Dear Hank & John - 445: Bring Me My Favorites

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

Can I get an MRI or go through TSA without setting off alarms after getting a knee replacement? Would chugging a hardcore energy drink kill a medieval peasant? What was the go-to mini-break activity before doom-scrolling? What happened to Soggy Pitch? Where should I bring my parents in Amsterdam? Did you have to face excruciating conversations with your parents when you were teens? How do things survive in the deepest parts of the ocean? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohnProduced for Hank and John Green by ComplexlySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening to a complexly podcast. And welcome to Dear Hank and John. Yours, I prefer to think of it, dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to me the week's advice and bringing me all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbled and John. Do you know why they call it chicken box? No, why? Actually, nobody does.

Really? Yeah, it is an up for debate. We're not sure. It might, the most likely reason, and this is the silliest and worst, reason is that the French at some point called it chickenpox after chickpeas and they would call it their version of chick pox because they looked kind of like chickpeas but they don't. They don't really look like chickpeas. They're red for one thing. There's also the idea that they look like maybe a chicken pecked you and there's also the idea and this is my favorite one

but it's almost certainly not it. It's like smallpox but it's a chicken. Huh? Like it's like it's the woozy version of smallpox. Oh, it's like the chicken version of smallpox. Okay, I can get into that. I, like they call cowpox, cowpox, because you got it from cows. They didn't think in the past that you got it from chickens? No, no, no, no, they never thought you got it from chickens. That was never a thing.

Wow. Well. Yeah. There is no animal reservoir for chickenpox, which means it is eradicable. And indeed will be eradicated in the fullness of time because. Man, I think it will be. We've got a good vaccine for it now, which means that in the future, if you get the chickenpox vaccine, you won't have to get shingles, which Hank currently has, which is basically a chickenpox reactivation.

There is a small chance that you would still get shingles, but it is much less likely. And in the fullness of time, no one will ever get shingles again, because we will get everybody vaccinated and people won't get chickenpox anymore. And we'll have better and better vaccines and better technologies. And we're going to keep doing better things by learning more about our world. And in the fullness of full time, there won't be people. So there will be no people left to get chicken pox. There will be no chickens left to remember. We'll definitely eradicate chicken fox.

It's just the big question is whether we eradicate humans first. John, did you know that there are more chickens on earth right now than there have ever been birds? What? If you don't count the chickens, there are fewer birds than there used to be. But if you do count the chickens, just the chickens is more birds than there are. have ever been. Oh, like 100 years ago. At any given time.

There weren't as many birds as there currently are chickens. There are more chickens right now on the earth than there were dinosaurs at any moment of the reign of the dinosaurs. So on one level, chickens are incredibly successful, but it depends on how you judge success. Yes, and a pure population-based assessment, yes. Wow. And it is because we capture a great. deal of energy very efficiently through agriculture and then put it into chickens.

Yeah. Did you know that of all the people who have ever been born, there's only about 16 for each of us who are alive? Wow. You know, there was that fact that went around that there are more people alive today than who have ever lived, and that was, of course, false. But the fact that there's one of us for every 16, that's pretty good. Yeah. I feel like we spend a lot of time talking about the one and not that much time talking about the 16. This is one of my long-standing problems with humans is that we're incredibly biased toward people who are living. Like, we almost exclusively listen to people who are living. Yeah, they're the ones who are currently suffering. Whereas we have lots of information about the dead. Like, we could be listening to Billy Holiday

records and reading Shakespeare, but instead we mostly listen to Taylor Swift and read John Green. And I just think that's a mistake. There's this idea that I have heard from certain circles. And I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on it, John, that because there are more people alive today, we are doing more, achieving, more, accomplishing more, discovering more. And that if our population shrinks in the future, that it will be a big problem because we will not be able to progress as fast, because we will do less, we will discover more, we will achieve more. I have thoughts on this. Well, so the idea then would be that the golden age of humanity is right now when we're at like max innovation,

artistic exploration. Yeah. Yeah, I don't buy that at all. I mean, there's a lot of evidence that that's not true. And like, I think you can see it in artistic. Yeah, I don't buy that at all. Yeah.

That turns human expression into merely a numbers game, which seems like something that AI people would love. And look, if they're worried about the number of thinking entities, I guess they're headed in the right direction where they're just going to create an infinite number. A data center full of

a country full of geniuses in a data center is the phrase that they use. Ha, yeah, but what I will say is it feels, I don't know, like Renaissance Florence had a population of

70,000 people. Yeah, but they killed it. And they killed it. So maybe it isn't just a numbers game. Maybe there's something more or two within that. Maybe we aren't allowing people to achieve their full potential. There you go. There's a reason Edmund Haley and Isaac Newton lived in approximately the same place at approximately the same time, and it wasn't something in the water.

No. Yeah, I feel like we should probably answer questions from our listeners, since that is ostensibly the point of this podcast, beginning with this one from Nancy, who writes Dear John and Hank, I had a total knee replacement. I now have questions that I'm a little embarrassed to ask the doctor, like, can I have an MRI? and will I set off alarms at the TSA? If I fall and break my leg, is it more likely to break right by the new joint? I'm 63 years old, so I know I'm a bit older than many of your listeners, but hopefully someone else will find this information interesting, not very fancy, Nancy. Nancy. Yeah. First of all, thank you for helping us understand that we are a top podcast for all age groups. All age groups, not just for teams. Second, don't, I'm going to answer these questions

for you. Yeah. But these are exactly the kinds of questions you should ask your doctor. Yeah, yeah, I agree. There's like really no reason to be at all embarrassed to say, hey, should I be able to get an MRI in the future? Yeah, I mean, this person's seen the inside of your knee joint, for God's sake. Like, there's nothing to be embarrassed about with them. Once they've been inside of your knee, the saying goes.

Yep. Be free. With your questions, you shall be free. free. So all of these questions are legitimate, good medical questions for a doctor, and I'm sorry that you feel nervous to ask them to your doctor and instead of returning to a top podcast for teens and the elderly. But I will answer them for you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not saying that Nancy is the elderly. is 63 years old. She is at least two years away from being elderly. In addition to teens and in addition to Nancy,

the elderly. Right. First of all, you can still get an MRI. Now, you can mention that the MRI tech, there may be some things that they will do because it might mess up the MRI. Yeah, there's some artifacts. They've used kind of metal in your knee that is not going to get sucked into the MRI. But do mention it.

And you might also feel it a little bit. So I felt it in my teeth, so the fillings can feel it a little bit. That sounds terrible, but was not. It was just a noticeable phenomenon. You might feel it a little bit. It might be a little warm even, which is very strange. Question number two, yes, you will need to let the TSA people know because you may set off the metal detector. And as far as broken bones in the future, really, this is a doctor question.

Yeah, I appreciate Hank bowing out on that one. Chat GPT would never. Chat GPT would barrel him confidently. Yeah. But Hank Green has the humility just, just, to say that's a question for your doctor. I have thoughts on it that I almost said. Now, Hank, we've got a history question from Addy who writes beer.

Oh, I'm so excited about this one. Brothers Green. Last night my partner did an overnight film shoot and decided to drink an energy drink, something they would not normally do. They are really not enjoying their post-energy drink experience as they, quote, feel as if someone is holding their eyes open and are just generally jittery and anxious. All this led me to make a joke about how an

energy drink would probably kill a medieval peasant. But the more we talk about it, the more we're wondering if it actually might, if an average healthy, average-sized medieval peasant, who I'm guessing would never have had any kind of caffeine before, chugged a hardcore energy drink, would they be okay? Caffeinated pumpkins and artificial penguins, Adi. So our lovely editorial assistant to Boki Trakervardi got on the phone with a medieval historian. Wow. To see what the situation would be. And indeed, if this was the medieval period in a number of different countries, people had caffeine.

So there's lots of places where caffeine was a thing. But in medieval Europe, during the medieval period, a peasant would have never had caffeine. No exposure to caffeine. They didn't get coffee, if I'm not mistaken, until like 1600. and they didn't get tea until even later than that. And so in this, before the Colombian exchange, before coffee made its way from Yemen to Europe, there was no caffeine.

There was no chocolate. There was no energy drinks. There was no caffeine in Europe. Yes. There were, like the royals were starting to get access to it, way before a peasant would also. So there were some teas, but it was all luxury goods. So this is not something a peasant would have had access to.

Now, our medieval historian emphasized that they would have had access to mind-altering substances, particularly alcohol, plenty in their life and likely would have been drunk a number of times. But I wouldn't say medieval ale is a stimulant, you know? No. Yeah, exact opposite. So they probably would have never had any kind of stimulant. like there's no tobacco at this point. Really, it would have been just an alcohol, an alcohol-based, and or, you know, sensory deprivation, not eating, spinning around self-flagellation kind of stuff, but also probably not for the medieval

peasants. That's the different kind of class of person. Sensory deprivation tanks, that sort of thing. But other than that, there was nothing. To feel something in medieval Europe, you had to spin around 12 times. And then try to run in a straight line. That was the only way to feel anything. I do like the idea that getting dizzy is kind of like drugs for little kids.

Yeah. And they love it. They're just like, I don't want to spin around. And also like drugs for medieval peasants. It's all they had other than alcohol. But this would not have been like a lethal event. It just would have been very emotionally significant. It would have been, it would be, it would be, it would be, it would be.

It would be psychologically shocking. It would definitely be the most interesting and surprising day of that medieval peasant's little life. Yeah. To just like chug a monster and then just like feel something for like 10 hours. Be like, wow. I like monster as an emotionally significant event. You know, you don't really think of it that way. But I think even upon the first taste, it would be emotionally significant.

You know, like having a Coca-Cola, even without the caffeine. Yeah, remember, they had very little sugar. And so the sweetness would be a shock. And then the effect, not only have you never had caffeine, none of your community members have ever had caffeine. And so in addition to having this incredibly strange, unprecedented experience, you couldn't explain it to anyone? Yeah.

Because no one else could ever have it. They'd be like he's been inhabited. Yeah, exactly. Also, I think that it would be very difficult to get a medieval peasant to drink more than the first sip of a monster. I think they would try it and they would be like, this is gross. They would be so overwhelmed by the sweetness. Again, there would be nothing in their lives that was sweeter than honey. Like a monster tastes very weird.

Like, I just feel like they'd be like this is like some kind of potion. It tastes bitter too. there's like a bitterness to a monster, obviously very sour and very sweet. I don't know. I've only had a couple. How many monster energy drinks have you had, John? I'm going to, I think the over-under would be said at one,

and I'm not sure who would win. I feel like every monster I've ever had is for a YouTube video. Sacrifices you're willing to make for that career, truly impress and horrify me. Yeah. So this medieval peasant would not die, but they would have unquestionably the weirdest day of their lives. If they got it in them, I think that they would be sweaty,

and I think that they would be uncomfortable, and I think they would be unhappy. Or maybe they would be like, man, I can get so much farming done now. Yeah, and also I've seen Jesus. This next question comes from Emily, who asks, Dear Hank and John, whenever myself or my peers go on there 10 or 15 at work, that's usually the designated doom scrolling time, like immediately phone and hand-face and screen.

What was the go-to mini-break activity before this? Was it smoking on a 30-minute 15, Emily? Emily, get back to work. No, sorry. Oh, wow. Yikes. Somebody just put himself on the wrong side of history. Do you remember what you did on your 15s, John?

Yeah, I smoked. I smoked. I quit smoking. Let's see. I quit smoking in 2003. and I quit working in 2005, so I mostly smoked. Do you want to know what I remember very specifically, and I don't know how we're all going to feel about this,

but I read books, but they were not my books. They were the books that I grabbed from the Walmart where I worked and took into the break room with me. Oh, yeah, you would borrow a book from Walmart. I would often borrow a book. Yeah, as long as you give it back. I would often borrow a book from Booklist, because I was surrounded by books, because I worked at a book review journal,

and I would read the acknowledgments. So I knew that I didn't have time to read a whole book on a 15-minute break, but I would read the acknowledgments of a book. And so over the years, I must have read the acknowledgments of 500 books. When it came time to write the acknowledgments for looking for Alaska, I was so prepared. Wow. And I still think, I mean, I'm not going to say they're the best part of looking for Alaska,

but I still think there's some good sentences in there. Hmm. Good for you. I do not put enough attention toward the acknowledgments. I'm sure. I don't think I'm going to do them this time. You acknowledge no one. I think you either have to acknowledge so many people or you acknowledge no one. Because the truth is, writing a book is such a wildly, massively collaborative process. There are so many hundreds of people who participate in it. There's no way to thank everyone properly. So I'm thinking of thanking no one. Well, I tell you what I got to, I'm going to have some acknowledgements. Oh, yeah, because you're writing a nonfiction book.

Those require acknowledgements. Yeah. I remember very specifically in the break room at Walmart reading the novelization of the Phantom Menace. Oh, yeah. And thinking, I could have done this. Come on now. Those novelizations are not easy work. There's some difficulty.

Maybe I wasn't seeing all the craft in there. I don't think you were seeing all the craft. Tell you what, they were really squeezing out the page number for that book to make it look book length. There was like a hundred words a page. I think Kurt Vonnegut said the best thing about his books was the White Space. And I kind of agree with that. White Space can go a long way in a book. I think White Space is a little underrated these days.

Man, I would love to start some kind of future career of writing really good, short books. there's so many good ones. Like 80 pagers? I don't know if maybe. Yeah. I'm part of a 100 page book club that only reads books that are fewer than 100 pages. Wow, that's cool. I love that.

Yeah. We have a great time. I want to write one of those. It's hard. Yeah. Every time I've ever tried, I'm like halfway through the introduction when I, when I hit, when I realize like, well, nope, this is going to be. be a big old boy. Yeah. I don't have the gift for writing very short books. Looking for Alaska is

fairly short, but only because I was so young that I didn't know how to make it any longer. Yeah. I was so young when I... That book is 21, Hank. It's old enough to drink. Oh, my God. I know. We're so old. My most recent novel is nine years old. I haven't written a novel in nine years. I'm going to tell you who I think I should read more of to get me in this direction. And then I want you to have your thoughts. But I think I should read like a bunch of Stephen J. Gould, which I've done. But I don't like done it like and I sort of dedicated like try and understand what he was really good at kind of way. Yeah.

I think you should read Mark Twain. Mark Twain had a great gift for 100 pages. Yeah, yeah. And he wrote a lot of good nonfiction too. He did. Famously very funny guy. He also wrote some bad nonfiction, but he was funny. He was always funny.

At the end of his life, Mark Twain was asked, why do you think all the other humorists kind of fell by the wayside, and you stayed relevant? And he said, I wasn't kidding, I was preaching. All right, let's move on to this question from Daniel. I think we answered that one. Dear John and Hank, throughout the last year or so of the pod,

I have felt that a key character has been missing from the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. And yes, there are folks who listen to the very end. Missing has been one omnipresent companion of AFC Wimbledon's rise to glory, Soggy pitch. Is soggy pitch still making its presence known among third-tier English football?

Or is John and John is just not talking about it when it happens? Or as the move from King's Meadow to Plow Lane come with improved drainage capacities, up the dons, Daniel, Daniel, great question. So I think it's more the move from the fourth tier of English football to the third tier of English football results in fewer soggy pitches.

There have been a couple of soggy pitches this year in the third tier, but none of them I don't think have affected AFC Wimbledon. There was one game I remember watching where the ball had to be hit very, very hard because it was so wet that the ball just sort of stopped instead of rolling. They do do that.

It would go as far because it could in the air and then just sort of land with a thud. Yep. But they still played that game. You've got to have a really properly sogged out pitch to get the game canceled. and that's mostly a fourth-tier English soccer problem. Gotcha.

So your pitch is too nice now. Our pitch is pretty nice, although you'll recall that last season it got flooded and turned into a golf course with a sand track. So that wasn't great. But, yeah, it can still flood. That's more than a soggy pitch. That was a proper problem.

Yeah, that was a proper issue. But we dealt with it. And I'll tell you what. If soggy pitch ever appears in the news from Mars, that'll be a win for everybody. That's great news. It's going to be a big news day. Incredible.

Not only have we terraformed Mars, it's raining. Yeah, we're playing soccer on it. This next question comes from Emily, who asks, Dear Hank of John, is there a place in Amsterdam that you recommend, like you recommend that hot dog place in Recovic? I'm taking my parents there in April, and I need the Icelandic hot dog of Amsterdam. This trip will mark my second night ever spent away from my 1.5-year-old,

excited to sleep past 6 a.m., Emily. Emily, I think the most important thing you can do is go to the Fault and our stars bench. Tivios bench! People say it's the great, it's like the Rikes Museum of Public Benches is what people say. It's the Van Gogh Museum of Canal-based benches. You know, some people might say, how do I know if I found the tiffios bench? You'll know. It's not how it's, it's not subtle.

No, it doesn't look like the other benches of Amsterdam because it's extensively graffered. Yeah, and it's got like locks locked to it for people's loves. And that's people's eternal love. I wonder how many of those eternal love locks actually work out. Some of them, you know? Some of them. That's all that matters.

Yeah. You know, do you think, how long do you think that the tiffios bench stays the tiffios bench? Do you think like a hundred years? No. not even close. That would be a massively good outcome. I think that there's a chance that the Tifios bench outlives Tifios.

Oh, that's interesting. That, like, it becomes just the bench where people go to write their little love messages to each other. It's a little love bench. And, like, that tradition has a kind of staying power that no media can. Yeah.

That's a lovely thought that, the last vestige of the fault in our stars would be that bench being a place where people express love for each other. That actually really makes me happy to imagine. So let's imagine it, but we won't be here to know. I think the

Tiffios bench will certainly outlasts John Green. He's only got a couple decades left, Max. Four? Four max. I mean, four would be an incredibly good outcome. Oh, if we're talking about Max, John, You got to allow for the possibility that the crazies are right.

Oh, yeah, and that we end up living for 500 years. I mean, you might end up living for 500 years. Ain't going to be me, buddy. God, no, I mean, which one of us is the sickly one, John? It's not you. I mean, you say that you're not the sickly one, but I am pretty sickly. It's just that you got cancer one time and shingles thrice. That's all.

Other than that, you're not that sickly. I'm so sickly. I know I'm not sick all the time, but when you're sick, it feels. like you're sick all the time. Yeah, it is. It's all encompassing. When you've been sick for like, for like 10 days, it's just like, I guess I, I guess I'm just like a terrible, useless downstairs bed man, as I'm sleeping in the downstairs bed. Yeah, which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by terrible, useless downstairs bed man. Terrible useless downstairs bed man. It doesn't get enough love. Why would you even let them in your house? This podcast is also brought to you by being afraid of

your doctor. Being afraid of your doctor, normal, but surmountable. And today's podcast is brought to you by that medieval peasant who just drank a monster. Dang, they're feeling good and bad at the same time. And also this podcast is brought to you by the novelization of Star Wars, the Phantom Menace, the novelization of the Star Wars Phantom Menace movie. Somebody did that, and then, Somebody took it to the Walmart break room with them. This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E-Quince. The wardrobe. It's important. And it comes down to, I think, two things.

Pieces that mix well, that play well with others, and also pieces that last. And that's where Quince shines, premium fabrics, considered design, and everyday essentials that are effortless to wear. You throw them on with each other and it just looks good. They're dependable, even as weather is doing whatever the heck. it wants to do. So this is especially useful right now, because I don't know if you've noticed, but nothing's making sense out there. Quince has the everyday essentials

I love with quality that lasts. They got lightweight cashmere, linen, Pima Cotton T's, European Jersey linen, the kind of pieces that layer easily, they don't feel precious, they hold up to regular wear, and they just look good. And you're getting that quality because Quince works

directly with top factories, cuts out the middlemen. So you're not paying for brand markups or fancy retail stores, just quality clothing. Right now you can go to quince.com slash dear hank for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to QINCE.com slash dear Hank for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash dear Hank. All right, let's answer this question from Ember who writes, Dear John and Hank, I'm an 18-year-old driver who recently received my first parking ticket.

my meter expired. It was totally my fault. And now I have to pay $107. Jesus. That's some meter. They should stop making the meters out of gold. Yeah, when I was a kid, if you got a parking ticket in Gambier, Ohio,

where I went to college, it was $5. And then parking itself was like a dollar. And so you could almost take the risk. But $107, you can't take the risk. Anyway, I've been dreading telling my parents as I know they'll be furious. Well, hopefully they won't be furious. Yeah.

I'm weighing whether I should bribe them with baked goods beforehand to soften the blow or just rip the band-aid off anyway. My question is, did either of you have to face similarly excruciating conversations as teens, and do you have any advice for facing my own pumpkins and parking violations, Ember? Oh, my gosh. Okay, I have two things I want to say first. Do you know how much a parking ticket is in Missoula, Montana? How much? $0 for your first one. Whoa.

How much do you think the second one is? $25. $5. $5. Wow. I mean, Ember, you got to move to Missoula. And it is. It's a dollar an hour.

Right. Which is like when I moved here, it was 25 cents an hour. Yeah. So crazy, crazy times. Second, I did something so much worse. And I will say as a dad, being, having my child bribe me with baked goods would be so delightful. Oh, it would go so far. It would go so far.

I would never have thought this as a child that this would matter. But as an adult, as a parent, I'm like, yeah, yeah, bring me my favorites. Yeah, and then you can like sit them down in front of banana bread or whatever and say, I know you've been wondering why this banana bread is here. It's because I got a $107 parking ticket. I'm really sorry. And it's going to be so much less scary than what it might otherwise have been. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. I definitely did stuff like this as a kid. I mean, first off, my parents would have been thrilled if the worst thing I did when I was 18 was get a parking ticket. They would have been thrilled. I sped through a school zone. I got pulled over. You sped in a school zone? Got pulled over.

It's a double ticket. So in the school zone, you get times two in Orlando back then. It was $637. Oh, my God. the 90s. Yeah. It was that, it was, it was, it was more money than I had ever had in my bank account at that time. It was like, what, what a Nintendo cost.

Yeah, and all way more with several games. Wow. And, uh, and I had to have that conversation with mom and dad. And I was in a lot of trouble. Yeah. And I was so scared the whole time, like from the moment of the light, went on behind the car to like days later. Yeah.

Yeah. It was so much money. That's a tough conversation to have. But the thing is, your parents will hopefully be supportive. Mom was much more angry when me and a girl ran out of gas and I had to call her at like at like 11 o'clock at night to come rescue us and I was wearing makeup. She still tells us that story. I don't think the issue was the wearing of the makeup. I think it was that it was 11.

It could help? Probably didn't help, but it was 11 o'clock at night on like a Friday. You run out of gas, which is an amateur move unless you are truly broke. Oh, man, it is the kind of amateur move. I was making a lot. I was a really a $5 a time kind of gas guy. Yeah, but maybe that's fine if it's because you're broke. It's not if fine if you're like, oh, I'd like to save time and I'm getting bored pumping gas, so I'm going to stop at $5. It was in my head about saving, about like not wanting to have a lower amount of money in the account. But I don't know, I am. I don't know.

At any rate, you're going to be okay, Amber, but do bribe them with baked goods. That feels like a bad idea, but it's actually a good idea. Yes, you can do this. You've made one small mistake. And everybody forgets to pay for parking sometimes. All right, Hank, I have a question for you from Nevada who writes, Dear John and Hank, how are there fish and other creatures that can survive in the deepest parts of the ocean. Like, how are they moving around with all that pressure? If humans can't even

travel down there with all the technology we have without being crushed to death by the pressure, how are their fish literally swimming around? Are they made of jello? And they're jiggling so freely eight kilometers down in the water. What's happening? Shrimply confused Nevada. John, yeah. This is one of my favorite facts. And I'm so glad that it came up organically. I know. I highlighted this question because I knew it would give you a chance to tell me your favorite fact that you've told me a million times before, but tell it to me again. The ocean is too deep for fish. It's too deep for fish.

The fish cannot go all the way down. The fish cannot even go most of the way down in some places. The fish can go most of the way down. Oh, how far down can they go? So the deepest of fish can go, I think, let me make sure with my numbers here, 8,000 meters. And I think that the deepest spot in the ocean is 11,000 meters. Now I have to check that number. Yes, I was right.

So there's 3,000 meters of ocean, like the Mariana's Trench or whatever. Yeah. That cannot be inhabited by fish because of water pressure? Because of water pressure. Yeah. Wow. But not in the way that you would think. So the reason that they can go down to 8,000 feet is because they don't, they just have water in them and water outside of them.

And so the water pressure on the inside is very high. The water pressure on the outside is very high to a fish. That's the same. Now for us, that's not the case because we have a bunch of air inside of us. It's got air in our heads, got sinuses, we've got air in our lungs. Obviously, this creates a lot of problems at depth where that air is used to having air pushing on it a certain amount. And if you're pushing more on it, then it's squeezing that and it's very compressible. Water is not very compressible.

In fact, you might think that it's not compressible at all, which is a thing that we say. Yeah. That water is not compressible because it mostly isn't. But eventually it becomes kind of compressible. And water, like the water changes shape? No. Yeah. And this is when it becomes a problem for fish.

So proteins expect water to act a certain way. But at increasingly high pressures, the water starts to behave differently. And thus the proteins do not behave correctly. They like fold incorrectly. And this is why, like, it isn't just a fish. problem. It's, it's, you know, fish are, uh, sort of tap out earlier than, than some more complicated animals, but like, there's no complicated animals low down because like the protein chemistry just doesn't work correctly. And you kind of can't have as far as we can tell. Like nobody, no, they had a lot

of time to try and evolve to live down there. Yeah. And complex life has not, like big multicellular life has not figured out how to live at the full depth of the ocean, which is crazy. Yeah. So it's less really, from what I understand, it's less about the actual pressure, and it is more that the pressure causes water to behave differently, so proteins kind of can't do their job right. All right, Hank, before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, I need to read this response from Pablo, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I hate to be that guy, but even

though the overall explanation given by Hank of the water cycle was correct, I would be remiss, and frankly, I'm surprised this did not come up if I did not mention that since Jesus's birth and the current day, there is not the exact same amount of water because somewhere around 100 to 150 gallons of water are missing because they were turned into wine. I understand why Hank missed this. But John? Anyway, I enjoyed it. your top podcast for guys roughly about your age and encourage you to keep up the good work, not Picasso, Neruto, or Escobar, Pablo.

Pablo, this is such a good point, and I can't believe that I failed to note it. Hank was about to jump in with a scientific explanation, but there is no scientific explanation for that plain, unambiguous miracle. What do you think wine is? I think wine is mostly water, but not entirely. That's right.

So it's not that many gallons. It's true. It's not 150 gallons. It's a fraction of the 150 gallons was turned into tannins and alcohols and esters and all the stuff that wine is. Yeah. Yeah. But some water was turned into some stuff that isn't water. And that changed the amount of water in the atmosphere.

You know, I think that... And we missed it. I think that stuff, honestly, if I'm understanding the chemistry of Jesus' miracles correctly, I bet that stuff didn't come from the water. It probably came from the container or the air or something like that. Well, Hank, the Bible's pretty specific that he turned water into wine, not the container of water into wine. Now, here's a question. If I put Gatorade powder into water, did I turn water into Gatorade?

Yes. I guess you did. I guess you did. All right. Well, AFC Wimbledon lost. So not only am I comparing myself to Mark Twain. You're now comparing yourself to Jesus. Because I can make Gatorade.

Oh, AFC Wimbledon lost, Hank. We lost 4-2, but there were two goals from 18-year-old Starboy Jr. in Kang who looks to be... Say those words again? Starboy Jr. and Kang? Starboy Jr. and Kang. His name is not Starboy. That would be amazing. His name is Junior and Kang.

He's a star boy? Oh, he is a star. He is an absolute star. Every time he's on the ball, I hold my breath because his dribbling ability, his ability to find space. It's just amazing. And he's only 18. And I just hope we have him on a long-term contract.

Why the word boy? Is that a thing that people say in soccer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say that like really promising young players are star boys. Starboys. Star boys. Now that you say it sounds weird. I want to read that manga.

Well, yeah, now that you say it, it sounds weird, but when I say it, it sounds fine. I like the idea that he just had a lot of names in the first one was Starboy. Yeah, Starboy Jr. and Kang. It implies that his dad is also named Starboy, and he's Starboy Jr. Starboy Senior and Kang, yeah. I mean, he is incredible, though, and we lost 4 to, we defended terribly. I mean, in general, we played not a very good game, but Junior and Kang looked so good, and that gives me hope.

We have 49 points. We need probably, I mean, that's probably enough. But to guarantee survival, we need one more win, and we have 12 games in which to get it. I feel good about that. That should be doable. Are you playing any of the bad teams? We're playing a few of the bad teams. That sounds great.

We've still got to play the worst team at home. And so surely we can beat them. And then we'll be good. Yeah, you should go to that game. Now, the question is, is there any way we can still make the playoffs and become a second-tier English soccer team? And the answer is yes, but only if we win all of our remaining games, which is a stretch. But you never, a kid can dream. And he will.

And he will. What's the news from Mars? This, not a lot. Oh, not much going on. We're starting to suffer from the everything is not going the same speed as at one. was because we've scaled back on some things as a country. On some investments. Yeah.

So I guess Artemis Update, we're on track for an April 1st launch. Now, should we be doing that? Should we schedule launches for the Fool's Day? I don't know. That seems a little bit asking for it. But we're going to the moon on April 1st or going around the moon. We're going to start our journey to the moon. on April 1st, theoretically.

And these poor astronauts, hopefully we'll get to stop waiting and launch and do the thing. I would find that so stressful. I would also, I would be pooping the whole time. I would find it so stressful when they're like, hey, there's a little problem with the rocket fuel, so you're not going to get in this ship today,

but you're going to get the ship in six weeks. That's the kind of uncertainty that this brain doesn't love. Yeah, yeah. It's like emceeing an event on steroids. You know, you're like always ready to go on. He's like, the part that I like the least is being always ready. Yep, yep. It's like you're backstage the entire time. But I've met astronauts and they're not like us. No, no, indeed.

I had an astronaut tell me a story pretty calmly of the time that she basically had to, like, go through the emergency. protocols. And I was like, how do you handle that? And she was like, oh, you just go through it. And I'm like, yeah, but there's the, there's the feeling of dread and the surge of adrenaline. And she was like, well, you just, you don't let that control you. And I'm like, maybe you don't. I mean, there is really something to be said. And I say this to all people who have been through true terrors of uncertainty for following a procedure. If someone can give me a procedure, it is very helpful. And And just sort of like tell me what the path is and I'll stay on the path. And like, and also tell me that the parts where I'm doing nothing is part of the path.

Because like, oh, I'm doing the thing I'm supposed to be doing, which is nothing. I'm just waiting. This is the waiting part where we wait. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a big believer in checklists. Like I think that there's a reason why checklists are so effective. Yeah, NASA is a big believer in them.

Commercial aviation is a big believer in them. Oh, yeah. And I'm a big fan of those industries because they do a good job of quality control because the stakes are high. So, yeah, I'm a big believer in checklist, big believer in getting an itinerary. And sometimes you're right. Sometimes it's just waiting. That's part of it. It's part of it.

All right. Well, Hank, thank you for potting with me. Thanks to everybody for listening. We appreciate your questions so much. You can email us at Hank and John at gmail.com. Hangon. Oh, that was good. It's like a...

Hanganjohn at gmail.com. I think I can do it too. Thank you, dog, Jacobob. So that time. You'll hear it. Hangan atjohn at gmail.com. See? It's just like that.

People listening to us on 2xb just had a hell of an experience. Who would do that? Who would speed up this magnificent old? Oral experience. Well, you're not trying to, like, get the information. It's not like a nonfiction audio book. Hopefully you're just having a nice little time. Yeah.

Yeah. Top podcasts for people who want to just have a nice little time. This podcast is edited by Bridget Kenneson. It's mixed by Joseph Tunamettish. Our marketing specialist is Brooke Shotwell. It's produced by Rosiana Hals Rojas and Hannah West. Our executive producer is Seth Radley. Our editorial assistant is Deboki Chakarvardi.

The music you're hearing now, and at the beginning of the podcast, is by that great Gunnarola. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. Hey, everyone. This is Natalie. And this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really, really good.

It's really, really very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at YouTube.com slash exploration live podcast. That means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component. Exactly. Where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing. You know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video.

Body language experts to the front. Exactly. So come check out, Experson Live, either audio or video.