Dear Hank & John - 337: Reserved for Mateys

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

What's up with all the giraffe sex? Why is it easier to keep a moving bicycle upright? How does my stomach growl? Why were dinosaurs so big? What are some interesting skills to have? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John! Dores, I prefer to think of it dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your question, give you the advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, as you may or may not know when you got COVID, like I did, it's really important to eat a lot of ants. Because as you may know, they have antibodies. I, as a pity laugh, I wanna be very clear about that.

I'm sorry that you got COVID, and not only that you got COVID, but that you've been quite ill with it for several weeks. And as a result, this entire episode, I will be deferential and kind to you and pretend that your jokes are funny even when they're not. I want to be clear though, Hank, I want you to feel the pity dripping through the phone

right now. Okay. All right. I don't you don't you I can feel it from you. It's just you. I can feel it from everybody else listening. Whenever I'm really sick really should he even be doing this? Whenever I'm really sick, there's a fascinating phenomenon where the only thing people

are able to give me is the one thing I really don't want, which is their sympathy. I mostly want them to be like outraged on my behalf. Oh, okay. This is horrible. I'm so sorry that you're sick, not in like a pittying way, but in a somewhat angry way, like how could an only arguably alive virus have upended your life in such a profound way? Anyway, I'm sorry you got COVID, not in a sympathetic

pittying way, but in an actively angry way. It's not fair, you shouldn't have gotten COVID. I'm mostly all I want from people is what I have been given, which is the grace of them being like, please don't feel like we need you right now. This is not on you. Don't worry about it. We're good. Yeah. And also this is not the other thing. This is not your fault, which is a thing that we do a lot to people who are sick and I get it with colitis sometimes, and people are like, have you tried this diet?

And I'm like, what? Getting from that is that like, I have a severe autoimmune disease that's very complicated and that doctors are still working to understand. And when you say like, have you tried apples, that makes me feel a little bit like you think this is my fault. And it's not my fault.

And I need you, I need us all to be on that page together. Or when people blame you for individual flares by saying something like, well, did you eat seeds? Then it's on you. And it's like, oh, did I get stressed out? I don't know. Have you seen things? It's like the classic, it's like the classic thing that airline pilots say when they come in over the intercom and they're like, please remain calm. And you're like, no, no, like, I can't remain calm.

Not because the moment I heard your voice click in with its slight quiver. I got very scared. You know, panic is not the correct response. Panic is never the correct response. That's why it's called panic. I'm not. Right exactly. I'm not panic because I think it's the right thing to do. Exactly.

I'm not a robot. I wasn't, nobody programmed me and said, don't panic in this moment. In fact, my programming says panic, please, by all means. Well, John, this disease sucks, and we should do what we can to prevent ourselves from getting it. I'm so, I'm so, so sorry that you've been so sick.

And it's so important to mask, which I didn't do enough. And I, Well, Hank, we're not blaming, we're not blaming the sufferer for the disease. Here's what I will say about it. It has been really hard to see you be so sick, and I'm really glad that you're starting to feel better. I have at times felt, especially with mom and dad, like they were almost unaware of who is the main character of the story, because they kept coming to me and being like

How is Hank feeling how is Hank doing how is Hank's family doing with all of this and I was like what about me mom? Like how am I doing I the protagonist of our family's story? I think that this is not hard for me. I am going through a difficult period. I am having to worry about my brother, who is arguably the second or third most important character in the story. You know, like, we should worry. Why isn't anybody asking about me? Well, and honestly, I do think that's important.

I think it's important that we look at the, like, this is legit. I think it's important that we look at the people around who are also having to deal with hard things and allow that's even because their hard thing isn't the hardest thing nearby. It does not mean that it's not a hard thing. And I've been reading this book that you've been talking about

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. And what a great thing so far. Like, it is such a good book. You know, only a third of the way through it but oh my gosh yeah the thank you for suggesting the book is called tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow it's by Gabrielle's Evan and it is truly extraordinary it's like reading the adventures of Cavalier and Clay or something it's just a phenomenal book I it's been a very years and years since I read something that struck me so profoundly. I know Gabrielle a little bit. Her first novel elsewhere came out around the same time

as looking for Alaska. We walked in the same circles for a while. It is really wild to read a book and it is really wild to read a book that good, that you think could be like in print in a hundred years and think, I kinda know that person. Yeah, you know, like they seem like a fairly regular, regular person, but there's regular human wrote a novel that is just extraordinary. Yeah. So it's been super comforting and interesting

to have be a COVID companion. And I'm coming off of reading a lot of classics and it doesn't feel like I've shifted gears at all. It feels like I'm still reading a classic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it really does. I mean, it also has a lot to teach us, I think, because the book is so much about creative collaborations and how they work and how they break down and how they have to be nurtured. And something when I, I mean, I don't

want to get sentimental, but the last few weeks have forced me into a little bit of sentiment. And something that I've been thinking a lot about is that we have actually done a pretty good job of nurturing our creative connection over the years, but it is something that has to be paid attention to. Like, it doesn't happen on its own. It's easy for fissures to develop and for distance to be created. And I just, I feel so lucky that after 15 years of working so closely together, I just want to keep doing it for as long as I'm here. Well, I know that it's been a lot of work on both of our parts, but I want to give a special shout out to me for having done most of the work. Oh, it's so true. I mean, Hank, on the subject of how challenging I am to work with and I do understand that you have done some of the work on that front. Can I read to a recent

Goodreads review of the Anthropocene Reviewed? Okay, yes. I love Goodreads reviews of the Anthropocene Reviewed. It's my favorite literary genre. I know that it's bad for me, but I can't help myself. Um, he quotes too much poetry and complains a lot. That was the full review. John, do you want to go deeper into the history of vlog brothers with this question from Hetvy? Sure. Who asks, dear Hank and John, hello, wanna go deeper into the history of vlogwriters with this question from Hetvin? Sure.

Who asks, dear Hank and John, hello, I'm a fairly new nerd fighter, despite loving Crash Course. And I was just wondering, why are the majority of popular vlogwriters videos about giraffe sex and goat birth? Was this a popular topic back in the day or did many people watch them because they were simply curious?

I love that there was like a past. Right. There was like, you know, that phase. Right. In the early 2010s, when people were just really into Giraffe sex. Yeah. It was it was like that in Gangnam style, you know. Right.

And now we're nostalgic for it. Like that's how bad things have gotten. That we're like, can we just go back to the world of Gangnam style and giraffe sex videos? It's a great question. Well, honestly, that sounds like a fantastic idea. I would like that. There was a comment on a vlog by those videos that I think about almost every day.

And it was a comment in one of the giraffe sex videos. And the comment was, please make more hot videos about animals and other. I remember that comment. And I think about that. That's legendary. That's a legend status comment. more hot videos about animals and other. I remember that comment. And I think about... That's legendary. That's a legend status comment.

And I think about and other almost every day. What was and other? Why have all the adjectives in the English language? Did you pick hot, et cetera? I think a lot about that comment. So in the early days, you two picked your thumbnail and you did not have any set. You could not upload a custom thumbnail. The thumbnail had to be from the video.

And in the early early days, YouTube always picked the exact central frame of your video, the exact middle of your video. And can you believe it? It was controversial. Like they didn't want to let creators pick their thumbnails. Creators had to advocate for that. Yeah. And it was just a wild thought to me now. But I was making a video and I had a book, I don't even know where I got this book, that was illustrations, like pretty colored pencil illustrations of animals, I think sex. And I intentionally held up the giraffe sex page during the exact middle. And I did it in a way that you wouldn't notice if it was just you were watching it.

But I knew exactly what I was doing because creators would make their central frame something that was more eye catching. And I thought that would be hilarious. And I was talked about animal sex in that video. I think it's a very important thing. Very well. It did great.

It was our best performing video, other than the video that got featured on the front page of YouTube and our first year on YouTube. I think it's really important to note that even though now we are thought of as like these sort of old school creators who do it the right way and aren't in it for the audience and just want to like make the world better. Like, I hope that that is true of us, but we contain multitudes. And Hank and I click baited not all the time, but we we click baited some of the time for sure. Yeah. And we did it because we wanted audience. Yeah. And that that video is now not in our not in our top. But it. So that was the first. It was early on. And I remember getting an email from one of our people

at YouTube and that was like, you'd be disappointed. They were like, not in this one, but in a different one. And they were like, why would you do this? And it's like, uh, because I really wanted to use. Yeah.

And by the way, there are a lot of nerd fighters. Hundreds, maybe even over a thousand who trace their own journeys into nerdfighteria through a goat giving birth like yeah, and the reason honestly a goat giving birth better better than the drafts and the reason we made goat giving birth Videos was because our parents owned goats. And like it was, we would be visiting our parents and there would be a goat giving birth. And we would be like, well, I guess that's going to make a really popular YouTube video. I got to make some kind of video today. Yeah.

Right. But the other thing, Hank, is sometimes when I think about how did we start making educational content on YouTube, I think you held up this picture that for a flash, show giraffe mating, it got a lot of views. And then one of us, I think it was you made a video that was actually all about giraffe mating, which turns out to be fascinating. So after that video did well. Yeah, we stopped, we like intentionally,

so that video wasn't even about giraffesx. It just had the thumbnail. Yeah. And then after that one did well, we startedaffesets. It just had the thumbnail. Yeah. And then after that one did well, we started to make videos, like we made at least two videos about giraffesets. At least I think you, maybe more.

You did two of them. You have the two most popular ones. I think you did the giraffesets videos, John. I think you were jealous of mine doing well. And you were like, I'm gonna take yours that got a million views. And I'm gonna make one that gets 16 million views. Very positive.

Our most viewed video. But the thing, the other piece of this puzzle is that, for a long time, YouTube measured the success of a video based on one factor, and that's whether or not someone clicked on it. They did not measure how much people disliked it once they watched it,

or how long they spent watching it. All they cared about was whether it got clicked on. When that changed, those videos ceased getting views. So now those giraffes X videos get no views because YouTube doesn't show it to anybody because people actually click on it and they are disappointed and they don't want the whole video because they thought they were gonna get

to watch giraffes having sex. And instead instead they just get a description of how it happens, which I guess isn't as... Not really what they want. Quite as thrilling. Yeah. I was going to say that when I look at when we started making truly educational content on YouTube, I turned to the Jurassic SX videos. Like that was for the first time really trying to explore and explain complicated issues of biology in relatively straightforward terms. And so did Giraffe sex inevitably lead to crash course? Kind of. Sure. And if that's the case, then I think we made the right choice.

Yeah, we could have made an animal mating channel, but instead we made Crash Course. Yeah, that's right. Please make more hot videos about animals and other. Oh my gosh. It's a world, John. We exist inside of it. All right, obviously Hank and I would be happy to sit in our rocking chairs and chat about the good old days of YouTube to our grandchildren But let's move on and answer at least one other question from our listeners. Yeah, beginning with this one from L

Who writes to your John and Hank while on holiday in Paris? I wrote a bicycle This is something I haven't done since I was a child, and contrary to popular belief, it was not very easy to pick up again. I, in fact, I fell off many times. Why is it that when a bicycle is stationary, it tips over, but when moving, it stays upright. Sounds like the letter L. L.

Oh, nice. That's clear some things up. So this is, you can watch YouTube videos about how about this, and it will explain it to you in ways that will be more intuitive because you'll get the visual component. But basically, a bicycle is structured in such a way that the front tips when it's moving,

or even when it's not, the front tips faster than the back. And when this happens when it's moving, the front tips before the back tips and that allows the wheel to turn, and that actually gets the bicycles center of gravity back under itself. And then it will turn the other way, and it will, it self-stabilizes in this way.

So when it's, when it's starting to lean, the wheel will turn and into the lean, and that will move the bicycle center of gravity back on top of itself. And that obviously can't happen. But only if it's moving. When it's when it's not moving, it doesn't have the ability to correct to sort of move into the turn that allows it to do the self stabilization, which is really cool. And they are constructed this way intentionally. And that is why bicycles are sort of like You know if we hadn't seen a bunch of people writing bicycles

It would be like are you serious even that's that's gonna work? That's not gonna work Because because it would seem to our sort of subconsciously it would be as hard to write as a unicycle Which is possible but much harder than a bicycle But because of the way that they are constructed it allows for this self stabilization that makes writing a bicycle because of the way that they are constructed, it allows for the self-stabilization that makes writing a bicycle much easier than it would otherwise be.

And you can build a bicycle that doesn't have that property and it is very, very hard to read. Fascinating. Well, there you go. Proper answers to your proper questions. This next question comes from Sam who asks, dear Hank and John, a hoi there. I was just sitting on the ground

when my stomach told me it wanted food quite loudly. How does my stomach do this? Like, does my microbiome get on the intercom to tell me that it's hungry? I'm going to go eat food now, stomach rumbling Sam. I asked, I answered this question because as I was talking to Deboki about it, it became clear that the tummy is not rumbling. It's not the tummy and this upset me. Is it the intestines?

Is it the intestines? The tummy doesn't do the rumbling. That's not good. Do you want me to go back and time and make it so that I didn't tell you about that? Because I kind of wish I didn't know about that either. Because it feels like my tummy. No. It feels like the tummy, John.

It does, but it's not. It's the intestines. They're saying like, fill us. I'm a big snake in your body. I just want, I just want to, I just want goop to pass through so I can suck out the parts that are your food and leave in the parts that are pooped out. That's what an intestine sounds like. That is its voice. It's like Gilbert Gutfried. Ever since you told me that we are basically just worms and that we have a tube that the stuff goes in and then the stuff goes through the tube and we use what we need of it

and the rest of it we poop out the other end of the tube and that we're just all the flesh that's around the tube is just glorified worm. I have not been able to stop thinking about the fact that we're just worms with limbs pretending like every day acting as if we are not flesh-covered tubes. Yeah, well, look, we're not just flesh-covered tubes, John. We are more than that. We're flesh-covered tubes that sing watermelon sugar, so that's good. That's more, that's bigger than just a flesh tube. Like a worms never done that. Right, but we literally use the tube to sing watermelon sugar.

Like, are you, I lose, use the, is tell me about tell me about Harry Styles's poop tube. He's using his flesh tube to be, to like send air through the tube so that the air comes out sounding like watermelon sugar, which is amazing. I don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm not impressed with humans. It's incredible that we've been able to do what we've been able to do so far because we are basically worms. That is what makes it so amazing. Yeah, so the amazing, amazing thing going on right now, the James Phillips phase telescope peering farther back in time. And it is, this is compounded by the fact that that was made possible by a bunch of tubes

of flesh. All the literally everyone involved in making the James Webb space telescope is a flesh tube, is like a glorified worm, and we put that thing in space. Yeah, we basically, we turned a bunch of chicken and carrots into the ideas for a telescope. Yeah, yeah. I think in some ways that's celebrating humanity. So what, you know what? Thank God our intestines are rumbling.

What a wonder. Hooray, Hizah, rumbling intestines everywhere. I need to ask you a more important question. Okay. At the very beginning of Sam's email, Sam writes, a hoi there, Hank and John, I was sitting on the ground at work. Now there are two things that I'd like to point out here, Hank.

The first is sitting on the ground, and the second is a hoi there. Are you allowed to say a hoi there when you are on land, or is that exclusively a sea-based greeting? So you're saying that we have proof that Sam is on the ground. That Sam is on the ground. Gotcha. I thought you were just gonna be like,

why do you sit on the ground at work? And I'm like, there's all kinds of work, John. Oh, but you're saying, I'm literally sitting on the ground at work right now. So no, no, judge me there. So you're saying, this is a ground-based person and they are saying, a hoi there is that. It's a hoi there. A no judgment there. So you're saying this is a ground-based person and they are saying, a hoi there is that.

Is that okay? A hoi there. I definitely, like, in my mind, if I picture someone saying, a hoi there, they are floating. Yeah. Like, yeah. That's my, that is what my brain has said.

But I don't think there's any reason why that needs to be the case. I believe that a hoi does not, it is now a nautical greeting, but does not need to be, and was not always. Well, I'm glad that we have found something that we can disagree about vehemently, because I strongly feel that a hoi should be reserved for mateys. All right, John, according to matey stuff, according to dictionary.com. There are two, there are two ways that you can use the exclamation

a hoi. There's not a call and humorous. So your proposal is that Sam intended humorous rather than notical. Uh huh, that's what I am what I am implying. All right, all allow it. But if you have a serious land-based a hoi, just remember that is according to dictionary.com incorrect. It either has to be not a whole or humorous. The linguists. Please don't evel us. We're not trying to be prescriptivist. I promise. Please don't. not a gold nor humorous.

I have been watching a fabulous series on dinosaurs, and it occurred to me that many dinosaurs were very big, like so big. My question is, how did they get to be so big? And also, why aren't animals that big anymore? What could have changed in the last 200 million or so years? I mean, a lot. A tangy goat. I mean, a lot. And Angie, I mean, so much inquiring minds want to know

avid anthropocene inhabitant Angie. I wasn't really able to get to the bottom of this one, though, I tried. So there's two pieces to this, of course. There's like, why is it better to be bigger? Like, what's the evolutionary pressure towards giant, giant thickness? And I think that that was mostly, I think, an arms race between the predators and the prey. And so the predators kept getting bigger

as the prey animals kept getting bigger. And then to protect themselves against the more the gianter and gianter predators, they kept getting bigger and bigger. So that's probably, I think I'm not entirely sure, but I think that that's part of it. And so like if you're super big and your children are super big also,

that just decreases the opportunity for you to get predated. And then there's also like. What a polite word for eating predated. I really like that. I think we should only refer to it as predated. Like really like that. I think we should, I think we should only refer to it as predated. Like, what would you like for dinner? I think I'd like to predate a chicken. I don't know if that word exists. I think I would. I may have made it up. Yeah. I'm going

to be predating the word this evening. I'll be predating duck. No, it's a word. It's a word. Yeah. I don't think I think we should get rid of eating all all together and refer only to the act of predation. That might make more people be vegetarian more of the time. If you weren't allowed to say eating anymore and you had to say predated and you weren't allowed to say pork, you had to say pig, like, yeah, to say the specific

thing, I'm going to be predating some ham hawks this evening. It's absolutely true. That is what is occurring. Just to continue to tear down the layers of you feeling like a human, you're a worm, and you pridate pigs. It's a gigantic worm,, predating slightly smaller worms that and you are apparently in an arms race to get bigger so that you can predate ever bigger.

Yeah. And then there's prey. There's also the, uh, the, the reality that sheer in an arms race against other sauropods. So I'm talking about the biggest dinosaurs right here. So you're an arm race against other sauropods to reach beyond what they can reach for food. Yeah. Yeah. And so there's that pressure.

And then there's like functionally, how can you be that big, which is not easy, because like if you have like a head that's really far away from your heart, you got to get blood all that way. If you're really heavy, you have to have. And it turns out there's nothing special about the bones of sauropods. They are structured very similarly to like cow bones. So they are at the limit, you know, at their biggest. They were at the limit of what bones could support. And there there also people think that probably they maybe supported themselves by being in the water a lot, which would counterbalance some of that,

like the weight of that. Sure. But so it seems like it was some kind of pressure toward getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And then functionally how to do it. Like you had to do things like they made their heads. Like Saurap pods heads are super small so that there isn't as much like stuff to carry. They didn't have a lot of teeth up there. They're so like obviously like the

thing on the very end of the neck, that's like the end of the folk room. And so you have to make sure that that's like least heavy in order to get it to be longer. And so they just like made their head smaller and smaller, which will add their next to be bigger and bigger, which is wild. Is yeah, so there isn't any like functional reason why a sauropod couldn't exist on our current earth, but the I think that the sort of dynamics of the diversity of life that is able to capture nutrients all around both from soropods and from the leaves of trees, or trees being better at not wanting to be eaten, all led to that strategy not being duplicated after the extinction event. Although we should say two things. One, the largest animal ever

to live is currently alive. That's true. Not a land animal, yeah. Not a land animal, not primarily. Right? It's been like five minutes on land. Yeah. Last five minutes, but still. Just like the rest of us, it's just a worm. What is it, Matt? It's a big worm. Yeah. Secondly, sorry to get so dialistic. Secondly, we should note that implied in Hank's answer is the possibility of cows the size of an hepatosaurus, which is extremely exciting. And I think, I can't believe we've been wasting all of this time

fighting with each other about whether there should be a live action Aladdin and everything else that we've been arguing about over the last, say, 500 years when we could have been focusing all of our resources on making gigantic cows that will inevitably crush us and take over the planet. It probably wouldn't work with a warm-blooded lifestyle, but look, we could make cold-blooded cows. We could, like, they can, they just have to,

they just have to adjust. They have to figure out a new way. Gigantic cold-blooded cows are the nature. Now who's getting predated? Hahaha. It reminds me, John, that this podcast is brought to you by Gigantic cold-blooded cows. They are, there's a new lobby.

They're out to make themselves exist. One bizarre and unethical experiment at a time. Today's podcast is also brought to you by the humorous Ohoy. The humorous Ohoy, one of only two Ohoy's allowable. Ah, it's podcast. It's also brought to you by antibodies. Antibodies, get them in your mouth. That's the only way to protect yourself from COVID, only way.

And of course today's podcast is brought to you by your rumbling flesh tube, your rumbling flesh tube, it is all you will ever be. Oh, gosh, John. We're also going to seamlessly transition to this project for also message. From Emily, which we must apologize. From Emily, who is just a flesh to. To Christopher, who is also in spite of everything, just a flesh to. Thank you for sliding into my DMs three years ago

for listening to the Anthroposene Review to week later upon my recommendation and then declaring it your favorite podcast and joining me in this Nerdfighter community with vlog brothers and all their other content ever since. I had always wished that I'd marry a Nerdfighter so I felt even more sure you were the one when it was so easy to convert.

You can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Emily. Wow. I am on the edge, John. I'm on the edge emotionally. And that almost did it to me. I almost went over. It was beautiful. It is so beautiful.

In fact, that I need to re-record the intro so that Emily and Christopher can actually have a nice moment instead of that. Okay. We also have a project for us at message from Emily from Singapore to Christopher. And it's so lovely. You know, John, I was able to throw away all of my deodorant after getting COVID. Oh, why? Because my doctor told me that I literally can't smell anymore. Didn't realize this was going to be a surprise second dad joke. So grateful. I just, I had to come up with COVID dad jokes. So it's good. I like it. I can smell your pity. Thank you. The more tortured version of it that I might like more for its depth goes back to our earlier

discussion about who's the main character. I was able to throw away all of my deodorant because I, the only person who matters, can't smell myself. I literally realized that I had not thought of that side effect of not having a sense of smell and realized quite quickly that it actually was a problem. How is your sense of smell these days? It's improving, it's definitely coming back. It's probably like it may be 30, 40% now.

Black licorice and blue cheese both taste bad again, which is kind of too bad because I have quite a lot of both left. Well, next time I visit, I can consume both for you no problem. Okay, I'll hold on to my blue cheese for a few months. John, this next question comes from Morgan who asks, dear Hank and John, I have some free time this summer, so I've decided to try some new things in order to make myself a more interesting person. Learn to juggle, play ukulele. Memorize the president's in order

and maintain my skills in Spanish and Latin. Do you have any suggestions dubious or not of cool, interesting, but fairly simple hobbies of things I could try to do this summer? Stay Crabulous, Morgan. Thank you for, thank you so much for reminding us to stay Crabulous. I don't know why we have been doing such a bad job of that. I think that juggling is something that you can get done pretty quick that you hold on to pretty well. And what you don't wanna do is, well, I'll far-bury it from me,

but what seems unlikely is that you'll get beyond three balls. So like, I feel like the gap between being able to juggle three balls and like being a really sort of exceptional juggler is very wide. Oh, it's huge. Whereas like it's quite quick to get to three balls. Right. But very, very, very hard to get to like,

oh, you are good at this. You want to have that base level of competency where anytime you find three oranges, you can good at this. You want to have that base level of competency where anytime you find three oranges, you can impress your friends. You may not just like be occupied. You may not want to spend like the 30,000 or whatever hours needed to become an expert juggerer. And I think within a hundred hours,

you could become a good enough juggerer that you can impress people in a small way for the rest of your life, which seems to be based on the email, the goal. The other thing I would recommend is either memorizing digits of pi or what I did when I was a kid to call myself, and this is totally normal, and not at all indicative of a pathology. I would double numbers. So I would say like two, four, eight, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048, etc. And yeah, I could go up all the way to like 16,384 by the time I was, I don't know, like 10. And that 16,384 is enough where when you do it, people are like, okay, yeah, no, that's a little weird. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

The, here's my suggestion, Morgan. Yeah. You, like, and this is for me as well. Take something, if you have anything, that you're like already maybe 50% there on, because I do this all the time, where I'm like, I'm gonna learn how to juggle, and then I get like halfway there and you hit that first plateau where you

don't feel like you're getting any better and then you stop. So like find the thing that you've already got some and you are a band-in. Yes. Yeah. Pull it out one of you. I got one of you in it. It's, it's drumming. Like I'm not a bad like drum drumset, like drum kit drummer,

but I am a little ways away, where maybe a pretty far away is away from like being able to do it in a way where somebody would be like, oh, Hank's actually quite good at that. And but like not nearly as far away as a person who's never done it. Right. And I just need to spend the like six months

and then I will never not have that anymore. And also it's so, this is the other thing, it's so fun. It's so fun to be a little bit good at drumming. And this is true with a lot of music. It's so fun to be a little bit good at guitar. And I, you know, it's not like practically useful in work, the way that having Spanish would be, but it is like, it's just a lot of fun,

but also language, that's the other thing. Those are the two things that I would like to personally spend more time on is getting a little bit better at drumming and getting sort of like walking, walk around Mexico City comfortable with Spanish. 32,768 is the next one. All right. Hank, before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, I need to let

you know something important that came in to our inbox from Sarah who who writes, dear John and Hank, I thought I'd include some of my other crab flyers since you guys got a kick out of the crab u.s. one. I made an Instagram at crab you low at crab you low dot us to share any further crab flyers. And the crab flyers are amazing. There's one that says beware and it's a crab coming out of a toilet and there's one that says, beware, and it's a crap coming out of a toilet. And there's one that says, no man, no woman, only crap. That's the one that says, shellfish allergies are proof that God is a crap. Oh, well. There's also one that's not a crap one that I really, really love.

It says, help. I was a giraffe and now I'm a human and I hate it. And then there's all these, like, you know, those little pull-off things that come with flyers sometimes and they're all links to the email address giraffe help at hotmail.com. Do you think if you turned a giraffe into a human, like the first thing they would say is like, please turn me back into a giraffe? Really, really likes the help I was a giraffe, not with human, I hate it. It really like, you don't get it until you see it. There's a lot of little tar off strips.

Oh yeah, yeah, there's a lot of those tar off strips. It's anticipating a great deal of demand. Yeah, yeah, cause this person really needs help with their problem, which is that they used to be a giraffe and now they're a human and they hate it. I think that if you gave a giraffe a consciousness and a voice, you put them inside of a human body, they would look up at you and they would immediately say, um, thanks, but no thanks. I would like to. Why did you do this? I would like to be a giraffe again. Yeah.

I was basically a mammal sauropod. Like look at me. I had it all worked out. I was the cow that was a dinosaur. I was as close as you can get. And now you're putting me inside of a tiny, now you're going to make me a tiny little worm. I was such a big worm thing.

Now I have to think. Now I have to think about stuff. I have to think about, oh, first of all, you put me into a tiny worm. Second, Twitter, really? I think that's the main thing is that, you know, dogs know how to be dogs, giraffes, know how to be giraffes, and humans just don't know

how to be humans. Oh yeah. Hello Sarah how to be giraffes, and humans just don't know how to be humans. Oh yeah. Hello Sarah. Yeah. Giraff would, Giraff would take one look at our system, maybe like you call that a separation of powers. Are you kidding me? So this purportedly independent judiciary system is appointed by the other systems. I don't understand. And for life and at random? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And you're telling me that you get like way more votes if you live in the middle of nowhere.

That's so wait, that is, do be a sur. 600,000 people in Idaho matter as much as 55 million people in California. I think I will go back to being a giraffe. Thank you. Where we have proper equity. We just do it based on how our piece smells. It's way better. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Let's go buy now the people of the world who are so exciting have seen images that I have not seen. I'm very jealous of you future people We're recording this we're about to get the first one today and then tomorrow we'll get the other the other three slash four depending on how you count a spectrum from an exoplanet and

I Am so excited and oh my god like I made, like I made a video about the New Swiss taste telescope on vlog breathers more than a decade ago about how exciting it was and it, you know, it just watching it all have worked so well and also, you know, even having seen the testimonies that have come out, it's extremely exciting and we are going to learn so much about our, and also, you know, even having seen the test images that have come out. It's extremely exciting and we are going to learn so much about our universe and also just see, I don't know, I think that we'll potentially see ourselves in a really different way because

of this. So I love that part of being a human. Giraffes got nothing on that. I'm so excited to see these images tomorrow. In the past, as people are hearing this, but tomorrow is where recording it. You've done a great job of like prepping me and getting me excited. So thank you. Well, Hank, the news from AFC Wimbledon is slightly less joyous. We played our first friendlies, like our first preseason friendlies, to get a sense of where we are.

Our first preseason friendly was against Eastborn Borough, applying their trade in the sixth year of English football. We lost that game 1-0. Now it's preseason. You know, we weren't necessarily playing all of our best players, but I can't help but notice that we were playing a lot of our best players. And failing to score against a sixth year English soccer team does rather raise a question that I think has been on the mind of most AFC Wimbledon supporters lately, which is who

precisely is going to score the goals? Right. Yes. Who loses to us? Do we have a striker? That doesn't happen without goals. Do we have a striker who isn't literally 15? No.

Nothing against our hardworking 15-year-old strikers. But can we sign? Is he actually 15? Oh, yeah. Can we sign? Is he actually 15? Oh yeah. Can we sign an adult for chance? John. So it's a little bit of a worry. We need a, we need a, we need a grown up striker who can score goals in the fourth year

of English football. That, that seems like a critical signing to me. Do you, do you think that you have it in you? To get in there, become the new manager and really shape that club up. I do not think for one second that I would be a better manager of AFC Wimbledon than Johnny Jackson, the man whose name you must say in an American accent. I am rooting for Johnny Jackson so hard, just so for the next five years on this podcast, I can say Johnny Jackson.

Yeah. So we'll see. What, what league, so in 2028 when we arrive on Mars, what league will AFC Wimbledon be in? The third tier or the second tier. We really need some outside investors. Why are there no billionaires who listened to this podcast? It's very frustrating.

If you're a billionaire, I don't really get, I don't get why Ryan Reynolds saw your great passion and was like, I will invest in a different team. Well, I think Ryan, there were a lot of factors at play. That's what you were about to say. That said, Ryan, if you're listening, you know. That's what you were about to say. That said, Ryan, if you're listening, you know, and you want to do us a favor, you know. Yeah, I don't know how well you're doing, but I feel like probably pretty good. No, I was thinking more of like a tech billionaire who's starting to feel a little bit lonely and meaningless and aimless and listens to this podcast on like their daily two hour long self punishment sweat yoga crossfit workout.

And maybe they're like, I don't know if I should be running Twitter and growing a beard anymore. Maybe I should be investing in a fourth tier English soccer team. Oh, wow. You're going to get in league. Oh, I would get in league. I guess literally. I would get in league with I would beat. There is no money so dirty that I wouldn't get in business with it for the good of Wimbledon. Give me a call, you on.

There. Hank, thank you for putting with me. Thanks to everybody for listening. You can email us your questions at Hank and John at gmail.com Sorry we didn't answer more of them today You can also follow us on patreon patreon.com slash dear Hank and John where we have a weekly podcast called this week and stuff that we're off to record right now This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Mettish. It's produced by Rosiana Halsey Rojas. Our communications coordinator is Julie of Bloom. Our editorial assistant is to Vokitra Kravarti The music you're hearing now at the beginning of the podcast

is by the great Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC