Dear Hank & John - 201: Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln 2020

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? How can I not be a sobbing mess on my wedding day? Should I make a new ring for my dad? What should I do when I'm not sure if I know someone? Hank and John have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail]. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and Jon. Who's up for Thinkorod Dear Jon and Hank? It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you Duby's advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and ASC Umbled and Jon. Yeah. I'm starting up a new band. I'm really excited about it.

It's called 999 Megabytes. Uh-huh. We are really good, I think. I think we're really great, but we still haven't gotten a single gig. I was able to see that one coming around the corner, which made it a little less unbearable than most of them. Hank, would you like to know what I would have tweeted this week? Uh-huh.

I would have tweeted, here's the teaser trailer for the Looking for Alaska Hulu Show, which comes out on October 18th You can binge it everywhere except it just on who I everywhere. I mean on who in America I I watched that and I tweeted about it myself. So I did I represented Oh, thank you. I really appreciate it when you take over the self-promote duties for me I know that like my publisher sometimes emails you and asks you to tweet about my work. And you being cool about that is deeply appreciated.

Well, I just happened to come across it. It was on my timeline. And it had already lots of love. It had like 12,000 likes or something. And I was like, look at this. It's happening. Without any of us needing to pay attention to it. Yeah. 12,000 likes. That sounds like a lot of likes. I have no idea if that's good or bad in 2019 Twitter.

And now are people still using that platform? I don't know if anybody has heard, but John is an on Twitter. I'm not. And I'm, I'm not going back. John, I have an idea for a new segment that I want to do today. The great as people who follow me on Twitter might have heard, you hit me with a business idea recently and it made me question reality. Not in the way that this idea is so good

that I'm questioning reality, but in the way that you think this idea is so good and I don't, so there must be something wrong with me because I'm not excited about a business idea and that's my brand. Yeah, I would submit that your brand is actually being excited about your own business ideas. It might be true. I think that I think actually if you'd come up with the exact same business idea that

I proposed to you, you would have thought it was amazing. That's interesting. That's an interesting thought. Well, maybe our segment that will come along later today will give us more insight into that quirk of my brain. We will see. You're not going to tell me the segment, I'm just going to have to wait. You're just going to have to wait.

Okay. Can I tell you my favorite t-shirt that I've seen in the last six months? That sounds like a great segment. Just John's favorite t-shirts. Can I tell you the two t-shirts I've seen in the last six months that I loved the most. Both of these T-shirts have made me think really, really hard about my life and my priorities and my values. One of them was actually inside a glass case in the Indiana State Museum. The Indiana State Museum is a fascinating place. Yeah. Because the great thing about the Indiana State Museum

is they tell the whole history of all of the earth like going back, you know, like 800 million years, but only in the land that is currently Indiana. So it is exclusively concerned with what happened 400 million years ago in what is now Indiana. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Why not? It's good to have limitations. with what happened 400 million years ago in what is now in Deanna. That's why not. It's good to have limitations.

You have to focus. Exactly. So I went there with Philip from Curth Gazette and we saw a t-shirt that blew both of our minds behind a glass case that just said, by reading this, you have given me brief control of your mind. Oh yeah.

Which is essentially like a summary of the entire internet and our information feeds in general. But also humanity. That's everything. That's what just by listening to this podcast, you've given me a piece of your, and I appreciate it. Thank you to all the people listening who have made that decision, and I hope that it is mutually

to beneficial. Can I tell you the other great t-shirt I've seen in the last few months? First, I want to know when this when was this shirt from? I have no idea. It's like shirts with like slogans on the mark that old. Yeah, no. I mean, it appeared to be relatively recent. As I said, the Indiana State Museum tells the whole history from 800 million years ago to like a couple weeks ago when the curator saw a t-shirt they liked. But anyway, the other t-shirt I saw that I just absolutely loved. I couldn't believe how beautiful and brilliant it was. It was a t-shirt that said, in large block letters, I work hard so I can give my Yorkie a better life.

Oh, that's where we're at. That's where we're gotten to. I love that that person loved their Yorkies so much. Yeah, I mean, we're all looking for meaning, John. And sometimes it's in the size of a teacup, and but it's a dog. Speaking of looking for meaning, there's one question this week, Hank,

that was overwhelmingly the question that needed answering the most. This is the tooth brushing one? No, although that one did seem like a strange crisis. And it was full of mystery. No. No. No.

