Dear Hank & John - 304: Snotty Little Crapburger

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

What do I do when I freeze up in a job interview? How do I bail on a high school I never attended? Are we still evolving? Should I attend my high school's do-over prom? How does gravity affect lemon men? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or is that prefer to think of it Dear John and Hank? It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and F. C. Wimbledon, John, Catherine recently blocked me on Facebook because I had posted too many bird puns. Well, two can play at that game. Ugh. I mean, the funny thing about it, Hank, is just for just to pull back the curtain a little

bit for our listeners. Yeah. We spent the last 12 minutes with you kind of like half engaged in a conversation, which is a lot of our conversations. And it turned out the reason you were half engaged is because you were looking for a really good joke. That's what you said eventually. Those are your exact words because you were looking for a really good joke. That's what you said eventually those are your exact words. I'm looking for a really good joke.

I know. Then he said, then he said, I've got it. Well, I said, I gave up. I didn't, I didn't succeed. I gave up. But the frustrating thing from my perspective is that I offered you several jokes, which were very good, including the famous Terry Pratchett joke, the darkest funny joke I know give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

There's a variation on the old fish joke. That's a good one. And you couldn't use that one. But instead, you, you, you, you could cocked in some story where Catherine blocked you on Facebook, which, by the way, I wouldn't blame her. I follow you on Facebook because you're my brother and all it is is your old TikToks. It's my old TikToks and some of my old tweets. It's like, hey, did you enjoy this the first time? Kind of. Here it is again. Yeah.

No, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know when things I run my Facebook because it's just out there pretending to be me mostly. I think it's great that you've been building up your audience on Facebook, Hank, like because for like 10 years, like social media pros have been telling us like, oh, you really should be building out your Facebooks. And you and I are both like, I genuinely can't be bothered. That sounds like the absolute pit of hell. I can't visit that place ever again. But then like, I'm looking here at a recent video that you posted. It's a TikTok that you're reposted to Facebook. And it, I mean, you are building a fan base. Am I? Yeah, I haven't

looked. Yeah, I've got, I have, I definitely have more followers on Instagram than I once did. It's, it is always very weird to me to go to my Facebook where I, I did post some things 17 hours ago. And there have been a number of engagements with it that I feel I am not doing the work, you know, not doing the work of connecting with these people who are, I guess they're connecting with each other. That's good. Yeah, believe me, Hank, it's not about you. I'm curious.

The thing I tweeted was, can you believe, John and I used to make videos about like international relations WTF, where we thinking? I mean, those videos were by far the most popular videos we ever made. Like if we were economically rational creatures, we would have done more and more and more of them. That's the thing that we would have done for a living.

Yeah. Yeah, there was just one problem with it, which was that it was miserable. Like, I don't, it was very hard. Not just that, but terrifying. Yeah. And the comment section of vlog weather videos, it's really one of the last great places on line. Like, it's beautiful, you know?

Yeah. It's like, it's like an astonishing oasis. And if we had continued to make like international relations content, I think that the comments section would have gotten worse and worse and worse. Yeah. I mean, the real reason WTF were we thinking is like, I actually don't mind so much the idea that we were trying to intelligently communicate a balanced perspective from a trusted source. Because people don't have an infinite number of people

who they trust, and so it's nice to maybe hear some perspectives you might not expect from those people. And not like a surprising perspective, but just like them talk about something that you might not expect them to talk about, give you a little bit of depth and nuance on a topic that you probably aren't thinking that much about. I don't think that, like, I think the problem is, why would we want to have that job?

It's so bad. It's just so hard and you really do get, I mean, you get threats like genuinely. Oh, yeah, we, yeah, I mean, we, I'm pretty sure that because of one of our videos, a, a government came after us. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's not an exaggeration. And one of the things I learned from that experience where a government came after

us and attempted to access and maybe did access a lot of our private information is that, and this is something I'd always sort of suspected about myself, but I didn't know for sure. I am not courageous. Right? Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. And that's an important thing to know about yourself. I think it's important to know deep down when push comes to shove, like, how courageous are you? And the answer for me is not very. Nope, that's fine. And that's fine.

We're doing a different thing. That I'm happy I like it. I think we're doing a good thing that is different. Let's answer some questions for our listeners before certain autocrats start trying to hack our email again. It's first question comes from Abby who writes, dear John and Hank, I've been interviewing for jobs recently and I'm often asked questions that make my brain go blank.

I think I sometimes just feel like the answer to the question is broadly understood and I don't know how to articulate that in a way that feels like value is being added. Is there a solution to this? Articulate but awkward Abby. Gosh. I have this problem. Well, I have this problem.

Anytime anyone asks me to think of something specific. Yes. Like, this has to be a universal human experience where it's like, can you tell me about a time in your past? No. I cannot tell you about a type. Like, I can, if we're having a conversation, I'll be like, oh, yeah, remember that time?

That thing happened to me and it was made. I have this friend who did paddled out into the bay on a mattress and I'll have a thousand stories. But I cannot tell you one of them if you ask for one. Not only that, but like if I'm in a public event or something and somebody asks, what are you reading? Like what book are you reading? My immediate reaction has always,

well, I knew three seconds ago. And now I'm broke him. You broke this boy. In fact, like one of the ways that I've developed to deal with this Abby is before I go on stage or before I know I'm doing some kind of interview or Q&A, I decide what I'm reading. And it may be what I'm reading. Hopefully, that's the perfect situation,

but it just has to be a book. It just has to be a book where I'm at least faintly familiar with the plot. Yeah, I mean, I will. Because I know if somebody asks me what I'm actually reading, I'll be like, God, what was I reading last night? Like, oh, I remember I was chilly for dinner

and then I helped the kids go to sleep. And what, where, and what, who dinner and then I helped the kids go to sleep and what where and what Who are you? Yeah, yeah? Oh, you got it so stressed and job interviews you got to have a question you want to ask them and that question should be based on like I like they should know from the question you ask how you imagine The how the ways you are going to help them get worked on, I guess. And, but like, so you should have that in your back pocket. You should have a time when you faced adversity in your back pocket.

That's a thing that is always comes up. How did you handle a conflict between yourself and someone else or two people in a work environment of some kind. But man, often I'm asked in interviews, is there anything that you would like me to ask or is there any question you like people to ask? I'm like, no, just don't ask. Never.

You can ask, is there anything that we didn't get to that you thought we would? Because then it's like putting the onus on my past self. Like did my past self have a thought that now did not get fulfilled? But my current self, no thoughts empty. Had empty doing interview, only responding, not being creative.

Yeah, I mean, my feeling when I'm in an interview is always that like, I'm not really there. Like, I just can't be fully present because it's a heightened state. Yeah, too many things. That's one of the things that makes it so difficult to really evaluate somebody based on their interview, right? Because like, I don't think I'm an amazing employee. I'll be honest. Like, I'm like a B minus. But I'm definitely a better employee than I am an interviewer. If you ask me a question in a job interview, I'm going to stare

at you blankly 30 or 40% of the time. Whereas before working together, I'm going to stare at you blankly 20% of the time at the most. Anyway, Abby, I think both for Hank and me, the solution is the same which is to try to be as prepared as possible to like have a set of answers in your mind already. And I know sometimes that makes me sound sort of rote or like I'm not coming up with it in this further moment, but whatever. I'm not because this isn't my meal you. Like I'm not good at this. Excellent advice. Maybe.

John, this next question comes from Rowan who asks this question two years ago, I joined the Discord for a high school. I do not attend in a state. I have not visited in over a decade. Wow. I am now the owner of this server and they think I'm a senior. What should I do? Oh God.

Not a Roman, Rowan. Rowan, why did you do that? Well, okay, Hank, we cannot go back in time and judge Rowan for making this terrible mistake. The situation is the situation, okay? When we're 15, we do stupid things, right? Everybody when they're 15 does occasionally join an out of state school's discourse. No, but everybody does a version of it, right? And like, honestly, that's not the worst version, you know?

Definitely, definitely. That said, Rowan, I'll be honest, this isn't great. And I think you know it's not great. And I think you know that there is no easy way out of the situation. There is a way, though. What is the way, Hank? You got to move to a different state. You have to enroll in the school. You have no choice, Rowan. You're graduating from that high school. You got to go to your in the school. You have no choice, Rowan. You're graduating from that high school.

You got to go to your parents or guardians and you got to say, listen, this is going to sound weird, but we do need to move to Pennsylvania. And I don't mean like eventually. I mean now. I mean, is that are the names anonymized? If the names are anonymized, so I assume that you're using some name that's not searchable. I don't know how this works.

Yeah, so like, is it, how big is this school that they don't, they haven't noticed? But you could, you could go recruit a person to become you, like the dread pirate Roberts. You have to capture them? No. You have to capture them. No, you have to, you have to hold them captive in every morning. They say, every day you say, you know, like most likely I will kill you in the morning, but then you develop a rapport and then you hand over the title of dread pirate Roberts. No, that is obviously not the solution.

Honestly, I see two ways forward. One way is you graduate, Rowan, and you say, it wasn't graduation fun. Hey, now that I've graduated, I'm pretty sure it's time for me to hand over to Keith's, it is here, discord. And I'm moving on. I'm going to college. This is going to sound weird, but I'm from here. And I wish everybody the best. Go whatever it is. Red Deakin's and then wow. Yeah, I don't know where that came from. What's our red Deakin? What's a Deakin?

That's like a priest. Yeah, yeah. Maybe a cardinal. I don't know where it came from. Hank, it came from deep within the recesses of my mind. Go Red Deakin's. That's the mascot of the of the from. Hank, it came from deep within the recesses of my mind. Go red deacons. That's the mascot of the deer, Hank, and John high school.

And the other option, which frankly, Rowan, is the correct option, but also the one I wouldn't do is to say to the discord, listen, I have perpetrated a fraud. It is the dumbest fraud imaginable, and I am super embarrassed, but I was 15. And now I am 17. Actually, Rowan doesn't say that they are a senior. They say they think I'm a senior. So yeah, Rowan could be any age.

Rowan could be nine. Yeah, like by the way, this story is a lot less cool. Rowan, if you're like 34, if you're 34, you need to get out of that discord server right now. If you're nine, this is hilarious. That's just actually pretty cool. Yeah, that's actually, look, I just wanted to know it was like to be a high school student.

We're gonna imagine that you're nine. We're gonna imagine that you're nine, that you were seven when you, when you took over this discord, you're nine years old now. And I think today's the day, Rowan, look, look, I have kids about your age lying and, and make believe it's just part of life. I think you walk in metaphorically to the discord and you say, listen, y'all, I am not a 17-year-old senior at Pittsburgh Red Deakin High School. I am a nine-year-old. And I was just having some fun. I got kind of bored with playing with crayons. And so I decided to take a motionally internal channel.

And I feel like I have to, I feel like I have to reveal myself and just, I feel like I have to part ways with y'all. I have perpetrated a fraud, but you are the ones who should be ashamed. I would, I would come clean. I would come clean is what I would do. Yeah. I think that's the right thing to do. Well, I would be clean is what I would do. Yeah. I think that's the right. Well, I would be, well, I mean, regardless, the owner of a discord can transfer that ownership to someone

else. And so you have to figure out how to do that correctly. And I do, I would encourage you to not have kidnapping be a part of it. Great job, Hank. Really, wait a minute. Cover your bases. really way to cover your bases. The idea, I'm finding it hard to let go of the idea of a nine-year-old being the owner of high school discord and just being like stuck inside of a terrible guy that they can't seem to find their way out of. Yeah, they'll be okay. You got another question from me, John? Not really, I was just kind of staring into space

remember in one of my modifications. What's going on? Are we making a podcast? Well, I was thinking about making a podcast. You know, honestly, if I could have a sandwich, that would be great, but I can't. I think it's not a big a podcast. I think it says a lot about both of us

that during the little moments when we stare off into space, you're thinking about having a sandwich and I'm thinking about something embarrassing I did when I was 16. Oh yeah, no, I was I was just thinking I was thinking about a particular sandwich too. I was thinking about a particular thing I did that was embarrassing when I was 16 that made me kind of be able to relate to Rowan a little bit. Yeah. All right, Hank, this next question comes from Molly who writes, dear John and Hank, are we still evolving? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But what's the next part?

Are we? I'm pretty sure that evolution doesn't really stop, but if that's the case, then do we know what will evolve into or what aspects of us will change or is that to be determined? I'm hoping that for future generations, that this is not our final state as human beings. Well, me too, Molly.

Well, I mean, I do have to, I gotta be a team human over here. We're doing some pretty amazing stuff. The whole music culture. Yeah. There's a lot to be said for humans. And we've also made some bad music. You know Nobody ever talks about that when they're like oh humanity is amazing John Coltrane. Yes, okay

But also you know, I don't know hit I'm not gonna name names. Yeah, well, it's it's unclear It is unclear how we are evolving evolution takes place fairly slowly. We have long generations as people. There is some indication that maybe we are evolving to have slightly wider hips because that increases the outcomes of positive outcomes in childbirth. But yeah, it's very difficult to say. And one of the things that is clear is that when you ask whether we are evolving, you're asking genetically. But in fact, the primary way that we evolve is culturally and technologically

and we are evolving rapidly, culturally, rapidly, technologically. Like we are able to do all kinds of things now that we could not do 100 years ago. And we are, you know, in the same way that like a mouse is made up of the earth, you know, like all of its parts are earth parts. We are also all made up of earth parts. We are also both physical and living, but in addition to being physical and living,

we are very cultural and we are very technological. So that's in general when people ask this question, I'm sometimes worried that the thought is, how do we evolve into a better thing? Or will we evolve into a worse thing? But in fact, because cultural evolution happens so much more rapidly, that is the primary way in which we are evolving. And those are the ways that we should be paying the most attention to and be the most inspired by and also worried about. Yeah, I think you nailed it there. The ways that we are changing are really important. And they are in response to, in some cases anyway, in response to selection pressures, even if they aren't all biological.

It can be really hard to stop and consider how radically life for humans is changing, but I found out this today that helped give me a little bit of perspective. Hank, you and I have been making YouTube videos since before there was an iPhone. Yeah, I knew that stat, but I hear it again, because it's usually several years between the hearings, it does continue to affect me. It's weird. It's effective. It's weird. I couldn't spend four hours looking into my phone when we started making YouTube videos

because I had no phone into which to look. Yeah, Twitter did not exist. I think it did exist, but only like 12 people used it. Man, my God. This next question comes from Jay who writes, Seerch, I'm going to go to college with it in high school in 2020. So the end of my senior year was cut short because of the, you know, which means that we didn't have a prom.

Since then, I've moved away from home and started college. Recently, my high school, which by the way, is named the Pittsburgh Red Deacons, decided to give a kind of a redo from a reunion gala. The theme, decon red, you know, I didn't keep in touch with any of my friends from high school very well. Well, you can't blame the pandemic for that, Jay. I'm sorry. It's like there are no tools with which to communicate during the, you know, anyway. Jay's point is It's like there are no tools with which to communicate during the, you know, anyway. Jay's point is I didn't keep in very good touch with my friends

from high school. So much time has gone by, but not enough to eagerly want to see the people I went to high school with. The only reason I was ever going to go to prom in the first place is that you only get one or whatever, which I guess is still true. Should I go like Gatsby J? Yeah, you should go. You should go not least because you haven't done a good job of keeping in touch with your friends. This is an opportunity to reconnect and like maybe make a weird memory. And like the worst thing that can happen is that you have a terrible time and you leave early and you're like, wow, it's just like I thought prom would be. It was.

Yeah, yeah. This is so like there's this, there's this, you know, not unlikely circumstance in which you will have a memory of an evening that was like, eh, but if you don't go, you will have no memory of that evening. It will just be another one where nothing happened. Yeah, and it could be great, right? Right. If you have a 10% chance of having an amazing once in a lifetime experience, you should take

it. Oh, yeah. And the cost is pretty low and you can see some people and maybe reconnect and like maybe do a better job of staying in touch with some people if there's anyone you wanna stay in touch with moving forward. So for me, it's a definite yes, Hank. Did you like your problem? So I went to six formal dances in high school.

I have a hard time remembering which one was which. Right, I know. I understand that. But I definitely liked a majority of the formal dances I attended. There was one that was punctuated by an illness of a friend that made it a not enjoyable time and one that was in the midst of a breakup that we were trying to not have that was not a good one either. Yeah, that doesn't sound super fun. Yeah. I had, there was no problem at my high school, but I did go to the

Prom at your high school, not while you were there that would have been weird. You know, like it was the high school that I went to before I left for boarding school and somebody asked me and I was like, yeah, I'd love to go to prom with you. And we had an awesome, awesome time, like even though I didn't really know anyone and I'm not the sort of person,

but like a joy put a gotta tuxedo and walking into a room where I don't know anyone, I had a really good time. And I did see some people that I had missed and got to reconnect with, and I had an awesome time with my date. I wouldn't say quite a 10 out of 10 experience for me, but definitely a nine out of 10 experience for me. That reminds me of something important,

heck, I've been thinking about. I wanted to ask you about. Okay. Do you have any things in your life like you think of yourself as being a certain kind of person, right? And like, think of yourself as being a certain kind of person, right? And like think yourself as like having these personality traits or Whatever which to one degree or another feel more immutable to you than they probably are. Yep And are there things in your life that you look back on and you're like, huh?

The story that I've been telling myself about who I was or am cannot possibly be true with this memory also being true. Yeah, yes, you're familiar with this experience. I'm familiar with that experience. I feel as if I have adjusted my I've adjusted my my view of myself in retrospect to allow for it though. No, I, I saw a few things where like they'll come up from the past and I'll be like, oh, that does not make sense. Like, good.

No, yeah, I definitely have some from you where I'm like that you did that. Yeah. You did that. The one that came up this weekend was like, Sarah mentioned in passing like, oh, you know, in high school, John Tudacco. And I was like, I did.

He did. It was real close. Everybody hated it. What? And not only that, like, I thought it was cool. And in Tudacco. I think Tudacco. And that just doesn't line up with my memory of myself at all.

Like smoking cigarettes absolutely lines up with my memory of myself. By the way, don't chew tobacco or smoke cigarettes. Not cool. Neither are cool. That strategy. And also, like, it's just giving money to the worst people. So don't do it.

But anyway, I did chew tobacco when I was in high school. And then Sarah was like, and so then I was like, okay, I was in high school, life was weird, I contained multitudes, you know, whatever. And then Sarah was like, we were on a hike. And she was like, also, John Tudacco in his 20s. And I was like, oh, God. Now I have to reassess myself again. Yeah, it was very weird. And then for a while, you chewed Nicarrette like it was tobacco.

I mean, not for a while, for like six years. Yeah, which was all of looking for Alaska was written with Nicarrette inside of my cheek. Yeah, because you wouldn't just chew it, like you just held it in your mouth for a long time. Yeah, well, that's how you chew Nicarrette. That's how you knock that. That's how you use it. It's called, it's called, chew and park.

That is the instructions that I still remember from however many years ago. I'm so glad I never did nicotine. I, yeah, that, and the fact that, the fact that anyone could, I guess you did go to school in the South, but like the fact that anyone could think that is cool in the face of such overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Yeah.

What human is like, wow, that's attractive. I did think it was cool though. I know you did. Oh God. Yeah. Because I don't know, I always look back at that kid and I think of him as being, I don't know, like, earnest and sweet. And then I have all this evidence that in fact, he was a snarky little crap burger.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess I dwell on my modifications enough that I haven't turned on as them into myself and realized, like, I am a definitely, at least parts not a little crap burger. Yeah. Oh, no, no, just to be clear, during tobacco is not among my modifications. I reserve my modifications for things that are truly, truly cringe. Like, the thing about yourself that we've never been able to say on

the podcast for instance. And like that, I don't, I, like, I have no, that seems 100% like me. You agree with that, right? Oh, yeah. That's absolutely something I do. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It just is, just as faking an English accent for a year is 100% something you do. Like, that's, that's like so in character that like like it could be cringe, but still in character and that doesn't cause the same Like friction for me as when I look back at myself and I'm like, but that doesn't make any sense in the context of the story I tell myself about myself Yeah, which reminds me actually that today's podcast is brought to you by The story that John tells himself about himself.

It's a lie. Like almost every story. This podcast is also brought to you by the Pittsburgh Red Deacons. Was Philadelphia? No, it can't remember. And as far about it as the idea that Pittsburgh only has one high school. Yeah. Uh-huh.

And they have the one mascot for the one high school. Yeah. And they have the one mascot for the one high school. The other great thing about the red deacons is it's really not a good mascot. We could have chose anything. I could have chosen tockers. And now we're stuck with this. We could have chosen the blue tiger. I like that you chose something weird,

but you could have chose something good weird. I know. Like, manhole covers. Yeah, the manhole covers. It's too late now where the red Deacon's something we can do about it. Dang it. Ugh. I can't.

Yeah, you're right. I totally could have come up with something better. Like, I mean, literally anything would have been better, right? Like, I'm surrounded in this room by things that would have been better. The Pittsburgh lamps, the Pittsburgh microphone stands, the Pittsburgh windows laptops that are falling apart. The Pittsburgh dial out and do's. Oh my God, that's perfect. Yeah, but no, I only found, I only found the red Deacons. Today's podcast is also, of course, brought to you by the Pittsburgh Red Deacons Discord server, the Pittsburgh Red Deacons Discord server owned by a nine-year-old.

Uh, and also this podcast is brought to you by the second act of American Lives, the second act of American Lives. We're always coming back, trying it again. Give us one more shot, everybody. Bob Ross is back. He did it. What about you? I feel like Bob Ross is on a seventh act. Oh man, he just keeps coming back. Yeah. We also have a project for us a message from Megan who writes to 15 year old Megan, choose the college with the best autumn leaves.

The people will change your life and you'll literally have a band of brothers, you won't regret it. You're exactly where you're supposed to be even if you end up in Cleveland. Sorry. All your hard work, passion and dedication will be worth it. Just keep singing. Love 23 year old Megan. Yes, to any cute boys listening, she's single. Megan's energy. I want Megan's energy. Somebody get that. I do too. I loved everything about that project for us

in message. That's lovely, Megan. That's that's that's that's honestly that's the beginning of a great novel. Good. I love that. John, I have a question that I need to ask. That's very great, very weird and I don't know the answer. Okay. It's from Felicia. It's just such a good question. It's from Felicia. It's just such a good question. Dear Hangajan, imagine you are standing on a scale and next to you, there's a bucket of water on a different scale. What would happen if you put your hand into the water?

How would the weight on the different scales change? Is your hand now part of the weight in the water? So it's no longer part of your weight, help, I can't stop thinking about this best wishes thalisha. I can't really help, but someone out there must be able to, this is exactly the kind of BS physics word problem that would break my mind

and make me give up on an entire course of study, but I love it as long as I don't have to actually solve it. Wow. Because I think, I think, I think if you put your hand in a bucket, the bucket gets heavier and you get lighter. I think so, right? But I think so. Do.

But maybe not. Do you get lighter? Because do you, your hand, you can't have the bucket give heavier and you stay the same weight and you also can't, because like my inclination, which would really break the laws of physics, would be that both the bucket and you get heavier. Right. Yeah. No, definitely not that. Even even those of us who got decent physics knows it can't be that. Can't be that. And they can't both can't get. Do they stay the same?

It feels like like my gut says, oh, you, it just stays the same. But my, my brain says, no, something changed because there's, now there's more water in the bucket because your hand is full of water. Yeah. But I'm, but I'm holding up my hand with my arm. It's, it's going to drive me crazy. I need to see in our inbox next week a lot of pictures of people with their hands

and buckets standing on scales. Yeah. Well, I'm just trying to minimum five. I'm trying to think about it. Like it, I feel like it has to increase the weight of the bucket. But I just can't get my head around has to increase the weight of the bucket. But I just can't get my head around how it decreases the weight because your hand is floating now.

Oh yeah, but is your hand floating? Because it doesn't really float because your hand doesn't really float in water. But it's weight is being supported in the same way. Okay, so sometimes when I'm trying to figure this stuff out, Hank, what I do is I imagine a much larger situation. Okay, so like imagine a building.

Uh-huh, that has an arm. The buildings arm, as a hand. And that hand is in a gigantic bucket of water. I think this is great, John. This is a great job in a new question. If you respond to this, if I was, if I was, this is gonna, I. This is a great job interview question. If you respond to this, if I was, this is gonna, I really miss my colleague as a physicist.

I think if, if this is a job interview and I threw you this question and you gave me that response, I'd be like, hired. That's the kind of thing that we need. Giant building with an arm. And on that arm, I hand. And in that, in that hand, in a bucket. Now it's now you now

you see the difference. I'm like, so here's here's here's where I went. If I if you just take a bucket and you put a lemon in it, then that bucket weighs more, right? The lemon if it was just sitting on its scale, it would weigh a certain amount you put that lemon in that bucket It increases the mass of the situation. Yeah, so now you have a lemon man And he's got a lemon arm with a lemon hand We have the same problem though as long as the lemon is Lemon hand is connected to his lemon arm. I'm not, it's only because, it's only because the lemon is cut off from his lemon body that the lemon, but is it?

I don't know, I don't know. I also really, really good example of lateral thinking to be like, okay, forget about this. What if the person was just made out of lemons? That can't do that for me. Okay, no, actually, actually the lemon person is helping me. The lemon person is helping me. I think that the weight of the bucket increases by one lemon. And I think the weight of the women person has decreased by one lemon. Right? Right. John, the worst part of all of this is that we had a chance, we had a chance to have a mascot for dear Hank and John and the red deacons and not the lemon men. Oh God. I get

really picture this lemon person too. It's really very vivid. Yeah, mine too. Mine too. It's really good. It's and it would be hard to be a person made out of lemons. You know, you would get so many people. Is this, in your mind, is the lemon, is the his lemon head? Is it upright or is it sideways? Oh, he has many lemons inside of his head. In my mind. Oh, he's got a lot of lemon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In my mind, in my mind, he's just a person who's made out of regular sized lemons. I'm not imagining like extra large. He's a full sized lemon man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought he was made out of lemons, regular sized lemons, but in my head, he was small man. Oh, no, I was picturing a regular size person made out of lemons. Not like a tiny, not like a tiny lemon person.

I'm talking about like, you could meet and you would be able to shake hands and look each other in the eyes, except for the obvious reasons. But it's just gotta laugh. The main thing it makes me think about though, is that like the hardest thing about being a lemon person, I would imagine is the number of times per day

somebody makes when life's give you lemons joke, well, it would be unbearable, you know, like you'd have to, like, kind of carry around a card that says, like, yes, I know I have to make lemonade out of this situation. Thank you. Yeah. So much for your feedback. And then on the back, it just says, do not squeeze. Do not squeeze the lemon man. The lemon man. Three things you need to know about me. Yes, I've heard the lemonade joke.

Do not squeeze me. And last and most importantly, when I put my lemon hand what the water gets heavier. And the women man gets lighter. That's what happens. Those are the three things you need to know about what it's like to be. It's tiny little women part of me.

This little 11 piece is face now floating. And so a little bit of my weight is being support. I don't know. Somebody get a bucket. Oh my God. All right. All right. Yeah, good party. That was fun.

Yeah. John, do you have any news from AFC Wimble then for me? Do I have any news from AFC Wimble then Hank? Do I have any news? Yes. Oh my God. Hank. I have.

Is it good? I have fallen so, so deeply in love. When Sarah and I were engaged, we had to attend to this thing called the Catholic Engaged Encounter. I'm sure I've told you about it before. What is, yes, you have. I just loaded up the league one table, I'm sorry.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let me, hey, I got a preamble before we get to the league one table. Okay. Okay. And when we were in this Catholic engagement counter, one of the things that they told us that really stuck with us is that I got a preamble before we get to the league one day. Okay. Okay. And when we were in this Catholic engagement counter, one of the things that they told us that really stuck with us is that like relationships are cyclical and go through periods of romance,

disillusionment and content. And when you start to see things that way, it could become very helpful. Because like if you're in a period of discontent, like it means that you probably need to do some work. But it also, it isn become very helpful. Because like if you're in a period of discontent, like it means that you probably need to do some work, but it also, it isn't like fatal, it isn't like the end of everything, right? Like you can understand it as like part of a cycle. And so understanding that I think is critical, not just in relationships, but also in loving a football club. And for the last five seasons, as AFC Wimbledon has struggled season after season, narrowly escaping relegation in ever more miraculous and impossible ways,

there have definitely been periods where I have been a little disillusioned. We do not, we were not always playing beautiful football. I would often feel like the players didn't have a deep connection with the club. Sometimes even like the managers didn't have like a deep understanding of how special this club is to be owned by its fans, you know, and to me it's the greatest story in sports. And sometimes I would feel like the, you know, there's just the disconnect to there. And I would experience periods of dissolution. Now, of course, I understood that I still loved and always would love Wimbledon. But Hank, I never dared to dream that I would fall in love with a team this deeply again, that I would experience this profound, intense period of romance once more.

But Hank, as I was watching us play the Shrimps of Morkam this weekend, and no, that is not a made-up name. And we were down, we were down three, two, and there was like 20 minutes left in the game. I found myself thinking, I think that we are going to win this game. And we did. Will Nightingale, who is played for AFC Wimbledon since he was 11, scored a goal, his third goal of the season despite being a central defender. And then with essentially the last kick of the game, my hero, my number one Ayuba Saul, also a product of Wimbledon's youth academy scored and we won the game four to three. Mark Robinson hank, the manager of AFC Wimbledon right now.

Mark Robinson never coached a game of professional football until he was 53 years old. This is a guy who waited and waited and waited for his opportunity and he is taking it. He is leading this group of young players, most of whom are from the academy. Like they are kids who have played for Wimbledon since they were children, they were ball boys. For years and years and years and now they are playing

for the professional team. And he is what he is accomplished, what they are accomplishing together is it's incredible. It's borderline miraculous. AFC Wimbledon, seven games in to the league one season are in fourth place. That's very weird. And also a lot of the teams that you're beating are good. A lot of the teams that we're beating are good. And we are winning these games again and again and again by coming from behind. Like against against Bolton, we were three one down, we came back to tie the game at three three against. The third in the league. I know against Ipswich town. We were down and came back to tie it. It's this is it's just some switched down as is third to last in the league.

I know. Well, it's a weird season, but it's just it's incredible what's happening right now. I know, of course, it probably can't last, but it's not just the fact that we, you know, have 12 points after seven games. And like, forget about the fact that we're in fourth place and currently in a playoff spot. We are also, more importantly, for me, eight points off the relegation zone. So, yeah, that's a good head start.

And, and it's not, but it's not just the results. It's also the way we're playing. There is so much passion. It is such a joy to watch. Like a Ubisoft loves to play football. These guys love playing with each other. They love playing for Mark Robinson and, and you can feel that in every second of the game, it doesn't matter if we're winning or if we're losing. It is just an absolute joy to watch. I have never felt this way in all of my years following Wimbledon. It is incredible. It is special. What they are accomplishing together is really, really wonderful.

Long may it continue. I am overwhelmed. I'm in awe. And on September 22nd, we take on Arsenal in the knockout in EFL cup. And of course, we're going to lose that game. But maybe not. I mean, maybe what who knows? Maybe we won't lose that game. You tied Bolton. Yeah. So? This is this is special, though. This is this is something else I'm having the time of my life. And I just all and I think Playa is a big part of it. I think like having 9,000 fans in a sold out stadium week after week that you can play for in a beautiful new new new stadium. I think that matters. And it's just very special what Mark Robinson has accomplished.

And it's a reminder to all of us, you know, that, you know, you think if you haven't achieved a dream by a certain age that it's over, but Mark Robinson was coaching a kid's team, you know, nine months ago. team, you know, nine months ago. And now he is one of the most promising coaches in professional football. Wild, very exciting, very weird. Very exciting. Let's continue to go on this roller coaster, John. I'm sure it only goes up. I mean, I just, I just need to, I just want, as I said earlier in the season, Hank, I just want to play a few games where we're not at risk of relegation.

That's it. That's my goal for this season. Finish 16th. John, you always start your news with like personal epic. So I have a child and my child, one of his favorite things to do is to pick up rocks. And you know who else loves to pick up rocks. It's the perseverance rover who has successfully collected some rocks. Is that good? That's good. That's very good. I liked that. Okay. Thanks.

Um, so we talked a little bit about how it tried to pick up a sample before, but the rock just crumbled into little bits. I remember. And get it into the tube. But it has successfully gone to a sturdier rock and it is collected and stored samples two times. Yes! There's some rocks in those tubes. There's rocks in those tubes. So the rocks that, so that they've been a little assess a little bit, they suggest that it's made of basalt,

and it might have been part of an ancient lava flow. This is great news because volcanic rocks are very good at preserving their age, which means that scientists will probably be able to date it when they are able to look more closely at the rock, which theoretically could be returned by a sample and collect mission. The rock also has salts in it, which likely come from the rock interacting with water. And the presence of those salts means that there could have been groundwater going through the subsurface of the planet and creating little pockets of habitable environments inside of that rock. Whether or not the rocks actually contain signs of life, that's going to take us a long

time to find out. But for now, VersaVerence is going to collect some more rocks and pack it to them and sealed titanium tubes for that future mission to take back home to Earth. But the fact that we can now dig in store samples is very cool, very big, very exciting, especially given that we weren't, did not succeed the first time that we tried. Yeah, that's really exciting. And so they're able, even without, I mean, obviously we could do more science on them if they were here, but they're able to figure out a lot about them just from observing them, observing the way they break up. And so on. Well, they've also got like, they've got, they've got tools that they can shine at it.

They've got their little spectrometer spectroscopy things spectrometers. Yeah. Things that measure spectra. That's cool. I mean, yeah. In some ways, isn't measuring spectra like a huge percentage of how we figure out what everything is made of, including the universe. Yes. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's basically the only tool we have when it comes to things that are far away. Yeah. That's really awesome. Well, congratulations to NASA on getting getting figuring out some stuff about those rocks. Awesome. Well, congratulations to Nasson getting getting figuring out some stuff about those rocks. Woo-woo. Yeah. Another thing about AFC Wimbledon before we go, I tell you, I've been a period of romance Hank. So, like, it's all I can think about and talk about. Um, Sarah and the kids are real tired of hearing me talk about Mark Robinson and Iupassal. I think we just like remember, like, our leading score,

Joe Pigett left the team and everybody's like, oh, God, where are the goals going to come from? Who's going to score the goals? You know the answer to that question? Hey, do you know who people have scored a goal for AFC Wimbledon this season? 12. The goals are going to come from everyone. Everyone is going to score goals. And AFC Wimbledon, this is mind blowing.

So just get ready. AFC Wimbledon have scored more goals this season than any team anywhere in the top four divisions of English soccer. That's very weird. We are fun to watch. Get yourself an eye follow video pass and follow along three o'clock England time every Saturday. Just two hours of unadulterated joy. As they call it, England time. I believe, as it is called, yeah, isn't that what it's called, sweet sweet, sweet, England Daylight Time EDT.

All right, John, we're off to go record our Patreon only podcast this weekend stuff where we talk about things that are Ideally making us happy. I think the John's gonna maybe Look at the last weekend in life and think boy. Yeah, I can really pick out the good parts of this But we will we will have had a rough one but wimble than one. Yeah, there's that and We will. God, how to rough one, but Wimbledon won. Where it is. Yeah, there's that. And thank you everybody for sending your questions in.

What would we do without you? Please, anybody who can figure out anything to do with lemons and lemon men and hands and buckets and scales and water, please, I'm so curious. This sounds like a great physics word problem that I want someone to solve. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tune of Medicetsch. It's produced by Rosie on a Huls-Rohas. Our communication score

inator is Julia Bloom. Our editorial assistant is Deboki Trocrovardi. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. you