Dear Hank & John - 268: How Onion Weight Per Onion

Episode Date: December 1, 2020

What do I do about a secret snake neighbor? What do I do with excessive root vegetables? How do I respond to someone asking if I'm blushing? Is the Earth at the same point relative to the sun every year? How do hurricanes get named around the world? Will John ever apologize for his Twix betrayal? If you need answers or even just lots of onion-related musings, Hank Green and John Green have what you're looking for!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank at John. Of course I prefer to think of it Dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers will answer your questions, give you DB's advice and bring you all of these news from both Mars and AFC Rumble then John. Yeah. You know your sock has a hole in it? I didn't know that my sock got a hole in it. Well how old's would you get your foot in there?

Oh. Yeah. I got a hole in it. Well, how old's would you get your foot in there? Oh, yeah. No, I get it. And it's a sock joke, which of course allows us to advertise awesome socks dot club our sock subscription service. Now that we're an independent podcast again, we can buy out all of the advertisements our own inventory. Yeah.

And just advertise whatever we want whenever we want and we want to tell you about our awesome socks Which are available at awesome socks dot club. You get a free. Well, it isn't free actually That's kind of the catch, but you get a pair of socks mail to you every month. It's true shipping is free and All of the profits not some of the profits all of the profits go to reduce maternal mortality in the parts of the world where it is the highest. So you can feel good about your socks while also having awesome socks dot club. It's true awesome socks dot club slash deer hank or deer john so that we can tell you came from the podcast and not somewhere else.

We're just trying to figure out where people are coming from as they strundle forth to acquire socks in great quantity. We've had a tremendous amount of support for the awesome socks club. So thank you, everybody who's joined up. We may end up running out of socks. So if you want to join, you can do that now. They will definitely be close by December 11th, but they may, it may be closed even before then because it turns out you can only make so many socks. And that should be a lesson to Hank that you can only do so many things, but it won't

be. It won't be a lesson to Hank. Yeah. He won't internalize that. Let's move on to some questions from our listeners. Hank, beginning with this vitally important one from Taylor who writes, dear John and Hank, we found a snake in our apartment. This is one of my top 10 personal.

One time we had a mouse in our apartment in New York City, and for about nine months, every night, I dreamt of the mouse. After I saw it, one time I would dream of, it's just, there's nothing more I love in this world than seeing a wild mammal outdoors. It just makes me so happy. Even if it's something silly, like, in this world than seeing a wild mammal outdoors. It just makes me so happy. Even if it's something silly,

like a chipmunk or a squirrel, I'm just like, oh, mammals, live in your lives. You don't need any of this stuff. Yeah, you don't need us. In fact, we are a problem. But when I see a mammal inside, that's not a mammal I have consciously welcomed into my home, such as one of my children or a pet or something

There's it it just drives me crazy now. I know that a snake is not a mammal. It's worse than a mammal It's easier to catch a snake weirdly And like I don't know I feel like I feel like a like a mouse is so close like every part of a mouse is very close to the bitey part. Whereas a lot of a snake is pretty far away from the bitey part. No, I don't agree with that at all. And also that don't take snake wrangling advice. My God. Look, what you got to do, I've seen it on TV.

No. You're grabbed by the tail and you have a stick and you just push their head away. It works every time on TV. When I see trade professionals do it. That's right. We got the crocodile hunter here. Okay.

Well, actually, as we continue on through the question, John, there is a picture of this person holding the snake in their hand. It's true. And I have to say that as snakes go, this is not the most intimidating snake I've ever seen. It appears to be. It looks hungry. It looks about shoelace.

Yeah. Shaped to me. I would say that it's sort of a shoelace style snake. Whereas the snakes, I fear, are more like belt snakes. Anyway, we sent pictures to my roommate's mom's snake guy. First off, Taylor, I have so many questions about every aspect of your question. But yeah, why does your roommates mom have a snake guy? Anyway, we sent pictures to my roommates mom snake guy. And he says that this snake is

not native to here. Taylor again, you could have just said where. And also, she's a baby, like younger than they usually are sold. So the snake guy thinks someone in our apartment is secretly breeding snakes. Oh my God. Okay. Taylor's roommates mom snake guy coming in clutch with the vital information. What if this is a recently hatched baby that is not in democ to the area or native to the area where it has been found? This has gone from like a three alarm crisis to a four alarm crisis just in the last two sentences, but it gets worse. Okay. Oh my God. Really? What if he's right and more snakes get out? Like I have accepted that I have to take care of

this one snake. I am her snake parent, but I'm worried that if there are many more of these and they're just babies, what's going to happen to them? Many thanks Taylor. P.S. This is Humphrey. We named her when we thought that she was a boy and we will absolutely not be changing it, which I congratulate you on every part of this response, Taylor. You have taken a snake that you do not need to care for and you have chosen to care for

it, which is heroic work. And you have named the snake Humphrey, which is the single greatest snake name in the history of our species. It's very good. And also you've acquired a great deal of information about the snake. And I do know that snakes don't tend to be born one at a time. Oh God. They usually, usually a bunch of them. And by born, I mean hatch out of eggs. Usually sometimes some snakes are live born, John, which is very weird. But I don't know what kind of snake

this is. So I can't say for sure, because I am not Taylor's roommate's mom snake guy. Unfortunately, though maybe that maybe it's something to aspire to. Unfortunately, though maybe it's something to aspire to. I mean Taylor. Everybody's got, everybody is like four degrees away from the snake guy. Like we all, we can accept this. I'm not. Yeah, you are.

I don't have a single roommate who has a mom who has a snake guy. I can tell you that right now. You have a brother who has a snake guy, though the guy is not a guy, it's Jesse from Animal Wonders. Oh my God. So you're three degrees.

Oh my God, I have a brother who has a snake person. You're right, Hank. Yeah, I probably have several snake people, honestly. So Taylor, I don't want to make accusations that are unfounded, but I would look at the roommate whose mom has a snake guy as a potential source of this snake. Snakes have their slithery and they have, you know, their own goals. So they can go places. One time when I lived in Chicago, I came home to my apartment one afternoon

and there was an iguana in the apartment. Well, here we go. And I was pretty sure what had happened, you know? So I went downstairs with the iguana and I said, hey, are you missing an iguana? And they were like, no. And I was like, are you sure? And they were like, yeah, no, our iguana is here. And I was like, do you want a double check? And then they came back like 30 seconds later and they're like, oh yeah, that is our guant. And I was like, here you go. That's fantastic.

Yeah. We have no way. We don't even know. That's the best case circumstance with the last pet is that somebody shows up at your house and is like, did you lose your pet? And you're like, no, but that is my dog. Right. You saved all of the work. Yeah. I mean, it does seem like the sort of situation where you do a canvas and you're like, hey, did you lose a snake? Or did you knowingly let a snake get pregnant?

Is that what happens? I don't know what happens. Yeah, I think I don't, I actually, I'm not sure. There's a number of people. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. I want to revise. If this is a game of clue, I would like to revise my accusation. Is it just a snake guy? You think it's the snake guy? I think it's the roommates mom. Mm hmm. I think the roommates mom found herself with one too many snakes, and she was like, I can't believe I let 75 snakes hatch on my watch.

I have to get rid of all these snakes. And so you're just like, given people pies with snakes inside. Oh, go off. On, undo, undo, undo, unanswer the question, move on, un, cancel, control Z. Probably, no, it's just like, when she like did your laundry, she slipped a snake in. Please, no, no, no, please. How else would have happened? First off, if your mom is doing your laundry,

when you have an apartment, you live somewhere else. Agreed. And she slips a snake in there, like, that's the cost of doing business. I mean, that's perfectly acceptable behavior. Uh-huh. You deserve a hum free. If it's in a baked pie.

No. Well, yeah, because like, well, there's a bunch of problems with that idea. A ton. So I don't think a pie would be the correct delivery mechanism. I want to go back to before I knew that. There's no new, you know nothing. I want to live in a world without that image so bad way. Like, I'm just, it's slithering out of like a beautiful key line pie.

And I'm, I think it's going to be cute. It's got a little hat, a meringue on it in my head. Oh, goodness gracious. A little meringue hat. Oh boy. I think as you should ask around, because this might be someone else's snake. And if it's not, it's your snake now. This next question comes from Sophie,

who asks, dear Hank Adjohn, I recently came into possession of 50 pounds of onions and 25 pounds of potatoes. I live in a small studio apartment, so while I appreciate the like root vegetables, they have taken up a considerable amount of space in my living area. Beyond French onions, super ding dong ditching them

at my neighbor's doorstep. I'm at a loss for what to do with all these vegetables. Any dewey advice would be greatly appreciated with layers of deep rooted issues. Sophie, that's great. We've got layers which are onions and deep rooted which are potatoes. Yeah, that's, I think that's how we got there. So, hey, I think you'll agree with me that the 50 pounds of onions is the issue here because 25 pounds of potatoes is like a five-day supply of potatoes. I can get through 25 pounds of potatoes, for sure.

Like, you can have, like potatoes are on every meal thing. Though onions can be too, and onions and potatoes together are very good. Yeah. But like a two-to-one ratio of onion to potato maybe is too much onion per potato. Yeah, wait-wise for sure. So what you need to do is get 25 more pounds of potatoes.

This is the problem. You don't have enough potatoes. Yeah. This is what has happened. I don't think you have nearly enough potatoes because I think you need to have like 75 pounds of potatoes to deal with 50 pounds of onions. Right. And then actually I have, Sophie, I have a recipe for you. I will post it on the Patreon at patreon.com slash dear hang a John. I will also email it to you. It is my recipe for roasted potatoes with onions and other root vegetables if you want. You can

use carrots and lots of other things. And it's delicious. Sure, you can make potato soup and that can have at least three or four pounds of onions in it. You'd be amazed how much onion you can sneak into a soup. Yeah. When I make chili, I probably put like two pounds of onions in the soup and nobody knows because they just disappear.

Nobody knows where they go. I really do think that onion is, I mean, it's hard to say that it's under appreciated because of course they're all over the grocery store and people do eat them lots, but I think they're really good. They're good in every way. Like they're good raw, they're good.

Onions aren't that good raw? I mean, I guess like a little like a thin slice on a hamburger. Yeah, you don't want to like take a bite out of the wall, but like, I can use them as a garnish and lots of different ways raw. And then I even like little bits of them raw just to keep me going during the day.

Oh, it's a little pick me up. Is that weird? Now that I've said it out loud, it seems weird. What do you do? Like just instead of coffee? No, I just take like a quarter of an onion and I slice it up, but I know that I'm saying it. It sounds really weird, but I slice it up into, you know, little, little sticks of onion

that I, that I, and they're nice and crunchy. Oh, like a carrot. And then you just like, but rub it in your eyes to get your real going. No, no, just to eat them because they're delicious. They taste really good. I think you can do this, Sophie. I think that if you reorient your diet around onions and potatoes for the next four weeks, you can do this.

I think, and I think at this point, it is a challenge. I think at this point, you can't give these onions away. You have to figure out how to get through them. And I will say that if you put oil and onions in a pan and heat it up, every person will walk into the room and be like, oh, what's smells so good? What's your cooking?

It smells really good. It smells so good. It's all you need is oil and onions and suddenly it smells so good. Yeah. Also, if you make caramelized onions, they basically disappear. You can take like 30 onions and it turns into nothing, but they're delicious as a garnish. And then you can give them away for Christmas presents, little jars of caramelized onions, that you have to specify you need to eat in the next week

or so because I don't know how to can. And so these might be poisonous soon. I could have botuisms just heads up. I love that about canning. Like the great thing about canning is it goes to other forms of food preparation. It's almost like eating that like rare blowfish or whatever that if you eat the wrong part of it, you die instantly.

Right. It adds some real drama to the food preservation process. It's interesting. Canning to me is almost identical to knitting, except with the risk of death. Yeah. It's like a ton of work. The thing that you come out with is like something that you could have bought at the store, much less expensively, but like it's sort of like a lovely artisanal activity, but then also a little bit of spice. Yeah, it's maybe botulism. Right, it's meditative, but there is this increased risk.

Like when I first learned about canning with mom, I was like, wait, so if we don't get this up to the right temperature, we might die. Like, I, this is pretty heavy metal. Yes. Like, so if we do not take our food preservation advice,

don't take any of our advice, snake related food preservation a bit, but really don't take our food preservation advice, that said, I don't think you need to preserve anything. No, you can do it. If you're just focused and committed and you work hard. That's right.

How many onions are in 50 pounds of onions? I want to try to consume 50 pounds of onions now. That seems like my kind of 2020 challenge. You can get 50 pounds of onions for $11.29. Why don't I do that? Onion, wait, per onion. How onion, wait, per onion. How onion wait per onion? That's what Google does to us.

About 4.34 ounces. Okay, actually, you know what, that's a lot of onions. It's like 30. It's 200, it's 200. No, an onion does not weigh four ounces. A tiny raw onion average weight, 4.34 ounces, according to onions dash USA dot org hank. I mean, we are talking, we're talking about onions dash USA dot org.

We're not talking about some kind of off brand website. That's just a smelly. This isn't like a map my calories or whatever. They literally their website is called all about onions. And the first thing is nature's ninja. It is the onion, a phenom of mother nature that deserves higher praise for its stealth, its endurance, and its adaptability and sustainability with its nutrients that help you ward off diseases when you eat. It's

also a major action hero slaying bacteria and bugs in the fight just to get on the table. It provides amazing flavor to any meal and it's useful in other ways, such as dying fabrics, curing bee stings, cleaning grills or feeding sheep. I did not make that up. I think that is from onions-usa.org, America's leading onions information site. The National Onion Association. I rescind my criticism. I'm sure that onions weigh what they say. We have to trust expertise in our society. And that means when somebody comes along and says, we are the National Onion Association,

the chief advocate of this nature's ninja, which we have branded and animated on the website with a sword, which he must be very careful with because everyone knows that the eventual fate of all onions is this sword. I think that the National Onion Association might have developed to this ad campaign like during the fruit ninja craze to make the argument that like onions are nature's ninja. Uh-huh. But it's working in 2020 for me. I have to say, I'm hungry for some onions right now. Here's some reasons why the onion is Nature's Ninja.

You just told me a bunch already. There's more. Can I just reread? This is the actual National Onion Association website on its product, onions. A phenom of mother nature that deserves higher praise for its stealth, its endurance, its adaptability and sustainability. It's stealth. It's stealth. You know what? I have never applied a certain adjective to an onion and it's that it can hide from me well. I've never like, where are

they? Yeah, I can't find it. Yeah, Sophie's like, I wish they were a little stealthier. Can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get,

I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get,

I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I can't get, I That's like you can do it. Honestly, that's less than a week. I eat at least three pounds of potato a day and I'm not even trying. Do you want to know some common onion myths? I do, John. Okay, so one of the ways that you know that the National Onion Association is reliable source of information about onions

is that even though it would be good for them if onions did promote hair growth, which is apparently a widespread myth, they come out and say very clearly, probably not specifically they say that the evidence, and I'm quoting here, may not be strong enough to verify this claim. I love every word in that dependent clause. It may not be strong enough to verify the claim that rubbing raw onion on your head promotes hair growth, but it may be. We can't be sure.

Now, a lot of research has been done on this. None of it has indicated that it is true, but it, but we, so we cannot say for sure whether it is true. John, I've done it in the Onion Association's trivia page. And do you want to know how many pounds the average American each per year? I have terrible news. It's 20. So 50 is going to be a lot for like the near term. Yeah.

I mean, you may need to donate these onions. Unfortunately, yeah, you may need to find... We came out strong thinking this was possible. We're dialing it back. If you want to try and make it work, I encourage you to, because I think that the National Indian Association would love your support. But if you want to go ahead and solve that problem another way. I mean, it's 10 onions a day for three weeks. I think you can do that. I think I could do it. Wait. Notable, quotable onions.

Okay. I'm back on, I'm back on onions USA now. This is, now this is, this is officially now an onion's only podcast. I mean, this is a really good website. Ulysses S Grant said, I will not move my army without onions. Wow. So take that. Sophie, you are in a better situation than Ulysses S. Grant was when he won the American Civil War. So consider yourself lucky.

Yes, he did it all by himself, Sophie. He did it. He just hit him in onions. They gave him 50 pounds of onions and he marched south and won the war. That's exactly what happened. History with Hank, if he can do it, you can do it. So if you're looking for some recipes, there's a really good section of the National Onion Association website. That's all about,

it's not just about like recipes for food. You got to remember that they're the business of selling onions. So it's recipes that use way more onions than you think are necessary. Their recipe, their recipe for Pesto involves one onion. That's more than is necessary. That's hilarious. They're delicious recipes. You will, when you eat the National Union Association's recipes, you will find yourself thinking, it can really, really taste the onion. Okay. We got him.

We got him. We have to move on. We have to move on. We have to move on. We've entered into a level past ridiculousness into depravity. We have to move on. We have to move on. We have to move on. This next question comes from Sarah who writes,

dear John and Hank, how is a person supposed to react when someone asks them, are you blushing? Oh, I mean, obviously I'm blushing, but I didn't want anyone else to know about it, especially when the reason I'm blushing is the person sitting next to me. I'd appreciate some advice, including that of a dubious nature. Thanks, Sarah. Yeah, I mean, the only real, I think in general, if someone asks you if you're blushing, the main unavoidable response is that you blush more. So it's so true. In fact, nothing makes me blush like the question, are you blushing?

And so maybe the proper answer, Sarah, is to like look at the person and to say, well, I wasn't. But I am now. Or you could be like, I got a sudden and quickly reversible sunburn. And how did I get it? From the radiance of your beauty. No, don't say that, Sarah, that's such a bad idea.

Or alternately, you could say like, I'm blushing a little, but it's because I have a crush on that person, not because of my crush. I don't have a crush on you. That's the word. Yeah, don't ask people if they're blushing, like just observe it, use the information that it conveys and move on. Yeah, God, why do our bodies betray us? They're like, you are experiencing an emotion that you would like to hide here. I am making that impossible now. So I think are you blushing is usually one of the like roundabout ways of trying to ask someone out,

but it's such a bad way. I mean, that is, are there any good ways? Yeah, it's always a lot. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I'm one of my great ambitions in life is never to do it again. So clearly didn't find it that pleasant. As with all questions about relationships, we really helped not at all on that one. Here's another one from Grayson,

who asks, Dear Hank and John, can animals have pets, tonsils and trombones, Grayson? Now this one, I am an expert on. Can animals have pets? Well, they do, but do they? Because it's a human construct, of course. Like the idea of a pet, there are certainly lots of mutualistic

and symbiotic relationships. And so animals like live together, but a pet kind of like means that you have this, you have this animal around and you take care of it and it's just for your sort of personal satisfaction. Like it's providing you no service other than like, I have animal and I like it. I think it provides you with a lot of services.

It just, it doesn't provide you with services like getting you food or whatever. I guess, yeah. I guess you could definitely say that like a dog is a mutual in a mutualistic relationship because like we feed the dog and the dog feeds us affection and meaning and all of the things and just like cuteness, which is all great, all very useful.

Yeah. So I guess in that case, Coco the gorilla has definitely all very useful. Yeah. So I guess in that case, Coco the Gorilla has definitely had pet cats. Oh. It was sort of like a, you know, a companion animal. So in that case, it's very much, that is very much the case.

But this is also done for other animals. Horses are often given, if you don't have enough like space or money for two horses, you really can't have a horse all by itself. And so oftentimes you'll get a goat for the horse, or a miniature horse for the horse, or like just something to be around the horse. In fact, in researching this question, I discovered that there was a horse that had a seeing eye goat that would help the horse go to all the right places because the horse was blind.

Wow. And so in that case, it's like a service animal, in addition to being a pet. So, I think that the line there can be blurry and is not a service animal, obviously not always a pet. So yes. So yes, animals can have pets. And they do. And it's cute.

And it's cute. It's even cuter when they have pets than when we have pets. Although all of our pets are cute, even our snakes. Yeah. There was an elephant that adopted a dog too if you want to let that up. That's also very we have pets, although all of our pets are cute, even our snakes. Yeah. There was an elephant that adopted a dog too, if you want to look that up. That's also very cute. It is. All right, Hank, we have another question that I don't know the answer to. So I thought I would ask you, it's from Kelly who writes,

Dear John and Hank, today is my birthday, and I would like to know whether it is reasonable to think that the Earth today is in the same position relative to the Sun as it was on the day I was born. Or will it have changed because of like leap years and the wobbliness of time and space and whatnot? I figure after 47 years there must be a little change, but how much? I guess it depends on, so we're just like sun, earth system. We're not thinking about the sun and the earth moving through the galaxy, which it is, which is weird on its own. It is. I mean, there's no fixed point. That's the end of the observation. That's correct.

There is no fixed point. That was Einstein's great, great insight. There is no fixed point. There's nothing, there's no fixed point. Yeah, it is really weird. And yet things can't go faster than speed of light. How does that work? Time gets involved and then you're like, no, that doesn't seem right, but it is apparently. But there's

no like middle, there's no middle that we're all spinning around. Instead, we're all spinning around things that are spinning around things that are spinning around, it's turtles all the way down. Yeah, well, I guess they were right. It is, there is definitely no middle. There are a couple of ways in which you are not in the exact same spot. So like, yes, yes, you are kind of, but you've also moved away a little bit. So earth is actually a little farther from the sun than it was when you were born. So in that way, you aren't in exact to the same spot. There's also like rotation and revolution are not synced. So you are, you are at a different point on the earth than

you were then facing the sun in a different direction than you would have been. Oh, wow. And there's also the fact that the sun isn't actually the center of the solar system. It just contains the center of the solar system. So the sun also orbits around the center of the solar system. It's just that the center of the solar system is inside of the sun. So the sun wobbles around a little bit as the rest of the mass in the solar system, particularly the gas giants affect the center of mass of the solar system. So there's all those things, but like, yeah, basically, I think,

but write to write in if you think that I might be wrong, because there might be things that I'm not accounting for here. That's very weird to think that the center of the solar system is not the sun. It's just inside of the sun. That's hard for me. That's like, every time you explain to me that the universe has no edge, but it is expanding. Sorry. I've done my best with that one.

Okay. Let's move on to this question from Brian who writes to your Jonathan Henk. I was noticing that the English language seems to have a monopoly on naming hurricanes. Is there a naming board for this? Do countries call the same hurricane different names? Surely, forecasters around the world aren't talking about potential damage from like hurricane Steve. Are they from like hurricane Steve, are they? From a dentist chair, Brian.

Oh, nice. I love that when you're like, well, I guess I'm lying here. Yeah. And I've had a thought about hurricanes. Yeah, I mean, yes, from around the world, we are all taught. So we use standardized names once the name is created

and the name is created by different organizations that handle different areas of the ocean. So Atlantic tropical cyclones are named by a board and they're not all American English sounding names. Like in 2024, the first named tropical cyclone will be called Hurricane Alberto, followed by Hurricane Barrel, B-E-Y-R-L, which is apparently a name. But then we got Debbie and Chris and Ernesto and Francine, Helene is also on there.

So yeah, we will, we mix it up, but there are different organizations that handle different areas. And so yeah, you end up with Steve hitting Nicaragua, and that is a little weird, but obviously in the Pacific cyclone system, there are lots of names that you will never have heard of, because they are based on Pacific names. And there's also an area of the ocean that

impacts Hawaii, and so all those cyclones are named Hawaiian names. And that's the Pacific Ocean from 140 degrees west to 180 degrees west. So basically carve up the ocean, name them based on the area, the organization that names cyclones in that area. So the long and short of it is that there could be a hurricane Steve in Nicaragua. Oh, yeah, definitely. And also, it's important to note that only when they form in the Atlantic, are they hurricanes? I don't, there is no reason for this that is the same kind of storm system, but no one else uses that word. Yeah, they use typhoon or cyclone, right?

Correct. What a, what a system. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, through the whole alphabet, then you go just to Greek letters. And we got several letters into beyond where we have ever been before. But not where we will ever go, which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by hurricane names, hurricane names. It's not the most efficient system, but it's also not the best one. This podcast is also brought to you by Eulissie's. That's Grant. Eulissie's that. Fueled by onions.

And today's podcast is, of course, brought to you by Taylor's roommates, mom's snake guy. Taylor's roommates, mom's snake guy. Your source for snake information since earlier in 2020. This podcast is also brought to you by blushing. Blushing. I'm sorry that you didn't want us to know how you were feeling. That's just too bad. Your body has betrayed you. John, do you want to rescind your opinion about

Twix because people were real mad at you? Yeah, you do. I don't. I don't. I don't. That's what I wanted to hear. I don't. Because I'm like one of those provocateurs on the internet. You just says things that get people riled up and then people are riled up and they write to me and even though they don't like me, it makes me feel good because they responded in some way. Right. That makes me feel like I'm not alone in the universe. You exist. It makes me feel like I'm real. All of your Twix love just confirms for me my reality which in turn makes me hate Twix even more than I already did when we were starting. Twix is basically an onion. If you think about it, come at me, that's my

heart dick. Wow, that is provocative, Hank. I mean, it is hard to let that one go. Man, people were so mad about the Twix thing. It was amazing. I do like Twix. But look, if you're gonna, if you're gonna like, Koda cookie and chocolate, I'm gonna like it. Doesn't have to be good. That's literally the only thing that we have to deal with from the responses,

but it's like 200 emails. So, with that aside, so many people were really passionate about their Twix. And they're, look, they're a good candy bar, but John doesn't like them. Let's move on to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. I'll go first. So Hank, you will recall how I have been complaining low these many months that AFC Wimbledon consistently

score too early, more than any other team in professional English soccer when AFC Wimbledon score a goal. That means that they are about to give up a goal. Often only two or four or six minutes between scoring a goal and giving one up. So AFC Wimbledon went to Rochester this weekend and what did they do? Hank, they were thinking, they were were thinking they were thinking they were thinking let's not score too early. So they scored with essentially the last kick of the game. Thereby at last ensuring a one-nil victory. It was a, it was a work of tactical genius for manager, Glenn Hodges. I want to give him all the credit. He, he brought on with

five minutes remaining to attacking substitutions, Ethan Chislett and noted small bottom big, Oli Palmer, who might be seven feet tall. Like when he gets on the football pitch, it appears that he is the only grown up and everyone else is like nine or 10 years old. I love that. So they bring those two guys on. And then in the 90 second or 93rd minute, Ethan Schislet scores a beautiful goal, well-worked team goal after like soaking up so much attacking play for the entire game. It was a snatch and grab job where we got 30% of the possession and 100% of the goals. It was beautiful, brilliant AFC Wimbledon. And now, shockingly, stunningly, how can this be AFC Wimbledon more than one fourth of the way into the league one season are in 12th place.

That's exactly the middle. But for us, to be in 12th place is like another team being in first. I cannot remember the last time we were in 12th place at this point in the season. Like even when we got promoted from the 4th division to the 3rd division, I don't think we were in 12th place at this point in the season. The only downside to all of this is that the relegation zone is relatively high this year. So currently the 21st place team, the first team that would get relegated down to the fourth tier is on 12 points after 12 games. Right.

And we have 17 points after 12 games. So it's relatively close, but oh, there's so much fun to watch this year. It's just so exciting. Every time I watch a Wimbledon game this year, it's just so enjoyable. I love the way that we're playing. And by the way, if you want to watch or listen a Wimbledon game this year, it's just so enjoyable. I love the way that we're playing. And by the way, if you want to watch or listen to Wimbledon games, you can download the I follow app. It's a little bit complicated, but like you can watch them live.

I watch every single game live and the commentary from the radio, WD, and commentators. It's just phenomenal. I think they're like the best commentators in world football. It's an absolute joy. We finally didn't score too early. It's magnificent. What's the news for Mars? I'm very happy.

In Mars news, this is actually really big news. We have potentially found evidence of recent volcanic activity on Mars. Whoa. We've always known that Mars has had volcanoes, and they are thought to be an active. Previous research has shown that the last eruption was about 2.5 million years ago though. So even with that, that's very recent in terms of the, you know, four and a half billion year life of Mars. Two and a half million years ago, indicates that maybe somewhere there could still be

existing pockets of hot enough Mars that there would be volcanic activity of some kind. But a new paper suggests that there might have been an eruption as recent as 53,000 years ago in an area called Cerberus Fosse. The scientists behind the work are basing this on a six mile wide crack in Mars' surface near a volcano called the Visea Mons. The crack resembles what you would get with a Fisher eruption. This is where there's a subsurface volcanic activity, so below the surface and that's

creating superheated ash and dust that rips through the surface. Basically, there's a volcano underneath the crust of Mars and then that eruption doesn't like come up over the surface, but the result of that eruption cracks the surface of Mars. And they wanted to figure out how long ago that crack had formed and they did that by counting the number of craters around it that would have been covered up by that eruption. So from that counting, they've estimated that the eruption happened anywhere between 53,000 and 210,000 years ago,

which is extremely recently geologically speaking. Like that would be an eruption on Mars during the lifespan of humans, which is not that long on Earth. So if that result holds, the fact that we have a recent volcanic activity on Mars would indicate that there's still a lot of heat down there, a lot of activity down there, which would impact our understanding of what life would be like on the planet since that could melt subsurface ice. But this is a pre-pub, so it's before peer review.

Not all scientists are sure that we know enough about these kinds of craters and this kind of eruption to use them to estimate age in this way. But scientists have also noted that if they're off by like a few million years, that could still be like really important information in our understanding of Mars's geologic activity, because even if it was two million years ago, that would still be very recently to understand more of the eruptions and activity that we're seeing on Mars, which could mean definitely that there's a lot of heat still inside of that planet. That's, that's so interesting. When we started this podcast, I remember I would often refer to Mars as a cold dead rock

in the vacuum of space. And these days, just five years later, I mean, I don't feel nearly as certain about Mars being as cold or as dead as I believed it to be back then. Yeah, definitely got warm spots on the inside. And who knows, John, we got to go and see. Who knows? Who knows? That reflects, I guess, a larger process that I've been through in the last five years of becoming less certain about essentially everything. And isn't that just a process of aging and also of, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, yeah, living through the last five years? Well, Hank, thank you for potting with me

and thanks to everybody for your question. Sorry, we didn't answer more questions this week. We just got real sidetracked by onions. So, I just think they're neat. Yeah, no, they're phenomenal. Not like, eat 200 of them in a month phenomenal, but really high quality, stealthy ninja foods. Ha!

Ha! You can email us your questions at hankinjohn and gmail.com. We're off now to record our Patreon only podcast at patreon.com slash deer hankinjohn. It's called This Weekend Stuff. We talk about stuff. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Meta. It's produced by Rosiana Halcero-Hassan-Shared in Gibson.

Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom. Our editorial assistant is Debuki Chakravarti. The music you're hearing now, and if you're beginning the podcast, it's by the great gunorola. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

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