Okay. The one we have to get to first is this one from Joseph. We write Steer John and Hank. If the giant stone statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln memorial were to suddenly come alive and say that he wants to be able to run for president and fix America, would he constitutionally be allowed to? I recently visited Washington DC and this question has been haunting me ever since. Dones and sorcery, Joseph. Joseph, I think we've run up

because a couple of potential problems. Just strongly disagree. I think it's fair to say that giant stone Abraham Lincoln was born in America. Yep. So that, like, I think that giant stone Abraham Lincoln is a citizen. I don't, like, there's nothing in the rules

that you have to be like a flesh and blood human being, right? Right, no, you have to be a person. I don't think, because I'm pretty sure, if I remember the citizens United Supreme Court decision correctly, I'm pretty sure it's already been declared that you can be a non-human person if, for instance, you are Google. Yeah, no, but I don't think that you can be a non-human person. If for instance, you are Google. Yeah, no, but I don't think that Google can run for president. Oh, I think

that it could totally run for president. Yeah, no, it would be a five to four Supreme Court decision, but it would, it would get through. I think there is definitely self-awareness and sentience and like, that's all happening. And we need to like just all agree that giant stone Abraham Lincoln is a person. And a natural born citizen of the United States and over the age of 35. Air girl. No, no, no, no, no, no, in no way is giant stone Abraham Lincoln over the age of 35. In an awful way.

In an awful way. Born, you are not born. The moment your statue was carved, you are not born. The moment your likenesses existing flesh body was born. No, giant stone Abraham Lincoln is born the moment he is imbued with consciousness. And so we need to have 35 years during which giant stone Abraham Lincoln campaigns for president. And he does it very carefully and thoughtfully. And he has to get updated on a lot of stuff, right?

That's true. I wouldn't want giant stone. He's coming into the world with like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't mean to stop you, Hank. But if he has to get updated on a lot of stuff, that implies that giant stone Abraham Lincoln remembers what it was like to be the original Abraham Lincoln. And if that's the case, he is over 35 and he can be president tomorrow. I, you're imagining a situation in which giant stone Abraham Lincoln comes to life stands up off of that gigantic marble chair and says Google Gaga and like and needs diapers and like has has to have full time care until like the age of 11 or 12 at which point giant stone

Abraham Lincoln becomes like semi independent. It's right. Giant stone Abraham Lincoln has to go to college. No, John Abraham Lincoln has to go to Elements is Abraham Lincoln. No, I think it's very important that Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln go through the entire process of being a child in America today. And so Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln has to go to elementary school. And they have to build a special Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln elementary school to fit him in. There's no way, Hank, that America can make it to 2058 waiting for

giant stone Abraham Lincoln to come of age. When he can lead us back to an inclusive, loving, the country that that we know we can be is right around the corner if giant stone Abraham Lincoln can will lead us there. And you're proposing to put him in elementary school. That's ludicrous. Okay, I'm just saying, John, I haven't read the short story in which this all happens yet, but I'm really looking forward to it. In my version of the short story, giant Stone Abraham Lincoln wakes up and is a baby.

He's a giant baby and he has to be taken care of. I mean, that is the word, narratively. That is the worst. Right, well, that's the thing. It's a twist. Do you think, oh, we're all saved, but then he's just, then he's just like, eh!

All right, well, eh! Yeah. You're better at plotting than I am, so I'm just gonna assume that that's the correct answer, even though it strikes me as utter hogwash. Regardless, I look forward to the day whenever it comes when Abraham Lincoln returns to take back what is rightfully his.

Wait, what about term limits? So if it's your version, and Giants don't Abraham Lincoln is just an extension of existing Abraham Lincoln, he can't be president because he's already been president. Well, he, I would argue he didn't get to serve out the full second term. That's so maybe we could make an exception. That's the thing. That's a good point. I'm glad that that's where we started today, John.

I do for some reason and somehow I feel a little bit better after having answered that question. Yeah. I think we're going to be fine. Maybe there is hope. We just need John Stone Abraham Lincoln to come and remind us that it's not necessary to have a 480 day presidential election season. That's not a season80 day presidential election season. That's not a season. It's many years. But what if John Stone Abraham Lincoln has a 35 year presidential election season

where he just talks to people? He's on a listening tour. Yeah, he's on a listening tour. That sounds nice. I think probably the biggest surprise for John Stone Abraham Lincoln, it would definitely be weird to be like suddenly back to life when you died in 1865.

But I think the weirdest thing would be being giant in stone. No, no, no. It wouldn't be that you're giant in stone. It wouldn't be like cars or airplanes or antibiotics or any of that. I think the weirdest thing would be like trying to explain how Rand Paul got elected to the Senate. I bet there was a weird election stories for Abe's Senate colleagues as well, Joe. Oh, sure. Yeah. No. One of them almost got beaten to death on the floor of the flipping Congress by a cane. And then the guy who almost beat the other guy to

death got reelected. Well, America was always bonkers. Let's move on. America put that on a t-shirt. This next question comes from Courtney, who asks, Dear Hank and John, I recently purchased a VIP ticket to the Minotaur in Minnesota in August.

Thank you, Courtney. I'm really excited to see you. I'm coming from Michigan and none of my real life friends are nerd fighters, not for lack of trying, so I'm flying so low. I feel a bit uncomfortable about it, but I didn't want to pass up the opportunity. How do I appear to be not a weirdo to the people I'm sitting next to? What are some good conversation starters? Any other tips

or tricks for going to a show solo? Looking forward to it, sincerely, Courtney. First off, Courtney, thank you. Hank, we will be in Madison and Minneapolis on respectively August 16th and August 18th. People can get tickets at Hank and John.com. All the proceeds from the tour will go to support our efforts to reduce maternal mortality in Sierra Leone. We're really excited about this little tour. And if it works, we'll be doing more of them in other cities. So please come see us in Madison and or Minneapolis and Courtney thank you for doing

it solo because it's hard to do things and it's even harder to do them by yourself. Yeah, absolutely true. I have been to show solo and I have to say in my experience doing that I don't tend to come out of it having had lots of conversations. So one, I think it's fine to go to the thing without the expectation of like having a chat. Right. Also, I think it's like totally not weird to see someone who's come by themselves to an event like this. No. So like, that is very normal and I do that all the time. I would imagine like 30 or 40% of people will be there by themselves.

Yeah. So I don't think that you will feel weird in that sense. Like I don't think that it will be unusual. As far as like having conversations in the like run up to the show or after the show, my strategy is usually to let that stuff happen organically because if I over prepare and I have a bad habit of doing this, if I over prepare like topics for potential conversation, that's when people are like, wow, you really are ready for this conversation.

I like to. But if you just let it happen or not happen, then that tends to work better for me personally, but I know everybody's different. And then, you know, the main thing of the show, hopefully, is that the show will hopefully be amazing. So yeah, so it's really our job to entertain you. And then after the show, the ideal topic of conversation will be, didn't Hank and John do a reasonably good job

of entertaining us during that show? That is really mostly what I want to hear. And I try to, I like to have like pretty honest, like, how did it go? Was it good? Any actual feedback you'd like to give me? What parts were bad? What parts were good? Also, so I have a thought, and I'm interested in your thought on this thought, John. I have seen, and I think it's a good idea to have a book. So if you're looking at your phone, especially if you have headphones in, but if you're looking at your phone, it feels weirder to interrupt somebody on their phone to me.

And I'm curious about this. Then it does to interrupt someone who's reading a book. And also, the book can be an invite to have you also read this book. Maybe we could talk about this book. Maybe you want to bring a John or Hank Green book. And so people be like, oh, that's the book. How's the book? Do you like the book? I you want to bring a John or Hank Green book, and so people will be like, oh, that's the book. How's the book?

Do you like the book? I haven't read the book or I have. And so it's like an invite to a conversation. Yes. Signal. That's a great idea. And you can also do that with a pizza John shirt. Like there are various ways that you can sort of in,

like kind of express that you have a conversation starter, visible for the people. But I like the book idea, especially if it's one of my books, in hard times. Especially if you don't own it yet and want to go by one. Or you feel like you need a second copy just because, you know, you're traveling with it. You don't want to, I'm just kidding.

I don't care. I think you're going. Bye, Hank's book. He needs the money. Oh! Ha! This next question comes from Catherine, dear Hank and John. I'm a big fan of art, and I love supporting artists when I can.

A little while after getting my first job, I started buying some art prints, because I've always wanted to decorate my walls, and now that I have like eight unframed prints, I realize that framing is a whole thing. Most of my art prints are weird sizes, so I'd have to get custom frames. And every time I look at the prices, they're significantly more expensive than the art itself.

I bought the art because they brought me joy, but now when I see them laying around, without a frame, I just get sad and stressed. Somehow bougie enough for art, but not bougie enough for frames, Catherine. This is, no one told me this, but I am 100% on board with you, Catherine. This is, no one told me this, but I am 100% on board with you, Catherine. The whole thing, I've been shocked.

I don't know how to handle it, except to buy art that is the size of the pre-made frames. No, framing is expensive because framing is itself an art, and framing is incredibly... It's labor, absolutely. It's not easy, it's not cheap. It requires a lot of expertise. And so it's expensive.

Like a lot of other things that require a lot of expertise. Here's my take on it. Unless it is art that you feel a responsibility to conserve. And it sounds like you're buying prints. So you're buying things that come out in like pretty large additions. Mm-hmm. Take a thumbtack and put it on the wall.

Because it's not there for you to try to like conserve it for some imaginary forever. It's there for you to look at and enjoy. Right. And so put it on the wall. And if you can afford a frame, I think frames just help me look at art better. Like, you know, there's a reason for the cliche about framing the conversation or framing the narrative or whatever, which is that frames are great and they're super useful and they help us to frame the art. But you don't need a frame for every work of art that you own.

Like, we have, I think, like a fairly nice house and nice artwork and everything, but you don't need a frame for every work of art that you own. Like, we have, I think, like, a fairly nice house and nice artwork and everything, but there's a lot of stuff in our house that's just up against the wall, no frame, because we want to look at it. I also have little tips. One is that you can get, and this isn't going to work for every piece of art, but you can get a frame that's pre-made and then you get a custom mat. Yeah. So if you get the frame that's bigger than your art and then you have like, go and you say, like, can you get a mat that will fit this art into this frame?

That's much less expensive than getting a whole frame. The other thing that we have done is bought art that is the size of frames that are available. is bought art that is the size of frames that are available. And that is a horrible reason to buy a piece of art, but we're not gonna, I can't, I honestly, I can't engage with you on this question anymore. Like you should buy art that you love and you should never, ever, ever think about its size, except if you are thinking,

is this too big to go into my house? Can I fit it through the door? That's the only reason. It's like when people are on house-hunters or whatever and they go into a bedroom and they always are like, I don't know if this could fit our furniture. All right, Hank, I want to return to a land of make-believe and ask this question from Liz. You're right, Steer-Channin try to make Elsa can make ice with her powers?

I believe this is referring to Elsa from Frozen. Seems likely. I don't know if you've seen the film. I have, it's good. You haven't seen it as many times as I have. I'm sure that's true. If she were to go to the polls and just make all of that melted ice frozen again,

would that solve climate change or would that just further mess up the environment? Not a lizard, Liz. I mean thermodynamically, there has to be some place that the heat is going when Elsa turns stuff to ice. I don't know where that is. It might just be inside of her. She has a very dense piece of neutron star somewhere deep in her chest cavity where she stores all of the heat. Oh man, I can't wait for them to explore that in Frozen 2. where she stores all of the heat. Oh, man, I can't wait for them to explore that in Frozen 2. So it might be that.

I think the more important question though, is when Elsa runs against giant stone Abraham Lincoln in the 2020 election, who are you gonna vote for, John? For me, it's one of those things. It's one A and one B, right? Like, I'm definitely gonna support both of them if I'm being totally honest with you. I'm not sure how political we're allowed to get here on dear Hank and John, but my own perspective is that giant stone Abraham Lincoln and Elsa, I don't really care which way

the ticket goes, who's president, who's VP, like that's a strong ticket to me. All right, good. Turns out global warming is super complicated and there's more to it than just ice caps melting. And one of the concerns that's out there is that as we try and like deal with the individual problems with sort of large scale solutions, we don't fix them all at the same time. So one of the ideas is to decrease the amount of energy in the atmosphere. And that would be sort of the frozen Elsa idea if she could just re-freeze the ice caps so that those sea level doesn't go up. And then we avoid that particular problem. Maybe also she can just cool the whole planet because she doesn't seem to have that power. But that

doesn't decrease the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. So if when Elsa dies, I don't think anybody's ever sort of made the case that Elsa is immortal, then suddenly you have all that carbon dioxide still there. And indeed, we have been producing more in the meantime because we didn't attack the root source of the problem. And now, in this post-Elsa world, we are actually in a much worse situation. And also during that entire period of time, Elsa had only solved the temperature part of global warming and global climate change, whereas carbon dioxide's increased concentration in the atmosphere also increases the concentration of carbon dioxide in the oceans, which acidifies the oceans, which has wide scale potential ecosystem impact that could make it difficult for a lot of different communities to continue

subsisting off of the ocean. So there's all these different pieces to the puzzle that I don't think Elsa could handle any of them on her own, a question that only Elsa actually could answer. Like I don't know if she could do something where she could freeze carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. That would be really, really powerful, a useful tool and then we'd have a bunch of dry ice

for a Halloween parties. But I think that we need Elsa here to maybe sort of go to the war room with giant Stone Abraham Lincoln and figure out how to take on all the challenges at the same time. I have to make a serious recommendation on this front. Okay. I have started reading at my friend Henry Wright's recommendation, a newsletter, rate of change, and it's written by Atish Batia and it is so helpful to me. It has been so helpful to me in understanding climate change. This is obviously something I've read a lot about. I know lots of people feel like they've read a lot about it, but somehow I also, at the same time, always feel under informed. And this newsletter at rateofchange.substac.com has really helped me understand it way more deeply. So I can't recommend it enough.

It's time for the million dollar idea. It's time for the million dollar idea. I went on Twitter and searched for the phrase million dollar idea. John, that's the part of the podcast where I went on Twitter and I searched for the phrase million dollar idea. And I'm gonna report to you some people from Twitter every week, a different person. Sometimes they're good and sometimes they're not. And I wanna know, subjectively, my reactions to these ideas and also yours. Do you wanna hear our first million dollar idea, John?

I do wanna hear our first million dollar idea. It's from Rod Aljabi, Jr. Great. 30 minutes ago, said million dollar idea. In addition to ticket sales and views, maybe put a meter to record claps and responses at movie premieres. Factor that into the equation for best movie in the world.

Why not? People are making money off of nearly anything now. So I don't think that is a million dollar idea. Do you think it's an idea? I think the underlying concept is interesting where we are trying to figure out better metrics for understanding what people like. And we've figured out that what people will watch

or what people will spend money on is not necessarily totally reflective of what they love or what they find useful. And so I understand the impulse to do this. In my opinion, all it's gonna result in is like, before, after the movie, the star of the movie comes on during the credits and says like, hope you liked the movie. Don't forget to like and subscribe and clap your hands right now.

I think you're absolutely right. There will totally be campaigns of people who will go to the movie and they'll be like, all right, type it up. Everybody clap. As soon as soon as you create a new metric, people game the metric, right? And that's why money is a pretty good thing because it's at least like it's the end product.

It's like, look, this is what we were going for. We were going for making money. And so now end game has made more money than Avatar, and that means it's the biggest movie ever. And you can't fake money. Like people are either spending it or they're not. I think, it turns out actually you can fake money. Like people are either spending it or they're not. I think it turns out actually you can't fake money. I take it back.

A number of people have faked money and it has worked out fairly badly for everyone involved. But I think I like the root of this idea, but only if it could be like completely secret. Also, I don't like to encourage people to yell inside of movie theaters. That just might be my old man speaking, but like, let's just not, because how do you feel about appaulting at the end of the movie? At the end of the movie, you can do or say whatever you want.

It's over now. Yeah, during the movie, I don't like to be interrupted from my movie experience by other people. Right. But after the movie, yeah, whatever you want to boo, you want to clap,

you want to stomp your feet. I think that's all great. What about the noise that I sometimes make during movies, which is like this one, it goes like, when I like suddenly can't control myself and I like gasp out a cry. Oh, I had a jump scare or whatever. No, like when something's sad, I like,

I like can sometimes like kind of ugly cry at movies. I think that's okay. Like you can't, I don't think you can control crying. Like I don't think most people can stop themselves from crying when they're feeling emotional. You can't stop yourself from like leaning over to your next seat neighbor and being like, now was she also in pretty woman?

Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, so our final verdict is not million dollar idea. I do like this bit by the way, Hank, although I'm comparing it to the proposed bit where you are going to review the All Star Music video for 419 consecutive episodes of this podcast. So of course I like it. Alright, I like it too. I went through and I read a lot of million dollar ideas and boy, there are some doozy.

So I'm excited to get to more of them in the future. This nice question comes from Nicole who writes dear John and Hank I'm getting married in a few weeks and although I'm excited for the event I'm worried that I will spend the entire ceremony and reception in tears I'm an easy cryer and I'll tear up if I see a cute dog or romantic scene in a movie or if I just think about how excited I am to get married and see all my distant family in particular I'm worried about the father-daughter dance and walking down the aisle. I can't even listen to the song my father

and I've picked for our dance without crumbling into a sobbing mess. I feel so ridiculous for crying so easily, especially since I'm really very extraordinarily happy. And it's something I've struggled with a lot in my life. How could I not be a weeping mess on my wedding day? Sincerely Nicole, PS, why do melons have weddings? Because they can't alone.

Because they can't alone. That's a good, that's a good dad joke. I remember that one. I mean, I first heard that dad joke back in the 90s. Because they can't alone. That's a oldie. It's a classic. The real question is, why do humans have weddings

when they can alone? Yeah, I mean, that would be one way of solving Nicole's problem, because the justice of the PCs you cry, not a big deal. But it's also not embarrassing for you to cry at your own wedding. Just, this is fine and normal. I was really worried about this because I am also an easy and frequent cryer, and I did cry at my wedding. I cried a few times, but I didn't cry as much as I was worried about crying,

in part because there was so much. Like, Unicle, I cried a lot thinking about the wedding. I would get happy and feel emotional thinking about it, but then when it was actually happening, there was just so much sensory input that I did cry, but I was also feeling lots of other things, like the fact that tons of people are looking at me and everything. I've been to weddings where either the bride or the groom are both like cried throughout their entire vows

and could barely get the words out, and it was lovely. The thing is not to judge yourself for your emotional response to the experience. Like nobody's gonna be mad at you. This is your day, and if the way that you process that joyful emotion is with tears, then great.

Like let's happy cry together. Absolutely. I think that if you actually didn't wanna cry, the thing you'd have to do is to mentally separate from yourself from the thing that you're doing. And that's the last thing you wanna do. You wanna be there, you wanna be present, you wanna understand that all these people

have come together to support you and that you're making a tremendous commitment for the rest of your life. And all that stuff should be captured and enjoyed and felt in that moment. So feel it. Like, don't separate yourself from those emotions. And if you're a weepy mess and you make a bunch of bad noises and you don't look like,

your eyes are puffed or whatever, like, that's the thing that you did that day. And that's, that's, you, you sound and look and act it exactly how you should have. Exactly. And John, here's another question for us. It's from Campbell who says, dear Hank and John, I recently made a ring for my dad out of wood. It's nothing special, except that I did it completely by hand. And my dad wears it every single day without fail.

This is really nice, and I'll accept that the ring is genuinely the worst thing I've ever seen. I want to make him a new one because the old one is ugly, but he won't let me because he says he likes this one. Should I go behind his back and him a new one because the old one is ugly, but he won't let me because he says he likes this one Should I go behind his back and make a new one or do it is leave it and forget about it? Yeah, you even forget about it. Mm-hmm good. The Campbell you leave it and forget about it You also included a picture of this ring and it looks great. It looks great. It's a great ring It's a beautiful wooden ring. It makes your dad happy

It makes your dad happy. It makes your dad deeply, deeply happy because you made something for him. And that fills him with a kind of pride and joy that until you are a parent, you can only imagine and let him be happy. He loves, loves, loves that ring. I'll also say that like sometimes a bit of a rough ring

is a good look for a ring. I agree. Like it doesn't have to be perfect. Like maybe your dad's like, don't get me like a fancy, like, you know, oak grain with like an inlayed metal. I don't want that. I want this like ruggied. I want some scuff.

Ring that was made by an amateur. Well, look, lots of different kinds of rings can look good. I'm not here to diss on other rings. I'm here to compliment Campbell's ring. But I will say that when I first got married, my ring was so shiny and bright, and I was always like, God, I just cannot wait

for this thing to be scuffed up a little, so it doesn't look like I got married yesterday. And it finally has achieved a really nice scuff. And if I lost my wedding ring, I would be devastated, not because it means anything. Like, I could easily replace it with a different silver ring, but because the scuffs, like, the accumulated wear of it is part of what makes it feel so important to me.

Absolutely. So, Campbell, it's not all about the beauty of the ring. It's also about the meaning of the ring, and that ring is important to your dad. All right, Hank, let's answer this question from Emily, who writes, dear John and Hank, I'm sitting on the bus on my way to work, and a woman is just walked on, and I'm unsure if I know her or not.

You see, I work as a video editor for events that I do not attend. During the editing process, I look at sometimes the same set of faces for eight hours straight. I've seen some of the people I have edited on multiple occasions out and about. If I take the risk in thinking we know each other, I come off as creepy, but if I don't say anything, I come off as rude, because what if we do know each other? What should I do? I was intimidated to write this email

because I couldn't think of a name specific sign off Emily. Uh, I just say, what do we do? Have we met? I say this all the time. I say, have we met probably three times a day? It's not a big town, and also I don't want to take the risk. Yeah, I wouldn't say have we met, especially if you have an idea of what, wedding you're editing the video of I would be like

Hey, how's it going and then they're gonna be like uncomfortable and they're gonna be like hello Hello, and then you say how was Maureen and Lauren's wedding and then they're gonna be like what now? I'm gonna how's how Jeff fun. I saw you dancing with Is that your husband? Ah! Ah! Just go hard and creepy, Emily. Just be as specific as you can.

Just go, yeah. You know what I remember more than anything is the chiffon in your dress. Anyway, I wasn't there, but, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And then if you could, if you could like, point out the window and be like, what is that and then run away really fast?

Like Batman it? That's ideal too. You can really make them think they've been visited by a ghost. Anyway, this is my stop. Great to see you again. Yeah, I think all of us could use a little more paranormal activity in our lives, especially if it's just public transit based innocuous paranormal activity. Right. Paranormal activity. Right. The bus was haunted.

And then and then you're a discovery of channel special. It reminds me of one time I was at a store and I was checking out and the person behind the counter said to me, I know who you are. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Yeah, no, I had a, I had a, like a nine year old kid say to me last night at a baseball game stranger didn't know I'm said, I know that you run SciShow. It's like, yeah, that's okay. That's specific. That's related to it. I know who you are.

It's like, it's deep and it's weird. It implies to me that they know something about the inside of me. Right. That's like the thing you don't want to see written on the inside of the pizza box. Right. Exactly. Yeah. It's set up like, Hey, thanks for creating SciShow is fine written on the inside of the pizza box. I know who you are in all capital letters written on the inside of the pizza box is like, it's a level one emergency, which reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by level one emergencies. Level one emergencies, they're the biggest kind. Yeah.

John has them, you know, like once a month or so. I mean, sure, yeah, if it's a great month. This podcast is also brought to you by the ball of neutron star inside of Elsa's chest. It's where all the heat goes. And it is, as I understand it anyway, the most important plot point of the movie Frozen 2. This podcast is also brought to you by sobbing at your wedding, sobbing at your wedding. Just lean in.

Lean in. And finally, this podcast is brought to you by Giant Stone, Abraham Lincoln's Giant Stone Bipers. I don't know why they're made of stone, it makes it way harder to get them on and off. All right, we also have a project for us a message from Mike and Christine Verotta Stone to the Grateful Garment project. Thanks to Lisa Blanchard and all the volunteers

at the Grateful Garment project for helping return dignity to victims of sexual violence. If you'd like to know more about their cause, they are at GratefulGarmant.org. That's very nice of you to use your Project for Awesome donation to shout out a nonprofit organization that you care about. Thank you very much and thanks to everyone at Grateful Garment as well. All right. Everyone's used their Project for Awesome messages in such kind ways. Nobody's been like, please make a fart noise for 12 seconds.

I mean, that would also be okay, though, just for clarity. Oh, I mean, Hank would be delighted. I love making fart noise. John, do you want to, is that yours? Do you want me to make a fart noise? Oh, no, that was not, nope, that was not a request. It was an observation. All right, Hank, before we get to the all important news

from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, I have to issue a correction. It's extremely embarrassing. I don't know what came over me. I know. I, something else. Yeah, anyway. Seth wrote in to say, dear John and Hank,

and you're showing title, no ticket out from July 15th. Mr. J. Green, by the way, I can tell that Seth is from Mississippi because he calls me Mr. J. Green. and I like haven't been called that in print since the last time I was emailed by someone from Mississippi. Anyway, Mr. Jay Green profored his idea of a wedding reception table featuring the alabameness of Udorowelty and Flannery O'Connor, neither of whom are from alabam. Flannery O'Connor was a Georgian and Udor Welty was of course a proud Mississippi and as is Seth along with William Faulkner and many other great artists and writers.

I urge Mr. J. Green to reconcile this and further consider the Mississippi-ness of the literary world as Faulkner allegedly said to understand the world, you must first understand a place like Mississippi. That does sound like something Faulkner allegedly said. For all of the problems the Magnolia State has, I humbly ask you not to take away what we have given to the literary world, a blodged Seth. First off, Seth, great sign off, great email, loved every part of it. If I'm going to be corrected, it's nice to be done so generously. And yeah, of course, you're wealthy is for Mississippi. I mean, I went

to the Oxford Conference of the book the year that Edor Welty was the writer who was being analyzed. So I have all people should know this. But yeah, I don't know what came over me thinking about the South. And I do have a bad habit in general of thinking that Alabama equals the South because that is the South that I grew up with. But yeah, there you go. Well Hank, it's time for the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. The news from AFC Wimbledon, the season is creeping, creeping ever closer. We're playing Rotherham in our first game on August the 3rd.

So it's really quite soon. Yeah, it feels like the off season was like six weeks. I agree. It was a short off season for some reason, but we did play in the last week two friendly matches, one against a met police, which is not entirely composed of members of the Metropolitan Police, but used to be and one against Hampton and Richmond, Burrow. Now, both of those teams are a couple of few levels below us in the footballing pyramid, but we won those games.

Hey. Our first two wins of the preseason. So I'm psyched to have kind of to be ramping up with a couple of victories as we prepare to take on Rotherham on August 3rd in the first game of the season that matters. All right. Well, good. I'm glad that you are capable of scoring goals. And I'm excited to see how the season gets off to a start.

So Joe Piggitt is still on the team. Like it's going to, it's like done. Joe Piggitt is still on the team. We also just signed a new kid, Calum Riley. Maybe I shouldn't call him a kid since he's 25 years old. His contract was canceled by mutual consent with Jillingham. And so we picked him up. That's our con of guy.

All right. We'll see how he does. Our manager, Wally Downs, said, and I'm quoting, Calum is a good passer of the ball. He has, I have seen him accomplish multiple good kicks. manager Wally Downs said, and I'm quoting, Calum is a good passer of the ball. He has, I have seen him accomplish multiple good kicks. It's essentially like the Hank Green analysis of Lionel Messi.

He's good with both the little kicks and the bigger kicks. Yeah, it's true. I've noticed that about Messi. What's the news from Mars? This weekend, this weekend Mars news, seismologists at ETH Zurich have brought Mars quakes, John, to Earth, using a quake simulator, or a shake room. So this is a room that lets them plug in seismic event data to feel what a quake feels like.

So we've got the data for Mars, and then we bring it to Earth, and then we experience the quake ourselves. They're part of an international team looking at data from the size seismometer. It's part of the Mars Insight mission, which measured its first Mars quake back in April. Size is one of the most sensitive seismometers that has ever existed. I almost said on Earth, but it's not on Earth, which is important because the signals

it's measuring on Mars can be really quiet and hard to detect. So much so that the Zurich team actually had to amplify the Mars quake by a factor of 10 million for them to feel it in the shake room. So it was a little tremor. Wait, so Mars quakes, even though they're frequent, they're not like terrifying. No, yeah, no. Mars is, I'm sure that it's had a company in its volcanic eruptions, some pretty big earthquakes,

but it is tectonically locked. So it doesn't have earthquakes the same way Earth does. But we can learn a few things from the shake room so they can feel that strongly amplified Mars quake and they can compare it to seismic activity here on Earth versus also the moon, the other body that we have quake data for. Wait, the moon quakes? The other's moon quakes, John. Whoa, God. The universe is weird.

Yeah. The geology of the Earth and the moon and Mars are all, of course, different. And so the seismic activity is different on those parties. Earthquakes are shorter, usually lasting around 10 seconds to several minutes. While moonquakes can go on for an hour or more, and Marsquakes with our limited data so far seem to be somewhere in the middle, with maybe like earthquakes 10 to 20 minutes long, and are of one or two types. There's one that has a higher frequency signal,

and that kind of looks like a moonquake to us, and then there's a second type that has a lower frequency signal that we think probably might just be quakes that are occurring farther away from the seismometer. So, size is still gathering data. It hasn't been gone for that long, so we maybe haven't caught all the different types of quakes that Mars can have,

and it will continue giving us new data for us to work with, and maybe some stronger quakes for those Zurich-based scientists to quake themselves around with. So, if you're standing on the surface of Mars, you wouldn't feel a Mars quake. No, not any of the ones we've felt so far, no? That's super helpful to me, because I don't know if you know this, but whenever I like ask Alice if she wants to move to California, she's always like, no, no, no, no, no, earthquakes. And then I'll be like, I mean, I feel that. And I'll be like, okay, do you want to move to Hawaii? And she'll be like, no, of course not volcanoes.

And I'll be like, oh, right, okay. You want to move to, I don't know, like, uh, Eastern North Carolina and she'll be like, no, tsunamis. So, like, maybe Mars is a good solution for Alice? Yeah, I mean, the nice thing about Indianapolis is that, like, nothing happens. Well, it just tornadoes, which Alice is terrified of. Yeah, understandable, understandable. We don't have a super bad natural disasters here in Mizzou,

except for terrible, terrible intense wildfires and very bad snowstorms and floods. So just those three kinds. Yeah, I mean, which is a bummer. Well, Hank, thank you for potting with me. It's been a pleasure. We're off to record our Patreon only podcast this week and Rhymes. I mean, which, you know, which is a bummer. Well, Hank, thank you for potting with me. It's been a pleasure. We're off to record our Patreon only podcast

this week in Rhymes. It's the worst podcast you will ever hear in your entire life. It's available only at patreon.com slash to your Hank and John. I can't believe people pay for it, but they do. Yeah, thank you to all of people who pay for it. I think it's lovely. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tune a Mettish.

It's produced by Rosiana Halzro Joseph Tuneum Eddish. It's produced by Rosiana Halz-Rohas and Sheridan Gibson. Our head of community and communications is Victoria Bonjourna of the Music You're Hearing right now, and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. you