Dear Hank & John - 224: The Octopuscene

Episode Date: January 27, 2020

What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? When does the Anthropocene end? How do I get my boyfriend to take ghost travel seriously? What does Kindle highlighting say about humanity? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail]! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Where's I firt to think of it, Dear John and Hank? It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, did you know that you cannot smile and breathe through your nose at the same time? I'm doing it right now. That joke might not have made you laugh, but it did make you smile, John.

It's funny. It's funny, it did make me smile. You're right. It sounds successful, joke. If it seems like Hank's not in the best mood, by the way, it's because just before we started the podcast, Hank had a dongle issue, and I know that we've already covered dongles in the podcast, and we don't like to repeat ourselves, but Hank had a dongle issue and I know that we've already covered dongle in the podcast and we don't like to repeat ourselves, but yeah.

Hank had a dongle issue where he went on a like fine, Hank got so angry about having spent $20 on a dongle that didn't work that I honestly thought he might like rage quit the podcast and I don't mean this episode of the podcast. I was thinking maybe Hank's never gonna record this podcast again. I'm done with podcasts. I'm done. I, oh, yeah. So when I'm working on operating on VM,

my Bluetooth headset that I've recently charged. So hopefully it will stick around with us for the whole podcast. Otherwise, maybe I am done. John, maybe I'm done. Great, all right. Maybe the technology required to make a podcast is just too much.

Yeah. I'm fine. Real hard to find Bluetooth headphones in 2020. I'm fine. I lost my headphones in the airport, and so I went to the airport store, and all of the, everything was more expensive than this dongle. This dongle was $21 at the airport store and all of the everything was more expensive than this dongle. This dongle was $21 at the airport store. And it is, I don't know, maybe

the single simplest piece of equipment, it can't have cost more than the packaging it came inside in. Imagine having listened to this for 20 minutes before the podcast started and still still being listening to it. That's the situation in which I find myself. This first question comes from Hope who asked, dear John and Hank, what happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? When I was a kid, I just thought they went up into space and floated around or whatever. But now I'm starting to think, maybe they come down at some point.

Thanks. Well, I know the answer to this question, unfortunately. So I can't riff too much. Yeah, I mean, I like the idea that they just go up into space and they become satellites. That's an awesome idea And it would also or if it's not just space It's just to go forever and then like what's out there? I don't know what's out there. Who knows what's out there? They just go and until I can't see them anymore Yeah, they're like the Voyager spacecraft.

Exactly. Yeah. They just go forever. That's not what happens. No, that's not what happens. What happens is that they fly for a while and then they come down. So if you change the pressure outside of the balloon, the pressure inside stays the same and the pressure, the balloon will expand. So usually they get to a point where they're in a low enough pressure area that they will pop and then fall down is just like piece a little hunk of plastic. Usually, sometimes they will survive. Now that may be true, but let me tell you about an experiment in 1984 at Audubon Park Elementary School that you definitely could not do today.

We all took helium balloons. We attached notes to them. Okay. That said, like, hey, if you find this balloon, call my home phone number. Sure. And mine flew all the way to a popka. That's it. And it landed. And some lady in a popka called me. And she was like, I live 95 miles away from you, or maybe 45. And I found your balloon and I was like, this is amazing. Science, I didn't learn anything, but it felt like science.

Well, that's great because most of those balloons landed directly inside of turtles who then died. So yours had the best possible outcome. They just flew straight into the turtle mouth and it's just right around their face. So yeah, look, I'm happy to say that we should not be releasing tons of balloons into the air and just hoping for the best because that's just obviously gonna be bad for turtles

and also lots of other things. Let's move on. This next question comes from Grace because we have hope in Grace and I assume that we will have charity coming next. Dear Hank and John says grace, one of the requirements for my graduate school application is to record myself talking about myself for 60 seconds.

I give presentations all the time at work, so I thought this would be easy. Nope. First of all, 60 seconds is so short. Second, I just keep blubbering and staring at myself while recording is really distracting. What is your process for recording videos of yourself? How do I get over it feeling awkward, Grace?

Well Grace, first step is to do it for 15 straight years. Yeah. I mean, if you go back and you look at our early videos, Grace, we're pretty uncomfortable staring into the camera lens. Yeah. That's the first thing I'd say. The second thing I'd say is this is ludicrous. This is a terrible suggestion for a graduate school application.

It is bad. I don't know. Unless it's a graduate school for vlogging. Yeah, totally. Unless it is actually testing your ability to look into a camera lens and pretend that it is a person, I cannot see how it could possibly be helpful. Oh my God. There's just so many great examples of people thinking

that they're going to be able to know something about a stranger quickly. And always being wrong, you just can't. Yeah, such as you asking strangers what their favorite bridge is would be one example. What's your favorite bridge? It tells you way more than any of this other stuff. It shouldn't say 60 seconds on cat. It should just say, what's your favorite bridge? It tells you way more than any of this other stuff. It shouldn't say 60 seconds on,

it should just say, what's your favorite bridge that should be the only question on the application? I do have actual tips for you though. I'm interested to hear your tips because I don't have this exact problem, but once every year or two, I do have to record a new voicemail message. Oh my God, yes.

I might do 400 takes. And then in the end, I just give up, and it ends up being something like, hello, I'm afraid, and I can't remember from source to say my name or just my phone number, but right, but if you recognize this, if you recognize my voice, please, please just even, yeah, I'm not even gonna listen to this.

Who are we kidding, beep? Who is ever gonna listen to the voicemail message anyway? First, you have to script it. I'm sorry, you just do. And that doesn't mean you have to say all the exact same words, but you have to write down the thing that you would like to say, because otherwise there's no way to fit it into 60 seconds.

And that is a ludicrously short amount of time to do anything, but that is what they have told you to do. So do it. That's one of the main things about applications is doing things as you are instructed, is one of the things they're testing you for. The second, you don't have to be looking at yourself. So you can turn that away, frame yourself up, flip the screen the other way, and just record

it, and don't stare into your own eyes while you talk, which can be terrible. And then finally, do a thousand takes and then come back the next day and do five. That's good advice. Yeah. Actually. Which is also my voice mail advice to you, John. Honestly, Grace, I think the main thing is going to be fulfilling the objectives. So making your video exactly 60 seconds long is smart. And I mean, look, when reading this question, I kept thinking, what would I say in 175 words about myself that didn't feel like I was trying too hard

or didn't feel like I was trying to be impressive or didn't feel like I was nervous. Like that's what I hate about this assignment and I realize grace that me disliking the assignment doesn't make things better for you. But what I dislike about the assignment is that it puts so much pressure. Just tell me about yourself.

I hate that question so much. Yeah, you just gotta be like, look, if I was a mosquito, I would want to bite people on their knee pit. But I'm not a mosquito. I'm a human. And so I fly toward different lights, but let's face it, I'm just doing whatever I think in this moment is best for me. And then turn off the camera.

Okay Hank, our next question comes from charity. Who asks, dear John and Hank, in your last vlog with this video, you mentioned that you were planning to write a thank you note every month this year? No, no, no, no, no, charity. First off, your name is Teresa. Secondly. Okay.

Secondly, I'm writing a thank you note every day this year. As we are recording this, I have written 23 thank you notes. Wow. And it's January 20th, so I'm actually ahead of schedule. Are they more than just like thank you, like thank you tweets, because I do those fairly frequently. Uh, just like. No, I'm not writing thank you tweets. I am writing handwritten thank you notes that fill an entire card. Wow. This is part of a larger practice that is completely transforming my life. Anyway, that's not Teresa's question. I love that idea,

but I was wondering who you're gonna be thanking for what? Since we don't tend to get actual gifts every month, are you gonna be like thanking in a less literal direction, or are you just like working through old physical gifts? So. Oh, Teresa, Teresa, is this the only reason you thank people? Well, yeah. So a lot of the thank you notes that I'm writing are to people who have donated

to support the maternal center of excellence in Sierra Leone. So that's a huge percentage of thank you notes that I'm writing. But I am also writing thank you notes to for instance, my in-laws for hosting us over Christmas. I've written a thank you note to my long-time mentor for her support over the years culminating in the making of the Looking for Alaska Hulu show. When I was doing this in November, like for instance, I wrote a thank you note to an artist whose work I really like and have liked for a long time, but when you like something quietly,

that person doesn't know. You know, like, it's really good. And I think that I'm not doing that, but I would like to. The thing is once you start writing thank you notes, you realize that you have more, I have way more than 365 to write.

I'm never going to run out of people to thank. And I should add as a post script to this question that until about six months ago, I found the practice of writing thank you notes, a bohorrent on every level. And I hated it. Well, that's the thing. And when I had to write thank you notes for my wedding, I presented every second of that process, but I have lately come to a different way of thinking, which may also be temporary. Right, of course, as is the case with most epiphany.

Yeah, I wouldn't call this, this is not an epiphany so much as a growing awareness, I guess. But I noticed that a lot of people, when they get older, start writing more thank you notes. And so I don't think that I'm like some like explorer of gratitude. I'm more like landing on the same shore that everyone my age lands on. Yeah. Well, I mean, the other thing to be completely transparent about this is that I don't know if you know this Hank, but right

now Liverpool are very, very, very good. What the heck is going on? Why was talking about sports suddenly? Get me. Tell me why. As a result of being very, very good, we are participating in a lot of competitions, the Champions League, the Premier League, the FA Cup, etc. And that means that there's a lot of Liverpool games to watch.

And I like to exercise while I watch Liverpool games, but there are so many Liverpool games right now that I actually can't healthfully exercise during every single one of them. So I need something to do during the extra leg two to four hours a week, the Liverpool. Wait, you're saying you can't healthfully exercise during every Liverpool game. What are the Liverpool players doing? Well, Hank, believe it or not, they're in significantly better shape than me. Muhammad Salad recently ripped off his shirt after scoring a goal in the 93rd minute against Manchester United. And oh my god, I mean, you get a yellow card for taking your shirt off. But like, if I were shaped like him, I would, I would get a yellow card in every game.

John would, John would be clothed in yellow cards because people would just be I would get a yellow card right at kickoff because I wouldn't be wearing my shirt at the start of the game. Yeah, no, Sarah would give you yellow cards just in the kitchen. know Sarah would give you yellow cards just in the kitchen. John, I think that this question is somewhat related and it's going to be, it's going to be a while before we get to how it's related, but it comes from Emily who asks, dear, Hanken, John, I heard on Wait, wait, don't tell me that bees can feel happy and sad. When I tried to Google more information, the first result was a

national help line. Google more information. The first result was a national help line. For bees. I don't know. So beautiful. Yeah. I mean, that's great. Actually, it's good that Google right. It's encouraging to me that Google is is is is trying to identify all of the potential problems. Our bees have like that. So even scrolling down, I couldn't find the study they were talking about, so I stopped searching, but now I really want to know, can bees feel happy and sad? Just a poet concerned for if bees need poems too, Emily.

Emily, I want to congratulate you on several different things, but the first one, you know, caring for bees, obviously. Second, hearing something on Weight Weight don't tell me in thinking, that is an interesting fact, but I don't want to say it out loud until I confirm it on the internet. Because Peter Sago, God love him, doesn't always get things 100% right.

Now, I will direct you to a new scientist article called, don't worry, be happy to ease in that bee. Bees found to have emotions and moods. And I think that this is probably the study you're looking to find. Now, here's, here's what happiness means for B's. We can't ask a B if it's happy, but people behave differently when they are happy. They are more likely to assume that something positive is happening when something new is happening. They also have a faster recovery from an unpleasant experience. So we can't test B's to see if they're happy, but we can test to see how quickly they

recover and we can test sort of how optimistic they are. So if we give bees sugar water, they become more optimistic about going into an unknown space. So they take that risk more frequently. And also if we grab a B and confine it, which simulates kind of a predator thing, like it's been grabbed and it's sort of struggling to get away, the B recovers from that more quickly

and becomes more adventurous if it is recently had a feeding session, if it's come across something that's tasty. So the scientists are like, it looks like the bees are behaving differently because they have had a positive experience. And that looks to us like happiness, ish. And I would like to apply this to John Green's ability

to engage in these gratitude sessions and the success of Liverpool Football Club. Like, I don't want to say that one is dependent upon the other, but it seems like there's something there. Well, who knows if my feeling grateful to be alive is causing Liverpool to be successful? Or if Liverpool being successful is causing me to be grateful to be alive, but I cannot pretend

Hank. Yeah. Like it doesn't matter. On my favorite soccer podcast, Men and Blazers, they often point out that having your team succeed does not make you a better person and having your team not do well does not make you a worse person. And that is true, except that when Liverpool are successful, I am vastly more gracious, patient, understanding, empathetic.

Oh my God. My God. It's terrible. It's awful. I feel like this should be traceable. It feels like we should be able to tell if the entire city of Liverpool is marginally happier. Well, they got a lot of Everton fans in Liverpool who are having a really, really bad time with

it. So that's a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you'd have to say like our Liverpool fans happier when Liverpool have not lost a game in the league for over a year. And the answer is, yeah. I mean, I don't know that we need to design some like intense B experiment where we can find Liverpool fans into a small space. I think

we can just like call them on Monday morning after a Liverpool win and be like, how you feeling? And Liverpool fans on average will be like, pretty good. Wimbleton also won this week, and that a really good week. All right. Hannah wrote in to ask, dear John and Hank, I was listening to John's fantastic solo podcast, The Anthropocene Reviewed, and something occurred to me. When does the era we call the Anthropocene end? Are these times marked by some catastrophic event like the Cretaceous period ending in that big meteor thing? I'm summarizing the question. Will anyone even be around to name the next geologic era,

not from Montana, Hannah? Yeah, Hannah. I mean, one of the uncomfortable things about the anthropocene is that it is the last geologic era. Just like, no. I mean, after that, the earth will continue to change in ways that are Geologically significant, but there will be no one around to name them and the tree falling in the woods That has nobody to hear it makes no sound

But there would still be eras in the sense that like they are humanly named, but they are not human creations So there are geologic, there were geologic errors before humans came around and there will be again. They are marked by differences in geology. Our disagreement Hank is over whether or not humans observing something. Yes. Makes it. But not over whether humans will be around to see the next geologic era. Right. I'm not going to say that 100%. It does seem a little, it's just a long time. But the thing about the anthropocene is that it is not the age in which humans live. That's not what makes it the anthropocene. The anthropocene is the difference in geology created

by humans, just like there are areas that were differences in geology created by other very large changes that happened on Earth and usually pretty disruptive changes. So just to be clear, your best case scenario is humans go back to being a relatively insignificant species. Well, regardless, like, even if they become insignificant, it will still be the Anthropocene because those changes will have still occurred. Like, the world will still be the Anthropocene because those changes will have still occurred. Like, the world will still be... Right, it will be the Anthropocene for a long time

until it's something else. And I would argue by the time it's something else, if we're not here to observe it and name it, it doesn't really matter what it is. Well, I think that it matters, which is just like my, like, I believe that like the geological eras of Mars matter, you know. And I think that even if this was an uninhabited solar system, like those, that would still be

interesting information for some sentient lifeform to know about. And that it would be a piece of data. Right, but there will be no sentient lifeform to know about it is the point. But there might be the thing like so here are two ways that there could be sentient lifeforms to know about it is the point. But there might be the thing, like so here are two ways that there could be sentient life forms to know about it. One would be if another one evolved and there were octopodes walking around on the surface of Earth and like opening jars and doing chemistry and I don't know why opening jars was an important one, but doing chemistry and and and setting up an internet of some of the one touring test, no artificial intelligence can pass.

I mean, octopuses can already open jars. I was gonna say, but by that definition, octopuses have succeeded. They're here. It did. It's happened. Get ready, everybody, for the true war. They get to name the next geologic error.

It's gonna be the octopacine. It's going to be the octopacine. I can't wait for the octopacine. So that's one. You're absolutely right, by the way, and I'm wrong. Yeah, like life will continue and there may be another like human like species on this planet. In fact, there's lots of great fiction about this. Like the future sentient life forms on Earth,

like looking back and being like, there was this other like group of people and like, what was their technology like? And there were sort of like monkeys and like, this is really strange. So I love that stuff. Additionally, there could be a long period of time of humans sort of going back to a more natural ecosystem role, unlike instead of like a more sort of sociological cultural role that we have on the planet now, and then coming back and doing it again. So that's something that could happen. Or even it could be like,

that could be a decision that was made where we'd sort of decide to stay in that role and it becomes a culturally taboo to move outside of it. And then of course, the third one being someone from somewhere else comes by to see what things are like. And I just like, that might not be, actual people beaming down to the planet's surface

and being like, let's do some research. But I think that what we are learning is that as time goes on, we are better and better at observing the rest of the universe. And so maybe people in the future and other, other, you know, solar systems would be good at observing Earth from a long way away and being interested in how things went here. Yeah. Just as like, I think that we will be able to, hopefully in my life, observe other places and be like, it'd be interesting to see what went down in that solar system. You're right. and all of those are good examples of how there will be geologic errors after the

Anthropocene, not only in the sense that they will happen, but also in the sense that they might have observers. I think that having observers is essential to to to to meaning. Yeah. To experience to meaning, to constructing meaning. But I think you But I think you're right on all three fronts. And one of the things I try to remind myself of is that humans have only been like really, really interesting for about like 12,000 years. Right. Well, yeah, so, so we got to get through this, what I like think of as as a bit of a bottle neck that we've got coming up And see how we do on the other side of it if we make it there

Aruna asks dear John and Hank my boyfriend leaves all his kitchen in bedroom closets open all the time Does he not know that this is how ghosts travel from house to house? How do I get him to stop this behavior? Holder Geiss and penguins Aruna So Hank I do not know about this. Did you know about this? No, this is totally new, but I love it. It makes perfect sense. But maybe you want them to get out of your house, though. Maybe he thinks that they're in there already and you need to leave doors open so they leave.

You can't trap them inside. So I think that this is a cultural thing. Okay. Is it? Alternately, this is really how ghosts travel. What do I know? So I mentioned this to four people I know, one of whom was like, who would ever leave their closet door open?

That's how ghosts travel from place to place. And three of whom were like, I have no idea what you're talking about. John, I have just asked on Twitter, do ghosts travel into your house through open closet doors? Oh, yeah, that's a good place to ask. So I assume that the reason the boyfriend is leaving all of his closet doors open is to prevent a monster's ink situation where the monster is hiding in the closet and then scares you. When you open, if the closet door is just always open,

then there's no real scare, scare opportunity as I call it. So here's a question. Can we, $1 million idea make a ghost cam? Yeah. That you can point at your closets to let you know. Yeah.

Situations, re-ghosts. Yeah, what you do, Hank, is you use the existing technology from Pokemon Go. And then you just have, you know, you have the occasional ghost show up, and people are really freaking out. Yeah, they're like, oh, I'm really glad I got this technology. It is actually, it is really a work. I just realized it's a ghost cam. I didn't know that there's ghosts on every street corner and extra ghosts at the post office because it's a ghost Jim. I love it, John. We're going to be we're going to be welcome thousandaires. It's finally going to happen.

This is definitely the kind of product that could cost a lot of money to create and make not very much. Yeah. On a very very low user uptake. John, while I report on Twitter, I need you to come up with a good brand name for our ghost cam. Mary Ellen says, of course not, they travel through mirrors. That makes sense to me. Shell thinks that they come out of water faucets,

which is upsetting, but also makes sense. I think, because like at least pipes are connected from house to house. Also, that's how the chamber of secrets, et cetera. Yes, exactly bathroom pipes for sure. People are wondering, yes, but only if they died in there. Lots of people don't have closet doors, so they're not worried.

I've made them worried. This is the first step in our marketing plan, John. I've made them concerned. We have to create a terrified consumer base and then a product that solves the problem that we ourselves created. This is a very old strategy in the world of technology companies. Do you have a good brand name for us, John?

I don't. No, that's not my skill set. Which reminds me, today's podcast is brought to you by the ghosts in the sewer. The ghosts in the sewer. You're flushing down there coming up. That's their tagline. That's their motto. This podcast is also brought to you by the octopus scene. Octopus scene.

Something's got to happen after we're done with this place. Today's podcast is also brought to you by Muhammad Salah's yellow card. Muhammad Salah's yellow card. Worth it. And also this podcast is brought to you by Happy Bees. Happy Bees, they've had sugar. They're optimistic and they can recover from difficulty. Oh, it doesn't seem like a good goal.

All right, Hank, we got another question. This one comes from Aisha who writes, dear John and Hank, I recently started reading an absolutely remarkable thing on a Kindle and I'm very sorry it's taken me so long to do so since he has topologies. I think Hank will forgive you by the way. I'm sure he's happy to have you read an absolutely remarkable thing whenever you would like to. Anyway, Aisha goes on, everything I've read so far has been nothing short of perfect. Wow. Oh, my goodness. High praise, Hank. I agree. It's a great book. I don't think it's nothing short of perfect. It's very good. I loved it. I can't wait for the sequel, Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, out July 7th and available for pre-order now. That's

a great product endorsement right there. Shame was questioned, enabled content plug aside. I've noticed something weird about Kindle eBooks. It lets you know how many people have highlighted a particular section of the book, and it turns out a lot of people have the same parts highlighted. Is this because at our very core, we're all just sort of the same, you know, like bees that just do whatever the sugar water tells them to do? Or do you think it has more to do with a bias that might be introduced by knowing other people's preferences? Should I disable this?

I came, Aisha, I conquered. Now I'm worried I've been saying her name wrong the whole time. Aisha? I came, Aisha, I conquered. I came, I Shaw, I conquered. I've given it six tries and I bet they're all wrong. Yeah. Great names specific sign off regardless.

John, first of all, I love this feature. I don't, it terrifies me. I love it. I bought my own book on Kindle on my phone because I don't actually have a Kindle just so I could see the passages people highlight. Oh wow. Now, one thing I'll say, it doesn't show you every passage

that every person highlights. I think it like picks the top 10 and shows you those or something. Because otherwise, I think that might get a little messy. I think as a reader, I might turn it off and less I'm like very curious, because I think that it might take me out of the story. I don't know how it does for you,

but as a writer, I find it fascinating and very cool. I think it is definitely helpful to know what people are responding to. But I will say, I still love reading used books and finding other people's highlights in them. Yeah. Noticing. I remember reading a copy of E.E. Cummings, The Enormous Room, which is about being a prisoner of war in World War One and seeing the passages that this person who'd also checked it out of the Kenyan College library had highlighted and just being completely fascinated because they were totally different from the ones I would have highlighted. Like at times I could not figure out what this person found so interesting about the worst parts of the enormous room.

Yeah. But it reminded me of how variable consciousness is. And one of the like great, great pleasures of rereading a book that I have read and highlighted or earmarked pages on or whatever is seeing the places that passed me found interesting versus the places that current me finds interesting. That's great. It's like communally reading a book with yourself. That's amazing. Yeah.

There are so many pleasures of middle age. One of the many ways that I think middle age is underrated is that it's not until you've been an adult for a long time that you can have some kind of conversation with your past adult selves. And be like, oh, this person was wrong about that not until you've been an adult for a long time, that you can have some kind of conversation with your past adult selves. And be like, oh, this person was wrong about that, or like, oh, in some ways, this person has something to teach me that I had forgotten about. Yeah, totally.

And also, what a great piece of advocacy for not treating books as if they are some hallowed, and treat your books how you want to, but I think that they should be used. I think that it makes perfect sense to take that paper and do what you want with it, and being able to look back at that takes me back to that person who I'm not anymore,

and lets me remember what was great about being that person and maybe rediscover some of the things that I didn't leave behind because I wanted to, but just because I did. Yeah, I agree. I think ebooks are great and I know that this is an old man yells at cloud thing, but oh, how I love having the same copy of Sula that I had in college. Yeah.

I love a physical book, but I also understand that they come with costs and consequences and stuff. And I'm happy for anybody who's reading an absolutely remarkable thing, whatever the context, that's a beautiful, yeah, it's such a great book. I'm so excited for people to read it. I myself am so excited for the sequel coming out on July 7th that I still haven't read because Hank hasn't sent it to me. I haven't. I'm so close. It's just very messy right now because it's limited to track change, it's just doc. But while you're talking, I'm buying the fault

in our stars on Kindle. Just because you want to see those highlights. Nice. No, actually, I have my turtles all the way down. I know what people like in the fault in our stars. It's all stuff from the movie. That's been there. Hank, before we get to the on-board,

we can buy some of those. It's time for a million dollar idea. Not their billion dollar idea. Some guy named John had an idea on Twitter. He tweeted it's a million dollar idea. It's from John. He says, million dollar idea. A do not disturb sign that doesn't fall off the hotel door knob every freaking time you open the door. I love this one. I don't. It is a million dollar idea because there are that many hotel rooms.

That's true. I am sure that the hotel rooms of the world are also anxious to solve this problem, but it must be that all of the solutions are not as good. I want to create, I actually want to create this product. I don't. The last thing I want to do is be in the business of like selling an item to hotel chains. That sounds like a horrible business. Do you know how many hotel rooms there are in the United States? I don't. How many hotel rooms do you know the answer to that question? Over 5 million.

Wow. So it is a million dollar idea. I think the question is, could you sell them for 20 cents a piece? And I think the answer is no. Right, well, here's the thing. You have to create the product and you have to get them hooked. So you have to have some other value

that's being added by the door tag. And I don't know what that is. A great user experience, John. That's what I'll say in the meetings. Yeah, right. If you're gonna be a million dollar idea, it's gotta also be a technology company. You know, it's gotta be an app that sends it

do not disturb message. The subscription service. Oh, only $4 a month and they won't open the door while you're getting ready for your shower. All right, it's time for the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. I'll start because I've got good news. AFC Wimbledon won a football game. You've done that before.

Yeah, no, it's not. It's not the first time we've won a football game this season, but it is the seventh. Wow. It sports. So it's worth celebrating whenever it happens. And best of all, continuing our very strange form where we play well against good teams and terribly against bad teams. We beat Peterborough who are up in 10th place and we're on, well, I guess they've been on

bad form. They've lost four out of their last five games. But the important thing is that we beat them. We did not beat them. I watched the entire game, and I would argue that we did not necessarily beat them by playing better. They had 18 shots to our eight, but we beat them.

And that's all that matters. Joe Pig at scored a, I guess I would call it scrappy goal, but effective. The fans, the Wimbledon fans like to sing, feed the pig and he will score. And indeed, they fed the pig and he scored. So Wimbledon win one nil. The only bad news in all of this, and it is very worrisome news. The only bad news in all of this is that our by far our best player this season has been Marcus Fores, who injured his hamstring and as a result, his loan is not being renewed to the end of the season.

Okay. So it's not super clear where our goals are going to come from in the back of the season. I guess we're going to have to count on the pig. It's all going to be Joe Piggit, the made stone messy, you know, came up from the fifth tier of English football straight to AFC Wimbledon. And he's he's done really well. And AFC Wimbledon, I've always like in the past, we've always succeeded most when we had as strikers, one big guy, like out of Bioloc and Fenwa and one fast guy. And Joe Piggit was always kind of the fast guy, but I was looking at him during the game

and this time and I was like, he's becoming a bit of a big guy. He's starting to fill out a little bit. So we'll hope that maybe Joe Piggit can be both our big and our fast guy, because I don't think we're bringing in anybody else during the January transfer window. You wanna be the fast guy because I don't think we're bringing in anybody else during the January transfer window. You want to be the fast guy, John? Well, I mean, I'm really in between sort of the slow medium-sized fella.

That's more of useful in sponsoring the team maybe than actually playing on it. Yeah, I think that's my, that's my, that's my gift. So John, do you know what my Celia are? I do know what my Celia are. Oh, nice. Aren't they the little, aren't they the little things? They're like fungus roots. Basically.

Oh, no, I don't. I didn't know at all. Ha, ha, ha. They're fungus roots. Now I know. Yeah. So basically fungus roots. So the majority of a fungus is not the mushroom

that comes out the top. It's these little strands that move in and about little threads of a fungus that build out their structure and gather the nutrients of the fungus. And NASA is doing a project to use mycelia as a lightweight, compact material that can grow into a structure, just if you add some water to it, once you get to your destination. So you take these mycelia with you. And then when you get there if you add some water to it, once you get to your destination,

so you take these my Celia with you, and then when you get there, you add water, and that spurs them to sort of like take form and become this like self-healing material that astronauts can then live inside of, maybe. What? Yeah, it's wild. I don't know.

You had me until the end. Yeah, you're gonna live in it. You can make bricks Yeah, it's wild. I don't know. You had me until the end. Yeah, you got to live in it. You can make bricks out of it. Wow. Basically. So, I'd sit to plot with John. They're making houses. Wow.

They want to make houses out of mushroom bricks. Wow. It's called micro architecture. And there's multiple organisms that come together and make up these things. So there's a layer of the outside that is frozen water that shields the inhabitants from radiation and in the middle later we made a cyanobacteria which uses the water and the outside light to do photosynthesis to make oxygen. And that layer also serves as the nutrients for the inner layer of mycelia which are then activated

in some way to create the habitat. And then eventually baked, killing the mycelia, which are then activated in some way to create the habitat and then eventually baked, killing the mycelia so that the structure stays solid and doesn't contaminate the planet with new life. Is the idea. It's all very hypothetical, but they have made something weird fungus bricks. So that's the news from Mars. NASA is trying to build mushroom houses that First off is great

But the way that you summarized it reminded me of the onion Saterizing Ted talks where they would have a guy and he's doing a Ted talk and he's like my idea Cars that run on garbage. How's it gonna work? Well, you take a current car, and you make it work on garbage. Now, you might be asking yourself, how are we going to do that? Well, that's up to the scientists. So, in this case, the scientists are there. They're doing it. I just don't understand it very well.

I'm not one of the scientists. I also, I love a building material that you've got to be real sure to turn off or else it might accidentally build itself across the entire planet. That's my favorite kind of building material, the kind where if you forget to flip a switch, it might colonize the entire solar system. Mars has a mushroom pacing. entire solar source. Mars has a mushroom piscine. Johnny, that's it. I think that's the end of the podcast. Thanks for podding with me. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tudor Mettish. It's produced by Rosiana Holtz-Rohas and shared gifts in our head of community and communications is Victoria Bonjorno. At least for another week, Victoria is

leaving us Victoria. Thank you so much for all that you have done. Not just for Dear Hank and John, but for everything Complexly. The music that you're listening to right now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome.

Don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome. you