Dear Hank & John - 319: The Bug & Shrimp Wordle Hour

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

What would happen if we carbonated the ocean? Were you excited to talk at the doomsday clock conference? How do I be less competitive? Is the Library of Congress an actual library? What does "heard through the grapevine" come from? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or as I prefer to think of it, dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers argue, answer your questions, give you to be surprised, and bring you all the weeks to do so both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. We were arguing just before we started recording, but about the silliest thing. Dude, it's...

If John wouldn't shut up, I wanted to start the podcast, and he was like, let me tell you this great story. I'm like, why not do it when the trolling? Anyway, John, when I lived in St. Petersburg, there was this great restaurant. It was called Pelican Jim. It was run by a Pelican named Jim. And I loved going to Pelican Jim, but I hardly ever went because every time you left, they hit you with a huge bill.

Now that is a good version of the huge bill joke. I know I've been working on a good, good huge bill joke for a while. I've heard a lot of bad huge bill jokes, along that same lines like, yeah, I went to a restaurant and it was run by a Pelican, but the problem was the huge bill. Yeah. And that's like almost there. Because then like you're just being mean to a pelican. Like you can't. Yeah. It feels a little bit judgmental toward pelicans.

I don't want to be mean to the pelican. Yeah. Also like if you have if your waiter is a pelican, that's a problem because then you that you can't blame the waiter for being a pelican. Right. But if the owner of the restaurant is a pelican, and it's about the being expensive, and then, and, and,

and pelican Jim always hits you. But this is not great. That's true. Now pelican Jim is a justifiable villain because it's not the fact that he has a huge bill. That's the issue. It's the fact that he uses it to a show. So, yeah. Yeah, he thinks he's just like smacking you on the back like a friend, but it's like,

oh, that actually hurts. Like we all have that friend, right? Yeah. Who gives the handshakes or hugs that are a little too hard. I think I am now, friend. Too much, too much. Yeah. Before we get to all the questions from our listeners, which were wonderful and I'm excited to answer all of them. Yeah, I need to ask you about

Wordal. I did my first wordal yesterday and I'm kind of excited to do my next wordal today. How did it go? I got it in four, but the first one I didn't get any letters. I always am kind of excited when I don't get any letters in my first one. I always feel like, oh, I thought of a word that they don't even know about. Which is a true, of course. I know.

It should tell I feel. But yeah, you do get something from that. You get less, but you get something. You get something. All right. Do you wanna do wordle together? I wanna do a wordle with my brother. No.

That makes me feel really loved. And what is your starting wordle word usually? Should we go back and forth? Okay, let's go back and forth. I like to start. Now, I know that this isn't like the technical way to start. I know all of the theories. M-A-G.

I personally like to start with a word that I have not used before as my first word. Oh, okay. So I was mixing on the way over here that I would like to use as my first word, Perl P-E-A-R-L as in the... That's a good one. Yeah, so I'm gonna do that and I gotta... The earring.

I'll tell you what, I got one letter. I got the L, I got a yellow L. I got a yellow L. I got a yellow L. The yellow L. There's no pearls. No pearls, no pearls. Okay, but you can still use an S on the end

if you're looking for information. Right, right, right. So what would I go with with just L and I can't use pair? You know that, so you know there's an iron, over you and the word probably. Exactly, so Luigi. That's not good. That's not good.

That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good.

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That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. I love him, but he's a bit of a Luigi. Exactly. Who's the Luigi of the Green Brothers? Don't answer that question. Don't answer. We don't want to know. I'm going to go with lions, John.

Okay, so Hank's going to go with lions. I got L.I. All right, so now we've got L.I. All right, I am gonna go with livid as in angry. Okay, no. That didn't have nothing. Oh, nothing, that got you nothing. That was a miss. That was a huge miss.

Oh, no. Oh, no, now we're in trouble. We'll, so, well, so Wal-Hake is thinking of his next word, I just want to tell the rules of world to anybody who might not have been on the internet in the last three weeks, it is a word game where you start out by guessing one five letter word and then you only have six tries to guess the word all and Hank and I have now done three of our six tries. And all we know for sure is that the five letter word starts L-I. John, I'm gonna go with light, L-I-G-H-T.

I like that word a lot. It's a word! Oh! Ah! What a good word, Hank. Yay! Woohoo! Organs, brother, he's so impressive.

Oh, thanks, John. Do you think we could have a podcast where we'd just do wordles together? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, That's how we should start this weekend stuff. Yes. Yes. That's a great idea. We'll do it on our Patreon only podcast this weekend stuff at patreon.com slash deer hank and john. We'll do the wordle every week, whatever the wordle that day is. It's a great idea. I love it.

Yeah. And then it comes out way later than, then, you know, so we'll be doing it for anyone. Those boilers. Yeah. Oh, I love it. All right. It's just the pleasure of watching Hank and John puzzle through five quarter words together. Everybody's dream.

We've got a bunch of questions from our listeners and I want to get to some of them. This first one comes from Mariah who asks, dear Hank and John, I was just making myself some sparkling water with caffeine, pomegranate lemonade powder. And I was wondering, what would happen if we tried to carbonate the ocean? Soda streams and starfish, Mariah, first of all, first of all, tell me about this awesome caffeine powder. Where do I get, like, how do I not know about this?

Yeah, it seems like a dangerous game. It doesn't write up my alley. I don't really, I don't want caffeine powder. That makes me nervous. Well, you can control it. This is the thing I don't like about most Most ways you get caffeine is you get the amount that they decide you want, not the amount that I want. Okay. All right. I think it's, well, I think you can probably Google it, Hank, but what would happen if we tried to carbonate the ocean? This is not

totally unlike the question at the center of Kurt Vonnegut's classic novel, Cat's Cradle, where somebody accidentally turns the oceans into ice, which turns out to have a pretty negative effect on things. Right. Well, also the whole, like everything. Yeah. So definitely, definitely an end to the whole experiment. So this would, you know, it might be an end

to the whole experiment. Really? Maybe not, but maybe. Yeah. So there'd be, there'd be a positive and a negative to caffeinate, caffeinating the oceans. I feel like it's the carbonating the oceans that would really be the difference. The caffeinating the oceans could just be good, right? Like that's a no downside there.

Just a way. Just pour some caffeine in the Atlantic Ocean and see what happens to the fish. So if you took all, so we have too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. So you could put it into the oceans and then it wouldn't be in the atmosphere anymore and global warming would be fixed. So there's that. But what is currently happening is that is happening to some extent. So as the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere goes up, more of it dissolves into the ocean naturally. It's just a concentration gradient thing.

And that has been bad already and may continue to be much worse for marine ecosystems because CO2 in water creates carbonic acid, which increases the pH of the water or decreases the pH of the water. acid, which increases the pH of the water or decreases the pH of the water, and makes it harder for different organisms to survive. Corals, forearms, a bunch of different things that are really important to marine ecosystems. And so if we carbonated the oceans, we would run out of CO2 in our atmosphere, or we could take it down to whatever level we wanted to. The ocean would be a little bit bubbly. It would become super acidic. That would kill a lot of the marine ecosystem. And then the CO2 would naturally bubble

back out the way that happens with a flat soda. And then the global warming would come back, but with a decimated ocean. Okay. Well, so I'm going to call that one a non starter, but seems like it would be bad. I'm not an expert. That's what I would hate that personally. I don't know how fast, like it might be that the carbon dioxide would just bubble out so fast that most things would be fine. So it would, but it would be a great deal of work to make it happen. One of the first things I actually ever wrote for my blog, EcoGeek, which was one of the first content things I did on the internet, was a story about how many two liter bottles

of Coca-Cola we would need to just bury or throw into the ocean in order to fix global warming turns out a lot. But there is a number. There is a number. It's less than infinity. Well, that's fascinating, Hank. Here's a question from Joshua who writes, dear John and Hank, after your video about hope in the face of doom, I watched the 2022 Doomsday Clock announcement and I found it very informative on world issues and I really appreciated your comments on what we can and should do to help

the world today. I do have to ask though, Hank, since you're a long time climate communicator and nerd, just how hyped were you to get invited to present at the 75th anniversary of the Doomsday Clock, TikToks and Doomsday Clock, Joshua. And for those who don't know, the Doomsday Clock has been around for 75 years now, and it's a way that scientists have of kind of getting attention once a year around the issues that are of existential concern to us from nuclear proliferation to climate change. Hank was invited to be the keynote speaker, basically, at the 75th anniversary announcement of the Doomsday Clock, who was very, very cool, and I was super proud of you. How did you feel?

