Dear Hank & John - 177: Gum Influencers

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail]! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Dores, I prefer to think of it dear John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you the advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC, Wimbledon John. Yes. What is a pirate's favorite letter? Is it R?

You would think that, but John, I believe that it is the sea I mean it gets points for the misdirection value. Uh-huh. I gotcha. Yeah. I gotcha 100% do you have any tweets that you would have tweeted this week? You know what I would have tweeted about this week I would have tweeted a question, something along the lines of, do billionaires understand that the public can come for their money at any time? Like, are they familiar with the history of revolutions in which the public comes for the money? Yeah. Uh, yeah, that sounds like a good one.

You should have said those to me, I'll tweet them. I, I sent you a, I sent you a text and you said that would be a good tweet, but I don't know if you actually tweeted it, but I was pretty pleased with the text. I can't remember what it was though. It was good. I remember thinking that seems like John wanted to tweet that and instead he texted it to me. Oh, oh, it's related to billionaire's.

Is it? It was, we've reached peak 2019 with the world's most powerful person successfully portraying himself as a plucky underdog. Yes, that is correct. That is exactly what it says. It's as if you read it off of your phone. I did read it off my phone.

Yeah, we don't have to get into the details of what story I'm referring to, because really, I could be referring to almost any story. Yeah, you do not know which plucky underdog billionaire. You're talking about in that text message. Especially not with the news cycle moving so quickly. I mean, by the time this podcast goes up,

I'm sure a new billionaire will be portraying. It'll probably be Michael Bloomberg. Yeah. Plucky underdog, Michael Bloomberg. So Hank, as you know, I do genuinely like some billionaires, but just the ones you've met. No, just the ones who've committed the vast majority of their wealth to reducing

poverty and disease burden in the poorest parts of the world. But I, it's not a great time to be a billionaire. I mean, actually now that I think about it, it's never a bad time to be a billionaire, except like during the revolution. I was surprised to hear that it was not a great time to be a billionaire. It sounds like a fine thing to be. It still a pretty good time. It's less of a good time to be a billionaire than like 10 years ago. 10 years ago, right coming out of that recession, I was just the best time to be a billionaire. The remarkable thing to me is to have a great life as a billionaire. All you really have to do is just be real quiet.

It's not like I'm searching you guys out. It's true. It's not like I'm looking for guys out. Yeah, it's true. Looking for a billionaire news. I don't want more of it. Just be quiet. Why do you want everybody to know? It's bad for you. It's so true. It's so true. There's a bunch of billionaires who I don't know anything about because they don't run for president Oh, yeah, the vast majority of them. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's answer some questions from our listeners This first question comes from Kirsten who asks a question for us dear Hank John

How did people wake up on time in the morning before alarm clocks were invented? I know it can't just be roosters because one, not everybody has chickens, and two, I know from experience that roosters curl whenever the heck they want. Cockadoodle do, Kirsten. This is a really interesting question because it gets at something fascinating about history that we don't totally understand,

which is that life was vastly different before clocks. Like before the Industrial Revolution really standardized time and made it so that time was important because you clocked in and out of work at a certain time, our relationship with time was really, really different. Like, including that in the early modern period in Europe, people often woke up for like an hour in the middle of the night

and like said some prayers. That's often when intimate times happen. They had it like a lot of times they have a little snack. Yeah. Did some nighttime snack and clean up. I did that last night. I woke up at when the cat stepped on my face. I don't know what was going on with her.

I don't think that sheel Eggs are food right now. We got our new kind and she's been mean about it. And I was just like, you know, I'm not going back to sleep until I have a bunch of cheese. It's the situation. So I went downstairs and I fed the cat again and I ate myself and I felt like maybe, I felt pretty medieval, John.

Yeah, I mean, that was very early modern of you for sure. The other thing I will note is that, is that I wake up at the same time every morning because my son starts to yell. Yeah. And it seems like he's got a pretty good lock on what time it is, because he wakes up between 6.30 and 7.30 every morning.

And it's not that big of a deal for me, because I don't have anywhere to be before like eight or nine. So as long as he wakes up sometime in that period, I'm good. What if he's like one day's decided to sleep until 8.30 I would be in deep trouble. Yeah, that's the other thing to remember is that before alarm clocks, we didn't rely on roosters, we relied on babies, which were always around.

Right, and also like it wasn't like the space between your wall and the outside. It wasn't very good at dampening noises. So probably stuff started happening. Right. And you just woke up. Other people started getting up. That's how I feel.

You know, like at summer camp, you just got up because everybody was getting up. I got up at summer camp because there was a loud bugle that would go. I believe it was a bell. It was a bell. We had a bell at our summer camp. Well, at any rate, it's not like I woke up naturally.

I every, almost every morning of my life, I haven't woken up naturally. Like the mornings that I've woken up naturally are like early afternoons. I have woken up naturally, but not in a morning. No, yeah, that sounds familiar. I guess it's like when my friends and I like rent a VRBO out like near Yellowstone or something,

I get up because people get up. You know, like people are up and like bacon smells, start happening. And I think that like also like where were you going to be? Like if you're going to have an appointment with somebody, they didn't need to be like meet you at 230 at the coffee shop. They kind came by like your house slash farm area where you always were. Right. Unless it was a market day, you are always in the same place. People knew where to find you. So they didn't know, so they didn't need to

know when to find you. What I find fascinating is that when asked to imagine life before the Industrial Revolution, the closest Hank can come is getting a VRBO with some buds. It's also like, people don't call them VRBOs anymore, so everybody's confused. Yeah. People are like, wait, is that they're like going to UrbanDictionary.com and they also like, people don't call them VR videos anymore, so everybody's confused. Yeah, people are like, wait, is that they're like going to UrbanDictionary.com and they're like, oh, an Airbnb, I see, okay. Yeah, that was the nervous,

a little nervous like, what is Hank getting up to? I don't wanna know. It's okay. Well, I mean, he's waking up in the middle of the night to eat cheese, which I assume is some sort of euphemism, but I don't wanna know what for. Can I ask you a semi-related question? How can you change your cat's food, Hank, when your cat is 41 years old?

I mean, that cat has been through so much. That cat saw World War II for God's sakes, like let it have just a healthy old age where it has the comforts of familiarity. Uh, it wasn't, like, I, so I think that they changed the food. Who's the, uh, the, the cat food people. Oh, right. Like, Purina finally updated it. It's, it, they've sold the Purina from World War II up until this year and they were like, surely no cat has survived. They got a new fish supplier or something. Oh, okay. It's a food she's had before,

but she has decided that she doesn't like this particular flavor anymore. Okay, well. I think is this situ, it was very annoying. I did not sleep a ton last night because the cat was very active. How old is your cat? It's not, nobody knows.

We didn't get her as a kitten or anything, so she was already, she already had some years under her belt when we met her. But like, I remember that cat was at your house when you got married. Yes, that is true. So at least that long. I mean, I think she's probably like 13 or 14. No, lots of way older cats than Cam. No, she's not 14, Hank. You are condensing time in the way

that middle aged people do. This is not necessarily for the podcast, but I just want to establish how old your cat is because it is not 14. It's like 20. It's literally 20. No, Camille is not 20 years old. She's not that old.

You got the cat when you before you moved to Montana. No, got the cat in Montana. Mm. Got the cat in our second apartment in Montana. Mm. So you got the cat in 2004. I think we got the cat in 2005, maybe. Yeah.

Maybe 2004. You got the cat in 2004. The cat is not 13 years old. You got an adult cat in 2004. You got the cat in 2004, the cat is not 13 years old. You got an adult cat in 2004. That is not a 14 year old cat. That is an old ass cat. She's fine. Lots of people are gonna write to you on Twitter,

and you're not gonna see it because you're not on the social internet about how old cats are in their 20s. I mean, cameo is in her 50s. Camio, Camio might be the, Camio's like one of the oldest people alive. Okay, John, I'm not gonna argue about my cat anymore. Give me another question.

All right, Hank, having answered a question from a Kirsten, let's turn our attention to a question from a Kristen. Dear John and Hank, there's a girl in my school who asks me for gum one to two times per day And she's eaten so much of my gum now. Oh my god. How can I stop giving her gum without being mean? You need to become a gum dealer. Yeah, you just you just say listen Alice gum ain't free anymore. I'll still give you one to two pieces of gum per day, but it's 25 cents a stick.

It's 45 cents a stick, or you can buy a whole pack. That is store! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't understand. Yeah, I mean, there's a couple possibilities. I think the most likely thing, Kristen, is that this person really wants to be your friend and asking for gum is like the main strategy they've developed for talking to you. And so it's probably not really about the gum. Alternately, it is really about the gum, in which case, maybe you just need to give them

like a $10 bill and say here I got you six months worth of gum. I don't know how much gum costs these days. I'm old so I've never been really a gum chewer myself but maybe be like hey Alice it's your birthday right sometime this year. I got you a bunch of gum it It's yours now. Or, or Kristen, alternate strategy, become a tick-tack eater, and then you're just given only one tick-tack at a time. You can get a few hundred pieces of bubbleicious for 17 bucks. That seems inexpensive. Or you can explain to Alice that gum is made of rubber and you're stopping eating it, because it's weird. It's like a weird bike tire stuff

that you put in your mouth and nobody really understands what gum is even made out of and you're confused so you're stopping with the gum. No more gum for anybody. Three hundred sticks of polar ice sugar-free extra gum for $18. I think maybe you need to go on Amazon and buy a bunch of gum, which is I assume what John is looking at.

Oh, I'm at Walmart.com. I don't use Amazon anymore. I don't support that billionaire. I support different billionaires now. Yeah, a whole family. I've thrown in, I've thrown in my lot with third generation money. John, it's 2019.

I think Kristen needs to become a gum influencer. You need to look at your Instagram and say like, look, why am I not capitalizing on the market influence that I have as a gum influencer in this market of my school? Totally, and I'm already influencing this person, I know, to eat one to two pieces of gum per day. Like, think about the impact I could have

if I really up to my socials game. Right, so you are now, you're not like a lifestyle influence, you're not a travel vlogger, you are a gum, this is your one thing, it's what you do, and people will come to you for information on gums. You are, you could just say, I am gum now, I am gum. It's 2019, this is happening, it's gonna happen to everybody. We're all gonna become one product, and your life is gum. Yeah, I am Diet Dr. Pepper and Delta Airlines. Can I be two?

I am Meta Muscle and, you know, probably Squarespace, honestly. You literally have a financial relationship with Meta Muscle, which like, I wish that I could go back to like 10 and seven year old Hank and John and explain that situation. I think it would, I think 7 year old Hank would be so excited. I don't have a real like a strong brand affinity for them back then, but I'd be excited just

to know that I have a, you know, basically my weedies. Yeah, so now you are a chewing gum social media influencer. Congratulations. I'm so glad that we could help. This next question comes from Nicole who asks, Dear Hank and John. I recently went on a deep dive of old vlog brothers video, and now I'm very curious about the decision to make brothers on a hotel bed, the theme song for Brotherhood 2.0. It seems a bit odd to choose a song about a relationship falling apart to be a part of your project centered around making a relationship stronger. Are you guys big deathcap fans? Nicole. I like deathcap. Sure. Sure. I did not know that. So I thought that Hank had written the theme song to Brotherhood 2.0 until June of 2007 when I saw it

in comments. Yeah. I actually remember the first time I heard the song in question, and I was listening to it, and I was like, oh, I know. I've heard that. Yeah. So do you want to know the real truth story of how this happened, John?

Yeah, I want to know the real story of how you came to make the Brotherhood 2.0 intro, which famously talked about there being 365 days of textless communication. Yeah, well, I never fixed it. And honestly, I think that having that intro, like a 3D animated intro, kind of brought us a long way. People were like, oh, these guys are legit. They got an intro. Totally. Yeah.

It looked so sophisticated in 2007. Yeah, and it's like now it looks, it's all on 280p. So it looks real bad. So I went on, I believe not Napster, but something similar called Kaza, and I type in the word Brothers and I downloaded a few songs and then I found that one and I yep that's the whole thing and then later I listened to it and I was like this song is not

about brothers this song is about people who love each other in a different way, but I have made this choice and I will now live with it. I still love that theme song and it does take me right back to those early days of making YouTube videos and how fun and exciting and also exhausting it was to make a video every other day for a year. He was. So thank you for making that. I mean, we never would have had any success as YouTubers

if it hadn't been for you because every piece of even slightly sophisticated videography in Brotherhood 2.0 was 100% hand cream. I also wanna send a quick shout out to Deathcap for QD for not stealing, like taking down all of our content because we did steal your property. All right, Hank, let's answer another question. This one comes from Tat who writes,

Dear John and Hank, I really wanna be a good and smart person. I study hard, make sure I'm up to date on the news, look at things from multiple points of view, and try to do the best that will benefit the most people without harming others. But it feels like everyone just wants to see me as a try hard. I often get labeled teachers pet in the classes I succeed at, and it makes me want to participate less in that particular class, or isolate myself from the things I enjoy, just so others will like me. How do I get over my fear of being hated by other people for doing the things I love? And how do I know if I'm being pretentious or a know-it-all?

I'm afraid that people see me as the people I find annoying and they do too. A high school student, TAT. So Hank, I think being smart is mostly about listening. Mm-hmm. And a lot of times in school and elsewhere, we're told that being smart is mostly about talking and talking loudly and sounding like you know what you're talking about.

And I think boys are especially prone to this because they're told by the social order that that's how they establish themselves as smart and I don't think that's really what smart is. Yeah, I mean, I what smart is. Hmm. Yeah, I mean, I think smart is paying attention. Yeah, and I think that it can be also be very hard because of course, people are going to label themselves oppositional to each other and if you are behaving differently

and if you are trying hard and if you do care, people are gonna, like, there is a certain amount of, like especially in a high school age, like the cool thing is to not care. So there's also an element of that, that, like, right. It is good to care. Yeah, there's just something fascinating to be

about the fact that try hard has become an insult, and I know what people mean when they say try hard, but like, trying hard is great. Yeah, it's how everything gets, it's like, like it's the most useful thing that we can do. It is how things get done. Like if you were ever in a room wondering to yourself, like how did this building get built? It got built by trying hard. Yeah, bunch of try-hards.

Yeah, lots of try-hards. All the plumbing, bunch of try-hards. Yeah, not too much. A bunch of try-hards. All the plumbing, bunch of try-hards. The roads and the stuff. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. The try-harding involved in making an HVAC system work? Good.

God. Yeah, so it's hard to know exactly what the situation is here. But I do think that part of being liked is paying attention to what people, like the feedback that people are giving to you. And I'm not saying that it's bad to want to be liked. I also want that, and it has influenced me greatly over the years. I also found though that especially in middle and high school, I wasn't like, it wasn't

a thing that I could, like I I wasn't gonna be liked by everybody. And it took me a really long time to get over that and accept it. And then my school is large enough that eventually, once I realized that, I just faded into the groups that I cared about and disappeared from the others. Yeah, that's the thing I would say about middle school and high school is that they end.

You know, like it was not the best years of my life by any stretch of the imagination. I had a lot of good times in high school. I also had a lot of really difficult times, but it ends. And you go on and life changes and you do other things and you learn and you grow up and it'll be okay. I know that that's like pretty cold comfort because knowing that something will get better does not really alleviate the misery of now, but it is temporary.

John, I got a question from Meg that I'd like to get to. Meg asks, dear Hank and John, this week is my one-year work anniversary. My supervisor emailed me saying that she would like to take me out to dinner or coffee to celebrate and say thanks, with the location being up to me. I would like to do this because I quite like my supervisor and I appreciate the gesture, but I don't know where or what would be appropriate to choose, would it be weird to pick like my favorite sit-down restaurant and force my supervisor to share an hour long meal with me

or do I just pick a coffee shop and save the company some money? Fahidas and lattes, Meg, that is super weird. I agree that this is weird. You don't say coffee or dinner. You say one of those two things. Because- Yeah, but I think the solution to the problem

is that Meg needs to be like, I'd love to have dinner on this day at this time, at this place. And if that doesn't work for whatever reason, coffee would be great too. I'm free Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Right. So you basically throw it back, and you make it your supervisor's problem, which by the way, it should be in the first place. Yes, yes, very good. I like that a lot.

And my solution would be go for coffee because I feel like sit down dinners too much pressure for me. So if you feel like sit down's too much pressure, absolutely just go for coffee. Ugh, I don't know that I would, like I'm just imagining all of the bosses that I've had in my life and, like, an hour long. Two people in a place where some people are dating. That's too weird. Yeah, I can't remember the last time I went to dinner with one person who wasn't my spouse. It was a while ago.

Was it Sarah before you got married to her? No, no, it was probably like one of my old roommates or something. Yeah, now that I think about it, maybe coffee's good. Hahaha. Yeah, I mean, you know your relationship better than I do, but for all the supervisors out there, don't leave it that open. No. Coffee and dinner are two very different things.

Yeah. Coffee or dinner, not both. All right, this next question comes from Nicole who writes, do you wanna make? Is it appropriate to say you too to flight attendants when they say enjoy your flight? They're working the flight, but I still want them to enjoy it. Obviously, the best thing to say is thank you. But does it apply to the situation? Nicole. Yeah, because if one, the flight attendants job, like the thing that they want, like their job is to like help you have an enjoyable flight. You know, they're not and safe, mostly safe. Whereas, they're there to not and necessarily enjoy themselves.

But maybe what you should say is instead of like, I hope you have a good flight. It's like, I hope you have a good group of passengers. I hope that we are also good to you. Maybe, I think it's fine to just say you too. I don't think you have to go that deep with them because they've got a lot of passengers to say have a good flight too.

I'm not sure you need to look at them and say, like, I hope we're a good group of passengers because almost that's kind of threatening. It's like, it's like, boy, if I know this group of people based on hanging out with them at Gate A7, you're in for a hell of a time. Yeah, we've gotten close over the last, it's been an event.

I mean, no, I think the reason I think you can say you too, is that flight attendants have good and bad flights, right? Like there are flights where flight attendants are like, wow, I wish that these nine guys on a golf trip weren't so drunk. Yeah, so everybody wants to have a good fight. You could also just say thanks. I, because of the awkwardness of the U2,

particularly saying it to people at movie theaters, who tell me to enjoy the movie, I have stopped saying it completely. I just say thank you to everyone in all circumstances. I never you too anymore. Yeah, you too is very dangerous. I often do it at the airport, but not right to a flight attendant.

So all the gate agent, the server, at the restaurant or whatever, will be like, have a good flight. Oh, you ding it, you too. Dang it. Oh, they're doing it on purpose. And I feel like I have to tip more to try to make up for it. And of course, like I understand that in the mind of the server,

like that is not a big deal. Like they're not like, oh, no, it turns out I'm not going on a flight to Des Moines. Instead, I'm going to go home to my family at the end of the day. It's such a bummer. I can't believe you reminded me of that by you two and me in an inappropriate situation. But I still feel terribly guilty about it every time I do it. Well, that's silly, John. Stop that.

No, I think I know the reason I feel guilty. Okay. I think it's because when you you two someone inappropriately, it means you weren't actually listening to what they said. Yeah. No, that is exactly why. Good point. I feel guilty when I don't listen to you.

So maybe we should all listen to each other. That's, I don't know. Do we have, do we have the resources to do that? No, that's too hard. Just you two in every situation, Nicole. Just people, people will be like, hey, watch out for that brick, you two. You two.

Lady, there's a piano about to follow on you. You too, buddy. What else do people say to people? What is a situation where someone would say, lady, watch out for that brick? I can't even, I don't think that's ever happened. I was trying to imagine it. I thought maybe it was on the ground, like it'd fall on out and they didn't

weigh your trip over it. That was my first thought. Actually, my first thought was that it was sticking out of a wall and fall out and they didn't weigh your trip over it. That was my first thought. Actually, my first thought was that it was sticking out of a wall and that you didn't want to hit your head on it. But that didn't make sense because bricks aren't very long. So then I went to the ground. It reminds me of when I fell into a reflecting pool at the Olympic Museum in Los Angeles, Switzerland

many, many years ago when I was in high school. And there was a woman screaming at me very loudly, a tauntzion, a tauntzion, a tauntzion, as I walked, you know, just kind of looking into the middle distance as I like to do and then eventually fell into this reflecting pool. Uh-huh. And I remember thinking, gosh, that person is so concerned

about someone, but it can't possibly be me because she is speaking French. You're just like, you too? Oh man, it took the rest of high school to live down the fog into that reflecting pool. No, I mean, it sounds like at least you got to, at least you got to go to a place where there were fancy reflecting pools. Today's podcast is also, of course, brought to you by Deathcap for QD, Deathcap for QD.

Thanks from the Vlog Brothers. This podcast, additionally, is brought to you by Your Life Is GUM! A new Instagram account, and with this all gum, all the time, every gum, we gotta tell you, it's like gum connoisseur. And today's podcast is also brought to you by the Medieval VRBO, the Medieval VRBO, just wake up whenever it feels right. All right, Hank, this question comes from Brooklyn, who writes, dear John and Hank, help!

I recently decided to start dating someone, and that decision process consisted of many steps, including a pros and cons list. My problem is that the person I'm dating found the list, and they're very upset that I would make a list to decide. How do I tell them that I make pros and cons list for everything, like deciding my snack choices? So making a list for them isn't an insult.

A pros and cons list would be appreciated Brooklyn. I think it's like, well, it's on the cons list that they got to see and also why didn't you immediately burn it? Right. Brooklyn, the issue is not, I suspect, the fact that you made a list. It's the fact that this person now knows their cons. I mean, maybe the cons weren't, like, person specific. Maybe they were just like, I'm very busy.

I want to have enough time for my swim recites. Oh, right, right, right, that would be better. I actually have some experience with this Hank because recently Sarah and I were like redoing all of our old papers and going through things and figuring out what needs to be stored where. And we found a list that Sarah wrote, like a month before we started dating,

that was like, it was called like 63 things I want in a man. Really? Is that actually exist in canopy of like a published work? I would love to read this. Yes, and absolutely not. But the amazing thing about the list, there were a few times where I was like, okay, yeah, that describes me,

but there were many, many times when I was like, I do not know that guy. That is not me. Not familiar. I'm a hard-know on washboard abs. Oh, is that on my list? Washboard abs? No, no, I'm not familiar. I'm a hard-known washboard abs. Oh, is that on the list? Washboard abs? No, no, I'm not.

I honestly, like, I don't think Sarah would like me saying anything about the list. Ha-ha-ha. Including probably that it exists. Do you think that the list has changed? Uh, well, I mean, I hope so. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.

Yeah. Here's the thing, Brooklyn. It's an awkward moment because the person that you're dating doesn't want to encounter the reality that like you're on the fence about them. It makes them feel like you might be on the fence about them now and that makes them feel uncomfortable and probably a little bit intimidated and insecure in everything. But I think that that's also part of like growing together

is understanding like, well, this is who I am. This is how I make decisions. And like I had to think hard about this because it is a big decision for me. And so I made a little bit of a list. And as you can see from the list, there were a lot of pros. Yeah, it turned out, it turned out I wanted to do this thing.

And I, but I, I agree that this might lead to some insecurity and so to, instead of like trying to explain away the existence of like the list and that this is something that you always do, it might be like confront the problem that it created and try and build more security in the relationship by giving that person opportunity just to see the reasons why you like them and you're happy that you are doing stuff together and having a good time. That's lovely, Hank.

I agree. This next question comes from Darcy who writes Dear John and Hank, the 2020 presidential campaign has barely just begun. Has it begun? Yeah, if you're on Twitter, I'm already feeling really burnt out. Even with just a few weeks of candidates announcing races, I already feel like I can't do this all again. There's just so much to read and know that I can't possibly be an expert or even a mostly informed citizen. Darcy, I'm gonna stop you right there.

There is no reason for you to have an opinion on who should be elected president, 750 days before the presidential election. Yeah, that's probably, yes, yes, yes. We are not involved in this process yet. Because you don't need to have an opinion. The only thing that's happening is that news people are like, news, is that news?

Is that news? Quick. Well, people click on this that will allow us to have the advertising revenue that we need in order to send reporters to places where actual news is happening. Yes, you don't need to have an opinion on who should be elected president in 800 days. I think it's more than 750 days away. But the other thing I want to say Darcy is that I remember after having gone through the first election where it did not go as I wanted and then the next one was coming up and I realized that I was experiencing dread and it was bad emotion and I did not want to engage with it.

And that has somewhat tempered over the years. Now that I voted in a lot of elections and also realized that this isn't just about one thing on the ballot, there are lots of things to vote for that all matter and some of them are gonna go ways that I want and some of them are gonna go ways I don't want. That helps me, but also,

I'm not gonna know about a lot of those things for at least another year. The people running for governor in my state and mayor in my town and the ballot measures are not going to be in for a long, long time. The circus around the presidential election really does feel like this is somewhat like manufactured drama and I don't like that about it. And I feel like it makes it worse, like it makes us worse at making the decisions and it makes us want to engage with us with it less ultimately unless we're like people who really love this. It's like horse race stuff. So you. So you can feel perfectly happy not following everything going on with this right now,

but I also know that it will be a scary time for a lot of people in 2020, and that we will need people who are paying attention and who care, and having that mix of like, I care about this and I wanna work on this and I wanna do my this and I wanna make, like do my best to have a good outcome, while also trying to take care of ourselves

and not tie our ability to function up in that is difficult. And is it a balance that we each have to find on our own, but really isn't something that we should be convincing ourselves is worth sacrificing our health over. Certainly not when we are worshiping at the altar of a single election in a democracy with thousands of elected offices. It's so important not to think that American democracy is about one elected office. And I worry that with the horse racification of the presidential elections so that it's all we talk about and all we think about and

who are going to be the candidate. All that stuff. I agree with you that it makes it all worse. Like, in the UK, they have elections that last like eight weeks and things are fine. I mean, not they're not fine, but the problem is not an is is not with the election system. Like this way of approaching it is just stupid. So I think you're well off not just not engaging yet. It's very frustrating to see. And like the people,

I think a lot of the people in media are, they are so caught up in it. And really it has somewhat more to do with like how caught up they get in it than it has to do with how much people actually care. Because of course when you live and breathe it all day long, like then you think that what you're doing is the most important thing in the world and that like that people will care, but people don't need to be caring right now. No, not yet. Something I think that we need to figure out in our society right now. This next question comes from Francis, John, who asks,

I listen to both this podcast and the Anthropocene Reviewed. John seems so goofy and carefree on dear Hank and John, okay, if you say so. But on the Anthropocene Review. I mean, I don't think I'm that goofy. Yeah, on the Anthropocene Reviewed, he seems so serious and almost sad. How do you have such polar opposite attitudes?

Is that hard? Not the Pope, but still, Francis. Yeah, no, it's not really hard. I feel like both of them are me. With the Anthropocene review, I'm trying really hard to pay careful attention to something. And I hope that the Anthropocene review is funny. People tell me it's funny. It's not only funny, of course.

But yeah, I'm just trying hard to pay attention and to be really careful in my thoughts. Whereas here, I'm not trying as hard to be careful. Yes, I think that you do a good job of being careful here as well. But it's definitely more conversational. Also, I've just never heard anyone refer to you as goofy and carefree, so I'm just, I love it. I'm reveling in my new goofy carefree

partner. I feel like maybe Francis is mistaking you for me. Yeah, maybe that is the situation. Yeah, I don't know. My kids would say that I'm goofy. Like, I'm definitely the goofiest member of my family, but I, yeah, when I think hard about stuff, I'm not when I think hard about stuff, I'm not, I don't, yeah, goofiness is not. It just doesn't come naturally to me. Yeah, no, I think that makes sense. Also, you sound like that.

Like the noise you just made, all of those noises, right, it doesn't necessarily mean itself to the goof. And that's fine. No, that's why you gotta feel that. No, yeah, I've got, I've got an instrument that, yeah, tends to sound pretty serious. To be fair though, I feel serious. It reminds me of when Terry Gross asked me not to brag.

That sounds like brag. But whatever. It's true. It's true she did it in a new way. I did not know who Terry Gross was before you got all freaked out that you were going to be on fresh air. All right. Well, it's like when Terry Gross asked me, why do you write so much about death? And I was like, because it's important.

It's a big deal. Why do you think about serious stuff because it matters? But at the same time, that doesn't, in any way way negate the joy in the world or the miraculousness of human consciousness or the wonder that I feel when I look at everything. So hopefully all of that is captured a little bit in the Anthropocene Reviewed, although you know some of them are definitely very sad and yeah the one that I just recorded I was listening to and I was like oh my god. The one that I just recorded, I was listening to and I was like, oh my god. Hey. Anyway, the Anthropocene Review is available now.

You probably gon' cry. This next question comes from Marco. Dear Hank and John, at what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? In the latest episode of Tangents, oh, SciShow Tangents, another new podcast for you to listen to, Sam briefly mentioned that a flying fish can actually fly surprisingly far, and that got me wondering. Pumpkins and penguins, Marco. There's so many things that swim that are not fish and so many things that fly, that are not birds.

It's true. It's amazing, honestly. Yeah, it's almost like our taxonomical categories don't actually apply to the natural world and we're instead trying to like shove them in. No, that's the opposite of the situation, John. It's almost as if our taxonomical categories are more about lineage than about functionality.

And they used to not be that way. They used to be all about like, well, these two things fly, so they're in the same category. And then we, like, and they just completely remade everything. He was like, no, no, no, no, no. These things have similar body morphologies. They have similar skeletons. They have similar, you know, like body layouts.

And that's the thing that makes them related to each other rather than, rather than like, do they sort of operate and fill in a similar ecological niche? Interesting. Well, there you go. I didn't know that this answer was going to be serious, but it is. Who's not goofy now?

And I also, I will point out to Marco that birds can also swim. Like penguins are basically, like, amazing swimmers. They're much better at swimming than they are at, for example, flying. By the way, Hank earlier, when referring to Leneas, was referring to Carl Leneas. Correct. The Swedish person who came up with all kingdom phylum, etc. That stuff, yes. I believe that is the technical term for it, Kingdom, Phylum, etc.

Yeah, it taxonomy. Modern taxonomy. All right, Hank, before we get to the news from Mars and AFC, Wimbleden, I have to read a response about one of the most contentious things that we've talked about in months on Dear Hank and John. This letter comes from Anna, who writes, Dear John and Hank, in episode 174,

Hank said the term hundo instead of 100, and John made fun of him for it. As a 21-year-old in college, I would just like to say that I use this phrase at least five times a day to agree with someone, i.e. 100%, and as a cashier, my co-workers and I say, hundo piece instead of a hundred dollar bill,

perhaps too often, I would say definitely too often, Anna. This is a very real thing among kids these days, pumpkins and penguins, Anna. Anna, I'd like to respond before Hank can get in. Okay. I just watched a show on TBS that's like also on YouTube because it's 2019 and they're making 700 scripted television shows at the same time.

And in this show, Steve Buscemi plays God, and there is a recurring bit in which Steve Buscemi playing God uses Hundo in a way that embarrasses everyone around Steve Buscemi who is God. It's a whole bit. Oh my gosh. There's a whole bit because while it is true, Anna, that young people are saying Hundo and you're 100, Hundo percent right. It's still cringey for middle aged people to do it, and that's what I was making fun of. So you can say Hundo all day long, Hank can never say it again. The point is, yes, it's a very real thing among kids these days. I am not kids these days.

You cannot, Hank, you cannot say it. Don't, you can never say it again. And I didn't just say that. I said, Hondo P. You said Hondo P, which I think is what Steve Bouchemi as God says in the show, where they're making fun of. I assume they're making fun of him, is a little hard to tell the exact take that the show has.

Right. But you aren't a huge fan of Steve Bouchemy saying, hundo, P, look, you can say hundo. Anybody can say hundo, but it's gonna be a little embarrassing when a 38-year-old man does it. Yes, correct. All right, Hank, let's get to the news from AFC

Wimbledon. America's favorite third tier Inquisokr team. I'm going to say that while I still can. AFC Wimbledon lost two nil to Burton Albion goals in the 14th minute and 57th minute. It was, it didn't ever look like we were going to win that game. Burton had most of the possession. They had twice as many shots as we did and five times as many shots on target. Despite the fact that they are in 12th place in League 1, the kind of team that we need to beat in order to stay up in League one. At this point, we probably need 10 wins from our last 15 games,

which would be the form of the best team in league one, which we are not. So yeah, I mean, we are nine points away from being in second to last place. At this point, it's gone from being likely that AFC Wimbledon will be relegated to the fourth year of English football to almost certain. And that's heartbreaking. Heartbreaking for so many Wimbledon fans who've been through such a tough season. The bright point of this season has been the shock FA Cup run.

And the bright point of this season has been the shock FA Cup run. As this is being recorded, we don't know what happened in the game against Millwall, but as you're listening, you will know. So hopefully there was another miracle, but only time will tell. You know, probably not. Oh, man. Probably not. I'm on a website for my Mars news right now and they just had an advertisement for Meatball subs and that was very distracting. I am in great

need of a Meatball sub now. I'm really surprised. People say advertising doesn't work, but thanks about to go to Subway. So, John, the European Space Agency is working on what's called their ExoMars program right now. ExoMars has several different components. There is already the trace gas orbiter that is orbiting the planet right now and is also going to be a relay between a rover that will land. I will not talk too much about the lander that crashed into the planet, but that happened as well

as part of this mission. Raw, the new rover has just gotten a name. It's gonna be launched in 2020, in land in 2020 and 2021, and its mission is specifically to look for signs of life or extinct life. A lot of planetary science on Mars has been based on doing geology, like actual planetary science, like figuring out how planets formed, what these things are made of, how geology

works on other worlds. And with a little bit of a sort of, probably not, like, engage too much with the life question because that's such a big thing. And also, if we start to get answers, it's going to lead to way more questions than we will ever be able to answer without having probably either sample return, like taking pieces of Mars and returning it to us or just people on the planet to do science. Like, and it would probably require some pretty large scale sample return.

But they did just name it, and it's gonna be called Rosalind the Rover after Rosalind Franklin, the British scientist who was instrumental in the discovery of DNA's structure. So that's a good name for a rover that's going to be examining whether there is life-like stuff. Rosalind Franklin, of course, died at the age of 37 of ovarian cancer, possibly due to her work with x-ray crystallography, which does have ionizing radiation involved in it.

And for a long time, did not get credit for her work partially because she was a woman, partially because the people involved were pretty, some of the people were explicitly sexist and did not want to give for that credit. And partially because she died before the Nobel Prize was awarded in that award cannot be awarded posthumously. So all those things were part of, you know, Rosalind Franklin not getting, like part of the legacy of the discovery of the structure of DNA,

which was one of the largest, most amazing moments in the history of science total. And now she's getting her Mars rover, which is amazing. That is really cool. I've been reading a biography of Rosalind Franklin, fascinating person with a fascinating life, which I read after I read the very brief, but really interesting book by I can't remember if it was Watson or Crick about the discovery of the structure of DNA and very interesting to read Rosalind Franklin's biography in the context of that book. But I'm really happy that that the rover is going to be named Rosalind. Yeah, me too. And I'm excited to have another rover on the red planet.

It's going to be so much science getting done. And I just, the European Space Agency this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this.

I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be for parting with me and thanks to everybody for listening. If you wanna send us your questions, please do that. You can send them to Hank and John at gmail.com. We really appreciate everybody for sending them in. Sorry, we cannot get to everybody's, but we do love them so much.

This podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins. It's produced by Rosie on a Halsey Rollhassen, Sheridan Gibson. Our head of community and communications is Victoria Bon Giorno. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome.