Dear Hank & John - 301: Super Humble Spy Brothers

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Why do people say good things humble them? How do I work at a sandwich shop? Should I lean into my temporary tattoos? Why is hold music still so janky? Why are tomatoes associated with Italy? What is a homeroom? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank at John. Yours up for further think of it, dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to be a advice, and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, I needed to get some work done on my house. And there's a guy in town who has a lot of cross-bred dogs. And he seems like he's going to be, he's like totally up to the task. Or in other words, the Labradorodle-Doodle-Doodle-Doodle.

The Labradorodle-Doodle-Doodle-Doodle-Doodle. It's okay. It's okay. Thanks. I found it on the internet. It, it smells like it was found on the internet. Hey, do you remember the reason episode of the podcast? I said that I would attend any nearby wedding like it was found on the internet. Hey, do you remember the reason episode of the podcast?

I said that I would attend any nearby wedding that had an open bar that I was invited to by any listeners of this podcast. I do remember you saying that. Now, I don't like to criticize our listeners, Hank. I think it's bad for business. And also I think buying large our listeners are nice people, but I was pretty clear.

I was pretty specific. I was pretty specific I said that the wedding had to be within 45 minutes at it had to have an open bar. I was very specific about these two things. Uh-huh. I got it. I got invited to so many lovely weddings in Georgia. Yeah, Wisconsin. Okay. All over really all over earth I got invited to so many lovely weddings. I did get invited to one wedding in Indianapolis. Uh huh. But it was, it was the day after the email was sent. And I, I mean, I don't, I don't make plans

like way ahead of time, but I do tend to, I do tend to make plans more than 12 hours in advance. That's not their fault. It's not their fault that I made this announcement late. So, and then there are a couple others that were relatively local, but that I just won't be able to attend because I had some plans. So far, at least, I'm still at zero weddings. Thank you for all the lovely invitations. I do hope to go to a wedding sometime this fall. I also realize that I missed wedding season. You know, like the core of wedding season, if I should have made this announcement

in like February. Well, here's what I'm hearing, John, is less that you are in the wrong season, unless that like people are too far away. What I'm hearing is a lack of commitment to the bit. You had several opportunities and you had something more important going on that day. You're right, okay.

I should abandon my children and their needs to commit to the bit. You're right, you're right. I forgot that the bit above all, look, if you're going to invite John to the wedding, you also need to invite his kids to the wedding. And their soccer teams because the soccer game has to happen at the wedding. So just just prep for that. Yeah, but anyway, thank you all very much for your wedding invitations. I desperately wish I could go to more of these weddings. Keep them coming. Honestly, they make me very happy.

It's, it's just good to know that there are nice things happening on earth right now. I need that encouragement in our inbox. So thank you. This first question Hank comes from Nat who writes Dear John and Hank, why do people say they are humbled when something good happens to them? Like when somebody wins an award, they might say, I'm so humbled to be here tonight or something like that. Why would that experience make you feel humbled? Wouldn't it make you feel the opposite? Not the bug net. Boy, yeah, I get up on that stage and be like, I am so emboldened to be here. I have never felt more prideful than in this, my crowning moment. What does that, what does it mean? Is it like the institutions around you that like this, like these big things that have been going on and they have a lot

of of value in your world. And so you are having you are getting invited into that. And that feels very humbling to be like in the presence of all the other people who have gotten that award, maybe. So I've only had this experience once or twice. Yeah. I'll be honest, usually when I'm on stage in front of a lot of people who are like happy to see me, I do not feel at my most humble. You know, like I feel most humble when I am like faced with a circumstance that I can do nothing about, except to like, you know, get on my knees and pray. Like that's when I feel profound humility and my smallness and my powerlessness and so on. But I do, there have been a couple times in my life, and I don't know if this is true for you. There have been a couple times

when either accepting an award or being in the presence of people I really look up to, and maybe that I think you've hit it, I do feel not quite the same sort of humility that one wants to feel in life, but I do feel I have felt like really overwhelmed by the moment and conscious of my really overwhelmed by the moment and conscious of my, my smallness, my frailness or whatever. And just, maybe what people really mean is they feel like a sense of wonder in that moment. Like the time that comes to mind, I'll just tell you about it.

In 2002, my friend Amy Kross Rosenthal had an evening where she organized what she called a writer's block party and lots of different writers read. And I was one of one of them. And this was the first time I'd read in front of an audience, I think period or certainly since college. And you know, at the end of the night, I remember just coming home and being in tears because I just, it felt so wonderful to have had that opportunity to have had that moment to be able to have shared that

with all the people who were in the theater. And it did feel adjacent to humility. It didn't quite feel like proper humility, but like I, that's what I think, it didn't quite feel like proper humility, but that's what I think about when I hear people say that, but I find it pretty cringe to be honest when people say like at the Tonys or whatever.

Yeah, I mean, I've looked up the definition of humbled, made less proud or lowered in condition. And it's just literally the opposite of the thing that happened. Yeah, I have been made more proud and been raised in condition by this award. Like that was the, it's almost like an insult. Like, so you gave me this award and I feel not proud.

And as if my stature has been lowered by this honor. Okay. I'm really trying hard to play devil's advocate here. Although I think that your argument is a lot more convincing. It's like in those like middle school debate tournaments when you've got the wrong side of the issue. You have to fight the exact like. But is there something about like being in the presence of, of, of, no,

I forget it. There's, I can't do it. I tried, I tried to know it hard. What if it, what if it's like, I, I stand here on this stage and I realize that, that I don't deserve this honor. Is that what it, it's like it's such a big honor. There's no way that someone such as I could. And maybe that is that there and maybe that no one deserves it. Like I've always I've always heard that about people when they get elected president or whatever

that they feel genuinely humbled. Like they feel like lowered in stature because they realize in that moment, the like size of the responsibility, the size of the office, and that like, it isn't them as individuals that's really central to this story, but the, you know, the office itself. So I don't feel as if I live up to, I don't feel as if I, I, or really any person could live up to that, to that thing. And so I think it probably comes from like, like when you, when someone has been extra generous to you, when you actually maybe don't deserve that level of generosity or forgiveness,

that that could be humbling. And you could say, I am humbled by that generosity. Yes. I like that. You, that's where it comes from. You ended up making both sides of the argument for me, and I really appreciate that. I am deeply humbled by the skill you used in making those arguments. I have been appropriately lowered in stature.

Hank, what would you say if you were elected hope? Would you say I am deeply humbled by this honor? I would get up on that stage and I would say I am deeply confused by this honor. This is, you know, everybody always says, this is a weird call. You know, everybody always says, this is a weird call. You know, everybody always says. Like, I like weird. I like just being random and goofy.

Like, I'm a fan of that. But you guys have gone way overboard. This is like Douglas Adams right now. Yeah, I, listen, I love an unexpected award, but I'm not sure about this one. I am unexpectedly in need of a great deal of education by this award. I'm gonna need to learn Latin fast.

And you've never been great. I'm gonna need to know a lot more about saints. You've never been great at foreign languages either. Yeah, no, I'm a little bit fuzzy on like the who all the people are. Just the basics. I could name. I could name 10 or 12. Yeah, you'd be like, so real quick, what is our sacred scripture? And how seriously do we take? Which bit of it? Super serious. So are you sure that their names are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John? Because that sounds like like characters in Beverly Hills 90210. It just sounds very American for having happened two thousand years ago in Mesopotamia. It just feels a little like

Matthew. John is always seen to be like a very American name, you know? Joseph, just Joe and Mary and really? Yeah, Joe and Matt and Mary. So I would not be surprised. I feel like I've been waiting for that call my whole life, you know? Just to get poked up. Yeah, like I feel like I'd be like, I'm ready. Let's do this.

You're getting poked is my getting a call from the CIA and then being like, we know that you're going on this trip and we need you to do a mission for us. I've always just kind of expected that. Really? Come on you guys. Oh, yeah, I can't. I probably would say no because that sounds very stressful,

but like, I can't. I probably would say no because that sounds very stressful, but like, I don't know. Like, I seem like I would be a very good spy. Uh, right? No one agrees with me in my private life. Only I think this. Yeah, I mean, respectfully, I think I might be a better spy than you and I would be a terrible spy.

I agree that you would be bad. Why do you, well, okay, now I think I would be good. I don't like the way you sounded at all when you said that. Why do you think I would be a bad spy? Because it's scary. You have to do really, really? Oh, no. No.

No, no, no, the nervous thing, the anxiety thing, that is such an asset to me as a spy. Okay. Like patients. Well, not even that. Just like people would be like, well, that guy can't be a spy. I've seen his YouTube videos. I read the Anthropocene reviewed like that guy doesn't have any spying in a me, you know, he can't even handle like a dinner party with six people. There's no way that he's going to be able to like transmit the big Information via an SD card implanted inside of his retina, but I can I can because I contain multitudes things that make me anxious Don't make other people anxious and vice versa Right, right, right. So you got all your anxiety tied up and whether or not you're gonna get a brain eating amoeba Yeah, and none tied up and whether or not the Russians are gonna find your SD cardplant in your eyeball

So much about the brain eating amoeba. Sorry. I didn't or not the Russians are going to find your SD cardplant and your eyeball. So much about the brain eating amoeba. Sorry, I didn't hear the rest of the sentence because I was so distracted. I, uh, yeah, I, I, I think very similarly about me, which is like, oh, Hank, he's goofy, he's fun. He's silly, but then surprise. I just poured on a cream powder in your drink. No, no, I mean, first off, nobody who's good at being a spy, brags about being good at being a spy.

Nobody who's good at being a spy, those are podcasts and says, I think I would make a good spy. Yeah. See, I is listening and they're like, we were gonna use both of them. And I know this because I have been interviewed, I guess would be the word bias by. And a fascinating thing happened, which is that I felt as if I had drank truth serum, even though I hadn't, like I felt like I had a moral and legal obligation to tell this person

everything. Yeah, every thing. It's a weird thing where when people ask you a question, it's like, it's very hard to not answer that. Yeah, and also they're just really good at phrasing the question in certain ways. Like, if you've ever been called about when somebody's getting like a background check to get like top secret clearance and they list you as like one of their neighbors

or friends or whatever? I have not. That sounds cool. I've gotten a few of those calls over the years and every time I'm like, wow, I can't shut up. Like. He's not gonna give you a great spy. Like this CIA agent is having to cut me off because they're busy

I will share everything you want to know yeah, I I Could I could see that and I could I could see you being a person that someone would want to talk to for a long time About and like sort of unload on a little bit. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I think that we are not humbling ourselves enough in this entire conversation. Like neither of us would be very good spies. One time I got a call about a neighbor for like a background check investigation because they were going into kind of high-ash ranking government job.

And they were like, do you think he holds any extreme views? And I was like, I mean, you got to define extreme for me. And he holds a lot of views that I find him to be rather extreme on the subject of like, how often you should cut the grass. Does it every Friday, no matter what?

You know, like, the bears are going to win the Super Bowl. I don't think that should disqualify him from government work, but like, I find it a little over the top. Oh, God. What was the question? They should cut it. We did a good job. Oh God. What was the question? The country. We did a good job of showing people exactly how humbled we are not.

Which I never proposed to be. Was that the right word? Yeah, that's one of the keys of another sign of humble people is that they don't brag a lot about their humility. Which hey, I don't, because I'm aware of my situation. This next question comes from anonymous who asks, dear Hank and John, I just got my first job working at an unnamed global sandwich making restaurant. There's really only like four options here. And I just had lunch there.

And I need your help. I'm writing to you an hour after my first shift and I am exhausted. My feet hurt, my hands are tired. How do people do this? I need this job to pay for uni. Okay. So now we know another thing about you anonymous. You got to be more careful. Okay. We're narrowing it down. You're talking to a couple of spies here right now. And I'm going to continue working what school starts, but I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. I know that you've both worked fast food before. I have not. And at least one of you works all the time.

And he advised on how to not hit my life while doing this job would be appreciated. Eat fresh anonymous. Okay. Now I really cracked the code. Yeah, we could potentially, we would have your email address that would also Security sleep. Thank you such a good spy. How are you What a unit terrible security error by emailing us from your real email address,

not using proton mail or whatever. We've got you, we've got you, you've paged. I've worked at several restaurants, including sandwich shops. And I remember, especially on the the first few days at a new job, you just have a different kind of tired because you're standing up for eight or 10 hours and most people aren't used to doing that. It is exhausting. It never gets less exhausting. The first, well, it is exhausting and there's no getting around that. But the first thing I'd say is talk to your co-workers because in my experience anyway, there's a difference between like shoes that are comfortable for walking around in and shoes that are comfortable for standing in

for eight hours when you're working at a restaurant or walking around for eight hours on that like restaurant hard floor. And your co-workers may have really good shoe advice, which I think it can be key. And then the other thing is that it does get easier as you kind of develop that sort of fitness, you know? Like there's a certain kind of,

I mean, for me anyway, the first few days that I worked at stake in shake, I was so tired when I would get home. And then slowly, it got a little more normal. Yeah, it is a physical, like just standing is a physical activity. And if you don't do it a lot, I mean, like, if you asked me to like do my job at Walmart right now, well, first, I'm a little bit, but second, just like straight up, I don't know that I could stand for that long. I would need to ease into it before I could, you know,

and then like I would develop that, that kind of standing fitness again and like it would be okay, but know, and then like I would develop that, that kind of standing fitness again and like it would be okay, but yeah, oh my god, it is a lot to stand for, you know, eight hours in a day, even if you have some breaks mixed in. Yeah, so I would talk to your co-workers, get tips and tricks and talk to other people, you know, who work in food service or in similar jobs because those, those people tend to be the experts about how to move through it in the best way. Absolutely.

All right, we have another question. This one is from Melia, who writes hay, all. So I recently found an old book of temporary tattoos on my shelf. And then one day I started stressing out about the future and such. And the next thing I knew, I was applying a lot of them all over my arms and feet. And now I have a lot of glitter tattoos, like several dozen. My first day back to school is soon. And I haven't seen these people in two years on account of COVID. And I was hoping for some duties advice as to whether I should lean in to these sparkly skull tattoos all over my body, or if people

might get weirdly intimidated, parsley, and potatoes, meal, yeah. I don't think you have to worry about people getting overly intimidated by your sparkly skull tattoos. Maybe you were indicating that that was not a real fear, but you may, you may experience some, let's just say, pre, pre-judgment. So, so, so like you're giving people more to work with. And, and, and that isn't something that people have an immediate, like, uh, like sort of slop to assign you to. There isn't like a kind of person who has a lot of sparkly glitter, temporary tattoos. So you might, the people might be a little confused,

but I don't know, there's nothing wrong with confusing people. You can throw them some curve balls here and there. I've certainly been known to do that. Here's what I think, Melia. I think if you're gonna be a great spy, you wanna have one thing that people notice, right? And it has to be something that you can change.

So that when later, the CIA is interviewing witnesses about you, they'll be like, did you notice anything about the spy? And the witnesses will all say, I noticed this glittery skull tattoo underneath her chin. And that's all this, all. That's all they're going to remember. this glittery skull tattoo underneath her chin. And that's all this, ah! That's all they're gonna remember, you know? So I think from a spying perspective, it's a definite win to have a lot of weird temporary tattoos.

From going back to school after two years away perspective, I'm a little more concerned just because, I don't know about you Hank, but like when the first day of school would be coming up, I would have a lot of ambitious ideas about how I was going to like dress and look and how I was going to just kind of be a different person that year. Yeah. And then it would all collapse within like five seconds of walking through the door of Glen Ridge Middle School. Oh yeah, for me it collapsed in my mind before I even put the clothes on. Like I would be like,

I can't, I look up at the mirror and be like, that's not me. Let's put on that old draft shirt again. Right. So what's actually going to happen is that you're going to have, you're going to be talking a big game inside your mind. And then you're going to have to wake up at like four o'clock in the morning on the first day of school to scrub off all those temporary tattoos. You're going to freak out at least if you're like us. That's a great point, John. No matter what, what's going to happen is you're going to scrub those tattoos on. So why not just do it the night before?

I know you can sleep a little later. The question is whether you do it now or you do it at four o'clock in the morning when you can't sleep because you're freaking out about how people are going to judge you for your temporary tattoos. Right. Which they probably wouldn't even do. No, because they're going to be so busy thinking about themselves. About their own selves, yes.

Which is another thing about being a spy, not to make it the spy could spectacular. But another thing about being a spy is that to make it the spy could spectacular, but another thing about being a spy is that great spies are conscious of the fact that other people are thinking about themselves. John, it feels, and Hank, with all due respect, I think that sometimes both of us can maybe lose a little bit of sight about the fact that other people

are thinking about issues unrelated to us. And I think that's another spot where we might need to work on our skills if we ever really want to be good spots. It's, I can't help but notice, John, that it seems like you've thought a lot about what it takes to be a spy. Yeah.

It feels like, maybe you've thought about this even more than me. It feels like you've thought about this like on par with brain eating amoeba. Well, I mean, I guess what I would say about it is that if I had worked or might work as a spy in some capacity, it would be something that I had thought a lot about. John, what is the fatality rate of a brain eating amoeba infection? So it's not 100% because there have been a couple of people who have survived it, but it is over 90%.

So I just want everybody to know that he's not making this up. And that was my... Oh yeah, no, I know a lot about brain eating amoebas for sure. I know the last time someone in Indiana died of, I know a lot about brain eating amoebas. Yeah, and it is a source of concern for me. about brain needing amoeba's. Yeah, and it is a source of concern for me. Yeah, and I recognize that it is not the most

likely way for my life to end. But it's not zero. It's not zero and it's terrible. So let's move on. But so are most of the ways. This question comes from Meg who asks, brothers, why is hold music still so janky? Oh my God.

All the best, Meg. Why? Why? Why? I've been, I've been on hold. I don't know, I guess at the same service for, for, uh, uh, over a decade now. Right? Here the same hold music that I've been listening to for a decade.

But now the only thing that's changed in the case of the company that I call the most often and spend the most time on hold with, which is my insurance company, the only thing that's changed in the last 10 years is that now a voice interrupts the unbelievably terrible hold music periodically to say that your call will be answered in the order it was dialed, which like, if that weren't true, I would be horrified. So like, I assume as much, right? And just the fact that you mentioned it to me has made me doubt, you know, like, why would you mention that?

Oh my God. Your call is very important to us. Right. And it also like, the more times I hear it, the less I believe it, because it's like, well, you've said this very important to us. Right. And it also like the more times I hear it, the less I believe it. Yeah. Because it's like, well, you've said this to me a lot. Right.

Like usually when somebody thinks something, they don't have to tell me 10 times in the space of 10 minutes, unless maybe I'm getting some other signals that that actually might not be the case. Right, like imagine if you were like out to dinner with Catherine and every three minutes Catherine said, you are very important to me.

You'd be like, well, I mean, so I get what, so what's the problem? And every time my insurance company says, your call is very important to us. I think to myself, is it? Yeah. Is it? But let's get to this whole music issue, Hank, because it is also a source of concern for me. There is a lot of good music, and I know that you can listen to it, because it is available on every imaginable streaming service. Yes. I would much, much rather. Somehow have to listen to ads like I do for Pandora every 12 minutes while holding and be able to choose

my hold music. Sure. Like that's a billion dollar idea. Sure. Well, I mean, but there, so like, I think there is something to this that there is something about the services that, that do this, that cost is the most important thing.

And so it's like, it's like toilet paper. At home, we all buy toilet paper that is nice most important thing. And so it's like toilet paper. At home, we all buy toilet paper that is nice. Not everybody. And like, you can't buy toilet paper as bad. You literally cannot buy toilet paper as bad as you get if you sit down to go to the bathroom in the grocery store. Right.

Like, you cannot buy that toilet paper. It is a different market. Like the only, like it's not for sale to consumers. And your theory. For sale. Your theory is that toilet paper, it is a different market, like the only, like it's not for sale to consumers. And your theory, your theory is that that toilet paper is designed to make you not love going to the bathroom at the grocery store. No, no. My theory is that the grocery store's priority is not my butt. Their priority is the cost of the toilet paper.

And the people who are buying the, the whole music companies, they look at the whole music companies and they say, who's the cheapest one? That's the only thing that they think about. Or the people who like, it's probably more complicated than that. It's probably not like, it's probably packaged in with a bunch of other services that are provided by some contractor

that helps make the phone systems work. And so you look at it and you're like, okay, who's the cheapest one? And the features you're looking for are very specific features for integration with your customer support software, not the whole music. And so it's just not an important thing

to the consumer, but not to the person who's paying for the product. So there's a step in between. It's just like the toilet paper, the grocery store. I don't think it's just... This is what I think. I think it's a little different because the grocery store is not primarily in the business

of providing toilet paper. Oh, God. That is it. That is the exact... That is the music that I listen to. Yes. Yeah. Ugh. I even know how you got that whole music.

I know what number you dialed and I know what code you put in I just actually just typed in free conference calls calm hold music because that is the conference call software that we use yeah Yeah, it isn't so bad and I Every time Yeah, it is. It's so bad. And I every time it starts up again, I think to myself, like they could be playing a love supreme by John Coltrane. Like there is no reason. It's not like, like there's, there's any number of things that they could be playing where I would be like, but instead it puts me in a sort of like heightened state, a little

bit of misery and it's terrible background music. So like when you're on hold for 45 minutes and you're driving with someone, like that's gotta be the music, whereas it should be like you're on hold for 45 minutes and you get to choose your Pandora station or at least like pick something that someone likes because no disrespect to that whole music, but like nobody on earth would choose that as the sound. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, no. I mean, literally, John, if my customer experience

would be so dramatically improved by a thing that says, if you want to change the music, press seven. Like, that can't possibly be difficult. Right. It can't possibly be difficult. Yeah. It can't possibly be difficult. And then they give you some options. Would you like to listen to jazz? Would you like to listen to pop music?

What for the, would you like the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s? 2000s, 2010s or today? Oh, apparently, is what we just have to say now. I would be fine with just, hey, if you hit 7, the hold musical switch, and I'd hit 7. And it switches. And then if I didn't like switch, and I'd hit seven. And it switches. And then if I didn't like it, I'd hit seven again. And I just hit seven until eventually we get to a love supreme.

Give me something to do. I mean, this is, like, I know good ideas, John. That is a good idea. Like the fact that no hold company, no like telephone system management company, has had that idea, which is not, can't possibly be difficult to implement, indicates to me that there's just a, either a monopoly there or just tremendous amount of stagnation in the industry.

Hank, when I heard you say, I know good ideas with the level of confidence with which you said the sentence, I couldn't help but think how humbled you must be. I am so to no good ideas. I'm so humbled by the power of my own brain. It is so powerful that it really it just makes me feel in awe. Yeah, of being in its presence. Yeah, nothing makes me feel humility like just having to grapple with my own individual genius Just being in its company Is it truly humbling experience? And then and I walk out onto the stage to get my award for guy who knows good ideas and you know

Oh God. I'm so glad you got that award Hank. Congratulations. This next question comes from Jay Kuh writes, dear John and Hank, tomatoes are one of my favorite foods. And recently I was thinking about them and their heavy association with Italy. They've got pizza sauce, marinara, possibly more foods based off tomatoes that I don't know about, but didn't tomatoes originate in the America? Oh wow. Wasn't this mean that Italians would have only had tomatoes

for like a few hundred years? Is that really enough time to build up a deep identity? Why don't we associate tomatoes with the Americas? Jake the A-Train. John, let me tell Jake about this new book called the Anthropocene Reviewed, where you have identified one of John's new areas of expertise tomatoes and the new world and old world. And the Colombian exchange more, more generally. Yes. Yes.

So there were not only were there no tomatoes in Afro-Eurasia until after the Colombian exchange began, for the first couple hundred years after there were tomatoes in Europe, people thought they were poisonous because other members of the nightshade family are poisonous. And also because people would sometimes die after eating tomatoes, rich people would, but they weren't dying because of the tomatoes. They were dying because of the acid in the tomatoes leached a lot of lead out of their lead plates.

And so they died of acute lead poisoning. My God. Everybody acute lead poisoning. My God. Everybody had lead poisoning. Everybody had lead poisoning. So it's true that tomatoes are not part of Italy's food culture a thousand years ago. It's also important to remember that a lot of the cultural associations we have both culinary and otherwise would not have been possible before the Colombian exchange.

There were no horses in the Americas before the Colombian exchange. There was no cassava in West Africa before the Colombian exchange. There were no potatoes in Ireland. The world was just very different. Yeah. were no potatoes in Ireland. The world was just very different. Yeah, well, and the second piece of this question is like, can you develop a deep cultural relationship with something in just a couple hundred years

and allow me to propose the automobile, which we have a pretty big sort of sophisticated apparatus around and we have lots of different thoughts about what different kinds of cars mean and how to make and build and model like ideas into vehicles. Socker. People will then buy, I don't know how long. Is Socker not been around long?

No, it seems like Socker's been around forever. I mean, depending on your definition. Socker, as it is currently played, has only been around for about 170 years. And back then, it was a vastly different game, even basketball, the same way. Baseball, all of these things are less than 200 years old. There are so many things that we think of as being natural, the front lawn, you know, that aren't that are very, very recent. And that is what I wrote the other PC and review about was trying to grapple with the strange reality that all these things that feel natural or inevitable

upon closer inspection prove not to be. Yeah, and I also think that the, it does not take long. You know, for something to be a thing for like everyone who is currently alive, it only has to be a thing for a hundred years. Yeah, with a couple of people on the edge of the bell curve. Yeah. To be like, I remember when there weren't tomatoes. And really be like, ah, that's not a thing.

Right, right, right. Or those people seem like ancient history anyway. They seem so old that like, I remember being a kid and my parents talking about like the the 1960s and like Woodstock and just being like that is essentially the same thing as the 11th century, you know, like there's every yeah, all of human history before me sort of collapsed in my, you know, childhood imagination into sort of like one thing. Right. And yeah, and now that is as far away, that was as far away then as like in sync is now. Yeah.

Oh God. So. Oh man, you want to know the one that blows my mind. Uh huh. Okay, please hit me. When teenagers today wear Nirvana shirts, that's not like you and me wearing a Beatles shirt. That's like you and me wearing an Elvis shirt.

John, to me, that doesn't do it because to me, the Beatles and Elvis are the same because they all make they both happen in the 11th century. They was just like that. Yeah, them and Beethoven, you know, like they're old. Yeah, I mean, I like as a teenager, I would have never been able to tell you if Beethoven recorded music or I guess didn't record music, made music, whatever, whatever he did in the 19th century or the 16th century, I genuinely could not have told you the, I would have.

I mean, I don't know if I could tell you that right now. You do, you do not think it is possible that Beethoven, he's, he seems, he seems older than the 19th century. I'll say that. So it must be the other one. He died in 1827. And you cannot think that Beethoven was recording music during the Renaissance. Or maybe you can, I don't know.

Maybe you can. Okay, that's fine. Oh, no, no, no. I mean, if I thought about it long enough, maybe, but now I have the answer. So it all seems clear. Yes. No, the first symphony first appeared in 1800. So very early 19th century, the earliest, you know, and he lived obviously much of his life in the 18th century, but no, he was primarily an early 19th century composer. And that's why you come to Dier Hankajan because today's podcast is, of course,

brought to you by Beethoven. Beethoven, not just a dog in a children's movie, I was recently forced to watch, but also a musician. And this podcast is also brought to you by humility, humility. It's that emotion that you feel when you have been honored so Tremendously that you are now way too big for your bridges and think that you're super clever despite not knowing which century Beethoven lived in That that was truly a humbling moment Hank and I appreciate I appreciate you allowing yourself to Convulnerable in that moment to, and we will never judge you for it, except for a little bit. Today's podcast is also brought to you

by Unnamed Global Sandwich Making Restaurant. Unnamed Global Sandwich Making Restaurant, eat fresh. And by the day of podcast is also brought to you by brain eating amoevas. Brain eating amoevas. Only a 90 plus percent chance of death. Oh God, okay, let's, yeah. We also have a project for all some message

from Vanessa Tien to Jasmine Zo. I don't know how to write this message well because you're the person I would go to for stuff like this. Thank you so much for being my best friend. These past eight years. If I have done anything right in my life, it was meeting you. Thank you for adding love and nuance to my life. I hope you know how

much I love and appreciate you. That is so lovely Vanessa and Jasmine. We hope that you are both well and here's to adding love and nuance everywhere we go. What a lovely calling. John, I have a piece of information for the person who didn't know when the wedding was going to be. Yeah. Call the wedding venue. Yeah. Yeah, we got. They know we got a lot of a lot of people pointed out to us that we could it. We could have just recommended that they call the wedding venue instead of recommending that they show up at the parking lot at 830 in the morning and wait for the wedding. Our brains work at a donut different level than everybody else's.

We don't. It was really humbling actually to receive all those emails. Correct. Correct. We also have a question from Pear who writes, dear John and Hank, on your latest episode of your brilliant top five podcast. What? Pear, what do you mean top five?

You mean cause delete this in Anthropocene reviews might be better? Hmm, I was very, that's very humbling to read, Pear. You spoke at length about starting at a new school and you kept saying this thing. I'm from Sweden. What is a home room? All right.

I can see how that's a weird idea. What is a home room? I mean, the moment I read that question, I was like, great question, Pear. And I don't even know if other countries have this thing. Well, I didn't have it through the entirety of my schooling either. Yeah, that's right.

I had it in middle school and then I had it in ninth grade and I don't think I had it other than that, but a home room is where you go in the morning before your day starts. And as I recall, like, nothing happens there except for bullying. Yeah, nothing, nothing you said. Discomfort to read or like, I remember I used to braid hair in a whole room. That's what I would braid my friend's hair. Sure. That's the,

it was just a sort of socialization experience. Yeah, you'd do some beating project or something, like make a beat necklace. I remember home-room as being the least pleasant like 30 minutes of the day, precisely because I didn't know what I was supposed to do and I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone and everyone else was talking to everyone else and I would just be like, okay, well, here we are again, home room. Love starting out the day this way. But at least in my memory pair,

basically nothing happened in a home room. Yeah, I wonder why home room exists. And I think that it probably exists like one, you get everybody in the same place so that you can tell them about things that are going on maybe. Yeah. But like, I don't know why that can't just happen. Because you don't want to take up that time During the first class of the day. Yeah, so you do it in this other thing where you everybody's gathered just like here The announcements in the news like have daily attendance taken right there will be like People will get documents if you need to take a form a home for something right and also maybe you're sort of giving people a time to be a little bit late.

Oh, that's what it was. Okay. Yeah. That all makes sense. Hank, that's what a home room is fair. We think. Yeah. It's just it is a room you go to when you first get to school that you are not taught in. All right. It's time for the most important part of the podcast. The news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. And I'll go first because it was a huge weekend in AFC Wimbledon's history. It was the first game at our new stadium, Plow Lane, owned by the fans back home, where we belong in Wimbledon in the community where the football club was founded over 130 years ago.

It had been 30 years since Wimbledon played a proper home game in front of fans. And it was magical. I was not able to be there, but Rosiana was there. She faced time me from the game. And I watched with our dad, which was very special for me, because dad was also with us at Wembley when Wembley didn't got promoted up to the third tier of English soccer. And it was just amazing to see this beautiful stadium

with 10,000 people in it to go from a stadium that sat, you know, like 2,500 people to this amazing state of the art place. It's just, it's just incredible. I was so proud. I was not humbled. And it was amazing. It was really wonderful.

I cried a lot. Right at the beginning, they held a minute's applause for all the fans who weren't there to see that moment, you know, because in 30 years, a lot, you know, of course a lot of people died. A lot of people were thinking about their parents, who'd brought them to their first Wimbledon games. A lot of people were thinking about friends and it was just really moving and lovely. And on the broadcast, the screen streaming broadcast, the announcer has talked about how, even though those people are gone,

they are still part of this story. And I think that's a really important thing, to remember in any community that, it's for the people that you're sharing that experience with now, but it's also for all the people that you've shared it with before, and all the people they shared it with going back to the beginning of that community. And it was just really, really special. The game itself was a bit of an afterthought

until it started, at which point I really wanted to win. And who should score in the like 23rd minute, but will nightingale, our central defender who has been with Wimbledon since he was eight or nine years old. And it just you could tell it meant the world to him. He scored a header and the camera zoomed in on him and his face was crumpling into tears. I know that he dreamt about that moment from the time that he was a kid and so it had to be him and it was and then Wimbledon went old school last season Wimbledon and gave up two goals in two minutes immediately after going all day long. Oh my god. And then I was like, I said to my dad, like, we just need Mark Robinson to get in there at halftime and yell at them a little bit. But

the fans never stopped singing. They never stopped being into the game. Even after Bolton went up three one at the beginning of the second half, the Wimbledon fans were still singing. They were still encouraging the team. It was beautiful to hear. They were singing, show me the way to Plow Lane. It was phenomenal and it did lead to an amazing comeback. First Ayuba Saul, who nobody in league one has an answer for, was fouled in the box and then pressly scored a wonderful penalty kick. And then just two minutes later, our new player on loan from Watford scored to make it three three plow lane erupted. I have never it was like, it was unbelievable.

I was like shaking. I just to be there with dad to be watching it together to know that there were 10,000 people who had worked so hard together for this moment and then to have the football also have this amazing comeback. And I really thought we were going to win then because I it just felt it just felt inevitable. But you know, real life is real life and it ended in three three and whatever will take a point. And that's four points out of a possible six in our first two games, which God does is better than we've done the last few years. So off to an awesome start. And most importantly, fans are back, football is back. It just, it felt great. And the, the stats seem good. Yeah.

We outplayed them. More shots. More possession, better pass accuracy, more passes. Yeah. No, we played great. I mean, I, and we are fun to watch. Like counter pressing because all of our players are so young, they're so fast, you know, like they just run and run and they're just, it was awesome.

It was a joy to watch. And it's so clear that this Wimbledon team gets it like knows, knows the community, knows the history, you know, that this is an important part of becoming a Wimbledon player is understanding that like you're not playing for some rich owner, you're playing for the fans who own the team. So it's, it was beautiful. It was, yeah, it was a really special day. What's the news from Mars? Well, the news from Mars, after six months, can you believe it's been six months of driving?

Wow. Wow. On a driving around on Mars. No. For a clearance. Has taken its first sample, or it attempted to take its first sample by drilling into a rock, sample or it attempted to take its first sample by drilling into a rock and then putting that into a tube. It went perfectly. In fact, Jennifer Trosper of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory said, it went really well other than that the rock behaved in a way that didn't allow us to get any sample in the tube. So...

Everything was great. Everything was great. Is there something weird about Martian rocks that we don't know about because didn't we have a somewhat similar issue with trying to like drill into the surface to get the Mars Quake data? So there is a very slight chance that Mars doesn't actually exist. And then when we try and get Mars into a tube, Mars is like, poof. I'm not actually here, but very small, only a very small chance. Yeah. So, uh, so that's really unlikely.

I have to say, I can see it up in the sky. Yeah. Uh-huh. Trustworth says, we need a more cooperative type of rock. This one was crumbly. It may have had a surface that was hard, but once we got in there, all the grains just sort of came apart. So they're trying to like get a hunk of rock that sort of like is like a tiny core, and

this didn't happen, it just sort of like turned to powder. But they did want to get one vile that was full of Martian air, so they have one of those. Oh, good. And they have 43 more sample tubes. So there are lots of more chances to try and get some Mars into some tubes that will eventually theoretically then be collected by a future mission and brought it back to Earth. Is there a idea? Is there a possibility that these tubes can be collected by an unmanned mission to Mars. Yeah. So it's possible that like, that's the plan.

Okay. So, but we still have to develop an ability to get something to Mars that can get back to Earth which we haven't done yet. Yeah. Yeah. Hank, we got a question about this recently that I thought was really interesting

and I'd like to hear your perspective on it. Somebody wrote in to ask, if we had to, in terms of where the technology is, if they were like, you know, if we absolutely had to get a person to Mars, or we absolutely had to get something to Mars that could get back, could we? Yeah.

Okay. Yes, I mean, not like tomorrow, there'd be a large process of building things. It would depend on what the objectives of the mission were. If the objectives were to put a person, make a boot print in the dirt, and then put them back on the thing and launch that would obviously be a lot less

of an intensive project than trying to create a, you know, months or years long mission to actually do some research. Because it's a long trip. So you're going to want to spend some time there once you arrive. But if you just want to do the thing, that is a lot easier. Because you don't have to take as much food, you don't have to take as much stuff to sort of make sure that you can continue to sustain life on the surface of Mars. But yeah, we could do it with current technology. And in fact, we could have done it with current technology 20 years ago. It was just, would be ludicrously expensive. And it's just, it's getting cheaper as we get better at the science and technology and engineering necessary to get all that done.

So maybe 2027 isn't off the cards completely. Well, no, I mean, if we really had to, we could do it. It's just that when I made the bet, it was not 2021. Right. Yeah. No, I understand. It was more uncertainty in it back then. Yeah. What a great bet. I mean, I wish that I'd I wish that I'd pick different stakes. I wish that I'd picked, I don't know, like, a million dollars, but I will take yeah, changing the name of the podcast. Well, I for one

still haven't given up hope. I think that on January 1st, 2028, there is still a chance that this podcast will be named to your Hank and John. Mostly I can't believe that we're almost definitely going to still be doing it in 2028. Well, I don't want to go to almost definitely a lot could happen. I mean, a lot could happen. Braining in Miba, that's all you need to just be in Ibba and then as you know, Hank, I do not like to tempt fate.

Okay. Okay. Well, hey, I think that that's correct because if one of us dies of a brain eating amoeba, this will be a really shitty episode of Dear Hank and John. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's gonna be like, man, they really, they predicted it and that is a highly unlikely thing

to predict. It would be very humbling. No, I don't know that, don't know that you can predict. It will be very humbling. I don't know that you can have posh tumous humbling. I'm assuming it's you, Ties. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, I do not spend a lot of time with my head underwater. So I don't, I think it's not likely to be me. Okay. All right. Okay. All right.

We're off now to record our Patreon only podcast this weekend's stuff at patreon.com slash deerhankajon. Thank you all for listening. And thank you for your wonderful questions. email to us at hankajon at gmail.com. Another piece of information delete this is sort of has a little bit started to come back occasionally Occasionally we had an episode last week, probably have another one this week, but who knows? And you can find that by searching for Delete this. It's my podcast with Katherine, where we talk about Twitter and my Twitter and how I'm doing and also just make mostly with snake jokes. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tune of MetaSh it's produced by Rosiana Halso-Rohas and Sheridan Gibson. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom.

Our editorial assistant is Deboki Chauk-Ravardi, the music you're hearing now, and at the beginning of the podcast, it's by the great Gunnarola, and as they say on our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome. you