Dear Hank & John - 274: Not and Never Both

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Is Benjamin Harrison the exact middle president of the USA? How did you predict a pandemic? Would a younger version of me be able to open my phone? When did we start counting minutes and seconds? Why would a bathrobe have a hood? What are small things humans do that make you happy?  Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Do you always prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank? It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you the best advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and FC Wimmelton. John? John, I really hope that, because we're recording this before the inauguration, but I hope Joe Biden showed up to the inauguration as this is coming out. Because otherwise, that would be an unprecedented situation. I would have laughed hard at that Hank if it felt like a joke.

Yeah. So, so as usual, we are recording our podcast, significantly in advance. And usually I feel very comfortable doing that. Right now, I just need everyone to know that we are in a different time than you are. I haven't felt comfortable with the six day lag in at least 10 months. I have to say, but I feel especially uncomfortable with it now. But like in general, I think that we need to focus on some evergreen questions, because the truth is, who knows when this is coming out? And that brings me to the first issue

that our podcast is facing. Yeah. Usually we save the corrections and comments for the end of the podcast, but Elise Rodeon. But John has been obsessed with this for weeks. I have. So I have Elise wrote in and said, dear John and Hank, in an episode of the pod from 2018, you said that if we had a new president, it would mean that Benjamin Harrison would

be the exact middle president. While this is probably the least important thing right now, it is genuinely as Elise. Thanks for pointing that out. Is this a reason to celebrate? Thank you, Elise. I don't even, I'm not even sure why John's been obsessed with this, but he's been talking about it for weeks. I still don't know why I'm obsessed with it, Hank. No, tell me. Because whether Benjamin Harrison is the exact middle

president right now depends on one huge factor. Do you consider? I can't believe that it's, that it's, that there is one that like to me, it seems like that is a yes or no question, and it is very cut and dried. But tell me why this is confusing. Because if you go and look at a list of the presidents of the United States of America, you will find that inexcusably over and over and over again in our history books on Wikipedia in our official listings of which president, which number president over and over and over again, Grover Cleveland is listed as the 22nd and 24th president of the United States. It's unacceptable. He's one person. And yes, he was president and then Benjamin Harrison

became president and then Grover Cleveland became president again. He's one person. Okay. He does not get to be two presidents. I think you're right. Because like Ronald Reagan wasn't the, I don't know, like 39th and 40th president of the United States. I'm guessing which one he was simply because he was reelected, correct? Yeah. He's just the one of those. And so whether or not Benjamin Harrison is currently the middle president depends on whether you define Grover Cleveland as having been the 22nd president when he began being president or the 24th president when he finished being president.

And I should say that I guess I should say when he finished being president up to the president because we do not know Hank in the future if we're going to be able to like resurrect old presidents and reelect them. That does not seem out of the realm of possibility to me anymore. It's possible that the United States of America is going to vote for the animatronic Grover Cleveland that plays a Disney's Hall of Presidents to be president. I don't know what. Okay. All I know is that he can't be both the 22nd and the 24th president.

It's unconscionable. Now I want to run the numbers and be like, okay, we're going to have a president off and all the presidents are going to run against each other. We're going to decide who the best one is. That's going to be better than any rando we pull out these days, especially considering gestures Broadway. The situation. So so who would like so like just let's put them all against each other like it's the sweet 16 or whatever they call it the magic 32.

Yeah. What do they call it in basketball? I believe that is correct. Yes. The the old magic 32 followed by the super, followed by the great eight. It's actually great eight is so much better than what it actually is, which is elite eight. I know.

And then there's the final four, which is a very good, good catchy thing, but they don't have anything to refer to the last two, which I've always, that's another, while we're talking about things that I find problematic. Well, isn't the last two just the final? Yeah, but if you're going to have like the sweet 16 and the elite eight and the final four and not have the final two, right, I find it confusing. Because I guess, I guess the final four is the semi-finals and then the finals are the finals. So if you've got

a name for the semi-finals, you should have a name for the, you decide now, John, you are in charge. What is it called when the final two basketball teams face off? The Suu-2. I didn't like it. The hold on. The Mr. McGu-2. I think you're gonna have to.

It's a new film coming out from Disney. And so they sponsored the last game of the NCAA basketball tournament. Our international listeners are really enjoying this bit. What about pairing? Can we do anything with pairing? The glaring pairing.

The glaring pairing. They're so good you can't even look. Shield your eyes. They sink them all. Oh, Hank, before we get to questions for our listeners, I just want to go through one more corrections slash comment that we got from Izzy, who really didn't say. Is that it?

I feel like I should disagree with you on the Grover's Cleveland situation so that we could have some tension, but I just agree with you. Yeah, so I don't have a firm conclusion about whether Grover Cleveland is the 22nd or 24th president. All I know is that he's not the 22nd or 24th president. All I know is that he's, he's not the 22nd and the 24th. I just want to read one more comment that came in from Izzy, who wrote, okay, but the number of times that you guys talk about a global pandemic happening on

dear Hank and John in 2018 and 2019 is startling. And I'm pretty sure you didn't plan this, but it's freaky. Yeah, so the thing to understand is, is that we did see it coming because everyone saw it coming. There are many things that we do see coming. Like if an asteroid hit Earth, there would have been a lot of people in the year beforehand who'd been being worried about that asteroid

because we're worried about the asteroid. This isn't like a made up fear. Right. It's an actual a made up fear. Right. Like it's an actual thing to be pretty concerned about. We've been, you know, in like living, not maybe living memory, there have been asteroids big enough if they had hit in the right place

that it would have caused tremendous amount of death and destruction, but like they were in the middle of nowhere, which is most of the earth is. So that's a good thing. And so like, and these are, it would be of like, on the scale of things, not very big rocks can do a lot of damage.

And then there's of course the potential of a very big rock that would be, you know. We tend to think about asteroids as only dinosaur like extinction level events, but there are also like chances for asteroids to hit Earth that would be very bad, but like like we'd be okay as a species. That's the most likely outcome, but still lots and lots of people would die. Yeah, and even that is far less common than global disease pandemics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. From novel viruses that make the jump from animals to humans and starting a novel disease pandemic. Like that is common. I mean, it's really quite common. We've had, it's happened several times in my life. Right. And it is a relatively common phenomenon. And this will bothers me so much actually about the conspiracy theory that Bill Gates like caused COVID or saw COVID coming because he gave a Ted

talk in which he said we are not prepared for the next devastating global disease pandemic, which reflected not just the thinking of Bill Gates, but the entire public health community was in absolute agreement that we were not and by by the way, still are not, anywhere close to prepared for the next devastating global disease pandemic. And now we are living the consequences of that inevitability. The next time there is a devastating global disease pandemic, and there will be a next time, we will have a choice about whether or not we became more prepared as a species. Yeah.

Preparation as a species doesn't just mean building resilience in the healthcare system. It also means having a stronger healthcare system for everyone around the world so that we can more quickly identify these disease outbreaks and more quickly control them, especially in impoverished communities. It means having a public health infrastructure that isn't gutted by governments every four to eight years, depending on whose in power. And it means lots of other things. But we didn't see it coming, except in so far as everyone saw it coming. Yeah.

And it's the most likely bad thing. It's just the most likely bad thing. What's your next one down, John? I mean, the problem is for me, infectious disease pandemics are like my first seven because we've just had one version of it. There's a lot of different shapes, yeah. I have, yeah, I do. It's like saying like, what are you afraid of

other than shapes? And I'm like, well, I'm afraid of triangles and rectangles and circles and cubes. Like, for me to get past shapes takes forever. But I guess like my next level one would be a catastrophic collapse of the financial system, especially if a country like the United States were to default on its debt, or the overall credit market in the world were to freeze in a way that central banks couldn't unfreeze, that would be very, very, very bad. So that's my second one. I feel like we are deeply reliant on a global financial system that even the people who run it aren't totally certain of its steadiness.

Mine is a power grid collapse. That would also be bad. I do worry about that. Either caused by cyber terrorism or a physical terrorism, which could also do it, or solar flare, which could also do it. Yeah.

And especially if that happened in a place where the grid wasn't particularly strong, and the populace is really reliant on climate control of the indoors to survive, which isn't so much the case here, like we can live for a pretty long time in most places in the US without electricity. But if you're in a place where it's very hot, that can sometimes not be the case. Yeah. No, there are a lot of things that can go wrong. And the last year has, I think, made us all more conscious of them.

It's also important to remember that we can work together to minimize the cost of these big events. Yeah, I mean, we didn't do a good job of that in the last, like, 10 years. And that's part of why we're having such a difficult time right now. Yeah, it's really hard to invest in things, especially if you haven't seen them in a while, or have never seen them. Yeah. It's just hard to get the political will to get the money into the places to, I don't know,

plan for an asteroid, actually. You know, we're doing, it's funny. We see now a lot more of these stories where like this asteroid is going to pass close to Earth, and it's like, oh, it's scary. That's such good news, because it used to be that those asteroids gonna pass close to Earth and it's like, oh, it's scary. That's such good news. Because it used to be that those asteroids would pass close to Earth and we'd have no idea. Now we know, like we have systems that are tracking asteroids now in ways that we never had 10 years ago.

And so this is like our first, we are now at the point where it is possible that if there is an asteroid that threatens Earth, we might be able to do something about it. This isn't like, like when those two movies came out, Armageddon and the other one, deep impact. Yeah. At that point, we couldn't have done anything.

Right. We just would have been sitting here being like, well, we have two days. Oh, that would be a bad two days. Be a bad two days. I'd probably just spend a doom scrolling. Yeah. It's how successfully the internet has hijacked my consciousness.

Let's move on to questions from our listeners. This first question comes from Michael who writes, dear John and Hank, can you settle a bet for us? The second person in us is never defined in this question, which I kind of like. I'm 38 years old and I have an iPhone that still unlocks with my finger. Let's say I time travel back to eight year old me.

Don't ask how it just happened. After calming eight year old me down and explaining what an iPhone is, would eight year old me's finger still be able to unlock my phone? And if yes, what would be the age difference? I'd have to try and travel back to where my finger would no longer be able to unlock my phone. It's not a huge bet or anything. Just whose name will go first in our podcast. It's not a huge bet or anything just whose name will go first in our podcast. Thanks. So we have to come up with a answer. Yeah.

But I don't know enough about this to be able to answer you if it's looking at like the, well, I don't know enough about either of the things. Like, how does your fingerprint, I know that your fingerprint stays the same as you age, but like, does it expand or does it like, it has to? Well, it must expand rather than like add edge, it just gets bigger. It's like the space between the rings gets bigger. So I guess that's why I think that there's no way it would work because it has to partly rely on the space around the rings, I think.

Maybe. So maybe it's just about like, it's just comparing the difference between the rings in which case, and like the shape overall, in which case it would still work. So not the size, but the shape. So like a circle's a circle no matter how big of this, kind of situation. So you don't have an answer.

No, I have an answer because they need an answer because they need to name their podcast. And so I'm just gonna like say, even though I don't know that this is true, that yes, eight-year-old you would be able to unlock it and but four-year-old wouldn't be able to or Baby you. Okay. Now I want to now I could actually answer this question. It's gonna take me. Well Hank, don't worry There's no need to answer it because we will get letters It's gonna take me 10 years. I'm gonna program AI phone to open with Orn's finger.

And then 10 years from now, I'm gonna test it. I mean, imagine the equivalent in my life is if a 68 year old man ran into my house screaming and was like, I need you to put your finger on this thing. And I looked at him and I was like, you look like the oldest me I've ever seen. And he was like, put your finger on the thing. And I was just like, I bet I could beat you up.

You look old. And I just be like, I have so many questions that aren't related to this question. Like I want to know what, how are things? I mean, honestly, what's it like up there in 2051? I mean, are y'all okay? First off, I would just be delighted, I would just be delighted to know that I'm up there in 2051. I mean, are y'all okay? First off, I would just be delighted to know that I'm still there.

Wouldn't it be great? Because like that way, it's not like, John, do you wanna find out if you died? Because that, you don't, right. I bet you're a person who would rather not. Is that right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't wanna know. Do you wanna know?

Oh yeah, I totally wanna know. Oh gosh, no. No, I would, because if I knew I would just spend a lot of time worrying about it, I would spend so much less time worrying about it. Oh, no. Because I wouldn't need to worry about it. Because I'd know when it was coming.

That's great. And that's one of the things I admire about you, rational worry. Yeah. What was the question? Oh, right. Yeah, if 68-year-old me came back from the future and wanted to talk to me about technology, I would, I would say like, listen, I'm happy to put my finger on that phone,

but I've got about 25 questions. Number one, how many titles do Liverpool win in the next 30 years? Number two. Oh my God. How's the family? This John, this next question comes from Ivan, who asks, dear Hank and John, when did we start to count seconds and minutes? Obviously, we've been counting hours for eons. No, we haven't. But minutes and seconds, it seems like unimportant for someone in the Middle Ages, but very important in modern times, did we have other measurements before?

Pumpkins and penguins, Ivan. I did a little bit of research on this, John. And yeah. I, first of all, the question turns out to be not that interesting. Seconds were mostly not, were not useful for like, come it over at 814 and 30 seconds. Like, that's not what they were supposed for. It was used for like, timing things.

And seconds are called seconds because the person who invented them also created thirds and fourths. And these were other divisions of minutes. So seconds are, so you've got like hours divided into 60ths and that's minutes. And this was alburyunii, an 11th century Persian scholar. So this is a long time ago.

And then the 60th of 60th were the seconds, the 60th of 60th of 60th were thirds, and this is getting hard to say, but eventually you also got fourths. And he had all of these things, and it was mostly like an academic exercise rather than like being useful. But yeah, he created milliseconds,

and he called them thirds. And I'm like, why don't we call them thirds? So that's why they're called seconds. But aren't there a hundred milliseconds in a second? You're right, there are. Which is one of the things that always frustrated me. I think we should go back to that old way of using thirds.

Well, we have 60 minutes and then 60 seconds and then inexplicably a hundred milliseconds. Well, this is how it all is, John, where we've messed everything up. Yeah, it's like the existence of the word 12. Right. I'm like, what? What?

We have like every other word for a letter follows a system. Not 11. But 11 and 12 are like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's super weird. I've always liked 11 because it just seems so bold. You know, you know, like one teen is such a good number. There's nothing wrong with it. It's not hard to pronounce. There's nothing. But we just, it was just one of those moments where our ancestors went to a place of

joy and wonder and serendipity. And they said, sure, we could call it one team, but why not call it 11? Do you know why we think 11 and 12 exist? Why? Because a lot of other cultures were base 12. And so they would start counting. They would switch over at 12 instead of at 10. So the way that we actually still operated base 12 sometimes

when we say one dozen, two dozen, three dozen. Right. And so like in that way, we're counting in dozens. Now, we don't, we're not able to do that at a more granular level than like one individual unit, except for like half dozen. And also like mathematical reasons, why 12 is a good number,

because it's divisible by a lot. So you could like, that's why we have six packs and 12, 12 eggs in a, in a carton and stuff, just because it like, it's easier to stack up in different ways We talked in 12's a lot and so we had the word 12 Before we needed the word 13. Oh Interesting that's actually that's that that's pretty fascinating I'm a little worried that you're lying to me. No, that's great if it's true

Now this is like this isn't like we don't like remember that this happened. There was, isn't like, somebody just kind of it happened. Yeah. Similar to how we pieced together, the fact that it appears that most European languages had no, had a direct word for bear that, that became taboo to say out loud. And so now their word for bear is sort of a, what, what you know who is to Voldemort. Right. And so our word for bear is just a brown. I love that linguistics detective work. Yeah. Like I would have been a bad linguist,

but I would have been a great linguistics detective. Yeah. And it's fun because it's also like it's mathematical in this case where Sumerians were all base 60. And so they counted in base 60, which is why we have 360 degrees in a circle. And it also is divisible by 12. So that's why we have 12 hours in a day. Interestingly, the ancient Greek people, I don't know if we have more than 12 hours in a day.

Well, so this is a thing. We used to only have 12 hours in a day, because in ancient Greece, they adopted the 12-hour day, 12-hour night, but Greece they adopted the 12 hour day, 12 hour night, but they only adopted the 12 hour day and kept what they had as a four hour night. So they already had four hour nights. So ancient Greece. So they had like a 16 hour day. Yeah, but like the nighttime hours were longer. That actually, I mean, I'm not proposing that we go back to that system, but I'll tell

you what I like about it. The night hours are longer. Like, they do pass more slowly. Yeah, you don't have to think about them as much. It's not like, you don't have to be like a broad, specific night hour. Yeah, especially pre-industrial revolution. Like, you could say, like, I woke up at two o'clock in the morning and people would be like, oh, my apologies.

Regardless of whether that's two or three. Yeah, that's a great one. Sort of equally discombobulating. Yeah. Yeah, and the nighttime hours were based on the watches of the military. So if you were in the military, you'd have first, second, third, fourth watch.

Oh. So those remained their nighttime hours because, and then the Babylonian hours were better for the daytime. That's fascinating. We put it all together, man. And all like everything that we base our little world on, somebody came up with it.

Yeah, it's a nice reminder that really history isn't made by individuals so much as it's made by like huge blobs of people moving this way and that. All right, Hank, let's transition to this question from Ellie because it's very important. She writes, dear John and Hank, why on earth would a bath robe ever have a hood? If I'm getting out of the bath or shower, Ellie gross. Nobody takes showers. It's like getting helleted by millions of water bullets. You are the weirder. My hair is wet. Yeah. I'm not weird. Lots of people prefer baths. You should see our inbox ink.

I get a lot of support from my bath taking. I took a bath with a new kind of bath. Oh, no. Oh, okay. I'm not going to say their name because they don't sponsor the show and you got it. We're an independent podcast. Now, if you want to get a mention, you got to either be a listener or pay us. But the level of relaxation I reached even

a minute time when my body is holding a lot to be just to be frank, with you Hank, this is going to surprise you. But right now my body is holding a lot of tension. Yeah. It was such a great bath. And even as I was taking it, I was thinking, God, there are people in this world who think that this is an unpleasant experience. And I do not know how to relate to them. So, Ellie writes, when my hair is wet and I'm putting on the bathrobe hood, it doesn't really dry my hair.

It just rather encourages the water from my hair to drip down my bare back. Oh, and she adds a good point. You thought of this impractical idea and why? Peanut butter and Ellie. This is 100% my experience. It will not surprise you to know that I am a huge fan of very nice bath robes and I enjoy putting on a high quality bathrobe immediately after my high quality bath. It really adds to the spa experience that, you know, I can only have it home now. Never owned a robe, but maybe I should get a robe. You totally should.

Well, I do have a robe. It's the robe that YouTube sent us. Did you get that robe, the giant blanket robe? Yeah, yeah, I have that. That's not really a bathroom, though. It's like a cozy robe. You do own a bathrobe. I do.

It's from cinnamon toast crunch. You're right. They sent it to us. Crunch bathrobe. Yeah, so they get it They sent it to us. Crunch bathrobe. Yeah, so they get it mentioned because they sent us a free bathrobe. And I enjoy cinnamon toast crunch. I find it to be a high quality nutritious breakfast cereal. Their bathrobe is the worst item of clothing I've ever owned.

If the fabric isn't bad, it's not really bathrobe fabric, but it's not uncomfortable. It's just like, it's a pretty revealing bathroom. They didn't use as much fabric as they could have. It's like a significantly above the knee experience. Oh yeah, it's a mini skirt of a bathroom, but that's not Ellie's question. Ellie, I have no idea why this is also my experience. The moment you raise the hood of the bathroom is the moment that the water starts to pour down your back.

It's very uncomfortable. There's nothing good about it. The only good thing about it is that boxers walking into a ring, wearing a bat wearing like their shiny boxing robes with with the hood, they look way, way more intimidating. That's true. And then they pull it off and they're like, whoa, and it's a nice sort of movement. They're like reveal. So that's good. Yes. It's almost like a bride pushing back the veil. Exactly, except with murder in their eyes.

So just harm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Question comes from Brianna who asks, dear Hank John, I know that you're both on TikTok, so maybe you've seen the trend where people share the little things that humans do that make them happy. I've been looking for reasons to stay hopeful, so I just wrote down a list of 20 things that we do as humans that make me happy, and it was a lot of fun to think about. So question is, what are the little things that humans do that make you guys happy?

Salutations, Brianna. I'm very fond of pacing. I think it's wonderful that humans around the world cross culturally, across time, enjoy pacing, and often pace to think. I think it's weird how deeply connected. Like when I was a kid,

I had such a firm separation between the activities of my mind and the activities of my body. Like, I kind of thought of my body as the opposite of my mind. And yet, in order to think straight, my entire life, I have had to pace. I definitely am helped by pacing or the equivalent, which is like doodling or I often will stand up and walk around while I'm on the phone. That's the only way I can sort of keep focused on things.

And I think that we are minds are so active that we have to do that in order to even think. Sometimes it just helps to just walk around. That is kind of cute. I hear the first two I thought of kissing and toast. Yeah. So I'm not sure how both of those popped into my brain at the same time,

but I love that you just like take a piece of bread and you're like I want this Crunchier and then you have a whole device in your kitchen just for that. Yeah, that's kind of adorable And then kissing is super cute whereas just like oh look at those two people. They wanted to like put their lips together They like that feeling. I'm a hundred percent with you on toast And I enjoy kissing. I just don't it's's not something I love like looking at, but I, I'm 100% with you on toast. I think it's, I think it's interesting how with a huge variety of foods, humans are like, I know, this is good.

You know, it would make it better, fire. Well, it's true though. It works. I know. I know it did make it better, but it's just, it's more foods than you would think, right? Like, it's not like we just, like, we just, like, we just, like, we just true though, it works. I know, I know it did make it better, but it's more foods than you would think, right? It's not like we just fry up meat and bread. We also fry up fruits. We make a lot of things hot.

It's true, we do a lot of hot meat. We love a warm meal. It's something I like about us. Yeah, we like our food hot and our drinks cold. That's kind of cute. Yeah, I bet if an alien looked at it, people would be like, that's cute. They like their drinks cold, but like our food hot and our drinks cold. That's kind of cute. Yeah. I bet if an alien looked at it, people would be like, that's cute.

They like their drinks cold, but they're food hot. That's funny. And look how hard they work to get that ice. I mean, look at all the energy that they put into ice creation. That's amazing. Wow. They really like their drinks cold. Yeah.

They should probably stop burning cold to do that. No, that's aliens. You guys, you guys don't get us. You don't understand what we're about down here. Isn't, there's gotta be a better way to get that ice. I was at a, I showed video of this on Vogue Brothers, but I was at the flathead lake and I actually took some ice out of the lake,

and used it to make a drink. Did you really? Which I shouldn't do. You should not do that. Because I washed it off, but still, there could be stuff inside of the ice that got frozen into the ice. Oh yeah.

No doubt about that. No doubt. But I just couldn't help myself. Wow. I could have helped myself when it comes to that kind of thing. It was so pretty. Yeah. I mean, little chips, like rounded chips.

It's great. Oh my God. I mean, I love good ice. I've gotten Giardia twice from the White River, just from paddling with my lips firmly shut 100% of the time. Like, I'll go on a pretty significant kayaking trip with my friend Craig and he'll be like you're pretty quiet today

And I'm like not well paddling buddy You know I'm humming only That reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by GRD. Yeah, the white rivers main export the White River's main export. It's so I feel bad because I feel like I'm discouraging people from using the beautiful green way that runs right through the center of America's 11th largest city, but it is teaming with fecal bacteria. That's just that's just a reality. Today's podcast is also brought to you by Grover Cleveland, Grover Cleveland, either the 22nd or the 24th president of the United States, not and never both.

He is just one man. The podcast is additionally brought to you by sex, a jessimal, sex, a jessimal, the Babylonians numbering system using base 60. So they had a number for every number up to 60 before they started to double them, which sounds hard. Yeah. Then again, like when you were talking about base 12, I realized that there's a bunch of things that are not great about base 10. Oh, base 10 is terrible. Yeah. And so I don't know that we should really be lording it over the Babylonians. Oh, yeah. We haven't, we haven't exactly crushed it. No, I'm embarrassed, frankly, which reminds me, in fact, that this podcast is brought to you by 21st century humanity, 21st century humanity, not exactly crushing it.

Depends on what it is. All right, John, what's the news from AFC Wimbledon? Oh, I mean, in general, it should be noted before talking about the news from AFC Wimbledon that the news in the United Kingdom is very bad at the moment. Hopefully by the time this podcast comes up, it'll be less bad, but right now it's really, really challenging there. And as part of that, AFC Womalden have had several games canceled. We had a COVID outbreak.

Some of the teams we've played against have had COVID outbreaks. And so it's just, the season is continuing, and we are continuing to lose games right on schedule. But it's just such a mess that it's a little hard to like talk about the results on the pitch and not acknowledge that it's all being profoundly shaped by this much larger, global human challenge. We did sign a new goalkeeper. So we've got that maybe going for us, Reading, which is, I think, a team in the second or third division,

they have loaned us a goalkeeper named Sam Walker. He's six foot six, which is great. I mean, that's a good height for a goalkeeper. The nice thing about a tall goalkeeper is there's more of his body that can block the shots at any given time. Like the perfect goalkeeper, you know, would be like about eight feet tall

and 16 feet wide. Sam isn't that. But he's something I love about hockey is that like they just kept making the pads for the goalkeeper bigger. Yeah. And like their gloves got bigger until eventually they had to be like, okay, we have regulated exactly the size that everything can be. Yeah. That reminds me that I sat next to the, and I hope he doesn't listen to the pod, but I sat next to the goalkeeper for the Chicago Black OX at an IndyCar event a while back. And I mean, he looks like he's in shape.

Yeah. You know about, but like, he looked about like me, I would say, you know, like a little, a little fitter than me, but not a lot. Well, like, yeah, I mean, they don't like skate around real fast. They have to be extremely fast. They're like drummers, they're built like drummers because that's their main thing. They have to move quickly.

Yeah, they got those fast twitch muscles. Yeah. Anyway, Sam reports, and I found this very encouraging. I have not been relegated yet. I know what it takes to be down When the pressure is on it's about staying organized competing in every game and picking up the results to propel yourself away from the danger zone Sam I want you to take that message and get it into the hearts and minds of every single AFC Wimbledon player because If there is a rest of the season

It's gonna be very hard not to get relegated. And we are counting on your beautiful, a lanky arms to get us there. Yeah. I cannot wait for the hockey season to start. It starts in two days. All right. I'm happy for you. What's the news from Mars? So you will have heard me talking about the insight mission, which is the one that's studying the interior of Mars and the Mars Quicks and had the heat probe that is still broken. Yeah. That landed in 2018.

The heat probe has been, they've been trying to fix it for that whole time. It appears, they didn't say this outright, but it appears that they are focusing less on that portion of the mission. So they are renewing the mission. So basically Mars like all space missions have sort of like, this is how long we think the mission is going to go for for sure, and then we'll like assess how it's gone and decide whether to continue the mission. So inside has just been extended, but it looks like the heat probe portion of the mission is being basically not as much extended. So we've given up on it is what appears to be the case. But the rest of it's all doing its thing and is doing it very well. There's already some data that's been published about it.

NASA also extended the Juno mission and that'll continue into 2025, or whenever the spacecraft just stops working, whichever of those things happens first. So it's mission extension time over at NASA, so that's what's going on. Yeah, well, sad news, but also happy news. It's great that it's still going to be there doing the majority of its work. Yeah, it would have been cool if they got into work, but they didn't. Yeah, but life is full of disappointments. And speaking of which, before we get corrections, I actually need to correct something from earlier

in this very podcast. Okay. I have successfully Googled the former Chicago Blackhawks goalkeeper in question who I sat next to. And I have seen him now in a shirtless picture that he posted and he does not look like me. He does, no, no part of him looks like not look like me. He does, no, no, no part of him looks like any part of me. We look, we have very different physical appearances.

Just, that's just in case you're wondering in case you are concerned. If J, if you, if you were worried that John would just doing like a Camille non-Giani thing and underneath this shirt, he was actually like frickin' Wolverine. No. Maybe someday. Maybe someday. I feel like the window to that might be closing. I'm not sure that you can really pull that off at like 47, but just keep going as long as we can. I'm not. Well, Camille, Camille is 42, so apparently I could do it. No. But I'm not going to because I had just got my red rather not. But I'm not going to because I had just got my right rather not.

Good for you. You got to know where your priorities are. But the main thing to remember is that the mind is not separate from the body. Yeah. I'll try and keep it a little bit healthy. There you go, Hank. Keep it going. It's all about incremental change. It's not about trying to make dramatic overnight changes. Absolutely not. Just can you take some steps forward? Can you? My therapist, I said recently, I just have to get through this and she said, it's something that you need to move through. And I found that very helpful because it's more about enduring difficult times is more

about moving through them because you are moving even though it feels like or to me anyway, like I'm not, it feels like time has stopped. But we are moving through them and we will continue to do so. Absolutely, John. Thank you for making a podcast with me. Oh, it's always a pleasure. I mean, not always, but it was this week. We're off to record our Patreon only podcast. This weekend's stuff where we're just gonna talk about some things that are making us delighted, happy, we're finding respite in these days.

And you can find out about that at patreon.com slash deerhankinjohn. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Metis. It's produced by Rosiana Halsey and Sheridan Gibson. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom, editorial assistant as Deboky Chalker-Varity. The sound you're hearing right now and beginning the podcast by the Great Generola, and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome. you