Uh, so this was weird. You know how I found out I was invited to be the keynote speaker presenter of the Doomsday clock 75th anniversary? I'm going to guess it was mom because it usually is. It was mom. Yeah. It was, I got an email from mom. Yeah.

Yeah. I get a lot of news about my career from mom. Yeah. I was like, is this really, is this what's happening? Because it seemed a little weird that it would come through mom And that they wouldn't find me some other way, but yeah, that somebody knew my somebody knew good old Sydney green and I was like this is the doomsday clock and they would like me to do the thing and and

And I you know as with everything in my life. I was like, can I even do this? Like, can I fit this in? Because it wasn't just an hour of presenting. I wanted to take it seriously into a good job of it. And I would take a lot of time, and it was like weekend time that I spent on it. So I wanted to make sure that I, like, could. And then I figured, I had to figure out how to make it work, basically. So I say, I know it almost everything,

but I was, yeah, I felt really amazing. And also it was, it was a thing that I knew I had to do a good job of. And then I knew that if I tried hard enough, I probably could. So I think green confidence. I also wanted it, wanted to take on because I wasn't going to do a bad job of it. Right.

Right. That would be, I was going to force myself to do a good job, basically. Yeah, I thought you did a great job. I thought it was a beautiful speech. All right, I think we have another question fromonymous, who writes, dear John and Hank, I am extremely competitive, and I love to win, and I am in eighth grade, and I have PE every day. This is a great first sentence, Anonymous.

Ah! This is well-constructed. Many kids in my PE class call me a PE tri-hard. In case you are unfamiliar with this term, it means that you are trying too hard at something that doesn't matter much. I feel like doesn't it also apply to trying really hard at things that do matter?

Like that's the thing about being a try hard that I find so confusing. Like people will say like, oh, that person's such a try hard about their education. And I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, continue. Okay. I've got thoughts.

How should I deal with this? I don't like being told this, but I do like to be competitive and do my best in all the sports I play, even if they're just at PE. How can I just try to have fun while playing sports instead of competing in everything? It's January, so that should tell everyone how long it takes Hank and John to answer a question anonymous hard, not that long, anonymous January, so that should tell everyone how long it takes Hank and John to answer a question anonymous hard-vark. Not that long, anonymous hard-vark.

Not that long. It's February now. It could have been January 31st. And then maybe it only took us a next day. We'll be able to do the next day. Oh gosh. So first of all, the, there are, there are things that I think

that anonymous art work can worry about here, but I think that the try hard thing in particular is not one of them. To me, what try hard, what that word says, and I could be wrong, there may be many contexts in which it is used. But I think that it means I would be embarrassed to try that hard.

Yes. It is cringey to care that much. Yes. And that is about them, not you, don't kill the part of you that is cringey, kill the part of you that cringes because we should enjoy our lives. Yes.

However, there may also be a component of this that is just the vibe of the PE class, the sort of cultural expectation, is to go at 75 to 80% max. And going at 100% is just sort of not the cultural expectation. And so you are defying a cultural expectation. And people's reaction to that is to either see it as embarrassing or just even annoying because it's like, can we just bring it down a notch? I got up at 515 in the morning today because because this when the bus comes to pick you up. And I do think that there is potentially an element of needing to understand that it's okay not to win.

Yeah. That can be part of coming across as a sore winner sometimes is needing to win every time or needing to feel like you did everything that you could to win. And if it isn't very important to everyone else, like there can be a little bit of a disconnection because everyone else is like, it doesn't really matter who wins at four square and you're like slamming the ball in somebody's face

and saying, I did it, I did it. You all are the worst and I am the four square champion of the world. I get the feeling that you're probably not doing that though. And I agree with Hank that it is really important to hold on to your enthusiasm. I was talking to a friend of Henry's recently, actually like the older brother of one of his friends. And he was like, you know, he plays soccer and he was like, I'm all of my friends say that I'm a real sweat when it comes to soccer. And I was like, what does that mean?

And he was like, it means that I sweat a lot. And I was like, like you just have like hyperhydrosis and he was like, no, I try really hard. And so I sweat a lot because I'm always working. And I was like, and that's not a compliment. And I feel like that's what you wanted a teammate is a teammate who does a lot of running and tries to open up space for you and never gives up.

Like I feel like that's a good teammate. Yeah. But maybe there is something a little embarrassing or a little bit cringey about it. And you do wanna be a good, the thing that you want to be in a PE class is you want to be a good teammate. And that means not only the people who are on your team, it means all the people who are in your class, like you want to be fostering or helping to foster a good vibe in PE class. Yeah.

And that is about being aware of. Yeah. And you know, there's a push, at least when I was a kid, to not care what anybody else thought. But there is also a piece of it that is like, well, they're like being aware of how people experience things and making room for room in yourself

for how they experience things is also important. You know? Yeah. It's never easy, John. No, especially not middle school PE class. I mean, I would say more than a half of my worst memories involve middle school PE class. Do you remember what we were at?

There were so's of visceral ones, that's for sure. Do you remember at Glen Ridge middle school? Do you remember the gym shorts? They were like, oh, they're so small. They were so small and they were sent to you by some company and you didn't, if you didn't like your size too bad and they were like, they were so tight and they were so small, they like barely covered my butt cheeks. And I just, I have my god. I, yes, I like, I remember.

And, and like, also they were like, gapy. So like, sat down here, it was like here's everyone's underwear. Yes. Oh, it was just terrible. It was awful. It was and I remember being on the tennis court at Glenridge Middle School, the sun shining down at 170 million degrees in Orlando, September, and a kid like just, just if this rating me like. Yeah.

And I remember him saying to me, we need to think of a nickname for you. And I may have told this before on the pod, I volunteered the nickname shrimp because I was like, that's good as it's gonna be. You know, that's the best case scenario. Oh, God. So anyway, the main thing to do in middle school is get through it. I have a very similar story to that. That's weird. I'm trying to picture the room that it was in.

I was Glen Ridge. At Glen Ridge Middle School, at summer camp, I was called Bug in a nice way that everybody was fun about it. And it was like, and then when I was in school, I volunteered that information. And then suddenly that same nickname was really mean. And I was like, how did,

like it was instructive at least, that like a nickname can be both extremely inclusive and like a way of bringing you into something. And it can also be exactly the opposite as a way of excluding you from stuff. And it can even if it is the exact same word. Right. Right. That, it's weird that you were shrimp and I was bug.

Look at us. Language is so, it just reminds you that language is so context dependent, you know, and those nicknames that you get from your friends feel so good and you feel seen and loved. And even if the nickname is a little bit perjordive, if it's the right person, it doesn't feel in any way cruel. And then that same word in a different context coming out of a different person's mouth can just be devastating. Yeah.

Which reminds me, John, that this podcast is brought to you by the Arthra Pod Brothers, Haken John Green, Shrimp and Bug. He's a sea bug. I'm a land bug. We're the bug boys. You can call us that because our egos are strong now. Actually, I'm worried. I'm not excited.

I'm not good at it. My your ego is strong. You can call the Haken bug, I guess. But please do not call me shrimp. It's funny. You say that. What about that? Because you know, like the words that were used to make fun of me in elementary school, it wasn't even, it's not a good nickname, but they called me Johnny Boy. Oh, interesting. And it just ripped me up every time. I hated it. I just, it just reminded me that I was in, I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me at school, like no physical

control, no emotional control, like it was, and I couldn't even pick my name, you know? And recently I saw a tick.com, where somebody called me Johnny Boy and I got so activated, like my, and it was actually a really nice comment. I read paper towns at the perfect time in my life. It made a big difference. So thanks, Johnny Boy and I was like, I hate you. Sorry, what was your comment? All right, John, can you continue with our sponsors? No, this is a therapy session. Hank, not a podcast. Today's podcast is also, of course, brought to you by the carbonated ocean, the carbonated ocean. I mean, it's a delicious lacro ocean. It's just also the last mistake we'll ever make. This podcast is also brought to you by

the pants that were sent to the students of Glenridge Middle School, not good. No, no, they were like 45 inches in diameter, but only two inches in length. And of course today's podcast is brought to you by Hank and John's exciting new secret Patreon podcast this weekend, Wordal and other things. Our, somebody named it for us. Brodle, brodle, brodle.

We green-dle. We're geniuses at naming. We also have a project for us. The bug brother is wordle. No, don't make us the bug brother's please. Please, please don't do that to us. We also have a project for us please don't do that to us. We also have a project for us a message from Edwin to Lauren. Wow, what a week, am I right?

I have no idea what to write here. So I just wanted to give you an embarrassing piece of PDA. I love you very much and 2020 proved it even more. I kept falling in love over and over as we picked up our pandemic hobbies one after another. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Well, that's lovely. I wish you all the best. Yeah.

I'm sure that you wrote that thinking this will be fun to hear when the pandemic is over. Jokes on you, bud. This next question comes from Rob who asks, dear Hank and John, I'm 40 years old and a little embarrassed that I don't know this, but is the library of Congress a library? Like, could I go check out an absolutely remarkable thing or the Anthropocene reviewed? Are the members of Congress reading Harry Potter

when they should be balancing the budget, literature and laws, Rob? Yes, it is a library, but it is not a library you can check out books from. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, you have to do the reading there. You got to, it's, it's what's called a reference library where you can go look at a book, but don't you dare take it away because we, we don't trust you. And anyone, it is technically the library of Congress. So it is the library that is there to serve Congress. However, anyone can use the library of Congress as long as you

are 16 years or older. So 15 and a half, not allowed. Get out of this building. You cannot have any of our, we do not trust you. You can't drive a car. You can't look at this book. Can't you make photo copies, though? I don't know. I think it was not, that makes sense that you could. So the reason I think you can make photo copies is that I think that's how our grandfather finally found a copy of his brother's novel was at the Library of Congress and he couldn't take it out. So when he did, was he photocopied every spread and took that home, I think. I don't know. Maybe he broke the law, but he's dead now and the statute of limitations is passed anyway.

So don't try to come for us, Library of Congress. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty cool. And the idea is that like basically everything is there. Yeah. Which is difficult because it is a finite building. But they have found ways to pack a lot of information into it. However, I think at this point, not everything that is published in the US makes

its way physically into the Library of Congress anymore. And they are transitioning to systems that will allow them to have all of the stuff, but not all of the stuff physically. I met the Librarian of Congress once. That's also a cool thing about the Library of Congress. There's a Librarian of Congress. I think they have to be a presidential appointment. Yeah, they're appointed by the president and they have to be like approved by the Congress and everything. Yeah. The current Librarian of Congress is actually, as you would expect, probably one of the coolest Librarians in America. Her name is Carla Hayden and she's just a awesome, awesome leader in the library world. So yeah, pretty cool. It was very cool to meet the librarian of Congress. For me, it was about equivalent to meeting like the vice president, you know? Sure,

depending on the vice president. Yeah, there have been 14 librarians of Congress since 1802. So yeah, no, it's a one term gig. So Hank, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC, well, then I want to ask you this question because I do not know the answer. Madeline writes, dear John and Hank, I was walking around campus. I attend Ball State University with my boyfriend yesterday. And while chatting about something I can no longer remember, I use the phrase heard with my boyfriend yesterday. And while chatting about something, I can no longer remember, I use the phrase, heard through the grapevine.

And for the first time in my 20 years of life, I noticed just how odd that phrase is. Where did it come from? What does it mean? Are all grapevines omniscient? Can I put my ear to a grapevine and hear watered down versions of the secrets and stories of the universe? Grapes are tattling and I am Madeline.

That is excellent name specifics. Wow. Wow. question specific and name specific. I feel like you should potentially get a bachelor's degree from Ball State just for that sign off. John, so the grapevine, John, there is a thing that is in all of our worlds that looks like a grapevine, but is just very much bigger. And we don't think of them that much because of how they've been around for our whole lives, but for people in the past, they were new, and they were very advanced,

and they were bleeding edge technology, and they popped up all around the country, and they had a very, to them, grapevine look, of what a currently existing thing that they could compare them to was a grapevine look of what a currently existing thing that they could compare them to was a grapevine. Do you know what that thing is? Was it the telephode? It was telegraph wires.

Telegraph. Okay. Telegraph wires and also subsequently telephone wires okay. Looked like kind of grapevine because that was the closest you could get to it, just a bunch of poles with things slung between them. And the way that this spread around and where exactly it came from is unclear as it so often is. Yeah. And there is even a competing theory that there was a bar called the grapevine where union

soldiers would meet with Confederate or with their spies. So spies from the Confederacy. And that maybe that was it, but it seems to be the less, significantly less likely of the two. And there are also in other countries there are similar sayings about telegraph wires. similar sayings about telegraph wires and the transition from telegraph things and gossip just like people talking to each other things. So it seems like that the grapevine was a way of sort of saying like the telegraph looks like a grapevine and but this is like the, then the sort of old school version of that new fangled thing is oscacoping. I like that a lot. Now I will use that phrase a little more often, I think.

Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make any sense to us anymore because us at telephone wire looks like a telephone wire but it's fun to have those moments where you can put yourself in the bind of a person who is like, look at all of these new things that are suddenly everywhere. And that a huge amount of resources are going to create it. I know people who are involved in that, I know who worked for that company, and now it's just normal infrastructure that we never think about. Yeah.

Can I tell you my all-time favorite telegram? In the 1930s, the journalist Robert Benchley was working for the New Yorker, and he was dispatched to Venice, Italy, to write a story. And he arrived, and the moment he arrived, he sent a telegram to his editor back at the New Yorker that read, streets full of water, please advise. Pring!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Oh, yeah. There's a bunch of good ones though. The telegram became its own little art form, you know, like Dorothy Parker was a master of telegrams. So I don't have to be a master of telegrams, John. Instead, I have to be an amateur at tweets. Yes, it's true. And I'm sure that someday people will look back on tweets with the same sort of fuzzy eyed nostalgia that we currently look back on telegrams. But I just want to tell this people of the distant future. I can't speak to about telegrams, but Twitter sucked.

I think about this all the time. How we imagine that people will look back on our moment as awful as we imagine it to be while we're here. But I think that they're going to think that it was cute and revolutionary and full of culture that they think is fun and they will, we will just forget all of the terrible as long as we are there to forget it. That is mostly what we do. Johnny, you have news from A.F. Swamilton for me. I have, I have a lot of news. So today, as we are recording this is actually the transfer deadline day, the last day that

you can sign new players and you'll recall that Ryan Reynolds bought our striker. Yes. Pretty frustrating situation, but it is what it is. In terms of results, we have had some mediocre ones. We tied Shrews Berry 1-1, Ayubis All-Score to goal, which was great, but then we gave up a goal in the second half in the most annoying way possible. Before that, we had a 2-0 loss to Ipswich Town, where we were completely paid off the pitch. Basically, we've been drawing or losing all of our games,

going back to forever ago. Like, I don't think we want a game in December or January. Oh, wait, no, we want a game in early December. So it's been a bad run of results, which is why all A and C Wimbledon fans everywhere have been like, okay, so who are we gonna sign that is gonna score goals? So you have this money? This is useful.

Four minutes ago, AFC Whippledons official Twitter account tweeted, going for a late night drive. Anyone want to come to question mark, but to was spelled T-W-O. Now, what does it mean? What does it mean? Are they doing an arc? What's happening? Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha. Now, we have also signed a striker. His name is Sam Cosgrove. Now, we have also signed a striker. His name is Sam Cosgrove. I'm not totally sold, but I've been wrong before. He does look like a large person, which is key. We've talked about this before. We have a Ubisoft.

He's small. We need a large one. It seems that Sam Cosgrove maybe fits that bill. So we'll see maybe he is the future of our club. But in the meantime, I'm very curious about this, the apparent two players that we're going to sign literally in the next hour because it's about to be midnight in England for a late night drive. Anyone want to next hour because it's about to be midnight. In England. Going for a late night drive.

Anyone want to come to and it's the Mimams Carvine. Yes, it's the Mimams Carvine, which it's great to see AFC Goomen and over the logo. It's great to see AFC Will then really stepping up their meme game, something that's been woefully lacking from their social media presence in the past. Well, and they've really, yes,

they're very current with their memes. Yes. You know, the Mleemons car vine, which is from only seven years ago. You know what, though, Hank? I don't really want my football club to be that good at memes. No, I agree. It is actually a bad sign.

Exactly. Yeah. So we'll see. I guess I'll have more Nathan Brom. Everybody's got, everybody's got Brom guesses. Because she says, broom, broom in the video. Yeah, I don't think. Do you know who any of those people are?

Do I know who Nathan Brom is? I mean, yeah. Is he know who any of those people are? Do I know who Nathan Brum is? I mean, yeah. Is he the VP of sales at SMB? No. That's what my Google says. No. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it is.

Maybe we are signing a goalkeeper in the last five minutes of the transfer window. I, it's not impossible. I mean, who am I kidding? I have no idea what we're going to do in the next 45 minutes. What's going on in Mars news? I love that people are looking into looking like looking so far into the particular vine. Yeah, yeah, I think that might be like an overread of the meme. Yeah. But if it's not credit to AFC Wimbledon's meme team for digging real deep into the broom, broom means. What is it?

Maybe we'll sign two players name broom. If we sign two players name out the room, and that was hinted at by a meme of somebody seven years ago saying broom, broom, then a hundred points to AFC with a meme team. There's no way we can get relegated with that high quality meme discourse. Well, in Mars News, John. So there are these weird tracks on Mars

that we have been taking pictures of and seeing with the high rise experiment. So there's an instrument on the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter and they have been spouting all of these boulder tracks. They found 4,500 of them, which are basically boulders falling down slopes and they make a very particular pattern, quite lovely.

And the idea is that is being positive, is that this is caused by Mars quakes. So active geology, this is not really anything that could like dislodge something this large or this often. And you can see these sort of individual boulders that got dislodged. So like wind.

And you can also. Wind wouldn't do it. Wind would wind wouldn't do it. Yeah. Wind would probably wouldn't do it. So one thing that people think oftentimes is that wind is very strong on Mars. Wind is very fast on Mars, but it is not strong because it isn't very many actual molecules. As you know, force equals mass times acceleration. So the deceleration of those molecules hitting something is more deceleration because it's going faster, but it's less force because it's much less mass actually running into stuff. So it would be unlikely for all of these things to be caused

by wind. And that's giving us an idea also because you can see the areas on Mars where it is more likely to happen, it gives you an idea of where are the most over a long period of time, where are the most seismically active areas of Mars. And that tells us more about the planet. And it gives us a broader understanding of the geologic activity of Mars, which it seems to still be fairly geologically active, though, net, not tectonically in the way that Earth is. So, it's static shell, does not have plates that move around, but it seems to have a pretty significant goings on on the inside, at least over a long period of time.

I was going to say it has a significant motion to the ocean, but that would have been potentially misleading. Yeah, don't want to confuse people that there may be an ocean on Mars. Yeah, but it is really cool how they are using little pieces of information to make inferences about how it's all working. This is something I really love about science, how you can do that, and then you have to find more information that's unrelated to that first piece of information that would confirm or further indicate the possibility of this resulting from Mars Quakes. I just think

that's such a cool thing that science does when it's working. Yeah, yeah, you can, you can, and we should try and find all, like all of the different ways that we can figure out stuff about the universe. We get these little, little clues, and then they lead to really robust understanding. Well, Hank, thank you for increasing my robust understanding and more importantly thank you for saying as you know before saying that force times mass equals acceleration because I did I did I did know that I did that equals MA I know exactly what that means. John you're making a podcast

with me folks if you want to send us questions, that's how we make the podcast. So you can send them to Dear Hank and John. Wait, no, to Hank and John, not Dear Hank and John. I bet whoever has DearHank and John at gmail.com has seen a lot of emails. I'm excited to hang in. It's too much.

And just Hank and John at gmail.com. That, because apparently even I get it wrong. We're off to record our patron-only podcast. This week in, we already did our world today, so we're not gonna do a word, but we will talk about stuff that we like this week. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Meticch. It's produced by Rosiana Halsey-Rohas.

Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom, our editorial assistant, Mr. Bokitra Kravardi. The music you're hearing now is by the Greek Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome.