Dear Hank & John - 287: The AFC Wimbledon & Mars Spectacular

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

What happened on Mars this week? What's AFC Wimbledon up to? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to a special very brief edition of Dear Hank and John. It's the AFC Wibble that in Mars Spectacular. So we had like a series of very long business meetings this week, so we couldn't record a proper episode of the podcast. It's not really Dear Hank and John. It's sort of Hank and John. Because we're not answering any questions. This is an edition of Hank and John.

Yes. We're not answering any questions this This is an edition of Hank and John. We're not answering any questions this week because we had this series of long business meetings that made it impossible to make a podcast. You felt wrong on a week when there was a lot of news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon to just not have a podcast. Arguably the most significant weeks of Mars and AFC Wimbledon news in years. Over the last month or so. Since perseverance,

we'll hand it on Mars Hank. AFC Wimbledon have won four straight football games for the first time in five years. The last time we won four straight football games, we were a fourth tier English soccer team. Wow. Now we're in the third tier, and my God, we might stay because,

despite spending almost the entire season in the relegation zone for the, I don't know, seven millionth consecutive year, AFC Wimbledon has turned it on in the last weeks of the season and has somehow found a way to get out of the relegation zone. There is still work to do, but I want to talk, I want to break it down for you a little bit, Hank. And then we will turn our attention to the astonishing news that there is a helicopter flying on, maybe not right now, but there has been recently and there

will be again soon. It may be, who knows, it might be right now as you're listening. But before we get to that, I want to say, so I've looked at this, lead one table. There are three teams that have won four of their last five games. I know. One is number one ranked whole city. One is number 19 ranked AFC limited. And the other is number 20th Wig and Athletic.

I know. Like get off our butt. Yeah, I know. I know, take it down a notch Wig and this isn I know. Like get off our butt. Yeah, I know. I know. Take it down a notch, Wiggan. This isn't the time to get hot. Okay. That's our thing.

That's our, that's what we do. That's what we do. And they're, they're literally right. They're, they're, they're, they're, man. It's very close. And they're, they're one point behind. I know. But is, is, is the bottom four?

Yeah, it's the bottom four. So actually, I don't, I don't care a lick if we finish in 19th or 20th, as long as we finish in 19th or 20th. So. And there's a pretty big gap between Wigan and North Hampton. Wigan and AFC Wimbledon can be the two teams

that stay up, that's fine. But basically, there is a... Why not? Wigan is an amazing name. I know how to pronounce it. It sounds cool. Yeah, they used to be in the Premier League and they actually won the FA Cup like 10 years ago.

But anyway, this isn't about Wiggen. If you, wow, that's very weird. If you wanted to follow up a word, like the word Wiggen with something, I wouldn't have assumed athletic. Yeah, it definitely doesn't lend itself to a football team name, but Hank, let's turn our attention to AFC Wimbledon for a second. Yes. Our coach, Mark Robinson joined AFC Wimbledon as a volunteer

coaching the kids in 2004, and he has risen through the ranks, and he has recently taken charge of AFC Wimbledon. And since he took charge, everything is different, including my intense overwhelming love for this football club. In the last four games, we have scored 14 goals, 19, a U of a saw who earlier this season was playing in the sixth division of English football, who everyone was saying was was never going to be good enough to make it. He didn't just he hasn't just made it. He is unplayable. He is five feet eight inches tall when he stands on his tiptoes. He weighs 112 pounds and he is an unstoppable force of nature.

He's so fast. They nobody knows what to do with him. He's incredible. I love him. Joe Piggitt are talismanic forward. It has been just doing Joe Piggitt things, scoring goals like crazy. Ollie Palmer, who you'll remember Hank early in the season, I was like, Wimbledon at

last have what we need a very tall person. Ollie Palmer has finally been playing and he's playing great because he's finally, finally not injured. And we are scoring goals for fun. Even our our our former captain who's played for aFC Wimbledon since he was nine years old. Our central defender will night and gale has been back in the team. Will night and gale scored one goal. Hank one goal in his first 110 appearances for aFC Wimbledon. He has scored two goals in the last three games and would have scored a third except for an Oxford United player reached out on the goal line and grabbed the

ball to stop it from going in. Got a red card and we scored the ensuing penalty and then went on to win the game. Is that is that a thing like like what what's the sort of etiquette around that? Cause I've certainly been in a situation in the like eight soccer games I've played in, where I could have done that. Where I was like, I just can't get to that ball with my foot, but I could grab it with my hand. I think the only time you should do it

is when it's like in the last minute, you know? This was still with like 30 minutes left in the game or so, which is just way too early, but he did it and then the moment the referee blew the whistle which is just way too early. But he did it. And then the moment the referee blew the whistle, he just like looked down at the ground and started to walk off the field. Like he, he didn't wait for the red card. He knew what he had done. Everyone knows what happened here. But we came back in that game from, to prevent a goal from occurring. Yeah. That I knew was illegal. Yeah. And, uh, and I, I have suffered the consequences.

So we came back in that game from one nil down to win two one. And we really needed to win that game because all the other teams at the bottom are also winning a lot. But now we are five points clear, the relegation zone with four games to play. It's all in our hands. We probably need to win one of those games out of those four. And one of them is Roachdale, who is yeah, or Rockdale or Roachdale. No one knows for sure. Nobody knows who has won three games in the last five. I know. But it is also one of the worst teams in the league. Yes. So hopefully we can get a result against them, maybe pick up a point somewhere else and find a way to stay up.

It is, it is all still in the balance, but it seems doable. I mean, I think the crazy thing is this all happened in like a 10 day period, like two weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon in England. We went one-nil down against Ackrington Stanley. That was the moment when I thought to myself, well, it's over. We had this three heroic years of overperforming and it's just not going to happen for us this year. And then we won that game five-one. Like, what happened? I think the answer has to be that Mark Robinson happened. Mark Robinson, I mean, I would run through Wells for the guy after this critical, critical

win against Oxford United. Mark Robinson, one of the most legible things about him is that his Twitter username is something like Mark Robinson, 98731642. It has like 17 numbers after his name because I don't think he knows how to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it.

I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it.

I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. I think I'm going to find it. The most important result of today was that our under 15 side beat arsenals under 15 side. Those kids know that it's about more than football.

Wow. I just always good enough at Twitter. Oh, I mean, yeah. Yes. Exactly. Also, he doesn't like respond to people who bait him in comments, which makes him better than me. Oh, God, I don't know. Are you not doing

better at that? I noticed that you did get a little bit, a little bit on Twitter. I lost, I lost my temper when Liverpool football club without consulting the fans or indeed the players or indeed the manager of the team. Wow. Agre agreed to join the European super league, a now-defunct idea, that from which you could not be relegated. That was essentially the whole stick of it was that these billionaires were like, oh, you know, it would preserve our billion dollar investments is if we couldn't be relegated. So let's invent a soccer competition that that you can't lose. But you can win though. Exactly. It's yeah, like well, like us. We stage capitalism at its finest.

Oh, it's just been a wonderful, wonderful week in terms of ASE Wimbledon results. And Long may hit continue. Hank, what's the news for Mars? I'm a god, they're so much. I know. Well, first of all, NASA's Perseverance Rover, Percy, as we call it, pooped out a helicopter and then drove away, and then that helicopter first tried to spin its little blades

and then something went wrong, and then it was a software problem. I was, I have to say, I became very pessimistic after that initial problem. Well, because because we've had a couple of things on Mars where it's been like, who didn't go exactly as planned, probably will be fine. And then every update ever since then was like actually it's worse than we thought. Yeah, yeah exactly. That's been very much the case with the the insight lander, which also does have have news and it is bad news. But ingenuity is great news because they did a software update. They figured out what the problem was. I don't know what

it was. Some complicated software thing. And it took off. It flew up into the air five meters. It's a four pound device. And it has a surprisingly wide wing span, but the wings are made of this like super like carbon material and they don't push through a lot of air, so it's pretty easy to push them really fast, but they have to be big and they have to go really fast because there isn't a lot of air. Right. And it flew up, um, and then landed safely, and then it did a second test where it flew up and then sort of like wiggled side to side to make sure that that worked. And we've gotten pictures of it flying. We have not gotten any pictures from it

which, or maybe we have by the time this comes out, but that's part of what we're hoping to get out of this is like some cool, interesting video of Mars. Now, ingenuity has a lifespan. It's not designed to last forever. But I will say sometimes NASA puts lifespans on things that turn out to not be the case. Yeah, I mean, that first rover had a lifespan of like 18 months

and it lived for like 30 years. No, it had a, like the mission was supposed to be like weeks. Yeah. And it lasted years. Yeah, it had a light like the mission was supposed to be like weeks. Yeah. And it lasted years. Yeah, it was great. So, you know, and part of that is the solar panel situation on Mars, which is that engineers expected that dust would build up in the solar panels and you have a solar panel craft.

Right. Right. It's just over for it. And what turned out to happen is that occasionally there are these cleaning events where like a particular kind of breeze blows by and instead of depositing dust, it removes it. And that is allowed solar paneled experience experiments, including ingenuity solar solar power to last longer than expected. But insight has not had this experience. And its solar panels are currently so covered in dust that it is going to sleep

in the hopes and they will monitor the weather in that area in the hopes that it will be able to turn back on, but it is not clear at all whether that will be a thing that will happen. So that's the bad news from Mars, but the good news is that ingenuity is currently doing its thing. If you search for ingenuity to learn more about its mission, you can click on, there's a little helicopter version of it that sort of spins over in the side on Google. You click on it and it will do a little dance for you. It comes and flies out. It's very cool. That's very cool. I also have to say I was amazed by the video footage of

ingenuity flying on Mars. I was very impressed that, I mean, my main thought was, you know, in 2008, like, we didn't even have those cameras to make YouTube videos with, let alone to make Mars a helicopter videos with. Yeah. It looked good. It looks very good. It's exciting. And it, it, it, well, I guess we have gotten some photos from it because it does take a, it's, it just takes a downward picture to make sure that it's like in the right spot. The other news from Mars, and so this is like all adding up is that there's an experiment on Mars,

I can't even remember what the name of it is. Maybe I'll talk about it more next week, but that exists to try and manufacture oxygen from the Martian atmosphere, and it was successful. Oh good. So basically squeezes carbon dioxide, and then like, so increases the pressure of it, and then puts it in the presence of this hot catalyst, and that breaks it down into oxygen O2, breathable oxygen, burnable oxygen, and carbon monoxide, which is then just

let go away because we don't want that. And it's working. We have manufactured oxygen on the surface of Mars, which is like extremely necessary if we want to get people to Mars because we can't bring all of our fuel or air with us. We will have to manufacture some of it on Mars because it's just too heavy to carry all that around. So that is amazing news. Now there's other ways to make oxygen on Mars. The big one being electrolysis of water, but mining water is still a big question.

We're not sure how we're going to do that. Whereas carbon dioxide, it's very easy to get that. It's everywhere. You know, it's not the concentration. It is not like the amount of like atmospheric pressure we have on earth, but I think there's actually more CO2 and Mars's atmosphere than there is in ours. It's just that there isn't very much in ours. The more in my way.

I don't know at one point we will approach. Give us some time, man. Give us some time. There's also bad news. It's just the rest, but I have to admit it in Mars are doing great. Yeah. I mean, it's just been a wonderful, wonderful, I can't. These opportunities, these opportunities do not come along very often. You know, like it really is a sort of once every five year event, although maybe,

maybe under the leadership of Mark Robinson, this is just going to become normal and regular because the thing is Hank, it's mostly the same players and the extent to which it's not the same players. It's like younger players from the youth team who can promote it. One of the things that I'm the proudest of is that when I look at AFC Wimbledon's squad today, I see a lot of players who joined the team when they were like nine or 10 years old and played on the youth teams and Are now playing professional football and that's very rare against it's it's very rare that that your team is comprised of You know youth players who graduated from the academy. So I'm really proud of that. Proud. And I have to say,

after a UBISOL scored one of his cajillion goals of the last 10 days, he did this wonderful jump up in the air where he like raised his fist in one of his celebrations. I, this kid is amazing. He's 19 years old and he's just, I, I, I can't believe him. He has such a joy to watch on the football field. Anyway, he jumped up, he like raised his fist and the way that it was photographed Hank, you could really see that DFTBA logo on the back of the shorts in the women's space between, between left thigh and buttuck. And it looked, it just looked really, really good. I was like, that is a, that is an excellent high quality marketing impression of the letters DFTBA. Oh gosh, wow. He looks young. He's, I know. I know. And he's all of the players are so

great in interviews. They are an absolute joy to watch. It is clear that they are as relieved or maybe more relieved as anyone else. Like they are enjoying this so much. And it's just a special special time. I am so grateful to Mark Robinson. I am so excited for the future. I'm really, really hopeful that we can see 9,000 people inside of Plow Lane when the when the new season starts and hopefully that'll be in the third tier of English football long way to go. Locket still happen, but hope springs eternal as it does on Mars. As it does on Mars, the only the only player in the in the in the game here of Hank and of dear hang and John, that is younger than Ayuba Saul is Mars' ingenuity helicopter. That's true.

It's just a wee lad. Yeah, it's true. Four pounds. A small bottom, no, big bottom small as you might say. Yeah, indeed. John, thank you for making a brief podcast with me to update everyone. So are there no questions?

Now, we'll be back next week with a proper episode, but in the meantime, go watch Angie Wimbledon and Mars Highlights. They're full of joy. Full of joy. And get a vaccine, if you can. Yes. All right.

The Hanks Hank for squeezing that in. But do. Do get it. Go ahead. Make today the day that you can. Yes. All right. The Hanksank for squeezing that in. But do. Do get, go ahead, make today the day that you get your appointment. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.