Dear Hank & John - 283: Nightmare Antz (w/ Ashley C. Ford!)

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

Why is Earth called Earth instead of Water? How do I be less busy? How do I tell my mom her breath is bad? Was it okay to email my doctor? How will COVID be portrayed in future media? Can a fetus yawn? Hank Green and Ashley Ford have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or as I like to think of it, Dear Ashley and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers and sometimes two friends answer your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Ashley, my brother, said he couldn't make the podcast because he wasn't strong enough. Because he wasn't strong enough, Ashley. And so he had to send me his two-week notice because he was two-week.

That's hilarious. That's my dad joke. That's the one I came up with. That's wild to me, but also that 100%. Just to me, as an observer seems like something, John would say, that he's not strong enough to appear today. John is working very hard finishing up the Anthropocene Reviewed book, which is available

wherever books are sold and also signing about, I don't know how many he's got left, I think he's got like at least 50,000 sheets of paper left. So he's taken on a little bit too much responsibility. So we have freed him a little bit too much responsibility. So we have freed him of the responsibility of Dear Hank and John by having Ashley come and join me. Hello, on extremely short notice. Yes, it's true, very short notice, but I'm here. You are, I got an email from John two hours ago saying,

I can't do Dear Hank and John this week. And then I just started DMing anyone I saw who was active on Twitter. So if you're on Twitter right now, you should be able to do a podcast. I agree. And because that's a rule I live by when the request came in, I had no good reason to say no. None whatsoever. I was like, well, I'm on Twitter.

I could just, I could just keep being on Twitter, which sounds worse than being on a podcast. Way worse. Way worse. Well, thank you for coming on. This is your second appearance on Dear Hank and John, but the first one was with John. So this will be an entirely different experience.

I think so. Let's go. Let's go. Do you want to answer some questions from our listeners? I'd love to. Do you want to start out by telling everybody how wrong I was last episode about how smooth the earth is? I mean, let's be honest, Hank,

when it comes to the roughness of the earth, do any of us have a clear idea? Well, somebody told me, I don't know who it was, and I believed it, some science communicator told me that the earth was roughly was smoother than a billiard ball, is what they said. me that the Earth was roughly with smoother than a billiard ball, is what they said. And I was like, ooh, smoother than a billiard ball.

That's a fact I'm not gonna help forget. But then somebody corrected that person and said, no, it's smooth more like sandpaper, not like a billiard ball, which is also quite smooth, considering how bumpy I feel like the Earth is. Yes, but I mean, when I think about the difference between somebody touching me with a billiard ball and somebody touching me with sandpaper, it does make me want to put a little bit more

distance between me and the earth. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to get roughed up planet hit or why. Please don't, please don't rub me with the earth. Rub me with a smoother planet, please, and thank you. Yeah, that sounds like, I mean, I don't know. What's the smoothest planet? That's a great question. I really wouldn't know that.

I imagine that the gas giants are all pretty smooth because they're like gas. Right. But like, what's that even smooth? It's more like, I heard that a, that Saturn would float is a thing. That's pretty smooth. Which is nothing to do with smoothness. I don't know, but it feels smooth in my heart.

Yeah, there's lots of rough stuff that floats, Ashley. I think... That's a rough trick. But yeah, I don't know. I feel like, when I look at like when I look at a gas giant, I do feel a little bit like I kind of want to, I'm about to say it, vape it. I kind of want to vape a gas giant.

I've never vape anything before, but if I vape something, I want to vape Jupiter. And I'm sure that it would be terrible, much worse than regular vape, which is bad for you, but not as bad as vaping Jupiter, which is made of all kinds of bad stuff. Well, just like regular vaping, you never know until you try. Just kidding. Just kidding.

You don't have to try. We know. We know. We know it's bad for you. We know it's bad for you. And there's all this. I mean, you never know until you try as true of all kinds of definitely fatal things. That's absolutely true. I think about that quite often. You never know until you try as true of all kinds of definitely fatal.

That's absolutely true. I think about that quite often. So that's not actually a good reason to do something. Okay. Do you want to ask you another question about earth? Okay. It's from Bailey who asks, dear Hank and Ashley, if the planet earth is mostly water and not earth, which is the part of the earth that we name the earth after, why did we not call the planet water? You're friendly building and lone Bailey. It was what is what?

I have no idea. I love your fans. It's from it's a wonderful life. It's a wonderful life reference, Ashley. Oh, that's the Christmas movie that for some reason I've never seen. Well, at least you have an excuse for not- It's like the only one.

It's fine. It is, I don't know. I'm more of a diva's Christmas Carol kind of person. That is not what I've seen. Get ready. Because you're gonna now. Let me think. Why isn't the planet's name water?

I guess because that would be too much like right. We don't really like to do things the right way. I like that thought that like we looked at at the question we were like, I'd like to answer this a little bit wrong. Yeah. Like I wouldn't want to go all the way right because we're humans and perfection that just be like on a front to God. Wouldn't it? Yeah. Wouldn't it if we are made in the image? Yes, I think so. I think the flaws are necessary.

Thereby if we had named earth water, which would have been too perfect, it would have been rejected by humanity. Maybe it was water. And then some smart person, someone was like, you know, welcome to water. And then a bunch of other people were just like through Roxana or Acorns, not nothing to mean.

Just like something annoying. And they were like, shut up, Jeff. Just call it Earth. And he was like, fine. For the good of us all. It doesn't matter that much. I feel like a lot of things kind of come down to that. All sort of group decisions come down to like,

ah fine, it doesn't matter that much. Yeah, quite often. Let's not do it perfect. Let's just call it Earth. Here's my feeling. We're on the Earth part and we are a human biased. And I walk outside. I don't see a bunch of water.

I see a bunch of dirt. Fair. And that's Earth. That's fair. But, you know, I don't see a bunch of water. I see a bunch of dirt. Fair. And that's earth. That's fair. But, uh, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I want things to be named after just what I can look outside my window and see. No, it's not a good system. It's not a great system. Oh, no.

But it's what we do. We're like, well, also, we didn't name the earth after the dirt. We named the dirt after the earth. So what water should be called earth? Okay, and okay, should have a different name because if we're looking at To that make it as said. Yes, it made sense to me because basically what you're saying is Because we need earth first We named the planet first. We should have called what we named the planet first right we should have called water Earth we should have been like yeah, that's earth. That's earth stuff. Yes. This was me just drink silence You weren't giving me very like the encouragement. I felt it through the screen. It was very very much like

yes, a leg great. That was fantastic. I'm on a roll. I got it. Yeah, I got to hit you with that dear Hank and John energy. You have to bring it right up. My wife and I record a podcast sometimes very occasionally these days and And recently she guest host a dear Hank and John and she was like, wow, the dear Hank and John energy is different. It's different. You know what's interesting, what's one of the more interesting things to me

about you and John and the interactions that we have from time to time is that you guys never seem to know how much I know about you and how much I actually pay attention to your stuff online. Well, yeah, I mean, that's the safe choices to assume nothing. Of course. Because as soon as you assume some, you're going to make a fool out of yourself. Of course.

Basically, no, I just think it's really, it's always, but you know, I followed the content, man. Like, I was a fan before, like, I had ever met you guys. And so every once in a while, you guys will be like, oh, yeah, like, I have this thing that I do sometimes. And I'm like, I'm aware. I get the newsletter. I literally get the newsletter, man. I know. But you don't have time to keep

up with it anymore because you're like, that's an interesting perception that people have when you have some visibility and success is that you're a very busy person. And I am not. I'm not by choice. I'm not a very busy person. You are not very busy by choice. Yeah. By not. I'm not by choice. I'm not a very busy person. You are not very busy by choice. Yeah, by choice. I am. What are the choices you make to be less busy?

This is a Hank Green question that I desperately need to know the answer to. That's okay. I mean, I don't know that it will always be this way. Now, you know, like I have a book coming out June. And that's a whole thing that'll happen. But I'm pretty introverted. I'm very much a homebody. And I also, I guess, I don't seek out work. I don't seek it out. And I have found that so much of what I've been raised to do and condition to do to a certain extent is to seek out work and more ways to work. And I've just been challenging that a little bit. And that obviously comes with like the privilege of being able to do that,

of being financially stable enough and having enough work that I'm able to say, oh, that is enough. And I don't actually need to do more. And I'm good with that right now. I don't like to be overwhelmed anymore. So I just try to keep that away from me. Ah, yeah. I think ultimately the problem is that I kind of do like to be overwhelmed. And so I'm

just gonna be who I am, where I am, and you're not gonna be able to fix me. Right, yeah! Okay, and I was trying to let myself, I was trying to become a person who was okay with being overwhelmed and a person who could thrive in that space. And I found that I could thrive in that space if that space was the only thing that I allowed to be important to me. That's just me.

But the minute I started having other things be important to me, like, you know, a spouse or a dog who won't stop chewing his paws, asterisk. Thank you. It's like, oh, I don't actually have to be in front of a screen all the time. And that felt good to me. Well, good. I'm happy for you. Yeah, but you're in it. Yeah, but I'm me. And I guess I'll continue to be that.

Good. There are a few questions that we got more than one question in this batch about honesty. And I think that that's interesting. So let's do one from anonymous who asks, dear Hank and Ashley, how do I tell my mom, her breath smells really bad. Just in case she's listening, I'm anonymous. PS, I'm 26 years old, I'm not some cute little kid that can get away with being blunt.

Mm-hmm. I have a hard time with this, with just friends. When it's like, oh, and even when there's like a reason I need to tell them, like we're about to go into an important business meeting, I'm like, well, I guess this is gonna be how it is. Hey, no. No, you can't just leave them to the wolves. All right, there it is. You can't just leave them to the wolves. But what do I do, Ashley?

Okay. So there are so many ways to deal with this, right? So there's the gift giving way, right? So there's the gift giving way, right? Which is that you just are like, hey, picked up some gum for me. It was two for one. I got a pack for you too. Here's your gum. And then they have, they're like, I don't like gum. And then they're like, they don't like gum.

And so you're like, okay, we tried that way. Didn't work out. Got him move on to plan B. And plan B is always, I think, quick compassion correction. Okay. So it's very quick compassion at correction, which is to be like, oh my god, I, every time I'm about to go into a meeting, every time I'm about to do something like that, I, I know that something is up with my breath. It's because I drink coffee, it's because I'm about to do something like that, I know that something is up with my breath. It's because I drink coffee,

it's because I'm always eating garlic, bubble, bubble, so I always keep this with me. I think you should keep one too, just to make sure that before we go into these places, you're feeling good, you're feeling fresh and your confidence is on 10. And then they're like, oh, okay, great. That's like a thing that we do together now

before we go into meetings. Now that's like, I'm thinking more of like a Hank thing with meetings, but with your mom, I think a lot of times it's just like you just have to be like, hey, mom, I've noticed this a couple times. Have you been to the dentist lately? I'm wondering if maybe you have something going on with the tooth.

I'm wondering if maybe there's something going on with your stomach. If you express concern with your mom, it takes, it always takes the staying out of critique. Yeah, because like my my instinct is to do the worst thing, which is like tell them but have it not come from me somehow, like just leave an anonymous letter, just like cut out ransom note style, which is the worst, right? Because like all that's doing is sparing me It's not sparing them like they're like who did this?

How many people know like it could be anyone? Yes Yes, yeah, that's really the thing to do not do don't absolutely just a just a blackout poem Where you like where you get like a page from a book and it's like you just white out all the lines except for Breath that's terrible don't do that to people. Okay. My grandmother was a person who had no sense of tact. Like she didn't have a concept of it. But she, so if you smelled in any way, which you know, when kids go through puberty especially, it's like things are changing. You don't know what's going on. You're trying to help, but you don't know what's going on you're trying to help but you don't know what to do and you're scared to ask and all this stuff and my grandma had no compassion for that situation she would pull you over and go what's going on with you why do you

smell like this you will walk past as she would go somebody smells like a goat nice somebody smells like a goat or Nice. Somebody smells like a goat. Or like you would come and say something to her. Like, hi, Gravaw, if she was smell your breath, she would go, I'm exactly what that sound means. You know exactly what that means. But what do we have a word for that sound? No, no. Like I've definitely experienced it, but I've never put it in a category before. I've never like, yeah, there are so many things that we understand only on a subcontest.

Right. Like, yeah. But it's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. Oh, yeah. Well, it's good. Like, there's something about, I think, being a gram parent where you get to a certain age.

It's like the naked guys at the gym and the locker, like they're just beyond it. It's over. We've gotten past all of this, you know, they're like picking their nose. Like that college professor that just will like straight up. Done care. We've gotten past all of this, you know, they're like picking their nose. Like that college professor that just will like straight up, get the finger all the way inside and like pull out a visible booger during a lecture. And it's just like, where, at what point do I stop caring about anything?

And like, and not only do they pull it out, but it's like they examine it. Yeah, I like, well, it's like they look at it yeah, I like what it's like they look at it like they take real account Well, and I do in private yeah, but like in front of people if I accidentally Which is the only way would happen pulled something out of my nose in front of people I'm immediately like how do I get this panic? Like put it back put it back just put it back? And they pull it out and they're like, Oh, that's greener than usual.

And it's like, bro. Oh, this... Interesting, interesting variety of consistencies in this one. The viscosity is change. Write that down in my log book. I like the idea that somebody's keeping a book or diary. Somebody is. You. Somebody is. You know somebody is.

It's a big world. There's billions of people. Somebody's got a booger diary. Right, right to us. Let us know about your booger diary. I want to know. Why do I want to know? That's the real problem.

Is that I'm sitting here like, yeah, I'm actually curious about that. Please, please follow up. I'm not quite sure.. Please, please follow up. Okay. I got another question. I'm ready. It's from anonymous, another anonymous, because this is a healthcare related question, dear Ashley and Hank or Hank and Ashley, I emailed my doctor to ask a question the day after my appointment and said, I hope it's okay that I emailed you. And I asked my question and said, sorry to bother you. They responded.

They answered my question. But they did not say that it was fine for me to ask, which is a thing that anonymous asked. An honest asked, is this okay? And the doctor did not write back, yes, this is fine. They just answered the question, was it fine? I was more worried about bothering them than getting the answer I needed.

Sign off me. Oh, it was probably absolutely fine. Yeah, it's gotta be fine. I'm saying like the fact that they answered and didn't address the fineness means it's fine. They're busy. They're just busy. They got a lot to do.

Yeah. They're just busy. I also know that sometimes if somebody reaches out to me and is very like apologetic for asking the question, sometimes like the reason why I don't necessarily address the apology is because I just don't feel like there was anything to apologize for. Or I feel like it should be their assumption that they can reach out to me in that capacity and ask a question. And so I don't want to validate the idea that you've done something wrong here by reaching out. Yeah, the other thing is you have your doctor's email address for a reason.

Right. They didn't like give you an email address and say never use this. Right. It's not their personal email address. It's professional. It's for a reason. Which I don't have my doctor's email address

and I desperately would like it. I like it, you're like, wait a minute. First of all, what are the rules? Is this good? I beat this. I'm just now having a doctor, like a regular doctor. Yeah, I only got one like five years ago. Isn't it like, it's a new world to have a regular doctor. Yeah, I only got one like five years ago. Isn't it like it's a it's a new world to have a regular doctor and to be like

Oh, if something's wrong like I call my doctor like the person who is like I'm just like the walk-in clinic. Yeah. Yeah It's wild It's wild and beautiful. Yeah, and they like know you. And I see Dr. Bixby around town, like at places, and I'm like, Hey, Dr. Bixby, how's it going? Right. And she's friendly about it,

which I kind of feel like maybe I wouldn't be, like maybe I'd be like, I'm having dinner with my family right now. I don't need to talk to another person whose toes I know about. Hahaha. I don't know, hey, I feel like, if I've shown you my toes, maybe you should greet me, okay?

When I see you, like maybe there's a mutual respect thing there now. Yeah, you know me better than most of my friends, right? Like at least certain parts of me. Right. Yeah. Oh gosh. But Dr. Bixby, if you're listening, what's your email address? She's just a lovely, as person.

All right, this is a COVID question that I want your insight on it. It's from Nana, who asks, dear Ashley and Hank. Now that COVID has taken up one whole year of our lives. I can't stop thinking about how it will be portrayed in movies and books. Well, fictional characters acknowledge the year

that they spent at home, hoping nothing gets sick. Or will that be too much of a turn-off for escapist fictional readers? You can hum my name. Nana. Hmm. Hmm. I'm not really. Can you? Hmm. I don't know. Maybe that's just how she pronounces it. Or they pronounce it, like maybe it's very.

I've been thinking about this because of course I write fiction. And in my book, in my books, I was like, I can't, I can't. And it was done before the pandemic, it was mostly done before the pandemic really hit. But I think that there's been a, like some people have wanted to write pandemic fiction,

like things that are like specifically about this time. But I think if it's not, like there's a problem in fiction where if it's not like about a thing, you kind of have to like sideline that thing and have it like be unimportant and it's hard to have this be unimportant to a story. Yes, absolutely.

How did you slip into a story? Then there's the lost year. Everybody's immediately like, what happened during the lost year? Actually, I kind of like that. I kind of like that the lost year is just sort of like mentioned, but everybody, because I love stories where the only fiction I've ever written, the protagonist year is just sort of like mentioned, but everybody, because I love stories where the, so the, both, the only fiction I've ever written, the protagonist is assuming that everybody who's reading

the book knows the whole story. Oh, yeah. And I love that, that trope. And so I love the idea that the protagonist would be like, and then there was the last year, you know, and then so a year after that. And like, you know, everybody knows, like I don't have to explain COVID to you.

Everybody gets it. And that's how you would treat it if you were in a world where there was a lost year. That's true. But also in fiction, everybody wants to know pretty quickly, well, I think everybody at least wants the author to know how have you changed the real world in this story?

What are the rules of this story? So, is it a story where everybody just knows, like, because if that's in the foundation of it, if that's, you know, where you're coming from, that absolutely can work. But is it a thing where everybody's just avoiding it? I don't know, maybe that can work too. Like that's the weird thing about fiction. Right. Is that I feel like so often whenever somebody talks about what can or can't work, it's like yeah, you can't make that work. You don't know anybody can make that work. You've never heard of anybody making that work. Does that actually make it impossible? Yeah.

I'm inclined to say no. I'm interested, but I'm also a person like, you can't really, sometimes I feel like you can't go by me because my taste is so like, I don't know, can you do that? Because if you can, I'd like to see it. Absolutely. Yeah, like when someone says that something is, either shouldn't be done or can't be done,

what that really means is it's very, very hard. And you have to figure out what other rules you're going to have to bend to break that one. So if you're going to not bend any rules and you're going to do something normal, you probably can't. That's what they mean when they say that you can't. But maybe you can do something weird and think about it weird. And this entire, this is like, I love the idea of having a book where the whole trope is like, life is pretty normal,

but everybody recognizes the lost year, and then the sort of trick that the reader has to go through is figuring out what the lost year is. And that is especially interesting to me if it turns out that the people in the book themselves don't really know what the last year was. Yeah, absolutely. Like, that's great pandemic fiction right there.

I'd love to read that book. I agree because it's like that is, that would be what's most reflective of the time we're in. Right. We don't know what the pandemic means yet. Yeah. We don't know what it's gonna mean to us and like how it will change us. And the things that we think are the biggest deals, this is what I got from

from reading any number of like history books, which I haven't read many of, but this is the biggest takeaway from reading books about history. The things that we think are big deals in the moment usually aren't the big deals that we will actually take from the thing. Oh, yeah. Never. Yeah. They never are. In my opinion, I think that those things almost get like over talked about, you know, or like, or over analyzed. As soon as everybody's talking about it, then that's how you know, like, that's probably

going to get taken care of. Yeah. We're probably going to fix that thing, and it won't be the big deal. So what are we not talking about? Yeah. I agree. So it's going to be so interesting, because I feel like one of the things that's going to be happening over the next several years is that there are going to be perspectives of the

pandemic that most of us have not considered. Yeah. Or that we have not seen discussed or analyzed in any sort of meaningful way in the public space. And as those things come up, people are going to act like, you know, it's an impossibility. You know, and it's like, it's not an impossibility just because you didn't personally see it happen to you. Yeah. Here's a question that's sort of a me question, but I'm very excited to share this information. This is Hannah asks, dear Hank and Ashley, I recently watched a TikTok in which a pregnant woman

showed an ultrasound of her baby supposedly yawning in the womb. Considering the baby is surrounded by amniotic fluid, I guess I just don't know how this works. They can't inhale water, can they? Babies hiccup in the womb too, and I've always thought that that was strange. Can you guys explain how these things are possible? Wound wonders Hannah. I love that baby. Did you know that baby's hiccup?

I did know that they hiccup. I did not know that they... Because you're like, you're like, oh my God, my baby has the hiccups, and it's inside of me. It's very weird. That is... I mean, I don't know.

It hasn't actually happened to me, but like just knowing that that happens to people is very weird. Oh yeah. A lot of my friends are mothers and watching their experience with pregnancy, their experiences is always, every single one is shocking to me.

Gotta tell you, every time they tell me something else that I'm like, they did what? Yeah, man. Who did, huh? Oh, yeah. Interesting, I'm gonna put that in the archive. Right, well, and I mean the entire, it's a lot. It is very, it is the thing that is the most natural

in that like, it is impossible to be here without growing inside of a person. Yeah. And so that's amazing. Yes. And it's how all life happens in one way or another. But, at the same time, there's nothing that is this natural and this unbelievably weird. So weird.

It's just like, you can accidentally make a human being. Yeah. That's not, that doesn't seem right. And then you hear about like people who have babies who like didn't even know they were pregnant. Yeah. And then like they have a baby. And I'm like, so you telling me your body was making bones?

So you just weren't aware? You just were like, yeah, like your body could be making bones and stuff. It could be making somebody's whole circulatory system and you are chilling. Yeah. All right. So I made a tick talk about this and someone replied,

you can't accidentally make a pizza. Dang! Okay. Now I'm really messed up because you ran it. You can't accidentally make a pizza. You can accidentally make a human person. Yeah, you can accidentally make like a football player. Like a really skilled professional.

And there's just this person here. Okay, wait, okay, hey, but how, because now I gotta know how is the baby yawn in? So yeah, it turns out babies do yawn, probably. There was a lot of debate about this at first. People, there was some contention, but our ultrasounds have gotten detailed enough that we can watch as babies yawn.

It's now becoming difficult for me not to yawn because I've said the word yawn so much. So shout out to everybody out there who's yawning right now. So they have figured out that baby's yawned and babies do have amniotic fluid in their lungs. So they're just like full on submersed in this stuff. But that's not really what's happening. They're just sort of like making the face of yawning.

They're stretching their jaws. And with it, but babies don't breathe in and out, amniotic fluid, it's more like they swallow it into their lungs and it just sort of like hangs out there. But otherwise, like all the alveoli I would be sticking together, so they have to develop with something in there so that the cells can develop correctly.

I think Ashley's faced by the way. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh my God. But then the babies are just more or less making a yawning fate because we don't understand yons, we don't understand really what they do after all this time. We have lots of theories, but we don't really get it. And so it's just a reflex action and just like any reflex action, it's something that

can be done throughout our, like I't know when the first yawn is, but apparently the first yawn tends to be in the womb. Which makes sense to me because he was yawning immediately once he was born. Like it was one of the first things I was like, oh my God, that's the thing a human does. What is amniotic fluid? What is it composed of?

I guess I just always thought it was like, I'll be honest, in my mind, I'm like, oh, is it just like saline? Like it's just like, oh my God. Let me look at, like up the composition, because like I've always imagined it as basically like the stuff in an IV drip plus other things. Right.

Mainly water and electrolytes, but also contains proteins, carbohydrates, lipids, phospholipids, and urea, because the baby, peace in there. The baby can also poop in there, which is bad. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's not great, because it means that they have like their stuff in their lungs,

makes it harder to breathe. So just all that stuff. So yeah, before you were born, you breathed in pee. That checks out. I don't know why. That just feels... I mean, it's all very, it's all very human and dirty. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't know why. I just, I'm fascinated by like, I've always been fascinated by what happens during pregnancy. Like always. And I feel like I've read so much about it. I talk to my friends about their pregnancies

all the time. My best friend was pregnant when we were very young. And I remember her daughter who is now, oh my God, Aubrey just turned 16. I remember me putting my hand on her belly and her daughter dragging her foot across the bottom of my hand. And that was when I realized I didn't know what the hell was going on in there. Like I think that was the moment when I was like I should read a book about what's happening here

because I don't have to know. And now, now I'm just like I feel like I feel like pregnancy is the weirdest thing in the world because I feel like nobody knows what happens. I feel like they know things that happen But I feel like when you really start pressing people with questions about pregnancy Eventually it just becomes like we don't know. Oh, yeah, it is yeah I mean it is a it remains a really big mystery of science. Like the development of a fetus remains very, you know, there are things we know now that we didn't know 10 years ago and there are things we know now that we didn't know a year ago,

but like the things that we don't know still by far outweigh the things that we do, we don't know how a fetus, how like a bunch of cells come together to cooperate. Right. At all, really. Like even in my body right now, the fact that like I have them just cells and they're all like, you know what, we should work together to take care of this entity that isn't even

us. Yes. You know, like they're working their butts off to take care of me. And we don't think about them at all. And they're not me. Right. Why do they care about me? But they do.

They've evolved to care about me. And anytime any one of them decides, I'm gonna try and actually take care of myself. My body murders it. That's true. Wow. And like, or it kills itself. It's like actually, I've been thinking about myself

too much I need to die. And they just like pop themselves. Is the body a cult? The body is the biggest cult. Any string from the, like what you have been, like the task you have been assigned to is immediate death for a cell in the body.

Wow. And if it's not, then it's extremely bad news for the body because that's what cancer is. This is like a nightmare version of the movie ants. Yeah, you, hello listener. You are a nightmare version of the movie ants. I mean, it's just like you're rooting for like the,

like yeah, be an individual step out of line. But like inside you in one of your sales stepped out of line. But like inside you, in one of your sales, step down a line. Yeah. And it's like, I should grow on my own. I should make a bunch of copies of me. That's what evolution drives us to do. Murder, immediate murder. Murder, immediate murder.

Oh my gosh. Every time I, this is one of the problems that I have with talking about things like the body and space. Is that eventually my brain just is like, yeah, yeah, you should shut this down. Like, you like stop thinking about this too hard. You're going to find out the secrets. And I'm like, but I want to know the secrets.

And I'm, I guess if I find out the secret, oh my gosh, this is, okay, let's come back to something else because now I've gone off too far, hang up, gone away. I've gone away. I literally started looking at a painting above my desk like, what do you mean? And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm doing something. I'm doing something. Yeah. Which reminds me, Ashley, that this podcast is brought to you by just the terrifyingness of the babies inside of you, I guess. Not to mention, amniotic fluid. The white claw of birthing canals. No! I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And this podcast is brought to you by Booger Diaries. It's where you write down on your boogers. And also, it's brought to you by the planet water. That was my sponsors. My sponsor is a vape Uranus.

We're all vaping Earth right now. But what if you could vape Uranus? God, well, that's literally the best sponsor we've ever had. Ashley, thank you so much for making a podcast with me today. It was such a pleasure. I heard that you have just finished a book. Can you tell me a little bit about it? Yes, I have a book coming out June 1st called Somebody's

Daughter. It's from Flatiron Books. And it's an Oprah book on her imprint. It's an Oprah book. And yeah, it's a memoir. It's about growing up as a little girl in Indiana, hard times, good times, and getting to know myself, getting to know the world.

And yeah, that's pretty much it. That's like my elevator pitch for now. This is the first time I've had to give it though, so I'll work on it and make it better. Okay, and it's coming out in June. June first, yes. June first. Congratulations, I'm so excited.

Thank you, Hank. Can I get a pre-release? Yes. When do you start sending those out? It's already on the way to you, Hank. It's... Oh, you did. You asked me for my address. I did. I did. It's already on the way. So you'll be able to read it soon. I will tell you that by the time you've read it, other members of your family may have already read it. other members of your family may have already read it. That's, I think, we don't, I don't, we don't tend to compete on who gets to read the, the galley's first in my family. Hank, I don't know your life, I don't know your dynamic. I'm just letting you know just in case.

Okay. Oh, thank you so much, Ashley. This was a ton of fun. Sorry, there's no news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. I checked the League One table. AFC Wimbledon. I checked the League One table. AFC Wimbledon is no longer in last place. They are now in second to last place. So that's something I guess.

This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Mettish. It's produced by Rosie on Halsey Rohassen, Sheridan Gibson. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom. Our editorial assistant is Debuki Chukrovardi. The music you're hearing now, and at the beginning of the podcast, it's by the great Gunnarola.

And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. you you