Dear Hank & John - 252: A Comedy Podcast About Chemical Equilibrium

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

How do I handle my fear of megacryometeors? Why do bugs like lights so much? Where is John's Edgar Allen Poe bust? How do I stay productive while recovering from surgery? Would fireworks work in space? How do you work All Star into your video titles? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or is that for a think of it, Dear John and Hank? It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to be a suffice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC, limbo then John. That little light in my car went on that told me that my tire pressure was low. Is this a thing that you have now? Oh sure, of course. Yeah, I didn't have that when we were when we were youths, but it should be a thing that you have now. Oh, sure, of course. Yeah, I didn't have that one when we were used,

but it should be a thing now. And so I went to fill up my tires and I pulled up and I was shocked to discover that it costs money now. It used to be free everywhere I went and I went to one that cost money and I found out why they cost money now, John, do you know why? Why?

Inflation. I mean, that's not. Was it worth it? That's not what I call money. And it was, that was pretty tortured. But I'm taking my laughs so I can get them right now, Hank. I'm happy to provide low quality laughs. I mean, yet the lowest.

Hank, before we get to questions from our listeners, I think we need to acknowledge something that happened in our last episode right at the top, which is that I spoke with a Southern accent. That was very divisive, I would say. Lots of people were surprised that I could speak with a Southern accent at all, given my complete inability to speak with any other accent. And lots of people wrote to ask that

I continue to record the podcast in the Southern accent all the time, which I'm not going to do. And then all of this distracted from the core takeaway from the last episode of the podcast, which is that your British accent, especially when you are saying compost, but also when you are saying literally everything, is a national embarrassment. And I say that at a time when there are some pretty serious national embarrassment. Look, nobody has, I have not seen a single message yet. Yeah.

Well, maybe a single, maybe some, a few, maybe a couple messages regarding my British pronunciation of compost, which I still not clear while people are trying to tell me how to do it, but they are incapable of doing so. John, do you think the other time we're recording this, that TikTok will be owned by Microsoft? Is it happening? Has it happened? I don't know, but I do know that I made another TikTok.

I made my third TikTok. I believe third and final. I'm a little bit, she just wanted to finish out the row. Yeah, like I'm a little bit like Jay-Z when it comes to TikTok. I keep announcing my retirement and then having a surprise come back.

But I think I'm really, John Green in the Jay JZ of TikTok. Nope. Nope. Okay. However, I do just like JZ keep releasing bangers. I mean, my most recent TikTok, not to brag, is doing very well on the TikTok.

Well, now I have to check and see how well it's doing. You've not made any bad TikToks. They've all been very good. That's the benefit of only making like one TikTok per month. Well, but now you have a lot to live up to. You have to like continue. That's what streak of high quality TikToks. Yeah, that's why you retire, Hank.

You got to go out on top. Well, I won't, John. I know. You're going to ride that TikTok roller coaster all the way back down to the bottom. But John, eventually the roller coaster goes back up, that's what they do. Yeah, so I made a joke about this in my book, The Fault in Our Stars,

where the main character, or one of the main characters, in the very beginning of the book says, I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up. Like the reader is supposed to understand that that is an unsustainable proposition. But a lot of people have concluded either that roller coasters only go up or that they after going down always go back up, all of which is incorrect. Roller coasters end up down. They end up on the ground. Thater coasters end up down.

They end up on the ground. That's how you get on to them. It's not a good metaphor because you end up where you start. You don't go, you don't end up down. No, it's a great metaphor because he says, I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up. And in fact, he's on a roller coaster that's doing exactly what every roller coaster does,

which is that it starts at nothing and ends at nothing. Like, it's it's it's it's birth to that. Which is what we I guess that is what we all do. You're right. Yeah, you're right. And and a roller a roller coaster you start out not born. Uh huh. And you end up not alive. Yeah. So yeah. So start end point is the same. And unlike roll, like I like a roller coaster that has lots of twists and turns, but would it be okay if in my life, it was just a nice steady decline with no big loop deloupes?

Yeah, I mean, one of my many complaints about the roller coaster of life is that it's completely in the dark and I'm not able to see like even six inches in front of me, so I have no idea when I'm about able to see like even six inches in front of me. So I have no idea when I'm about to fall off a cliff or when things are about to like suddenly improve or when things are just going to go twisty-tourney and I don't know which way is up. I have a lot of complaints about the roller coaster that we call Lifehank, but we're not here to analyze the often misinterpreted metaphors in the fault in our stars.

We're here to answer questions from our listeners, including this one from Carter, who writes, dear John and Hank, a few years ago, my dad was just minding his own business when a giant ice ball fell from the sky and landed it about 12 feet away from him. We believe it was a mega cryometior. And after doing research, they could apparently just fall

from space at any given moment. How do I not live in constant fear of an ice meteor crashing through my house to murder me? Uh, well, this is a very roller coaster situation, isn't it? Yeah. Where you think you're just going along study, but it turns out it's space mountain and everything's in the dark. So you don't know what's what's coming. Is it a mega cryo meteor?

Is it mega cryo meteor a real thing, Hank? It is. But fairly rare, right? I mean, I feel like I would have heard about them if they were regularly. Yes. Entering people's homes. Yeah. There have been 50 recorded since the year 2000. It's it sounds like it's a thing from space because it has the word meteor in it, but it is in fact, just basically a very, very large hailstale, the very large hail. Oh.

But there's also possibility that this is something that formed on a aircraft of some kind and then broke off the aircraft. Oh, God. That's the thing that happens sometimes. Oh, God. But it, but apparently it can happen naturally where it's just like it's just a huge hailstone. Wow. Well, to get back to Carter's question,

I think that you did it. You had your mega cryo meteor. Yeah, you dodged your one meteor that will ever be near you. I remember you this is great news. Yeah. Yeah. You did it. I remember our grandfather, Papa. He survived a plane crash. And whenever anybody would express any kind of anxiety about being on an airplane, Papa would say, Oh, no, it's fine. I survived my plane crash. So we're good. We have what you think this is going to happen twice? Yeah, exactly. I worried a lot about having a playing crash, and then I did have one, and I lived, and now we're good.

There is a very small, and this is probably a statistical fluke, but there is a very small statistical significance to the reality that you are more likely to be struck by lightning once you've been struck by lightning once, regardless of your lifestyle, which is, it'd be like one thing, the guy was struck by lightning the most times. He worked as a forest ranger and he worked in towers looking for fires. And so that guy, I get it. He's gonna get struck by lightning more likely than the average person. But apparently, regardless of lifestyle,

lightning becomes more interested in you. But that does not, I do not think that is the case for airplanes. I also don't think it's the case for lightning, which I think this is a statistical slip. Right, but it's definitely not the case for- Very small sample size. Extremely small.

And it's definitely not the case for- Very small sample size. Extremely small. And it's definitely not the case for mega cryo meteors. Yeah. It's such, but also so cool though. That's really cool. Yeah. I would rather have a mega cryo meteor land near being than not. So I'm gonna take the other side of that proposition.

I would rather have a long and fulfilling and healthy life where I never come into visual contact with a large ball of ice falling out of the sky. Yeah. No, I want that story. See, I think that's the difference between you and me. I would like my roller coaster to be as flat and slow and boring as possible. I can't believe it's called a mega cryometeor. Yeah, that's an exciting name. Yeah, it's very good name. I'm glad your dad's okay, Carter.

This next question comes from Gracie who asks, dear, Hank and John, why do bugs in maws like fake lights so much? What would they have buzzed toward before there were lights? What will they buzz towards after? Not an orange ocean, but a gray sea. I don't get that joke. It's not an orange ocean, it's a gray sea.

That's very good, actually. Oh, that's so good. So good. So good. So good. People's puns with their names are so uncommely good. And I think the reason is that we all think about our names so much.

Right. There's a great page, Luis Poem, in their book's space truck, and part of it goes, I think about how hard it is for me to believe in the first Adam, because if Adam had the power to name everything, everything would be named Adam. And that's so true. So the reason our puns about our name are so good is that we just think about our fricking names all the time. And if I could name everything, everything would be named John.

Yeah. People ask me all the time, like, how do you name a main character, April May, and then never, like, acknowledge it in the book? Yeah. It's like, it never comes up that she has a punny name. And I'm like, in what way does it need to be? Like, her behavior, her entire life is very clearly like a rebellion against her parents wanting to her to be like cute and adorable. And her wanting to be taken seriously. Like I don't, I'm not gonna say it out loud. Yeah, no, I should have put an asterisk after that. I'm a roller coaster that all goes up thing and explained it in the footnotes.

John, so do you think you know why bugs fly toward lights? I know the essentials of why bugs fly toward lights. Yeah, you don't. Oh, okay, great. Why do they? We don't know. Oh, I love it. I thought they flew toward lights

because they flew toward the moon. No, it's, this is one of the guesses. And it is not the only one. And it's a little bit of a flimsy guess because they can't get to the moon. I know. I thought about that before. Because the idea is that they're using it from migration maybe, but many mobs who do this don't migrate.

And the other idea is that they will collect at the moon, and that will allow them to be near each other, but that's not how it works. If you fly toward the moon, you don't end up in the same place. You don't fly any closer to any other moth. Like, yeah. Like, if we all go toward the moon, we don't all end up in a centralized location. So, although that is a beautiful idea, I have to say. Like, it's like, yeah, it's like the other end of the rainbow.

It's like reaching the end of the rainbow. If we all had the moon directly above our heads, we would all be in the same place, but alas. That a little bit worked only during the 1960s and 70s, where we all America collectively moved toward the moon. And I did bring us a little bit together, but not as much as you might think. But in the case of Moves, there is also the guess that it just appears to them if there

is a light, that there must be an unobstructed pathway. And so that's a good place to go toward, because it means that there's not a lot of stuff around, because in a natural situation at night, if you're seeing any light, that means that you're going to be going through something towards some source of light. Another guess is the flower theory that many flowers reflect UV light and they want to go towards flowers and so they're just moving towards lights. Another one, and I wanted to find out more about this because this was the one that I liked the most, but it's I only found in one article from 1977. So this can't be it, but I want to know if it is. So reach out to me if you

know about this. There's a possibility that female moths, chemi luminesce, so like a firefly, they weakly luminesce in the far infrared. So they're like an invisible firefly basically. And that attracts males to them and light bulbs and fires and candle flames all Release far and for red radiation as well. Oh, so maybe maybe it's that like moths are fireflies But no one notices except other moths, which I would love I but I only one study from 1977 that I find talking about this. So we don't know why mobs go toward flames, but we do know that they do do that and male mobs will attempt to mate with candles until they die. Well, that is all fascinating, Hank. And it reminds me that when I was researching

fireflies for my recent vlog, but there's video about fireflies, I learned that there are many hundreds of species of fireflies that do not light up. And do you know what they are called? No. This is my favorite thing. They are called dark fireflies. Oh, how did you not have to put that in the video? Well, you know, the video turned out to be about other stuff.

That's often the case when you, you know, when you're researching and you find good stuff and you're like, oh, maybe I'll just use that in the podcast someday and I did or I'll just have it in my brain. Yeah And it'll just be for me right but now it's for everyone. It is all it is also possible to to learn something and not share it. That's not that's not for me. Yeah, the other day I said I wanted to explain Yeah, the other day I said I wanted to explain microorganisms to Oran and said so I said do you know how animals and plants are both alive and he said never talk to me Yeah, I remember like in first grade or whenever kids start to learn about like what's living and what's not living, we would try to categorize things

into living things and not living things. And then slowly I realized that this is a little bit of a false distinction, right? We should probably see this more as a continuum than as an on-off switch. Yeah. Because most of the definitions of life are insufficient. Yes, and and and many times they actually intentionally exclude things in order to make it

mesh with how we see the world rather than actually trying to find some root thing that is what life is because the root thing find some root thing that is what life is because the root thing is actually really unclear. Though, like, because of who I am, I feel like better definitions than the thing that frustrates me though is that they teach kids these like five qualities of life, and this is the definition of life, but that's just like a categorization

to make stuff fit into something. And it's not, it has nothing, there's no ex-explanatory power. It like isn't a theory. It's just like, here, have this. Life responds to stimulus, right? Yeah, and it reproduces. And I'm like, well, I don't think life has to reproduce. That's a ridiculous notion.

I think that you could have a thing that's alive and doesn't reproduce. It seems to happen all the time. Well, not just that, but also you have lots of things that we say aren't alive that do reproduce. So yeah, well, it's the idea is that like every one of the categories has to be satisfied. Yeah. And it's like, you keep adding new categories

so that you like are excluding things from the list. Yeah, we really don't want viruses to be alive for some reason, like we're really, uh, well, yeah. I mean, the idea that this is like a, and I, I actually think the virus is our alive from my definition they are alive, but there are reasons why, like biologists see like they don't fit into the definition of life. Yeah. I totally get all those reasons, but also when I had viral meningitis, I can report that it was alive. Yeah. Yeah. I think that a living thing is anything that is able to sustain itself far from

chemical equilibrium. That's what it is to me. That's a lovely definition. Why don't we use that one? I don't know. Lots of, lots of chemists do, but they're like biologists are weird about it. I kind of like the idea that of death being a return to chemical equilibrium. That's actually, that's 100% what it is. I know, but I've never thought of it that way. And like life is just like, it's just like sustained existence outside of chemical equilibrium. And it's wild. Like what an amazing thing to have exists. Like what a what a weird chemical system. Like it's all just still just chemicals. Yeah. Still just chemicals. Oh boy.

All right. Not enough to freaky out. Welcome to Mindblowers with Hank and John. It's just chemicals. Next we're going to be talking about how many stars there are in the universe so many whoa Whoa Just fall to your knees and all and there I have you ever fall into your knees and all I have twice I've twice too Oh Was one time in front of the world's largest wooden crucifix which you visited as a joke and We're like ha ha ha The world's largest wooden crucifix and then for some reason you are on your knees and tears and you're like, ha ha ha, it's the world's largest wooden crucifix. And then for some reason, you are on your knees and tears and you're like, oh, crud.

No, neither were the words. One was stars. One was like, I was a teenager and it was stars. And I was like, oh, wow, stars. The other one was a donut. I got a really good donut. It was so good. Felt of my knees in the middle of the farmer's market.

You know, you just, the thing is those moments are coming. Those moments in your, in life, are out there. Yeah. And they are coming. Maybe, I mean, for some people, for some people, it happened today, you know, like, those of, those are the like random moments I'm thinking of. Then of course there are the moments of wonderful joy that you know might be coming and so they don't feel like completely out of nowhere, but they're still really lovely. Like when my children were born,

when AFC Wimbledon won the League 2 playoff final at Wembley, things like that. And hopefully I'll have one of those moments pretty soon when Mars Perseference Rover lands on Mars, but we'll talk about that more in a bit. Also when the James Webb Space Telescope launches and the place safely. That'll be a great day. Just when that happens, oh God.

I'm really excited. I'm gonna have so many good pictures. It's gonna be some high quality space pictures out there. That's gonna be so good. Oh my God. Okay, okay. Okay, That's gonna be so good. Oh my god. Okay, let's get back to answering questions for our listeners. This question is from Willie who writes, Dear John and Hank, what happened to John's Edgar Allen

pobust and what has John been doing with it in quarantine if he still has it? What? That's it. Yeah. You know, just for clarity, I have a great many objects that I have done nothing with during quarantine. Yeah, I mean, just for clarity, I have a great many objects that I have done nothing with during quarantine.

Yeah, I mean, that is the summary of what the Pobus has been up to. So my novel, Paper Towns, won an Edgar award, which is an award given to mystery novels, which Paper Towns wanted to be. So I was delighted to get the award, even if it isn't totally a mystery. And they give you a pobust when you win this award. It's a beautiful, really lovely bust of Ed Grail and Poe. And I made a vlog with this video a long, long time ago,

called What Do You Do with a Pobust that imagined that I needed to some form of utility for this pobust. But then of course, what I did with it was I put it on a bookshelf where it has been ever since and I occasionally dust it. But it makes me happy. I enjoy seeing it every now and then.

Yeah, I don't think I have any awards. Really? I mean, I... I happen to know, I have a couple of awards that we co-won. So I know you've won some. For instance, you won an Emmy. I did, but I to know I have a couple of awards that we co won. So I know you've won some for instance you won an Emmy I did but I didn't get a statue Did you get remember when we won like the bloggers choice award in 2007 you don't have that? But we also want a shorty award at some point for like our high quality Twitter usage.

We've won some. Okay. All right. If there's like, I don't know what the version of EGOT is for. Like, yeah, Webbed here, YouTube influencers, but we must be closing in on it. Yeah. I always wanted to do a lifetime achievement award at VidCon, but we never got that happening.

I wanted to give it to some folks. Who would be the first person to receive the YouTube lifetime achievement award? Not YouTube, online video. And the five, I think the first person should be the guys behind a home star runner, because I think that they were the first web video people. It was certainly the first web video series I loved.

Yeah, that would be nice. Just want to say thanks to them. Yeah. Because gosh, John, what should you do with the post? Should the pobust have its own TikTok? No, the last thing that I need. Should it have adventures? No, no, it should stay on the mantle

where it won't get injured. Okay, and then what's the long term outcome for the Pope? Oh, the end of game for the Pope? Well, I assume that it will be, wait, John, it will be the Pope dust. Super long term. It will return to chemical equilibrium. It is at chemical equilibrium.

You don't know that Hank. You don't know. Yeah, it's just. You don't know what's going on inside of its mind. John, this next question comes from mags who asked, dear Hank, good John, as I'm writing this, I'm 19 years old, would be 20 and about a week. I've been diagnosed with severe ulcerative colitis for two years and due to recent development and then I

will be having surgery to remove my entire colon within the next two weeks. I'm very nervous, though I know that it will eventually improve my quality of life, but nobody will be allowed into the hospital to visit me because of COVID. I was supposed to have classes online this fall, which I was excited for. But due to the surgery, I have to drop the whole semester. My question is, as somebody whose feelings of self-worth

are very closely tied to their feelings of productivity, how do I keep myself from being completely useless while I'm laid up for the next two to three months without being able to, quote, do anything. Everyone's telling me that recovering from a major surgery definitely counts as doing something, but my brain will not believe this. Hope that you are both doing well despite the weirdness of the world's surgeries and self-esteem max. What a great question and what a hard thing to be having happen right now. Yeah. First, like the fact that you have to go in and do this and wake up and, you know,

healthcare providers will be there and they will be supportive, but to not have friends and family there, it's really hard. And I know that it's a strain on a lot of people right now. Yeah. But I guess it is the right thing to do and it's the same thing to do. So thank you for Yeah, but I guess it is the right thing to do and it's the same thing to do. So thank you for living with that reality. Yeah, but it is really hard. As far as the recovery goes, it is true that taking care of yourself is doing something. And I remember when I had meningitis, part of my frustration was like, oh, I feel like I should be working or I'm

going to be behind on stuff. On some level though, if you don't let that go, all you're doing is you're like yelling at yourself about something that isn't your fault and that you can't do anything about. And so for me, it was all about trying to find the things that I could do, that I could also enjoy, and allowing myself, giving myself permission to enjoy those things. Insofar as it was possible while also still having like a constant crushing soul-sucking headache. And that's, I mean, with pain, it's very hard, and I know that you see can be extremely painful, and hopefully this will make it so that you will have a higher quality of life and that that will make

you more capable of more things than you have been capable of in a while. But in general, when it comes to chronic illness, it does lower your productivity and this is a thing that is okay. And like this, this idea and this comparison of one's self to one's previous abilities or one's abilities to other people's abilities, like it's only ever destructive. And one thing that you might be able to do in this process is get a little bit away from that mentality because I think like that's actually really important to separate yourself from a little bit. Now, I do feel productive sometimes when I am just discovering stuff. It allows us to enjoy things more in the future, and it gives

us a sort of like a broader base of ways to discuss creative stuff with our peers, which I think is also one of the great joys in life is to talk about great stuff with great people. That's such a great point and it's so important and it also reminds me of this experience I had in 2006 when I had this horrible failed series of lower jaw surgeries that resulted in me being in bed all the time and in just like awful, awful pain until eventually it got resolved. And during that time is when I became a super fan of Lonely Girl 15, I fell all the way down the early internet video rabbit hole. And if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't become this like And if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't become this like passionate, deeply engaged member of that community, we would never have started vlogbrothers.

And not only that, like vlogbrothers wouldn't have had its initial like 200 viewers, all of whom also came from that fan community. And I remember thinking during that part of my life, oh, I'm being so unproductive. I can't believe I'm not writing. I can't believe, you know, like I'm wasting all this time because my mouth hurts so much that I just can't think straight like I can't write fiction. But as it turned out, I was doing something

that was very productive to my future self. Yeah, and you never really know. No, you just follow curiosity, you try to learn, you try to stay engaged. But then you also have to give yourself permission to just zone out sometimes because it is. Yeah, I mean, that kind of recovery is really work. It's work. That's exactly what it is. And you got to do the work. You got to do the work. This is a thing that I tell myself about my health all the time.

Yeah, by the way, if Hank sounds like he's preaching to you, he's not, he's preaching to himself right now. Yeah, I have all sort of glidesis, and if I don't take care of myself, it gets worse. You gotta do the work, like getting colon cancer screenings, which I just did. And if you are at high risk for colon cancer, please get screened. Get screened.

We have a friend who died earlier this year, get screened. Yep. How was your call in us, be by the way? It was great. I got told off by the nurse because the moment I came out of my anesthesia, I started recording everything and she was like, you can't record video in the hospital. And I was like, but I'm, but what I want to

and she was like, you can't. I got to make a TikTok. There's, there's rule. I'm sorry. I gotta. Yeah TikTok. There's, there's rule. I'm sorry. I gotta, yeah, I love that Hank is here telling people like, you know, give all you need to your recovery. Focus on yourself, you know the work. I wasn't making content.

I was just screwing around. The moment he wakes up, he's like, hello, TikTok, it's me, Hank Green. I know that, I know that y know that you all really need to hear from a 40 year old man from his hospital bed, as he recovers from his colonoscopy. I didn't TikTok from the hospital. I actually haven't watched those videos.

They might be good, who knows? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. John actually that reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by Cole and Oskopy TikTok. Cole and Oskopy TikTok, it is one of the least visited areas of TikTok. You find yourself on Cole and Oskopy TikTok only very rarely, but count yourself blessed if you do.

Well, whatever it takes to get more people to do the appropriate screening, I am in favor of, including and not limited to Cole and Ooscopy TikTok. Today's podcast is also brought to you, of course, by mega cryometeors, mega cryometeors, a landing 12 feet away from you once every two to five years. Oh, okay. And this podcast is also brought to you by Dark Fireflies. Dark Fireflies definitely a metaphor for something. And finally, today's podcast is brought to you by the Podust. The Podust. It's where we're all going.

John, there's also a project for awesome message. It's from Linda from Texas to my daughter Caroline. I feel lucky that we remain so close as you turn 18, graduate, and leave for college. I'll miss listening to Dear Hank and John together. So I thought it fitting to ask them to tell you how amazed I am at this person you are as you continue to grow into and become more and more yourself. Also, I totally heard John's voice in my head as I wrote this. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, it's fine. Linda, I don't mind. I am amazed that the person you are as well, Caroline, as you continue to grow into and become more and more yourself. And I totally heard John's voice in my head as I wrote this. There you go. That was really lovely. And I hope that

college works itself out in one way or another. Yeah. All right, Hank, we have a question from Aubrey who writes, dear John and Hank, I know that we probably shouldn't, but could we let off fireworks in space? Oh, that's a reason not to. Well, first off, I don't agree with Aubrey at all that we probably shouldn't. I mean, there's a lot of things we probably shouldn't

be doing right now on Earth. And I would think that setting off fireworks in space would be the least of our concerns. Yeah, no, I'm not worried about it at all. And I would think that setting off fireworks in space would be the least of our concerns. Yeah, no, I'm not worried about it at all. And we could. Could we? And would they blow up without any oxygen? Yeah, so here's this is weird actually. So yes, they would blow up, but they would look different. So the blowing up of the firework, all of the oxygen is tied up in the fuel, and that's why it can blow up so fast, just because the oxygen is chemically in there. So why gunpowder does not need oxygen to burn.

The oxygen is in the gunpowder. But it would look very different because the stuff that is colorful, and that shines, that stuff is oxidizing in the air. So it's hot, metals usually, and they are oxidizing and burning. So you would get an explosion but you'd have to design the firework for space to have some way of being visible without relying on the oxidation of the atmosphere. And you would have to obviously have a lot of them if you were able, if you wanted to see them from Earth

where most of the people are. Well, I for one think that we should focus all of humanity's resources around space fireworks. That is the future. That seems like a little bit of a not a John Green take, but I'll take it. I love space. It's not that I don't love space.

It's that I don't want humans to go to Mars before 2028 so that we can rename this podcast, Dear John and Hank, and I can win the biggest bet of my life. So like when I made that bet, I had this like feeling that we wouldn't still be making the podcast in 2028 and now I no longer have that feeling. Well, I mean, I'm going to keep making the podcast regardless of whether you do because I, I think the funniest possible outcome is that we make the podcast and then we make one

episode in 2028 of our hit new podcast, Dear John and Hank, and then we retire. We go out on top like me with TikTok. I like it. But then we do have to do the whole announcement, press releases, new logo on that. Yes, just for the one episode. Exactly. The more we go in on that one episode, the funnier the joke is. Yeah. Hank, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, we for the one episode. Exactly. The more we go in on that one episode, the funnier the joke is. Yeah.

Hank, before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, we do have one more quick question. It's from Julie, who writes, Dear John and Hank, do you decide what your vlog by this video will contain and then force an all-star lyric to fit it? Or do you decide what to vlog about

by selecting an all star lyric? I don't know what this question is. What are your reference to? Yeah, what are you talking about? I don't understand the question, but we've received a lot of questions like it, and I find it odd that people keep asking us about this 19 year old American pop song. Yeah, what is all stars? I assume it's the reference to the smash mouth song, you know,

Hey, now you're an all-star. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think I don't know if I've enough have even heard that song. I certainly don't think about it very often. So no, no idea what you're talking about, Julie. Let's move on to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, this weekend Mars News perseverance has left the point

at leaving us to contend with the mess that we have made of things here. It is free of us, which is ideal for it, I think. But also providing us with the comforting knowledge that we are capable of great things, like sending science experiments to other planets. It launched early in my time, like, 5.50 in the morning, so I didn't see it live. I did. I woke up early and watched it was incredibly exciting. Yes. It's so nerve-wracking. The level of scary watching live, the level of anxiety. You can just see on all the people's faces that it's like seven years of your life or whatever, and it's on top of a container of jet fuel or whatever. The biggest bomb ever made. It is

basically, it's like standing on top of a bomb and it's like, but don't worry, like your work isn't going to blow up. So there were a couple of problems. So these were scary, but I've all worked themselves out. There was a communications issue where signals weren't being processed correctly. And that's the use is what's called the deep space network, which is a cool name to communicate with the spacecraft. But because the rover hadn't gone particularly far into space yet, it was basically just like screaming into the receivers. That issue has come up with other Mars launches and luckily all it took was some tweaking of network settings for network engineers to be able to correctly process the spacecraft signals.

There was also a temperature issue where parts of the spacecraft got colder than expected as it passed through the Earth's shadow. This is good information to have. You know, we'll be ready for it next time. And when it got that cold, the Earth's shadow. This is good information to have. You know, we'll be ready for it next time. And when it got that cold, the spacecraft put it into a safe mode, which is a thing that you hear a lot about when you learn about space missions. They go into safe mode a lot

because they have basically pretty low barrier for going into safe mode. If they don't want anything to get too bad before you go like, okay, like just simplest process is possible to keep this thing alive. But then it got warm again and it went back to normal. So we are out of safe mode, in normal mode. Everything seems to be going well with perseverance rover on its way to Mars.

Very exciting. It was so cool to see. And I mean, I know there's a lot of hurdles still to go, of course, because it's a 300 million mile journey or whatever. But it's got to be a huge relief for all the people who worked so hard for that moment. Yeah. To get it into space as hoped for. Very exciting. The newsroom, AFC Whippeldon is far less dramatic, but I will say in the past, tank, if you look at the whole like 110 year history of Wimbledon and AFC Wimbledon, you'll note that often when we have had the most success is when we have played two

forward players, one of whom is small and the other of whom is gigantic. This, this strike partnership, a giant and a tiny person, he's really at the core of all the success Wimbledon has ever enjoyed. And for the last couple of years, we haven't had a gigantic person. We had a autobioloconfenwood, the strongest, largest, and most impressive person in professional football. There is a strong rumor that a striker from the fourth year of English football named Oli Palmer will be coming to AFC Wilmulten. And if that turns out to be true, it means that we will have a relatively small person upfront in the form of Joe feed the pig pig it.

And Oli Palmer, who is flipping gigantic for a soccer player. He's six foot five. That's big boy. Yeah, he's big. He's strong, he's tough. He's 28 years old. He's exactly the kind of guy who I think could come in and make a big difference. Now, he doesn't score that many goals,

but the main thing that you need your gigantic guy to be anyway is a problem. And I think he would be a wonderful problem. That's what like every, anytime any team would play AFC Whippell then when Aachen Fenwa was there, they would always say, like, well, Aachen Fenwa poses a problem because like, how do you, you know, like, how do you mark someone who's literally twice as big as any of the defenders? Yeah, I'm looking at a fixture of Ali Palmer right now. He looks to have been Photoshopped in. That's his size.

Yeah. Like all the other players are around him. Yeah, exactly when he's with his teammates, he's on a, he's like literally on a different level. Yeah. So I really hope we sign him because it's, it's time that we had a gigantic person again, leading the line.

He looks kind of Chris Evans, E2. He's handsome. He is handsome. Alright, Hank, well thank you for apotic with me. Thanks to everybody for listening. If you want to send us your questions, we really appreciate it. You can email us at Hank and John at gmail.com. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Meticis, produced by Rosiana Halzrohaas and Sheridan

Gibson. Our communications coordinator is Julia Blumar, editorial assistant to Staboki Trucka Vardy. The music you're hearing now is by the great gunorola, and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.