Dear Hank & John - 335: Just Boil It

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

Why is the Earth's interior still molten? How do I tell someone I don't like orange soda? What do I write in the yearbook for someone who failed my class? What do I do with Too Much Peanut Butter? How does a 14-year-old make money? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Norse I prefer to think of it dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon John. I've heard a lot of people saying that camo pants are really attractive, but I just don't see it. Uh-oh, because it's invisible. Yeah.

I didn't like that joke, and that's why you didn't hear me laugh. But in the interest of full disclosure, I feel that I should also reveal that, um, right now, you remember one of my oldest friends, the Peruvian Novelist Daniel Alarco. Yeah. Well, Daniel is a huge fan of the Peruvian national soccer team, of course. Okay. And right now they are in a one game play where we're going. But okay, with Australia to decide which of these two teams will go to the World Cup.

You're not allowed to watch football while we make a podcast. I'm not. We're going to watch football while we make a podcast, but it is on in the background. You have my you and I'm I do you Well, okay, all right, first off, Hank, you cannot very well say what am I to you? When when we talk on the phone, I hear the sound of you typing not 20% of the time,

not 60% of the time, but 99% of the time, it's like talking to a court reporter. percent of the time, but 99% of the time, it's like talking to a court reporter. Yeah, well, you know, share tweet and something really funny, okay? Yeah, yeah. And then there's like, it's so obvious when Hank is doing something else when he's talking on the phone because he's such a poor multi-tasker that it'll be like six or seven seconds later. What fully when he says, yeah. So I'll be like, I'll be very aware of this.

Well, she'll say something and then it'll be like, I'll be like 30 seconds later, I will say, I will respond to it. But I will, like, I will know what she said, it just took that long to get through. I think that's important for you to know Hank that Catherine is very aware of this and I am very aware of it.

And also, everyone you know and love is very aware of it. There's nobody who doesn't know about it and we do talk about it. Yeah. This is a little bit like when I said in passing to someone at my publisher that I love a hotel mini-bar and they said, oh yeah, we know. and they said, oh yeah, we know. Oh. Oh. Wow.

Do you, are you, do you, are you allowed to say that? I was like, oh, I have a reputation and they were like, you know, yeah. Everybody knows you love a mini bar. You love those peanut M&Ms at the mini bar? Oh gosh, I do love peanut M&Ms. Well, you're publisher knows. John is very tired right now. I am very tired.

The turtles all the way down movie just wrapped. It was a lot of night shoots. So it was 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. working. And then I would come home to my Airbnb at six o'clock in the morning and make a frozen pizza and stare into the middle distance and try to sleep and fail and then go back to set. And that's how we got to now.

I am also very tired because I went to a Brandy Carlyle concert in Washington state. It was a five hour drive drove there. Got there just in time for it to start. It was the longest set she's ever played. There were three opening acts, including Sarah McLaughlin. So it's not like they were like bad, but it was a long show. We're also in a different time zone. God had to get to the campground to set up our tent at like one o'clock in the morning. That was done. We were asleep by two. And then we were back on the road

to get home at six thirty. That was maybe maybe, you know, look, we did it. It was a lot of fun. We had a great time. We got very goofy on the car ride home because of how sleep deprived we were and we made it safe. So that's all you can ask. We had a great time.

That's all you can ask for. I also had a great time on the turtles all the way down movie says, one of the most fulfilling professional experiences of my life. It was just incredible. And I was so, and I was so and Remain just so grateful for it. It was really really special. I hope the movie is good

I think it will be but even if it's not I have that memory and it was it was really extraordinary The work that the cast and crew did the commitment that they had the number of people who took me aside during the filming to say that They also live with OCD or other mental health problems and that this story, mental lots of them, it's just really, really special. So, really excited for it to come out and for everybody to see it, hopefully.

I don't know when or how it'll come out. I don't know how we watch movies now. How do movies work? Yeah, I don't know. It'll either be like top gun and you can only see it in a theater or it'll be like everything else and you can see it literally anywhere. Yeah, I think probably I'll be a little less like top gun.

You're being very sweet just then and I wanna say that it's making it harder for me to imagine punching you and are you due to barboxing match. Oh yeah, okay, so this is a big thing. Hank and I have been really thinking hard. We saw the success of the creator clash. And one thing you should know about me and Hank

is we are not above copying someone else's success. That's a, did somebody do something? That is, in many ways, the foundational concept of our entire careers. And also all of human culture, just for clearly, maybe, but we are not originators. We simply aren't. And we saw the success of this creator clash

where all these YouTubers boxed against each other. And I immediately was like, Hank, we should box against each other. People will love it. And it will raise a bunch of money for partners in health. And Hank was like, that's a terrible idea. And I was like, is it? It is it. I know it's a terrible idea, but there's still a terrible idea. And I was like, is it, it is it? I know it's a terrible idea,

but there's still a little part of me that's like, is it? Is it? Actually, John, I wanted to start this podcast, we the boxing joke so we could go straight into this conversation, but I could not think of a good punchline. That's the, I like to that one. I like that one because it reminds me of how much I want to box you. I don't have any design.

I genuinely like to deep down in my heart no matter how deep I dig. I don't find any desire to hit you. You know, right? I just don't. Well, I mean, I have punched you in the face, but I think it was once when you were being named to me over at Nick's house. Oh, yeah. That was like 31 years ago. That was a while ago.

I had braces because you like cut your hand on my braces. I think I have a little scar on my finger. And by the way, if we do a voxig match, you can rest assured I will be getting braces just for the occasion. Oh, Lord. So I think that there is something here. Yeah. And I think here's, I was surprised by

I think you think being like, Hmm. I think that you would just reject it out of hand. The problem is that like you are starting at a higher level of baseline fitness than I would be starting at if we did some training. I don't know if that's true. I think it's definitely true.

Just because I've become less fit and you have become more fit over the last five years, I think you could punch through me like, like I'm just a piece of baked. Like a hot knife through butter. Just, but I wanted to go right through Hank's midsection and like it would be like in the video game Mortal Kombat where like the fist

comes down the other side. Right. I'm worried about that. I'm concerned about that. So you shouldn't be. I think that I want to be able to tag another YouTuber. So for like when I'm feeling like maybe I got a little bit too many waps. Wait, you don't want to tag somebody good, do you?

I want to tag Tyler Oakley. Okay. Wait, you don't wanna tag somebody good, do you? Because it's good to yell her Oakley. Okay, well Tyler is very strong. He's very thin. He's fit, but he's smaller than you. Yeah, if you can tag Tyler Oakley, I need to have a tag team person as well. And I would lean toward a sort of Hannah Hart type of figure. Somebody's-

It's impossible to bunch. Somebody's fast. No one could ever demean to Hannah. That's the fast and ferocious and really kind, really like lovely hearted so that you just feel horribly guilty. You can't do it. You can't do it. Yeah, but also about how many times you can't have a punch as much.

You can't, you can't return a punch. It's just, it's just, it's do mean. One thing I'm absolutely sure of is that both Hannah and Tyler would dominate us in a boxing match. Like it wouldn't even last around. Yeah. On the other hand, without the benefit of the physical fitness, the training would provide, I am into the idea of just having it be a purely academic event. Boring. Who's going to be a pay-view viewer of YouTuber quiz bowl? Well, maybe there's like something that happens to you when you get a wrong answer.

I mean, do you get punched in the face because that's what the people wanna see. There's a boxing glove in the podium. And as soon as you get a wrong, it pops right out of there like with those like little thingies, the crossways hinges. You know what I'm talking about? One of those? Yeah, yeah. You don't have to talk about one of those? Yeah, yeah.

But I would argue if you're gonna do that, just box. Like if you're gonna get punched in the face by a machine, just get punched in the face by a person. There's so much rather get punched in the face by a machine. I love the idea. There's a lot of reasons why I, first off, I don't think we should do this.

Like really, realistically, if I dig all the way down, I don't think we should do it mostly because, really, realistically, if I dig all the way down, I don't think we should do it mostly because I don't wanna be shirtless. There is no part of me that thinks that we should do this. I mean, there's a little part of me. There's no rational part of me that thinks that we should do this. But, but, but, yeah.

Someone in our Patreon livestream that we did right before this for Dear Hank and John said that the tagline for our boxing match could be. Great. Before I give you the tagline, can I give you the name? It's called Clash Course. Clash Course, Clash Course, and then it starts to sound like a good idea.

This is the power of a name, the power of branding. I know. I'm like, we should not do this. However, glass-course-coulding gloves on glasses off might be worth getting beat up for. It's long as T-shirts also on. Yes, T-shirts, 100%. There's no way I'm going shirtless in a boxing ring.

I'm glad to be trained for like eight years. And then maybe. And we're like, hey, we make that like classic video where we're like, hey fam, so I'm gonna have to take a little time away from the YouTubes, because I got to focus on my big boxing match. Yep, as you may know, I'm boxing. Hey fam.

It's what I live for, it's what I live a breath. The only thing keeps me up in the morning. I'm actually leading my family to move to Miami to train 10 hours a day, six days a week for the next year. So you're not going to see me, but you can pre-order the fight right now. I'm so into boxing, I live in breath boxes. I sniff boxes. I'm spending my nights in a box. I've got a box in my room. Days, I'm in the gym. Nice. I'm at the cardboard factory.

I'm in a box. I'm in a box. I'm in a box. That's not much I care about boxing. There is no boxing. I don't love, okay? I love boxing. I love unboxing.

I love re-boxing. I take things out of boxes, I put them back in the box. Well, I'm doing a huge box in it. I think about your face. My box in it. My box in it. You're training. Everybody knows that's a huge part of the training. In the same way that like, there's a little part of me that thinks I would be a good

boxer just because I was the book-waste boxing reviewer for six years. So like, there's part of me that's like, well, I have read a lot of books on the subject. I know what it's about. I know a lot of the strategies. I know a lot of the characters. I know so many late 19th century characters. So I feel like I could give myself a good nickname just for knowing the nicknames of all the 19th century boxers,

like the Freckled Wonder. Oh, wow. The Freckled Wonder. What wow, the Freckled Wonder. What is John Green, the Berspectical Spectacle? I can't. John, listen to me. John the Spectacle Green. I love it so much.

I want to be the spectacle so bad. Oh God, now we have to do it. John the Spectacle Green. I love it so much. Yeah. John the spectacle green Faces off one night only live at Madison Square Garden. Why not go big Hank against Hank The green giant the green giant the jolly green giant because I'm pretty happy And a little bit bigger than you green giant doesn't pretty happy. And the little bit bigger than you. Green giant green. That's the other thing, we're gonna have to set some rules because you are a little taller than I am,

but we're pretty much in the same way class. Like I think you could do this Hank. I thought we're definitely the same way class. I mean, we're both moving up, but. That's true. Definitely no longer a light heavyweight. All right, this was fun. I don't think we should do it, but I kind of do, but I don't, longer a light heavyweight. All right, this was, this was fun. I don't think we should do it, but I kind of do, but I don't, but a little bit of me

does. Let's answer some questions from my listeners. This first question comes from Chris who writes, dear John and Hank, this might be a dumb question. I don't know Chris. I don't know if the answer is so. It's not that dumb. But why is the internal of the earth still molten?

Like I get that it's not pure molten as you go down, but isn't like two-ish billion years enough time for the planets heat to dissipate? That heat's gotta go somewhere, right? Or am I just vastly underestimating the time it takes for the Earth to cool down? Not the main character from the 1996 movie The Quest, Chris. I mean, there's a lot of Chris's. I know that's not the first one. That one particular Chris is not the first one that would have come to my mind. In fact, I don't know what that is. I would have said not Thor or possibly his brother. I can't tell them apart, comma, Chris.

Well, there's so many. There's so, but there's Chris, you could have said a Captain America, a Star Lord, and Thor, all Chris's. Also Santa Claus is a Chris. Like, there's a lot of Chris's out there. You could have gone with and yet I've just Googled the quest and it is a Sean Cod Van Dam movie. So I'm not sure if it is Sean Cod Van Dam movie. It was directed by Sean Cod Van Dam.

I'm I'm you know, I bet he did a great job. I he knows his abilities and toolkit better than anyone. Not according to critics. That's at one point, he does appear to be dressed as a mime, which is a bit of a shock considering the rest of the screenshots from the movie. I'm pretty proud of the show. Very, very orange and oily.

I'm pretty proud of the fact that the paper town's movie did significantly better than John Claude Van Dam's directorial debut. And that with nothing against Mr. Van Dam, of course, I know he's a big fan of the pod. Hank, why is the earth still molten? A few different reasons. First of all, the earth that the crust is a pretty good insulator. So like space is out there, but it's not easy to get the heat through the crust and radiating out into space. So it is cooling off. It will eventually solidify. I don't know if that will happen before or after the sun consumes us. And if

it's after it wouldn't eventually solidify. But like if you just sort of left the earth on our on our own, it would eventually be a solid block of uniform temperature. The things that are keeping the earth warm are the insulation, but also a couple of things that are adding heat. They will not add heat forever, but they are adding heat right now. One of them, a contributor, but not the main one,

is the radioactive decay of elements. So they are just like radioactive elements decaying, that creates heat. And eventually that process ends because all of the radioactive stuff decays. The other is that densities are unevenly distributed in the planet and have been so since the formation of the planet.

So heavier stuff is falling toward the core, lighter stuff is moving upward. And as that happens, it creates a lot of friction. And that is a main, is a large contributor to the heat of the interior of the earth is just stuff slide and past itself as the sort of like peanut buttery quality of the interior of the earth. All of the heat creates like sort of not really liquid, but not solid rock that is moving around a lot in there. As it's trying to reach its final confirmation of most of the dense stuff being in the very middle,

which is already the case, but it's not sort of fully regulated by density from the middle to the outside yet. So is that what happened to Mars? Did like eventually it stopped being geologically active because all that stuff happened? Yeah, the theory is that since Mars is a little bit smaller, it was not as good at holding onto its heat.

And that shutdown played tectonics, which probably means that there's still, you know, we're not entirely sure, it's hard to figure it out, but that there's still some like areas of, it's certainly hot in the inside of Mars, and there's still some areas of like molten stuff in Mars, and that there could still be someday a volcanic eruption maybe, again, on Mars,

though it certainly it looks like Olympus Mons' quite dormant, but the most recent eruption was not so long ago that you would consider it, you know, an impossibility that would happen again. I'm always really fascinated to read historical accounts of volcanoes like around the emergence of the Black Death. There were a lot of active volcanoes and people were like, as you can tell from the position of Jupiter

and whatnot in the sky and these volcanoes, that's why we had a plague. But volcanoes must have been, I mean, they're still super weird, right? Like the earth is spewing hot molten lava out of itself. That is a weird phenomenon. If you pitched it in an alien world, I think a lot of the aliens would be like, I don't like it, and it doesn't seem realistic. Yeah. It's like, why would you bring that horror movie stuff to my perfectly pleasant mindscape? That's how I feel in a earthquake. I'm like, I've heard about this,

but it does not seem like something that should happen. I do not like earthquakes. I do not like them. I do not enjoy an earthquake. I convividly remember every earthquake I have lived through and I didn't enjoy any of them. Yeah, hear that. But at least we know kind of what is happening, right?

Like I guess they also thought they knew what was happening, but like it must have been so weird. So weird. John, this next question comes from Corey who asks, dear Hank and John, I order pizza once or twice a week and it's always the same guy who delivers it. He's very nice. And because I'm a regular, he throws on an orange soda for me for free. That's amazing. I appreciate its generosity, but I do not like orange soda. Soda. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated? Orange crushed, Corey. That's great. Yeah. Well, I think that Corey is missing out on the obvious solution here, right? Which is that Corey's like, I don't like orange soda, but I would submit Corey that you don't like orange soda yet. Oh, well, look, I don't know that I need to,

at this point in my life, develop a taste for other things that are not healthy. Like, I like enough unhealthy stuff to be like, I'm gonna develop a taste for this particular way to get a lot of high fructose corn syrup into my body. I don't need to. Yeah, I hear that, I hear that. I think you have a few options

that don't involve falling in love with orange soda, although I will say, when I was on the set of Turtles All the Way Down, one day they ran out of Diet Mountain Dew. And did I throw a fit and say, I am the producer, and if you don't have Diet Dr. Pepper, you sure as heck better have Diet Mountain Dew? No. Grydrink, zero calorie, sun-kissed orange soda, and it was. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Amazing. Unfortunately, it was great. It wasn't a diet doctor, but it was great. Okay, so John likes it. I think what you need and what we all need is a friend who likes orange soda. That's true. We all do need that.

And then you'd be like, I got a lot of orange soda in the fridge. You want to come over and play, um, call a duty. What did people do? Yeah. That's what people do. I think that's the main thing they do. Do you want to play the new season of night fort? Question mark question mark? That sounds like fun. What's that? I think it's fortnight, but with just reversed. Wow, night fort would be great. We could come over, have orange soda, watch our flag means death. Yeah, I think that you should make a Craigslist ad. And the Craigslist ad should read as follows. Hey, what's up y'all?

No, let me start over. Hey, how y'all doing? So listen. I'm Cory. I'm Cory and I'm Corey and I got a lot of orange service in my fridge. And about a quarter of yesterday's pizza and I'm in need of a new friend.

This is a bad idea. I don't like any of you on it. In search of people who like orange soda and Corey. Here's some other things I like. Here's just a list. Somebody's got you know somebody who likes orange soda and maybe they will trade you and they will give you a Coca-Cola and exchange because everyone likes Coca-Cola.

I love that idea. But it's not that interesting. No, it is interesting. I really like it. No, because eventually you trade the orange soda up for a house and then you give the house to the delivery driver. Oh! So you trade your orange soda for like, I don't know, like Rolex.

That's probably a little ambitious. I don't know how many orange sodas you have though. Maybe somebody's in the market. It's a really busted up Rolex. It's a really busted up Rolex. It's a really busted up Rolex, but then you get it repaired and then you trade that for a car

and then you trade that car for a little house and then you give the house to the delivery driver and you say like, I didn't know how it's to repay you for all that orange soda. So I got you this house. Maybe the delivery driver likes orange soda and he wants to come over. Yes, maybe you are supposed to be friends.

You know, we get along well and I get the impression that you think people like Ornge Soda. It probably comes from your own personal interest in Ornge Soda. And so, do you also like old reruns of the tick? Sure. Great. I think we solved your problem, Cory, on a bunch of different levels. Hank, before we get anywhere further, I need you to know something, which is that there are two listeners to this podcast. We answered their question like a month ago and they took our answer and the part where we say their name and they went to Build a Bear which is an American store where you can make a teddy bear essentially from scratch and they built a very cool Build a Bear that plays as it's one song

us talking, and answering their question. Cute. It's like a Teddy Rucks bin, but with our voices. That makes me very happy. I was just thinking about the old days when that kind of thing made it to our ears more easily, and it felt like we were sort of constantly collaborating with

a lot of people. And it feels a little less like that now. But I think a lot, a big part of that is that people just don't with that information doesn't make it to us as often. Yeah, I think it makes it to me more often because I have more time to read emails unless have to be the boss. But you're right. It's really lovely to hear that kind of thing though. So thank you for listening to the pod and responding to it in such a deep, cool way. I have a question for you, Hank. It's from anonymous. Who writes, dear John and Hank, I'm a high school literature teacher, and occasionally a kid will fail my class. And then that kid will still want me to sign their yearbook. And I have no idea what to do with that space.

Like, I want to be funny and encouraging without coming across like a, sorry, you failed through pillow. I genuinely like these kids, and I want them to leave knowing that they'll be okay, and that they still have a lot to contribute to the world, even if they didn't like the Scarlet letter. But that's a lot to put in a yearbook inscription.

So what would you write? It's the end of the year and I'm too tired for personalized sign-off anonymous. Well anonymous. You're a school teacher and what you got a lot on the plate and so what you got to write is stay chill thanks for being a part of our school. Bye. Thanks for taking thanks for taking my class. Never change. Never change. Keep in touch. I feel like I can answer this question uniquely well since I failed to June your English. What are your teachers? This question was made for me. That's what they said basically. And that's I love this question because the part where you say you will be okay and you have lots to contribute to the world.

I think that's it. I think that's what you say. That's beautiful. Even if you didn't, you can even say even if you didn't like the scarlet letter. What my teacher said to me was, you know, you failed this class because you didn't show up enough and you didn't do enough of the work, but you are a talented kid. You just need to learn how to do the work. And that was what I needed to hear. Like, it's a tough lesson. It was painful, it was scary.

I ended up passing the class with a D because I did work over the summer that allowed me to like finish and get my diploma and everything. But it was, it was, it sucked. It's a bad feeling to like, especially if you like writing, you know, like it's especially a bad feeling. But I also needed somebody to hold me accountable.

I needed somebody to tell me like, you can do better work than you're doing right now. Do you want to read a couple of things that are written in my high school at your book, John? Sure, yeah, read them to me. I didn't know when signed my high school at your book. That wasn't a thing at my school. Hank, I just, oh wow. Well, I can't read that one.

I'm sorry. OK, great. Sorry. I want ones from people I don't know. Like, I don't want to hear what your best friends who I'm still buddies with said. I want to hear what I don't know. Like I don't wanna hear what your best friends who I'm still buddies with said. I wanna hear like what your 732nd best friend said. Well, I don't know who this person is,

but they said, Hank, thanks for a great year in history. You made it truly memorable. Your quote, inaudible comments and interesting thoughts were so funny. Great. So that's the classmate or the teacher. Apparently I didn't been that guy the whole time. Was that the teacher? That was I believe a classmate. This was Wellhank. I don't know if I already signed or where but it doesn't and

that's the whole thing. They were like I want you to be the kind of person for whom I finished sentences, but This person who I can't read their signature said sub-hank. It's been a it's been a good year yada yada I don't know what yada yada means. Oh, you don't why oh TTA not yada yada, but yada yada yota yota yota yota Yada yada It's been a good year yota yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota Yota I'm pretty spiff year. Just didn't have the right one. Didn't have the right one. Was your nickname, Gene? No. Definitely not.

Wow. Definitely not. You've got some, you've got some duds. Yeah, what's up Hank? It was fun being with you in classes this year. Have a high summer, David. Hmm. What do you mean, David?

I know it was David's. Is it good too? No, I know what David's I know a David's hobbies. Oh, well, there's, there's, it goes on. It goes on. This one is from Leon who says, Hank, how are you? You're a pretty cool guy and a good person. Thanks for letting me rest my head on your shoulder in my time of need. Oh, that's very sweet. That's nice. I feel like you let me rest my head on your

shoulder in my time of need. It's possible that that has happened. I need you just, but it's over. That's enough. We're we're we're we're veering toward a new podcast called Hank Green Relo're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we we're we're we're we're we're we we're we're we're we're we we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we we're we're we're we like the center of the earth. It's also, according to Hank, has too much peanut butter. I recently purchased a couple large jars of GIF extra crunchy peanut butter, but now it has been recalled. So I can't eat it. Ooh, yeah. What are the other potential uses for this peanut butter?

I feel like you can probably just stick a wicking it and make a candle, right? Pfft. Can you really? That's gotta work, maybe. Maybe. Can you really? No. Can you really? That's gotta work, maybe. Maybe. Can you really? No.

Almost so. No, almost, no, definitely not. If you had the kind that I got the oil on top, you could probably dip a wick in that and burn that oil, maybe? Not GFX, not GFX for crunching. That stuff, I got all the emulsifiers in it. So you're gonna pull the oil out.

Look, look, look. your peanut butter has been recalled. I'm not gonna tell you to do anything with it. I'm worried for your health and safety. I was gonna maybe say like a mask, like a sleep mask, but that might get in your mouth. Maybe you'll get facial salmonella, which sounds horrible. That does sound bad.

Also, in general, it probably isn't healthy to put a bunch of peanut butter on your face. And difficult to find. Yeah, I did it a bunch of times, and it's never as fun as you think it's gonna be. Ha ha ha. Wait, why did you do it a bunch? Oh, never mind.

I used to do it for, it used to be a vlog brother's in joke. Ha ha ha. Like peanut butter dripping off my face every single project was in every single time I'd be like, my face is like a little bit swollen. Like I don't think I'm allergic to peanut butter, maybe my face might be.

My face might be. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, interesting. What always surprised me about that was the melting point of peanut butter, obviously, is right around human body temperature. So it just started out being sort of manageable,

but then as time goes on, it just gets very shiny. It's just shiny. And wet. Yeah, it just starts to like drip down your face. It's so gross. So don't do that, bro. I might, and this is, I might throw it away. If it has salmonella in it and it doesn't work as peanut butter, I don't think this is

a situation where you can be like, Cory, and invite somebody over to have your potentially salmonella isch peanut butter while you watch. I think you've got to throw it away. Well, it's Salmanella, one of the ones that it gets okay if you heat it up. Can you boil the peanut butter? So it's a lot of work. Is it a lot of work? Run it through the bretter. Run it through a filter. Just get all the Salmanella out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then when you get Salmonella poisoning

and you're having to explain it to the local health authorities when you're in the hospital, you can be like, I don't know, man, Hank and John's, I want you to just boil it. So I went to a website, it's called 12 Things to Do with the jar of peanut butter, and you will be unsurprised to find that every single one of them is a delicious edible treat. Not like the paint off your card. It's like not in there.

It's just like pie, little dessert bars, a smoothie, cookies, some bad die. Yeah, I mean, you can't even like. John, do you know about the time that I almost died? I know about a few times. With peanut butter? The peanut butter one? I didn't know that you almost died of peanut butter? Well, I walked into my girlfriend,

whose name is Catherine, and it's not my wife. I walked into her apartment. What's gonna say? You've only ever had one real girlfriend. Walked into her apartment, and nobody's around. And so I go to the kitchen, walked into our apartment and nobody's around. And so I go to the kitchen where there's food,

and on the counter, there's some cookie dough, and I'm like, I'm gonna have some of this. What's he not supposed to do, but like, hey. Yeah, everybody does anyway. And then our roommate comes out and she says, Hank, did you eat that? And I said no. Yeah.

Because of course, no. It was never a juice. That's why what I eat just random cookie dough. That's like clearly not mine. I don't know who it is. And also there's maybe a little eggs in it. That would be bad, bad form all around. And they're like, no, seriously, did you eat some of that?

And I, maybe a little. And it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't good. Just so you know, it's pretty bad and like I don't like I don't know who's doing what, but like that's probably we shouldn't make those cookies because either it's not done or it's something went wrong. And they're like, yeah, that's because that's for killing the ants. Oh, god. Because it Because it's peanut butter mixed with ant poison. Oh my God. So I do you have to go to the hospital? No, I was I would have sort of like left me under observation for a little while. But I was fine. Well, I'm glad

that you were okay, but don't. So maybe you can use it to kill the ants. If you're trying to kill something, maybe that's when it makes sense to use the salmon. Tainted peanut butter. Yeah. But short of that, I don't think that I would use it personally. I think there's nothing that I think that you have to say to yourself, this darn world. Did I ever, at least we know when we're about to be poisoned

whereas people in the past just ate it. That's right. Did I ever tell you about the time that I almost died from ingesting peanut butter? No. Well, I don't think this story's for the podcast, but I'll tell it real quick. I just told Hank the story of my experience

with getting really sick from eating peanut butter, which is unpeatable. I have told everyone that it's not allowed, but it's not because of how gross it is, which it is quite gross, but because there's people involved who have not consented to being in this story. Totally. Oh no, it's true, it's very true.

There's people who probably wish to be removed from John and Hank peanut butter discourse, and they have that right. Yeah, it's very true. There's, yes, there's people who probably wish to be removed from John and Hank peanut butter discourse. And they have that right. Yeah, that's right. It's good for you and tuna. Glad you and tuna got this story. Anyway, that reminds me, Hank, that today's podcast is brought to you

by Hank Green, who will eat anything. He will, he will. My friend sometimes call me a garbage can. Yeah, he's a garbage can. Of all the people with ulcerative colitis, he's the one who will eat anything. I just love food. It's so good. This podcast is also brought to you by The Clash Course. Clash Course. Glo gloves on glasses off. And of course, in addition to being brought to you by Hank Green, the mean green fighting machine, the jolly green giant, the green bean from

Missoula, in Missoula scene. Oh, that's it. The green bean from the Missoula scene. Today's podcast is also brought to you by John Green, the spectacle, it's spectacle. John Green, the spectacle, spectacle. It's been all downhill from there, John. I don't know why we kept making a podcast.

This podcast, this pop, this pop, this popsicle was also brought to you. This popsicle also comes to you from, from Gene, who I got a message to them in my yearbook, and I never noticed it until now. I'm sorry, Jean, I should have let you know a message. Well, that was. Hope you're well, Jean, never change. We also have a project for awesome message from Sage and to

Kobe. I've always wanted to get a shout out to embarrass you like a good sibling. Thank you for introducing me to vlog brothers all those years ago, though looking back, Hank Humphengh's in Mizzoula is a weird introduction. And thank you for being a great brother and friend. Maybe someday we'll start our own Deerhank and John podcast clone where you can talk about Nintendo news and I can talk about something love Sajan. That's so beautiful. And the only thing that I would add to it is have y'all considered a sibling boxing match for charity. Yeah, I mean, this is what, John, it's what we want.

No, it was perfect. That was perfect, Hank, that was super helpful. If you want to know what it's like to talk to Hank on the phone, it's like that. That is the next question, ready. That is the question, ready. I don't, Hank, first off, I don't doubt that you're getting the next question, ready. You're an amazing person and podcast partner.

Yeah. I'm just saying that everyone can tell. And I think that you don't know that every one of you know, people can tell. Yes. Now, this next question is an question. It's just piece of news. It's from Adi who says,

Deerank and John, I'm about to move across the country and my mother is flying out to help me drive. She and my dad are AAA members and they are bringing me new triptics for the drive. Whoa. That's awesome. So there are still triptics,

which are these things you can get from AAA, where they give you page-by-page instructions on how to make your way through the world. Yeah, well, page-by-page instructions on how to make your way through the world is if AAA would provide that for me, I would definitely be a member. Yeah.

Who can make that for me? Just tell me how to make the hard decisions. Yeah. Who can make who can make that for me? Just tell me how to make the hard decisions. It's like there's construction coming up. There's a bit of a traffic jam ahead. Yeah, right. There's a so I there was a thing on TikTok where people were sharing their surprisingly deep quotes from unlikely sources and I quoted that great Nintendo quits green line that

T Michael Martin used in his book, The End Games. The line is, everything not saved will be lost. Yeah. And somebody in the comments quoted, it said that their senior quote in their yearbook was from Google Maps. And it was something like, there is unexpected traffic ahead, but you are still on the right path.

So perfect. It's ideal. Yeah, that is what I want to have whispered to me all the time. There may be unexpected traffic ahead, but you are still on the fastest route. Yeah. Oh, goodness. Hank, it's been a great week for anonymous. We've got another question from anonymous who writes,

dear John and Hank, I would like to remain anonymous for this question in a case someone from my family is listening. I am 14 years old, which is peak. I'm afraid everyone I know is listening. But I remember being 14. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. My cousin has a switch and a PS4.

How do I learn to be grateful to God for what I have? What are some good ways to earn money for a 14 year old? DFTVA anonymous. So two questions here. One is, how do I learn to be grateful for what I have instead of focusing on others have? And the second question is, how do I learn to be grateful for what I have instead of focusing on others have? And the second question is, how do I get some money so I can get that switch? Yeah. So first of all, what you need to know is you probably didn't even need to

anonymize this because the number of people who are in this situation who have your exact name is probably pretty big. Because almost everyone has this problem. Well, yeah, but even the specific situation of not having a switch into PS4, whereas somebody else nearby has both. Yeah. It is a... And they probably don't even use it that much.

And they don't think about how good it is to have them. It's just like oxygen to them. Yeah, John has a gaming system. And when I was there last, I played a lot of this Spider-Man game that I think about all the time because I didn't get beat it. I haven't played it since you were here.

I know, I know that's exactly the situation. I got other stuff going on. I wanna play that game so bad, I wanna go to Indianapolis just to play that Spider-Man game. It was so fun. So anonymous, like this is not only a problem of 14 year olds and this is not only a problem that you have This is a problem that Hank has right now and it's

Really really common and I have it Sarah always makes fun. So there are moments when like I mean I always have this problem, but there are moments where it becomes really public So when they were I don't even know if I can tell the story. It's so bad It's like it's like that story that that mortifying story about Hank we can't tell. So Sarah has this line where she'll, in all kinds of situations, if I'm acting like ungrateful or untitled, or even if someone else is acting ungrateful or untitled, Sarah will say, Scott Westroffield got to see eight models because when they were designing the cover of paper towns they They really wanted somebody's face to be on it and they only showed me they only showed me a choice of two faces. Oh my god Can we tell that story is it too bad? Oh no, that is that has to stay in oh god

I love that so like I love that so much. Because like, like book titles are so, book covers are so the thing that like none of us have any right to complain about, because like who gets to have a book cover? Right, right, right. You're so lucky to have a cover. But it's happening to you, you're like, why on earth would they show me this monstrosity?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's because it's so personal. like why on earth would they show me this monstrosity? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's because so personal. So, I understand what I'm trying to do with this book. Yes, that it is so personal. And it also feels like the first work of fan art that is made about your book. And probably the only work of fan art

that we made about your book. And so, if you feel like they didn't get the book, it's like really hurtful, because you're like, oh, so the first person who read the book. And so if they, if you feel like they didn't get the book, it's like really hurtful because you're like, oh, so the first person who read the book who isn't my editor, like, doesn't, doesn't like it or doesn't get me. And I think that's part of it. So my only point is that this is a universal human phenomenon. And, and it's okay and normal to be envious of your constant who has a PS4 and a switch that

is super annoying. And I am also annoyed about it, even though I have a PS5. And not to make it more true, you anonymous. Sorry, sorry. But I never got to see two models for the... Let me just move on from that. But what I think works is to focus on what you have. Because if you focus on what you don't have, there will always be stuff you don't have. I know people who have all of the

video game systems and spend no time thinking about how great that is because they spend all their time thinking about the things they don't have which are legion. Yeah. And so, the way gratitude development works for me is by focusing on what can I be grateful for today. Like all through the pandemic, Sarah and I kept gratitude journals. We got our gratitude journals from Kurt Scazat and we kept these gratitude journals and we would just write little things that we were grateful for each day and it really, really helped me. Yeah.

So that's my honest advice. Yeah, I like to, I like to, to like sit in a place and think about all of the things around that people did, whether they did them a thousand years ago or within the last 24 hours that people did that are responsible for the things around that I have.

So that can be hot water. It can be all the people who are involved in getting water to my house and also the natural gas to my house to heat that water. And because I want that water, because it's an amazing luxury to be able to have a hot shower. Hank, it is time for the all-important news

from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. So as you will recall, I'll start. AFC Wimbledon has a new manager whose name is Johnny Jackson. Oh, I thought I was gonna be Cleo. No, it's the, just think of the most American, think of a name you cannot help but say in an American accent, and that is his name.

Johnny Jackson. You got it? Johnny Jackson. There you go. Johnny Jackson, Johnny Jackson, Johnny Jackson. Yeah, get it in. And since I've already completely forgotten about the other guy, he's out.

I don't care. He's gone. It's all about Johnny Jackson now. Also, I probably didn't, weren't like, no, even when it was happening. I forgot it before I needed to. So, Johnny Jackson has had his critical two first signings. One is Alex Woodyard, our captain last season who was also one of our best midfielders.

And he's signed a two-year contract. That's great. We're going to have him around. And also, we have made our first summer signing, 32-year-old central defender, Alex Pierce, who has all the experience that we lacked last season. Yeah. Sure, he's a little older. Maybe he's slowed down a bit, but he's got the...

Hopefully, he's a widely veteran type of character. So I'm hopeful that obviously we're going in a very different direction. We emphasized like youth and our academy last season didn't quite work out. So this time, we're going to be working with some more experienced players, which I think will hopefully give us that a little bit of the, you need a bit of cynicism. You need to not be too ideological or too idealistic when it comes to getting out of the fourth tier of English football or for that matter staying in the fourth tier of English football. And so I'm all for like an experienced central defender who knows how to slow down the

game when necessary and perhaps hold on to one of the 12 leads that we gave away in the last 20 games in the season. Yeah. Oh, wow. So because you lost so many games, you didn't have a lot of comebacks. You had a lot of comebacks. Oh, wow. But we had 12 leads in 20 games,

and we didn't win any of them. Damn. So that has to change. That's a pretty, you just need the, well, can you end the games earlier? Well, Hank, we still have not won a game in 2022. Could you talk to the reps and be like, can we end this one at 30 minutes? You got to blow the whistle.

First goal wins, first goal wins. That's the AFC Wembley then way. Score a goal, walk off the pitch, silver. Well, this week in Mars News, winter is coming to the Northern Hemisphere of Mars. And because of Mars's orbit, this is the first winter that the ingenuity helicopter is gonna have to deal with, which means that there's a lot of uncertainty

about how well the helicopter's gonna fare. So as winter approaches, the helicopter solar panels are gonna be getting less sun because of the shorter days, more frequent dust storms, and also just the angle at which the sun will be hitting the solar panels. Plus, the chunk of the battery power goes towards heating the helicopter, so the colder it gets, the more the heating has to do this stuff.

This has already caused some problems in recently NASA lost contact with the helicopter for two days, because the battery didn't last long enough. So NASA is preparing for winter by slowing down the ingenuity's flights, and focusing on transferring flight performance logs and updating software. In the meantime, they're also planning to use the heater less to conserve the helicopters' battery, given that winter's on Mars can get as low as negative 112 degrees Fahrenheit. There's a chance that turning off the heaters will damage the electronics. But if the helicopter can last, climate model suggests that the solar energy levels

could be back up by September or October. Also, it's worth noting that this is all a very exciting problem to have because it's the result of the fact that the ingenuity helicopter is still active, which was not planned on being. So it's just doing much more than it was originally supposed to do. So the fact that we've been able to get it this long is excellent. And now they're planning on how to try and extend the lifetime of the mission even further. So it's a cold winter, but it's a short winter. Yeah, I mean, the coldest part of the winter is short. It's okay. The winter is the same length because, wait, the winter alarm is technically even longer because it has a longer year.

Right, so like both Winter and Summer are longer. Wow. Winter on Mars. That does not sound like a good part of me. A hundred and twelve degrees below zero Fahrenheit, but you know, I mean, I guess Elon goes where he on wants. Oh gosh, John, thank you for making a podcast with me. If everybody, if you'd want to send us questions,

without which we don't have a podcast, you can send them to hankinjanajameil.com. We appreciate all of you for doing that. We're off now to record our Patreon only podcast. This week in stuff over at patreon.com slash dear hankin john, we also get access to monthly conversations with hank and me where we talk about boxing. Talk probably more honestly than we should. Podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Mettish. It's produced by Rosiana Halsey Rojas. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom. Her editorial assistant is Deboki Chakravarti and the music

you're hearing now. The music you're hearing now is the music you're hearing now, and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome.