Dear Hank & John - 442: They’ve Been Plants the Whole Time

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

Do you ever wonder if a listener question comes from a celebrity? Why are most metals gray?  Why does holding a baby silence the worry? How do you decide what to do after school? Can moles convert CO2 to Oxygen? How do you deal with grief? How do potatoes know which way is up? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohnProduced for Hank and John Green by ComplexlySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening to a complexly podcast. And welcome to dear Hank and John. Or as I prefer to think of it, dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to B's advice, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, I have a friend. I think he might be addicted to break fluid. He says he can stop any time. That's not bad.

Okay. I'm good. I am so tired. And I'm worried because as we're recording this, it's right before the project for awesome. Yeah. I am like, I feel like something is is sapping the energy from my body and it's probably just not sleeping enough. Yeah, I actually have a fever right now. Oh, no. You look amazing. Like your hair, what's going on there? Olympic fever. Oh, no. Olympic fever, Hank. I got a bad case. Okay. Which, what's your, what's your, what's your favorite piece of drama? Mixed doubles curling, Hank.

Oh, one man, one woman, sometimes brother and sister, sometimes husband and wife, sometimes just buddies from the curling crew in Duluth, Minnesota. Like Corey and Corey, the Americans who stunned the world by getting the silver medal.

Hey. Miracle on Ice, part two. You will never find me more patriotic than when it comes to the Olympics. Suddenly I've become just a massive, a massive fan of the United States of America. Here's okay, I watched a little clip where someone's broom broke and they fell and they like kicked a stone. What happens when that happens?

And if you kick a stone, they have the right to place it. Oh, they could put it wherever they want. Well, no, they have to put it about where they think it would have been. Oh, wow. Is there no other penalty besides that? The one time I saw it happened to Corey and Corey, there was no other penalty. Wow, I would have thought that that would have been a big deal. I bet they send you home.

You go straight onto the plane. My understanding is that curling is largely a sport defined by its sportsmanship, you know, one of those. Yeah, for now. Until it gets really high status. And then they're flopping on the ground, pretend to be injured, all that stuff. That never happens in football. If that only happened in high status football, explain why it happens at AFC Wimbledon all the time. The culture has been defined by the high status football.

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. I think it was always thus. I don't know. It's interesting. You don't, you know, I guess penalties aren't the same in most sports where it's just, they're very consequential.

Yeah. A penalty is a big, big deal in football. Yeah. So, like, that's probably why they flop. And penalties are going to be big deals in curling when we introduce my new rules. If you touch one of those, whatever. If you ever touched it, we take. You shall be separated from your foot, sir.

That's ours now. Now you have to, you have to, and that becomes your curling stone. You have to throw your foot down the thing. Oh, wow. Well, I'm sorry you're tired, Hank, but you still have all the same creativity that I've come to know and love over the years. So it's good. I'm excited for the Project for Awesome,

although it will probably be over by the time this podcast actually airs. Yes, very much. So I hope you had a good P for A and I'm sorry that you can't donate anymore. But you can always donate to Complexly, which is now a non-profit. Complexly.org. It's dot org. That's right. That's right.

Do you want to talk about that at all? Do we want to get into it? Oh, yeah. Let's get into it for a minute. Yeah. I just, I've done like a bunch of interviews and I feel like I'm doing a bad job because we hired a PR firm and they were like, you got to stick to the message. And I'm like, you got the wrong.

You definitely have the wrong guy for sticking to the message. They like booked me on this podcast and the guy started the podcast and then he like immediately started asking me questions about the topic of the podcast and I was like, when do I say my thing? And he did not bring it up at all. I had to like say it at the end. Wow. Well, let's say it at the beginning here. We have decided to transition complexly from being owned by Hank and John Green or as I prefer to think of it, John and Hank Green, to being. owned by the public as a nonprofit organization. Yeah, it's interesting. How the ownership actually works. I was like, who actually owns a nonprofit? And it just kind of owns itself.

Yeah. Well, it's owned by the people who care about it, which is appropriate for complexly. We decided that we've experienced the incentives of the platforms as a business for long enough. And we'd like to experience the incentives of a nonprofit in this space. And I think that, like, so far it's been, it's, I think very, it's felt like the right decision the whole time. Yeah, it definitely feels like the right decision. I mean, only you and I know how much money we left on the table, but even so, even so amongst ourselves, it feels like the right decision. Because, you know, ultimately, complexly, which makes Crash Course and SciShow and lots of other educational media, it's not right for it to be owned by a private corporation or, you know,

even private individuals. And so the succession plan had to be some version of it being owned by the people who benefit from it and care about it. And really, the built-in way to do that is to become a nonprofit. Yeah. And there were lots of things pushing us in that direction, including all of the support that we have gotten from people over the years who've been giving money to a for-profit organization, trusting that we're not going to put it into our pockets, which we did not do. And I am so grateful to all of those people for getting crash course coins, getting special postcards. Supporting the Dear Hank and John Patreon, which has always gone to complexly. And we'll continue, we should say, we'll continue to support complexly at the Dear

Hank and John Patreon. Yeah. For the foreseeable future, that may change at some point, but if it does, we'll communicate. Yeah. I think, well, I think if we do, like, there will be a new Patreon that we will start from scratch for Dear Hank and John or something like that. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Yeah.

I'm not that worried about it. And I don't think the people who listen to this podcast are that worried about it either. But yeah, we're really excited that it's, thank you for trusting us. And we hope that we have, we work really, really hard to try to repay that trust and not abuse it. Because it's an easy thing to abuse and it's easy to make decisions that are about making money. and sometimes we make those decisions to be clear, but this time it just felt like we couldn't. So this was the choice we did.

Well, yeah, I want the thing to be pushing us to, because one of the things was all of the sort of business things that we should have been doing would have potentially decreased our impact pretty substantially. It was like, how do you charge for things? How do you make it so that it's harder to access them? And I was like, that's not what we want to do. And we kept sort of running up against those opportunities.

and not making those decisions in a way that pretty that almost indicated that maybe we were more mission driven than revenue driven. And that mission is constrained in a way that that is pretty non-profity. We want to be a content company. We want to make stuff for people. Yeah. And now we get to make stuff for people while also enjoying not owning the business, which for me is a big win. like owning the business was stressful. That too.

I mean, it will continue to be stressful because we will continue to care about it. But that's what stress is, John. It's care. Stress is care. Manifest. But there can be too much of it. And I had too much of it.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. And now I have a little less. Can we answer some questions from our listeners beginning with this one from Fay? Yes, we can. Dear John and Hank, do you ever wonder if a question

you answer on the pod might be from a famous person. Like maybe one of the many tailors you read questions from was, in fact, Taylor, Allison Swift, or maybe she used her middle name to be more anonymous, or maybe even something completely unrelated to her just in case people are too perceptive. I like using a pseudonym on the internet for privacy, and I'm not even famous, so I imagine celebrities must use them all the time. O'Fey, I think you radically underestimate the extent to which celebrities are narcissistic.

But anyway, and yes. But most of this synonymous celebrity posting is, in the replies to the celebrities these posts. Actually, I think he has a good point. Somebody tagged me on Reddit in a post that said, just said, I hate John Green. It was in response to, it was like, who's a celebrity who everybody likes who you hate? Me? It was I hate John Green.

That was the question. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And I wanted to reply, you think you hate him. But I didn't. I stopped myself. Anyway, let's get back to this question from Faye, aka Taylor Swift.

Yeah. Ah, Faye. Like, Failer Swift? Like maybe she changes her name to a totally different name to be more anonymous,

something completely, or maybe very slightly related, like Faye for example. Taylor, we see. you. We see you. We see you. We appreciate you. We know you're a fan. Well, I mean, she is, weirdly, but yeah. I don't know. Wait, is she? A fan? Of you? Yeah. Of your books. Yeah. Not of, like us. Well, I assume that every, all of the 30 million people who read the

fault in our stars also went on to listen to our hit podcast for teens and sleep, dear Hank and John. I forget. Remember the time when I introduced a new segment we had to stop because we're a sleep podcast? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're too much of a sleep podcast. And people didn't like the music. In the middle of things, like I, like, because I wanted to be like the Magleroy Brothers. I'd say, it's time for a million dollar idea. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Hank, you're ruining the sleep podcast. They just started. They're fine. Okay. And then I'd pitch you on a million dollar idea. Yeah, I remember the whole bit. 99998

997 just keep counting all right we're going to get through this question from Fay if it's the last thing I do and it might be Fay writes maybe the last question you read was from a famous person

and you'll never know maybe this question is Fay yeah do we still sign off with pumpkins and penguins or is that to 2016 Fay we still sign off with pumpkins and penguins I know a lot of celebrities listen to this podcast I know it for a fact all right How do you know that for a fact?

Because sometimes I'll meet a celebrity and they'll say like, I like, I like, I can't believe you listen to my podcast. That's so weird. I mean, we're not talking about necessarily huge celebrities. Mike Barbiglia, for instance, listens to the podcast. Oh, my goodness. And I love Mike Barbiglia. And I think he's a proper... He's got a good podcast. I love his podcast.

I know. His podcast is way better than ours. It's called Working It Out. You should listen to that. It's a great sleep podcast. Oh, my God. You'll laugh and you'll sleep. You'll laugh in your sleep.

That's, I mean, that's an adorable visual. I feel like you've never laughed at my sleep. Cutest possible thing a person could do. I talk in my sleep, but the voice that I use is this really scared child voice. And Sarah's always like, you're talking in your sleep and it's really weird and freaking me out. Yikes. Yeah. Yikes.

It's the only voice I can use. And sometimes I'll be in my dream. I'll be like, oh, no, I got to speak. And I'm going to have to use that fragile child voice. Weird. You're so, you're so messed up. I am messed up. I am, it's true. I'm not going to deny it. You know, the other thing that's weird about me that I've never confessed on this podcast. Why do you look so good right now, by the way? Why did you, why did you look? I just got a haircut. I got a haircut today. Like, that's how they styled it? I got a haircut at 11 a.m. and it's 1.23 p.m. So I haven't had time to mess it up yet. Okay. It looks great. The other thing about my sleep that I've never confessed to anyone in my life,

but we'll now confess on this podcast, is you know how you wake up in the morning with a song in your head for some reason? Almost every morning I wake up with the same song in my head. I feel like you have confessed this before on this podcast. Oh, God. That's so, I mean, we've made so many episodes. I feel like it's from the 70s. It is.

Or the 80s, maybe. female singer. It is a female singer. I'll even give you a hint. It's Bet Midler. Oh, I thought it was wind beneath my wings. It is wind beneath my wings. Oh, that's Bed Midler. I don't know. In beaches? Oh, beaches. It's from beaches. I've right. I haven't heard the song. I assume that's a movie or an album. It's a, it's a movie. It's a really sad movie. People say it's the fault in our stars of the 80s. I guess that is the 80s. You know what's funny? I don't really. I don't really. like movies like that. I also, I will wake up with, I have a couple of anchor songs and it doesn't bother me and it seems like it would.

No, it doesn't bother me at all. I love, you are the wind beneath my way. The women in my wings. That's what I always, that's what I always sing to myself. If anybody could cut that and mix it into a John Green version of the song, that'd be great. An EDM song. Yeah. The way of my knee thy wings.

Boom. Sorry, we're asleep podcast. I don't. So do you think Mike Rabigley has ever sent us a... I bet it's happened. Look, I know it's happened. You think that they... You think celebrities would say, hey, it's celebrity.

Totally. Because then they're more likely to get their question answered. Yes, I think they would 100% be like, hey, it's me. Tim Apple. Man, if I had Tim Apple's email address, what do you think I'd do with it? Nothing. Same thing I do with Elon Musk's... text message address.

Aye, aye, aye. Well, hopefully those guys are on different lists. What's hope so? It does seem to be a list that a lot of them are on, but moving on. I think we've answered Faye's question. Not well, but we've answered it. We're kind of a meth right now, but we'll lock in. Yeah.

All right, this next question, John, it comes from Ruth, who asks Dear Hankajon, rocks and gases come in every color imaginable. Why are metals always silver slash gray? I guess iron turns red when it oxidizes, but in their base form, I feel like metals are all pretty much the same color. The opposite of Ruthless, I'm full of Ruth. Oh, man, I make that joke in my new book. Wow. And I don't want people to think that I stole this idea from Ruth.

So you have to say it right now. I have to say it separate from Ruth. So I feel like I have to say it right now, establish that the date is February 11. the 2026, and this has been in my manuscript for at least five years. Okay. Good. You don't want to joke thief in the house. No.

I asked this question, John, I chose this question from Ruth to discuss on the podcast, specifically because I and Toboki have worked hard to try and understand this, and we have failed. And I think that sometimes we should just say that. You know, there's all kinds of like, there's things you can. can say and you'll be like, oh, that sounds like an explanation, but you won't get it. Like to actually, like I have not gotten myself to get it. And if I can't get it, then I feel like I can't help other people get it. I will say there are some metals that are not silver.

Famously, there's one that is gold. And copper is another example. There's one that's gold. Thanks. Yeah. It's a good joke. And then there are alloys that are different colors. But they are all like shiny. There's like a there's a thing that they all have in common. And that's for real. And, and oxidize like oxidation doesn't count. That's a totally different compound. The, yeah, but and there's a reason. And there are people who get it. But it's a, it's a light thing and it's an electrons thing. And it's an orbitals thing. And it's like deep in there. And I struggle, you struggle with light. I don't like light. Somebody asked me recently, they said, Hank, why, why when a rock gets wet, does it get darker?

And I was like, I'm going to figure this one out, no problem. Two hours later, two hours later. I get it better, but this is the thing. One of the reasons, there's more than one reason. So there's multiple effects occurring at the same time. But one of them, one of the reasons has to do with the fact that when light hits a rock, it goes in a little bit. It doesn't just reflect.

back. It partly goes in. That seems wrong. That's not what, that's not how I understand rocks to be. But actually there is a, there is a depth that the light penetrates that is not zero. Does the light penetrate me? Yeah, for sure. Actually, much more than it would penetrate a rock. That's very good metaphorically. Held up like a like a strong flashlight to your hand, you know? Oh yeah, that's true. That's very, that's a very good, that's, that's a reasonably good metaphor. It's like that. The light can get in. In fact, the light always gets in.

The light always gets in if there is any. If there is any. I have an artwork in my house by the great artist Carl Pope who makes posters for mottos that it's sort of like our sponsors on the podcast. Yeah. You know, like posters for mottos that are underappreciated or that no one else would ever like, you know, put a put on a poster necessarily. And one of them says, nobody made the darkness. And I just love that. I love it. That's good. It's so true. It's so deep and it's so

true. That's good. All right. So we don't know the answer to why metals tend to be shiny and silver. We as humanity do, but we as Hank and John do not. We as John sure don't. All right, Let's answer another question, Hank. This one from Heather, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I just started listening to your podcast after a Reddit recommendation and I've been enjoying it a lot. As a fellow worried person, my mind likes to spiral on big and little things. And recently, my best friend had a baby and I went to meet him. He's cute and small and I adore him.

But my most surprising thing is that when I held him, the worry went away. And all I could think about was how silly it was to be a worried person when the only thing that mattered in the world was this little baby. I don't have children yet. I was wondering if this is a universal experience. And also while holding a baby would silence the worry. Thanks. You can call me any flower if you want to, Heather.

Well, we went with Heather, which is one of them. Piany. Sorry, it took me a second. I didn't get the joke. I'm going with Pony. Piany, here's the thing. When I first held my child, the worry did not go away. So I'm very glad you had this experience,

but I can say with absolute certainty that it's not universal. Yeah. Tulip, I agree. though there is like a thing that I had. I remember being like, oh, I'm not worried that I'm doing the wrong thing right now.

You know? That, yeah, right? I remember wanting to. Finally, I'm like, this is exactly the right thing

I should be doing right now, which is a valuable feeling, and not one that I was expecting to get. So in the same way as you, Lillac, I had this moment where I felt like something pretty different. every time I would hold my kids when they were very, very little, I would think about this thing I'd been told once

that probably isn't even true that they can feel your anxiety. Oh, boy. And I would be like, don't feel it. Exactly. I would be like, don't communicate anxiety to them. But you are worried. It's like when I finished cancer treatment, and my doctor was like, one of the things you're going to want to do

is avoid any excess stress. And I was like, don't say that. That's very stressful. I don't know how to avoid stress, Doc. And now every time I feel stress. It's not one of my expertise is. Now every time I feel stress, I'm going to have the compounding stress of knowing when I'm losing my risk for cancer.

Yeah. I don't have that anymore, though now that I've said this, I might have it a little bit. But I had it really strong for the first year and a half. Yeah. I will agree with you, Hank, that when you're holding a baby, you feel like you're doing the thing that you're supposed to be doing. And that is clarifying in some ways, right? Like even if it's not necessarily solving the anxiety,

it clarifies one facet of anxiety, which is like, what the hell am I supposed to be doing all the time? Yeah. It helps with that. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good, man. Holding a baby underrated.

Sarah is always like, hey, don't ask to hold that baby. You don't know that baby, and you don't even know that parent. And I'm always like, oh, I don't ask to hold that baby. It's been a long time since I held a baby, to be honest with me. It's nice. Yeah, you got to get more younger friends. I know. I got to get friends in their 20s. But they're so energetic. It's true. No. You know? I mean, God, I cannot believe that's the nonsense that we used to get up to.

We had so much time. We had so much time and so much energy. So much energy. I remember I used to run down the halls of a hotel just to feel myself running down the halls of a hotel. That's definitely a good childhood activity. But I did it when I was like 30. Oh, wow. Cute. I know.

Which reminds you that today's podcast is brought to you by running down the halls of a hotel. Running down the halls of a hotel just because you can, do it now because when you're 48, it's not going to be there. This podcast is also brought to you by the goldest metal. The goldest metal. It's gold. And also probably won by Canada in the couple's curling. No, it was actually won by Sweden.

Very exciting final game. I was very proud of Corey and Corey for how they behaved and just held themselves. Look, being an Olympic medalist is an incredible achievement, whether that medal is gold or silver or bronze, which it occurs to me are three different colors. It's true. Bronze, though, is not an element. That's right. Bronze comes from smelting of some kind, right? That's why we have the Bronze Age.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The kind of fact-checking that I don't appreciate for the record. Which reminds me that today's podcast is also brought to you by Hank's fact-checking.

Hank's fact-checking. I've had about enough of it. This podcast is also brought to you by Failor Swift. Failor-Swift. We know you're watching. We know you're listening. We know you're a fan.

And also Bet Midler, who's also listening. And is the wind beneath John's wings. Huge fan of the pod. hear from Bet all the time. Yeah. Is Bett with us? I believe so. Let's double check real quick just to make sure we didn't hurt anybody's feelings.

She's here. She's at it. How's she doing? She's in Honolulu, Hawaii. And she's 80. She's 80. That's a good run. Ooh, she's been married to the same person since 1984.

Oh. Yvonne Hasselberg, no less. Of course. I don't want to say that it seems like from Wikipedia that Bet Midler has it figured out but it does seem like she has it figured out I mean she's got a six decade career she's 80 years old

she's been married to the same person since 1984 she has a Grammy she's 5-1 I mean that's a pretty good life 5-1 yeah Martin von Hasselberg I clicked on that and it opened the Wikipedia page

for the Kipper Kids oh a duo of which Martin Martin Roches Sebastian von Hasselberg is one of. They're known for their extreme often comedic performance art. Oh, they're comedic performance artists.

I enjoy a comedic performance artist. One time I was at a performance art event with Sarah and the artist was handing out like candy that tasted intentionally bad. Oh, yes. He'd candied disgusting things. Sure. And he was like, eat it.

And I was like, I don't want to. And he was like, it's part of the performance. And I was like, all right, because I don't want to be a bother. You know, like, I'll do anything to not be a bother. And so it was crab, it was crab flavored. It wasn't great. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. That's the story. It's not my best story. That sounds gross. I wish I, oh, we have to end the sponsors, though, so the real sponsorship can play. Good show. This episode of Dear Hangajon is brought to you by Lisa. Are you excited that you may soon be living the classic adult.

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We're really crushing it on this episode of Dear Hank and John. This next question comes from Andre. It's been a loose one. You know, sometimes you get a tight 45, and sometimes you get a real loosey-goosey sleep podcast, and you never know which one you're going to get. Dear John and Hank, I'm coming up on one year post-graft with my bachelor's in environmental studies. I do not currently have any interest or funds for more school. How do you decide what route to pursue?

I deeply believe that it is never too late to shift track. So that's not necessarily where this trepidation is coming from. Nothing is permanent in a good way. But I am struggling to envision myself in any career right now. I recently interviewed for what I thought was my dream job. And not only did I not get it, but more importantly, I left the interview process, not really wanting it. I don't know if it's the constant uncertainty in the political sphere or what, but I don't know what to do or how to decide might be joining the Peace Corps. Audrey, Audrey, join the Peace Corps. Yeah, that actually, I think you figured it out. I don't know. That's what my best... If that's an option. That's what my best friend did. And then he came home and started a business based on his experience in the Peace Corps and did that for the next 30 years. And it was great. Yeah. I mean, it's 2026. Don't think that you're making a choice that's going to be the choice that you

are stuck in for the rest of your life. Because it's going to change. Well, I don't think Audrey thinks that at all. But I think it is hard to decide. I remember, like, when I was on age, I have this vivid memory of applying for like 20 jobs in one day. And it was like as a paralegal, as a religion teacher at a Catholic school, as a publishing assistant at a magazine, at a bowling journal. I had no idea what I wanted to do and no idea how to figure out what I wanted to do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's so much like who, there's the, there's the instability of the world right now and of the job market and of like education and and of everything. And then there's like, but there's also like the lack of knowledge of who you are and what you

enjoy. Right. You know? And so you're going to have to try a lot of things to figure that out, but try, try them for sure. And like literally, I think that the Peace Corps is a baller option. I think it is a winning move that a lot more people should consider. I don't disagree at all. I think that the other thing you can do, Andre, is go through interview processes like the one you went through where you realize that my dream job is not my dream job or this is not my field. I thought I wanted to work in the nonprofit sphere and it turns out that it moves too slowly, whatever it is. I think that's a really good thing to do. It's a cheap way to learn lessons.

So I'd encourage that as well. Congratulations on being out in it. It's hard and messy out here. This next question comes from Matt who asks, Dear Hank and John, I work in pest convales. I love, this is such a cool question. I work in pest control and was told by my employer that moles have the ability to convert CO2 to oxygen due to their hemoglobin. Is that really possible? How can a mammal not be affected by pure CO2, not gloss, Matt?

I love it when I don't get it until I say it. Yes, I do too. Oh man, that's happened twice today. I, um, yes, Matt, this is not a thing, but there is a thing. So I love this, this is often the case where you hear a thing and it's like, that can't be right. And it isn't, but there's a thing underneath it. And moles kick ass and are very weird. They do a couple of things and one of them involves their hemoglobin, but they do not convert carbon dioxide to oxygen.

If they did, they would be plants and that would be really weird. That would be awesome. I mean, just stop real quick and imagine with me a mole that is also a plant. Yeah, it just turned out one day we were like, holy moly. ha it turns out that that those mole things they've been plants the whole time they're trees they're little trees that move that's why they're underground exactly they're like roots kind of their trees they're like they're like potatoes they're like potatoes they're like moving potatoes movable potatoes turns out the whole time they were potatoes so no they cannot do that there's a bunch of chemistry reasons why that's not possible

but the thing that they do do with their hemoglobin is that their hemoglobin is extremely good, it's better than ours at binding to oxygen. So even in very low oxygen environments, they can pull that oxygen out of the air and it can be theirs, and so it binds really well to oxygen.

But there is another effect with CO2 that also matters. So you think that the reason that if you, that like carbon dioxide kills you, is because you're asphyxating. And that's usually true. So usually when there's a bunch of carbon dioxide you're breathing in, it's because there's no oxygen.

But that isn't actually the only way that CO2 can kill you. CO2 on its own, even if there's plenty of oxygen in the atmosphere, can kill you. If there's a high enough concentration of CO2, it can compete for space in your hemoglobin. So that's one thing I can do. But more importantly, it raises the acidity of your blood and that kills you. It just like your blood gets too acidic and you die. So you have to not be in a situation where there's too much CO2 in the atmosphere. Moles are in that situation all the time.

So what do they do? They store the CO2 in their bodies. So they have a special molecule. Like trees. No, trees do chemistry with CO2 and turn the CO2 into carbohydrates that they then store in their bodies. Moles don't do any chemistry to the CO2. They just grab it and hold onto it. And then later, when they're in a situation where they can exhale it, they exhale it.

So they have a system for storing CO2. It's basically just like a molecule in their blood that's really good at binding up CO2 so that the CO2 isn't in solution and isn't acidifying their blood. So they can indeed survive in high CO2 environments and low oxygen environments, but it isn't because they can convert the CO2 to oxygen. Have we thought about using mole blood as a carbon capture strategy? You know, the things that we got right now are better, certainly the ones that are plants. Oh, right. That's true. There is another form of life that captures carbon pretty effectively and it turns it into wood.

Yeah, which unfortunately can't, not even that will do it. People will often say, like, here's what we need to do. And the stat that is so upsetting but true is that if you burned every plant that exists on Earth right now. So if you took all of the stored carbon that is in every living plant right now, you burned it, that would emit less CO2 than we have emitted from burning fossil fuels. And I think like less than half of the CO2 that we have emitted from burning fossil fuels. So yeah. Yikes. If we're going to use plants, it's going to be part of a broader strategy, and then we will have to prevent the plants from decaying, which is not particularly easy, because when that happens, it re-releases the CO2.

All right, let's stay on bummers, Hank. Let's answer this question from Jeff, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I've got a bummer question for you guys. So in the last five years, my wife's mother and grandfather both passed away. Our two dogs both died, and I lost both of my parents to cancer. Do you have any dubious advice for how to deal with grief piling on grief? P.S. Listen to your podcast helps. Thank you for the respite. Pumpkins and penguins, Jeff. Jeff, I feel like you've ruined it. How? Well, now your respite podcast has your grief in it.

Oh, that's true. That's a really good point. I'm sorry. Yeah, we are sorry to pile grief upon grief now upon grief. Here's, I'll say two things about this. First, Cheryl Strad once said that when you're in a period of intense grief, it's like you are living on planet. My parents just died and everyone else is living on planet Earth. Yeah. And the disconnect there is so profound that it's just hard to navigate. And people make it even more awkward by asking you like how you're doing or whatever. And you're like, well, not great. I mean, both my parents just died. So that was a bummer. And you don't know how to say that in a casual conversation. And so, you know, all kinds of reasons why it's disorienting. But it's also distancing. Like it distances you from the rest of the social order and the rest of and all the people on it in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it puts you into this other world. That's such a good, I hadn't experienced that really, like that true alienation where like someone asks you, how are you doing? And there's literally not a way you can answer. And like, it almost is a crushing question until I got diagnosed with lymphoma. And then I was like, I was like, I cannot believe that these people are just in the grocery store. And like, just shopping and just living. Like nothing has.

happened when like I have cancer. The other thing that I would say, Jeff, about this is that what you are going through feels like, I'm sure feels very isolating for you and your spouse that, you know, because it's been so intense and so profound and the loss has been so multitudinous. But it's not, right? Like most of us will bury our parents.

Most of us will have a lot of loss in our lives. And it doesn't make you distant from humanity. It makes you an intimate part of humanity is what I would say. I know that it often doesn't feel that way. But that's because we don't do a good job talking about loss and death and grief. And we tend to brush it aside or try to minimize it or place it under the rug or whatever. Do you think that we used to be better at this and got worse at it? Absolutely.

We were so much better at it. it because death wasn't a foreign distant thing. It was a part of, it was a natural normal part of life. And the medicalization of death in many ways has been good, of course. But it also means, I think, that it's something we're more distant from. Like, a lot of us have never seen anyone die. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or very few people. You know, only those who are closest to us or whatever. I mean obviously like death and grief were always you know world-shakingly like it's it's almost like the world wasn't supposed to be shaped the way that it is now it was supposed to be shaped a certain it's like it's like an earthquake where suddenly the ground is moving and you're like that's not what ground does you know like what mom does is she exists and now mom doesn't exist and and that like that you know it's like that you know it's And, you know, the ultimate difficult to imagine existence is non-existence is like, like I someday will not be here.

And, you know, we build technologies to deal with that. And I think that sometimes those technologies are so powerful. But we've, I am so focused on truth that I have a hard time incorporating them, these systems for helping us deal with the trauma of reality, you know. that like yeah yeah it's more of a John thing than a Hank thing for sure yeah I don't know I I feel like there's always an urge to want to go back to the world as it was before I think Kurt Vonnegut said once that home is Indianapolis and I'm nine years old and my mother is alive and I can't get back there right yeah and there's always that feeling especially after

you know in the months and years after intense loss there's always that feeling of i can't ever go back there i can't get back to where i was before and it's true you can't go back but you can't go forward and you will and that has to be the the hope that you will go forward with the knowledge that not only is death possible but it's inevitable and you'll still find a way to forge hopefulness and and a good life amid that knowledge. Yeah. And I assume that like time is the thing that does the most good in this situation. Yeah, but I also think processing it with friends, talking to people, like being open,

all that stuff helps too. Yeah. Thanks for your question, Jeff. Thank you. Our last question, before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, comes from Chloe, who writes, Dear John and Hank, a few weeks ago, my roommates and I bought a sweet potato. My apartment's kitchen is pretty dark.

and after a while of abandoning our sweet potato, it began to grow upwards, you know, the way that potatoes do. My question is this, how does my potato know which way is up? It grows upwards in the ground, so it must have the same reason to grow up in the kitchen, right? But, like, how does it know what up is,

trying to not be grossed out by potato growths, Chloe? How does it know what up is, Hank? Your potato can sense things. Oh. Yeah, like, it's, this is, we actually, I think we have a side show about this that has been recorded, but it's not out yet. But there are ways that plants sense up and down and they are complicated and they are awesome.

And they can. And it took us a while to figure out. Like, it took us a while to figure out that it was a thing. There was like, there was like botanists putting plants and centrifuges and just like seeing if they grew toward the middle of the centrifuge or if there was a magnetic field thing. Like they didn't know what was going on. But it's they are actually able to sense gravity and they know which way is down, which is wild. because they're plants. But, you know, like, they needed to.

They needed to be able to know. Famously potatoes. Just like your potatoes are. Just potatoes full of blood. That's so horrifying image. It was like a horror movie. Like you're having a potato fight with your brother and they start exploding with blood. And you're going to have that dream tonight.

And you're going to be talking in your baby. voice. I am going to be talking in my little baby, my little innocent, oh no, I'm so scared right now. It's like I can barely squeak out the words. And it's always what I'm terrified. Like I only speak in my dreams when like it's the last possible thing. Yeah. I'm like, all right, I guess I've got to beg for my life now. Yeah. Well, Chloe, your question has been had for many years and we have gotten mostly to the bottom of it. And I

I hope the episode of SciShow was out because it's complicated enough that I can't remember all the details. All right. Well, there you go, Chloe. At least an introduction. And then SciShow has your back if you need a further, deeper answer. Hank, it's time for the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. I'll go first. AFC Wimbledon had not won a game at home since September 27th until they just did.

Hey! We won three to all three girls. goals scored by Nerd Fighteria's own Marcus Brown. That's right. All three? Yes, the person I helped bring, you helped bring. All of us together helped bring to AFC Wimbledon. Marcus Brown scored three goals to win a football game, three, two. And then we also beat Port Vale away from home one-nill, which means that suddenly we are only four, arguably five, hopefully four wins away from being able to stay up and we have 18 games in which to get those four or possibly five wins. Now, I know what you're thinking, that doesn't sound like a tall task. But remember, we just lost 12 in a row,

so it's not easy. You got to keep doing the winning. Did you, did you not, did you also, you just won one game so far and to break your streak of losses? We won one home game, but we also won an away game. So we have two, we have two wins on the bounce, as they say. Nice. Yes, I'm very excited. I really like this version of AFC Wimbledon, and I want them to succeed. Like, I like our manager, and I like our players, and I like our general manager a ton, and I think, like, they've got a great team around the team, and then also the team is full of

really charismatic, wonderful young men, and I just, I want them to succeed so much. and it has been brutal to watch every home game since September knowing that a win is unlikely. So to break that streak was a huge moment for Plow Lane and hopefully from here we can move on. And you know my dream, Hank, my dream is that we play like two or three games this season where we're not at risk of being relegated.

That's my dream. Just two or three relaxing games where it does not matter what happens. That sounds awesome. And you'll get there. buddy? What's the news from Mars? Oh my God. I'm going to do it, John. The news from Mars is that that last year, Elon Musk tweeted, and let me find the quote for you. Yeah. We are going straight to Mars. The moon is a distraction. Yes. Mass to orbit is the key metric.

Thereafter mass to Mars to Mars surface. The former needs to be in Megaton orbit per year range to build a self-sustaining colony on Mars. And then this year, which is a mere year later, He has, in fact, for those unaware, SpaceX has already shifted focus to building a self-growing city on the moon, as we can potentially achieve that in less than 10 years, whereas Mars would take 20-plus years. Wow. Elon changing his tune. What's next? Doesn't sound like humans are going to get to Mars by 2027, Hank. I'm not a scientist, but I think your last best shot just went out. out the window. I knew, I got to believe that I knew that I was making a bet that I would lose,

right? You didn't. I knew that. Right? You didn't. Back then, you sort of believed in the Elon Musk timeline, which was a huge error on your part, on a few levels. I, I, and it's, especially on the level where I made it a thing we would have to talk about a bunch. Just like, I could keep experiencing the shame and regret. Oh, man. We are not going to the moon next. year. I'm almost positive. Much less Mars. Oh, sorry. We're not going to Mars next year.

We're also not going to the moon next year. We're going to fly around it, hopefully, in March, maybe. That is the other news is that the Artemis had a test filling and there was a leak in the

space launch system. So they've pushed back the launch to at least March. Well, I am sorry. I'm sorry that we're not going to the moon or Mars. I really am. I genuinely am. I want to live to see us go to Mars.

I am so frustrated, I have to tell you, by the way the news media and just everyone respond to these Elon Musk statements because they're no more based in reality than they've ever been. and it's so frustrating to me to see this argument that we have to become a multi-planetary civilization in order to survive be treated with any seriousness whatsoever. It is so overwhelmingly obvious that we should absolutely explore Mars and try to make it habitable for humans and that should be a big goal and we should have big dreams, not because they are easy but because they are hard, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But like the idea that we must immediately become a multi-planetary species or go extinct is so destructive to humanity.

And I'm only saying this because nobody listens to the news from Mars and Nancy Wimbledon. But like to me it's so destructive to the underlying human project, which is an earth-based project and will be for centuries to come. Yeah. I agree. And we just can't stop paying attention. of stuff. You know, like, I don't know what it is that makes stuff so easy to pay attention to, but like that guy's saying making claims, making big claims, is like, well, I feel like we got to pay attention to that. Can we just ban him from the podcast? I mean, can we ban him from the

Mars News? Like, he isn't making Mars News. We mostly have. I honestly, I was thinking about just talking about Artemis, but I decided to do that anyway. And I guess it makes sense because it is a moment where the podcast name is going to change. like officially. Yeah. So that's good for me. Yeah. I get to do the intro in the future.

I'm excited about that. I've been revving up my intro voice. Are you going to have to do dad jokes? No, no, no. I'll still turn over to you for that. Okay. Well, John, thank you for making a podcast with me. Thank you.

Thanks to everybody for their questions. You can question, question us or indeed ask us a question at hank and John at gmail.com. This podcast is edited by Linus Oban House. It's mixed by Joseph Tuna Meddish. Our marketing specialist is Brooke Shotwell. It's produced by Rosiana Halsoh Rojas and Hannah West. Our executive producer is Seth Radley. Our editorial assistant is Debugitok Rivardi.

The music you're hearing now, and at the beginning of the podcast, by the Great Gunnarola. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. You are the women in my wings.