Dear Hank & John - 416: The Free Will Episode
Episode Date: July 23, 2025Why do fish jump out of the water? What do I talk about in therapy? If the whole world quarantined itself for six weeks, would all viruses die out? If I want to donate to the TB cause, what i...s the best organization to do that with? Does a place without wind exist? Why does diet Dr. Pepper taste so differently when it is cold versus when it is room temperature? What do I do when it is my circus, but not my monkeys? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to a Complexly Podcast.
Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John.
Or as I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank.
It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you dubious advice
and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.
John, recently there was a theft of $20,000 of college textbooks from the University of Montana bookstore.
Wow.
Luckily, luckily, the authorities were able to get both of those books back.
See, that's a good joke because it's not a pun.
No, it's not. It's a cultural commentary.
Exactly. It's analysis, it's biting analysis
of what's broken about the college system
in the United States.
No, it keeps getting worse.
They were so expensive when I was in school.
I like paid for an entire summer of food
by dumpster diving textbooks.
I know, I remember.
You also would dumpster dive for electronics
that just needed a little bit of repair
and then repair them and sell them on eBay.
But mostly, actually, you paid for that summer of food by selling my baseball cards on eBay without my permission.
That was a separate summer.
I can't believe you did that.
And it led to the entrepreneurial spirit that has brought us so much as brothers.
It's true.
Without those baseball cards, I would never have learned the first lesson of business,
which is steal.
Steal.
Steal fearlessly from, I mean, you were stealing from me, but I'd stolen from you too, I guess,
but it still annoys me.
I don't think I've ever told you this story, but my great friend, Kava Akbar, who wrote
the brilliant book, Martyr, which was, you know, like a Pulitzer finalist and national
book award finalist, all that stuff. It's a great book. Anyway, I told him once that
story and how he sold my Johnny Bench rookie card, which was the most egregious.
I thought Carl Ustramsky was the biggest deal in there.
Carl Ustramsky was the most expensive one, but Johnny Bench was a player I had a real
affection for. Carl Ustramsky was just most expensive one, but Johnny Bench was a player I had a real affection for.
Carl Ustramsky was just, that was an investment play.
Yeah, well it turned out it worked out.
The Johnny Bench card was just pure love, you know, pure love of the catcher game.
And so, apropos of nothing, because he is the loveliest person, I tell Kava this story,
we're having a great conversation, The conversation moves on to other topics.
Three weeks later, what should arrive in my mailbox
but a Johnny Bench rookie card?
Whoa!
I know.
John, I honestly, people gotta stop that.
It's so thoughtful.
He's such a thoughtful friend.
I feel so bad all the time
because I know people like that
and I will never be like that. I go
I drive by my friend's houses and you know what I feel?
Hmm. Guilt. Yeah. I feel like oh that person that person told me about that
thing and I was gonna do that thing for them and then I was just I forgot about
it and then I'll never I'll never do it because this thought is going to be in
my mind for a total of 45 seconds. And I'll just take the negative feeling of guilt with me out of that thought.
And then that's all I have left from that thought.
I won't have the impetus to actually do the nice thing.
I will just carry the guilt and negative self-talk forward.
And that I'll put it on the pile.
Put it on the pile.
I love the idea that you just blame people for being really good gift givers.
I do. People got to be worse.
Like me. They got to be more like me.
Less thoughtful. More stealing.
More stealing, less thoughtfulness.
I got a thank you letter from Amy Krauss Rosenthal once, the late great writer.
And it was about yay big.
I realize that most people listen to this on podcast form, not on Patreon,
but it was about, I would say, one inch by one inch. And it came with a gigantic magnifying
glass. And only by using the gigantic magnifying glass could you read the thank you letter.
Now, see, that is a classy thank you letter. If you need paraphernalia to read the thank
you letter, that's how you know it's classy.
This is one of my favorite thank you letters I've ever forgotten.
It is on since since then, we're talking to the Patreon people now.
It's on a quarter of a paper plate that has been ripped up.
Yeah, because it was at like a barbecue.
And my friend, Brett, ripped this piece off of it and wrote a nice thank you letter.
That's on it. I keep it on my show.
And you keep that one. I do.
Yeah, that's great. The first gift Amy Kra my shelf. And you keep that one. I do.
Yeah, that's great.
The first gift Amy Krauss-Rosenthal ever gave me was when we first got to know each other,
when we first became friends.
So you know our late great-grandmother, Billy Grace Goodrich, Nanny.
Of course, of course, yes.
When I moved to Chicago, Nanny told me to keep $40 in my left pocket at all times for
when I got mugged.
Uh-huh.
That's a good plan, just in case.
I would argue that it was a little bit of a fear of urban environments that pervaded
Nanny's life.
Anyway, so I was telling Amy Macross Rosenthal about this.
The next time I saw her, she gave me two money clips.
One said JMG and the other said MM for mugging money.
That's so weird.
It's so thoughtful.
This is the future that maybe will be delivered by AI.
If AI does all the work,
then we could just be nice to each other full time.
Yeah, I think that,
I don't particularly love the idea of like,
oh, I got you this gift.
It was suggested by Chad GPT.
That does take some of the thoughtfulness out of it.
It's going to be do it all the laundry and stuff, right?
And then we'll have time to just be nice.
We'll have time to be kind to each other
and thoughtful and generous, because ChatGPT
will be doing the dishes.
But unfortunately, apparently, it cannot do the dishes.
I was going to say, based on my interactions with the ChatGPT
so far, I've seen very little evidence that it can do the dishes. I was going to say, based on my interactions with the chat, GPT so far, I've seen very little evidence that it can do the dishes.
I can tell you how.
Exactly. It's going to give me orders in the great in the.
But Sam Almond did.
Oh, he did learn my first rule of business.
Steal.
All right, John, we got a bunch of questions for our listeners. Do you want to hear one?
This one comes from Anna, who asked, Dear Hank and John, I'm sitting on the shore of beautiful
Table Rock Lake in southwest Missouri.
While admiring the water and enjoying the sound of the waves, I suddenly saw a fish
jump out of the water.
Why do they do this?
Clearly fish need water to survive. So are they just wanting to catch a small glimpse
of our world? Or are they going full on aerial and trying to become where the people are?
Well, let me answer this with what I suspect is true. And then you can tell me the science
answer, which is going to be boring. I suspect fish are playing. I suspect
they're having a good time. Nobody asks like why do John and Hank get in the
water sometimes even though they're fundamentally land creatures. Yeah, why are they doing that?
They're gonna die in there. We would die in there but we're doing it to play. We
want to have a good time and also maybe to cool off a little bit but mostly
just to have a good time. So there are some fish that jump and we don't know why.
Yeah, it's because they're having fun and we can't accept that.
So we say maybe they're trying to knock parasites off their body
or they're practicing in case in the future they have to escape.
So like sometimes fished in bottled water, of course,
because they're being chased by a bigger fish.
And so maybe they're practicing for that eventuality.
And so they knew to do it even when they're not being chased by a bigger fish so that
they are good at it when the big fish shows up.
And then in this case, in the case of this particular fish, almost certainly that fish
was going for a snack.
So there was something at the top of the water that they snuck up on and ate.
Oh, they're just like getting an insect, a water bug or whatever. Yeah, like those videos you see on Shark Week of a giant great white popping out of the
water with half a seal in its mouth.
Like that, but for a mayfly.
Yeah, that's not, I think you're underrating the extent to which fish, well, obviously
fish don't have free will, none of us do, but like the extent to which fish are able to.
No, that's all. That's just the way of the podcast. That's all.
But I think you're underestimating the extent to which fish are able to like
wish to express themselves through the only vehicle they have, which is their bodies.
Can I add you with a theory? Yeah.
Here's my theory.
I don't think it matters if my biology is telling me that free will exists.
I think that there is not enough attention being paid to my subjective experience as
a valid piece of the equation here.
Whether or not I have free will doesn't really matter
if I feel like I do.
Just like doesn't really matter
if the universe is a simulation, if it feels real
and I am acting inside of it.
And I think that this can go for a number
of sort of big philosophical questions where it's like,
well, am I being told by my biology
that all of this is the case?
How much does the objective experience matter if the subjective experience is the whole
thing for me?
Like I only have the subjective experience.
Yeah, there's a part of me that would like to know if I'm merely my biology, but I think
for you that's a solved question because you think you are merely your biology. So I do I do yeah, which
Seems like a way to live
But if your subjective experience is all that matters like why not why not embrace a subjective experience that has a little more
Flavor to it. You know, we'll do that. Yeah. Like drink Dr. Pepper instead of water,
if you were, but the spiritual version. And instead I'm having like La Croix's over here, you think? Yeah, you're drinking La Croix and you could be drinking sweet, sweet Dr. Pepper.
Yeah, it's not even bad for you. I mean, some people would argue it's kind of bad for you.
It's done good and bad. It's done, I mean, It's done a lot of bad.
If we're going to talk about religion on this podcast again, let's just acknowledge, as
the religious person, I feel like I should acknowledge it has driven quite a lot of suffering.
Yeah, it doesn't give you diabetes, but it does.
Sometimes I'll be listening to a podcast, like a history podcast, and they'll be talking
about burning people at the stake or whatever, or like trial by fire, where they would have
people walk through a fire, and if they made it, then they were blessed by God and if they didn't, then
they were damned anyway.
And I'll be like, oh my goodness, like it's very helpful to come to that my particular
church was formed entirely by the most powerful person in all of the world, arguably wanting
to get a divorce.
Yeah. Yeah. All of the world arguably wanting to get a divorce yeah.
Yeah you know like that helps me center my religion right where it ought to be which is that like this is a function of this is a thing that people that power use to get there's a lot here that's earth based lot of earth based so i think that there is, I think there's some advantage to objective reality. I think you slightly are underestimating the benefits of knowing objective reality.
But there's like something about free will in particular that's like, I do like my biology
is telling me very clearly that I have choices and that I exercise them. Yeah. And I and
like that's so like in my face. That's so in the face of so like, in my face,
that's so in the face of my consciousness.
Like my consciousness is constantly having that shoved
in its face.
And I don't know by what, but like that is,
I feel like that is a thing.
Yeah, I mean, you are on a journey of meeting
and you're getting perilously close to my relationship
with the divine, which is that if I experience it,
it is real.
I just don't experience it.
Well, maybe you will someday.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Got to get.
Maybe you'll be driving through Michigan
with your buddy Rob in freshman year of college
and you'll see a sign for the world's largest
wooden crucifix and you'll be like, that sounds funny
and you'll go there and you'll be overwhelmed
by an experience of the divine and literally fall
to your knees looking at the world's largest wooden crucifix
even though you are yourself not cast.
John is going to get me back for selling Carl Ustramsky by giving me a religious experience.
That's right.
You're going to end up tithing.
That's how I'm going to get that Carl Ustramsky money back.
All right, we got to get to another question.
This one comes from Anna who writes, Dear John and Hank, I just started therapy, mostly
because I'm in college and it's free and also because I have a friend who definitely needs
therapy.
So, I keep saying that everyone can benefit from therapy, so I figure I should take my
own word on it.
However, I feel like I'm mostly emotional stable and don't have one major thing I want
to work on, so I don't know what to say.
So far, we've had a fair amount of awkward silences.
Do I just start blabbing about other things I'm thinking about?
Would it be weird for me to ask my therapist questions? Not an attorney, an attorney.
Ha! Are you serious?
How could I make that up? I'm not clever enough. I don't do the dad jokes.
An attorney? That must have been on purpose.
An attorney, I regret to inform you on a few levels that you only have one career option
after college.
You've got to kill. on a few levels that you only have one career option after college.
You must. I'm not telling you what kind of practice I'm just telling you
that you absolutely have to be an attorney and attorney.
It's like Bob Loblaw from Resident Development.
Like you have to be an attorney.
That is that's messed up.
I had a friend in high school named Amanda Lynn.
Oh, like Amanda and the instrument
Yeah, and I don't know that she ever she ever got into the instruments, but um an
attorney an attorney an attorney I'm sorry
Your whole should be good over what like my parents
What do I do really wanted me to choose a profession that they need me an attorney and I don't
want to be an attorney.
What do I do?
We'd be like, it doesn't matter what you want.
No free will.
You're an attorney.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It's like if you were named, I'm a gymnast, like you're a gymnast.
Sorry.
I knew a kid when I was growing up in Alabama named Tiger Blonge, first name, middle name.
Tiger, of course, being the Auburn Tigers
and Blonge being a mix of blue and orange, the color of the Auburn Tigers.
And then they went to Alabama.
Wow.
That can't be true.
You're messing with me.
You can defy your parents, Ann Attorney, and you don't have to become Ann Attorney, although
I think you should.
Tell me this person's name again.
Tiger Blorange.
No.
Yeah.
No.
I wonder if I can Google them right now.
They named this person, their middle name is Blorange?
No.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
Hank, you don't understand how people in the South like college football.
It's like the way I like AFC Wimbledon.
That's wild.
Now, Tiger may have gotten married and may have lost their middle name in the process.
That does sometimes happen, but that's how I knew them.
Let's get to Anna's actual question.
I'm trying to figure out what the, if it was named after the college football team in my
town, what it would be.
Because they're Maroon and Silver and the mascot is the Grizzly.
So it'd be Grizzly Milver.
Maruvil.
Grizzly Milver is a better name than Maruvil. Grizzly Milver. Grizzly Milver is a better name than Meruville.
Grisly Milver.
Grisly Milver isn't even that weird of a name.
If I met a guy and he was like, hey, my name is Grisly Milver Smith, I would be like, oh,
that makes sense.
Yeah.
I'd be like, I got a cousin named Sanders.
Yeah, it's just like somebody named Grisly Milver.
Somebody's mother's maiden name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Milver.
Milver.
Probably some Milvers out there. Probably some Milvers out there.
Probably some Milvers out there.
So I don't think it's that unlikely.
Here in Indiana, of course.
Everybody send us what it would be for you.
But John's going to tell you what it would be for him.
What it would be for me is naming a kid Indiana, which isn't that weird.
I actually know some kids named Indiana.
Oh, what's the mascot? No, it's the mascot, Tiger.
What's the mascot?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be the Indiana. Oh, right. Okay, so it'd be Hoosier.
Hoosier's great.
Which is a weird first name.
Hoosier's great.
Hoosier's a big first name, but it's not an impossible first name.
And then it'd be red and white, so it'd be Hoosier Wright.
Hoosier Wright, I mean, that seems like a person.
If you told me, like, what's your name, Hoosier Wright, I'd be like, well, that's a little
weird that your name's Hoosier, but, like, Wright totally works.
Yeah, yeah, it fixes it. It fixes it. All right,
everybody. Honestly, I'd be like, why don't you go by right? Okay, you got to send us in what your
college football name would be if you're if you were named after your dad's favorite college
football team or or the one where you go. Okay. What's the question? What do you do in therapy
if you don't feel like you have anything to work on?
An attorney with respect, you have something to work. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, my parents to your therapist about what you're doing.
It's like I don't want to be an attorney.
So bad. So bad.
They named me an attorney,
which is dramatically correct.
Right. They didn't name you an attorney. No.
No.
They named you an attorney. You've got to talk to your therapist about this for at least
a little bit. And usually the way I find therapy works is you open like a top shelf and that
leads to a lower shelf. And then eventually you get to the bottom shelf,
which is like, did my, have my parents attempted
to take away my free will and prescribe my entire life?
Yes.
All right, we answered the question.
I've been very interested,
therapy has been fascinating for me.
I'm fascinated by my therapist
who tells me nothing about her.
I've heard that other people hear a lot
about their therapists in their session.
I know nothing. I know very little about her. I've heard that other people hear a lot about their therapists in their session. I know very little about mine.
And also, I recently did our first telehealth session. And I talk all the time about my
job and what I do for a living. And that it's a lot of pressure. And then I have all these
sort of like what I consider to be unique difficulties, I think she sees as somewhat universal.
And I did our first telehealth and she was like, is that what your office really looks like or is that like a green screen?
And I was like, no, that's actually my office, which indicates to me that over
the six months that we've been talking, she's never watched one of my videos.
She's never been like, oh, I'm curious enough to go and see what this guy's up to.
Does she think that I'm lying about having a giant audience
and lots of pressure?
No, but my, I don't think she does,
but my psychiatrist initially thought
that I had delusions of grandeur
because I came in there and I was like,
listen, I'm a bestselling author
and everybody on Tumblr hates me. And he was like, I've heard that one before.
But it turns out that you are a bestselling author, but like 60% of Tumblr hated you,
and that's basically the same thing.
I was exaggerating, to be fair.
Always had a little group of people on Tumblr who stood by me.
Thank you so much.
But yeah, seriously, no joke.
But yeah, I think it's good that your therapist doesn't watch your videos and I think it's
probably a conscious choice.
I think you are correct.
And I appreciate it.
Which reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by My Therapist, currently accepting
new clients in Missoula, Montana. And not listening that this podcast is brought to you by My Therapist, currently accepting new clients in Missoula, Montana.
And not listening to this podcast.
No idea it even exists.
Yeah, because you don't have to talk about this podcast in therapy
because it's actively pleasant.
No, it does not come up.
Today's podcast is also brought to you by an attorney.
An attorney, that's where you go to get legal advice.
In addition, this podcast is brought to you by the world's biggest crucifix.
It's on the side of the road in a state in America.
The world's biggest wooden crucifix.
Okay, let's get specific.
Where is it?
Michigan, I believe.
It's on the side of the road in Michigan somewhere probably
Somewhere in the middle would be my guess or New Chicago. Probably. Where is it on the way to and today's podcast is
Finally today's Bob just gonna roll right through that finally today's podcast is brought to you
By sitting on the shore of a beautiful Table Rock Lake in southwest, Missouri wondering why fish
Jump out of the water only to learn that they do it for the pure joy
of having free will-ish.
Podcast is also brought to you by theft.
Couldn't let it go.
This episode of Dear Hank and John
is brought to you by factor.
Every year, and I know this sounds silly,
I get surprised by summer.
When I was growing up in Florida,
it was just sort of mostly summer. So now that I live in Montana,
I get surprised and it takes me like a month before I figure out to like do summer stuff,
and that means I have to pack like all of summer into two months, and that means that I need to have options.
Options for maybe not spending a ton of time cooking if I don't want to. I know it's crazy that I get surprised by summer,
but I do, I still do, and I like cooking, you know, the way I like volcanoes.
In theory, at a distance, with protective equipment.
Sometimes I'll do it, and sometimes I don't want to.
And when I'm 92 degrees and I'm already sweating because I've been outside trying
to identify a bug, it turns out I don't necessarily need to go inside and then spend
a half an hour cooking dinner.
Which is why Factor.
Factor makes fresh, chef-crafted, dietitian-approved meals that are ready in two minutes with no topping, no simmering, no googling what temperature the inside of the
chicken is supposed to get to. They arrive fresh and ready to eat, perfect for any active lifestyle
over the summer and beyond. Factor powers your day sun up to sundown with nutritious breakfasts,
on-the-go lunches. They can get you on-the-go lunches so that you can go and maybe take a hike
and bring your lunch with you.
Premium dinners and guilt-free snacks and desserts. Factor has your whole day covered. How's this sound?
Ginger teriyaki salmon with roasted cabbage, forbidden rice, sesame green beans, roasted onions.
That sounds like something I would enjoy and that I would not make myself. Get started at factormeals.com slash dear hank five zero off and use the code dear hank
fifty off to get fifty percent off plus free shipping on your first box.
That's code dear hank five zero off at factormeals.com slash dear hank fifty off for fifty percent
off plus free shipping.
That's factormeals.com slash dear hank fifty off.
I said it so many times.
That was a lot of times.
This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Smalls.
I love my cats an embarrassing amount.
I once read a poem that said something like, why would you buy art if you could just have
a cat sitting around?
They're like a perfect little sculpture.
They could be lying around in the most goofy way possible and it will seem like a perfect
little image of the platonic ideal of comfort.
Gummy Bear, one of my cats, is at the vet right now with Catherine, and we're worried
about him.
We think he's gonna be fine.
But he did somehow, despite the fact that we were in the yard with him, get in a cat
fight with a neighbor cat.
So stinkin' cats.
So we've had to do a bunch of stuff to Gummy Bear that he would prefer we not do lately,
like clean out his ear, which got a cut on it.
But one thing I know about Gummy Bear is that he will forgive me as long as dinner is on
time, which brings me to Smalls.
Smalls cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients that
you would find in your fridge, and it's delivered right to your door.
That's why cats.com named Smalls their best overall cat food.
To get 60% off your first order plus free shipping, you can head to Smalls.com and use our promo code Dear Hank for a limited time only. The team at Smalls is confident
your cat will love the product, so you can try it risk-free, which means they will refund you if
your cat will not eat their food. And yes, I have bought cat foods before, and I'm like, here's your
new cat food, and I give it, and then nothing. Then, I don't know, come on, why are you like this?
With Smalls, you don't have to worry about that. So for a limited time only, because you're a Dear Hank and John
listener, you can get 60% off your first order of Smalls, plus free shipping using my code
that's Dear Hank, for 60% off when you head to Smalls.com and use the promo code Dear
Hank. Again, promo code Dear Hank for 60% off your first order, plus free shipping at Smalls.com. Alright, John, this next question comes from Hannah, who asks Dear Hank and John, if the
whole world quarantined themselves for four to six or whatever weeks, would all viruses,
like the common cold, etc. die out?
How long do viruses live?
If they all need a host to reproduce, surely they would die some when, when there are no
new hosts, or can they survive in our bodies indefinitely?
Neither a hypochondriac nor a scientist, just Hannah.
Well, I have great news for you, Hannah.
So little pressure on you to choose a specific career.
Yeah, that's true.
Although it just occurred to me that the huh in Hannah actually is pronounced.
I always thought that the H, the second H
in Hannah was silent, but actually there it is right at the end.
Hannah.
Hannah. And if it wasn't, would it be Hannah? Like Anna? Anna? Anna.
Anna also ends in an H.
Okay.
Anna.
Whoa.
All right.
We've just made a discovery.
I don't know that we would be the first. Linguists pay a ridiculous amount of attention to the noises we make.
No, no, no. I'm going to publish this in a linguistics journal and blow everybody's mind.
The field is about to be turned upside down by this Hannah news.
I have terrible news with regards to the erratic ability of viruses.
It's real hard. There are there are some that we could quarantine our way out of, but
only if we really did it and that would be basically impossible, but most we couldn't.
Most either have long reservoir in the human body, where especially, like some people might
clear it very quickly, but others might have that disease for months and still have enough to transmit it to someone else.
And then, but some are in there forever.
Yeah.
Basically, and will hang out and reactivate and in those situations you can, you can re-infect
people.
And then there are.
Yeah, like how you get chickenpox again.
You get chickenpox back and then you can get that from...
I don't know if you can get chickenpox from someone with shingles.
I assume that you can, but I don't know that for sure.
I don't know.
That seems like something that would be a Hank thing.
Yeah.
And then there are many, many viruses that have wild reservoirs.
And unfortunately, the animals are not going to quarantine
along with us.
So they'll keep passing it back and forth
between each other and then can reinfect us
when it's time for the quarantine to end.
So there are, I do kind of think of viruses
as either being eradicable or ineradicable
based on the wild reservoir.
Wild reservoir is a great phrase.
Yeah. It's a good title for a book or something. Yeah. wild reservoir. Wild reservoir is a great phrase. Yeah. It's a good title for a book or
something. Yeah. Wild reservoir. COVID, for example, has many wild reservoirs. And so is-
You know what has a lot of wild reservoirs? TB.
Tuberculosis, man. Everybody can get, sharks can get tuberculosis, aquarium, aquarium fish.
You told me once that they thought maybe tuberculosis like arrived in the Americas
by seals.
It did.
It went from Japan probably or somewhere in Eurasia to the Americas via seal.
And then the seals when they were being butchered in the Americas gave somebody tuberculosis
who then spread it in their communities.
And then it pretty much spread.
Tuberculosis was one of the only diseases from aphro-eurasia that had already gotten
to the Americas before the Columbian exchange and the Great Dying.
It was one of the diseases that there was actually a little more experience with in
indigenous American populations than there was for instance like smallpox.
Wild.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Tuberculosis, man, it was everywhere and it still is everywhere.
We have 10,000 cases in the US every year, even though we don't talk about it much.
So, we need to be talking about TB more, which reminds me of this question from Audrey, who
writes, Dear John and Hank, but mostly John, this is my favorite kind of question.
If I want to donate to the TB cause, what is the best organization to do that with pumpkins
and penguins?
Audrey, I think, I mean, I'm biased, Audrey, because Hank and I are working on a big project, anti-TB project with Partners
in Health and Lesotho, but I think PAH, Partners in Health, they do really good work in tuberculosis
and they've also sort of led the charge on tuberculosis since the 1990s when they began
providing multi-drug resistant TB care in Peru. And so I think that if you want to be on the leading edge of the
people who are making the blueprints for what the future might look like with TB care, I would say
partners in health. We got this message from Sarah that's very important for me to read because it
allows me to tell you a story about myself. Sarah says, Dear John and Hank, I've had an L.O. Langley
song, Weren't for the Wind, stuck in my my head this morning and it made me think if this guy wants her to stick around you just need to move somewhere without when does such a place exist may the windows be your back Sarah is without wind wow no i don't i'm not entirely that well there are places without wind space.
spaces without wind space. Right.
Well, all of Mercury has solar wind, but that's not that's not wind.
That's a totally different thing.
But on Earth, I think it's going to under the water.
Never mind under the sea and a submarine.
There's probably still going to be a little bit of ventilation or else things are going
to be real unpleasant.
But like the International Space Station, not as windy as you'd like.
They have a lot of fans actually up there.
You don't want to fall like you can fall asleep on the International Space Station, not as windy as you'd like. They have a lot of fans actually up there. You don't want to fall, like you can fall asleep on the International Space Station
and create a bubble of carbon dioxide around your face and you wake up like choking.
Oh, that's terrifying.
It's so bad.
So they like fall asleep pointing a fan at themselves.
Well, there is the doldrums, which is around the equator and has very little wind.
Right.
But it does have some wind.
Yeah.
There are definitely areas that have very little wind. And I think that a very consistent middle of the ocean situation where there's no Coriolis
effect creating wind, which would be right at the equator, would be your best bet for
an unwindy place.
All right.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
What?
Caves.
Caves don't have wind.
They got to move to the caves. You got to move to the caves. Very, very deep caves that do not have outlets. Some caves, of course't have wind. They gotta move to the caves. You gotta move to the caves.
Very deep caves that do not have outlets.
Some caves of course have wind.
But there are definitely caves that don't have wind.
And also collapsed mines, that would be a place to move.
Seems like a good life.
Down there in a hot, wet, humid, dark, collapsed mine.
Just hunting for old denim like that guy on YouTube.
I love that guy on YouTube.
I can't believe you also watch that guy on YouTube who owns the ghost town.
He owns the ghost town and he searches for old denim because the old jeans are very valuable.
Old jeans are worth hundreds and hundreds of dollars.
That's how he makes a living is going down into the mine and finding old denim.
Why do people leave their denim in the mine?
I don't know.
They just got too hot.
They took them off, folded them up, put them on a shelf, lost them.
It's hard than a mine.
We've all been there.
Walking around, paint Swiss in the dark.
Yeah, we don't know what people got up to in those old days. Frankly, none of our business.
It's time to transition to a question from Emma who writes Dear John and Hank,
why does diet Dr. Pepper tastes so vastly differently when it is cold versus when it
is room temperature? It's like a different soda. Both are good. But what is going on?
I won't try it hot because I'm not a monster, but does it taste extremely different than
two?
In a dill, Emma, she's in a dilemma.
It's pretty good.
It's not as good as an attorney, Emma, unfortunately.
John.
Yeah.
I think that this must be true of all sodas.
It totally is, but I think it is more true of Dr. Pepper simply because Dr. Pepper has
more convergent flavors
and different ones come out at different temperatures.
One thing I've also noticed, and this is going to make me sound weird, it's going to make
it sound like I drink a lot of Dr. Pepper in different circumstances, which I do, is
that diet Dr. Pepper tastes very different outside than inside.
The exact same Dr. Pepper can, drunk drunk outside taste different than inside because you're
just ingesting different chemicals along with it.
You're ingesting fresh air instead of store-bought air-conditioned air.
And I am 100% convinced that more of the complexity of Dr. Pepper comes out.
This is making me sound weird.
More of the complexity of Dr. Pepper comes out when you drink it outside than when you drink it inside.
And I think that you actually taste more of the flavors
when you drink it room temperature
than when you drink it cold.
Now it's not as refreshing.
I think the vat is definitely correct.
It's not as fun to drink,
but you can taste more of the complexity.
It's almost like drinking a red wine
where there's a certain temperature that's perfect and that temperature isn't ice cold.
Well, I mean, this is a known effect.
So when a thing is warmer, two things are going to happen.
First, your taste buds will be more active because they will be warmer and molecules
move around more.
And two, more things will volatilize.
So when it's warmer, it's easier for those smells to leap off of the drink. And
Dr. Pepper is, I would imagine, formulated to be tastiest when cold, because that's what we want.
And there's another effect here, which is that warm water can hold less carbon dioxide. So,
it's going to fizz more when you're drinking a warm Dr. Pepper.
It definitely fizzes more.
Yeah.
Definitely fizzes more.
And that's gonna have a number of effects.
It's gonna make it, I think, like less easy to drink more.
Like there's gonna be more like volatilization
because of that,
because it's creating a bunch of surface area.
It's gonna be like weird in the mouth.
Yeah.
So definitely different. Warm Dr. Yeah. So yeah, definitely different.
Warm Dr. Pepper doesn't taste. It's precisely for those reasons. Warm Dr. Pepper, I think,
isn't as like refreshing or as fulfilling to drink, but I'm telling you there is more
complexity on the palate than cold Dr. Pepper. For sure. You get, you would get more flavor.
But I, but as for whether it's different inside or outside, you maybe are warmer outside
and that's making it sort of a nicer experience. I don't see what else is happening there.
Well, I'm just telling you something's happening.
Your biology is experiencing it. So what does the objective reality matter when this objective
reality is your experiences?
Boom. I mean, back to the theme of today's video, the free will episode.
The free will episode. I think we didn't name the religion episode the religion episode.
I think that was a huge mess. I think this should be called the free will episode.
Yeah.
That's what people want. They want us to hit the hard, complicated issues of humanity, but in ways that don't solve anything or get deep
at all or actually create any kind of new insight.
Well, when we try to provide proper advice, it's always a poor quality.
Wouldn't want to do that.
No, it's extremely dubious at best, which reminds me to take on this important question
from Melissa, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I'm listening to episode 226 of the pod, It is the Monkey,
in which you too frequently use the phrase, not my circus, not my monkeys.
And I've been thinking throughout the episode, what do I do when it is my circus,
but they are not my monkeys? Alternately, what do I do when my monkeys end up in someone else's circus?
Melissa, very good question.
John, have you heard of Mel Robbins? Oh, sure. The let them theory. The let them theory is just not my circus,
not my monkeys. We could have been Mel Robbins. We could have been. We just had to focus.
We had to focus on the monkeys. We had to make a book called Not My Circus,
Not My Monkeys. Actually, it would be called Not My Monkeys.
Not My Monkeys. Because that's a catchier title.
Not My Monkeys. People would be like, what's Not My Monkeys about?
Maybe we could have called it the Not My Monkeys theory.
They'd stop in their tracks and they would.
Not My Monkeys. Especially if it's in that big business book font.
Yeah.
Not My Monkeys.
And then it's just like on yellow with one of those clapping monkeys from the past with
the wind up on them on the bottom.
Yes.
Or maybe one of the flying monkeys.
Wind up clapper monkey.
From Mary Poppins?
No.
The Wizard of Oz.
And just some kind of monkey down there.
Some would argue that Mary Poppins would have been improved by flying monkeys.
And in a way, isn't Mary Poppins a flying monkey?
Herself, a flying primate.
Great point, Hank.
Thank you.
You got Mary Poppins on there.
You got those whole flying monkeys.
It says, not my monkeys in big letters by John and Hank Green, authors of the let them
theory.
You can take theft.
Steal.
Steal.
The number one lesson in business.
Oh my God.
What were we talking about?
Sometimes, well, sometimes it is your circus, but it's not your monkeys.
And then you have to tell the person whose monkeys they are that you actually don't need
monkeys in this particular circus.
And sometimes they are your monkeys and it's not your circus and then you have to listen when someone says i'm sorry but this is not your circus these are your monkeys but this is not your overall circus the overall circus is mine and therefore
you can take your monkeys if you want to or you can let them be in my circus but you you cannot have control over the circus just because you own the monkeys.
Yeah. This is going to be great stuff for our new book, The Let Them Monkeys Theory.
Oh man.
The Let Them Monkeys Do What Those Monkeys Are Up To Theory.
I just see Mel Robbins a lot because we're both on the bestseller list right now. And I have no idea. I have no idea if Mel Robbins is male or female. If Mel Robbins is 20 or 70. I have no idea who Mel Robbins is.
I have to confess. I yeah, I do. I'm too. I'm too online. I haven't read the let them theory,
but I love the idea of letting other people make their own mistakes. There is that if that's the
thesis thesis. You is the thesis.
You might wonder whether it needs a whole book, but that is how these things work.
Yeah, well, I mean, the not the not my monkey's
thesis is going to be like a 350, 400 page book.
It's going to be long.
That's actually not what you want to do.
You want it. Oh, you want it to be nice and you want you want it to be.
You want it to be an approachable length.
But who moved my cheese kind of thing my cheese length for sure.
Okay.
So 150 pages heavily illustrated kind of graph line drawing illustrated but also graphs but
hand drawn and citations citations that take you to papers that don't actually say what
you say they say.
No, come on.
Now I'm just saying this like.
That's not how we're going to do it.
The Not My Monkey's book is going to be a big hit because of the quality of its citations.
All right. And the citations are just going to be two websites that are us saying the thing that we said.
I love that. Yeah, that's brilliant.
That's brilliant. It'll be it'll'll be, all the citations will link to
vlogbrothers videos where we say things with great confidence. And then some of the citations,
but only like five of them are just going to be me dancing. I love that. Occasionally you'll get
Hank doing a monkey dance. Never going to give you up, but dancing like a monkey while doing it.
Yes. Love it. With symbols. Love it.
Anyway, John, did we do a good job? I mean, this is hard. This is hard.
How can you just, how can you just anyway
our first million dollar idea in weeks?
John, I really do want to write a book with you.
I think that we would be good at it.
I just think that we need to figure out the system.
Yeah, we need to figure out the time,
the time and the system, and that's not easy.
It's not.
No, our time schedules don't often overlap
in terms of extra.
No, I think that the book that we write together
is probably gonna have to be done in our 60s
when we're retired from the other stuff,
except for this, because I wanna call it
Dear John and Hank forever.
You're going to immediately make me some bet that I'm going to win.
All right, Hank, it's time to get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon.
You want to go first?
No, you go first.
All right, AFC Wimbledon keeps signing players, Hank.
We can't stop signing new players.
But the most important player we signed, Marcus Brown.
Nerdfighteria's own Marcus Brown is coming
back for two more years. Marcus Brown just signed a two-year contract, our central attacking midfielder,
and we signed a new keeper, Nathan Bishop, on a three-year contract. He came from Sunderland,
team now in the Premier League, actually, but he didn't really play for them. He was on loan
last year. Anyway, he looks like he's going to be really good.
And I don't know if you've seen our kits, Hank, but our kits have come out.
Here, I'll text them to you.
They are gorgeous.
Take a look at these AFC Wimbledon Home Away in third kits.
I don't know about the third kit that's green and black, but the blue and yellow kits are
massive.
Massive?
Looks very nice.
Looks fairly similar to what the last one looked like, I gotta say.
Strongly disagree, didn't have that collar, wasn't made by Lotto, didn't have that cool
diamond-y background that we've got now.
Yeah, that's cool.
I like that a lot.
These are class.
I like the green.
That's awesome.
Okay.
You like the green one.
What do you think of the yellow one at the bottom there?
Class.
I, not as much, not as much.
It doesn't have a ton going on.
Yeah, but I kinda like the fact that It doesn't have a ton going on.
Yeah, but I kind of like the fact that it doesn't have a ton going on.
The only thing I don't like is that it has those side panels.
And any time it's a side panel for me, when I'm wearing it as an extra large,
those are significant side panels.
When the players wear them, they look great.
But I'm not I'm not a professional footballer. OK.
Well, all right.
So that's the news we got.
And we got Marcus Brown.
We got a goalkeeper,
which is huge. Having a goalkeeper is really an essential part of having a soccer team.
And especially for a club like Wimbledon, who does take on a lot of shots.
I, you know, I'd do it if they asked.
Yeah. But respectfully, I don't think that you'd keep us in league one.
I would let a lot of balls into the net.
People people would be like, wow, like, we're actually in a situation where we could pick
somebody out of the stands who would be a better keeper.
I play goal. I play goal when I was when I was little.
I think that I got some knee issues.
And also, here's what I predict that the ball would hit my hands and I'd be like, I got some knee issues and also I here's what I predict
that the ball would hit my hands and I'd be like, I got it. I stopped, but it would keep going.
Just keep right through the hair.
I don't have the strongest risks.
No, I mean, I've got those soy boy wrist boy.
Yeah, I don't have them.
I think that also the diving would be an issue every time.
The goalkeeping coach was like, why didn't you dive for that one? I'd be like, are you kidding?
We're trying to avoid injuries, right? Because every dive is an injury.
Do you want me to break a rib? Like, who's the goalkeeper behind me for God's sakes?
The last guy. If I'm in here, I'm the last guy.
Exactly. If I'm playing, you know, who's on the bench?
Well in Mars news, John, the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has been orbiting Mars for almost
20 years. It's got five instruments on board. They're pointed at Mars. They're doing stuff.
And it's just learned a new trick. Can you believe that? You know what that trick is?
What's the new trick?
It can roll over.
Oh, it can go upside down?
It can roll over. Oh, it can go upside down? It can roll over. That's exciting. So, the team orbiting the orbiter could roll it up to 30 degrees
in any direction to help point at the various instruments at different targets on the planet.
That's hard enough because you have to keep track of where all the other instruments are going to be
pointed to make sure that all the people doing
science with that data are getting what they want. One of the instruments on the orbiter is called the shallow radar and it helps
scientists see things like ice and rock and sand and it might be particularly good at figuring out
where there might be ice close to the surface which could be helpful for future astronauts and also just science in general.
So they wanted to see if they could execute what they called a very large roll, which would be around 120 degrees and
would allow the shallow radar a better view of Mars. These are super hard to do because they
require a lot of planning to make sure the spacecraft will be like okay after it does it.
And in a recent paper, scientists reported that they were able to do three very large roles
between 2023 and 2024, which is exciting,
but also because of the time that it takes
to do these roles, the mission is currently limited
to doing only one or two very large roles per year.
Oh, wow.
So it turns out you can teach an old craft new tricks.
That's right.
Yeah, that's great, man.
Congratulations on your three very large roles that led to, I believe, a 360 degree turn.
And I am after this.
I may have another very large role.
All right. Well, before that, we've got to go do our Patreon only live stream
that we do every month to say hi to our many patrons. We're very grateful
to all of you. You can join them at patreon.com slash dear Hank and John. But regardless of
whether you're a patron, thank you so much for listening. This podcast is edited by Ben
Sfordout. It's mixed by Joseph Tuna-Medish. Our marketing specialist is Brooke Shotwell. It's
produced by Rosianna Holtz-Rojas and Hannah West. Our executive producer is Seth Radley. Our
editorial assistant is Deboki Chakravarti. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the
podcast is by The Great Gunnarolla. And as they say in our hometown,
Don't forget to be awesome.