Dear Hank & John - 336: Welcome to Wendy's

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

How do I learn to fart? Do I dream of invisible sounds? Can you use a vacuum inside a vacuum? What does "keep an ear out" mean? Why are hardcover books so expensive? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Where's that for good if you think of it Dear John and Hank? It's a podcast for two brothers answer your questions, give you a week's minstrel both Mars and ASC Wimbledon and... For Dubious Advice. For Dubious Advice John, do you know that Rick Astley will absolutely loan you any Disney movie? Except for one.

Oh he is never gonna give you off. will absolutely loan you any Disney movie. Except for one. Oh, he is never gonna give you off. Good job. That's a good joke. Hey, so listen, we need to talk about the elephant in the room, I think. Is it you, the fact that you are in the room? No. Because that, I don't think we haven't told people that that is an elephant in the room

Yeah, Hank and I are in the same place the same time. We're in lovely Southern California for assorted work obligations But the elephant in the room is that Hank and I were making a TikTok the other day a Collab as the young people call it. I was trying to jump on some of that Hank hype train. Okay, good, good. And I'm trying to get to that 2 million follower mark.

Which I did. Nice. And I saw in the reflection, like as I was recording the TikTok, I saw it in the selfie camera, a triangle. Right. On the inside of the door arm. This is a fantastic TikTok because the face, my brother made, when he found out,

I did not tell him that I got a tattoo, which is my first tattoo and the first tattoo and the entire green family. I don't even think any of our 17 cousins have tattoos. Ah, yeah. You think so? Oh, f***ing, I just can't talk about it. We don't talk about f***ing tattoo.

Why don't they f***ing probably got some too? But the point is that you have a tattoo. It is of a triangle. Tuna, are you gonna bleep those out or just cut it? Okay. They're public figures. Sure, sure. That's all I always think about.

Internet celebrity. So you have a tattoo of a triangle. It is a permanent tattoo. That is correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you chose not to tell me, or you just neglected to tell me. I felt like it would be a thing.

I just didn't want the thing to be a thing. Like you didn't want me to be like, I can't believe you got a tattoo, I'm so poor. I think it's just like, it's like, at any given moment there's something else to talk about. I just feel like if you'd said, John, I got a tattoo, I would've been like, that's great. That's so cool.

I'm really glad that you and your family... Well, here's I got a tattoo. I would've been like, that's great. That's so cool. I'm really glad that you and your family... Well, here's what happened with mom. Okay. Katherine told mom that I got a tattoo. And then mom said to me, do you have a tattoo? Oh, that's a little passive-aggressive.

That's what, like, what are you trying to catch me in a lie right now, mom? I'm 42 years old. Is this still happening? Anyway, I said, yes. I said, I said, what do you know? What do still happening? Anyway, I said yes. I said, I said, what do you know? What do you know? No, what do you know?

And then we fought like we were, I was a teenager. Really? No. Okay, good, good, good. I like the tattoo. I have a couple of constructive criticisms. Oh no. Don't do that ever.

No, one thing I've noticed about people is that they really like it when you give constructive criticisms of their tattoo that they can't change that's on their body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do, I really like it. I love a simple geometric tattoo. I'm a big fan of shapes.

And it's just a triangle. So I don't have an issue with it. It's just the fact that you got a tattoo and didn't tell me. I thought we were close. Like I've always thought of us as being close. And my shock was not like, I can't believe you got a tattoo.

My shock was, I can't believe I'm finding out you got a tattoo while filming a TikTok. Yeah. But like, isn't that the best possible way? Because you literally, I got your face on camera. In fact, if I had gotten my favorite Star Wars character on my face as a tattoo, you would have been super shocked,

but because you couldn't believe the Luke on my face. The Luke, Luke instead of Luke. That was tortured and not very funny. However, it reminds me that I went to Disneyland. Yeah, this, this, I was trying to get to Disney this whole time. Okay, good. So I went to Disneyland. Wait, it's like, you forgot, I also went to Disney today, though I went to California Adventure.

Right. Because we couldn't get tickets to Disney. Well, it turns out that you couldn't get tickets to Disneyland, because it's not like, oh, they decided like we have enough people. It's like, oh, decided like we have enough people it's like oh this is the maximum number. We've reached the point where one square foot of land is occupied by each person. Yeah. It was the most crowded experience I've ever had. I was shoulder to shoulder with so many strangers. I'll tell you California adventure was busy but, but it was not that busy. Oh, it was really. Also halfway through the day,

there was some lightning, and so that closes down like half the ride to Disney. Yeah. So the half that were open were like, well, I'm not going on those. I guess it's corn dog time. Good for you. Yeah.

I had a number of soft pretzels, which is my preferred Disney snack. It's only $6.75 these days for a soft pretzel. And I happen to know what the wholesale cost of a soft pretzel is. Because you know, I wanted to get into a business where we have the off-trendsil company. We sent you a soft pretzel every month. I once catered an event when you have 1,000 jobs during that period of your life. We have 1,000 jobs. And jobs during that period of your life we have a thousand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And suppose to this period of your life? And I came home with a lot of soft pretzels and I put them in the freezer and I ate a soft pretzel every day for over a month and it was glorious. Oh yeah, it's a great life. Yeah. I mean I really think that... Why don't I have a freezer full of soft pretzels all the time? I know that people are not crying out

for a soft pretzel subscription service, but it's one of those things that you don't think that you want or need, but that if it starts coming to your house, you'll never cancel it. Right. Maybe we make the first month free to hook them. That's it.

Yeah, no one will ever, no one can stop. No one can stop getting a free set of 4 soft pretzels available at their home once a month. Brand name for the soft pretzel subscription company 321. Awesome pretzel. Oh ****. It's an easy one. Alright, let's answer some questions from our list. Soft, Pritzopolis. That's the village that the soft pretzels come. Yeah, yeah, and I'm King.

It's a true company town. So they got this only one place of work. All right, this first question comes from Holly. You're John and Egg this weekend, I went into a surgery for spinal fusion and then a One place of work. All right, this first question comes from Holly who writes, Your John and Hank this weekend I went into a surgery for spinal fusion and then a couple things went wrong and the surgeon had just sliced me up and... Hank! Just don't look at your phone while I was trying to close it and start applying! I'll tell you one thing.

What? One of the great things about making the podcast with Hank in person is that it's great to be in his company. One of the bad things is that you find out how little of the time he's listening to you. What are you talking? I just noticed Lizzo left a comment on my TikTok. And Lizzo said your brother was the post before this one. So she saw yours too. And she knows that we're brothers.

Hank, did you need to know that? No, you have a problem. I have so many problems. But no this is a, Polly asks, do you know what kind of surgery she had? Not yet, you haven't said. I did say. The first time when I wasn't listening, I'm listening now. This week I wanted to surgery for a spinal fusion, but a couple things went wrong. By the way, Holly's had a terrible dayhank and you're not even paying attention to it. I'm open. Life was in danger. Trying to open the questions. And you're still looking at, for podcast questions.

I mean, how, like, that is your computer. It's all the way over there. Can we just briefly though talk about the problem and acknowledge that it's a problem? Oh, yeah. Okay. And this isn't an intervention, but it might someday be. We may have to have one. And I isn't an intervention, but it might someday be. We may have to have one, and I don't want to.

Holly has had a very serious set of events that you still have not heard about. There's a spinal fusion surgery. Something went wrong. My surgeon had to slice me open, sternum to fix it. Unfortunately, this now means I cannot really use my tummy muscles for normal body functions. My doctors and nurses really want me to regain these functions, starting with farting. But how does one

go about relearning to fart? Restarting, departed, farting, holly. Incredible names. We started to farting. Incredible names, specific sign-offs. Very good. Incredible question. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Oh, Hank, you fart all the time. What's the name? No one farts more than you. That's not true at all. There's a bunch of people who fart more than me.

But I fart a lot. And here's, I mean, I think that before you can get the muscles, first of all, it never occurred to me that you need stomach muscles to fart, but then, ever since I read this question, I've been doing it alone. You've been farting just for the, for Holly's sake. Just for research.

Okay, and you do need, you do need a, you need to do some, yeah. So I think you start out Holly, my, and I, listen, I'm not a doctor, and I'm certainly not a... Yeah, I feel like maybe the doctor isn't there like a physical therapist who just specializes in this?

I'm sure there is, but I think what you do is you begin by think farting. You're doing that? Yeah, just kind of doing... I think left side, first of all, body position is important. I don't know how much Holly's moving around. I don't know, I just like get me on the left side for a little bit.

Let me see how that goes. Is you turn on your left side? That's when you're most likely to. That's when I feel like, if I'm like, ah, I got some gas. If I lay on my left side, I'm like, ah, it's moving. I just wonder, like, do you practice with just the stomach before you begin to practice with the lower parts?

So just like, ab muscles upward. My inclination would be to work my way down in terms of my training. Mm, it feels like it's a deep lower ab thing, the fart. I've got a little bit above the belly button. Got a little bit above the belly button. Maybe everybody does a different. You don't have anything above the belly button.

You feel like I do, yeah, I feel like I just all low deep. Oh no, like I'm doing it right now. I'm right above the belly button. If I like wanna, if I wanna like I do, yeah, I feel like I just all low deep. No, like I'm doing it right now, I'm right about the belly button. If I wanna like, Trumpet out a big old blaster so that the whole room here is made another way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, maybe that's the issue.

I have, I'm though a lapetamine, but I have a lot, I have a lot of parts I could give you. What's lapetamine? Lapetamine is the man who fell into an Arctic ocean. He drew a tremendous amount of cold water during his fall into his rectum. And ever since then, like received the ability to basically do anything

with farts, like he could, like rudimentarally speak, he could play the trumpet. You don't buy it lapetamine. It's like the best, we're just like mental floss style, fact out there. Is he a lot of? No, this is a long time ago.

Well, that's very sad. And possibly wasn't real. Well, he died of normal. He was the performer in like Vaudeville days. I'm really glad that you mentioned that phrase because it's my least favorite phrase. This is gonna be the Hakejon argue episode. What, what did the, what did I do?

You said he died of normal causes. There's, and I really dislike that. Right. Or like the phrase, no, the literal causes. I really dislike the natural causes. It's like, because both normal and natural causes are a way of saying like,

he died a death that is acceptable to me. That I am able to compartmentalize without trouble. Given the year of his birth, he's bound to be dead at this point. That's great. Yes. That's what's what I'm trying to get across. What I one way there's no good way to do it. It's a very complicated thing But I think Holly the main thing we want is an update. We really yeah, yeah, we want to know how that goes because I think that you're gonna be the expert on this Yeah, we just think that like you Potentially like could have a new career on your hands Once you master this so we need to know how it goes and if you hopefully you don't turn into Le Petemade. Yeah. And yeah. How old was he when he died? 88. 88. Alright. So he had an okay run. Yeah.

He was, and interestingly, according to this, he did not fart, fart gas. He was able to draw air in and then expel it. What does something else? Yeah, no, I'm so glad I know that now. I'm sure you did at one point and you just forgot. Probably. This next question comes from Kaza who writes, where Kaza, who writes, dear John and Hank, every day when I walk to school,

I walk past a very large sign that says, are you dreaming about invisible sounds? Is that a thing? Like a billboard? Is there such thing? Like a billboard? Like a... Is there such a thing as a visible sound? Should I be dreaming about invisible sounds? What would happen if sound was visible? I'm also partly death, so maybe visible sound is what I want? Or is that nightmare? What's going on here? Kaiser. So Hank, my Google friends. Yeah. Are you dreaming about invisible sound?

Which is what they must have wanted you to do. And no one has ever used it on Google. So that's not what they wanted you to do. Or if it is what they wanted you to do, they failed miserably in their attempts to take up these sites. Or they intentionally picked a sentence that is sort of LaCuna. Right. Like a Google LaCuna. Right. Yes.

And I love a Google. A Google. Hmm. That might be worse. I love the idea. So initially I was like, this is a dumb sentence. Yeah. Are you dreaming about invisible sounds?

It sounds a little bit like a 19 year old got access to a sign. Totally, it's like pretentious bullet. I'm sorry to all 19 year olds. No, no, no. A 19 year old job. Okay, yeah, for example. For example, mid career John Green got a hold of the sign. I get it.

I know what you mean. That's what it sounds like. It sounds like sort of pretentious, but ultimately maybe empty. Like void of meat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it sounds really good and the more you look at it, there's a lot of sentences like that in English literature that like the writer was so enamored with the sound of them

that they got in there. They got in the book. And it's in like, wooply now or whatever. Totally, I think it's put it all the time, but then you're like, and I know what that means. Or actually that's something that is known. Right, right, that's an obvious.

Either that's obvious, or like I actually disagree with that segment. I wrote a whole lot of notes. I wrote a whole chapter about this in the Anthropocene Review book because there's that beautiful sentence in Gatsby where he talks about how for a transitory enchanted moment man must have looked at the presence of this continent,

seeing for the last time something commensurate with man's capacity for wonder, which is such a great line that you don't realize that like, no. But anyway, that's this kind of sentence. But then when I found out that it's not on Google, I went all the way around to like, oh actually it's a brilliant sentence. Any sentence that's not on Google that makes up any kind of sentence

is a brilliant sentence at this point. Are you dreaming about invisible sounds? It's not long either. Are you dreaming about invisible sounds? All sounds are invisible, right? All sounds, hmm. I guess like if the sound is really loud and it like blows a... yeah. Art or glass off of a... off of a... yeah you can... there are ways there are times in which sound can become visible as... so like sound being a pressure wave.

If you are in a situation where the pressure wave is strong enough and the humidity is like in the perfect spot The humidity and temperature and pressure are all on the perfect spot. The sound we can actually be visible as a condensation wave Oh, so you can like like basically a cloud will form along with the sound But most of the time you're dreaming about sounds you're dreaming about invisible sounds Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,, everything else is invisible when you're dreaming. No. In that it is inside of the mind. Oh God. Was that true?

But if I have a dream where I see things, those things are visible, right? Well, we're not going to get to the bottom of this one. Okay. I think it's a commonstruck. I have gone all the way from thinking, I don't like the sentence to thinking that I do like the sentence. Yeah, and are you dreaming about invisible sounds?

Is that it? Yeah. They're called information voids. When someone is like, you should Google this, specific string and that takes you, so it's basically like instead of having a URL, you're like, I have been the only person to say this phrase a bunch.

And so you can search for that. It's often used in sort of misinformation circles where like, so that you can get people to the misinformation around Google's like, desire to not promote misinformation. You create a new term for something, and that's a void where the only thing you search for is things that they want to come up, come up.

Is that true? Yeah, an information void. Okay, but for the record, if you Google, are you dreaming about invisible sounds? It's not like a bunch of conspiracy theory. No, no, no, but this isn't an information void because it doesn't exist at all. So information for it's actually have a thing that takes you

but it takes you to the specific thing that they want you to see. Okay, so the idea is that eventually, maybe they're weighing the groundwork now. Right. I mean, I want to know more about this sign. Is it like on a Wendy's, like on, like the letters under the Wendy's sign,

or is it a billboard? It really is. It's just like a yard sign, like a political... I hope it's a Wendy's with like an ambitious owner, slash person puts up the daily messages of affirmation and sales. I mean, Wendy's going all in on cryptic Yes, with sign messages

Wendy's going full night bill Yes We'll be amazing Amazing And it totally rebranded and it's like blue and black and grey and silvery Yeah And it's sort of haunted mansion vibe when you go into a Wendy's And there's like, there's like whispers coming from the speakers

instead of music. It's like those first comes to the speakers. Country music? Yeah, that's that our point. Do you feel a void emerging within you that's like a canyon except you yourself must cross it? You have to cross the canyon that is yourself. Yes.

Yeah. Welcome to Wendy's. Are you dreaming of invisible sounds? Would you like to try the new triple bacon cheddar sandwich? And while you're at it, would you like to try to engage for the first time with the reality of your situation as a human, frail, dying, afraid, and ultimately alone. I mean, I know Wendy says like a terrible time recruiting of things right now because they don't pay enough, but like, that seems like a great way to get around it. Yeah, I would work at Wendy's if it became like a haunted mansion of existential dread like would you like to supersize your dread?

Which makes him a biggie-sized crisis with that When is this biggie, right? Yeah, the only way the only way I'm giving you a frosty is if you look me dead in the eyes and say, I don't know why I'm here and I understand that I never will. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I don't know if we answered the question, but I think we got to do it. I don't know what it by don't know what it means. I think we did what we were supposed to do. Yeah. Megan says, can you use a vacuum inside a vacuum? Ooh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Doesn't it do it by electricity? What? You have to, okay. Yes, you use the electricity to create the area of what pressure. And that pulls stuff from the area of high pressure.

Okay, but my argument is this, if what a vacuum does at its core, a vacuum cleaner. A vacuum cleaner? Yes. I don't know what a vacuum of space does at its core. I don't think any of us do. That's actually one of the things that Wendy's...

What's this talk about? What is the difference between emptiness and nothing? Welcome to Wendy's. We understand that vacuum exists, but why? Welcome to Wendy's. The space between two things is nothing, but it exists. Welcome to Wendy's. The space between galaxies exists is nothing and is expanding at an accelerating rate. So here's my argument about a vacuum cleaner. If you could somehow plug it in in a vacuum or get electricity to it in a vacuum,

the wheels would still spin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the wheels would spin, and that's as you can vacuum a vacuum. You're not going to get anything up into your who's he was, but you're not gonna do that anyway. You're not vacuuming the vacuum, though. You're the thing spinning, but nothing's happening. You're wondering if you can get a vacuum.

You're not sucking anything into, yes, of course. There's nothing too sucking in. Well, no, no, no, it's not just that. It's like, it's, it, but I would actually argue that if that is vagabagane thing, there's nothing to suck in, it's, it, but I would actually argue that if that is vague, I mean, there's nothing to suck in then like the vacuum, it doesn't matter what the pressure of differentiation is, there's no thing to suck. There's no thing to suck.

I don't know, I mean, the bag. It feels like it matters to me. Why? I don't know. It feels like it matters to like the reason that you can't vacuum a vacuum isn't that there's nothing there It seems to me that it is well So so old so if the pressure inside of the vacuum

Yeah was a positive pressure and and the thing outside of the vacuum was the same positive pressure It still would not vacuum it would not do with vacuuming even there was something there. And so the problem is that the pressure is inside and outside of the vacuum cleaner is the same. I think the problem is that there is nothing to vacuum. Well, I think it's totally possible that we have proved the same fact in two different ways. I think that's the situation. Well, I think my proof is vastly more elegant. Well, now we're mathematicians. Like that's what math actually is. That's the real math is mathematicians arguing about whether their proof is better. Regardless of the fact that both of them do prove the thing.

I feel like my proof would be the annals of mathematics and your proof would be in vacuum months. I disagree. I think mine is more math and yours is more like the vacuum doesn't have anything to suck on. Okay, but I would argue that is the much more fundamental issue. Welcome to Wendy's. All right. Hank, there have been a number of questions related to horses in Montana. Okay. I think I don't know if some viral YouTuber made a video. I don't know what happened, but I feel like we have to answer one of them. This one is from Alexis, who works to your

John and Hank. I know Hank lives in Montana. I just recently heard that there is a wall that if you ride a horse to school, the principal must care for that horse while the student is in class. Is this a real thing? Does the principal have to have knowledge on horse care in order to get the job as a principal in Montana? Could I have been saving money on gas this whole time by riding a horse, keeping it real Alexis?

Well, their last name is real. John, I have taken some time to Google, and it seems like this is a real law. Yeah. But it's one of those laws. Yeah. I take a lot of these. Anytime you hear a weird law on today, I weren't on the reddit, or you hear a weird law on a YouTube

video compilation? It's worth remembering that most of these weird laws are still on the books precisely because they are never a problem. Yeah, why would you get rid of a law that is not a problem? It's not like it's taken up a bunch of space. Nobody's like, wow, so many people are bringing their forces to school and the principals have to care for them

and it's a massive, unending issue. Though apparently three or so years ago a bunch of students found out about the law and did write their horses to school and the school had to take care of them. Now you're the reason that they're gonna have to get rid of the law. Which of course, like they will if it becomes a problem. They will if enough kids. And there was a time when it was important for people who would get to school on their horses to have some place, some way to have their horses be taken care of while they were in school.

Otherwise, kids couldn't get education. Yeah. But no one to your idea is their horses to school anymore in Montana. Not nobody. Three kids did it two years ago. And the folks in Montana generally And nobody three kids did a few years ago. And the folks in Montana generally find the horse stereotypes to be a bit much.

Oh, do you think? We do, we hear it a lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're like, oh, the horses. And it's like, it's just a state. Do you have a horse? Well, I didn't think you had a horse, but I also didn't think you had a tattoo. So I'm going to explore the surprises for me.

Yeah, welcome to Wendy's. The you never know if someone has a horse. This question is from Caitlin who asks, dear Hank and John, I have an issue with the phrase, keep an ear out for. Like what? How do I keep an ear out? Is this just like a semi mid-south Oklahoma saying, thank you I keep an ear out? Is this just like a semi-mid-south Oklahoma saying? Thank you. Keep an ear out, Caitlin. I have heard this before. I have a theory about it that's probably wrong.

Which is that places where you say keep an ear out are places where I don't want to say Caitlin that there's not a lot to look at, but places where sound travels. Let me see if it's different. I have heard this before. We're more accustomed, I think, to hearing keep an eye out for something like keep like, keep looking for something. Still awful weird. It is weird, but what I like about keeping ear out for is that it's much more realistic because sound travels over very long distances. And so you can keep an ear out for the train even if you can't see it because you'll be like the train is here. I don't tell from the beef.

Yeah, well I like the idea with a hoop, a hoop. I like the idea that you're not keeping an eye out, like if you're not keeping an eye out for something, you're just like closed your eyes. You're like, I'm done, I'm not looking. I put the sleep mask on and wrap my head with an ice-banded gem. I think when people say keep an eye out for, they mostly mean like, hey, don't check TikTok every 13 seconds.

Keep an eye out. Keep an eye out. Keep an eye out for that package. But I'd rather keep an ear out like if I was. I'd rather have both all of my sensing organs in. Mm. Like connected to my body, like not, like definitely not out of my house.

Out of what? What if, yeah, I think it's keeping ear out of what? Out of what? You can hear it out. Well, come to Wendy's. For. Keep an ear out. For. It's not of though. Keep can do out for keeping your out. For.

It's not of though, keep an ear out for. What am I keeping it out of for something, prepositions? This is, the more I think about it, the less I like it. Yeah, which is the opposite of our Wendy's. I actually think that is better. Get better and better. That's a rebrand that that would crush. Yeah, but I don't even think that has to do the whole thing.

I think that just the message is on the board. Yeah, well, you start with just the messages on the board. And then it gets creepier and creepier and creepier. People like, why is Wendy's going full creepy? And all the kids are like, time, it shouldn't go to Taco Bell anymore. Yeah, Taco Bell became cool for, and it still has been like the cool kid place. For like like 30. Yeah, they have to reinvent themselves every six months. How did I don't know how they do it

But they do it Wendy's it's right there. It's gotta get super weird that how weird though You've gotta become you've got to go to a place where Taco Bell's like that doesn't seem safe for our brand seems safe for our brand, our brand is low quality. Oh, I love it. I love it so much. It reminds me, actually, that today's podcast is brought to you by Hank and John's Takeover of Wendy's. Hank and John's Hostel Takeover of Wendy's. We're pouring all of our dear Hank and John Patreon.

Right, forget it. We're not paying for such show and grab stores for our split up anymore. We're hoarding it so that we can have a hostile takeover of Wendy's cost. We're gonna need all of everybody to give us $10 each. It can't be that much for Wendy's. How much is it? John does look it up. What's Wendy's?

Three billion. Three billion. How many people listen to Dear Hengen John? I mean enough that they each have to give a million dollars. What's three billion divided by 200,000? You'll be shocked. 15. The answer is 15,000.

I know. Okay, so we need everybody to give us 15,000. I mean, that's like, that's less than most college educations and you get Wendy's. You're saying we, but first off, what we're saying to them is take out some student loans. We're saying to them. Don't get an education. Give us your life savings because we are going to decrease its size.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna make Wendy's awful. We're gonna take. It's gonna maybe not exist in a matter of months. What I can tell you is our branding ideas are probably pretty bad, but our how to run a restaurant ideas are definitely bad. So bad.

Like our meat logistics knowledge is very low. So cute. Like I don't know what I don't know about meat logistics. The the unknown unknowns are many. Yeah, taken from the taken from the two guys who's favorite fast food restaurant racks was killed by a single advertising campaign. We can do this. This podcast is also brought to you by Meet Logistics. Meet Logistics. Somebody's gotta do it.

Bananas. It's a good work if you can get it. Today's work is also, today's podcast is also brought to you by the vacuum vacuum. Oh. The reason it won't work is because you can't vacuum nothing. And also this podcast is brought to you by an ear. An ear. Keep it out.

Keep one out for something. We also have a project for awesome message from Mallorca from Minneapolis. To my family now with 50% more humans, fits. Welcome to the earth buddy. I can't wait to watch you grow and help guide you to be a loving, thoughtful, compassionate human. Hannah, congratulations and welcome to Motherhood. You will be an amazing mother and you are exactly the partner I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you both very much. Lovely, thank you so much for that. That is beautiful. Welcome to the world, Fitz. John, you know what Kurt Vonnegut said about that? No, welcome to the world, babies. It's hot,

Bonnigat instead of that. No, welcome to the world, babies. It's hot, wet, and crowded, and there's only one rule. You got to be kind. Ah. John, I have a question I'd like to ask you, because I hope that you have an answer for it, because I also would like to know it deep desperately. It's from Maddie who asks, dear Hank and John,

what Hank? No, don't ask me, ask John. Why is an absolutely remarkable thing priced at $40 for a hardcover? I wanted to buy the hardcover since listening to your podcast, but I definitely can't afford it at $40. I also don't recall ever seeing a hardcover price that high. I appreciate you so much, but I am confused.

23 without finding a name specific, anything Maddie. What the heck's going on? That's wild. I do not like this. The first thing you should know, Maddie, is that Hank does not decide the price of the hard cover. Sure, but that's also not the price of the hard cover. Right, but the hard cover is not widely available. This is a very weird thing about publishing that it just needs to get over. Like, people, I'll give you an account or example.

Currently, on Amazon, the only paperback edition of the Anthropocene Reviewed is the large print edition, which is for people who like to read with much larger text in the market. That's very weird. But the reason is, it's because the paperback isn't out yet because traditionally, hard covers come out. Yeah. And then a year year later paperbacks come out. But contemporary readers, a lot of them

don't know about this weird rule that exists for no reason, except they try to generate more money. But they, and so they expect, I think, quite reasonably, to be able to choose how they want to read a book. If they want to read a book and on the audio, they want to be able to do that from day one. Paperback from day one, hard cover from day one. If they want to buy like a special really beautiful edition, an amazing cover, they want to be able to do that from day one. And some people have figured this out, but these billion dollar publishing companies just simply haven't figured it out. Well they definitely don't want to figure it out because they like to have that more expensive year of hard covers before paperbacks which are chicks.

Yes, and I guess I understand that, but if they were making premium hard covers, they could more than make up for that, right? If they were making, if there was, I'd be'd be a $40. And it was worth that. And absolutely remarkable. Yeah. That was worth $40 because it was because it, because it, but right now this hardcover is just not being sold by, not being sold by Amazon or, or my publisher, it's being sold by some random person. Yeah. And that, and that's what happens at Amazon when a book is no longer available from the publisher, because the publisher is like, Oh, no, the hardcover's over. We're in paperback now. And we'll be in paperback now.

And we will never make hardcover's again. We'll be in paperback for the rest of forever, because that's how books work. Right. But that's only how books work, because the publisher, because that's what they've decided to consumers. Yeah. And so I would argue that if you have both the hardcover and the paperback available at the same time,

and you're just meeting the needs of your customers, a lot of them will still buy hard covers because they're pretty, they like to have them on a shelf, they hold up better, whatever. Yeah. And the ones you want paperbacks and you paperbacks. And instead of the situation where right now a lot of people wait for a year. Yeah. And so you get to, to like, you don't get like all the sales at once.

Yeah, you don't get all the so you and you also don't like build up the as much attention and interest and and the word of mouth and everything and this was something I think we've seen with an absolute remarkable thing because it is such a good book. It it it had it's like big initial life where it sold a lot of copies mostly to people who knew who you were who were were nerdfighters, etc. and then it's had this second life where the rest of the world has discovered it. But I actually think that second life would have happened fast if the paperback had been available immediately. And so I feel quite strongly that this is the wrong way to do it. And the fact that right now

the Anthropocene Reviewed Large Print Edition is selling better on Amazon than the Anthropocene Reviewed Hardcover, which is the edition that like my publisher thinks is the only edition. And the large print edition is just something they do as an afterthought, but like people don't understand that. So they don't think they're buying the large print edition in the vast majority of cases. They think they're just buying a paperback that costs 60 cents less and they like paperbacks. Yeah, they want a paperback. Well, what I can say is that DFTBA.com has a hard cover

of an absolutely remarkable thing for sale for $10.80. There you go. But so we've set that at a very cheap price. It's cheaper than the paperback on Amazon. But you do have to pay for shipping, which is probably five or six dollars. But it's still way less than 40. Yes. So that is available.

And if everybody could go and get it, that would be great because there are taken up space in the warehouse. And Josh would like the naked rid of them. All right, Hank. Before we get into the all-important news from Mars and ANC Wimbledon, I just have to have in the warehouse and Josh would like them to get rid of them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha originate, is there a way out that's more practical? How would you rearrange it? Cooper, well Cooper, as it happens, I Not to brag have written what I think is the Yeah, authoritative text on the Quarty keyboard and how it got that way better than what you were going to read everywhere else Well, I don't think that anyone's ever written a lot of people like right little blog posts

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah mind is much more research Yeah, those blog posts a lot of those blog posts out posts. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mine is much more research. Yeah, those blog posts. A lot of those blog posts have the wrong, because their story is really fun a lot of times. And I've been reading it. It's just like it's the... That's true. The thing that comes along.

Yeah. But the real story of the Quarty keyboard, there are some people, there are a lot of people who have written about it. But I have also written about it in the Anthropocene Reviewed book. There's a whole chapter about it if you want to learn more. So get that book, but don't get the large print edition.

Just get the regular one. Or get the large print edition if you wanted. It's up to you. Hank, what is the news from Mars? Oh, so you're not gonna tell us anything about the Quarity Keyboard. You're just gonna make people buy a book. But I just sold people my book. It mine's $10.80.

Mine's like 16. You can get both. Get both. I all say about the 40 keyboard man, is the reason nobody's ever written about it is because people generally don't write about slow, iterative change that involved thousands or tens of thousands of collaborators working together

rather than like one individual genius emerging from nowhere to take over the world. Yes, but we will not change the keyboard layout unless we lose a keyboard for a period of time and then need to get them back. That's the only way that it would happen and that I think would be a bad outcome. In the exact same way that alphabetical order is older than any word. Right. Right. What's the news from Mars? In news from Mars, the perseverance rover is traveling and seeing interesting sites along the way. Thanks to Mastcam Z, Mastcam Z, which is a camera, we're getting to see some of those interesting things. And on June 12th, the rover snapped a picture of a weird rock formation and the Jezero crater. You want to look at this rock?

Yeah, so freaking cool on one side of the picture is It kind of looks like pride rock from the Lion King Except if pride rock also looked like a snake with its mouth open and in the background You can also see a boulder balancing on top of another larger rock. It's just sitting there. Oh, like a Karen. Yeah, like somebody did that, but they didn't. James Rice, a geologist working on the Mastcam Z team told Gizmodo that those rocks are

sometimes called PBRs, which stands for precariously balanced rocks. This rock might have formed when wind or chemical erosion wore down local bedrock and shaped it. Do you think there's any possibility that that guy's buddies were like, listen, if you can get... If you can... The word PBR and do it in the same way. Yeah, they were drinking. I will buy you a case of PBRs.

So the PBRs are scientifically useful because they can tell you about the Mars quakes that did not happen, because when you got a rock balanced on another rock, then you can tell the ground around it has not moved enough to knock that rock over. And that capacity, PBRs are also sometimes known as reverse seismometers. Oh, I love it. On June 13th, the rover also took a picture of a silvery material found stuck between two rocks. It was our trash.

It's just a pop bottle top. Well, yeah, yeah, it's some foil that came from the Thermoblanket. So we got some PBRs on Mars. We got some PBRs on Mars and some reverse seismometers on Mars. Well, the news for Nancy Wimbledon is that Johnny Jackson, our new manager, has put together with the help of the rest of the club, our pre-season schedule, the season starts in August

tank, so it's getting there. We don't currently have enough players, but that's neither here nor there. You'll get them. We have a pre-season schedule. We are playing three teams at Plow Lane, so like three teams at home. Ibswitch Town, best known for having a logo where a horse is holding a football. So Wild logo. Redding Football Club, which is spelled like reading, but pronounced

redding, and Oxford United. Because the Reading Football Club would be a totally different thing. Totally different vibe. And Oxford United. So if you happen to be in London, July or early August, I cannot recommend enough going to all three of those games. I think you can get tickets to all three games for just 24 pounds or $6,000. I don't know how to. So you get tickets to the games and if a swimmer has enough players, they will play sports. That's right. They'll play sports and you can see the word DFTBA on the back of still doing a hunt. They're shorts. Is that better? Is the fact that they got demoted

like good for our sponsorship dollars? I know, less now. I requested the same price. Okay. They didn't raise the price on us when they got promoted. So I figured we'd have to cut the price on them when they got, that's great.

Yeah. Well, thank you for bonding with me. We're off to eat dinner with our families. Yes. But before we do that, we're gonna record this week and stuff our Patreon only podcast, where you can find out at www.dairahank.com slash Dear Hank and John.

Thanks John. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tudor Mettish. It's produced by Rosie on the Huls Roe House. Our editorial assistant is to Bocajok of Arty. Our head of community and communications is Julia. Julia Bloom. Julia Bloom. Julia Bloom, who we just got to hang out with. Yeah.

It's really fun. Yeah. It's also really fun to hang out with everybody else on the team. Anyway, the music that you're hearing now at the beginning of the podcast is by the great gunner roller. And as they say at our local Wendy's, the end is coming. Don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome.