Dear Hank & John - 299: A Very Dark Place Inside My Bones

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

How deep is sand? What do I do for homeroom? How do I figure out when a wedding is being held? Do you have bones? How do bees work? Why is white noise called white noise? Does sunlight hit my bones? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and Jon. Doors I prefer to think of it dear Jon and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you the abuse advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Jon. Yeah. I had to take my lizard back to the store because it was always, it would never like use all four of its legs, which was weird, and also it never stopped telling bad jokes.

And I took it back and the guy said, ah, that's not a lizard. That's a standup chameleon. It's not great, that's. I know, I had to bring one that I had to bring, I had to bring some, some like weak game so that people appreciate it when I bring the strong game. Sure.

It's not really a dad joke unless you go, ah, right. So I feel like they've been, they've been too good lately. So we've been away for a few weeks, Hank. We've been on vacation. I'm sort of, we've been on vacation from this part of our job at any rate. And I've missed it a great deal. I haven't missed the dad jokes, but I've missed talking to you. I've missed miss miss being able to catch up. Miss the questions from

our listeners. Most of all, miss the news from from Mars. Don't get a lot of Mars news when you're not around. Yeah. But I also, I miss the chance to discuss hot take issues. And it made me think, is there a place either here or maybe in this weekend stuff, our Patreon only podcast at patreon.com slash deerhankajon, is there a place for us to discuss hot topics, sizzling hot topics from the social internet that are at least three weeks old that everyone is forgotten about. Okay, we, John, I don't even know how to find those. Okay, so I have an idea, which is that when they are sizzling piping hot, we write them down and then we weigh three weeks.

So I don't think that's how it works. I don't think that's how it works. I think that they just vanish. So I have, I have one how it works. I don't think that's how it works. I think that they just vanish. So I have worn. Okay. Okay. All right. I've got one.

It's three weeks old. It was so warm when it first happened. And now it is, it's ice cold. Nobody's talking about it. It's the perfect time to bring it back. So a few weeks ago, people got really angry. And I think with good reason that this documentary nonfiction film used Anthony Bourdain's voice to say things that Anthony Bourdain never actually said using one of these AI voice recognizers that turns your

voice into a voice that can say anything. Anthony Bourdain is a celebrity chef and TV host who has died. And so this was done without his knowledge or permission because it was done after his death. What is wild? I missed that one. I was not around that day. What is your take, Hank, on how you would feel if somebody took your voice after your death and made you immortal, or at least your voice immortal by like turning it into one of the voices of Ask Google or whatever? Well, I mean, so first of all, I'd be happy to have that happen.

If you just like, if I just had to like talk into a box of bunch and, well, frankly, I'd be happy to have that happen if like I if you just like if I just had to like talk into a box a bunch and well frankly, I've talked into a box a bunch already. But man, we don't have to talk into a box a bunch because they have plenty of our voice, right? Like, yeah, we are some of the people for whom this would not be challenging because they could just feed in deer, hank and john. Yeah, I think so. Vlog by those videos and get everything we've ever said. Yeah, so the question is how am I slash my estate slash the causes that I most want to support?

How do they benefit from that? Because this is something that I created. I made this voice. This is mine. And so I, like, so something, like someone along the process should have benefited from this. So before I died, I should get paid or somebody should be, somebody should be getting paid. And I think this actually just happened with TikTok.

They had to change the voice of like the auto-generated TikTok captions because the person who spoke those words hadn't given permission TikTok to use their voice or something like that. I don't actually know the entire story, so don't quote me on any of that. But I know that they had to switch it,

and I think it was because of a voice rights thing. But it's a very weird thing to, but this does raise the question. If it's done by a machine, it feels a little bit wrong. But if somebody gets up there and just makes a video playing Grand Theft Auto in doing an impression of Morgan Freeman, that's not weird.

That's just a person doing an impression of Morgan Freeman while playing Grand Theft Auto. Because it's not their actual, it's not Morgan Freeman's actual voice. It's somebody imitating Morgan Freeman. But is it distinguishable from that? That is fundamentally different to me than somebody taking my actual voice. Words

I actually said, reordering them. Yeah. And then making it seem like I said that thing that I didn't ever say. So, so what I'm okay with is having people take my voice. And then with everyone's knowledge, turn it into a thing that is saying different things. But what I'm not okay with is you take my voice and you make me say something and people don't know that that happened. And so now I'm narrating a documentary film, saying a bunch of words that people think I said.

But I didn't say. That is a very important distinction. I brought all of this up, Hank, because I know that you're wrapping up your will and I am. I am very excited. Please hurry. You don't know. It's later than you think to quote the Roman sundials. And I think that you should just put in a little dependent cause somewhere that just says that. Just like if you use my voice to say things I never said, you have to say that you're using my voice to say things I never said. Do you think that Morgan Freeman will keep narrating documentaries after his dad?

Oh, yes. Are you kidding? I think like Morgan Freeman's estate is hard at work securing the permanent future as is David Attenborough's, securing the permanent future of the voice so that we can You know have David Attenborough 300 years from now Another person who gets to narrate no a documentary film about nature again, right? Right David Attenborough Did it he lived long enough? Yeah? The longstanding question like who will be the next David Attenborough has been answered.

It will be David Attenborough in perpetuity. Oh my God. Well, because like nobody can do what he does, because no one speaks that way anymore. Oh no, there's such a grovy toss to his voice. It's incredible. Same with Morgan Freeman, right? So like, are these iconic voices just going to be sort of the semi permanent iconic voices? Weird to think about, but it's possible. Oh my god. Well, it's a it's a okay

And and as and as quasi-distopiness that seems there must have come a time right when somebody was like, hey I wonder who the next Homer is gonna be and Then somebody else was like, oh, no, I guess it's going to be the last home or forever because we just wrote it down. You're talking about home or the poet. No, you thought I was talking about Homer Simpson. And me and everyone else who is listening. I do wonder.

I mean, yeah, well, like, because maybe Homer Simpson is also covered for the next 500 years. That's always been the thing. And you know, you, you, you, Kermit has been several different people, but like, maybe someday Kermit won't have to be people anymore. I don't know, man, maybe, maybe not. Maybe probably, God, because like you, you can have a human involved.

It's not like you have to just say, like, write the words down and have them say, like, you can have a human deciding the intonation of the sentence. Yeah. It's just not going to be the person speaking. It's going to be the person sitting them say it. Like, you can have a human deciding the intonation of the sentence. It's just not gonna be the person speaking. It's gonna be the person sitting in front of the computer looking at the waveforms. Yeah.

Anyway, thanks for coming to freezing hot takes with Hank and John. I've got a different one for this week and stuff after the pod. That's, I mean, freezing hot takes, John. That's great. Thank you. You, did you think of that before you thought of the idea

because it's such a good title? No, I thought of it as I was thinking of the idea. I should go on vacation more often. I came home with like seven ideas. Ha ha ha ha. Oh man, I haven't got a vacation in so long. Oh my God, what's that even like? It's great.

You get so many ideas. Oh geez, yeah, I've been even like? It's great. You get so many ideas. Oh, geez. Yeah, I've been to weddings or to visit family. And that is all I've been to for, I don't know, it feels like years. Oh, Jesus. Let's pull ourselves out of that spiral and answer some questions from our listeners.

Okay, this first one comes from Rebecca who asks, dear Hank and John, how deep is sand? And while we're at it, what is below sand? Not Becca again, Rebecca. John, do you know how deep it the sand is? I feel like this is one of those trick questions where like it goes all the way to the middle or alternately it's like three inches deep.

Which one is it? Well, well, I mean, it doesn't go all the way to the middle, but it can be like three inches deep and it can be a variety of depths. And what is under the sand? Sometimes it's just sand that got so hard that it's rock now, but it's other times it's rock. So like it, it, it, wildly varies, basically.

Good to know. The other thing to know about sand is that if the sea level goes up, five feet or so, there will be like 95% less of it on the beaches. Because sandy beaches take a tremendous amount of time to form and they require a very stable sea level. And why would the sea level go up? Oh, you know, maybe the water just gets bigger. Just the molecules if the water decides to have a third hydrogen. Yeah, there's a whole amount of it on a third hydro. There it is, like, I'm going to have a third hydrogen. Yeah, there's a whole matter on a third hydro.

There it is like, I'm going to be a different now. And it just wells up like a sponge. And then I don't know. That's what I've heard. That's what people are saying, you know, I've heard that on Facebook and a bunch of other places that water micrathered hydrogen molecule that would lead to the oceans rising Yeah, people are saying that all over the place like that this next question comes from Lucy who asks dear John and Hank

I'm starting at a new high school in September which is exciting. Is it? Is it or is it just terrifying? Are you just trying to be positive? I love though. I love that. Let Lucy believe it's gonna be exciting I love that. Okay. It's exciting, but I also makes me very nervous. Through much experience being anxious, I found it helps me to break things down into smaller steps and take them bit by bit. Oh, Lucy, you are a person after my own heart. That is also my number one strategy.

Break it down into small steps and take them bit by bit. So here's my question. What is your best advice for morning home room on the first day of school? How do I find in where do I sit? Do I talk to someone or just pretend to read what if they make a school around and introduce ourselves to the class? Do you advice much appreciated in the sky, Lucy? John, do you want me to tell you how I handled this situation?

I bet you crushed it. Here's what I did. I thought about it a great deal. I rehearsed every potential avenue of questioning, every potential outcome. I did bring tick-tax, and then I practiced what it would look like to open up the tick-tax and throw one in and then close it back up, because that seemed like it was a cool thing to do. Very cool. I did try to make my hair look as much like Wesley Crusher's as possible. And then upon arrival was extremely and permanently silent. But I did find the room. So that's good. How do you find a room in a school? I don't know,

Lucy. I have dreams about not finding rooms in schools. And I'm 41 years old. I do, too. I do, too. You're going to find the room. It's going to be okay. That's the most important thing is to remind yourself that this is going to be okay. You are not the first person to have gone to a new high school. This is an experience that billions of people have had. Many of them less qualified to do it than you are. It is going to be okay. And there will be systems in place to support you're locating the home room class. That said, even though I agree, Hank, that like all of our plans fall apart the moment home room, that home room bell actually rings, I still think it's helpful to make the plans

because it's a way of kind of calming yourself, reminding yourself that you're going to be okay. The biggest thing I would say that you're going to be okay. The biggest thing I would say that you're not making space for here, Lucy, because I think thinking, should I talk to someone, should I read a book? I think you should bring a book just to be safe, right? That's all helpful thoughts. But the biggest thing to remember is that everyone else in the home room class is having the same experience.

They are also scared. They are also freaked out by the first day. They have also spent the summer worrying about this moment. They are also thinking about how to cleverly and coolly flick a tick-tack into their open mouth. Like, because they are the main character of their story. And like they probably aren't thinking about you one way or another because they are the main character of their story. And they probably aren't thinking about you one way or another because they are so overwhelmed by having to think about themselves.

Yeah, I mean, the picking of the book is a challenge, but here's what I'd say about the picking of the book. Big challenge. Anybody in a home room who's reading a book has thought a lot about what book they've picked. Right. And they're probably also pretending to be halfway through instead of just starting it. Yes. So they're not even really reading it. They didn't want to look like they're on the first page. So they've they've just skipped to the middle. So it looks like, oh, I'm halfway through books

all the time. I would, but definitely bring a book that you've already finished just in case someone asks you a question about it. Yes. And I would, because I think that to some extent having a book in a home room is saying, please ask me about my book. Oh, because maybe this is a conversation starter. That's 99% of what it's about, right? Yeah. It's like when you open up a book at a coffee shop, you're like, please, please let this be the moment of the meat cute of my life. Yeah, I, I, I was at the, the splash park in Mizzoula, Montana with Orin.

And somebody was reading a book called Vacationology. I think it was called. And I was like, I was like, this is a person who does not want to be at the Splashpark at Mizzou, Montana, or maybe this is how they're vacationing. Right. Yeah, just the idea. I very nearly was like, so where do you want to go? But I didn't, I didn't do it.

Hank, I think this is a very fruitful line of inquiry. What if you had to go to a 10th grade home room tomorrow at a new school, which by the way, is in the bottom one percent of places I would like to go tomorrow. But if you did, what book would you bring? Because it's got to be a book that communicates a lot of things about you simultaneously, even though of course nobody is going to notice. And so it won't really matter. But like, you notice, so what book do you bring? Well, I think the person comes up to me and they're like, so what are you reading? And I'm like, oh, this, I wrote this.

It's, oh, this is an absolutely remarkable thing. It really says a lot about me. If you want to know about me, this is really where I want to start. No, and I guess that's probably also the moment when your classmate says to you, I don't want to be rude or anything, but aren't you a 41-year-old adult? And also, haven't you read that before? Like, yeah, exactly. Aren't there other more important books?

Are you going to book to class? Oh, man, I don't know. I don't squeeze out 80 cents through a paperback purchase. Would you, first, would you do fiction or non-fiction? It's a great question. I probably, I mean, certainly in high school, I would have 100% done fiction. Now, I think that I would probably, yeah, still do fiction.

Okay, what about you? I don't know, I think that I think that now and in high school, regardless, I'm trying to project that I am a nerd interested in science. And so either I'm reading some hard science fiction, like maybe something from the expand series or Kim Stanley Robinson. I mean, I would have Kim Stanley Robinson.

If I thought that was gonna like attract anyone, but I feel like it's just, it may be a little bit too obscure. Or some cool science, like the cheating cell by Athena actipus, I think, which is like a nonfiction book about how cancer works or something where it's just like, look at how smart I am. Right, right. I might actually bring a nonfiction book, but it would be this book in Ireland to one self by Tom Neal, a guy who lived alone on an island for like 30 years. Just as a way of trying to communicate to

my classmates, like, I don't need you guys. I'm good. I've got this book. I'm just on a desert island surrounded by 3,400 of my peers who terrify me. They say no man is an island, but I am. But I am. But not this man. That's right. Oh, I see that you're looking over at me in my book. Excuse me while I execute this extremely complex and sexy tic-tac maneuver.

I don't think I remember thinking about the tic-tac maneuver. And then like I did it one time at school, and I was like, that was a wrong call. That was super embarrassing. I'm so embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, we all have those ideas, and then when we actually do them in social settings,

I'm always like, oh no, oh God, oh, it was so transparent. Well, John, I have to say that even now, I still have no go-to move to look cool. Except, I guess, a blazer. I don't know. I've gotten over a t-shirt. Is that going to do it? No. Ah, no. But I've seen you try. All right, this is nice question. You've come from Carolina asks, dear Hank and John, I have misplaced the wedding invite I received from my friend's wedding, which is tomorrow. I don't know anyone else going to this wedding. How do I ask her what time the wedding starts?

I hope they don't play sweet Caroline. Oh, boy, I bet you don't. This is a tough one. I think I have a solution. Here's the thing, Caroline, I'm going to be honest with you and say that you cannot text your friend to ask what time the wedding starts. Yeah, you just can't. Your friend is in intense moment and you don't want to add to that. So I think I have a solution, Hank, and work with me on this one.

I think you show up at the venue at 10 AM, because nobody gets married before 10 AM, right? And kind of like if your friend did get married before 10 AM, that's sort of on them, you know? Like, like they sort of didn't deserve for you to be at the ceremony. Is it, is there not a website somewhere? Oh my God, this is, and then you just waited out. You know, you just, bring a bunch of tick-tax. Just have a picnic. Just, no, I feel like that's kind of a nice thing you can do for yourself.

Like, bring a book, sit outside, or sit in your car, and just like have a day of you time. And then when you start to see other people show up, be like, oh, I guess it was at one o'clock. Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, well, here like, oh, I guess it was at one o'clock. Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, well, here's one thing that I do need to say to the world because I didn't appreciate it and it did not know this and it got me in trouble.

Wedding start, when they say they start. Yeah. I don't know why I have the impression that it would be like a movie where like, yeah, okay, it says it starts at this time. But they're gonna be like, you know, you gotta allow for people to like mill around and get a drink and have a chat. No, that all happens before that when the wedding starts. Or a date? Yeah. The time on the thing. The time on the thing is when the wedding starts and you have to be there then or you will miss one of your best friends weddings. Which I did.

Yeah, not only that, but because weddings, a lot of times only last like eight minutes. If you're eight minutes late, like you may miss the wedding. Yeah, no, I missed it. I have straight missed it. Now my wedding lasted for at least six days. Oh my gosh.

There was no risk of anybody, nobody, no risk of anybody missing it. Oh my gosh. When that, when that service ended, I, I felt like I, I really did feel like I was a new person. I felt like my life had changed, but mostly just because I, a lot had happened. I'd never sat still in front of an audience that large for that long. Yeah. Am I right in remembering that like one person didn't make it all the way through? Oh, yeah. No, one of my, one of my good friends fainted.

Yeah. Oh, it was, I guess the way I said that did make it sound like someone died. No one died. Nobody died. There was a hospitalization, but it was unrelated to the wedding directly. It was, it was just,

Oh, I mean, I loved, I loved getting married. I loved getting married. I loved having all of my friends and family there. I loved being surround. I mean, it's an incredible day because you know that this group of people will never exist again. Like, we'll never be together again. And these people are wishing you well for your whole life.

The people who like loved you up in childhood, and it's just an incredible moment. Yeah. But all of that said, it is also really stressful to have that much attention on you. Yeah. Like it is, and that's why I kind of think you can't, unless it's a small wedding and a really good friend,

I wouldn't text, I would find another way. Yeah, I'd find another way. If you know no one else, that's hard. Yeah. Cause like, you gotta do some sleuthing. You gotta start it, be like, can I get in touch with this person's brother? Who are they?

Are there DMs open on Instagram? You gotta pull out all the stops. Yes, that's a good solution. Just be like, hey, brother of the bride, it's me, person you don't know, shouldn't left your DMs open anyway. What times the wedding start? Funny story. Have you ever been to, I've been thinking, so I've been thinking about this a little bit of a heck because I know that the pandemic has deeply changed me because I've gone from

being a person who frankly resented going to weddings, 99% of the time, to a person who is desperate to be invited to anyone's wedding. And will attend if there is an open bar and it is within like 45 minutes of my house. If anybody listening to this is getting married wants me to come to their wedding. I'm available. Watch it. I'm happy to be a guest. I will I'll even buy you a gravy boat. But and that and that is a huge change in my worldview that has occurred over the last 18 months. We're like I am so ravenous for human connection that I will go alone to a wedding where I know no one. Also, you and I just, the first wedding we went to after,

when we could again, was a very good wedding. Oh, God, it was incredible. It was so good. It was amazing. I don't want to throw your wedding under the bus. It was a great time. And I certainly don't want to throw my wedding under the bus because It was a great time and I certainly don't want to throw my wedding out the bus because it was wonderful. But Hannah and Ella's wedding was way better.

It was incredible. Yeah, no, I mean, I got back and I was like, I was like totally recommitted to the entire idea of people. Yes. Yes. Oh, God. And that's, and that's part of the magic of what weddings do, right? Like they make you feel hopeful and they remind you of the strange power of ritual and love in this world and like, yeah, they're great. They're awesome. And I and I'm ready to go to yours. I'm ready not yours, Hank, you don't ever get to have one again, but I'm ready to go to anyone else's. I do wanna, I have been thinking like, how do I get married to Catherine again

so that we can get all of those people together. I'm certainly not all of those people together, but many of those people together again. I just wanna have parties, John. I wanna have parties. Like I wanna do what Hannah and Ella did, but like for my friends. You can.

That's a lot. Yeah, nobody's stopping you friends. You can. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody's stopping you. Yeah. So just trying to figure that out. And if you want to renew your vows, if there is an open bar, I will be there. There will be.

Even if it's like the kind of like second class open bar, you had it your first wedding where it was just like a bunch of beer and a cooler. I'll still call. No, it was, we had two kegs. Thank you very much. And I was stressed out all night that we weren't going to finish them, despite the fact that that's like a totally normal outcome. Uh, yeah, I was going to say like what would be the, what would be the bad thing about not finishing them, like having a glass of drunk wedding party? And I, that I purchased, I purchased beer that did not get consumed.

I've got a feeling that that beer gets used one way or another somehow. Oh gosh, I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know how it works. I also don't know how it works. Okay, Hank, now that I've thrown out a wide net in search of wedding invitations, let's move on to this next question from Tune Day, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I think I've just had my own sneezing is not normal incident.

No, Tunday, we all have one or two in our lives. I work at a medieval living history museum. Well, you're really buried to leave there. That's great. In the future, if you wanna get your question answered on Dear Hank and John, you really need to have, I work at a medieval living history museum

in the first sentence. I mean, there can't be that many of these. We could go find them. The other day at the archery grounds, I told a small child, you're going to shoot all three arrows all the way across the water. I can feel it in my bones. And then this child looked at me and said, with full sincerity, you have bones. It hasn't left my mind since. Did I meet an alien child? Is it normal to have bones? Do you have bones? Rather perplexed greetings to the day. Oh my god. So I have a theory about how this happened. Okay, I want to hear your answer first. Do you have bones? Yeah, everybody has bones as long as they're like out of the womb human.

Yeah. And yeah, yep, yep. That's sort of the definition of bones. So I think I know what happened here because I had this when I was a kid. When I was a kid, there was a brief time in my life and I understood, I guess like, I had this thing when I was a kid. When I was a kid, there was a brief time in my life, and I understood, I guess like, I had this thing when I was a kid

where there were almost like two kinds of awareness. There was the sort of scientific knowledge that I was being taught in school, which I understood was true, but like just didn't resonate very deeply with me, and then there was like the knowledge of my imagination, which was incredibly powerful, so powerful that like I could live

with all kinds of contradictions between these two worlds. And I remember thinking as a little, little kid, that bones were what your body turned into after you died. But like, everything just like it melted into a skeleton shape. Yes, like you tried into a skeleton. Oh, so we don't have bones, bones are what's left after we're gone.

In which case this poor child must have been looking at toonday and thinking, oh my God, it's some sort of zombie. Why is he, why did he eat another person? He's how did that happen? Oh, God. He's animated bones. It's my worst nightmare. It's my biggest fear and it's bones come to life. Yeah. I mean, honestly, that is a little bit troubling. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird that we are bones come to life. That's weird. Yeah. Tune-day also, just not really and answer your question, or it involved at all in it. Tell me where your open-air medieval history museum is,

because I'm looking for a vacation. Yeah. I would like to go on a vacation, and maybe it's wherever you are. I'm going to go to a wedding in Wabash, Indiana, and Hank is going to go to a medieval living history museum in... I'm gonna guess Sweden?

I mean, I'm guessing Europe just because it's medieval living history. But I looked up a list of open-air living history museums and it's long. Oh, really? So we have one here in Indianapolis. It could be anywhere. And if you're getting married there next weekend, I'll come. Though if we're going by, if we're going by where it's most likely to be, based on where there are the most of them, two days in Germany. Because Germany is all about living. Okay. For museums.

All right. Well, there we go. So, yeah. Yeah. And I'm not willing to fly. I can't fly to Germany right now to attend your wedding But I can if I'm not doing anything on a Saturday and there's no Liverpool game and it's after noon. I'll be there Oh my god, John

I love it. Love this for you. How big of a journey have I been on in quarantine to be actively seeking social engagements with strangers No less that is I am I am as shocked as everyone else. I potentially significantly more shocked than John is. I feel like I'm having a fever dream and it's going to pass. Yeah, I think that probably you'll go to none of these weddings, but I encourage people to invite John. This next question comes from Lauren who asks, dear Hank and John, I'm confused about how bees work.

I understand that they are cheerful and buzzy, but oftentimes the honey is advertised as being from a specific type of plant, like clover honey. How do you control a bee and tell it which flower to go to? Do you just have to like surround it by a monoculture of a certain sized radius? Is there a limited distance that the bees are willing to travel? Are they uncontrollable? And this is all just a clever marketing, Ruse, please explain these bees, Lauren B.

The beat is not stand for B. Well, what is this stand for then, Lauren? The stands for Bath. She actually said that and I didn't say it. Oh, okay. John, did you know that there are specific types of flower honey? Yes. Yeah, because that's like a fancy thing.

Like there's honey, and I think mostly think of honey is like honey. But like then you can get like fancy honey and the fancy honey will tell you like, like oftentimes in Montana, it'll be like, this is napweed honey, which is a specific kind of flower. And but we also have clover honey. And I looked into this. And what you need to know is clover honey is a specific, has a specific flavor.

And so you can tell, like if you're a fancy honey person, you can tell if the bees were mostly using clover flowers. And clover is a good flower for bees, they like it. They like it. There's a lot of it around. In certain places, they do plant a lot of clover just to make good clover honey, which is a mild flavored honey that a lot of people like. But it's not only clover. The bees are also going to other kinds of flowers. Cloover honey will taste different from season to season. Okay. So it doesn't mean like these bees only interacted with clover.

It means this tastes like other clover honey you've tasted because these bees had a bunch of clover available to them. Yeah. Most mostly interacted with clover. And clover also I think blooms for a long time, which is nice. It does. So that also makes it a good B flower. We have a lot of Clover in our emerging...

What is the opposite of a monoculture? Nature? Poly culture, garden? Yes. Yeah. Right. In our emerging natural landscapes that we've been working on which which actually reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by John Green's Clover honey Ooh John Green's Clover honey. It's not like exclusively clothes. It's just like there's some clover in it

This podcast is also brought to you by slick tic tac maneuvers slick tic tac maneuvers No one's got no way hit them. They're gonna think, look at that man's hair. Wow. And they'll just be like, wow, are you single? Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. when he was 15, the thought of somebody going up to Hank and home from class and I'd say this would tremendous affection and saying, are you single? It's the fun, single funniest thing I've ever.

I keep throwing back that tic-tac and like every head in the class turns and is like, oh, hello. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is that guy workout? No. Today's podcast is also, today's podcast is also, of course, brought to you by missing wedding

invitations, missing wedding invitations and occasion for perhaps just like spending a morning alone in a parking lot, just chilling out waiting for the wedding to start. And this podcast is also brought to you by Bones! Bones, you got any? You got some. We also have a project for awesome message from Connor Mitchell who writes in high school, I watched Wimbley Wimbley videos in hallways with friends.

We'd never been much into real sports, but Fakesocker had its appeals slowly and strangely, the real AFC Wimbledon captured my heart. And a few years later, I was yelling and singing in Drunken Bliss as Lyle Taylor Baby scored a hat trick at my first game. Wow. Thanks, John, and all Wimbledon fans for helping me be a part of this special club. Thank you, Connor. I hope you get to go to see a game at Plow Lane soon. That's super cool. My heart is a little broken reading that I have to say Hank, because I really, really wanted to be at the first packed Plow Lane game. And it's not gonna happen. It's in two weeks and I just decided it's not gonna work for me. Yeah, and for our family, but hopefully someday soon Connor, we will meet at a Wimbleton game. John, this next question comes from Jane. Who asks, dear Hank and John, why is white noise called white noise?

It just sounds like noise noise to me. I can't sleep, Jane. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Yeah. It is a weird term, isn't it?

Well, actually, there's a specific reason why it is called white noise. And what is that reason? So white light is light that is representative of all of the spectrums of visible light pretty much evenly. So just like flat spectrum of all visible light and white noise is a flat spectrum of all hereable noise. Okay. Of all the different frequencies of noise. And there are other noises that are represented as color like there brown noise, and brown noise has like certain frequencies,

sort of like lower down and other frequencies ramped up, so that it sort of like has less hiss in it, and it's like has more lower end frequencies. And apparently that's sort of analogous to brown. But there's also, so like this idea extends to other senses as well. There is a company that has made olfactory white. So it is the smell that just like, if you add a bunch of smells together, you get this smell,

which is very strange because no one can explain what olfactory white smells like. All of the researchers who like try to tell you what it smells like always come up with different descriptions that have nothing to do with each other. Oh, that is very interesting to me because I am completely fascinated by how we apply language to smell.

Like it is so much easier for us to apply language to sites and sounds and even physical sensation than it is to to smell. Uh-huh. And I'm fascinated, as you know, Hank, I'm fascinated by the places where like language and experience just don't match up well. So it's interesting that all factory white is a scent that the people who designed it can't describe.

Right. And you need some more effective people on the task. Yeah. They should have sent a poet indeed. On the subject of white noise, though, I wonder if you've ever had an experience that I've had a bunch of times and I don't know quite what to make of.

So sometimes the power goes out. And when the power goes out, you realize all at once that there was all this noise that you are now not hearing, this humming, this kind of very high pitched, high frequency sound, and then there is like a new level of silence when the power goes out. Yeah. Are you familiar with this feeling? Yeah. Yes.

And for me, even though like I'm stressed out because the power just went out, and it's a bad, obviously it's a bad thing, and something has to be dealt with, I feel in that moment immediately relaxed. Like, something inside of me, like a breath I didn't know I was holding to use the cliche is released in that moment. And I've always wondered if that's just me or if it's like a common human thing that there's a certain level of like anxiety, background anxiety that just comes with this like literal background home.

Hmm. Um, I would not want to think too much about that because there's nothing to do about it. Well, walking outside, but yes, other than that, there isn't much to do about it. I can certainly hear the background hum of the truck that is parked in my alley right now. Oh, and I'm back in my podcasting studio at last, so I can hear the background hum of the heavy trucks moving along the interstate, which is...

I'm sure it's a knowing fortuna, but it's a huge relief for me to not have my children running around upstairs and screaming at me while I'm trying to pot. All right, Hank, before we go to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbleden, let's answer this question from Kelly who writes, dear John and Hank, someone on Twitter was at a dinosaur dig and mentioned that they uncovered a rib bone that had not seen the sun in 150 million years. I guess it's the bone, it's the bone special, Hank. We are. It's all skeletons all the time right now. That got me to thinking maybe that dinosaur

became a skeleton before it was a fossil, so the bone did see the sun. But what about my bones? Like my ribs are currently inside of me. Does the sunlight penetrate my skin and tissue enough to reach my bones? It's the middle of the night, but I cannot stop thinking about this, so I got up to write you about it. Have my ribs ever seen the sun, Kelly? Well, Kelly, let me suggest some white noise. I was not working for Jane, but it might work for you. So I thought a lot about this. Now one thing I know is that if I hold my iPhone flash up to my finger, my finger turns like glows pink and I can't imagine some of those

photons aren't getting to the little bone in there. So I think that probably, like ribs aren't very like they can be pretty surface level. So I think probably there, photons, some photons get to your ribs, but also photons definitely get to your ribs if you ever get an x-ray. Because that's the whole point. Right. Those little x-ray, x-ray light photons, non-visible light. So like this is a semantic thing. Do you just mean visible light or do you mean anything in the electromagnetic spectrum? Then you definitely are getting hit by some photons there. But sunlight has... Sunlight ever reached the bones.

Right. Well, this is at a good point. And I would guess yes, but I don't know for sure. But here's what I do know. The reason why we keep our blood manufacturing factory inside of our bones is because we want to protect that system, which churns out a huge amount of cells for your entire life. So it's, it by far produces the most cells of any, any part of your body. And, and so we really want to protect that from any radiation at all possible.

And this is not a big deal for us because we have big meaty legs and that's protecting it. But for our ancestors that had very small bodies and light could go right through it, they actually, this is why the blood production moved into the bones to protect it so that it wouldn't get hit by ultraviolet light. That might ionize some DNA somewhere and create a mutation. So specifically, the inside of your bones are not only do not see light, but are designed to not see sunlight. So there's that. It's kind of beautiful to think that there's a very dark place inside all of my bones. Yeah. Where my life is being made.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh wow, we needed the dark. Yeah. Well, that turned out to be quite lovely, Hank. Do you have news from AFC Wimbledon for me? Oh, I've got a time. Hank, it's been like five, five, do I have news from AFC Wimbledon for me? Oh, I've got a time. Hank, it's been like five weeks.

Do I have news from AFC Wimbledon? I have hardly anything else. Oh, I mean, everything, everything has happened. But the main thing that's happened is that AFC Wimbledon have played all of their pre-season games now. And pre-season doesn't matter. It does not matter.

These are games that we play as friendlies to try to, you know, check different lineups and figure out different combinations of players and different formations and whatnot. That said, it has not gone well. We lost to Brentford who are in the Premier League, so that's kind of expected. Then we lost to King Stonian who are in the Seventh Tier. Then we lost to Metropolitan Police who are also in the Seventh Tier. Then we tied Hampton and Richmond Borough. Then we lost to Dartford, not a great situation. Then we lost to Woking. There's a team called Woking and we lost to them. And we also lost to Skunthorpe. It was really, it was really a tour of the funniest place names in England.

And how can we lose to each of them? So is there a reason why you guys are losing so much? Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess there's two schools of thought about that. One is that, you know, it doesn't matter. These games are for learning. They're not for winning. And the other school thought is that the thing that these seven games have in common is that we almost never scored. And it's hard to win football games if you don't score any goals. And so that seems to be an issue. And the answer to who is going to replace noted goal machine Joe Piggit, seems to be no one. No one. Yeah.

No one is a bad answer to that question. Yeah. Now, we have had some exciting signings since we last talked Hank, including Henry Lawrence. I always love a person with two first names. That's always, I think that's always a good sign. And also Luke McCormick, both very young, very promising midfield players. And so there's some hope there. And then there have been a lot of people promoted from the Academy.

We'll have to see how that works out. And then the other cool thing that happened is that 33-year-old Darius Charles has returned to AFC Wimbledon. He played for Wimbledon during many of the league two years. I think was still playing for Wimbledon when we got promoted. And so he's back. But despite having one 33 year old player, AFC Wimbledon are still going to be by a pretty

wide margin, the youngest professional football team in England. The average age of Wimbledon's likely starters is like 19 and a half. Yeah. Oh well. There's some kids. Can you lock them in for a while? Maybe grow a bit.

It's a great question. Yeah, I mean, I have no idea what's going to happen this season. Much more than any other season, I feel like just who knows? That said, I'm hopeful, you know, the spine of the team looks really strong. It's just like, we have to have people, we need somebody who scores goals. And like, I don't know, I know Oli Palmer, who is our large forward last year. He's healthy and seems like he'll be able to play hopefully a lot and score a lot of goals. But I don't know who that second striker is going to be. And we're sort of running out of time here to, uh, to sign one.

I feel like this is how it sort of always goes in the off season. There's a lot of like, we really need. And then I like a lot of it does. It's not happening. Yeah. For sure. Now, I think we, I think we have, uh, I, yeah. No, I mean, I, this is, this is the challenge of being a perpetually underfunded football team. It's just going to be hard. That said, Hank, the most beautiful thing of this preseason was in our final game of the preseason against Skunthorpe. There were 4,000 fans at Plow Lane, not a full stadium yet, but more fans sitting in one

stand of our stadium than could fit into all of our old stadium. So it, seeing the pictures brought tears to my eyes, you know, people together watching football in a stadium that they built that they own that they paid for, it really is a very special and and uncommon thing in the history of a professional football and something for fans to be really, really proud of. And on August 14th, if everything goes according to plan, Plow Lane will be sold out for AFC Wimbledon's home opener. I won't be there, but I will be watching from home and there in spirit and I can't wait to see it. Awesome. Well, I hope it goes better than the preseason has gone.

Me too. I will say one more thing, Hank. The great thing about the standings right now is that, as is the case, most years, we are top of the league because it's alphabetical until that first game. And so we are in first place. Good work, you guys. Well, this weekend Mars news. So you have heard that there were that were these, there was some evidence of big underground lakes. So like deep down, the way that like ground penetrating radar basically was like bouncing around, was telling scientists that it looked like there were big lakes of liquid water. And this is exciting, but there are some other thoughts

about the way that we must do science, which is like, okay, but what else could it be? So there are also clay minerals that would definitely be present in areas like this, and they decided to look at what it would look like if that this sort of like same situation was instead of it being water was something called as mechdite. I think it was a claim interval and that's that's when eroded volcanic rock interacts with water and then there's like a chemical change, it's like sort of a slight chemical change where it sort of gets like bounded up with the water. And those mechdites are able to hold a lot of water. That's why what clays are really good at. And they are abundant on Mars. We had, they, there are

smack tights there. And the researchers found that when smack tights are cooled to about negative 45 degrees Fahrenheit, they could generate radar reflections similar to what the European Space Agency found on Mars. They also found evidence of smack dights in Mars' southern pole from visible and near infrared data. So they theorized that smack dights formed in the area during warm spells when there was water present and then got buried under ice while being loaded up with water. Now, this is an proof that smack dights are the actual final source of the reflectance,

but they opened up a possibility and make guide future experiments to help us understand Mars' geology. So we, regardless, this wasn't going to be water that you could just like drill into and be like, we got water, we can make, but like it was always going to have a bunch of stuff in it. So even this is, it is water. It's just all bound up in clay. So it's likely not the kind of lake of my imagination. Definitely not the lake of your imagination. Okay. It's more like a wet rock.

It's like clay. Just imagine like clay that hasn't been baked. It's like clay. Yeah, come to think of it, we have an analog for this on earth that I can picture quite well. And I wouldn't want to drink it. There are ways to get the water out of it, but there's plenty of water on Mars. Yeah, it was always going to take a certain amount of chemistry and technology to turn Mars into a place that is comfortable for humans. Is it a little bit less likely that there will be like a big pool of life down there?

I guess maybe, but it was always pretty unlikely. Right. Yeah, I mean, that's part of, I just read this great, for the Anthem scene review episode I'm writing right now. I read this great book by Alexei Lanov, who was the first person to do a space walk, and also relevant to this particular essay, the first person to make art in space.

And he wrote extensively about the challenges of long-term space travel. And how, you know, like we have to build systems, all kinds of systems that, you know, on Earth, we just evolved for. And it's really hard to like reverse evolve a planet for life versus evolving life for the, yeah, for a planet for life versus evolving life for the... Yep. ...for a planet. Yep. No, it's not going to be easy, John.

We should take care of this one. It's real good. Oh, yeah. I mean, also reading this book was the first time that I ever became like deeply aware that one of the reasons that I'm able to breathe on this earth is that my lungs evolved for this air. Yeah, they really did. Yeah. Which is just a beautiful thing to think about for me. You know, like it's lovely to think that this air, I mean, you know, maybe not this air, but in general,

still to a remarkable extent, this air, you know, my lungs were made for this air. Yeah, very much so. But we're gonna figure out how to breathe that sweet, sweet, super thin Martian atmosphere any day now. And I'll be in fully in favor of it. Honor after January 1st, 2028. Seems unlikely. Thank you, John, for coming to hang out with me

for the podcast. Thank you to everybody who sent in your questions to Hank and John at gmail.com. We wouldn't be anything without your questions. Have we answered everyone's yet? It feels like, it feels like we just keep on coming in. It's very exciting. Yeah, please keep sending your questions.

This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuneh Mettich. It's produced by Rosiana Haas-Rohas. And today, although not moving forward, she's moving on to other project shares in Gibson. And our head of community and communications is Julia Blu. Our editorial assistant is Deboki Chalker-Varity. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the Great Gunnarola.

And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. be awesome.