Dear Hank & John - 48: Pizza John Priorities

Episode Date: May 24, 2016

Is Pizza John inherently unsexy? Should I court familial disaster? Where else can I seek dubious advice? And more! AFC update tag music is 'News Sting' by Kevin MacLeod. http://incompetech.com

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. I'm Rozalford, think of it as Dear John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast about death. Where me and my brother, John, we answer your questions and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon and also give you a dubious advice. I forgot that part. How you do, John? So Hank, the big news is that I do not yet know the big news because the we are recording this podcast in advance and the big news is of course what

happened in a fc winaldons playoff semi-finals which i don't know yet but i'm going to uh... come to you from the future and record uh... a little bit at the end of the podcast that lets you know what happened so there will be news from a fc winaldon but there won't be any news from Mars this week. Is that right? That is correct.

I will not be unless there's some really juicy Mars news, which you never know. But if they find life on Mars, I will call in and add my additional news from Mars. Okay. That sounds great. Well, in the meantime, we will move forward in whatever way we can. As this podcast comes out, I will probably be on tour. So I, hopefully, am also doing well. I hope so, I hope so.

Do you want a short poem for the day? It's a very short poem. It was sent in by an anonymous listener, actually. Oh, interesting. Here it is, ready? It's just a couplet. Two lines of Viambic pentameter. The daffodil knows more of spring

than I will ever know of anything. Ah, hmm, interesting. Not bad, right? I like it. I don't know that I agree. I don't know. I think the daffodil knows a lot about spring. I think that you may know more about everything think the Daffodil knows a lot about spring. I think that you may know more about everything

than the Daffodil knows about anything. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, yes, that's probably literally true. It is. It is. I thought that was a good point. It's a good point. Feel of this five embarrassed my family

with that comment. I feel like Neil deGrasse ties in tweeting right now. Yeah. Hank, can we just move on to some questions from our listeners? Okay. I've got a good first question.

It comes from Valerie, who writes, Dear John and Hank, I have sent many questions in, although none have been answered. Oh my goodness. Do you know any other good places to seek dubious advice? Well, I hope that we're not the only place to seek advice in the world, especially because we do get so many questions that we cannot answer just due to the volume of them. We could do an episode of Dear Hengenjohn every day.

We are very lucky in that respect. We have lots of good questions. Too many, so many that even if you send in one every week, we probably won't like, there's a greater than average chance that we will never answer your question. So I apologize to all people like Valerie, and second, John, do you have any thoughts on this? Sure, I go to like, dear Abbey for dubious advice. There's Dan Savage. If you need dubious advice about love or sex, there's, I. If you have dubious, if you need dubious advice

about love or sex, there's, I mean, I feel like the entire internet is essentially made out of advice. Yahoo answers. So great place to get very dubious advice. I sometimes like to go to like the WebMD forums. When I have like a question about whether I have a hernia because the advice there

is exceptionally dubious. Well, yes, I would say that Google is probably your number one place to go for dubious advice, just type your question in and let the algorithm decide. And also maybe people in your life are also good place to go for advice. I like to ask, or at least, even if it's not advice, just say the problem to people who I know so that they will have heard it, and maybe they will say something useful,

and maybe they will not, but at least it will be not just inside of me. Yeah, sure. So to summarize, first, Google your question, then ask people you love, and then finally go to Yahoo Answers. And fourth, send us an email, which we probably respond to, except when you ask, why aren't you responding

to my email? We'll respond to that one, apparently. I've got another question, John. Oh, sorry, Valerie. It's from Merriam. Who asks, a really important life-changing universe altering question, baron stain bears or baron steam bears, John.

I spent it embarrassing only a long time looking up this. But what, tell me what you think? Well, I always say baron steam bears. I don't know if that's correct. I know that it's spelled with an A, but I've always pronounced it with an E, because that's the way I've heard it pronounced. What is correct? Um, I think that we were raised in a baronstein bears household.

That's just what my parents, what our parents did. Um, but it is indeed the baronstein bears, and it has always been the baronstein bears. Wow. And, I, either one of two things, things, well, three things. I've read a lot about this on the internet. It's either that we are really bad at spelling and reading, and we just see what we expect to see. Or there's a massive conspiracy that

has lots of tendrils that go far deeper than just the name of this children's book. Or, this is proof of parallel universes that we sometimes slip in and out of, and that there is this very prevalent parallel universe, in which the name of these books is the baronsteenbears, not the baronsteenbears, and we constantly, in fact, waver between those two universes, and it just happens to be that those are the two most probable universes, and they are,

both extraordinarily probable, this one difference has roughly equal probability. Yeah, other than that they're identical. You're proposing that Donald Trump is the presumptive Republican nominee in both the world of the barren stain bears and the world of the barren stain bears. It occurs to me by the way that lots and lots of people

have no idea who or what the barren stain or barren stain bears are. They are a family of bears that are popular in American children's literature. And I believe there's also been some television programs about them. Actually, I have to say the books hold up pretty well. Yeah, you've read them.

I read them to Henry. Now I know to pronounce baron stain correctly, but I have to say of the things that I could be worried about, this is not really one of them. So let's move on to another question. Deep agreement. This question is from Haysus, who writes,

my name is Haysus. Hank, this guy might be the new Ryan. I'm 19 years old and I live in Los Angeles. My mom moved from Mexico to Los Angeles about 11 years ago. I'm an immigrant, but feel like I will never be able to call this my home because of the way immigration policy is set up. And the hope for reform is dim.

What are your thoughts on immigration and possible reform? I know this question might be hard to answer. So if you'd rather answer this, how likely is it for the next president to not renew President Obama's so-called Dreamers Act through which children who were brought to the United States, as undocumented immigrants, are allowed to stay here legally. That's a kind of quick summary of the Dreamers Act. So the answer to that question is, I think the next president will renew the Dreamers Act. I also think that there will be comprehensive immigration reform in the United States in the next few years

because we desperately, desperately need it. It is unconscionable to me that we haven't passed comprehensive immigration reform. We have a deeply broken immigration system that results in, you know, many, many people being separated from their families, people being deported to countries that they never really lived in because they moved here when they were two or three years old. There's just so many examples of how broken our immigration system is. I really believe that our next president and our next Congress will do something about it.

But I also don't think that our next president will be Donald Trump. If Donald Trump is our next president, obviously, really everything is up for grabs. I have no idea what the U.S. will look like in that situation. But I'm really sorry that you feel like the United States can't be your home because we need it to be your home. It's not just good for you. It's good for all Americans. Immigration is an incredibly important part of how the United States has grown over the last, especially 150 years, and it's

an incredibly important part of how the United States is going to grow both economically, culturally, in terms of political engagement. It's an incredibly important part of our growth when I look forward to the next 100 years. So I really hope for a future in which you can call yourself an American because I think that is the future that we want to be in as a country. I think it is a better, stronger country for all of us if that happens. And I'm sorry that it hasn't. Yes, John. I agree. You have covered that very well and I want Jesus to know that I certainly feel like he is an American and an important part of what makes this country,

this country. I've got another question, John. This question is from Susie, who asks, dear Hank and John, I love to listen to your podcast during my commute. Often, my bus is busy, and I end up sitting in a row next to a stranger as the bus empties out and an empty row becomes available. Should I move to the empty row giving myself and my fellow passenger more space, or should I stay in my seat to avoid giving the impression that I desperately want to get away from the person next to me? This is a great question, Suzie.

This is one of the great deep questions of being a person on this earth in the 21st century. You know what, this has to be on airplanes as well, where I'm sitting next to a person and then right across from us, there is an empty row. And I'm like, I mean, I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go, like it's a long flight and neither of us want to be sitting next to a person. And like in moving, I give us both space and

unless I want to have some kind of relationship with this person I think that everyone appreciates that. On the other hand, I do always feel a bit abandoned when someone does that. I think to myself is there's something so wrong with me that you don't want to sit next to me. I know that's not rational, but I do think it, so I understand Susie's concern here. This is a, yeah, I do. I do understand the concern as well. And this, what I'm about to say, is a completely different situation, but I wanted to talk about it. I was in a movie theater recently, seeing Captain America. And during the previews, there were some guys behind me and they were talking and they seemed like they had loud voices and it seemed almost like they wanted me to hear

what they were saying because they wanted me to know how clever their jokes were. And there was even some smacking of the popcorn bucket, which I didn't understand. There's lots of popcorn bucket smacking and I was like, what is happening? And so I decided, I'm not gonna risk it, that these guys are gonna be talkers,

and that I'm gonna be sitting right next to popcorn smacking, the entire movie, and I just got up, and I was like, Kath and let's go to another seat, and we moved, and it was a less good seat. It wasn't a terrible seat, but I just, I thought that I'm gonna take my destiny into my own hands here and say, hey, I, let's just, let's just not risk it. And I don't care if I'm gonna hurt my destiny into my own hands here and say, hey, I, let's just, let's just not risk it.

And I don't care if I'm gonna hurt these guys' feelings by leaving their jokes behind. I'm gonna go sit in a quieter place. Is that the whole story? That's the whole story, yes. That might have been the oldest person story you've ever told, Hank. Like, while you were telling that story, I think you aged 45 years but in summary

Susie that was a really for me that was a real old man yells at cloud moment anyway um to summarize Susie I think that we should just collectively decide that when there is an empty row if you would be more comfortable, it is not about the person you're sitting next to, or if it is, it's about wanting to make their life better as well. So let's just all embrace the idea that we are going to seek that open row when it is available to us, and we're going to celebrate the space that it gives us, and that it's not in any way a negative reflection of the person you were sitting next to, but instead a positive reflection

of how great it is to be in your own row. Yeah, it's good, it's good. You got another question for us, John? I do, this one comes from Amy who writes, dear John and Hank, my boyfriend Matthew and I have been dating for almost two years now, and so far everything has been wonderful with the exception of one issue. Matthew knows I'm a huge fan of your work,

including the podcast, there's even a possibility he himself may become a nerd fighter someday. Our biggest issue to date has been my pizza, John T-shirt. For those who aren't aware, there's a T-shirt available now at dftba.com featuring my face with a mustache and then beneath it is the word pizza. Why does this exist? It's extremely complicated. I don't even know why it exists at this point, but it's a thing. Anyway, Matthew says it's hard for him to kiss me or hold me. Matthew says it's hard for him to kiss me or hold me when I wear the pizza juncture because there's a large It's hard for him to kiss me or hold me when I wear the pizza-john shirt because there's a large

Mastashioed man staring down at him Along with a stereotypically American food item printed beneath it He says it just ruins the mood is pizza-john inherently unsexy? Do you have any dubious advice on how Matthew and I can continue to thrive in our relationship Without having to compromise my pizza-john shirt first First off, Amy, let me congratulate you on your priorities. Yeah, second, did you just ask the question, is pizza-john inherently un-sexy? As if there is an option in which pizza-john is not inherently un-sexy?

Of course, pizza-john is inherently un-sexy. I don't think pizza-john is un-sexy. I think there's something very romantic about being like, well, what's between me and my beloved? Oh, it's a middle aged man with a mustache and the word pizza. I, Amy legitimately have had this problem before where Catherine is like, nope, nope, not with that shirt on.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. It may be a little different because it's her actual brother-in-law, but yeah. It's a good idea. It's going to say. It's indeed inherently a thing. I'm a gathering on that one. But yeah, I think that this may be an excellent opportunity to change into something more comfortable. Yeah, you know what I would say,

to be honest, Amy, I would say that there are so many great t-shirts available right now at dftba.com that don't have my face on them. And I would ask you to consider maybe purchasing one of those or many of them. But I will say that pizza John, though inherently unsexy, is completely on inside of the boundaries for cuddling. And if anybody feels like Pizzajan should not be cuddled, then they, the problem is with

them, not with your shirt. Now you're making me think about all the places my face has been, which is something I'd rather not consider. Let's move on. All right, John. I've got a question here from Jared. I like this question. My youngest sister is getting married for the second time.

For the first marriage, my wife and I were very generous with a wedding gift when we didn't have a lot of money. For her second wedding, my sister has created a wedding registry and is making very unsuddle hints to my family about what she really wants off of it. My family has mentioned to my sister that she's already gotten a wedding gift from all of us, but that has not deterred her from hinting at more gifts.

My question is, is it appropriate to not get a gift for a sister for her second wedding? Am I being cheap? Is taking a stand on this matter, courting familial disaster? Thank you for your dubious advice. Yeah, I mean, there's two questions here. There's should I court familial disaster?

And there's what is the etiquette? And the question is, does it make sense to you for the etiquette to interrupt and to create familial disaster? So. Yeah, I mean, for me, like avoiding familial disasters worth more than a gravy boat. Yes.

So I would buy the gravy boat. But I'm not one to stand on my principles, as we've talked about in the past on the podcast. I'm the kind of person who will sell out his principles in a second just to avoid unnecessary conflict. Yeah, well, and I think this is kind of a situation where that's probably the thing to do. You don't wanna be like, okay,

send them an article from a website and being like, here's the actual etiquette of second wedding gifts. Don't do that because clearly this is a person who is important in your life and she wants support in the way that she wants support. And that for her is apparently has to do with gifts of her wedding registry. If you want to make a stand for second wedding gift etiquette, then you could let her know what the proper etiquette is, which is that wedding gifts are about usually helping someone get a good start on life,

and that's not necessarily something you're supposed to get twice, and many people don't even get it once. But let's be honest, is that more important to you than supporting your sister in the way she wants to be supported? If it's a financial issue, then you should let her know that it's a financial issue and hopefully she would understand that. I mean, is that really the etiquette of wedding gifts, though? Like, isn't it more about celebrating the marriage? I mean, I think there's two reasons to get a wedding gift. One is to, you know, otherwise, you don't,

the idea is, I guess, that like, once upon a time, people didn't have silverware when they got married, and so you would get them silverware, so that when they moved out of their parents' house, they would have their own silverware, whatever. But that doesn't seem to me most of the time why we actually get wedding gifts these days. We get them to celebrate people's weddings.

I agree that it's awkward. I will tell you there have been a few second weddings where I have been not that thrilled about sending the second wedding present. So I'm sympathetic, but I just think that this is a moment to avoid, this is a moment to avoid courting familial disaster. I completely agree, but I do think that wedding gifts

and in general, the idea of a wedding registry where you ask for things to help build your new life. That's what it's about. And also like that is certainly a valid thing for a second marriage. And there are lots of reasons why that might be useful. And I'm not saying that that only should happen once. But yeah, I mean, I read some articles on this,

and it is generally thought that people going into second weddings are much less likely to have a registry at all. But they can also often be in different positions in their life and there are lots of lots of things that go on. I mean this just seems like is this really the hill that you want to find in Dio? No, it is definitely not definitely not the hill to fight in Dio. Yeah, I just mentioned that because we were like halfway through the podcast. We hadn't mentioned death yet, so I had to squeeze it in somewhere. Good Lord, we've been talking about death so little lately, it's really distressing to

me. You got another question for us? Not really. No, I'm too busy contemplating which hill I will fight and die on. I mean, at some point Hank, there is a case to be made that like, you know, I always say to you, when we have private conversations that, you know, I always say to you, when we have private conversations that aren't podcasts, I always say to you, is this the hill you want to fight and die on.

That's like one of my sayings to you. But it does occur to me that I'm basically saying that there's never a hill that you want to fight and die on, and maybe there should be. Maybe there should be a hill somewhere. I'm just not sure it's the second wedding gift hill. I definitely think it's not that hill, but I also think that we all have to die someday, so it might as well be fighting on a hill. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna keep my eye open

for what is the hill. I want to fight and die on. But don't die, though. All right, Hank, we have a question from Jacob, who writes, dear John and Hank, we have a question from Jacob who writes, dear John and Hank, why have there been so many celebrity deaths this year? Or are they the same amount of celebrity deaths?

And I'm just paying attention more. I think that there have not been more celebrity deaths than there usually are, but that we are all paying more attention. I think that the internet is very death-focused. The internet is kind of like focused on death as a social activity or mourning as a social activity. And I think that that causes every few days

the death of someone to appear on the trending topics of Twitter and the front pages of our Facebooks. And I think that is the difference. I do not think that 2016 has been an unusually fatal year for celebrities or anyone else. I think that life is really defined by death, and that it is always with us, and that we have just noticed that a little more in 2016. I'm glad to see other people coming around to my lifelong ceaseless awareness of the temperariness of all human endeavor.

That's all I can say about it. And I have nothing to say about it because I simply do not know. It would be interesting to see a statistical analysis. There are certainly outliers in any stochastic system and the deaths of people, it would be one of those, especially well-known people, which is a much smaller group of folks than just humans. I do want to say that in the movie Deadpool, there is a death pool where people bet on when people are going to die.

And on that chalkboard in the bar where a dead pool hangs out, there are a number of references to folks. And Ryan Reynolds, and I think, so there's Ryan Reynolds is the pick of John, and then right under John, it says Hank, who is picked TJ Miller, and many people have guessed that this is in fact a reference to Hank and John Green of the Vlog Brothers, who are us. And I'm looking at an AV club article about that very thing. And it says, while unlikely, those, while it seems unlikely, those names are a reference to John and Hank Green of the Vlog Brothers. Wait, while it seems unlikely, they're saying it is if it's a reported fact.

According to the A V club. According to whom? I mean, did the A V club like interview the production designer? I don't know. That says it on the the AV Club, so it's there it is. Well, I would be delighted to be on a chalkboard in the movie Deadpool. That would really, that stands right up with winning the Prince Award in 2006 in terms of my lifetime accomplishments. And let's let's not forget having the highest possible score at Weetowness. Yeah, I also I also am one of the five best aerofighters players on earth.

It's it's good to pick esoteric things to be good at because there's no competition. Well, that is really the key in my experience. Okay, here's another question for you from Kate who asks dear Hank and John. Mosquito season is starting in New York, and it seems that there are a few things more startling and annoying than the sudden high-pitched buzz of a mosquito in your ear in the middle of the night. Do you have any dubious advice about how to block out this sound while sleeping, but also in a way

that doesn't overheat you and lets you hear the alarm clock in the morning? I realize that this problem is more of a nuisance, but it sure would be nice to get some anxiety free sleep. That sounds awful. I moved to Montana. Are you serious? I, woof. Well, you guys also have mosquitoes in Montana. I've seen them. They're the size of like small cars. Yeah, but they can't fit into the house. That's true. It's hard to get them in the house. They've got to try to like, they've got to try to like go inside ways. So Kate, this is a nuisance for you, but it is for many people much more than a nuisance

because of malaria and other mosquito-borne diseases, including the Zika virus, which may be a problem in the United States in the next few years. I recommend a bed net, which does not overheat you, and still lets you hear the alarm clock. Bed nets are great. I recommend a bed net treated within sect aside. Yeah, those do work, and they are available. I am so happy that that has not happened to me in a long time. And I do remember back when I lived in Florida

that that would happen sometimes, or you know, certainly at summer camp. And just, oh, that noise, it is the worst. And they come right at your ear. I don't know why they do it. But I had literally this week had a dream about that sensation and it woke me up. I have no affection for mosquitoes whatsoever.

Hey, because there are reason why we can't just eliminate the mosquito as a species from the planet? Like, we've been so incredibly successful at eliminating lots and lots and lots of species from the planet. Why can't we just turn our like human species killing instincts toward the mosquito? You know, we did a SciShow episode on that very topic recently, and it turns out that it's complicated, but that people do want to do it and scientists say that there will be ecological consequences, but they probably won't be as significant as you might think, and it would be such a huge

public health win. There are, it's worth being said, hundreds of different species of mosquito. There's not just a mosquito and that's that. So that makes it a little more complicated. But there are people who have ideas for how to eradicate particularly the few species, relatively few species of mosquito that carry the most dangerous diseases. So that's something that we're looking into. Actually, I think that malaria is one of the problems with malaria is that it's carried by a lot of different mosquitoes, but like Zika, I know, is only carried by two.

Anyway, we are so far outside our area of expertise right now, Hank, pretending to be etymologists or entomologists, not etymologists. Those are people who study the history of words. Entomologist, whatever. We're so far outside of our expertise that I literally don't even know what I would call myself if I were an expert in this subject. You know, John, I have a question here that is kind of an etymology question. Should we ask that question?

Right. Yes. It's from Zoe who asks, dear Hank and John, my colleagues and I noticed a confusing issue with Microsoft Word this week and haven't be able to come up with an answer. Seeing as we've progressed so far with data storage, like it's all in the cloud now anyway,

why is the save icon still a picture of a floppy disk? Are there any computers left in the world with a floppy disk? Do kids born in the late 90s even have any idea what that is? I'm finding it difficult to understand why there aren't more people confused by this. Yeah, no, I don't disagree with you, Zoe. I think the reason that it's still a floppy disk is that we have sort of internalized that as what saving looks like. I don't think that people still think about floppy disks, at least the, what was there was like a five-inch one that was actually floppy that we had when I was a child would like the Apple 2C and then they came out with those like three-inch floppy disks that were not floppy

they were hard but they were still called floppy disks. Which is an excellent example of the very thing that is happening here, which is that the words start to mean different things as the things that we need words for change. Like cut and paste. We say cut and paste when we mean control C, control V. And we say floppy disk, but in fact, it is a hard disk. It just uses the same technology as the old floppy disks. Right.

So the save icon now has come to mean save a floppy disks. Right. So, the save icon now has come to mean save a floppy disk and image of a floppy disk is now the image of what saving looks like, at least in Microsoft Word. Certainly not on a Mac. So maybe that won't stick around. But all words have context and all the symbols that we use have context. That's deeper than what we associate with them now. So it's all of human history getting bound up and hidden in the current expression of our language and our culture that we have at this particular moment in time.

Hank is such a good entomologist. The only other thing I'd like to say about this is that Hank, we've talked before about how incredibly bad I am predicting the future. Yeah, me too. And so the answer to the question, does anyone still have a floppy disk slot is yes, because I still have one on a computer that I've kept continuously running since about the year 2002.

And on that computer, it has all of the outdated technology that I believed would last forever. The 3.5-inch floppy disk, the CD drive. In fact, I remember when Mac first released a computer that didn't have a CD drive on it, I remember saying, well, that's ludicrous. You can't have a computer that doesn't have a CD-ROM drive. Oh, man, I said that. Here I am holding a computer that doesn't have a CD-ROM drive. I'm so bad at predicting a computer.

I said that about floppy disks. When Mac, when Apple first released a computer that didn't have a floppy disk drive, I was like, no one is going to buy that. It didn't have a floppy disk drive, I was like, no one is going to buy that. It doesn't have a floppy drive. How am I going to install SimAnt on that computer? Exactly. Well, soon, they're going to be releasing computers that don't have screens or even microchips.

And instead, it's just a small piece of plastic that's a 3D printed and then they shoot it up your nose and it just Merges with your brain. That's yeah, that absolutely it's right right around the corner. Anyway, Zoe the answer to your question is that to me the floppy disk The continued use of floppy disks is the hill that I have chosen to fight and die on I'm gonna use them forever. I will never give up on floppy discs. What a fantastic technology This video is brought to you by floppy discs floppy discs There's oh shoot

This podcast is brought to you by floppy discs floppy disks. Floppy disks, they hold very little information and aren't even floppy. And yet somehow I have decided to cast my lot with them for the remainder of my life. This video is also brought to you by the empty row in front of you, the empty row in front of you now, as decreed on this very podcast, yours for the takings.

This podcast is additionally brought to you by that gravy boat that you didn't want, but God, at your wedding, what is that for? Why don't I just put that in a bowl with a spoon? And I actually quite like my gravy boat, and I don't appreciate you talking bad about them because I believe I bought your gravy boat at your wedding. I could not tell you. And lastly, this podcast is brought to you by Pizza John. Pizza John interrupting romantic encounters since 2009.

Beautiful, John. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Hank, we've got to move on to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, but of course there is no news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, so instead, this is the part of the podcast where me from the future will magically appear to tell you what happened in AFC Wimbledon's Playoff Semifinals. Hank, moments ago, literally moments ago, AFC Wimbledon in extra time at Acric did Stanley won.

Three to one aggregate, they tied two to on the night, they were down. Two won, everything was darkness, it looked like they weren't going to be going to Wimbledon, that their season was going to be over, but that is not what happened. Instead, what happened is that autobioloccanfen was scored a beautiful autobioloccanfen was beautiful headed goal in the second half, and that sent the game to extra time. And then in extra time, there was an amazing run. I don't, was it Rixie?

I don't even remember who made the run. Somebody made the run. I think it was Rixie. The goalkeeper made a great save, but who was there to put back the ball into the back of the net but wild Taylor the Montserratian messy the messy for Montserrat with an amazing goal wimble then in extra time go to the playoff finals I'm going to Wembley Hank I don't know I don't know how yet I haven't figured out the exact mechanics through which I'm gonna be able to go to the Indy 500 and to Wembley,

but I'm going. I'm gonna figure that out as soon as I stop recording this podcast. So the news from AFC Wimbledon is that everything is beautiful. Nothing hurts. AFC Wimbledon going to Wembley where they will play Plymouth R-Gyle at Wembley, one game playoff. The winner goes to League 1. Unbelievable. play, Plymouth R-Gyle, at Wembley, one gameplay off, the winner goes to League One, unbelievable. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hank, can you believe that incredible drama? Can you believe the either good or terrible news?

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ I cannot believe it, Judd. I also feel like we went into it a little early, but maybe not. No, we did. Oh, I guess not. We've been going for a long time. Well, oh, geez, I had no idea.

Well, I'm very excited for your news or possibly devastated by your news. Me too. I have never been so happy and or devastated. All I can say is that this either was a great season for AFC Wimbledon and I'm so proud to be a sponsor of their team or this continues to be an amazing season for AFC Wimbledon and I'm so proud to be a sponsor

of their team. Well, that's the right way to look at it, John. Either way, you and your team have done great things this season, and I heart it. Well, I'm so glad that it's made you happy because just as a reminder, you do pay for part of the sponsorship. Yes, John. AFC Wimbledon is Bay. Is what? Bay. Oh, is that one of those internet words that I've seen, but I don't know how to pronounce? Yeah, I hope I'm pronouncing it correctly. Oh, man, you're such an etymologist. Hank, before we get to what we learned for today, I just want to include one response that was

sent in by Tessa, who wrote, dear John and Hank, I was just listening to episode 43 where you talk about compliments. I am currently seven months pregnant, so I am something of an expert in receiving quote unquote compliments that make me uncomfortable. Hank, it is so true. I don't know if we talked about this on the podcast before, but people are terrible at complimenting pregnant people.

You look, you're huge! You're so small! She writes, People tell me I look small, big, uncomfortable, tired, and like I'm do any day now. I'd like to offer some dubious advice on doling out compliments that I think you may have missed. One, please compliment people on things they have chosen, clothes, hair style, possessions, not on physical features they have no control over, skin color, shape size of body.

Two, if you must comment on someone's physical appearance and you don't, it is always acceptable to say nothing, say, you look great with no qualifiers at the end like, for how pregnant you are. Hahaha. Protip speculating on when a pregnant person is due is an indirect comment about their size. So if you're interested, try asking instead of guessing. Go. Tessa, where's your podcast? Yeah, that's a... I should have you on this in the past.

Thank you for the great advice, Tessa. You look fantastic. No qualifiers. So Hank, what did we learn today? We learned that it is indeed the baron stain bears and not the baron stain bears. And that possibly, this is evidence of a parallel universe that we exist inside of.

I mean, I'm gonna say that that's not likely, but I guess it's possible. We learned that whether to buy a second wedding present is perhaps not the hill to fight and die on because that hill is I actually forgot what my hill was. What was my hill that I was gonna find? Oh, the floppy disc hill. Of course! What a brilliant decision by me! I have cast my lot with a technology that shall never age. And John, we also learned that AFC Wimbledon is either going to the playoff final or not, but we definitely learned one of those two things!

I also learned whether or not I'm going to London on May 30th. Oh yeah! And lastly, we learned that if you can't get dubious advice from Dear Hank and John, there are lots of other places on the internet where you can find dubious advice, first and foremost among them, Yahoo Answers! Oh Yahoo! Oh Yahoo Answers! That's so good!

Never stop answering! Never stop answering! Long may you answer! Thank you for listening to this podcast called dear Hank and John I'm Hank Green that other guys John Green This podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins our intern is caught him around us We get lots of question help from Rosie on a false Rohos. You can email us at Hank and John at gmail.com You can also send us questions via the Twitter where I am Hank Green. Nope, I get that wrong every time.

I do not know my own name. Where I am John Green. Hank is Hank Green. You can use the hashtag, dear Hank and John. Thank you again for listening. Our theme music, by the way, Gunnarola. Forgot about that.

Thank you again for listening as we say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome.