Dear Hank & John - 214: Crime Dentures

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

How do I make a film for dental school? What if my anglerfish doesn’t match my room decor? What should I do with a bag full of 1500 pictures of pregnant Harry Styles? Do I need to talk to my boss about the book they lent me? Can I zest a bit of lime at the store? Any podcast recommendations? What song should I blast through the church steeple? Hank Green and John Green give advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail]. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. There was effort to think of it, dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you the abuse advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC, Wimble then John. Do you know about my jingle bell rock? No, but I'm so excited to find out. It's the rock that I throw at people

when they start singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We're all gonna be dead in a few decades. It's all going back to dust, Hank. This dust organized itself into an incredibly complicated thing that has opinions about Christmas music. And that dust is going back to dust. And whenever I hear people, and I know I have a lot of hills, I would die on that are stupid hills, like most of them related to football, but whenever I hear people fighting about Christmas

songs in November, I just want to like lean over and whisper into their ears, we're all going to be dead soon. But the hard drives that hold Mariah Carey's all I want for Christmas on you will outlast us all. First off, that's not the name of the song. Second off, if that were the name of the song, the song would be so much better. What's the name of the song? All I want for Christmas is you. What did I say? You said all I want for Christmas on you. No, I didn't. I bet let's, can we play back the tape? Mariah Carey's all I want for Christmas on you.

That's good. Our first question comes from John who writes, dear John and Hank, I don't know when you're reading this. Me neither, John, but I know that it has the cold embrace of death approaches. My name is John and I'm a dentistry student. I need your help. My final project is a group project.

What? What for dentistry school? And it's a 45 minute film. What? Oh, dentists, I'm never going to see a dentist again. Yeah, Hank. Listen, I think there's a place for group projects and I think there's a place for film projects

and I think the place for neither of those things is dentistry school. I don't want my dentist to be an excellent YouTuber. I actively want my dentist to not be a YouTuber. And keep hitting me. Maybe this will make sense if we keep going. The twist is that we need to incorporate the process of making complete dentures into the film.

Well, I mean, that is at least vaguely dentistry-related. Since you both wrote books, and John has the track record of having successful movies and series adapted from his books, it's a bit of a dig and hank there. I need ideas slash concepts for this film. The only place we can be allowed to film are in the school and in one of my classmates, what settlement area?

Which is like a condo. Where are you going to school that there's a settlement area? Is this like, are you on a moon comedy? The genre is a mix of comedy and drama. Well, of course it's a mix of comedy and drama, or either of the two. Okay, so you can't make a... Or it could just be drama.

Dramatic. Well, it has to be... I mean, when you're dealing with something so serious, nobody who goes to this dental school should ever be allowed to become a dentist. This is a disaster. Your help is greatly appreciated having a dental dilemma. John. So John, here's the thing, man, you're not having a dental dilemma. And that is what concerns me.

You're having a film making to them an in dental school. Not since that young person had to dress up as a clown for an advertisement for her college have I been so disturbed by news from higher education. Forget about rising tuition, forget about student loans, crushing the souls of America's young people, we can't have our dentists becoming filmmakers. Uh, but we're not solving the problem, John. We've been asked to solve a specific problem, which is how do you incorporate denture making into a 45 minute film that is either a comedy or drama or both?

45 minutes. 45 minutes! I mean, it's an, it's an, I've never made a 45 minute video and this is my job. your drama or both. 45 minutes. 45 minutes! I mean, it's an, it's an, I've never made a 45 minute video, and this is my job! It's an episode of Law and Order SVU. You have to make to get out of dental school.

You, you've done it, John. Okay, you have to make the dentures so that you can solve a crime. Yes. It's crime dentures. Yes, you did it. You need to match a bite mark. Yes.

And the cops call you and there's a crack team of dentured dentists. Yes. And they're working hard day and night to solve the crime. And then the crime people come to you because they know you're about to solve the crime, so the crime people are now trying to murder you and you're locked in the dentist office and you have to dig your way out through the secret dental cavern that every dentist office has. Yes.

And that's a complete secret and nobody knows about it because it's super creepy. Right. Everything except for the last thing. Hank, you taking my joke about law and order SVU and turning it into a realistic plot is a wonderful example of the difference between your books and my books because that is brilliantly plotted. It's airtight, it's wonderful, it's got everything. My idea was to have two dental students

slowly fall in love while building this set of dentures over 45 minutes and literally nothing happens. Except the dentures get built and they have a conversation and at the end of the conversation as they're like putting in the last fake tooth, one of them says to the other, I think the most beautiful smile in the world is this denture.

The second most beautiful smile in the world is yours. And then they kiss. It's absolutely wonderful. John, you're welcome for having given you two top notch ideas to complete this terrible, right terrible assignment. And in either case, at least one of the characters has to die. Yeah, yeah, of course. This next question comes from Allison,

who asks, dear Hank and John, in art class, oh God, what's gonna happen now? I made a paper mache mask in Anglerfish. Okay, this sounds great. In art class, I had to drill a hole in a mower and stuff it full of some am I had to drill a hole in a mower and stuff it full of some amalgam to treat a cavity. Look, I'm all for liberal arts education

and people studying lots of things. But in art class, you make art and in dentist class, you learn dentisting. Okay, so you made a paper mache anglerfish great. I very much like my anglerfish and I would like to display it. But it really doesn't match my room decor. Should I go full anglerfish and completely redecorate my room or just burn the anglerfish?

Anglerfish and Apple's Allison. Also, what do I name it, PS? So taking the latter part of the question first, John, what is a good, you need to give me five names in the next five seconds. Albus. Al, Lister, Alfie, Algie, and Al Gore. Good, okay, so pick one of those five.

Okay, perfect. And for the former part of your question, John, should we have an anglerfish bonfire or go all anglerfish in the room decor? I'm a big fan of making the destruction of your art part of your art. It's one of my favorite things that contemporary artists do sometimes.

So that would be my preference just from a pure art perspective. And I actually have to recommend against fire in this case. So here's the situation. When an anglerfish is in the deep sea, it is under extreme pressure of all of that water up above it. And then when it's caught by a scientist, often times on the way up, if you don't actually put them in a pressure chamber, the difference, so it's not like it's terrible for the anglerfish to be down there,

it's supposed to be there. But the difference as it rises through the water column of that pressure, it's such a shocking difference that the Anglerfish can actually explode. So if you want to really make this like part of your art, you need to blow up the Anglerfish. Now, you're going to have to be careful about this, but this is what art is about. It's about taking risks. God, as is so often the case, if you just end Hank's advice before the last sentence, it's great advice. I have an alternate way of blowing up your anger fish that does not involve the acquisition and utilization of dynamite.

It's called a balloon. Oh, that's fun, an actual air pressure situation. Yeah, yeah, you get one of those big balloons and you just pump it full until the whole thing pops. Yeah, that's beautiful. Okay, sure. We've solved two problem, Alice, and you're welcome. But far be it for me to say,

don't, like, once you do explode your anglerfish, you should then go and do a whole deep-sea-day course switch in your bedroom. But not related to the existence of the Anglerfish just because that's a good idea. All right, Hank, we have another question. It's from anonymous, and it's one of those questions that we get every so often that's just so perfect I almost can't believe it, but then there is photo evidence that makes me inclined to believe it.

Anonymous writes, dear John and Hank, hypothetically, if one were to stumble upon, say, a bag containing roughly 1,500 tiny pictures of a pregnant Harry Styles, what should one do with them? Anonymous. Oh, this is very good. I mean, first of all, you just have to drop to your knees and thank the universe. Right. You know, like sometimes when you're walking around,

you'll find a $10 bill on the ground or something and you'll pick it up and you'll say, like, oh, things must be going okay for me for the next couple of days. But when you look down and you see what appears to be a very large plastic bag that is literally full of 1500, maybe like three inch high, one and a half inch wide. Yes. Pictures of a pregnant Harry styles. That's when you know that like the whole rest of your life

is going to be great. I don't mean to like, stop on any ideas you've had, but the obvious thing to do here is to send those pregnant Harry styles is to Mizzule Montana where we will then distribute them as Project for Awesome perks. I mean, I don't really care how I get one of these pictures of a pregnant Harry styles, but I feel very strongly that I get one.

Right. John, at first send them to Indianapolis. John will sign them, then send them to Missouri. I will sign them. I mean, he looks so happy about being pregnant too. Have you seen the picture? It's in the file. Like, it is growing.

It is, it's real. I'm so glad I was worried it wasn't real. Oh my gosh, he does look so happy. He's just, he's glowing. He's glowing. Well, real, I'm so glad I was worried it wasn't real. Oh my gosh, he does look so hot. He's just, he's glowing. He's glowing. Well, no, I mean, this is perfect. Those are, there were, were asking to be signed by Hank and John Green.

Maybe we could get Mr. Stiles himself involved. Probably not. He seems like a busy guy. Yeah, but it's for charity. Somebody's gotta know him. He's got friends and his friends have friends. Oh, I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it. Oh God. Somebody's gotta know him. He's got friends and his friends have friends. Oh, I don't know.

I don't like it. I don't like it. Oh God. Does he have a Twitter? Hopefully not. He appears to not have a Twitter. No, that's too bad. Well, not really.

Is it too bad, Hank? Or did Harry Styles make exactly the right call? Oh, no, there he is. Oh, okay. He's not following me, so I can't DM him. Oh God, how do you make it through the day? Ha, ha, ha. Boy, he looks great. I am looking at his Twitter biopic.

I can't get to Twitter, but I can get to all of these Twitter clones. It's terrible. I don't even want to tell you about the dark habits of people who don't have Twitter's, but still can get to Twitter. But anyway, his picture is phenomenal. This week it rinds. it still can get to Twitter. But anyway, his picture is phenomenal. This week in Ryan's. Yeah, okay, we're gonna make Harry Styles this week,

this week's Ryan, Harry Ryan's Styles. You can go find out more at patreon.com slash dear Hank and John, and access our really, really bad weekly podcast called this week in Ryan's, which is wrapping up we should add. Yeah, we will be finishing at an introducing a new podcast shortly. Yeah, we will be finishing at an introducing a new podcast shortly. Yes. If you have any suggestions for new Patreon only podcasts that are like five minutes long,

that are not Hank and I talking about the life and career of a random human being, we'd love to hear your ideas. This next question comes from Mary who asks, do I need to comment or talk to my boss about the book that they lent me? I'm almost done, not the mother of Christ Mary. Thanks for clarifying that, Mary. I did this when I first had employees.

I started to like be like, this would be a good book for everybody at the company to read and then immediately I stopped doing that. Yeah, there was another question this week from someone who said, Hey, my boss asked me to come into their office so that they could show me them doing one pushup. And then they did one pushup. What do I say after I watch my boss do one push off?

And the answer is that it is not your fault that your boss has not yet figured out how to be a boss. And hopefully there's nothing like malicious or weird in that or well, there's definitely something weird in it, but hopefully there's nothing, nothing malicious in it. It's just that they're weird and they're uncomfortable and they think that this is going to build team or something and they're just mistaken. Yeah. And I feel the same way. Like I have pointedly not given space truck to complexly employees precisely because I don't want them to be like, oh, I got to talk to the boss about this thing. Yeah. I have to read this and then like affirm their existing beliefs. If you were part of the narrative of the push up,

like if you would know that this is part of an existing story and that be like working toward this push up, then that's a totally normal thing to do, but it is such a not normal thing to do without any context. Oh, listen, I don't even know that it's a totally normal thing to do with context. Like imagine that over the last three months, I've been talking in the office about how I really wanna do 100 pushups in a row.

And then I come in one day and I say, No, yeah, you're right. Y'all, I can do 100 pushups in a row now. Everyone would be like, Hey, that's great. What's going on with Crash Course this week? And I'd be like, no, no, no. I'm gonna do 100 pushups right now

when you're all gonna look at me. Yeah, let's stop work. Let's stop what we do here to generate income together and instead witness 100 consecutive push-ups. Like, that's weird, Hank. Be a part of my story. Yes, I agree you are right. I think that ultimately you probably should,

and this is the thing, right? Is that this imbalance in power is what the problem is because you kind of have to now say an insightful positive thing about the book you are lent. And also, it might be that the book is not reflective of your values or that like the book is something like poly make or something and then you're stuck being like, oh yeah, no, I was really interested to read this smear to defensive fascism. Thank you for sharing it with me. Like, you don't have to, but it's the thing to do if you want to like maintain a good standing like a or like increase your standing in your boss's eyes.

It's like an opportunity to- I hate that though. I know, I agree. But it's the thing to do. Yeah, it's all on the boss, but they're the person in power. And so I agree that it's the wrong way to be a boss, but responding to it one way or the other,

and except for doing the thing that hurts your career and saying this is weird, like you can't do that because they're the one in power. But not doing anything doesn't tell them that this is a bad boss strategy. That's a good point. Yeah, okay, so there is a time when it's okay

for a boss to give employees a book, right? Which is when the book is about how do companies like ours do better? And this is my new management strategy, and I'm introducing it to you in the form of a book. Like maybe that's okay. Maybe, but in that case, it's asking for out of hours work. Right, that's true.

That's a good point. So no, that's not okay. I take it back. Here's what I would say. Unless you're like a sea level employee. Off topic. Yeah. When people refer to sea level employees

Mm-hmm until like two weeks ago. I thought that they were referring to like I can't wait subpar employees Like sea level and everyone would be like well I mean not not your sea level employees and I would be like okay, and they would be like oh You know you really got to protect those sea level and I would be like, okay. And they would be like, oh, you know, you really got to protect those sea level. And I would be like, do you? Do you? Like the last people.

I read one like article in the Wall Street Journal that was talking about how sea level employees need different kinds of healthcare. And I was like, do they? And then anyway. So it turns out, and y'all may already know this, but it turns out it's referring to like the C of C. Oh, yeah, C. T. O. O. O. It's referring to the word chief. Yes.

That really made every business article I've ever read change, meaning completely. Yep. Anyway, that's wild. Mary, if your boss sent you a book called how to be a good sea level employee, that may have been a compliment and it may have been an attempt to give you a massive promotion. And don't interpret it the way I did as being like, are you saying that I'm slightly

at just average? Oh boy, this is wild. I, well, it all makes sense now, John, as to why I'm the one running the company. It's true. It's true. I mean, that's not the only reason, but it is one of the reasons. So, Mary, you're doing great. Your boss didn't crush it here. Yeah. Just try to get out of this as quickly and elegantly as you can. You don't need to comment, but it is like if you could manage to say something positive and insightful

It will in dear your boss to you I know this next question comes from Abby who writes and Hank yeah We've been doing this podcast for a long time. Yeah, we have never gotten a question that hurt my feelings as much as this one Dear John and Hank hey if I'm making a key lime pie and I need lime zest, can I go to the store with a zester and just sort of zest a bit of lime? Oh no. I don't need the whole lime. What about the other citrus?

Could I do this with oranges? Is it stealing? Ah, yes. Yeah, it is stealing. It's not just stealing. It's tampering with other people's food. Right, it's much worse than stealing, right? Because it's stealing.

Like, a zester. I don't know how clean your zester is, Abby. No, it's the equivalent. How often do you disinfect your zester? I don't know where this your zester is, Abby. No, it's the account. How often do you disinfect your zester? I don't know where this person's zester has been. Exactly. No, so obviously you can't do this, but this does. I understand where you're coming from,

because the zest of a lime seems like the trash part. That's not the part I want when I buy a lime, usually. Though, this seems to have changed in the last 15 years when now suddenly every recipe is asking me to zest something. when I buy a lime usually. Though this seems to have changed in the last 15 years, now suddenly every recipe is asking me to zest something. Well, here's the thing, Abby. First off, you shouldn't be zesting a lime. You should be zesting a key lime.

If you're making key lime pie, I don't want to get into the weeds of this. But if you're making key lime pie with regular limes, you're not making key lime pie. You're making lime pie. I don't, do people know about you and key lime pies? For a while, John was like a semi professional key lime pie tester. You were really into this.

I was a really good key lime pie tester, and I do have very strong opinions about key lime pie, but that's not what we're here for. We're here to get Abby to stop stealing limes and then returning them to the grocery store mangled. So really the question becomes like what do you do with the rest of the, because you don't, like you're using the trash part of the lime to to zest through your key lime pie. What do you do with the rest of the lime? There are so many things to do with the lime. Yes, you do one of the

genitalia things. Right, you put it in your bubbly water. You, I mean, a lime is perhaps the single most usable food in that entire section of the grocery store. Yeah, they're so good. You could literally anything. You could just squirt the lime juice directly into your mouth, it's delicious, slightly sour, but delicious. What baffles me about this is that anytime I get a recipe where I have to zest a lime, my first thought is thank God

a new lime is coming into my life. The only time I don't feel good about a lime coming into my life is when it's one of those scooters. What's that? It's the scooter company, John. Oh, you were making a mechanized scooter joke. Yes. Okay, Boomer. Wow, okay, that phrase is over. John killed it. It happens. God did it.

God did it. Boomer's learned about it. One of the things I love about being 42 is that people are accusing me of being a baby boomer. Yeah, it's amazing. People are calling me a boomer. I'm barely Gen X. It's almost like all these things are made up.

Yeah. And what really happens is that as people get older, they seek to conserve the power that they have acquired or have had handed down to them, regardless of what the name of their generation is. Yeah. Our next question comes from Olivia. Right, dear John and Hank, I currently have a concussion. I'm sorry to hear that, Olivia.

I can't read or look at screens. So I've taken to listen to podcasts. Nice. However, I have now listened to every dear Hank and John, many of them multiple times. Any podcast recommendations? Oh, yeah. First, I want to say that I once had a concussion,

but I didn't know it until I went in to record a side show and looked at the teleprompter and was like, none of those are words. And if I can't do this anymore, then this is very bad. So I went to the doctor, because I'd walked into a piece of wood at a construction site, but I got better. So that's the good news.

Good story, Boomer. Oh, that's not how that works. Oh, it's gonna, you, oh, I'm just getting started. Oh, okay. I am also glad you're okay because I would make a terrible size show host. Olivia, my first recommendation is to listen to our other podcasts, especially. Right. Yes.

I am especially a fan of Delete This, but SciShow Tangents is also great. I make a podcast with WNYC called The Anthropocene Reviewed, which is a nice little 20 minute bite of writing that you can get once a month in your podcast years. I mean, the wild thing to me is that you don't know about all the, there are so many podcasts, it's unlimited. I will make suggestions, though. The Bright Sessions is a very good fictional podcast. Harry Potter and the Sacred Text is wonderful exploration of being human.

99% invisible. I listen to pretty much every episode of. I also love the illusionist. Oh, yeah, so do I. The ALL, US, IO, etc. I listen to today explained and the daily sometimes, but not every time, when I want to like, no more about an issue and actually get a fairly nuanced and deeper take, then I would get from Twitter or even television news. If you like soccer, men in Blazers is an amazing podcast. Also, to reveal myself as an old school fan of public radio, there are three public radio podcasts. I listen to every single new episode of,

they are Planet Money Radio Lab and this American Life. I also still really enjoy the fresh air interviews that Terry Gross does. So there's just so many good podcasts out there. There's so many good podcasts. We are in a golden age of podcasts and like a silver age of podcast listenership. It's very true. And I listened to every episode. If you learn a very similar thing to Dear Hank and John, but funny here, of course, my brother, my brother and me. And I also listened to every episode of The Adventure Zone. And also there are like side podcasts,

like Wonderful and Shmanners and Sabo and Sarell Hilarious and those boys are the best. I completely agree, Hank, which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by The McElroy Brothers, The McElroy Brothers, the McElroy brothers, making dozens, possibly even hundreds of high quality podcasts for your listening enjoyment. This podcast is also brought to you by Lawn Order Special Dentist Unit.

Don't don't. They're, they're, they're here with teeth to solve your crime. Today's podcast also brought to you by Pregnant Harry Styles, Pregnant Harry Styles coming soon to a project for awesome near you. I hope so. And also this podcast is brought to you by the popping paper mishay, Anglerfish. It's just like what happens when you bring a deep sea creature up from the depths of the ocean. All right Hank, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, I want to get to one more question.

It's from Laura and she writes, dear John and Hank, my church has always had a steeple with a bell that they would ring by hand every Sunday. Unfortunately, we switched over to a digital pre-recorded bell that plays through the steeple. It's run through a computer and speaker system. It doesn't really make sense to me why we don't use our perfectly good bell anymore, but that's not my question. My question is, I run a lot of the sound equipment for services and the bands that play at the church, and I was shown how the steeple music works. You can literally play any song through it. So my question is, what song should I blast through the church steeple music works. You can literally play any song through it. So my question is,

what song should I blast through the church steeple? So we have a somewhat similar thing at my church where with the Piscopalians, you know, they're like a little bit more Catholic than most Protestants. And so there's some kneeling and there's a certain solemnity around the Eucharist. Anyway, there's a moment where like the bread gets broken by the priest and in that moment the bell rings three times. And I used to be so impressed back in the old days when the bell would be really well timed. And then sometimes it wouldn't be, you know, sometimes the bell would come in like four seconds early

and everyone would kind of giggle. But now I think the priest just like has to hit a button and the bell rings three times, which has kind of like taken the magic out of it for me. But I have often thought like it would be so badass if one, just one time it was the riff from stairway to heaven. I mean, so what is the point that we want to get across through the bells?

Is it like, like, holonotes privatize? Like, do you mean like what is trying to be accomplished religiously in that moment? No, it is not like holonotes privatize. God is here and they're watching and God is watching you. No, no, no. No. Like, that is a great, like the bells version where it's like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, like that.

I want to hear more about what you think, the contemporary liberal Protestant Christianity is all about because that initial glimpse into it is fascinating to me. What about, what about, you know, for like when, like on Easter, is that when Jesus comes back or that's good Friday? Oh my God. Sorry. He's just when he comes back, right?

Yes. What about since you've been gone by Kelly Clarkson? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh God, that's such a good idea. Good, okay. It is a really celebratory. You can get away with all kinds of things on Easter Sunday at church.

Sure. That's not impossible. Okay. I almost want to give you money to start your own church because I think you would just make it bananas and really great. Yeah, no. That always goes well. Yes.

In my experience, when you take charismatic people with extremely healthy egos and you tell them to start a religion, everything works out perfectly. Goose. That'll go as fine. The two chapters of the Hank Green story. The first, there's the first chapter. The first 40 years were great. Then his brother gave him $4,000 of startup capital.

And that's how we ended up with Hankism. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, that gave me the baddest taste. All right, Hank, it's time to get to the old one. It's time for a million dollar idea. I'm not their million dollar idea. Somebody tweeted on the internet, they had a million dollar idea.

It's from Alex who says a million dollar idea. Uber Express, it's like normal Uber, but all traffic laws are thrown out the window and you get where you need to go on time. Minimum of 500 horsepower. Everything about that idea is bad. Oh, it's so bad. That would be a catastrophe.

They have this in Russia, where oligarchs can pay extra money to have a blue light that they put on their car and they get to violate traffic rules. So that I'm sure that it goes great there. I'm gonna throw it out there. I don't think we want to emulate that. No.

Also, I will pay for the opposite of this. What's the opposite of this? A special Uber for going very slowly and carefully. That's so true. That I would pay a premium for. If there's like a list of pre-approved Uber drivers who air on the side of caution. Yeah, no, I had an Uber driver recently

from this guy who was in an absolutely no hurry to get me anywhere and I was like, I'm gonna give you a $10 tip, this was great. Oh, that's great, Hank, that's great. That can be one of the tenants of Hankism. Yeah, just nice and slow. You know, ultimately, ultimately, we waste a lot of time in our lives, and more of that

time should be wasted trying to not die during the most dangerous moments of our day. Is that, you really think the most dangerous moment of your day is when you're driving? Yes, scientifically, absolutely. No, not for me. For me, it's when I'm juggling fire. Oh, right. Yes, of course, John does live on the edge. Yeah, it's just the only way I can feel alive. You, it's when I'm free.

For me, like probably the most dangerous part of my day is when I'm free sewing large flat rock faces. Jumping out of airplanes, bungee jumping. John, what is the actual thing that you do that gets your adrenaline pumping? Yeah, I mean, I don't really need to do anything. It's mostly a thought-based thing for me. I can get my adrenaline pumping.

Yes. In fact, when you asked that question, my palms got sweaty. I felt my heart rate increased because I, I mean, the difference between me and somebody like Alex Honald, who in order to feel alive has to climb up El Capitan or whatever, is that I am never more than one quick thought away from feeling all of that rush, all that terror.

I'm gonna adrenaline junky for my own thoughts. Yeah, it's like a superpower where like, oh, that's, you wanna feel that? Easy. Just close your eyes and imagine the coming doom. Ah, do you have news from AFC Wimbledon? Yeah, so, yeah. Uh, I mean, look, the good news is that, uh, there have been some new visuals released

for the AFC Wimbledon Stadium, for what the inside of it is gonna look like. It's gonna have some, it's gonna look really nice. I mean, who knows if architectural drawings are what going to look like, it's going to have some, it's going to look really nice. I mean, who knows if architectural drawings are what things actually look like, but I'll put one or two of these on the Patreon. It looks like it's going to be a beauty of a stadium. It's going to seat 9,000 people,

which is about right, I think, for Wimbledon. Good. And it's going to be small, compact. You're going to feel close to the action. There are luxury boxes along one side, which is a super important thing for revenue generation. And it looks really good. Blue and yellow theme for the furniture, which is what you'd expect. The news on the pitch is pretty minimal at the moment. We're still in 21st place, which is the, it's the place we don't want to be in. We really want to be in 20th place.

We just want to swap spots. Currently sitting in 20th place is the franchise currently playing its trade in Milton Keynes and it'd be great to just have a quick swap with them. They have experience taking stuff from us. So it'd be great if they could just take that 21st spot from us. Oh, damn. Well, in the, uh, this week's Mars news, the Mars 2020 rover is up. It's standing. It's like a baby with six titanium legs and aluminum 20.7 inch diameter motorized wheels. This is the first time the rover has put all of its weight on its legs. The current wheels in the rover are actually just for testing, but they will be replaced with the eventual flight models that will actually go to Mars when it comes time to launch.

They're designed to allow the rover to turn 360 degrees in place and to handle tilts of up to 45 degrees without tipping over. In addition to the wheels, engineers at JPL unwrapped the rover and fully wiped it down, which kind of extends the, it's like baby comparison that we're doing to a weird place. Yeah. The engineers have removed a protective layer of foil and they wiped it down with isopropyl alcohol to make sure that it doesn't contaminate any future samples from Mars with stuff from our planet. So it's happening, John. Wow. And is it going into space in 2020?

Or is it going to Mars in 2020? The plan is for it to launch in 2020 and land in February of 2021. Okay. So it's really the Earth 2020 rover and the Mars 2021 rover just to be clear. You know, it's fine to name the things, the way that NASA names them.

I'm not gonna step on that. All right, I agree. It's exciting to know that this beautiful titanium baby is on its way to Mars. I'm super excited. I, yeah, and I really, I'm getting ready for them to actually name this thing. It will not eventually be called the Mars 2020 rover.

No, it'll be called some kind of noun, right? Like curiosity. Yes. Right. Usually yes. So it'll get, it should get some name like that. I hope. I have, I have an idea for a good noun.

Mm-hmm. Hank. It'd be hilarious if it's like, this is our opportunity rover and this is our curiosity rover. And over here we have Hank. The contest to name the rover actually closed on November 1st. I know. I already submitted my name. Oh, okay. It was it was a Hank. Hank.

All right. Well, hopefully they will decide on a name and hopefully it won't be Hank very soon. All right, Hank. Thank you for podding with me. Thanks to everybody for listening. This podcast is a co-production of Complexly and WNYC Studios. It's produced by Rosieanna Halcero, Hassan Sheridan Gibson, edited by Joseph Tunehmetish, and our head of community and communications is Victoria Bonn-Jorno. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola. You can email us at Hank andinjohnatgmail.com. You can find our patron-only podcast at patreon.com slash gear hankinjohn. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.