Dear Hank & John - 340: Blame the Bird

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

How do I have my writing read apart from me? Is the Earth really round? How do I find out about food recalls? What would Earth be like if trees had never evolved? Why are the planets different at different distances from the sun? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Doors I prefer to think of it Dear John and Hank. It's a podcast for Dude Brothers and to your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC, Wimbledon. John, we were just having our Patreon live stream chat, which was great and we talked a weird amount about yachts. I was remembering this time that I met a guy who told me that he had built five yachts

in his life, super rich guy. And I was like, can you show me to them? And if you show them to me, and he said, sure. And so he took you out to the docks, and he was showing me, and he said, this one's un, and this is due, this is tooth, this is cat. And then we kept going, and there was no more boats. I said, well, where's the last one?

And he said, sank. kept going and there was no more boats. I said, well, where's the last one?" And he said, sank. And I thought that that was like really ironic, you know? That, you named that boat sank. He should have seen that one coming. Yeah. That's an error on his part. Yeah. If that was me, I just would have not mentioned the fifth boat, you know? Right. I would have said I built four yachts, especially if I'm trying to sell them, you know? You don't want to say I've got a, I got to just try to sell it to me. I got a 20% success rate. Yeah.

I'm sorry, I didn't laugh harder. I don't feel very well. I'm sick. And I usually I would have taken the week off. I have like a fever and a headache and just kind of cold symptoms. Usually I would have taken the week off. But I really needed to do the podcast today just for the news from AFC Whippledon. So here I am. It is good. It is good. We didn't get it last week. We didn't even tell you that the first game of the season was coming up because Brennan didn't do another research. I woke up this morning and I was like, oh, God, I had such a bad night of sleep just tossing and turning and sweating. And I was like, oh, God, I just want to spend today in bed.

But, but then I had to ask myself, would Jack Curry spend today in bed? Would he have seen a little good manager. Johnny Jackson spend the day in bed. We'll get there. We'll get there. But first, our last episode was guest hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan, which I thought was an absolute joy. He was one of my top people I'd want to guest. Oh, yeah. You're a massive Brennan Lee Mulligan fan, as a my. I am.

And so I wanted to ask you, do you have, who would be like your ideal? We've got Ryan Reynolds, we've got Brennelly Mulligan, we've got a few people over the years. One of my favorite all-time, two of my favorite all-time deerhank and John co-hosts, or Daniel Bainbridge and Ashley Ford. And I would love to have either of them back any time. I enjoy the heck out of them, but I'll tell you the truth, Hank, if I could have any, if anybody could co-host this podcast with me, I would pick tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow author Gabriel Zeven. I'm just such a fan of hers.

I just love that book so much. I still think about it all the time. It's very good. It's very good. Is she on Twitter? No, but I were friends. I've known her for a long time. Oh, okay. Her first that's the only way I know to know people. You know who else I would love to have sometime? Who? John Cena? Oh John Cena! Yeah. That was actually the rock is on my list. Yeah. The rock would be great, but for me, it'd be John Cena because I think we talked about this before how I have a recurring dream when I'm having like a really dark time, I have this wonderful recurring dream where John Cena comes and whips me into shape

and takes me to a special training camp to press people and teaches me how to like, love the world again while also getting my head back into my body and it's just amazing. And I just wanna say, I wanna meet John Cena one time and say, listen man, I know this is my subconscious doing this and that you're not in any way participating. Yeah. But you are the most important celebrity in my life because you come to me in my dreams

when I need you the most. Yeah. As long as we're having to get really off the beaten path into into unattainable territory, I think that John Cena is like a, like this is like a 2% chance we can get him on the podcast, but I wanna get down below one with Jay-Z. I think that that would be a good podcast. If we did a podcast with Jay-Z, the whole time it would just be me saying, like being that Chris Farley character

who's interviewing celebrities and is just like, do you remember that one time when, remember that one time in diamonds from Sierra Leone where you said, I'm not a businessman, I'm a business comma man, do you remember that? That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Yeah. Remember, remember when you said, remember that one time when you said that you were photoshoot fresh looking like wealth And you are about to call the paparazzi on yourself. Oh God How do you do it Every single time I dress up at all I look in the mirror and I think photoshoot fresh looking like well about to call the paparazzi on myself.

Remember that time when you said I'm a hustler baby, I'll sell water to a well. If anybody has ideas where people we should have on his guest hosts, we'd love to hear your ideas. Because what, we recently realized that a bunch of people listened to this podcast. We did. Oh yeah, I hate going to have a few years.

Hank and I hadn't looked at listener data in three years and we kind of figured that we were making this mostly for ourselves. And we were a little confused why people kept sponsoring it. You know, like, how do we hold on to all these sponsors when there's like 14 people listening? And it turns out there's a lot of you. And it's possible. We've been undercharging. So, yeah, so we have a we have a hit podcast on our hands. Are there any people you think would want to be on our hit podcast to promote their movie whose name Keanu Reeves. Oh, oh God. I couldn't know. It would be too much. It would be. I could actually handle that. Yeah. I couldn't handle it. I would spend the like six weeks before Keanu was on the podcast to just in a constant state of anxiety. Yeah. I was kind of nervous about Ryan. But yeah, me too. Turns out normal people are normal.

Hey, let's move on to some questions from our listeners. This one comes from Darby who writes, Dear John and Hank, how do you share what you've written without worrying your loved ones? I have a lot of writing stories poems, but I haven't shared most of them because I want the people I'm close as to to enjoy them, but I also want the stories to be read separately from their author. Oh, Darby, you're speaking my language. I mean, you, you, you, you, you particularly found like one of John's main talking points, which unfortunately is a main talking point because it is counter to the experience of most.

I just can't get out of it. I'm stuck inside of those novels no matter what I try to do. No matter how many times I tell people, please stop reading me into the novels. They can't help themselves. It's, I experience this from the perspective of having a number of sort of excellent people in the books, but everyone is assuming that Andy scammed as the self-insert Hank. And I'm like, I guess that makes sense, but these other people are much cooler than that guy. Why did you make him me?

Because I'm not cool. Yeah, is why. Right, that's why. I'm proud of what I've written, but I'm still struggling with showcasing my work because ultimately, their intimate glimpses into my mind. What do you think?

Tell all the truth, but tell it's slant, Darby. I don't know. I don't know, Darby. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I gotta find strangers. But even then it's hard, right? Like, I mean, I, obviously I don't know what it's like

to be you, Darby, but the other day I was having dinner with a friend of mine and his dad, and his dad had just read the Anthropocene Reviewed, and he was like, you're a real tortured guy. It's like, yeah. I guess so. Yeah, I hadn't thought about it. I was like, yeah. I guess so. Yeah, I hadn't thought about it. I'm gonna do it like that before, but I guess.

Yeah, I wanted to be like, aren't we all? Yeah, yeah, are you just sort of at peace that you've had you, did you figure it all out? Yeah, maybe, which is great. But I think that with the Anthemocene Reviewed, I felt like I can't escape being me in these novels. Like I can't escape being read into them. I can't escape being a character in them, even if I try not to be. You are a character in the Anthropocene Review.

And so that's what I did. I was like fine. Right. Okay. I will make myself a character. Yeah. And I will, I will at least have some control over how the character is represented. It's just like me stuff. Not like, right. Like, that being imagined that Hank is Andy. Yeah. And so everything that Andy does is like retroactively placed on to Hank. And like, I have tried, and I know you have too, to like create that distance consciously.

But it's very hard when a lovely group of people interact with you and your work on a weekly basis, or on a daily basis on Twitter or TikTok or whatever. Because you're always going to show glimpses of yourself that are some of the same glimpses or analogous glimpses to the glimpses you show of yourself in fiction. And this was not really an issue, except in scholarship, except in academia, or in the case of close friends, family members.

Until pretty recently, right? Because like, like, we all read JD Salinger into Ketcher in the Rye. But the reason we read JD Salinger into Ketcher in the Rye was because he was so overwhelmed by the response to Ketcherers in the ride that he removed himself from public life and stopped publishing. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He did something to him. So far. It's hard not to. Yeah. But now everybody is in that JD Salinger position where like inevitably you become a central part of the narrative around the story or the poem or whatever. Yeah. I think all the time about what I knew about my favorite authors when I read their books

growing up, and it was just the author by it. Like, what else could I know? I could like go to the library and find a magazine interview maybe with them if I was nuts, but no, you just get like three sentences in the back of the book. That's what you know. And so the book, I think, the work tended to in the past, stand much more on its own.

But this is probably a bit of a different question here where it's like particularly the people in my life reading this story in which like the characters experience trauma or they are like dealing with difficult things, seeing like like being afraid that regardless of how true this is, that like people will read that book and like come away not thinking about the book as the work but thinking about you as the author and whether or not they need to be worried or concerned about that. Right.

So that's very hard. And I think that in a lot of ways, you kind of can't do it. And I had to work really hard not to think about particularly my parents when I was writing, because I wanted to not be stuck in a world where, you know, like, you know, I had to be thinking of the audience that I wanted not the audience that I was most worried about, I guess. Right. Yeah, that's a great observation. In general, that's really good advice, I think.

I also think you can go to your parents or friends and before they read it say, listen, this is a story and it's got connections to my life, but it's not my life. And that's how stories work for me. And I know it will be hard to read it that way, but that's how it was written. Yeah. Right. And I'm fine.

I'm not fine, but I'm fine. Right. Right. Nobody'm fine. I'm not fine, but I'm fine. Nobody's fine. Yeah. And this is the part of what makes this so complicated is that this is an impossible ask, right? It is an impossible ask to ask people like, Hey, don't read what you know about the author into the book. Right. That's just not possible. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like, I really want you to read this.

My friend Jeff wrote it. But you have to read it. I know you don't care about Jeff or no Jeff, but you have to read this and you have to be honest about what you think. Well, and that's the other thing, right? If you really wanted to, that's what you would do if you didn't want them to know that it was you. Well, or you would find some wanted to, that's what you would do if you didn't want them

to know that it was you. Well, or you would find some way to do that just as you could have published, you could have published your book under a pseudonym and then mom and dad might never have known that it was yours, but like you want them to read it and you want them to know that you wrote it. And so all of these conflicting, difficult things

are happening all together. And that's why I don't think there's like an easy or straightforward way around the question. And that's why you're right, it has begun to obsess me. Because like what the the questions that really interest me are the ones that don't have easy straightforward, simple answers. Like for years, I was able to say books belong to their readers, and now I'm a little bit like, books belong to their readers. But. Right, it is complex. Back in the day, they saw that problem

by just saying that God wrote it. Oh, those were the days like when John Milton could be like, ah, you know how it is, man, a little angel, Word appeared on my shoulder and whispered all, all the paradise lost into my ear and I just wrote it down. So don't read me into it, blame the bird. The muses.

This next question comes from Audra, who says, sup. Right, we're going informal. It's in all caps. Is the earth not round for my entire life? I thought the earth was perfectly round and it's not, are all the planets not perfectly circular? Does that change things?

Thanks, Audra. Audra, I've got really bad news. Oh, do you? Yeah. What's the bad news? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing perfectly round. Yeah, well, except the idea of round, which is wild. Right. Right.

There is an idea of round that exists and that is real, and we can write equations about it to express this idea of round, and we can write sentences about it to express this idea of round. The fact that you can do it in a sentence is the weird thing. Like you can't draw a perfect circle, but you can say it's a line, all points of which are the same distance from the middle. And then like that, that is more of a circle than anything

that has ever been created. And it has no circle than it. That's mind-blowing. Nothing is round, Audra, except for sentences describing roundness. Yeah. Yeah, so you've got a couple of different ways in which the earth is not round. You've always been familiar with one of them, which is that sometimes the earth goes up and then down. And you get tired when you're that sometimes the earth goes up and then down.

And you get tired when you're walking up the earth. And then you can sort of like run down it or like ski down it. So that's a weird way. Sure, I mean, you've got young person needs. So that's a way to run to it, to that the earth is not perfectly around. It has bumps. But it is also because it's spinning,

is a little bit of, has a bulge in the middle, where it's like literally, because of the spin, is squished out a little bit about 70,000 feet wider across at the diameter than it is at the pulse, which is a lot, a weird amount. And that also happens to the atmosphere, so it's not like that like pokes at the pulse, which is a lot. A weird amount. And that also happens to the atmosphere. So it's not like that like pokes through the atmosphere, but it's further from the center of the planet,

about 70,000 feet. Yeah. It makes me feel better about my shape. Oh my God. I hadn't thought about it that way. But for this reason, just a little, just because of the spinning, I'm just a little wider in the middle. For this reason, the Mount Everest is not actually the furthest point

from the center of the earth. It is the highest mountain. But the furthest point from the center of the earth is I think an Ecuador or somewhere around there. It's a mountain that's closer to the equator. That's a mountain that's closer to the equator. Wow. That's fascinating. I'm gonna, that's a great, that's fascinating. I give you a good fact. There's like several ways in which Mount Everest isn't the tallest planet.

The other one is that Monique is the highest from the base to the top. It's just that the base is underwater. So, nothing's ever simple. Just like the fact that nothing is round. Yes, nothing is round except that words make it so and nothing is simple except that words make it. So this next question comes from Andrew,

who writes, dear John and Hank, how am I supposed to hear about food recalls? I heard about this peanut butter recall on your podcast. I haven't been feeling great lately. Should I have a news alert set up or something? What's going on with these food recalls, DFTBA Andrew? I think that this is like literally the way that they do it is they just like put out a press release and all the news organizations are like, okay, today we're going to do something

constructive. We're going to let people know about a thing they didn't know about that's actually something they need to know about. And that's right. Right. I think that's the main way it happens. Yeah. I think that's the main way it happens. Yeah, but Andrew is right that if you don't engage with lots of traditional like television based media sources, you might not know about them.

Yeah. And like I would argue that not engaging with television news might be the right call. Yeah, it's outside of boys and penis. This is super weird that you have to consume some form of news that is going to contain probably a lot of stuff that's not going to be, you know, great for you. The right vibe anyway. In order to be aware of when your food might kill you, which maybe there should be an app for that.

There should be an app for that. There's probably an app for that. There should be an app for that. There's probably an app for that. I would set up a Google News Alert, but only for the things that I eat a lot of. Like, pop bellies turkey sandwich, News Alert. If there's any big news coming out of the world of pop bellies, I want to know about it. Black beans and or rice. Those are any, any issues emerge in

those fields. I'm, I'm, I'm in a proper emergency. Oh, man. I, I, I don't need one for iceberg lettuce. Yeah. And often are for iceberg lettuce, which is interesting. They are. We're not doing iceberg lettuce. Well, well, in 2017, the, uh, the USDA launched what this article calls a handy dandy app called food keeper that alerts people to food recalls, the moment they are announced by the USDA's food safety and inspection service, uh, and the FDA. So you will always be in the loop. It's called food keeper. It's one word and the K is capital and you

It's also available on the internet There you go just go to food keeper food keeper. I Can't believe it. What Proto when the USDA was okay. I thought we were gonna be a goofin turns out the USDA had the USDA. I thought we were going to be a goofin. Turns out the USDA had obviated the the problem. They had seen it and they'd solved it. And they're amazing. Obviated. One of my favorites, John. What's it mean?

It's just to remove a difficulty. Obviated. Oh God, I'd like to obviate several aspects of my life. Now that I have language for this, I'd like to obviate several aspects of my life. Now that I have language for this, I, most of my issues are around obviation and the lack of it. I don't really know how it's different from like, avoid, but it feels like it's maybe a little bit more sort of permanent.

I just want to. Yeah. more sort of permanent. I just wanna. Yeah, it's like what I think of is you're racing this 110 meter hurdles race, but then if you obviate the obstacles, you can go much faster. Yeah, you don't have to jump at all. Yeah, so it's like, before you see the problem coming and you create the solution and then you've obviated.

It's, I'll tell you the truth. It sounds like a business word, but I think if we could get it out of business and like into regular words, that would be good news. I might know it for business reasons. It's just, there's a lot of things. There's a lot of things. There's a lot of things.

And I hear the business words flying around and I'm like, this is terrible. But then I'm like, but also very efficient. Like I know what they mean. Totally. And it used to be like, Hank also very efficient. Like I know what they mean. Totally. And it used to be like, Hank and I would go to business meetings and people would say business words. And you could see Hank and I like blanche and roll our eyes.

Yeah. Makes fake barfing sounds and stuff. The other thing that I've gotten good at is being like, I don't know that one, which initially it felt very bad to be like, I don't have any idea what we're talking about right now. I think that you said the word, cack, 400 times before I knew what it meant. Cack is very important. It is.

It's very important. I just didn't know what it was. Yeah. Yeah. I did this in a meeting last week. I was like, everybody said this three or four times and I don't know what it is. And then several people were like, yes, me too. And I was like, ah, see? We need to speak with each other. What was it? I can't remember. It was something to do with higher education. It was in a meeting

with like, it was a crash course thing. Oh, yeah. They have so many acronyms in the higher ed world. Oh God. Sorry. I'm giving myself a COVID test tank. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Just spread up there. Um, here's a. Here's a. This is actually a tab I have open right now. You can reserve your spot for a white glove landing page service fully supportive of your AOV R.O.A. and CPA goals. Wow, wow. And like, I just read that like words. I'm so old. Yeah. White, white glove needs to go.

I mean, that needs to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like, I haven't received a white glove service in real life ever. And I don't want one. Yeah. Let's move on. This next question comes from Laura who writes, dear John and Hank, what would have happened if the earth never had trees that could be used for lumber or structures? Like say they just never grew or evolved and we just had shrubbery. Would we have been able to figure out boats and stuff?

Would we be different? Wondering about the big flora. Lora. Wow, really good name, specific sign off. Yeah, I think we would have figured out boats, but it definitely would have taken longer. At like everything would have taken longer. Trees are so good.

You also have to think, you know,, you can still burn the shrubbery, you can do fires, but it's just a lot more work to maintain a fire that has a lot of little bits in it than big bits. I would also be worried that we couldn't have the climate that we have that's allowed us to thrive without trees. That sure, I think that that could be also be a problem. The shade as well, I love that. And wouldn't, wouldn't. Oh yeah. To not have that.

I mean, if there were no trees, I don't know that, I don't know if there were, if there had never been a tree, I don't think that there would be humans at all. You think there would be no people, you think people are impossible without trees, I don't think that's true. I'm not saying that they're impossible, I'm just saying that I don't think apes would've been crushing it 30 million years ago.

And so I get to worry about it. I'm concerned that there might not be humans. The woodless world human freely. It's my new novel. I mean, the woodless world is a really good name for a novel. I don't know what it's about. Yeah, or a coffee brew. Oh, yeah. No, it's a little kind of a bummer. Fun coffee. Yeah. Yeah, given that we're trying, trying with the awesome coffee club to make deforestation, not happen. The woodless world seems like

the wrong name for the coffee, but that does remind me, Hank. Oh, last week we made a big deal or two weeks ago. We made a big deal of the fact that you could go to awesomecoffeeclub.com and get a sweet, discount by putting in deer hank or deer john in the promo code. And then Hank and I were looking at the staff said, we're like, we're like, this is a catastrophe. Like this is the worst promotion we've ever done. It's gotten a total of like two purchases. And that was because you couldn't actually buy the coffee. It's just got you could

only buy a mug. And that's that's on us. Yeah, we're sorry. Yeah, we got we got reached out to by somebody at DFTBA and they were like, do you want me to make it so that that works? And they did. They did make it so that it works. So if you go to awesomecoffeeclub.com right now, you can get great coffee, sent to your house on a regular schedule, and get two cents off. Awesomecoffeeclub.com promo code, dear John. Or dear Hank. Sure.

All right, it looks like I don't have COVID again, even though I sure do have a fever. Uh, well, it turns out there are other diseases. I guess so. This next question comes from Caleb who asks, dear Hank, and John out there are other diseases. I guess so. This next question comes from Caleb, who asks, Steerhank and John, why are the planets close to the sun, small and rocky, and why are the planets far from the sun huge and gassy?

Is it like this in every solar system? Are the big ones just rock ones down at their core? Help, I need this info for a trip on planning. Caleb. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So to me, it is not universal, though. There are lots of what they call hot Jupiters, which are big gas giants that orbit close into their stars. We have a lot to learn about planetary formation and about other planetary systems. And one of the things that is the problem here, and I wanna write a side show about this,

is that we have a bunch of tools for how to detect planets, but they detect certain planets. So like, for example, there's like the wobble method, where you can actually see the star wobble a little bit as the, or as the planets orbit it. But in order to see that wobble, you have, like the planet has to be close and it has to be big.

So we have a really good system for detecting certain kinds of planets So we know about a lot of hot Jupiters But that doesn't mean that they're common. It means that we can detect them And I think oftentimes when science journalists write about this They're like why are there so many hot Jupiters and it's like well there maybe there aren't it's just that like we are good at detecting them right now So that there's a sampling race and this is also true for planets that are closer versus farther away. So the transit method is how we know about most exoplanets,

which is one of a planet passes in front of the star and the brightness of the star drops. And that, but in order for that to happen, the planet has to be perfectly aligned with us looking at it, with its star. Because you could, you know, there's no like, so is planetary systems don't like orbit in the galactic plane or anything? They're totally right. They're like an up and down. Yeah, they tumble around. So it's totally

random whether or not you can see that and it's actually quite unlikely. But also if there's just a little bit of tilt, the close ones might be transiting, but the far ones won't be. So it's harder to see planets that are farther away. It's also easier to see planets that are bigger because they block more light when you're talking about the transit method. So closer and bigger planets are much easier to detect than farther out, smaller planets. So our understand, like we have detected a huge number of exoplanets, but we are not particularly good at, like we haven't gotten,

there's like gaps in what we can detect. And so we are still working on, we're still working on filling in those gaps with better sensors and better systems. So we don't really know. We don't really know. Hold on, I'm not really, I'm not near the mic. I just realized that's an important part of paying the podcast. And so we don't really know what percentage of exoplanets we've discovered. Like we are already able to like extrapolate out very effectively.

We can extrapolate some things, but there are big gaps in what we can extrapolate. Okay. Yeah. But, but we do, there are a couple of things that make us believe that solar systems like ours, where the inner planets are rocky and the outer planets are gaseous, are not weird. And that often happens. And, and that there are physical reasons why this happens. So one of the big ones is that like, for gas to clump together, it helps for it to be cold because you can sort of like get past what they call the frost line where hydrogen can compound

into ice, which makes it sort of bump into each other more, which makes it easier for it to form into a planet rather than just keep getting like pushed farther out by the solar winds. Whereas the heavier elements that the terrestrial planets are made out of, they are able to condense at higher temperatures closer into the star. So it appears that there is a logic like there's a reasonable explanation for why the interplanets of our solar system are rocky and the outer planets are gaseous. And that in these situations where there are these like close in gas giants, that might be a situation where it is not unusual for like planets to form and then like rearrange

themselves in a solar system and sometimes they end up going in close. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Well, all of that reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by Hot Jupyters. That's it. That's a good, hot Jupyters. A good coffee name.

This podcast is also brought to you by Mount Chimborat. So, the furthest point from the equator of our planet, take that all you Everest climbers. And today's podcast is brought to you by a Woodward's World, a Woodward's World. It's a great phrase, but it wouldn't be a great world. And of course this podcast is brought to you by the yacht sank. Works both ways. That's the joke. We also have a project for us in message from Roland and the Netherlands to Hilda. It's exactly 10

years ago when we met at John's Tiffy O's reading in Amsterdam. The Dutch nerd fighter community brought us together and now 10 years later we are married and expecting our nerd fighter baby girl. Oh my god. I might start crying. It's had an emotional day. I have no doubt that you're going to be an amazing mom because you never forget to be awesome. Without you, my life would be a lot less colorful. Love. Roland. PS, we have a baby gift list here.

Fine. Fine. Fine, Roland. You're going to make me cry. You get a bio-estrol. Are we too late? Because it's got submitted a long time ago. Oh God. We are too late. Oh no. I got something I got stuff. Oh wait

There's a password. There's a password. Yeah, I look you didn't notice a password. I Don't think it does though so I'm confused. Oh Yeah, they just they need a blender and they need one of those little swaddling things. Yeah, which is called apparently a bad cape. A bad cape. Do you think they accept just money? Whatever, we'll work it out, Roland. I mean, Hank, that's definitely what that is. A kinder stole.

A kinder stole. It's a child stole. A bad cape. Yeah. And a slap sack. And a slap sack to walk the bad cape yeah slap sack and a slap sack do you know what a slap sack is John I do now stop looking and I'm gonna read you Dutch baby things and tell you you're gonna see if you know what they are what is okay what is a hold, well, so it's bad pronunciation. Yeah, that's for sure.

Uh-huh. I do not know. Uh, hold. Yeah. Okay. Is it a little like, is it little baby shoes? The first part is hold. What part of a baby might hold to be?

Is it a little baby hoodie? Little hoodie? That's a baby hat. Close. It's a baby hat. It's a baby might hold to be. Is it a little baby hoodie? Little hoodie, baby. Close, it's a hat. It's a baby hat. It's a baby hat. It looks like a bucket hat that like the cool kids wear. What about a beach spittle?

Oh, a beach spittle is definitely a crib. No, it's got the word speed in it. It's a place where the baby's spit. It's a two, it's a the word speed in it. It's a place where the baby's spit. It's a two, it's a teething device. Oh, a beat speedle, yeah. It's a beat speedle. God, I love Dutch. It's good.

Oh, I've got one for you, Hank. What do you think a blender is? It's a blender. I think it's probably a blender. Yeah. Oh, it is so, one of the great, great pleasures of having done this for so long. I remember that Faultner stars gathering 10 years ago. And one of the great pleasures of having done this for so long is getting to see relationships grow and deepen among people who are in our community and hearing

that is just it's just so special. So thank you. Thank you for letting us be part of your lives. Thank you for giving us a seat at the table and thank you for making relationships with each other. It's amazing. What do you think Modermelk bewar's actresses? Ssssmodermelk. I mean, it's mother's milk. Is it a bottle? Yeah, like bags. Okay, yeah.

Like breast milk bags. Yeah. Modermelk. Yeah, Modermelk. I love Dutch. I love Dutch. Hank, Hank, what, what, Hank, Hank, what, Hank, what, Hank, AFC Wimbledon played a football game.

Our first game in the fourth tier of English football in a number of years since we got relegated last year. And you'll recall why we got relegated, Hank. There were two main reasons. Yeah. One was that after December 8th, we did not win a game. So we went, which is a lot of the season. It's most of the season.

That's not right. We went 28 games without a victory. It's not good. No, very well. You can't really win if you don't win. That's what the saying is. Don't win any football games. It is unlikely that you will succeed in football.

That is one of the basic rules of sports. Do you want to know how many days it was? It was eight months, Hank. It was eight months without winning a football game. It was 235 days that Wimbledon fans went to Plow Lane hoping to see their team win only to not see them win. Well, our first season back in League 2 has just begun and I was like, oh God, I don't know. We've made all these signings. We've got a high, really high quality players now, but we don't win football games. I don't know. Remember what it's like to win a football game. And we were playing Jillingham or possibly Gillingham

whom you'll recall were also relegated from League 1. So they're probably one of the best teams in League 2 since they were, you know, and they were definitely, yeah, they were better than us last year. And, um, and so I was like, oh, God, there's just so high pressure. Well, Hank, I have not seen us look that good on a football field in years. us look that good on a football field in years. Johnny Jackson, our manager, has Wimbledon playing a really attractive kind of football defending well, but then going forward. And there's this kid who's one of our full backs. His name is Jack Curry. He's been with Wimbledon since he was 12 years old. He's just been promoted to the senior team. He was playing his first game of professional football in his young life.

In front of the fans who've watched him grow up since he was in fifth grade, or whatever they call it in England. And not only did he have an amazing game, he scored a goal. He scored a goal in our two-nil victory over Jillingham or possibly Gillingham. And it was the most beautiful.

It was so beautiful. You could see the tears rushed to his eyes as he scored the goal and all the players surrounded him. He was named Man of the Match. Uh, is just incredible. We won a football game for the first time in eight months, for the first time in 2022. We won a football game.

Christmas was two weeks away. The last time we won a football game. And we won a football game. The other goal was scored by Ethan Chislett, also a long time Don. And it was an absolute rocket from outside of the box. It was like a premier league level goal It was incredible and I mean obviously it's one game out of a 46 game season but oh I could not help but hope I cannot help but hope Hank We look a lot better than we did last year and some of our best players weren't even on the pitch yet.

We got this new midfielder. His name is Paris Magoma, and he is really good. Like he looked very, very talented. We also just signed somebody whose initials are NYC. And that's what he goes by. He goes by NYC, even though he's not not from New York. And he looks good. Young Nathan Huberty Watts-Kohms. He looks very good. So I'm full of, I, we want a football game.

Yeah, so far, it all goes like this. You're going to win all of them. That's right. We're on base. They have the greatest season in league two history. The other things, it's still possible. The other thing is that our the AFC Wimbledon kits came out and the away kit is a really dark blue and the patch, the DFTBA Nerdfighteria patch is gold. And it looks so good. Yeah, can I get one of these? Can I buy one of these for for those people's baby? You can. You buy the shorts and then you have to buy the patch separately. Oh, you have to buy the patch separately. I don't know. Go to aftwimbledon.co.uk and you can figure

it out. Listen, it's a fourth tier English football team. They don't have the best like international clothing options, but you can make it happen. Okay. It's great. Well, I'm very glad, if were you watching the game, did you get to see it? I watched the whole game and, oh God, it was just such a joy.

It was such a relief. You know, it just felt great. I genuinely forgotten what it was like to win. And so the whole time we were one no-up, because we scored in the 14th minute, and I was like, that's way too early. I've seen this movie before. Then when Jack Curry scored that second goal,

I was like, maybe this is different. Maybe it's different. We kept a clean sheet, we scored a couple goals. The players looked really promising. I don't know. I was feeling good man. I'm feeling good What's going on on Mars? Well on Mars I can't figure out how to buy things from this baby website in the Netherlands and so instead I'm buying I'm still instead of buying myself a Adult-awaited walkout jacket from A.S. Woblin's store. They're beautiful.

They do look good. This week at Mars News, so the plan has always been, and this has always, it's just been a plan, is that the perseverance rover is taking rock samples, and then it's just like dropping them on the surface of Mars. It's saying, here they are, come get them later. And then the idea is that eventually something will come get them later. The problem is that as this plan continued for the European Space Agency to design the rover that would pick up the tubes and then like the rocket that would then launch into Mars's orbit and then get them back to Earth somehow

became very expensive and cumbersome. And so now NASA is saying, okay, let's not send a separate rover just to pick up vials of rock and dirt. Maybe we will get the perseverance to do it for us since it's already there. And also curiosity has been so tremendously successful and long lived, it may have time to do this. us, since it's already there, and also curiosity has been so tremendously successful in long

lived. It may have time to do this. And which means that potentially it will do that work, and then there will be just one lander instead of two, one with a rover and one with a rocket, where the rocket, the perseverance would like give it to the rocket and be like, here buddy, take it home. And if all that works, Earth might be getting its first delivery of Mars rocks around 2023. That's pretty soon. It's 20, 20, 20, wait, next year? 20, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And if all this works, Earth will be getting

its first delivery of Mars rocks by around 2033. It's not great for like my schedule for when people need to get to Mars. So we make it. Hopefully we'll get rocks after we get people there and back, which would make the whole thing. If we are able to sort of figure out rockets the way that people who talk big think that we can, that all this will have been for naught and we'll just have people coming back from Mars with just tons of rocks.

But seems unlikely at this point. I mean, we are now only five years away from this podcast getting renamed. This is starting to seem like it could happen. Well, the thing that it mainly makes me think is when we made that joke, I was like, that's an impossible distance away. Right, right, right, because... 2028 or whatever it is.

Yeah. It's just so, it's just infinite future. Right. And now it's like, oh yeah, no, we're gonna get there. Yeah, we're gonna get there. I think it's pretty likely that we'll be making a podcast and especially now that I know that we have listeners. Yeah. Yeah. And thanks, I'm glad that we do have listeners.

And I'm glad that I have a brother to make podcasts with me, even if, if you're not able to show up and Keanu Reeves wants to come on instead, that's also totally acceptable. If I'm not able to show up and Keanu Reeves comes on instead, I will be showing. That would be an awful shame for you, but I'll just do complete delay for me to rub it in your face forever. So that's my hope. If you want to ask us questions, you can do that.

Hank and John at gmail.com is the email address to send them to. Thank you all so much for your double-light fall questions. We're off to record our Patreon-only podcasts. It's called This Week in Stuff, where we talk about the things that made us happy this week. And I hope I have something to say. It's been a little bit of a stressful time for me, honestly, John. Put.

Yeah, maybe we'll just talk about things that are making us miserable, like illness. Yeah. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuneh Matic. It's produced by Rosie on a Halsey Rojas. We want to say, I thank you to Julia Bloom, who has been our communications coordinator for ever so long.

Julia is headed off to do new and cool and big and exciting new things. But you will be missed Julia, hats off. Thank you for all of your hard work. Our editorial assistant is Debuki Trucker-Vardy. The music you're hearing now is by the great Gunnarola, and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. you