Dear Hank & John - 469: An Invitation for Chaos and Mayhem (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

How should I display my signed prints? When did television start broadcasting throughout the entire night? What will you do on your book tour? Can you write about love in a way that makes you feel it? How do I host a potluck supper club for my Hinge dates? How should I prepare for the Hollywood, Ending book event? Why do we need to ask to go to the bathroom if we have human rights? How should I prepare for a football match? …John and Sarah Urist Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohnProduced for Hank and John Green by ComplexlySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening to a Complexly podcast. Hello and welcome to Dear John and Hank. Or as I like to call it, Dear John and Sarah. It's a podcast where two spouses give you dubious advice, answer your questions, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. I am joined this week by my lovely spouse, Sarah Eurisd Green. It's nice to see you. It's nice to see you, too.

We've seen each other at many moments leading up to now, but it's nice to see you anew. current me is on the road for the Hollywood ending tour, but past me is recording this right before leaving for the Hollywood ending tour. So if you hear a little bit of anxiety in my voice, that's because my book comes out in three days. Did you like it? I hope so. Did you like it? Of course I did. I'm just kidding. No, I really did. I'm constantly looking for outside. No, no, I really did. I know you did, but I'm constantly looking for outside affirmation. Sarah was the first person to read. This is a sensitive time for you. It's a sensitive time. It's a

time for me. My books are sort of ruined for Sarah in the sense that she has to read them all as first drafts. It's very difficult for me to like have a complete understanding of one of your books because I read early drafts. Right. I read different versions like where part, half of it is a different story. Yeah. And then I have to hold it all in my head and remember what the finished book is like. And then I read the finished book and I really like it and I've got it in my brain for like 10 days. Yeah, I'm the same way. I mean, people will ask me questions and I'll be like, is that still in the book? I thought I cut that.

Right, right. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Hollywood ending. We're happy to be here with you. We're going to answer some of your questions beginning with this one from Madeline who writes, Dear John and Sarah, I recently had the honor of meeting a few actors at a convention. I feel really lucky to have my signed prints, but I'm not sure how to display them. They are all a size, not conducive to being framed together. but I'm not sure if it's smart to frame them all separately,

or is it any advice as welcome best wishes, Madeline? Sarah, you... This is made for me. You are a professional framer. Well, I'm not a professional framer. Oh, sorry, sorry. But, I mean, I can frame. So, Madeline, you haven't told us what size.

I'm wondering if they're headshots. I think they have to be, right? Head shots. Yeah. Okay, well, you got to think about like an old-fashioned steakhouse restaurant that's got all their like celebrity signed headshots on the wall. I definitely think you should frame them separately and display them in some sort of a grid or row or arrangement. You could, if you wanted, if you wanted to be really fun and fancy, but not expensive, go to a resale shop or a vintage shop

and get some old frames and do like a variety. It should be a pretty standard. size, measure them first, or just get a matching set you can find really inexpensive ones. But the most important thing you'll do is measure very carefully and make sure that they are hung in a straight, precise order. Equidistant from each other. Yes. That is very important. So we have a wall.

We don't have a celebrity actor wall. I guess we do a little bit. We have that picture of Cara DeLevin and I in Paris. Well, I put that up. Yeah. I find it very embarrassing. But we have that picture along with our family pictures. That's what I think is so embarrassing is it's like, here's a picture of our best friends and their kids, and here's a picture of my parents, and here's a picture of your uncle, and here's a picture of Cara DeLevin with my husband. It's great. It makes me laugh. It makes me laugh. It's very hilarious. I am a fan. Nobody asked me, but why don't I share since I'm here? When you do a gallery wall, like a big wall of varying items at varying sizes, I like to mix in things that are not like

the other. Like, I like to mix in an artwork. A certificate, some photos, some old photos, some new photos. I like things from different eras. You know what's framed on that gallery. wall that I love. And I think that that that gallery wall in our house, it's like a mix of art. It's in a stairwell. It's in a stairwell. It's a mix of art works and family photos and stuff and me and Cara de Levine. I think that what makes it so magical is the way, is precisely that, the way you've included different stuff from different parts of our lives. So like it has the, it has the picture of me when I won the Prince Award. It also has the letter that Bill Ott wrote me at book list saying now more than ever watch Harvey.

Yeah. And it has like a birthday card I made for you. Yeah. The first year we were together. Like, I used to get great birthday cards from Sarah. That has passed. We went on a bike ride this year. Yeah, we went on a bike ride for my birthday.

It was lovely. It was lovely. I don't need a card every year. You spend so much time on those cards. All right. We got another question from Nick who writes, Dear Sarah and John, I'm lying in bed. struggling to fall asleep. I've been there, Nick. And I'm wondering, remember when TV used to end for the

night? Oh, yeah. Like they'd play the national anthem and then it'd be nothing for hours until morning. Why and when did that begin and why and when did it end? Do other countries do that too or just the US sleepless in the southeast, Nick? Do you remember that? You know, I feel like we just, I do have a dim memory of that, but I mostly remember my best friend growing up would always play Nick at night. and that would go all night. Oh, okay. And like play old shows, you know. No, this was in the era before we anyway had cable.

Right. So like there would be, there were like five channels, one of which signed off for the night after showing like a monster movie, like a B movie from the 60s. And would it just be static? I can't remember. It would be like. Just like nothing. It would be either music.

playing over a blank screen or like the national anthem and then just I can't remember what it was. But at any rate, I do also dimly remember it. And what it made me think of, Sarah, is when the internet used to end. Like in like 1994, 1995, I would go on the very early versions of the World Wide Web. And then you'd get to the end of the web. Yeah. Like you'd get to the end of whatever you were looking at. Right. I'm going to, oh God, Sarah, something terrible is about that. Okay. I'll do it. You're going to sneeze. Watch out. Oh, no.

You know what that is? Not normal. Very normal. Nope. It's not normal. Well, I know this is a thing in your world, but I sneeze regularly. And I think it's very helpful for expelling undesirables from your nose. No, I was told by a doctor that it is not normal to sneeze.

Okay. All right. So I love the idea of things ending. It's like when I get my alert on my phone. phone that's like you have reached your limit that you've set for Instagram today. And then it's over. And then it's over. And I like that.

I think what we're missing in this world is ending. Is endings. Like not constant stream. And when someone stops streaming, another one picks up. Maybe, Nick, you need it to end to go to sleep. Maybe. I remember the thousand, I remember it like in like 2008, we had an early meeting with YouTube and they said there's a thousand minutes of content uploaded every minute. Yeah.

And I realized that it was impossible to catch up with the internet. And now there's like, you know, millions of minutes of content uploaded every minute. Well, next question is a historical question. And we are not truly answering it. Well, I don't know the answer. I don't know the answer offhand. we could have done some research, but we didn't. Nick, I encourage you to do this research and to report back.

Get back to us. Yeah. Can you figure this out? Yeah. And John and Hank will share it. We're delegating. We want to know and how it happened in other countries. I want to know, too.

I'll read the next question. You read the next question. Okay. Dear Sarah and John, what will you do on your book tour if you don't like press tours and don't want to give away book spoilers? I am writing my own book, and I'm afraid when I finally finish it, I won't have anything to say about it, even if I'm privileged enough for people to be asking me about it. Thanks, April. So, April, it is true that I don't love press tours, but I do do them. And I'm grateful to be able to do them because I remember vividly, as you do, Sarah, when no one wanted to talk to me about my book. Like a book would come out and that would be a regular Tuesday. Yeah. And I would not have anything to do. I wouldn't go on the road. I wouldn't like the first couple books. I mean, you went with me to my first signing. Yes. In the suburbs of Chicago. It was it was uncomfortable to put it lightly. I remember we got back to. We went to noodles and company afterward. And I remember feeling like, oh, I'm still trying to shake off this awful feeling of having attended a book event where very few people attended.

Only two. One of whom was my boss but pretended to be a stranger. And I think that it's helpful to remember that because, I mean, look, Hollywood ending is in many ways of book about how uncomfortable the whole transaction is where you commodify art and you turn, and especially where you commodify your private experiences and turn them into movie tickets or book sales or Netflix subscriptions or whatever you're trying to turn them into. That's not just a problem for authors. by the way. I think most of us now participate in that economy one way or another through Instagram or TikTok or whatever. But I do talk about the book. I try to talk about it without spoilers, which for me means not talking about anything that happens after like page 20. Right. I have some practical advice when you're done. Yeah, give it to me. Okay. There's a tradition in book events and book promotion. You read a bit from the beginning. Usually the beginning. It doesn't have have to be the first chapter, but it often is. Often is. And then have someone else join you. Yeah. If you're doing an event or some or like a, if you're streaming or doing, you know,

creating a video online, like share your content and then you have conversation partners on tour. And that's a great way to mix it up. And, you know, often authors write because they don't necessarily want to get up in front of a crowd and blasts. their ideas. So I think if you involve other people, other authors who are doing similar things, a musician, a poet, to share the stage, to share the promotional opportunity and have a conversation with each other, have questions for them, they have questions for you. Right. And then you can talk about like the creative process as well as talking about the content of the book itself. And I do think there are ways to talk about theme without spoiling a book. Like, I think, I think you can talk about the fact that we're all

now participating in this weird attention economy where we're competing for each other's eyeballs on platforms that are owned by five billionaires. Like, I think you can talk about that. And that's about Hollywood ending, but it's also, like, doesn't spoil the story at all. Right. I think it's very hard to do, but I think the idea is to have empathy for your audience and to try to create a good experience for them. Yeah, I hope I don't screw that up, man. Because so many people, like, they come from far away. That's what I think about every time is like people are driving, you know, an hour or two hours to get to the venue. But you do put on a show. I mean, I've looked at your run of show. There's like, there's activities. There's bits. There's bits. And I think, you know, obviously you're trying to share your work and

sell some books, but like there's also, I think you do a good job of understanding that people are there to be together, to be in community, and to learn things. And, you know, I think you just, I think you have to understand that it doesn't have to be entirely about you in your book. No, in fact, the most interesting stuff that happens isn't about you as, as the person on stage. Like, I think about that a lot with like Taylor Swift's fan community or Phoebe Bridgers tour. that you just went to, right? That most of what's interesting is in the interaction between or among the audience, right?

Not the, not what's happening on stage. Like, what's your exchangeable bracelet moment? Yeah, a lot of people are bringing exchangeable bracelets, actually. Right. Well, and what is the activity? Like, here, leave a note card on the seat and have somebody, you know, and a pen and have them write a particular thing that relates to something in the book and exchange it with somebody in the audience, you know?

That would have been nice. Why didn't you mention that to me before the tour? That's a good idea. Nobody asked me. I did. I did, to be fair. All right, this next question comes from Stella, who writes, Dear John and Sarah. I was talking with a friend, and she says that she believes you can't write about love within

an intensity and strength that makes the reader feel and appreciated. This is a great question. I disagree and said I have read books myself where I was overcome with the emotion of love like I was experiencing it. Do you think you can write about love with equal strength that you feel it? Can you name another author who can? Not a love letter, but a letter about love, Stella. The person who comes to mind immediately for me is Lily King.

Yes, me too. While we've both been reading her work recently, Lily King's new, newish novel, Heart the Lover, is amazing. It's amazing. And it makes you feel it. I mean, of course it's different when you're, when someone else, when you're witnessing someone else experience it. Yeah.

But it's still so good. And it may not be precisely the same, but I also don't think like the experience of love is the same person to person. Right. I think that both of you are right, not to try to split the baby here, but like I think that Stella's friend is right, that you don't feel, when you're reading a book, it's not quite like falling in love.

but you do feel an echo of that. You feel like my friend Daniel Alarcon once said that writing a novel is like taking a fireworks show that happens in your mind and trying to replicate it in language. And of course, like something gets lost in that translation from raw experience to language. Something, you know, something is impoverished. But I think something is also enriched. So like it's not the exact same feeling, but it is a really intense feeling. And for me, it's very similar. Like, when I was reading Heart the Lover, like, it reminded me of the feeling I had in my stomach

was not unlike the feeling I have in my stomach when I'm falling in love. Precisely. And it's that, it's the kind of book where you finish and you're like, oh, damn. Like, I don't want it to be over. I know. And I just recommended it to my friend Mari. And she texted me yesterday and was like, I'm so sad it's over. Yeah.

It's a great book. Yeah. Yes, you're both right. Sorry. You're both right. But I do think that it'll be interesting to see if people respond to Hollywood ending that way. Yeah. I hope they do because I wanted to write about young love, like the love we experience as adolescence or in high school, is different from love in your early 20s when you're really looking for those sustaining relationships that are going to help you survive everything you have to survive.

Right. Because there's sort of the, I don't know, when you said that about. younger love, like, I thought about the aspect of love that's like, someone likes me. Right. You know, like, I am worthy of love. Yes, yes. You know, that like being chosen and being accepted. And there's, I don't know, it just, it changes as you grow up, I think.

Yeah, I definitely think that it's different. It's not any less real or more real. It's just different. And so I wanted to write about that kind of love. The kind of love that I was thinking a lot about when we fell in love, which did feel different from like the first time I fell in love. Or the second or the third. John used to love to fall in love.

Oh, I did. And now I love to fall in love just with the same person over and over again. That's right. But I definitely felt like our, love, and we met when, you know, I was 24, 25. So similar age to the characters in Hollywood ending. And I felt like our love was a little more sustainable, if that makes sense. A little less burning the candle at both ends. Yeah. A little more like, oh, this is, this is a little more grown-up. Yeah. A little more mature. And that's what I was looking for. We weren't mature, but we-

We thought we were. This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Factor. He knows something crazy about Factor is sometimes I need a Factor meal, and sometimes my child needs a Factor meal. This isn't in the marketing copy that they sent me, but I do feel like fine about giving my child some factor sometimes when it's like, I don't have time and I'd like him to have a good meal. And also I can have one too and then problem solved. Factor makes chef crafted, dietitian designed, ready to eat meals so you don't have to choose between real food and convenience when you're feeding yourself or someone else. Factor meals are ready in two minutes and require no prep and no cleanup. So even on the days when your schedule is completely out of

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options. Let's eat real. Head to FactorMeals.com.com. 0 off and use the code Dear Hank 50 off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year, while supplies last until October 31st, 2026. That's code Dear Hank 50 off at factor meals.com. See the website for more details. Okay. This next question comes from Danielle. Dear Sarah and John, I want to host a potluck supper club for all my hinge dates. It would be for platonic purposes. A lot of people I've met seem like interesting people to befriend rather than date. I'm nervous, though. How does one host a potluck supper club? What are the do's and don'ts?

How do I help everyone feel comfortable when their only thing in common is going on dates with me? What if I'm not charismatic and fun enough to be the social hub? Unhinged Danielle. This is truly an unhinged idea, Danielle. Like, this is truly epically unhinged. I like it. I love it. an invitation for chaos and mayhem and complications.

But you know what? I think sometimes we need that in life. Especially if you date people of all genders and they date people of all genders. You could be in a situation where you're setting people up for love, even if you're not experiencing it yourself. Right. You could be finding lifelong friends because what do you have in common? Will you both like Danielle, at least briefly? I have an idea.

Okay. I love it if you did host it yourself. But was there one particular hinge date with someone who you could imagine being friends, like you would like as a friend? And you ask if they want to co-host it. Okay. But it's at your place. It's at your place. But like you kind of. Well, what if, I mean, if it's a pot look, don't you say to all your former hinge dates like, hey, bring some green bean casserole? Well, yes, but this is the structure. We don't want a table full of green bean. casserole. So I think you do have to, here's what you do. You create a sign up list. Oh my God. Sarah's really making this complicated. No, it's not. It's easy. There's free sources. People use it all the time. Okay. And you create, you know, you sign up for, it's like signup.com or whatever. You know, there's a lot of ways to do it. You can do a Google form. But just have the courses. If it's a brunch, you pick like brunch things or you do appetizer, two appetizers, a salad. You know, maybe you make the main.

You do a lasagna. You do a gluten-free vegan lasagna and a meat lasagna. And you do all of that. And then everybody else can sign up for the rest. And I think you have a sense of humor about it. Obviously. You've got a sense of humor about it. Oh, I have a very important. Note. Note. Okay. An end time. Oh, that's such a good.

So once Sarah and I went to the White House. Oh, God. Yeah. This is an okay story to tell. Yeah, not during this administration. No. We would not be invited. Yeah, no joke.

We were once invited to the White House and we went. And it was for a Christmas party of some kind. And we walked around the White House and we ate really good food. And we had a ball. I had a ball, having a glass of wine. And then a Marine came up to me and said, Mr. Green, I'm such a huge fan of Crash Course. And I said, thank you so much, man. That's amazing.

He was like, it really helped me when I was in high school and really meant a lot to me. And I said, thank you so much. And then he said, the event has ended. Can I show you to the coats? And it was quite, if I might add, like a dashing man. Oh, yeah. He was a good looking fellow. And I was so glad, first, to be told it's time to go.

Totally. And then to be shown the door and to be let out onto a lovely crisp evening. Yeah. I was like, this is how all parties should end. There should be like a gong. Yeah. And then a handsome Marine comes out and says the event has ended. And actually ushers you out.

Yeah, like literally is like, and you will not be going back to the White House. Yeah. So like, I don't know if you need a gong or you hire someone or, but you. You know, I think just for safety reasons. That's a critical note that, like, the party ends at eight. And when I say the party ends at eight, I mean, we all leave together. Oh, right. Like, maybe you plan to go for a late night movie?

I've got to see Spider-Man. Yeah. This may be an old thing, an old person thing. No. No. No, no. I think that young people also. Remember when we were young and we had that party at our apartment in New York and that

couple stayed until like three o'clock in the morning? You need to have a plan. We didn't have a plan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right, we got another question from Keene who writes, Dear Sarah and John, I've never been to an author event before because I live in a remote corner of Maine. But imagine my delight when I learned that the Hollywood ending tour was coming to Maine.

Only five hours away from me. This is what I mean about, like, people drive a long way. Yeah. You got to give them a show. But Keene doesn't go to book events often. Yeah, I know. But Keene is showing this amount of faith in me. That's true.

It's scary. I've never been to one of these. Is it like a book club where I need to read it ahead of time? That probably doesn't make sense since we're getting the book at the event, right? What are you guys going to talk about? Should I read Heart the Lover of Head of Time? Yes. Yes. You should read Heart the Lover.

Ahead of time. And writers and lovers ahead of time. Yes. That's my advice. But, no, you do not have to read Hollywood ending before. No, in fact, you should. You probably shouldn't because you should wait until you get your free copy at the show. Right.

And then the book event is to get you ready and excited to read it. The book event, in truth, is mostly to connect readers to each other and to have a kind of communal experience. I mean, one thing I think about before I go on stage every time is that this is the only time in history when this group of people will exist. And we should try to have a nice, meaningful time with this once in a lifetime group of people. And I think that kind of experience is all the more important now that so many people live so much of their lives online. Totally. So that's why you leave the house is to be with other people, not to watch another show. Yeah.

No offense. No, no, no. I completely agree with you. Like, it almost takes the pressure off me because it's really not about me. It's about like whatever we do to, you know, build a sense of togetherness in that room, which is partly reliant on me, but partly reliant on Keene and everyone else who's going to be there. So don't read the book in advance or don't feel like you have to. I mean, feel free to. And thank you for in advance for coming. Yeah. Thank you for driving five hours. And I hope that you stay the night in Portland and

don't try to drive back that evening. Yeah. There's a lot of good restaurants there. Now, Portland's a great town. Yeah. All right, Sarah, let's do one more question before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Okay. It's from Graham and Lila. Do you want to ask it? Sure. Dear John and Sarah, why do we ask to go to the bathroom if we have a of human rights. Thanks, Graham and Lila, age 11.

This is a great question. It's deep. It's deep. And when do human rights begin? Not in middle school, that's for sure. Well, Graham and Lila, you are at the peak of school rules. Yes. So we are experiencing this with our daughter, who is in seventh grade.

Yeah. And, you know, of course there's a lot of rules when you're in elementary school, but then as you approach tween and teen years, like they try harder and harder to control you until high school, when there are still controls, but they start to loosen up a little bit. And then it's a gradual loosening. Yeah, and by high school, you will have some human rights. Now, you probably won't have the right. I remember even in college sort of raising my, my hand and being like, can I go to the bathroom? And my professor's being like, yeah, yeah, you can. You don't have to ask. Just go. Well, here's the thing. You have to ask to go to the bathroom because other young people do bad things. They abused the privilege. They abused the privilege. Of going to the bathroom. Absolutely. So if everyone actually was just going to the bathroom and coming back immediately and not engaging in all sorts of dubious behaviors, then it's your peers. It's your peers.

They're the problem. They're the problem. And you suffer. I will say Graham and Lila, that you've also raised an interesting question about human rights. Yes. Which is that human rights are a made up idea, right? Like human rights did not do not like naturally exist. They don't exist in every social order. They don't exist at every moment of history, but it's a really useful made-up idea. And it becomes real by virtue of us believing in it. And by virtue of us having a shared commitment to it. And when we lose that shared commitment, which we do often in many conflicts and many other parts of life, we lose human rights. And so we have to hold on to these ideas, even though they're made-up ideas very, very strongly. And I almost think that you should make that point to your teacher,

that you should make that point to your teacher that like, these are my fundamental human rights as a person in this world. And I'm going to go to the bathroom when I want to go to the bathroom. We'll see how that goes over. I don't recommend that, Graham and Lila. I do. I think it's an important, I don't know. I feel like there could be a discussion at student government about alternate, about alternate ways. Use the levers of government, absolutely. Yes, to signal that you need to go to the bathroom.

Like maybe you put a particular card on your desk. Maybe you just kind of salute the teacher when you're going to the bathroom. And they tug their ear if it's okay. And then they like. But it has to be okay. What is the teacher going to say? Like no pee your pants? Well, but again,

It's about those kids, like Alice has someone in her class who asks to go to the bathroom in the same class every day. Because they just don't like French? Well, I'm not going to name names or identify classes, but the teacher is like, you should go before class. You cannot go every day. Right, right. So there has to be, or maybe you're presenting certain material and you're about to finish up

and work on something and that would be a better time to go. Okay. I don't know. I just, I think you have to have a conversation with the, with the, with the, with the, with the levers of power. You have to use the levers of power to discuss things with those who control the system. I guess I don't even remember what it was like to be 11. These days, like, when I got to go, I got to go.

I mean, I do think that a teacher knows it can see it in your eyes. If it's a true emergency. see if you're like picking at your nails and staring at the ceiling and then all of a sudden like raise your hand and like sort of looking off off to the distance can you go to the bathroom versus like holy god i might i something bad is going to happen if i don't leave right now this is a crisis yeah yeah yeah and i guess the other thing is that i mean on a serious note if you feel like you're at risk of an accident or something, then you just have to talk to your teacher and say, like, this is a real issue for me. I have a different body than you have, and I need to go when I need

to go. Right. All right. I think we covered that one in detail. Graham and Lila, you're welcome. Yeah, I do think it's an interesting discussion about human rights, though, that we could plumb for an entire episode if we wanted. Yeah. I do want to incorporate this into the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, from Davis. But I don't have any news from Mars. Oh, we just make it up. Oh, okay. You think Hank actually knows all that stuff? Yes. No. I do. You think that like Mars is actually seismically active? Hank just makes stuff up every week. Okay, okay. I'll just do the news from AFC Wimbledon and people will frankly be delighted to miss the news from Mars. I'll think of some news. Okay. Think of news from the Mars Corporation that makes Mars candy bars. Davis writes,

Brothers Green and Sarah. My fiancé and I, both longtime nerd fighters, are set to get married this week, and we've planned a honeymoon trip to London, where we are hoping to watch America and more importantly, Canada's favorite third-tier English football team take on Blackpool on November 14th. Neither of us have ever visited London before, let alone attended a football match, so we're looking for tips and tricks to help us get ready. What do we wear? Are there any songs we need to learn beforehand? How can we get the most out of the experience? We'll also definitely be in search of a pre-match pint, so any bar restaurant recommendations would be much appreciated. Curiosity in Canucks, Davis, in Ottawa, Ontario. Now, Davis, as we've repeatedly established on this podcast,

you are not allowed to brag about where you live. You're not allowed to brag about your sweet healthcare system. It's okay. We deserve it. You're not allowed to brag about your passport that allows you to go to any country. Yeah. Nope. You are allowed. You're not allowed to brag about it. Okay. I'll allow it. All right. So, Davis. There are a bunch of great pumps nearby. Including at the stadium. Including at the stadium. I just usually go to the stadium itself.

Yeah. Hang around. Hang around. Get there nice and early. Get there like at least two hours before kickoff so you can go to the... Go to the shop. Go to the shop. So you don't actually have to like wear a jersey to the game.

You can just go to the shop and grab a jersey. And actually most of the good puns... hub hang happens after. Yeah. So, you know, yes, get ready. But I would have like a good meal beforehand, wear comfortable shoes. Yep. It takes a good hour to get to the stadium from the center of London.

Right. Where I imagine you're staying. Right. So leave early. Leave early. Take the train, go for a walk. If you don't have a kit, to wear you can get one at the shop.

So just like incorporate that into your outfit. So like plan to put that over whatever you're wearing. Be casual. Yeah. Be comfortable. Dress for the weather. Dress for the weather for sure. It might rain.

It probably will. But the good news is if it rains, there's going to be a beautiful rainbow over Plow Lane. That's the most, I mean, I don't like to be over the top or anything. But it is the single most. beautiful vista other than the faces of my children and my spouse that I've ever seen in my life. It is more beautiful. Plow Lane is a more physically beautiful place than all the physically beautiful places. Alaska, the Grand Canyon, whatever, whatever there is out there in Ottawa,

Ontario, Davis. Like, it's so much more, it's so beautiful. And the fact that the fans built it, the fact that we built it together, you're going to see across from where you sit, probably, you're going to see the flag of Canada planted by the Across the Pondons that alongside the U.S. flag, probably closer than they deserve to be in 2026. What songs do they need to learn? Johnny Jackson's Yellow and Blue Army. Johnny Jackson's Yellow and Blue Army. It's very tight. They really have to squeeze in that blue.

Okay. Is there somewhere you can direct them online to live? Yeah, if you Google AFC Wimbledon Chants, you can learn. The big ones are, show me the way to plow lane. They often sing Country Roads Take Me Home. Yeah. Which is a great song. But they replaced West Virginia with Southwest London.

Again, really smushing it in. Really got to squeeze it in. Okay. And other things, you probably have other things you want to do in London. Go to Tate Modern. Oh, yeah. Go to the Tate Modern. Go to Trafalgar Square.

Yeah. Go to the Tower of London and meet the Ravens. Yeah, good ravens. Good ravens. Don't go on the weekend. Go on a weekday. Yep. What else?

I think the Tate Modern is a great recommendation because it's free. You just walk in. Yeah. And you are with one of the best art collections in the world. Yes. They'll eat at DeSum. Yeah. Have a meal at DeShoom.

There's so many good places to eat. Yeah. If you've got 30 bucks, go have a martini at the Connott Hotel. It's a really, really good martini. But make a reservation. Make a reservation. Yeah. My mom and I didn't make a reservation.

I don't know. That was a big issue. Yeah. We ended up, my poor mom ended up standing drinking her martini. But she said it was the best martini she'd ever had in her life. Yeah. Download the lime bike apps. Oh, but wear a helmet, Davis.

Oh, yeah. If you're going to take a lime bike, wear a helmet. There's so many people who'd ride these e-bikes without a helmet. It stresses me out. That's true. All right. I think we've covered it. Now, I got to tell you a little bit of news from AFC Wimbledon.

Also, congrats. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Congratulations on your wedding. And it's great to hear that two long-time nerd fighters are getting hitched. I got to give you a little bit of news from AFC Wimbledon. AFC Wimbledon did play the franchise currently applying its trade in Milton Keynes. It was a thoroughly unenjoyable experience, Sarah.

Like, I spent two hours shaking while. staring at my television screen. Yeah. And shaking with rage, with frustration, with, it's a game that shouldn't exist because, of course, the franchise currently applying its trade in Milton Keynes shouldn't exist. In the end, it was a nil-nill-nill draw. How do you say it? Neu-n-n-n-n-l.

That's how the Brits say it apparently. New-new-new. It's, I've thought about it. It's N-I-W. N-W. It's how they say nil-nil-nil. New-new-droll. It was a nil-nil draw.

It's like a sound. It's niu-nue-new. You're welcome. I realize because you so often ask me what the score is while I'm watching the game and I'll say nil-nil, and then you'll say. Neon-new. And I realize that the vast majority of the time you're watching soccer, the score is... Neal-neal. Like, very little happens in a soccer game of note.

That's true. That's true. But, yeah, so it was a nil-nil-nil-dra. and that was probably the right result. It was intense, man. That game is so intense. And I'm just glad it's over and we move on. We're currently fifth in the league table, which is incredible and totally unsustainable.

Yeah. But hopefully we can end the season in 19th. Okay. All right. It's a long season. It's a long season. We gotta hang in. It's just begun.

Sarah frequently points out to me. When everyone gets really excited about where things are going, I'm like, I've been here before. Well, Sarah, thank you for potting with me. Thanks to everybody for your questions. You can email us your questions at Hank and John at gmail.com. Today's podcast was edited by Linus Openhouse. It was mixed by Joseph Tuna Meddish. Our marketing specialist is Brooke Chontwell. We're produced by Roseanne Hollis. Rojas and Hannah West. Our executive producer is Seth Radley. Our editorial assistant is Toboki Chakravardi. And the music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the

podcast is by the Great Gunnarola finally. As they say in our home, hometown. Don't forget to be awesome.