Dear Hank & John - 323: Hoop Seated

Episode Date: March 14, 2022

What percentage of total stuff do we know about? What does "net zero carbon emissions" mean? Why does stove-heated soup taste better than microwaved soup? How do I maintain motivation consistency? How do I tell my boss I hate his football team? Is there a way to eat asparagus without your pee smelling weird? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hey, so before we start the podcast today, we want the podcast to be a place where you get a break and where you are okay, but we do want to say to the many listeners we've heard from who are not okay because they are living in a conflict zone or because they are living with sudden profound fear and insecurity in their lives that we are sorry and we hope that things get better soon. Yeah, thinking about you. Yes, we are thinking about you and those of us who pray are praying for you. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Of course I prefer to think of it dear John and Hank.

It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give me the means advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Lombardton. John, do you know why dad joke rhymes with bad joke? This is why. Because they both, because like dad and bad rhyme It's just lazy. It's just lazy. I just I expect a harder work You left I did laugh. I have to tell you I've been doing the stat joke that I'm really fond of yeah where instead of writing an emoji Like instead of typing an emoji. like instead of typing an emoji, I type the words laughing all crying.

Yeah, yeah, I do that too. I do that too. Or the words skull emoji. The words praise hands emojis. Yep. I do this because sometimes because it's too hard to find them. I'm like, I can go find that emoji, especially when it's in the faces,

all the family. I want this one specific face, and it's like, pick it out of this huge lineup of acres of yellow circles. I can't. I don't have that in me. You know, it's interesting you bring that up, Hank, because in the time of really big problems, I like to focus on really small problems.

The biggest problems that I can't find in emoji. I love the idea of going to the emoji people and saying, listen, we feel that there are too many of them. It's gone too far. There are too many faces that we can make. We need to go back to only having 10 to 12 facial expressions. Yeah, it's interesting. There's a lot of them I don't, there's a lot of them I don't use.

I would be curious to know which of the faces are the ones that are least used. And I'm sure that someone in somewhere has that data because they know everything about us, John. I, right. Here's, Valerie also pointed out something recently that is ridiculous about our phones. Do you have the situation where when your alarm clock

goes off on your phone, the snooze button is giant and orange and that just turning it off, which has gotta be the more common use case, is like a tiny little button? It's almost impossible to find, especially in the dark. It's super weird. Yeah. Like, do people snooze more than they stop? Maybe they do snooze more than they stop. So what inevitably happens is that you think you've turned off your alarm, you go about your

day. Yeah. We really are hitting the big issues. This is the real, the real problems that we face. You think you're going about your day and it turns out that you've only its snooze and your alarm goes off again when you're like in the car on the way to work. This is, these are the crises of our historical moment. It's a little hard for me to make the pod right now. I'm really happy to talk to you because we haven't spoken outside of the project for us in like a month because we've both been pretty busy. Yeah. It was just a pleasure to spend an hour with you, but gosh, I, um, yeah, we've got it. We are here to, what are we here for?

We're here to answer questions that give to be a advice. That reminds me Hank, our first question actually comes from a listener named Vlad who writes, dear Hank and John, should I quit? Yeah. And if by, should I quit? Yeah. And if by, should I quit, you didn't mean your job and you meant something else, still yes.

Yes. Okay, Hank, we're gonna go for a hard tonal shift now and we are gonna ask this question from Gabby who writes, dear John and Hank. What percentage of things do you think we have discovered? It's a real, it's a real tone shift. Yeah. Well, it depends on what you mean. If, like, you're talking about all nouns everywhere, it's definitely basically zero. Oh, I was going

to say, if you're talking about all nouns everywhere, it's basically a hundred percent because if we've got a word for it, we know what it is. Oh, well, what? Except for dark matter. The things that most of it. Most of it. First of all, there's lots of stuff that we have words for, but we don't know what they are. For example, like you, I know you exist. I know you call John.

You remain, even after all these years, somewhat of a mystery to me. But also, you don't, like, there's things that don't have names yet. And we don't, because we don't know what they are. Like, just rocks on other, like, also, there's lots of things that don't have names yet. And we don't, cause we don't know what they are. Like just rocks on other, like, also there's lots of things that don't have names at all. Like there's lots of rocks on earth that haven't been discovered yet, cause they're underground.

Are there elements we don't know about yet? Now we know about all the elements, which is really interesting. I could explain to you why we know that. But you're sure. Yeah, well, we know about all of the elements that can exist naturally. Yes. There may be some that we could discover.

There's this very sort of fringe idea that there is a, on the other side of a little plateau or an energy hill, there is an island of stability where an element could be created that would actually last maybe for more than a nanosecond. But it's a pretty fringe idea. And mostly when they say that, they mean that it might last milliseconds instead of nanoseconds. So there is certainly the possibility

that we will continue to make new elements that will exist for a short amount of time before they decompose into other elements. But there are none that are out there. That's a bigger leap because I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that there's going to be one named after me, but not you. Yeah, I mean, it's possible. I just think that would be amazing. You'd have to, if they named an element after the one who wasn't the science one, that would just be chef's kiss amazing for me. Well, you know what they, what you could do is sometimes they know after people, but they

often name it after like a university or a country. So you would need to found either a university or a country that would then go on to discover that element. So get started, John. I know that you're not busy. That seems likely. You know, it seems like I could found a university. I wouldn't put a past you to start a university, honestly. Like in your 60s, I think you could do that.

I could absolutely see that. I think of a job I would like less than founder of new university. Yeah, I don't know. That sounds not good. Also to get your name on the element, you'd have to call it like John Green University, which I might just go all the way, Hank, just go go real risky and call it John Greenium University. And the element is already named. It's just up to y'all to discover it. Forget it. I'm not funding a university. I'm just funding like a group of eight scientists.

I'm gonna spend my all the fault nurse stars money. Forget about this yearly own project. All the fault nurse stars money is going directly into not a university, just a vanity project to discover a new evidence. Well, I'll tell you what, John, that's gonna get you at least half a percent there. All that. All that. All those resources.

I'm going to have to solicit a lot of like public donations. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to try to have to get millions of people on board with this pure, unadulterated vanity project. Man, it's going to be, it would be a lot easier to get a microbe named after. If you want a microbe named after you, we could have that happen within a year. Oh, I do so badly, actually. That would be so cool. Are you kidding? That might be cooler than having an element named after you, having like, as somebody who

thinks a lot about microbes, it would be really cool if I could think about the microbe that was me, that was also a microbe. Maybe, and maybe you could even be infected by your own microbe. I love it. I love it. I love that. I love it up to a point.

And the point is, I don't want to get sick with my microbe. Yeah. Well, this is the great news, John. It's almost all small little critters on Earth are not human pathogens. And you could go ahead and put one, some of the asked once, what would happen if you ate a tartar grade and I was like, it would die like immediately. Because it, in order to do the thing where they, they're like really tough, they have to,

they have to have a little bit of time to prepare for it. So if you just got them into that stomach acid, I think that they just crack open pretty quick there. What percentage of things have we discovered? Oh, again, I think zero. I think that basically zero percent, it depends on your definition of thing. Like if you're talking about what percentage of

like how the universe works, have we discovered then I think that it is a double digit percentage. But if you talk about 18%. Yeah. Well, it could also be 80%. Like, this is the weird thing. I don't. It's at least 18%. I would agree with that.

I don't think it's 80%. We don't know, but I think that it's a manageable amount. Right. And then we do know what a lot of the matter in the universe is. So like if we think about it in that sort of, like what percentage of the stuff that we know what it is, not a huge percentage, but still more than zero.

Yeah, we know what that stuff is in terms of it's like, like we could have guesses about what element it is, but then like on an individual exoplanet, there's gonna be a lot of things. And we haven't discovered them. We don't know what the rocks look like. We don't know, we don't even know a lot where a lot of the rocks on Earth are, you know?

Yeah. Like you could find a rock for the first time to be like, I'm the first, I'm the discoverer of this rock. Yeah, we don't know what a lot of the rocks on Earth are. We don't know what a lot of the rocks on Mars are. We've never been to Jupiter. And all that would only represent like one 100 billionth of one 100 billionth of the known universe.

So we have a long way to go, which is I think encouraging. That's right. And then we're only talking about in a universe where we know everything. I just realized we're only talking about... We're only talking about... In a universe where we know everything. I just realized we're only talking about the universe as it currently exists because we also have not discovered and are not aware of how things were in the past, especially

on our planet, especially when it comes to society, like almost all of human history is lost, all of the things that those people sang about and believed and danced for, all the choreography from prehistory, it's gone. So, yeah. We don't really know with any certainty what the size of many pre-agricultural communities were. Like, we used to have these really strong guesses and then it turned out that maybe our guess

was one of the strongest we thought. We don't know almost everything, which I think is exciting. It's thrilling. We can figure new stuff out all the time. And if we lived in a universe where we knew everything, it would be boring and sad. Unlike the current world, which is interesting and sad. John, we've got another question.

This one comes from Rachel who asks, dear Hank and John, what exactly are companies and governments talking about when they say net zero carbon emissions? I get the concept of offsetting emissions, but how exactly are we doing that? How is this measured? I'm not an expert. It seems like maybe there's some cushion room in the data that allows companies to make these claims that aren't necessarily true. Also, how beneficial would net zero be?

I think people hear this and might think zero harmed at the planet. Is that accurate? Green, but I'm not on friends. Rachel. Hmm. That's Rachel Green was the character that Jennifer Aniston played on friends.

Yes, and Rachel is interested in the environment and so is Green. Right. Which also we are, But we are actually greens, very closely related to Rachel Green from Friends. John, do you want me to talk about how we measure carbon emissions for the next 30 minutes? I want you to answer the question

in less than 30 minutes, Hank. So there are a number of different goals that a company or a government could have. You can have net zero without offsets, you can have net zero with offsets. And both of those things are not as good as you can do. So net zero without offsets is better than net zero with offsets. So net zero with offsets would be saying we look at all of the energy that we consume that came from fossil fuels. We look at how much carbon dioxide that that produced into the atmosphere. We do our best to get a lot of it from

a new orable sources, but that stuff that did come from fossil fuels will offset that by, you know, doing carbon capture, or by funding projects elsewhere that capture carbon permanently through reforestation or something like that. And that's good because like all these things are good. I should start out by saying, all these things are better than doing nothing. You learn new ways to capture carbon that way. You create new markets for renewable energy and for carbon capture. So that's good. You're spending money to decrease the amount of carbon emissions in the atmosphere. The second thing is you say, we are going to produce all of like an equal amount of

kilowatts of renewable energy as what we consume. So if you consume 100 kilowatts of electricity this year and you produce 100 kilowatts of renewable electricity, you call that net zero, but it's not actually not relying on fossil fuels at all. Because almost definitely what you are doing is producing those 100 kilowatts during some portions of the day, but not all portions of the day. So you are selling some of the energy that you produce back to the grid. And then at night time when there isn't solar electricity being generated, you are still relying on fossil fuel powered energy.

So then you have a third thing that's called 24-7 net zero. And that means every hour of the day, you are not relying on fossil fuels. All of these things do different things. All of these things encourage different innovation. So if you are doing 24-7, you're innovating in battery, as well as in solar and other renewables.

If you are not doing 24-7, you're innovating in grid management and you're innovating. And If you are not doing 24, seven, you're innovating in grid management and you're innovating. And if you are also doing offsets then you're innovating in carbon capture. So all of these things do different things but they are all definitely better than not doing anything.

Right. Was that half an hour? I wasn't quite half an hour. So I appreciate your relative pith. But I think that's, but I think those are all really important points. It is better than nothing and it is not enough are those are going to be some of the catch phrases for the next 10 years. We have to do what we can do now and we also have to push to do much more.

Yeah. and we also have to push to do much more. Yeah, and I mean, I should say that 24-7 carbonless energy wasn't for a large-scale operation. You could obviously do this if you had an off-grid home or something. But that's a goal that a lot of bigger, specifically tech companies have now, and it was not like five years ago, it was not something you could even aspire to. The technology did not exist to have it even be possible. So as a person who's been concerned about climate change for decades now, I, I am maybe a little bit more hopeful than I used to be because I've seen that change can happen. And I've seen that technology has been pushing the envelope on what's possible. Obviously, I'm still very worried. So like an increase in optimism

is not necessarily optimism. Right. We have to accelerate the speed of change. And the fact that it has accelerated over the last five years does not mean that it will accelerate fast enough over the next 10 years. And so that's that has to be a shared human goal for us. And I think that's true on a family level. If you can become a zero carbon family, if you can, but I, but it's obviously most true on an institutional level, the level of corporations, the level of governments. Yeah, we have to accelerate the change. So, thanks for explaining that to us. You got it.

You're the reason I got solar panels hank. It wasn't enough, but it is helping. And now we are figuring out what we can do to get to that 24-7 no-carbon space. Yeah. get to that 24, 7, no carbon space. Yeah, and I mean, it's acting as if the problem is big and real and it's also encouraging the creation of new technologies that are really moving fast and having big impacts. Yeah, I love our solar panels. They make me really happy.

I like my day. Have gamified my electricity usage. There it is. It's in Montana, it's a bit of a bummer when they start getting covered in snow. And you're like, oh, I guess we had like five days where they were covered in snow and I was bummed out. But yeah, they're going good so far for us. All right, let's answer this question from Amanda who asks,

Dear John and Hank, why does soup heated up on the stove taste better than who whoops seated up? Just going to stick with it. Why does whoops seated up on the stove taste better than whoops seated up in the microwave, warmly Amanda? Great, great sign off. Great sign off. Yeah. Do you, can you taste the difference between

microwave poop and non-microwave poop? Absolutely not. No. I can barely taste the difference between peanut butter and jelly. I mean, I can, I don't even take the time to recede the hoops sometimes, John. And Hank, and Hank's family, every soup is a guest spot show. Why did I just say guest spot show? What, the way I just said guest spot show was so weird. I've got to, I have to teach myself how to say guest spot show. Guest, oh, do you?

I'm all the way down the rabbit hole now, man. Right now, I'm just thinking about what would have happened if instead of saying good soup, Adam Driver and said good, good hoop. Good, good hoop. That was really good, I think. That's what we think. You have an Adam Driver?

I just have a good soup, John. That's 100% of my Adam driver. I've good souped a lot of times. Cathern and I good soup regular one. Oh, because you regularly apparently eat cold soup directly out of the fridge. It's called, it's sold coop, John. Thank you very much.

This is what we call it in the greenhouse hold. And I do, Kather makes a great chili. And I don't mind. Well, you know what, cold chili is? It's just great salsa. It's like stick a chip in there. And it's just like honky chalsa. Dang it.

That wasn't on purpose. Hunky Chalsa! That's my new brand of cold chili. It's called Hank's Hunky Chalsa. You can get it at Albert Sense. Albert Sense exclusive. You can only buy it in drug stores, it's actually because of certain regulations. It can't buy in a grocery store. It's not technically food. It's hand cream, funky, jolsa. Yeah, you have to talk to your doctor today. Talk to your doctor today.

You have to keep it behind the counter with the suit of fed. Yeah, you have to fill out a little form when you get it too. Amanda, there is no way that suit tastes like I think that maybe the stove heats it up more evenly, but other than that, it's just, it's just molecules bumping around. Oh my God. So it, oh my God. I probably, maybe that your house fills up with a smell more. If you got it on the stove and then you're like, ma, can't wait to have that soup.

I'm so grateful to be able to share with all of you that today's podcast is brought to you by our lead sponsor, Hank Green's Hunky Chalsa. Hank Green's Hunky Chalsa. Hank Green's Hunky Chalsa. Ask your pharmacist. This podcast is also brought to you by almost everything, almost everything. We do not know about it. And of course today's podcast is also brought to you by Hank's Adam Driver Impression. I'm not letting it go. I'm staying, I'm keeping, I'm keeping hoop oriented in the sponsor

reads today. I appreciate it. And also this podcast is brought to you by knowing too much about how different organizations calculate their emissions. Knowing too much about how different organizations calculate their emissions. It's just what it's just how I live my life. We also have a project file some message from John from Kalamazoo to us, Hank, John and Hank Green. Thank you for a distance community for unironic enthusiasm, wholesome distraction, radical hope and uncomplicated joy. You two are a large reason I'm a librarian and training, hoping to give those benefits to

those around me. John, you're the reason I've abandoned the social internet, Hank. You embody my Judith Butler inspired beliefs about performance and identity. Nerdfighters, you are my internet family and I love you. Not darn you, John. That's lovely. Thank you so much. That summary, Hank, distance, community,

unironic enthusiasm, wholesome distraction, radical hope and uncomplicated joy. That's just, that's exactly what I hope I can bring to the world. That's what I'd like, that's what I'd like to do. And I'm sorry that the joy is a little more complicated at the ball. Yeah. Hank, I want to ask this question from Thomas because it's also a question I have at the moment.

Dear John and Hank, I have always been a very motivated and hardworking person, but I'm noticing as I get to my late 20s that my motivation has become less consistent. Like from childhood through college, I was able to really work hard for any given amount of time needed to accomplish a goal I had in mind, but now I get these bursts of intense motivation that are followed by walls of low ambition where I have trouble bringing myself back into the work Mindset. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with peaks and valleys of motivation? I think I can I think I can Thomas

I wanted us this question because Hank I've had a very low motivation period really for the first time in my life. Oh, wow. I guess that's not true. I had a low motivation period that began in sixth grade and ended when I was a senior in college. But since then, I've been a pretty highly motivated person. Yeah. I guess there were a few times when I got, when I lost my marbles. I wasn't going to bring it up. I mean,

tell me this rings true to you, John. There are a lot of tips and tricks for how to increase productivity and a lot of them are about motivation. And, but in my experience, mostly what does it is being who I am in the, and like doing what I feel like doing. Like I just don't think like none of those tricks have ever worked for me and I am motivated when I am and I am not when I am not and I just kind of chase and I just kind of do what I feel like. I was just saying to Katherine this morning that one of the things that has been a really useful skill

for me is not something that I learned. It is just how I am that when there is a thing that I have to do, that I really don't want to do, I have to do it. I have to do it as fast as I can. Yeah. And that is not, like that's not a behavior that I see a lot of other people replicating, but

that is just how I am. And it is not something I've worked on. It's just how I am. I, on the other hand, like I was talking recently with my best friend, Chris, and I was like, you know, something we have in common is that we both really don't like doing things we don't like doing. And I know people who can do things they don't like doing with a minimum of fuss, but I'm not one of them. Like I really dislike doing things I don't like doing.

And the more I don't like doing it, the less I, the more unhappy I am with having to do it. Yeah. But do you do it? Because some people just don't. I have learned. I have learned to do it. And the way that I've learned to do it is to break it up into discrete parts that I can get through and to really celebrate getting Through those discrete parts as they come rather than What I used to say to myself when I was in high school in college, which was a normal person could do this easily What's wrong with the right And why are you so stupid? Why are you so lazy?

Why are you this and that? Instead, I say, oh my God, like other people don't have a hard time paying the bills, but you sure do. And you just paid one. And now you're going to pay another. And that's going to feel amazing. And changing that self-talk has been key for me. But I. I've been in a period, and

I think it's partly because I finished a book, and the world is weird. And I think there's a lot going on, but I just don't feel the urgent need that I once felt to do everything all of the time. I just don't. And I've seen that in other people around me and I don't, so I don't know if it's like a wider phenomenon. But I feel like I, I want it, I mean, I have to do a lot of work. Like obviously, like, I have, you know, I'm a busy person and I have a lot of work to do every week. And it's not hard for me to have a 40 hour work week, but I don't feel the urge to have an 80 hour work week, which I used to feel very strongly. Maybe I will get there. I don't, I certainly, at the moment, I don't 80 hour it, but I've never 40 hour it. No. You never have.

But one of the things that I think maybe is useful is that I keep things that I will really like to do for when I am experiencing low energy. And so I tend to like put away things that I'm really enjoying, so because I know that they will get done because I'm enjoying them. That's interesting. And that maybe is a habit that I have built up, or it is just that I am scared about some other things

that aren't going to get done if I don't do them right now. But it is really nice for me to have a lot of different kinds of things that I have to do, like I have to do, you know, budget stuff, and I have to do video stuff, and I have to do TikTok, which obviously is also video, but it's a very different kind of video. Right. There's just like a lot of different structure to my work. And then also like, you know, this stuff that isn't traditionally work, but it is still occupation and then it occupies time. Like, you know, spending time with family and doing fun things are also, I'm motivated to do them.

Yeah, because I haven't been doing them all day. And I think if you find that you're not motivated to do even the things that you enjoy that bring you fulfillment, then you need to like check in with somebody. Like that's when you need to sort of reach out and saying like, oh, I feel really kind of disconnected from this stuff or whether that's reaching out to a therapist or whatever or some adult you trust.

But in general, I think it's pretty normal to not like doing the things you don't like doing, and like a side effect of being in your late 20s is that there are some things that aren't that fun that you have to do like taxes. Yeah, and like, some people enjoy doing taxes, I don't, but I understand that the consequences if not doing them are such that I want to do the right.

The the fuel is is thinking about my future self. Yeah. And to me, thinking of right, thinking of it in terms of what my different fuels are for the different things can be helpful. And like, why do I want to do these things? What is motivating me? And sometimes recognizing that it isn't necessarily healthy stuff. Right. And sometimes it is. Right. So at least knowing the difference.

Yeah. I mean, a lot of, I think that's been a big adjustment for me for so long. I mean, my whole, the whole first like 10 years of my career was motivated intensely by like resentment and fear and lots of other fuels that burned really, really dirty, but really, really bright. And in the last 10 years, I've had to rebuild those fuel structures, which has led to lower productivity, but better life.

Yeah. I have published fewer books in the last 10 years than I published in the previous 10 years, but I'm both like happier with the books and happier with the circumstances that led to their writing Yeah, well, that's for sure. I can you could have tested that with anecdotal evidence Yeah, no, I mean, I think Oh, yeah, no, I mean, I think that, but that's, yeah, it's, it, you, you, you've already experienced this to some extent, but like you're, you're, you get older, but your books

stay the same age, you know, like, yeah, I'm not 28 anymore or 27. However old I was when looking for Alaska was published, and I'm certainly not 24, which is how old I was when looking for Alaska was published and I'm certainly not 24 which is how old I was when I wrote most of it But it's still that age Like it's still me then and that's like that's a part of why that you know why why people like it and it's so it's just it's a We it's a very weird thing that I never imagined would be a problem for me But because of course I thought that all of my books would quickly go out of print like most books do. So I'm grateful for this problem, but it man, it is weird.

John. I have a question that is definitely for you. It's from Violet who asks, dear Hank and John, at the interview from my current job, I told the man who has become my boss that I liked the Liverpool scarf that was hanging on his wall. He asked if I was a fan and I said yes, I was nervous and trying to make small talk. And I thought that we could bond over our shared love of the EPL. What's the

EPL? The English premiere week. The problem is I am an Everton supporter, a big one. The other problem is that my interview was two years ago and I have been living a lie ever since. How do I explain to my boss that I hate his football team? Well, so hang for context, Everton and Liverpool are local rivals. I would say as a Liverpool fan that to Everton, we are their biggest rivals, but for us, they're kind of our second biggest rivals. Right. I don't know if it's just United or the biggest rivals. To us, Everton is an afterthought.

We don't even think about them. But Eve, I mean, Everton fans would be so pissed off to hear that. But it's kind of true. Like, yeah, every every year when we beat them in December, they sing a song called Merry Christmas Everton. Anyway, this is a tough one because at this point, yeah, it's quite a lie to live. Yeah, I mean, you're two years into a pretty serious lie. That's one of your only points of connection with the person who probably at least in part decides your compensation. Uh, well, it doesn't stretch that.

I only have, you day only have dubious advice on this front. Um, here's my dubious advice, Hank. Okay. Wake up. Uh-huh. Go to work. You go into your boss's office and you say, listen, last night I had a blinding light spiritual awakening. The Lord came to me. I want to invite you. On the journey, I have

gone on like Paul on the road. And what he said to me was starting today, you have to become a huge Everton fan. And I said, okay, anything else? And he said, no, that's it. And then I said, okay. And so now I am an Everton fan starting today because of my blinding light spiritual awakening. Thank you for understanding. I like me anything else. That's really good. I wasn't expecting that. Well, because you figured it,

like if I know if God came to me and was like, you need to become an Everton fan, I would say okay, but like, surely that's not the biggest. And you'd be like, no, that's it man. Everything else is good as far as I can tell. Yeah, maybe, like what are the other ways that this can happen? You had, so like big, you had a, you had a procedure.

You went to the, to the doctor and you, where you hit your head, woke up an Everton fan and you can't fix it. Or marriage. You got a new, you got a new, marriage is not, or like your, it's got, but it You got a new, you got a new marriage. It's got, but it should be something like I, my personality is now fundamentally different. I mean, the

thing is like just like my friend, Ronge, who co-host the podcast, Men and Blazers always says that like to be an Everton fan is to be deeply familiar with suffering. And it's so true like, like there's this Colombian player, Hank Luiz Diaz, who just signed for a Liverpool in like mid-January. And Luiz Diaz has won more trophies playing for Liverpool than Everton have won since Luiz Diaz was born. Like, like Liverpool won more trophies in the last year than Everton of one in like the last 30 years. Sounds, sounds tough to be an Everton fan job. Guy thing, guy.

But, but maybe like at least if it was the other way around, this would be a bigger problem. Yes. At least you're not gonna worry on tournament. Yeah. Right. Yeah, you're just like, I'm a fair weather fan. I never, I never liked. Yes. So, but, but this way, it's, you know, there, there will be an element of, oh, poor you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I think your boss will feel bad for you as any whoever pull a fan does for any Everton

fan. Like, I think it will be a feeling of like, I'm sorry that that happened to you more than anything else. Oh, man. So you're right Hank, if it was switched around, it would be like, well, that is really uncool. But this way, I almost think that you're gonna be okay because you're gonna walk in and you're gonna say, I'm an Everton fan and your boss is gonna be like, oh God, that sucks for you.

So sorry to you. Yeah, yeah, like Mike and Dolan. But you're not, you don't, that sucks for you. So sorry to you. Yeah, yeah, like my condolences. But you're not, you don't think that you can, you don't think you can bring the boss along and be like, look, I have changed my ways. And you can't do. There is a future for us together where the revolution starts now. No. No, no, but I think it is time to transition to talking about football, Hank.

No, I can't. I have to ask you this one more question, John. It's from Emily who asks Dear Hank and John, because it's also about personal transformation. Is there any way to eat asparagus without your peace, smelling like asparagus? Why does this happen? And is there an antidote? Someone has just asked me in a public bathroom bathroom if I recently ate asparagus, Emily. Oh, yes. I had just eaten asparagus. Ooh. This is, you did, you are not the problem.

You did nothing wrong, Emily. A crime was committed in that restroom and you did not commit it. Do not talk. Do not reference the odor of anyone's bathroom emissions. Hard stop. Sssss. Sssss stop. So so first of all, do not concern yourself with the second of all. Absolutely. It is possible. You have to do germline genetic engineering

on yourself. Yeah. Which is which is which is not not impossible, but is very difficult and a day it fairly dangerous. Definitely in infamyzo. Actually, it wouldn't, definitely, it wouldn't have to be germline. You could do it somatic, but then you wouldn't confer that benefit onto your children. I mean, it's a very marginal benefit. Anyone, does complicated. And I think, it's complicated because there isn't just one smell. There's a bunch of different smells to asparagus pee. One of them is the extra strong one. And there are some people who

do not produce that smell, but they produce other ones. And so I don't think we've even gotten entirely to the bottom of the complexity of asparagus pee smell. Though there's a doctor who was interviewed and they said, I for one, do not produce a urinary odor after eating asparagus and I can definitely confirm that others do. This is the person who probably smells a good a bit of pee. So I think that it's safe to say that there is a possibility

and there's a genetic thing where you just don't produce the smelly compounds. But I think there's probably going to be pretty complicated. There are at least 871 known genetic variation. There are, I think it's going to be pretty complicated. There are at least 871 known genetic variations that cause the inability to smell the asparagus in your pee. So maybe you should just do that to the rude person in the bathroom. There you go. I like it. Well, now it's time to talk about AFC Wimbledon. Okay. Goodness gracious. AFC Wimbledon have not won a game in 2022, Hank, and it's March.

It's March. You're going to be so good when you're in the league below the one you're in now. Or will we? Will we just still be bad? We would not have a particularly good budget in that league. Currently. So after 35 games in the last five seasons, AFC Wimbledon has been either 20th or 19th four times. And the other time we were 24th. So we are currently 20th. We are we are two points clear of the relegation zone, but only because there are four truly dreadful teams in week one right now. And I mean, there are 11 games left in the season, and we are somehow going to have to do what we have done for the last five seasons, which is find a way in the last 11 games to get in the neighborhood of 15 points. So we got to win five of our, yeah, five of our last 11 games, probably to stay up. So we're here again. We're here every

season. It's super frustrating. It's hard to say that it's the manager's fault when we've had three different managers and been in this situation over and over again, but it's a real problem. And we just, I say this every year, but we just have to find a way to stay up and then find a way. I mean, there are financial problems at the club

just because we have a very high interest loan right now to pay off the rest of the stadium and the only way to kind of get out from under the burden of that debt is by fans loaning the club money. So right now the club is doing a second plow lane bond where fans can loan the club money and get an interest rate return. It's pretty good, actually. But of course, it comes with a certain set of risks.

I'm not an investment advisor. But yeah, it's just a really difficult situation again. So yeah, I don't know. We had a fairly good performance over the weekend playing Wigan who were second in the league. We lost one nil, but we looked okay. And so maybe we will start to, I don't know. Maybe we'll start to do a little bit better,

but it's been a very frustrating experience the last few weeks. Well, the news from ours is also frustrating. So the, the, Rosalind Franklin, so the Rosalind Franklin rover is a part of a mission that has already begun with the 2016 trace gas order that was sent to Mars. It's a joint project between the European Space Agency, ESA and Roscosmos, Russia's agency. It has been put on hold.

It will be delayed for clear reasons. Basically, the launch vehicle is Russian, and they design these things to fit in specific launch vehicles. You can't put them in a different one easily. So the basic is just all up in the air. It is an exciting mission. Every active rover on the surface of Mars is very exciting, but there has not been an official decision

made yet, but they have made comments specifically, of course, citing the invasion of Ukraine and sanctions as the reasons behind the delay. And what that means for the future of the mission, we do not yet know, basically. Thanks for potting with me, Hank. Thank you, John. I appreciate it. Thanks for being my brother. It's always good to have you to talk to when I need someone to talk to you. Same. You could email us your questions, and please do at hankandjanagemail.com. We don't have a podcast without them.

This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Medicens, produced by Rosie on a Hals Rojas. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom. Our editorial assistant is Deboky Trucker-Vardy. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown.

Don't forget to be awesome. Be awesome. and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.