit like maybe that, what George Lucas was going for. Oh, it's definitely what George was just going for. What the Jedi Roads was going for. Yeah, very. George Lucas was definitely going for like, what is the current American imagining of Jesus in the historical moment that I am making

these Star Wars movies? That said, AJ, it's one of those things where just it's not gonna make anything better, I don't think. This whole meme for me is actually a pretty good symbol for what's wrong with the way that we're talking to each other on the internet, which is that one group of people is making fun of another group of people who are also at the same time

outraged and offended by a perceived slight or a perceived failure of the culture. And so we end up just kind of humiliating each other and shaming each other instead of like listening to each other. And such a bummer to me. Yeah, and ultimately like the thing that bothers me more

is that I find this joke funny. Like that's what funny joke. It's a funny joke, and I also, I agree with the jokes underpinning, which is that the notion that Jesus has been marginalized in American culture is just ridiculous. Like, yes. Jesus continues to be very important to people,

and I don't think that there are many people who think of Jesus as central to the human story who are afraid to put an illustration of Jesus on their Facebook profile. Yeah, but like, then, like to me, the way of going about combating that is not to like share information about how this is like a silly thing. It's to like do people into making fools of themselves and that does not make them feel less like Jesus is marginalized. It makes them feel more attacked.

Exactly. All it does is solidify people in their pre-existing positions. The thing that freaks me out about the social internet, I'm hosting Crash Course Navigating Digital Information and we've been shooting them lately. And one thing that keeps coming up is that over time, when you have these information silos that we all live in, your feed becomes more and more extreme.

Like, the stuff that you respond to is the most extreme, the funniest, the most cutting, the most outrageous stuff. And so over time, the algorithm is taught to show you more and more and more of that. And then you think that things are worse and worse and worse and that the other people who you disagree with are stupider and stupider and stupider and I just think that if we cannot listen to people who don't share our values if we can't pay attention carefully to the thoughtful people who have ideological differences from us we are so screwed.

Now, I mean, so if you want to hear more of this type of conversation with a little bit of a more hopeful spin on it, I think you might like delete this, but podcasts that I do about my Twitter stream. But the thing that I don't maybe recognize as a positive enough is that in many ways we are seeing each other's perspectives more than ever like we are like a lot of these perspectives were out there We just weren't aware of them and I think that in the short term that's going to cause a lot of tension but maybe in the long term it's going to cause some Understanding it but like I do think it's going to get worse before it gets better Yeah, I am so much less optimistic than you are. I guess that's in keeping with our personalities, but I am not optimistic about where things

are going. I see absolutely no indication that perspectives are being moderated. I see increasing polarization. I see signs that people who have been on the platforms for a long time are getting better at using them. Whereas people who have been on the platform for less time are still not good at using them. And so that is making me feel like maybe people just

need to go through a process of using the platform wrong for a while before they get better at it. I want to give you the last word, but I just disagree with that so much. Like intellectually I know that I don't give you the last word often enough, but that's so wrong that I feel like I have to correct you. This next question comes from Audrey, John. Let's see how we do with this one. Dear Hank, just for the record,

I'm like eight years into using Twitter and I use it worse than ever. Yeah, I've seen a lot of people though do the thing that you are doing, which is disengaging from it and finding other ways to communicate ideas through the internet, through social internet spaces. It's just like finding that certain platforms aren't as good at it.

So you are to me a sign of things getting better. Me quitting Twitter, the surest sign that Twitter is stabilizing. I didn't say Twitter. I didn't say that, yeah, I don't believe that Twitter is going to get better. I believe that Twitter is going to get less relevant I believe that Twitter is going to get less relevant. But it's gonna take a long time. Okay, no, that makes me quite hopeful. All right, we can move.

All right. This next question comes from Audrey, who asks, dear Hank and John, I live on a fairly busy street in a big city and there has been an accordion player under my bedroom window for eight days now. And first it was charming and it made me feel like I was in a French film.

But now I would like to murder him help Audrey Oh my god We know how to fix this problem. I guess my first question is how many songs does this accordion player know because in my experience most accordion players Know like five songs Well, or just have like five preferred hits, you know, maybe this recording player knows a bunch of songs, but knows which ones get the tips, right? So it's just playing the Christmas music right now. It's just a chordian Christmas carols all day and night. Oh, God. I mean, if you want to know what I would do, I would just

silently see until theion player moved on. Yeah, me too. I would not have a confrontation, but I would be really angry all the time, and I would tell all my friends about it, and I would complain a lot, but not do anything to fix the problem. That's what I would do. But we're gonna give you healthy tips. For example, save up 20 bucks and be like, hey, Jeffrey the accordion player, I'll give you 20 bucks if you leave this particular street. Just go down a couple of blocks, it'll be fine.

What are they paying you? I will double it. Here's what you have to do. I would like you to drastic a situation. That's an overreaction. I hate it when other people pick the soundtrack of my life. It drives me crazy. Even when my children do it, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are not listening to your Christmas music. We are listening to my Christmas music because this is my car. This is my car. It's my, I bought it with my money.

You cannot choose the Christmas music in it. As soon as you buy me a car, then you could choose the Christmas music child. What if, what if Audrey? I want a Cadillac when I retire. And you can put whatever Christmas CDs you want into it, six CDanger in the back. By the way, I want a CD player in my Cadillac when I retire.

And 2030. Wait, what? I mean, I was actually something that that was on the low end. Oh, no, I was intending to retire at the age of 42. John, do you believe that it's almost 2020? Like, unacceptable. I kind of do just because I'm so old, you know? Like, yeah.

Like, I look in the mirror and I'm like, I mean, yeah, of course you're 40. Look at yourself. John, I do have another suggestion for Audrey. Which is, take up the accordion. Maybe you'll appreciate it more. If you have a deeper understanding of this beautiful and complex instrument.

Yeah, I mean, the passive-aggressive thing that you could do would be take up the accordion and then sit on the opposite corner, just learning the accordion. You know, just trying to figure it out as you go. Learning just how much how much noise can this thing make or go and hire the accordion player to teach you to play the accordion. Like, look, I heard your music and I would like for you to come up and then they won't have to panhandle because they have this new job getting paid $10 a

week by you. Yeah, I think once again, Hank fails to understand how jobs work. It's all gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine in the end, Audrey, because you'll, you know, the cold embrace of death will take care of it eventually. Well, good. I'm glad that we got that out of the way, which reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by the cold embrace of the accordion death.

That's what they play. And when you leave Earth, you just hear the accordion and you're like, oh my god, it's just like back in 2018. And I live in that apartment. Oh, it's the last sound that every person hears. You get played off. It's just like the sound of all of the valves open, just the accordion opening on its own. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I also brought to you by you and McGregor Jesus. You and McGregor Jesus, maybe. Maybe. And this podcast is also brought to you by items consumed outside of yourself.

Items consumed outside of yourself. For Christmas presents, yay, what are they? I think what I'm struggling with Hank is I just can't remember any hobbies that I have. And lastly, today's podcast is brought to you by Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head, wouldn't that be cool if we could just do that with our limbs?

Yeah, or our facial features? Just pop things off, put them back on. ["Pomp and Circumstance"] Henk, before we get to the all-important news from our ZNFC Wimble Den, I wanna get to a few more questions. First off, this one from Lucy. Dear John and Hank, how are you?

I call upon you in my hour of need. I bought a plane ticket to New York. I'm from Argentina on sale because I just graduated from college. And I thought it would be fun to spend three weeks in New York City. But then it dawned on me that I'm going to spend three weeks in New York City alone during the holidays. And they're from December 16th to January 3rd. What should I do?

Oh my god. I don't have any friends. Oh gosh. I don't have any friends in New York. What have I done? Should I cancel everything? Lucy. Oh gosh.

This is definitely not something I would do. This is not something I would do. Do you have a way to stay? Yeah, Lucy, I think you can cancel everything if you want and nobody's gonna judge you. Yeah But if you already have a place to stay and you have a non-refundable plane ticket and you're going to New York for three weeks Congratulations, good luck and also I have set up an email address for you. It's Lucy to New York for three weeks. Congratulations, good luck. And also, I have set up an email address for you. It's Lucy in New York, 2018 at gmail.com. Oh my God.

And I have emailed you the password. Oh my God. And if you live in New York and you want to be friends with Lucy or you want to show Lucy the Metropolitan Museum of Art or something, email Lucy in New York 2018 at gmail.com. Oh my God. Oh, this is beautiful.

I really hope that that works, John. I hope it works too. Although, again, Lucy, feel free to cancel. Nobody is going to judge you when it's spend the holidays with your family. That's right. But if not, enjoy New York. Yeah, and if you are in New York, email Lucy in New York 2018 at gmail.com.

All right, we did it. We did it. We did it. This next question comes from, this next question comes from Aaron who asks, dear Hank and John, I was raised Christian and used to be pretty religious, but I'm not anymore.

I've always loved Christmas, but as I've gotten more agnostic, it's become harder to enjoy it. I want to still love the holiday in a secular way, but whenever I'm say singing, and Christmas Carol, I feel weird because I know I don't actually believe in it. How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? My name means Ireland, but I'm not Irish, Aaron. Hank, how do you get in the secular Christmas spirit? Yeah, I mean, it sounds Ireland, but I'm not Irish, Aaron. Hank, how do you get in the secular Christmas spirit? Yeah, I mean, first of all, I don't know, like I'm into the whole story aspect of it too. Like I'm not, like, so like I have and love my creashes,

like we set up with like the baby Jesus and the llamas, I don't know if there's llamas There might not be llamas probably but sure, okay a lot of llamas everybody's that's what everybody says is that I believe llamas Are an animal from the Americas. Yeah, everybody says that that Jesus was born in Peru well, maybe they're camels and Peru. Well, maybe they're camels. And that does seem more likely. Or possibly it's just like we're taking interpretations. But I love setting them up. I love, you know, like I don't shy away from

the religious imagery because I see that as part of my heritage and I see it as also part of history, like both the heritage, but both like, like both the stories I see as part of history, but I also see that like, that event as part of history in a way, you know, I might not like deeply connect with some of the more supernatural parts of that story, but I do think that it's a very important part of history, obviously. And then also, I love the art of it. I love a lot of the melodies of Christmas carols are very beautiful, whether or not they are religious or secular.

There are obviously lots of secular Christmas carols that you can totally get into that, that if you are feeling a little bit like you're treading upon something that you shouldn't be treading upon, I could definitely see someone coming at me and saying like you're not being like respectful of these traditions as somebody who doesn't believe in it the same way I do, but for me this is a way of like of honoring tradition of connecting with history of connecting with my heritage. And I like all the bits of it, honestly. Yeah, and I don't think that that's weird or that you should apologize for that.

I think there are lots of ways into the Christmas story and there are lots of things that different people can connect to. Obviously, there's lots, also lots of people who don't celebrate Christmas, which is great. Yep. There's so many ways to be a person. But the thing that I always respond to in the Christmas story, and I think we can all look at regardless of our religious background is that there was a child from a vulnerable community, from an impoverished family who was born in a place that his parents were not living or comfortable and that that child was special and important and valuable. No matter what your background is, that's an important story to hear. I feel like sometimes when you've moved away from a tradition,

sometimes there are images or ideas tied to it that don't resonate with you anymore or that are even unpleasant to you now. Finding new ways to celebrate tradition and finding new ways to establish tradition is like that is one of the big hard parts of living in a society that kind of asks us all to decide individually how we are going to interface with it. And that's work, but I think that this is that these are times of the year when we get to do that work and that it's worth doing. I totally agree. And also, this is the part of the podcast that when Henry and I listen, he always says, why did you get serious? Alright, alright, thanks. Next question comes from Vanessa who writes, dear John and Hank, I live in Wisconsin where it snows occasionally, and it's often icy. This morning was one of those days,

and at 6am, I slid on the ice into the rear end of a Tesla at about 10 miles per hour. No one was hurt, and there wasn't any damage to either car, but the couple in the car immediately jumped out and began to berate me and threatened to call the cops, which is totally fine to do in a fender bender, I get it. I'm gonna call that, no, that's the thing you do. That's not a threat.

That's like, I'm gonna call the cops on you and you're like, yeah, please. Yeah, no, that is not so pretty. I already let them know, it's fine. I'm calling my insurance, right now, it's cool. Right, sorry. I was polite and checked to make sure they were all right and offered to pay for any damages,

but it didn't seem to matter to them. and they just kept explaining to me over and over that their car cost over a hundred thousand dollars. Oh my god. Which is more than the degree I'm trying to get right now. They drove away fine, and I parked my car at the nearest Chick-fil-A to call my friend and vent slash cry after being video recorded in cross-examined for ten minutes. So I guess my question is, why are people with more money than the average, usually so rude?

V isn't for vendetta, it's for Vanessa. I don't know. Vanessa, I'm sorry this happened to you. There actually is some evidence that people with more money are more rude, especially to people that they perceive to be of a lower socioeconomic status than them. One example of this is that when two cars stop

at the same time at a four-way stop, the more expensive car is statistically more likely to go first. Like, you know, the people driving that car are more likely to be aggressive or more likely to believe that they arrived at the stop sign first. Like, you know, the people driving that car are more likely to be aggressive or more likely to believe that they arrived at the stop sign first. And I've read a few studies like that. I think there are a few reasons for it. The first is that I do think money blinds you to other people's experience. That said, there is never an excuse for saying how much your car cost

period. Especially after an accident. There is never a reason to tell a stranger that your car cost a lot of money. The fact that your car cost a lot of money should be an embarrassment to you. That doesn't seem to be how most people feel about it. I, in high stress situations, which this, of course, is when you get in a car accident, no matter how minor, it is surprising to me that some people react in anger because like, my reaction is like, Oh, God, like the main thing I'm concerned about is that the other person's going to be angry.

And so my main concern is like, how do I diffuse their potential anger? Even when I get re-rended, I'm like, hello, are you okay? I'm so sorry that you re-rended me. I apologize for my car being in the way. But I do think that when people are in intense situation, sometimes they behave in ways they aren't proud of.

And I think that's okay. Sometimes I think anger might be a natural reaction if you're already kind of in an angry place or in a stressed out place, and then this thing happens, and it just like amps your anger up and you feel unjustly maligned and all of that stuff, I kind of get that.

What I don't get is not like apologizing for it profusely five minutes later. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it does so. Yeah, I mean, it's hard to take one circumstance and apply it to all circumstances. And for obvious reasons, we shouldn't do that. But it is troubling that research seems to indicate

that the more power you have, often in the form of money, the more you try and rationalize and justify, there are reasons why you have that. And thus, people who don't have it have done something wrong. And that is a, it's a known effect and one to be cautious of and wary about. Yeah, even unto, yeah, yeah, all along the power spectrum, by the way. Like, I think that all of us, obviously Hank and I come at this from an extremely privileged position, but I think all of us have more power than some other people in different circumstances. And it's really important to remember that a lot of that is a lottery.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I'm sorry that happened Vanessa, that sucks. The good news. The sucks. Like, one, you get in the frickin' fender, fender vendor, two, then people yell at you and film you and tell you they're gonna call the cops. Like, we kinda call the cops.

That's a strange thing to do. So I was recently in a very minor accident with a postal service vehicle hang. I rear-ended them, but it was because I reversed into the mail truck. Okay. It's pretty humiliating. Uh-huh. And the mail truck. Okay, it's pretty humiliating. Uh-huh.

And the mail carrier got out and very politely was like, I believe that you reversed into me. And I was like, oh yeah, no, that's definitely what happened. It's like, oh yeah. And I eventually gathered that like it is popular practice to intentionally reverse into a government vehicle in the hopes of then claiming that you were rear-ended and getting some kind of insurance payout. Yeah.

But no, my reaction was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And they were like, unfortunately, as this is a extension of the federal government, this is going to take a while. Katherine got an accident with a Forest Service vehicle once and I can confirm. Yeah, although in the end, they were very friendly and easy to work with and I am very grateful the United States Bustal Service is doing wonderful work despite Yahoo's like me. Okay. What are we even doing on this podcast, John?

This next question comes from Kate who asks, Hi Hank, a John. I periodically look at rent prices in cities around the US, as well as the one I live in, just to see what's out there. Today, I looked at one bedroom apartment in Indianapolis, and noticed a lot of them were in huge repurposed brick buildings and included fitness centers, even outdoor pools. Is this normal? And the prices are so low compared to my towns. Is Indianapolis the place to be? Yes. Please unambiguate Kate. Yeah, it is the place to be. We have a bunch of buildings that are very sturdy brick buildings, Kate, that

have been abandoned because they used to serve industrial and manufacturing purposes and those companies no longer exist, but the buildings still do. So a lot of them have been converted into beautiful apartments with indoor pools and lots of amenities and they aren't very expensive. There are also lots of new construction apartment buildings in Indianapolis that are very nice and there's nice condos, nice townhouses. You can get an inexpensive stand-alone house with a yard if you're into that kind of thing. When Sarah and I moved to Indianapolis from New York City, I remember thinking that not only were like all of the houses much less expensive than our 800 square foot apartment

in New York had been, but like that worried me. I remember thinking like, does that mean that the intrinsic value of all these houses is like next to nothing? It turns out that it's just much less expensive to live here. There's a lot of reasons for that. Some of them are because it is not as desirable to live here for some people. But for me, it's got the white river, the dirtiest river in

America. And I love it. John, do you, do you think we should all move to Indianapolis? And I don't mean like me in my office. I mean like everybody listening to the podcast right now. No, that would ruin that would ruin, man. I would like, there's not. I would like it to stay about the same sizes. It is maybe a little bit larger. Like when Indianapolis was in the running for the Amazon headquarters, I was like, please, no, no, please don't ruin it.

That said, I do really want you and Catherine to move here. I think that you would love it. I think it would take like a year for you to like it, but I think you'd love it. And it would solve so many of my problems. John, did you know that you and McGregor played Jesus in a movie called Last Days in the Desert? Thanks for listening to me.

And no, I didn't. Did it get good reviews? Let's see. It's got a 5.6 out of 10. That's not good. And you and McGregor is shown as playing two different characters in the movie, Jesus and Devil.

And? Oh, and the Devil. I mean, wow. Those people in Hollywood, they think of everything. Yeah. Hahaha. I mean, wow, those people in Hollywood, they think of everything. What twist is next? What, yeah, what could be the next? Next you'll tell me that the bad guy is actually the dad of the good guy. There, so there appears to be not very many people in this movie.

In fact, just five. There are five cast actors in this movie. That's all you need. There's Jesus in the devil. There's father, mother, son. And then there's get this demonic woman because what movie is complete without a demonic woman? That's a disappointment.

Yeah, you know what though? Hank, it's 77% fresh on rotten tomatoes. So for all we know, it's good. I will say this, I am tired of people who look like you and McGregor playing Jesus. Yeah. Because Jesus, again, probably, probably based on what we know,

not a you and McGregor type. God, there are more executive producers than it has actors. Well, that's the case for most movies actually. You and McGregor has so much. Oh, my God. So tree eyes. Good, God.

You know, hey, looking at you and McGregor, I can't help but conclude that he's kind of the hot version of me. Well, it's nice to know that that person is out there. If only you had those sparkly blue eyes staring intensely into people's souls, but instead you got whatever you got. Hazel or whatever. I myself don't even know. I am confusing. Okay, Hank, we need to get to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. There is a lot of news from AFC Wimbledon this week. So all of the men's first team has hired a new coach. His name is Wally Downs. He's a former Wimbledon player. He has coached

all over. And there was an immediate response from the fans. Some of it positive, much of it negative, largely because of some homophobic tweets that Wally had posted, he apologized for them and took them down, but he did also make them. In a statement, one of the people who work for Kick It Out, an organization that supports LGBT rights in sport and also has worked with AFC Wimbledon a lot who traditionally have been a leader on this front. Said we hope downs reflect seriously on his apology and turns it into action to help sport become a more inclusive place for LGBT people and I agree.

Also both the men and women's team for AFC Wimbledon won their second round FA Cup ties, which is great news. Hank, you'll remember that getting to the third round of the FA Cup is a big deal because that's when all the Premier League teams come in and you can get one of those amazing marquee matchups. That did not happen. It's dead. AFC Wimbledon got Fleetwood.

Fleetwood town. Oh, Fleetwood town. Yeah. Fellow residents of Fleetwood town. Yeah. Fellow residents of the third tier. Yeah, that's the Murleague. So you could be playing them in just a normal game. In fact, we were scheduled to play them the same weekend. It's not the most lucrative matchup we could have gotten,

but if we win that game, then we'll go to the fourth round of the FA Cup, which could again be a big money matchup. Of course, winning that game will be no easy task. The women's team got matched with whole city, which is a big team. That's a huge opponent for them. It's going to be a really exciting match. I'm so thrilled for the AFC Wimbledon women's team that they're going to be headed to the third round of the FA Cup against such a big opponent.

And who knows, anything can happen in football. So we'll keep our fingers crossed. All right, John, with the news from Mars, is that there are good rocks. There are good rocks on Mars, John. We are still studying some rocks we found in 2004, the opportunity rover for a spot of them. Still trying to figure out what the heck could have formed

these very pretty little pebbles. They call them Martian blueberries, because they look like little blueberries. But in more recent news, the Curiosity Rover has come across a weirdly shiny rock that they don't know what it is. They look at it and they're like, that looks like metal. It just looks like maybe pure metal, which might be, it might just look like it's shiny and there's no way to tell until we get the Kimcam instrument on it to figure out what it's made of. And that data is not in yet,

but it'd say it's probably, it's likely a meteorite. So one of the weird things about meteorites is that they're always falling even on Earth, but they are hard to find because there's a lot of stuff going on. There's a lot of geological activity, there's a lot of water rushing over everything, which is why, weirdly, one of the great places to find meteorites on Earth is Antarctica, where it's actually like, it's just ice and in many places, there's very little precipitation, so meteorite falls and it just stays there for thousands of years,

also really easy to spot, because there's only one way for a rock to show up in the middle of Antarctica, on top of an ice sheet. Well, too, you could put it there as a person or it could fall out of space. But on Mars, there has not been for a very long time any geologic or climatological activity that would be great at significantly burying or moving around meteorites.

So there, and also it's a much thinner atmosphere and so they're more likely to survive falling to the surface. So they're thinking probably this is a meteorite which is exciting that they could they could be analyzing a meteorite on the surface of another planet. Not that it would necessarily tell us we probably couldn't tell where it came from or what kind of meteorite, well we could tell what kind of meteorite it is, but not necessarily where its origin was, but still a cool little find nonetheless. Yeah, can I ask you, do we know if the Mars insight has touched the ground yet to find out, to start to figure out whether Mars has a solid core?

I would have been talking about that if there was news from Insight. Yeah, it's doing its thing It's got a lot of setup to do before it before it starts It's a slow process. I would imagine to set things up when you've just landed on Mars It's got to be even a lander probably needs a breath They are doing all of the testing right now to make sure everything's working properly before they start Placing things on the surface. Well, that's exciting. So far so good though. So far so good.

And I'm very pleased to know about your rock. That's awesome. I've got you good rock. Hank, thank you for podding. And thanks to everybody for listening as well. It's always nice to hear from you over at Hank and John at gmail.com. What we do without your questions, the product for awesome is open for just a little bit longer if you're listening to this on Monday. Also, the Nerdfighteria survey is out and I recognize that a lot of people

don't watch videos all the time when you're also listening to the podcast. So, if you want to fill out that survey, it would help us get a more diverse view of how this community feels about various things. I'll put the link in the description. Dear Hank and John is a co-production of WNYC Studios and Complexly. It's edited by Nicholas Jenkins and produced by Rosie Honolulu Haas and Sheridan Gibson. Our head of community and communications is Victoria Bonn-Jorno. The music you're hearing is by the great Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome. you