Dear Hank & John - 218: Hank & John's Airport Stories

Episode Date: December 9, 2019

Why shouldn't I take my temperature after I eat? Will my fingerprint grow back? How will COPPA affect Crash Course? Can my bottle of frozen water get through TSA? At what age are you supposed to use the money in your piggy bank? What are the noises that landlines make when you dial a number? Could Bill Gates cure cancer? Will stickers be our civilization's cave art? Hank Green and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail]. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Hey, cold open today to let you know two things. First, dear Hank and John is going on tour next month. We'll be in St. Petersburg, Florida on January 10th in Rolly North Carolina on January 11th and in Atlanta, Georgia on January 12th. There will be live dear Hank and John live Anthropocene reviewed surprises wide spread communal joy. Hope to see you there tickets at Hank and John dot com slash appearances. Also, the 13th annual project for awesome is happening now with perks including our spouses amazing spin-off podcast, Dear Catherine and Sarah, and a vinyl record of the Anthropocene Review you can learn more at projectforawesome.com.

All right, onto the show. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hello and welcome to Dear Hank Hadja. There was a prefer to think of it, dear Jon and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you a debuse advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and FC Limbolde and Jon. I've been hearing a lot of non-dads telling what they refer to as dad jokes and I'm tired

of it. No, that's a weird take. It's just faux pas after faux pas after faux pas. Oh God. So, I'm happy with it. Did you write that one yourself? Yes, I was inspired by a different dad joke. Oh, yes.

The stealing joke defense used by countless comedians over the millennia. Well I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday. Hank, here in the United States, it was Thanksgiving. In most places, it was just Thursday, but I hope you had a nice holiday. We did get to FaceTime briefly. I saw your beautiful young child child and I know you were there with family and we were in North Carolina with our mom and dad, which was great, with a lovely holiday. I went on a six mile hike with my 70 year old father and he had to drag me to the finish line.

That sounds about right, John. Oh, I mean, I, I can run six miles, no problem, but all that up and down is exhausting. I love it. What a good dad. I miss him. I haven't seen it a long time. They're coming soon, though. You know, you can also call. Not that I got any feedback to pass along to you or anything. Let's answer some questions for our listeners. This first one comes from Cambria who writes, dear John and Hank, when I was younger, my mom told me not to take my temperature after I ate food or showered.

I understand the showering, but why shouldn't I take my temperature after I eat food? To this day, I never have. It's always confused me. Help. I'm a font. Cambria. Sorry. It happens to a select few folks. Yeah. You become a font. It's hard out there for all the garramons. Oh, I mean, it's a lot. It's a beautiful name, though. Well, and it's also,

doesn't it refer to a geological period, a really important one? I know. I'd say it, you don't know about the Cambrian period? Is there a science thing I know about? Oh, I thought you were talking about get the Garemon period. Yeah, I know. We're currently in the Garemon period of human history. There's two kind of two proposals for it.

Some people want to call it the Anthropocene or as I've been repeatedly corrected and thropocene. And some people want to call it the garamond era because it's a very important font. Okay. Can we just talk about the wonderful, amazing work you are doing at the Anthropocene reviewed? One, making a good podcast, but more importantly,

working very hard to have this word not be pronounced and thropocene. I really am. I don't know how it's all going to shake out how this gif gif thing is going to go in the end. Yeah. But I'd like to think that if I have one historical legacy, it will be helping to cement the pronunciation anthropocene, which is obviously better. So much better. It would be like pronouncing garamond, garamond. Anyway, Cambria is a font.

And her mom told her not to take her temperature after eating or showering. Right. John, did you know that when you consume food, you are actually burning the cowers. You are, you're doing oxidation in your body. And so there is a fire inside of you, a literal fire burning in your stomach with flames and smoke and gases. This is such a literal fire that I'm kind of doubting that it's really literal. When you fart, that's the smoke.

Okay, so this is all lie. And the reason you can't take your temperature after you eat is because what you ate was probably either very cold, i.e. refrigerated, or very hot, i.e. microwaved. I know there are other ways of heating food, but that's, you know, the usual way. And that's why you can't take your temperature because your mouth is either hot or cold, not normal. That is correct.

And now I am speaking true, true speech, just how I will begin every tweet from now on. Now I am speaking true speech. It can also drinking hot beverages or eating hot food. It increases your body temperature in total, not just in your mouth. Wow. So if you have a big ol' cup of coffee, increases your body temperature in total, not just in your mouth. Wow. So if you have a big ol' cup of coffee, like your whole body gets hotter, which is part of the reason why we do it, because it's cold out and want a big cup of hot cocoa

with coffee in. Interesting. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think you know what a cup of coffee is, but other than that, that was very interesting. I do. I have, during this entire Thanksgiving break, every coffee I have made, I have stirred a spoonful of hot chocolate into it. It is amazing. That's terrible. It is just, it is the most holiday feeling. It's like, it's December. There's hot cocoa in this coffee. I don't remember you being, are you a coffee drinker? I don't recall this about you. Yeah, I drink coffee like once or twice a week. Okay. And then it is always decaf because it makes me very sweaty otherwise.

Oh, you drink decaf coffee. I drink decaffeinated coffee. Yes, it has a lot of caffeine in it for me. Fascinating. Yeah. This is a little bit like in 2007 when I found out that you could play the guitar when you uploaded a video of you playing the guitar and singing a song about Helen Hunt. And I was like, oh my God, Hank can play the guitar? We didn't know each other very well. We did it. Apparently, we still don't know each other that well. I had no idea that you drink decaf coffee and I'm... Oh, man. I love it.

A little bit horrified. What? Why? Well, I'm not here to judge. Well, yeah, you are. This next question comes from Jacqueline who asks, dear Hank and John, I just cut my finger while making a pie. I got stitches.

So I think I'm gonna be okay. And the pie is also fine. But how will my fingerprint grow back? Will it be the same or will I always have a new fingerprint? Pies and paramedics, Jacqueline. I'm sorry to hear about your finger, Jacqueline. That's the worst. It's not the worst.

It's not even close to the worst. I am also sorry to hear about your finger, Jacqueline, but just think of all the many worst things that could have happened. Right, like going bungee jumping a single time or cutting off your entire finger or cutting off your hand. Or I off your hand or I don't know. I was making a joke.

I don't actually need to hear about all the terrible things that might happen to us. Hank, I'm going to write a list for Jacqueline of 400 things that could have happened that would have been way worse. Jacqueline, you could have contracted garamette. You can get it from pie. It's such a dumb joke that I really enjoyed it. Hank, is Jacqueline going to have a new fingerprint? All I know about this is what I've learned from reading mystery novels, so I'm not sure

that I'm a reliable expert on this front. Jacqueline will be just fine, and Jacqueline's fingerprint may be slightly changed. So like the underside of the hand, scars less easily because the skin grows so quickly there. So you may not even have a scar. But if you do have a scar, then your your fingerprint will be changed by that scar. But only in that there will be a line going through where there was once some fingerprint. Right. But they'll still be able to read your fingerprint ultimately. Yes. Yes, especially now.

In the past, that might have obfuscated some fingerprint detection, but only a little bit. Now, if you like actually cut off the pad of your finger accidentally, that will, your finger, God, I know. I got to move on. That's for, oh, God, oh, God. That's how you get, that's how you get Garamond right there. Hank, we have a question from Katrina who writes, dear John and Hank, I was wondering about the new YouTube policy with children content. Will this impact crash course?

I love crash course. It helped me to go into history in a fun way. As a ninth grader, whoo. That's a relief to hear Katrina, because that means you're probably 14. I don't think this is necessary, but I'm not a parent or YouTuber. Hurricane, comma, Katrina.

First off, Hank, I do feel really bad for all the people named Katrina. We should stop naming hurricanes after people. What a horrible idea that was in the first place. Yeah, I mean, it's like one thing when the hurricanes named like John, and it's like a lot of things named John, right? Right. Toilets, you guys got already, I'm sure there's a sandwich called the big John or something.

Yeah. So that's fine. But when you get to a name that's fairly common, but not super common like Katrina, every time you hear that name, from now on, John. Yeah. I'm not super worried about this for our content. Yeah.

Crashcore specifically is clearly not something that is made like primarily for the audience of 13 year olds. So basically for a little bit of context, there is a law in the United States called Kapa or COPPA, I think that basically says that you cannot collect data on the interneting habits of children, which for the sake of the law is defined as people under the age of 13, isn't that right, Hank? Yeah, that's right. That's why you can't create a YouTube account as a person under the age of 13, just why

there are a lot of people who sign up for YouTube at the age of 13 because they're lying. And it's always been pretty clear that YouTube is being used by lots of children under the age of 13. And also YouTube is known this and YouTube has been a place for child-friendly content, but it has not made a lot of efforts to not collect data on the people who are watching those videos. Now, the big question here is because since you can't say for sure whether someone is under the age of 13 without asking them and asking them would be collecting data on them, you have to, what the FTC has said after giving you to be a big fine,

is any content that is specifically made for people under 13 has to be included and you can't collect data on those people, which affects how you monetize, it affects comments. And like, so those videos then won't have comments on them, they won't have, won't be in recommendations in the same way, et cetera. A bunch of different things change. And so this is a big concern because a lot of people aren't sure like whether their content

counts as four kids. Like, you know, maybe it's an animator who is, you know, 20 years old, but you know, kids really like their content, even though it's got a lot of adult jokes or adult themes or it's like about like being in college or it's about working at a subway. But is it, if it's being watched by a lot of 10-year-olds, does that count as being for 10-year-olds? And so it's fuzzy and it is a source of a lot of stress for a lot of creators. I'm not worried about it in terms of Crash Course. If you pick out like the individual things that people are like, I'm really worried

because it says any animated characters, not actually what the guidelines say. They don't say like any animation means you're under a copper. It's not. It's really, it's a holistic thing. They will look at who the content is made for, who watches it.

And in the case of Crash Course, it's pretty clearly largely people over the age of 13. And there are some of our channels that, like especially our literal kids' channels that will be covered by Kappa and that we will have to see how that affects, how they grow and whether they will be sustainable in the future. So we are not worried about Crash Course, but we are sympathetic to people who are worried and whose livelihoods are affected by this. It's complicated.

It's important to have nuanced conversations and difficult to have them. And to be fair, like it's really difficult to have a nuanced conversation when someone tells you one day that you don't have a job anymore. So it is something that the creators are having to think a lot about.

And also it's easy to not know exactly what's going to happen because we literally don't. It's frustrating, that's the scary part. Right. This next question comes from Taylor who writes, what's up, John and Hank? I'd like to take a sealed bottle of frozen water to the airport with me.

Oh my God. Well, Taylor, you're just breaking all the rules. This will not say, dear Hank and John, you're just gonna say, what's up? And also, you just gotta take, this is, this is, you live dangerously. I don't like it. The devil seems to price everything within airport wells

and I'd rather not spend my harder and five dollars on a single bottle of Dessani water. Taylor, I have an incredible solution for you, but we'll get to it. I know they don't allow liquids through TSA, but is my bottle of frozen water a liquid or a solid? Lucuits need a Taylor. That's true, that's how they work.

John. I know the answer to this question, and it's a huge surprise. I was also shocked. Yes. And if your bottle is solidly frozen, Yes. And it's not slushy,

and there's no visible liquid that it's okay to bring on the plate. It is. You can bring it right through. It is. I don't know why. I don't know why either. But, but Taylor.

But you got to have a short drive to the airport. Taylor. Taylor. Get this at the airport after you go through security. There are these things called water fountains that distribute water for free. Free water. Right. And the great thing about this is that you aren't like at the gate, like sticking your tongue

into a frozen bottle of water and trying to warm it up just like, oh, oh,, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, in supporting airport businesses. They are locally owned, family operated, wonderful businesses. But Taylor, if you wanna rob the airport of your $3, I highly recommend the water fountain. You know, I have been an airport so I've had a hard time finding a water fountain. Really? And also sometimes. Well, to be fair, the Indianapolis International Airport is literally the best airport in the

world. And I'm not saying that as a person with bias, I'm saying that it has like one best airport in the world for 17 consecutive years. I'm very proud of you and your airport. It's such a great airport. Oh my God. Everything about it is amazing. I'm weirdly proud of your pride in your airport.

If I die, hang in the Indianapolis airport. It's gotta be over. You know how when like a extreme sports person dies doing their extreme sport and people say, oh, well, you know, it's terrible, it's such a tragedy, but at least they died doing what they loved. If I die in the Indianapolis airport, I want you to know that I died doing what I love.

Waiting for a plane in the Indianapolis airport. Um, I mean, that's great. The the Missoula airport is also lovely. And I believe in there, and there are water fountains. It's okay. It's doing, but it is currently undergoing a metamorphosis in that it will be an entirely new building in three years in which no single brick will remain. Yeah, I know. I read about it in airport weekly, one of the many blogs that I follow very closely related to airports and air travel. But Hank, yeah, speaking of the Missoula Airport renovation, which I have already spent a lot of time thinking about. Do you think that they will find a way to still have all those like chainsaw wooden bear animal sculptures they have? Oh yeah, no. I mean, what you got to know about installing a 10-foot tall

chainsaw forest ranger and the lobby of your airport is that once it's there, no one's ever going to let you get rid of it. It's, that's permanent. As soon as there's something that weird, most people are gonna not care, but there's gonna be about, there's gonna be about 300 people who care so much about your giant forest ranger

that that guy is gonna be there in the year 2,500. Yeah, I mean, humans won't. But the giant chain sawed forest, there will be kudzu growing over that very sculpture. I'm sorry, what was the question? No idea. Yeah, you could take ice through TSA. What's the next?

For some reason, you could take ice through TSA, but also I'm very worried about your ability to drink the water and not look like a complete maniac. Use a water fountain. Yeah, just use a water fountain. I was once in an airport and I couldn't find a water fountain and I was very frustrated and angry about it. So I went into the bathroom to fill it from a faucet

but there was only one button in the water came out hot and I just about died of rage. Mm. I think that we should stop answering questions and just make this Hank and John's airport stories. We're doing it for like 20 minutes. I think we're on a good roll. And I think we should just, I think we should just rank airports right now.

Number last LAX. Yeah. it's right now number last LAX. I once was at LAX in the security line backed up into the parking garage. All right, John, I have a question for you that that I want to answer. It's from Bridget. It says, dear Hank and John, at what age are you supposed to use the money in your childhood piggy bank? I'm 20 years old. I'm in college. And there is probably a double digit number of dollars of change just sitting in my childhood bedroom.

Can I just empty it out and use it for groceries or is that some kind of betrayal of my childhood dreams? I can't remember exactly what I was saving up for, but I have to believe it was something more exciting than instant noodles. Dubious advice would be appreciated. Your favorite bridge, it. No, that's good because you ask people what their favorite bridge is as an icebreaker. Every time I have forgotten that about you, somebody writes in to remind me that you have

to readjust and be that person's brother again. The guitar playing, decaf coffee drinking favorite bridge guy. This is a great question. I feel like you can spend it on groceries for whatever, but what's devastating, and I have a vivid memory of this, is when you go to coin star or the bank or whatever. And it turns out that all of your childhood savings is like $12. That's still a double digit number of dollars. So like the real problem here is Bridget, you needed when you were, when you were like 14 years old, you needed to break this baby open and go get like a bunch of fudge rounds or something. Yes. Like just be like, I can buy whatever I want and what I want is every single York peppermint patty they have.

Right. Back when that mattered, back when that would be great. How many Mentos would you like, sir? Oh, I'd like all of them. Thank you. You mean I could just have a Reese's peanut butter cup? I can just have one. Yeah. So Bridget, what you want to do with this money is you want to do something very slightly

transgressive. Maybe, maybe it's like, man, I haven't had orange soda in a long time. And I would like to have two liters of orange soda or 14 liters of orange soda. And you just, you go all in. Oh, oh, I just, I don't know why I had this idea, but I think this is very good. You gotta go, you gotta take your piggy bank, break it open, go to the coin star, get that money, take that money to the place

where they sell plants. And you're gonna buy the most expensive plant you can buy with this. So probably a small cactus. And then you will take that small cactus and you will leave it on a stranger's doorstep. And they will see it and they will think I have been given a small cactus. And then that will inform their entire day, possibly week, maybe a year, maybe whole life. This strange cactus that appeared in their life and you won't know that you won't know how it affected them. You won't know if they just threw it away. life and you won't know that, you won't know how it affected them, you won't know if they just threw it away or if they like had to take care of this cactus their whole life,

but you can think about it and you can know that in that one way, you a stranger have changed that other person a stranger. I like that idea, but I think I would still probably get fudge rounds. Do love fudge rounds. I mean, just you saying the words fudge rounds made me They're so good. Made me taste fuddrowns. It was like a Pavlovian response. And I haven't had a fuddrown in a solid 20 years. Oh, I have.

And now I know what I'm doing after we make the podcast. But we have to answer this vitally important question from Orin, not your son. Although, like your son, this question made me feel very old. Dear John and Hank, what are the noises that landlines make when you dial a phone number? Oh boy. Like those different pitches for each number.

Do they actually mean anything? I'm a teen, but I know what a landline is, or in barely. Wait, wait, all they know now is what a landline is. They don't know, oh God. Of course. I mean, even growing up, I didn't know what the noises were for. Well, so we had a rotary phone when you were very little.

And the rotary phone would make a certain number of clicks depending on what number you dialed and you literally dialed it instead of just pushing a button. And then that number of clicks would connect it to a certain other number, basically with the advent of touchpad telephones. Yeah, they call them touchtone phones. They used different tones to achieve that same goal, which is why there were people, when Hank and I were a kid, who would have very good pitch, and would basically be able to trick the phone company

into dialing whatever number they wanted to. Yeah. And also, there were noises that your phone can't make, but other devices can to talk to the computer and they would figure out how to make those noises that your phone can't make, but that influence the computer at AT&T or wherever. And then they would use that knowledge to basically make free, long calls. Yeah. Which at the time, you want to talk about transgressive, free long distance calls. Oh my god. I mean, it felt like a whole world was open to you. Yeah. I suspect that Orin is not familiar with the idea of a domestic long distance phone call. Why 100 call ATT?

Oh man, I dialed 1-800 call ATT a lot. Yeah. And that was the like, that was the cheap one. That was the better one. Yeah. A somewhat low quality connection so that you could get the discount rate of 10 cents a minute.

Oh gosh. I had to completely not realized until you said it that dial, when you're dialing a phone, we still say that. We still say you're gonna dial the number, but it was because there was a dial. Yeah.

Like an actual dial. Yeah. Which reminds me that this podcast, like, literally everything in 1996 is brought to you by 1-800-CALL-ATT. Every single advertisement that existed, 1-800 ATT. I kind of want to call to see what happens. It really was like 97% of all television advertising in 1996. And also that reminds me Hank that we couldn't be recording this podcast right now for free.

Oh God. Yeah. Without this communications revolution that I completely take for free. Oh, God, yeah. Without this communications revolution that I completely take for granted. But that didn't sponsor today's podcast. So we're not gonna talk about it. Today's podcast is instead sponsored by ice bottles, ice bottles, as long as they have not even slightly melted, you can get through TSA with them. And this podcast is also brought to you by the 10-foot giant wooden forest ranger inside

of the Mizzoula International Airport. It can't go through security because it literally wouldn't fit. And of course, today's podcast, Laura on the subject of airports, is brought to you by Airport Weekly, my favorite magazine. Hank, I really want to answer this question from Adam who writes, dear John and Hank. So Bill Gates has like a bunch of money. And so do tons of other people like Elon Musk. My question is, could Bill Gates cure cancer? If Gates just donated a billion or even two billion dollars to cancer research, wouldn't that just cure cancer?

He's never going to spend that money anyways. Do billionaires like Bill Gates and Elon Musk have the power to solve our biggest problems? And if so, why don't they? So Adam, this is a great question, but the short answer is that no single billionaire has the resources to cure cancer. In part, because we don't really know what the medical breakthroughs will be. We don't know where to put that research money most effectively, but we know that no single individual has that amount of money because we spend billions and billions of dollars every year on cancer research and we make progress. We have made progress, a lot of progress in the last 20 years and much more progress in the last 60 years. But yeah, we play so much weight on these few individuals who do control a ton of wealth. Oh, I would argue far too much wealth. And I would

argue that they have a responsibility to give the vast majority of it back. But the truth is that millionaires in the United States control much more wealth in total than billionaires do. And we almost never talk about that because we're so focused on billionaires. And what really drives change in terms of health, whether it's, you know, addressing malaria or HIV or tuberculosis in impoverished countries or or chronic diseases in wealthy ones, what really drives change is public spending. And governments spend much more on research than any individual could. And to me, it's really about finding ways to tax corporations and individuals appropriately. And then using that money wisely, because public money is much bigger and more powerful than even the wealthiest individual. Yeah, because people working together are bigger than any one person, and that's like a clear truth, and that's the, you know, the justification out cancer is super complicated. It is not one disease. It is many diseases, oftentimes, overlapping with each other.

It is many things that go wrong in order for this one thing to become something that is negatively affecting health. That has been an ongoing story that has been like a huge bummer for people who do this research, because it turns out that there is no cure for cancer. And there aren't even individual cures for individual cancers because each prostate cancer is slightly different from the next. And sometimes they involve the same mutations and sometimes they involve ones we've never seen before.

So that nut is particularly difficult to crack. Yes. However, there are easier nuts to crack in HIV and tuberculosis and many diseases that are preventable by vaccines, many diseases that are preventable by having access to clean water. And those things, there is money out there. Like the resources are currently available to save those lives. And we aren't doing it. And we know exactly how to do it and we aren't. And we aren't doing it. All right, John, for a more serious question, this one comes from Elisof who says,

do you're Hank and John? I have been wondering, are stickers stuck in weird places going to be our civilization's cave art? In 40,000 years, will some teens hiking through the Gallic countryside discover an ancient underground cavern and absolutely filled with Andre the giant

and pregnant-ary-style stickers under the right conditions, would they still be like comprehensible? And most importantly, would they still smell like bananas? Archaeology is cool, Elysef. So Hank, while I was researching scratch and sniff stickers for the Anthropocene Review, I talked to some chemists about the microincapsulation technology that allows scratch and sniff stickers to work. And from what I could gather, it is unlikely that 40,000 years from now, those micro encapsules will still

be encapsulating scent. So I don't think our scratch and sniff stickers will work. But in the right circumstances, couldn't our pregnant Harry style stickers still be out there? Yeah, Harry style. Well, I think that some of the main thing that you're looking at here is chemical reactions that are happening. And the things that are going to affect that are the internal chemical reactions. So if the paper that the sticky stuff is on, if the paper has some acid in it, that acid might diffuse into the sticky stuff and break the sticky stuff is on if the paper has some acid in it, that acid might diffuse into

the sticky stuff and break the sticky stuff down, or there might be just like the sticky stuff itself isn't perfectly chemically stable. And as the years goes on, it will become less sticky. But there are, there is definitely sticky stuff that that won't happen with. I don't know if it's on the backs of any commercially available stickers, but yeah, but okay, but okay. So even if the stickers fall off of this hypothetical cave while Hank, imagine teenagers of the future, like, you know, unearthing a cave. And I don't care if the stickers are on the ground. I just care if you could still see pregnant Harry styles. Yeah, if it's dark in that cave and if it's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

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If we kill all the plants, that will be a problem. I think the plants will make it with or without us. I think the plants will make it. It's the motto of 2019. Hank, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC, when we'll then I want to share with you a few comments that people wrote in with. Oh, wait, you didn't do the million dollar idea. Oh, I don't need to. All right.

There were a lot of people who wrote in. It's time for a million dollar idea, another million dollar idea. Somebody thought it on the internet. It's a million dollar idea, million dollar idea, a sensor on the front of your car that sinks your turn signal with the turn signal in front of you. So that happens. It's just chef's kiss. So this solves a problem that is a problem for me

and I might pay to have it solved. Like it makes me so uncomfortable that my turn signal is never in sync with other turn signals. I don't think that you could solve this problem just with a sensor, though. Like I think it would be a much more complicated solve. But when we live in the age of autonomous cars, I hope that this is one of the things they fix. Do you know who wrote this million dollar idea on Twitter, John?

Who? It was Hank Green. It's a pretty, I mean, also it is. It's a much better million dollar idea on Twitter, John. Who? It was Hank Green. It was a pretty, I mean, also it is. It's a much better million dollar idea than our million dollar idea from last time, which was hot soap. Hot soap. So it was hot soap that is already hot. And several people rode in Hank to point out something that we did not notice that is 99% likely, which I will

read you for instance, Janelle's comment, have you considered that this was a typo? Perhaps the person meant hot soup that is already already hot. I mean, there's somehow comes in a can that is insulated so you don't need to heat it up in the microwave. Oh, I see. Rather than a hot soup that is already hot. And one, I read that, I was like, oh, of course, that's still a terrible idea, but it's at least an idea I can understand.

Yeah. Yeah, instead of being like, ah, my soap, it hurts. I want pain soap. So like you can get hot soup. It's available in lots of places. They've always got soup at the grocery store and it's already hot and it's delicious. Don't I've told you about my million dollar soup idea? What is your million dollar soup idea? We'll talk about it afterward.

I don't want to give it away. It's too good. I can't. You all don't understand those few listening. Don't understand how many million dollar ideas I have to suffer through with Hank. It's constant. To be fair though, occasionally, he does have an actual million dollar idea. I don't think the soup one is going to be an example. Hank also Ben wrote in to say, Hi, long time listener and vlog brothers fans since 2009 just wanted to say I met one of my closest friends because of the outfit I chose to wear to a mountain goat's concert. Thank you. Recall somebody wrote in to say they're going to a mountain's goat mountain. They're going to a concert. They didn't know what shirt to wear. We both showed up

like an hour and a half early to make sure we were in the very front and we both were all black because of the song, Where Black, which is a great song. We ended up talking for the rest of the waiting time and then went on afterwards and talked for hours after the show and we're still great friends to this day. Oh man. So Ben, this is way too much pressure. I don't, I don't want to think that I might because this is what I want to have happen. Yeah, I always want that to happen, but it never does happen. It never will. Unless you wear your pizza, John shirt, two-mountain goats concert. That's right. And then it might maybe or wear all black. Don't expect it though. Hank, yeah, I've actually been

following some news from Mars. Oh good. This week, I've been reading a lot about the drill that won't drill and the reasons for it. It's fascinating, but what is your news from Mars this week? Well, this week in Mars news, scientists think they might have an idea of what happened to the planet's water and it might be dust towers. What?

So dust storms on Mars drive the creation of concentrated dust clouds, which get lifted above the surface of Mars and they form this tower of dust. It's not an actual physical tower of dust. It's a tower of dust in the atmosphere. They can be massive. They might start out the size of Rhode Island,

closer to the surface and then 50 miles up, they can reach about the width of Nevada. So to the surface and then 50 miles up, they can reach about the width of Nevada. So like 320 miles wide. Dust storms are really common on Mars and dust towers also happen throughout the year, though they only usually last around a day, but sometimes dust storms get pretty intense and take over the whole planet like in 2018. The storm that ended the opportunity rovers mission. And during that storm, multiple dust towers were seen

that lasted up to three to five weeks. And now scientists are interested in whether those dust towers can act as JPL described in their official press release, like space elevators with the rising heated dust bringing gases like water vapor up into the tower and into the upper atmosphere where the water vapor might then be broken down by solar radiation into hydrogen and oxygen or ozone.

And scientists have seen water molecules getting broken down in the upper atmosphere of Mars in a 2007 global dust storm. And dust towers might explain how that water gets up there. So they're still working to understand and model how these towers are formed and what they might mean for Mars's water and the history of water on the planet. That's amazing. Yeah, dust towers.

Sucking it up. The universe is so weird. It is weird, I love it. Right, it's like, it's a space elevator, which would be cool, but it's a space elevator that just takes water from Mars and puts it in space,, which would be cool, but it's a space elevator that just takes water from Mars and puts it in space, which is not as cool.

Like that's not my, yeah, not as cool. If I were designing a space elevator for Earth, I wouldn't have it do that. I will say, Hank, it is very similar to something that happens in the movie Space Balls, where you will recall there is a large vacuum cleaner. Yeah. That just sucks all of the planet off of the planet. Yeah. I mean, space balls is obviously a movie that was deeply concerned with scientific accuracy. It was in this case, they really did predict the future. Well, the news

from A.C. Wimbledon is terrible. Oh, it's really bad. And it's like way worse than just winning or losing a game. Oh, it's all terrible. And it's going to take than just winning or losing a game. It's all terrible. And it's going to take me a minute to explain to you. Okay. But I have to talk about it. Okay. First off, our captain, Will Knight and Gale, who has been with the club since he was a kid, has had a very bad injury. And he has had a surgery on his hip. And then the manager, Glenn Hodges said, quote, when they operated on it, it was worse than what they suspected. So that's all we know about Will Knight and Gail's injury at the moment. He will, will be out for, quote, an extended period of time. Difficult not to have your captain. Also, when you're a team that scores

very few goals, difficult not to have your captain. Also, when you're a team that scores very few goals, difficult not to have your best defender. Then more recently, news broke that AFC Wimbledon have a very significant budget shortfall for the building of the new stadium of around a 11 million pounds. They thought they would be able to get a bank loan. So far, they've been unable to do that. And even if they did at that level of bank loan, the cost of servicing the debt would make it very difficult to have a playing budget appropriate for the third tier or even the fourth tier, potentially, of English football. So that is not great. So the good news is that it seems like Chelsea FC, which now owns Kingsmeadow Stadium, will be open to letting Wimbledon continue to play there, at least for another season.

So thank you, Chelsea, as a sentence I never thought I'd say. And then I don't know. It's hard. It's a hard thing to figure out. I hope that even though this is a really difficult situation, they'll find a way to stick together through it. Oof.

Well, that sounds hard. And thank you for making a podcast with... No, it's great fun. We're off to record now our Patreon only podcast, Cold Takes, where we have the coldest takes on the news from yesterday year. You can find that at patreon.com slash deerhankinjo.

I'm gonna roll my dice right now. We're gonna look at the news from this day five years ago. I'm excited. This podcast is a co-production of Complexly at W.L.N.Y.C. Studios. It's edited by Joseph Tuna Mettish. Stay 5 years ago. Don't forget to be awesome.