Dear Hank & John - 58: That's the Science (w/ Flula!)

Episode Date: August 16, 2016

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more!

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or as I like to think of it, hello and welcome to Dear Hank and Flula. Sorry John, where are you? Where are you? I don't even know. I don't even know what he's up to. Thank you Flula for joining us. This is a comedy podcast where me and usually my brother John, but today, Flula Borg, answer your questions,

give you a dupe of advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimble and Hey Flula, how you doing? I'm so good, Hank, how are you doing today? I'm great, I'm so happy to have you on the podcast to help answer some people's questions, and I'm sure you're gonna be such a wonderful purveyor of Dubie's advice. I am, love the Dubies.

Yeah, so, yeah, what are you up to right now? Where are you? I'm currently in a town it is called Los Angeles. I'm wearing a small pair of undepans, no socks and no shirt. Oh, that's not really what I asked, but thank you for letting me know anyway. Of course. What are you wearing, Hank? I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Like, I am not wearing socks though. I'm sock free. So hot. So hot. Too hot for podcast.

Too hot for podcast. What kind of underpants are you wearing? I'm wearing the kind that is having a slit. So if you are needing to use toilets in the first way, you can just go with that. All right. Good. Good. Great.

Do you, by any chance, have a short poem for us today? I have written one just point one second ago. The poem is called Sandwich. OK. Are you ready? Yes. Here we go. Look at you, slices. Look at you, peanuts, I squash you, and then put you

on the bread, and then I eat you, delicious. The end. That was great. Sandwich. That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your short poem for us, Flula. Of course, Hank. It's available immediately on a medium.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, I feel like that's, I feel like that's selling yourself short, Flula. You should maybe, you should just go straight to, like, printed page and, like, sell a pamphlet with just your poetry. That's very smart. I'm emailing and tweeting Simon and Schuster right now. Both of them. Both, both, always both.

You have to go double or nothing. You know how they say it? I do. Oh, good. And so, yeah. Uh, well, well, I guess we should probably start answering questions from people. I love that when this happens on the podcast with me and you, not John. Do you have any particular question that stuck out to you that you want to answer?

I will go in any direction that you are, you know like when the man is driving and the man in the other seat he's riding oozey, I am, you're, I'm riding oozey, so you, you may select. What I'm hearing, Flula, is that you haven't really, you haven't really read any of the questions. That is accurate, yes. Alright, well this one is from Amanda, who asks Hank and Flula Why don't people eat the ends of loaves of bread? What is the need for this discrimination? Oh, I thought I thought that was a good good question for you because you obviously are passionate about sandwiches

I do have passion of sandwich. I have passion of carbohydrates My answer for Amanda I will say is I do do not do, I will, I do. Actually, I have something reverse, discriminations. I love the ends of the bread because they are symbolizing a beginning and also an ending. And these are the most fun parts of movies, poems and books and sandwiches and die-hard movies. But not of life. No. The beginning of a life is pretty, pretty fun, but the end not so much. Not very much.

You are a baby once more but with wrinkles. Yes. Yes. And then you have to not exist anymore. It's sad. That's a sad time. Do you think a lot about death, Lula? I, not enough.

I think if I was thinking more about it, I would be doing many more adventure things. You know, I would not worry so much about groceries or am I properly hydrated? Things like this. I think it's very important to keep properly hydrated. But yeah, that's interesting to hear. I think that often my other partner on this podcast, John Green, he thinks a little bit too much about death. Oh, what do you mean? Oh, you know, he's just a worry-work. Ah, ah, oh, I would imagine if you are thinking about this,

you would say, hey, perhaps death is happening. Let me stop my warts and just go with, have pimples of happiness. That's a happy, yep. Uh-huh. So I also am surprised to hear you say that you feel like you don't go on enough adventures. Yeah, well, I think you know it is about blood pressure and I have measured mine and it's

usual in a healthy range. I think this is terrible. I think you should have high blood pressure all the time because of the adventures that are happening, not because of too much sodium. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I think I do, but I feel like you lead a very interesting, exciting life. I saw you on Conan recently.

Oh, that was very nice. I was, that was a fun time. I'm not certain how it occurred, but hey, I loved it. He was very friendly and also a tall man of height. He was tall. Do you feel like you had high blood pressure during your Conan O'Brien experience? I experienced a slight conneption or something where a synapse is firing in the brain in a strange location. Absolute, it was very fun. OK.

Good, I really enjoyed it. If people who are listening haven't watched that, it is very worth watching. So Flula, are you German citizen? Yeah, I'm a German citizen ready for the actions. Do you also have American citizenship? I do not. I'm very jealousy of people. Well, actually, I don't know. Should I have a jealousy of this?

Oh, well, you would be able to vote. But you can't. I, I cannot vote, but I do wish I could vote for you guys. Yes, we would also, I'm sure appreciate that. So we have another question from Dennis on that. In that vein, who asked, dear Hank and Flula, I'm an American citizen. And this year will be my first vote ever in an election. You guys have stressed how important it is to vote and to research.

I'm excited to vote, but I'm unsure how to do proper research. Do I check my congressman's website for their policy ideas? How can I check if the data is unbiased? Can I snapchat them? After watching always sunny about immigration reform? Oh, Dennis. Well, Hank, you are American man. You are Yankee-Doodle-Dandy.

What would you say to this? Well, it's not like you don't have elections as well in Germany. Do you vote in German elections? I do, yeah. I mean, well, I can say to Dennis Dennis, I would not Snapchat always sunny for the immigration reform. I think this would not help with the voting. This would help with adding more data bytes to the internet traffic,

but this does not educate you. So I would say maybe don't do that one. So that's my first note. What about you, Hank? I think that it would be good to, like, it would be nice if you could snap chat to a politician and they would snap you back. And they'd be like, yeah, no, I totally agree with everything you're saying, but I think that, you know, if you represent a large number of people, it's hard to answer all the snaps that are coming in.

True. So, yeah, I think that there are, you can both look at the sort of like the policy ideas of your congress people, and it's not that you like can or cannot trust those things. I think that in many cases what you're looking at there is you are learning about not just what they want, but sort of what their values are, and like the direction that they think the country should go in, and if you don't agree with those things, then you can look at someone else, or if you do, or some of them, but not all of them. That's how that's going to part of how you get informed.

But I think also there's not just in terms of candidates, there are always things on your ballot that might throw you for a little bit of a loop, whether they're like local initiatives that are like, we always have somebody who's trying to do a tax levy. Like they're going to increase taxes for 10 years by some small amount. And they're going to take that money and they're gonna increase taxes for 10 years by some small amount and they're gonna take that money and they're gonna make the schools better. And, but you have to vote for those things

and you have to decide whether or not you're one of those people who's like, yes, I will pay a little bit extra money for schools. Or, no, I think people should be less smart and educated. You have to pick, which one of those people you wanna be? So, I don't know, that's up to you. But yeah, I find that, you know, indeed trusting a politician's policy statements does make sense.

It's not going to tell you, like, what kind of person they are, it's not going to necessarily outline, like, this person is definitely not going to be a jerk, but it will tell you if they like what they want to represent and do in the government aligns with your values. And unfortunately you cannot run out and you know not always, sometimes you can, for local elections, you can sometimes even like go to talk to those people, like go to events and ask them questions and see get a feel for them. But, you know, you definitely don't have to do that. I think that about an hour's worth of research with a sample ballot will tell you, you know, tell you what you want and how to vote.

Wow, that was very great. I feel very prepared now to do all the things. Well, good. I'm sure that Germany needs your vote. I know that there are a great many things of interest and import happening in Germany right now. Yeah, it's a crazy place. We do not have two parties that are doing sassy things. We have many, many parties, which is nice. These are not parties with hats and salads, but you know, like political parties. We also

have salad parties as well, but we have many more than you guys at the moment. Yeah, but you know, like political parties. We also have salad parties as well, but we have many more than you guys at the moment. Yeah, but you are having some new parties, Libertarian, not new, but they are making some noises, the libertarians and the greens are doing something still. That's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, it's very difficult in the way that our voting works for other parties to take a substantial portion of the vote

because they're just not going to actually win, at least not at a national level. So, anytime you vote for a third party, you are taking votes, you are kind of in effect, taking votes away from the person who is going to put, who has the higher chance of winning, who you maybe don't feel great about, but you feel better about than the other person and thus the quandary. But yeah, it's definitely in this year where there are two fairly unpopular candidates at the top of the two main parties. Yeah, it looks like Gary Johnson's going gonna do pretty well for a third party candidate,

which has happened before in the history of America, but yeah. Not recently. I'm excited. I am not excited. I dislike this election a lot, and I want it to be over. Yeah, me as well. I mean, I'm just a man hanging out, but I am very confused that it is happening like this There's a very strange situation that we are observing as Europeans. We don't really know how this has happened

It's like a movie that gets a sequel and then there are still 12 more sequels and you're like, but why are the sequels coming and then they are still here and This is so confusing. So who knows, I'm excited for it to be done and you know, fingers crossed very hard. Do you ask a question? Okay, how listen, oh these are some nice ones here. Oh, Riley, here's Riley. Dear Hank and John, oh, dear Hank and Flula. When you were discussing the software update for the Mars Rover and its potential sentience, that got me wondering, would it be possible

for someone to hack into a Rover on another planet? I don't know why anyone would want to do that, but now I'm just curious if it is possible. Thank you for entertaining this ridiculous question. I love the podcast. Hank, you are a sassy muffin of studs. That's probably- Thank you, Riley.

That's very kind. Yeah, yes, yes. It is possible to hack. I would say that it's possible to hack anything, but you can send NASA sends not just messages to tell the rover what to do, but it sends firmware upgrades and software upgrades. It will send an entire new operating system to the rover,

have it turn off and reboot with a new operating system. So you could basically do whatever you want if you could get, figure out how NASA sends the signals, both practically, like physically, which is, I'm sure, a very large antenna with a huge amount of energy behind it, because it has to send all the way to Mars. So you would have to build one of those or hack into NASA's.

And then you would have to sort of like look at, the messages that NASA sends, and either know how the software works because you work at NASA or sort of reverse engineer what protocols they're using and what programming language that they're using. I'm sure that like it's public knowledge, what operating system it's based on

and what programming language they use, but I don't know if it's like the protocols probably aren't public knowledge. So it would be a lot of work and you would be able to maybe hack into a Mars Rover and tell it to do something, but please don't. Don't do it.

Because they know what they're doing. It's pretty expensive thing and that would be mean. I would think that if anybody did hack into the Mars Rover, it would have to be like state sponsoredsponsored kind of like terrorism thing. Like, you have to be like North Korea doing it. Yeah, yeah. Or perhaps just not even sponsored terrorists, just sponsored root-routness, you know? It's... Yeah, it isn't really terrorist, so you're like...

This could be rude. But I will tell you, Riley, I have Google searched, and the Mars Rhofer runs on Windows 98. So, just so you know, And so that's very exciting. Yes, good. I would have assumed maybe Ubuntu, but oh, like Linux, some kind of Linux. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, red hat, red hat. All right, we've got another question. Do you want to hear it? So bad, so bad. Here's another question. It's from Elijah who asks, dear Hank and John, what is the function of the holes in cheesets and most other crackers for that matter,

other than to rob me of cheesy substance that is rightfully mine? So you're saying that like they make the hole and they're like, ha ha, Elijah's not going to get this bit of cheeset. No, I must tell you, I know why this is Hank. May I, may I? Do you?

Yes. Okay, so do you know like if you are in a Serran rap bag and pretending that you are, let us say you are a piece of chocolate and it is just no air is in the back. Okay? Okay. Can you, can you smell, what is, what is happening? Can you smell this chocolate?

Can you, am I the chocolate? No, you are human who's looking at the chocolate. Okay, so there's a chocolate in a saran wrap bag, no holes. No holes and very tight, no oxygen is inside. Okay, got it. Can you smell this chocolate? No. Can you enjoy the chocolate in a tasty way?

Not unless I cut up in the saran wrap. Ha ha, to enter the oxygen which helps to make smells and tastes and these are the whole purposes. The holes in that in the cracker are letting the oxygen touch the cheese and massage it in science ways. So when you put it in your mouth, then you can taste it more delicious. If it was no holes, there would be no flavor, Elijah. You know, and that's why the science, that's the science. I disagree with you. Well, science is malleable.

So I, I, I think I have another suggestion that if you bake a cracker, which is just sort of like a piece of bread, right? If you throw it in there, it's gonna puff up and get me, so think about a goldfish. A goldfish is a crack with no holes in it. It's just cut into a goldfish shape. No kidding.

And, but it's sort of puffed up, right? So I think like with a cheese it or a saltine, like you see where the dot is, is sort of flat and then it puffs up around that. But if the dot wasn't there, then it just be puffing up all around and it would be like a weird, weird sphere thing instead of like a flat cracker thing. So they poke the holes in so that the steam can escape when it while it's baking so it doesn't puff it up into one of the into like a puff pastry with a big big bunch of air in the middle. Ah, that's that's my thought as to why they put holes in cheese it's. But I like oxygen massages. Have you ever had an oxygen massage? I have one every day. It is why I am 84% nudity right now. I'm just feeling the oxygen massaging my epidermis.

It's good. It's good. So like any nearby thing that like flula, the way that flula likes chocolate can smell. Oh, welcome to me, odors. Do you ever fear that you'll be eaten by a bear? I only fears this if I'm in a forest, and it is very dark, and I am covered in chocolate.

And that happens how often? Zero times in my life, how about you, Hank? Also zero times in my life, but the way that you said it, it made me think maybe it was like another version of an oxygen massage for you. Chocolate massage. Oh, no, no, it's a dream. I have a dream. This is like every month or maybe two months I have a chocolate beer a dream. This is a like every month or maybe two months. I have a chocolate bear forest dream.

I thought that it was a dream, like not like at like what happens at night, but the like your aspirations for the future. Oh, like a goal. It's like my vision, my vision board. Yeah, it was on my vision board, which was a cartoon It was on my vision board, which was a cartoon rendering of my body covered in white chocolate, and then a beer. White chocolate. White chocolate, of course, white chocolate, which really is not real chocolate, which is why the beers don't care. I mean, because they're rational beings, they understand the way that everyone else does, that white chocolate is just a dangerous lie.

I agree. Oh, hey, I just remembered the real reason of cheesy cracker holes. Oh, yeah. Necklaces. Necklice. Necklice. What is plural of necklaces?

Yes, I think it's necklaces. Necklaces is the reason. So there we go, Elijah. Are we still on a Leisure? Have we moved on? I will never move on from a leisure. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. I... Okay. Good. I think we should though. Okay, let's move. Okay, bye-bye. But, if anybody out there wants to send us pictures of you wearing a cheese at necklace,

we will look at them and maybe even put them on our Patreon page. Oh, all the Patreon Patreon will enjoy this picture. I will. I will. And then after where you can just eat it, you can walk around all day with your cheese necklace and nibble, nibble, and always have a snack with you. I think it's a great idea. Portable jewelry snacks. This is a market niche. Hank, it's a market niche. All right, hit us for another question, Flula. Great, Grace writes,

dear hang and, Flula, yeah, hello. I was recently staying in a hotel and after a long day of sightseeing, I went down to the hotel pool and also hot tap. I got into the hot tap, but then five minutes later, a large family with many small children entered the premises.

This very much stressed me out. My question is, what is the proper hotel hot tub at Iketi? I really just want to relax and peace and quiet, but when is it acceptable to get up and leave if someone is joining you? I don't want to offend. Please help me help me very much. Grace. So I assume that this whole family came and joined in the hot tub or were they just around? I imagine it was like the toes and calves and pervases of a large family like many humans in the in the top. Well I Grace I think that you there's two options here or guess three. One is to just sit silently and August 3. One is to just sit silently and stay in the hot tub and not interact with your new friends. Two is to just leave, which is also completely acceptable. Three is to engage your new friends in conversation and be like, hey, we are enjoying a hot tub together.

I feel like option one is very weird, but I think option two or three are both fine. You can, you know, like if they enter, they don't know how long you've been in a hot tub, maybe you've been in the hot tub for an amount of time that is dangerous, so you must leave the hot tub, whether or not they had arrived, so they're not gonna feel offended. If you're like, oh, I've finished my hot tub time

and you move along. And I imagine they also won't feel offended if you're like, hey where are you guys from? I'm visiting from Alberta and hot tub do you often come to hot tubs? But I do think that like you can't sort of like stick claim on a hot tub at a hotel and be like, I was here first so get your calves and pelvis out of this hot tub family of many people. You cannot do it. I will tell to you, Hank, my strategy. I stare at the toes of the people walking and if the toes are looking clean, I shall stay in the pool.

If the toes are looking funky, I shall make a pretend of a phone call that I have just received in my head or also I or in the sky and I will pretend someone is calling me and I will just run and scream What what what has happened on the phone that makes you run and scream? I say oh is it is it true? Oh no, and then I leave okay? Okay, yeah, and then I apologize to those guys so sorry so sorry large family be ob But then I'm never ob Do you know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. I think that's I think that's a great plan

And I don't know that it's necessary But I think that the checking out of the toes is is a really good is a really good thought I agree. Thank you for that one. Also, maybe if you just stare at their feet for long enough, they'll get the point and they'll leave themselves. Like they'll be like, why is this person such a foot starrer? This is making you very uncomfortable. So they invaded your hot tub and made you uncomfortable.

So you gotta get them back and be like, mm, foot, mm, yeah, feet, toes, toenails. Yeah, I think if you also mumble those words, mm-hmm, yeah, feet, mm-toes, mm-toe nails. This also works if you repeat it. Okay. Yeah, that definitely works. That definitely works.

Perfect. Yes. Now we got another question. We're flying through him, Flula. We are good at this. Oh, I love it. Got another question from Maggie who asks, dear, heik and Flula, we are good at this. Oh, I love it. Uh, got another question from Maggie who asks, Dear Hike and Flula, help!

I've scheduled for a colonoscopy in a few weeks, and I'm incredibly nervous about it. I've never gone through a medical procedure of this magnitude and I'm not looking forward to having my body both drugged and medically invaded. Uh, this isn't even to mention the preparation that goes the day before. Do you have any dubious advice on how I can be less freaked out about the whole situation?

Oh boy, Maggie. The song's very exciting. I would say to Maggie if she's having a favorite song and a favorite snack and also a favorite pair of socks to wear the socks, eat the snack, listen to the song, and repeat like the shampoo. Well, I do have one problem with this, because you've never had a colonoscopy, obviously, but you can't eat anything the day before. You can have like lime jello or something. So if lime jello happens to be one of your favorite snacks,

then it goes. It is. It goes. Go ahead. Yeah? Thanks Hank. Maggie, I hope you like lime cello. Just shove it into your mouth. Just eat many leaders.

Yeah. I have had several colonoscopies. And what? Yes. And I would only have one colon. Yes, but different times. Not at the same time. Okay, got it.

Oh, okay. And I will say that it's not so bad. You're right, the prep the day before is the worst part. Make sure that you refrigerate that stuff before you drink it, because drinking it warm is the end of days. But one of my favorite things in the world, get, because drinking at warm is the end of the end of days. But one of my favorite things in the world, my favorite sensations in the whole world is the drug that they give you right before you get a colonoscopy.

I would definitely be addicted to that drug if I could be. And it makes you feel very good in the three seconds before you are unconscious. But it's almost worth the entire experience for me. And I know that I'm basically talking up illegal drugs right now, but it's almost worth the entire experience for those three seconds of what must be just like what people feel when they are the happiest they've ever been. just like what people feel when they are the happiest they've ever been. Oh. So don't try and get that stuff in a non-medical situation,

because it would definitely be something that wouldn't, would not. And then there's the whole afterwards, which is very fun. But, well, it's a very normal procedure that lots of people have done to them, and it's, you know, my first colonoscopy I was freaked out and I didn't like it and then now it's just sort of like a thing that happens. And I don't mind at all. It's kind of like, it's kind of like a couple of days out of my schedule that I can't

like do stuff, but so totally worth it for, you know, for telling your doctor what your doctor needs to know about your body. So what you're saying, Hank, is to enjoy these drugs, you should treat your body in a way that requires a colonoscopy. That's legal. This is legal. Listen, I need this colonoscopy. Now give me these delicious drugs.

That's what you're saying. Yeah. No, okay. Don't do that. Don't. Okay. I said no. Okay, don't do that. Don't, okay. I said almost, not totally, not entirely worth it, almost worth it. God it, so close to worth it, but not quite. Right, got it.

Okay, good. God it, great. Thanks. This is exciting. Yeah, thank you. I'm so excited for my first, Colin, for my first scoping. Yeah. Now, and yeah, they, they put a camera up you butt. Have you ever, have you ever, oh, had, why do they, why do they do this? So that they can look around inside of your

colon and see if there's anything wrong. What does this have to do with a colonoscopy? That's what it is. They, what they put a camera in your anus. Yeah, it's like on a snake. It's like it is. What's it put to camera in your anus? Yeah, it's like on a snake. It's like a camera tube. They put a feed up there. They put a snake up your anus with a camera. Yes, basically.

It's like a little snake, like pretty thin. It can bend itself and look around and it even has a little tool on it to remove things if they need to take a biopsy or remove a polyp. Oh, great. It even has a little tool on it to remove things if they need to take a biopsy or remove a polyp. Oh, great. It's got a little laser beam on it to cauterize where they've removed a thing. So, okay, yeah, well, I...

So it's a laser camera snake. Perfect, I am Maggie very excited for you. In-choice the drugs. I would say this would be a very fun time. Just everything that hangs set for the last 60 seconds don't listen to that. It's my advice to you, Maggie. Okay. It will be great. I am now sealing my anus as we speak, so this will never happen to me.

So I am safe. Good luck. I think that if you seal your anus up, you're gonna need a colon. Ask me pretty quick. Ooh, so, okay, this is very, this is so, keep it open. Give it open there. Okay, okay, the hole I'm widening my hole.

No. All right, here's another question. It's from Zach who asks, dear Hakejohn, I'm considering using 23 in me to get my personal genetic information. I'm very curious to learn about my ancestry. However, I'm worried that my genetic code will reveal that I have a gene associated with a disease. I don't want the results to depress me, but at the same time, I realize that my fear of a negative result is irrational,

since learning about it won't change it. In fact, learning about a genetic risk might help me take steps to avoid it. Have you ever considered getting a personal genetic information test? And do you have any to be as advised for me? Who? That's from Zach. Wow. Do you have you ever thought about having your genome? Genomes? I think that my genome, I have not, but I imagine I should, I wouldn't maybe like to know, but I don't care so much. I think if like I was feeling funky junky and like why do I feel so funky junky? Maybe it's in my genome, then I would do it.

But I'm feeling pretty good, so I don't care. But if you just said, hey, hey Flula, guess what, here's your genome info. I would be kind of excited. Mm-hmm. What about you? Yeah, it'll tell you about your answer. Like that's mostly what 23 means about it. It's like telling you sort of where you're from.

And oftentimes it's like if you're in America, it's like you are some part German. But it'd be weird if you were German and they're like, you are not all German. Oh, that would be strange. Yeah, yeah, that's like when you aren't. I'm, well, no one is right. I mean, it's like when the, it's like a hot dog, right? How much of the hot dog it is is beef? I think it's like three percent is right. I mean, it's like when it's like a hotdog, right? How much of the hotdog it is is beef? I think it's like three percent is beef and the 97 percent is like happiness or something. I have not heard anything about your ancestry. I know it is German with lots of Germans and

the sprinkling of German, but I imagine also there must be some tiny doses of French or Viking or you know who knows something interesting and talk to and talk to kids, something like that. What about you Hank, who are you? I don't know, that's that's one reason why I would be interested because like my family you know it branches off so quickly and then like you completely lose track. And I, yeah, I mean, all of the people, all of my grandparents, you know, their grandparents, I don't know if all of their grandparents,

but all of my grandparents' parents were American. So I don't have any like recent immigrants in my family. But I'm from, a lot of me is from the South of America, which means not South America, but the South of the US, where there's a lot of like Irish, there's a lot of... It's a lot of, I'm very European, it's my guess. But I would love to know more.

I've seen your face and you know your legs and torso, I would imagine you are European. That's right. Where did you see my torso? In a dream, I was in a forest and then the bear is there. And then you are holding a large, you are holding a large bucket of white chocolate. Okay, now, this dream is going directions. I didn't, we didn't mention that the first time.

It's a detail I did not want to share with you, but because we are speaking about 23 and me, I was thinking 23 and why not, I will tell Hank. Uh, well thank you. I, I, I'm, you're welcome. You know, I think honesty is the best policy. Really though, like for sure. Mmm, I mean, maybe not when it's about a weird bear dream and I'm, you know, my torso is out and I've got a bucket of white chocolate, but like usually, yeah.

I'm regretting this honesty. Yeah, well, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna let it get weird between us. Thanks Hank. Yeah. Hey, should I read a question? Sure, okay. Hey, oh, we didn't even answer Zach's question.

I'll add to Zach. It's 123 and me isn't gonna tell you a lot about genetic diseases, unless they are very significant. And those are things that you should know about, for sure, because you can, indeed, be proactive about the diseases that you are genetically either predisposed to or are

definitely going to get. And so, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. And yes, don't worry. And think about how great it'll be to know that you don't have those diseases, which is the most likely out. Yes, nice working, playing the odds that's good. Yeah. Shall I read a question? I'm so excited. Yes, nice work, Hank, playing the odds. That's good. Yeah. Shall I read a question? I'm so excited. Yes, please do.

Hank and Flula, I am cheap and don't enjoy sugar beverages. This is Ben, who is typing. So when I go eat at a food establishment, I rarely order a soft drink. Good for you, Ben. A hard drink. Yeah, it could work, Ben. When I go to a fast food restaurant, I ask for a cup of water. And when possible, I fill the small cups that give me with carbonated water from the drinking fountain, using the little tabby thing,

what, what, what? Oh, Tisk, Tisk, Benjamin! Am I stealing or is it acceptable to drink this sparkle water? Since no one in the right mind would pay for soda and get sparkling soda water, at least not in America, what do you think guys love always Ben shout out? So I do this too. And I think that is the subject of much contention. I pay for soda water, which I dislike doing, and it almost to me seems like I'm doing something like stupid, not wrong, but dumb, because clearly the soda water costs a little bit more than water because they have to carbonate it,

so they have to like replace the carbonation cylinders, but I can't imagine it cost more than like five cents. So like paying for a soda and then getting soda water is not a good deal for me. However, when I buy soda water at the store, like if I get a lacroy, then like I'm paying roughly similar amounts as if I were buying like a 12 pack of coaks. So it it's I think that it is probably a subject of much debate. And I would be interested to hear if like fast food employees are trained in a specific circumstance like no, they're not allowed to get soda water if they just order water. And I don't know. Like if it was like, there are some places where there's like

Seagrams club soda and then you're getting that. And for some reason that seems better. Like it's better to pay for that. Even though it's just bubbly water, I'm pretty sure they're not putting anything in that Seagrams club soda. It's just the stuff. Just the things.

But it's got a brand on it. So it feels more like it's okay to pay for it and not just like a tabby thing, which feels like the water. And also, like, you got to say that the water costs the money, too, not just the water, like, but like, you know, you're getting ice in the water, then like, the ice costs the electricity, and cooling the water down costs money. So, I don't know, like, it is a weird, it is a weird gray area in the world of soft drinks. I, I like your points of ice. It costs money to make ice, but they do not charge you for the ice when you ask for ice water.

So, oh, ice, that's, my, here's my simple answer to Ben. If it is, it's a little tabby, then it is free. If it is a big tabby, then you must pay the dollars. But if it's a tiny tabby it means who cares. That is the message I think they are sending to the human purchasing liquids. I want to know what the official McDonald's policy is on this. Oh yeah. Me as well.

What does Ray Croc think? I would like to know. He's Ray Croc. He's the founder of McDonald's. You know the name of the founder of McDonald's? Yeah. You don't know, says? I did not know that.

Yeah. Where did you, is that something that's taught in German schools? No, I just read things. And so, like, when you walk into sometimes the McDonald's, it's like a, you know, like a plaque. It's like shout out, man who made special sauce and also invented our restaurant Ray Crock No, no man. Yeah, like that. I'm looking at a picture of him right now. Yeah. Yeah. He's a man and he made McDonald's

Sorry, yeah, yeah, he also he also founded a hamburger university Which I want which I want to know about is that a number? No, I will check. Let me check Type-y type-y no What which I want to know about is that in a number? I don't know. I will check. Let me check. Type it. Type it. No. No, it is not. It is an oakbrook. Very different. Very different. Yeah. That's very exciting. Nice work, Recroc with your hamburger, you. Yes. Indeed. You can learn all about how to work in McDonald's there. Yeah, I like I had never considered how like

I feel like important this question is. It's just people people don't talk about it. Yeah, I had never considered how, I feel like important this question is, it's just people don't talk about it. And I think that club soda is total, sort of water, totally the direction we should all be going in because I like it and it's fun. And it's not just water, but it doesn't have all the weirdness in it. So yeah. You. So, yeah.

You know it, but if you remember Shakespeare, Bubbles, Bubbles, Toil, and Troubles. It's true. So, don't want to get kicked out of McDonald's. Yeah, it's Troubles because of the Bubbles. Shakespeare, he was very, he knew it. He saw it. Um, you know, I feel bad for going to McDonald's and paying for my soda water. Don't know, you're helping.

You're helping Hank. I'm helping who, McDonald's? You are levels of guilt. If you had these all these times, if you had not paid, you would have tiny guilty feelings inside your brain. And now you don't have those. Now you just feel like a silly goose. And that's okay.

Right? Yeah. Nope. Now you just feel like a silly goose and that's okay Right yeah, no yep. I mean there's there. It's I don't know which of those feelings is worse Oh, no stealing from McDonald's is never gonna make me feel that bad true. Yeah, I agree Ray Croc doesn't care No, definitely not definitely not that's what I got a question for you, Flula. Woo! It's, uh, we're gonna do, we probably just do one more question. It's from Rachel who asks, dear Hank and John, I just found out my cousin who lives fairly far away in a different country just named her newborn girl, the same name, me

and my husband had picked out for our baby, due in January. Can I still use the name? Yes, add a silent H someplace after a vowel. Ha ha. Yeah, every name has an alternate spelling now. Don't worry, yes, you could spell it every way. And as long as you put down, oh, it's pronounced like Jenny,

but it spelled D H A N O-N-O-O-I. But it's pronounced Jenny. Jenny, yeah, that's, you just spelled Jenny, right? Yes, I did, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see it. I can see it. Yeah, I wanna know what the name is. If it's weird enough, I feel like maybe not. But, you know, this is a cousin,

and this is a far away country. I think it's fine. Oh, oh no, wait, wait, wait. I've discovered an intricacy to this question that I did not say out loud. I have, my cousin lives fairly far away in a different country, just named her newborn girl, the same name me and my husband had picked out for our baby boy, due in January. I also think that's still fine, just to be clear. But I had not, I had not accurately portrayed the, the, the situation. I am so excited to hear this name. Like, what is the name that they would like for a lady, but also for a boy? I am excited. Oh, but there's lots of us. That's why I'm curious. I would like it to be one that is not good for both Flula, did you know? Yeah, this is this is a weird bit of trivia

Jesse's girl, you know the song Jesse's girl. Yeah, I did she wishes that she was that girl and how can I find a woman like that? No, he wishes that he had you yeah, Jesse is sad because his good. Yeah, I know it. Yeah, he's and he's sick Yeah, but where's Jesse and And where did you go, Jesse? Yeah. Right. Jesse's girl was named Jesse. So it's Jesse and Jesse? Yeah, because Jesse's both a boy and a girl name.

And it's a little known fact that Jesse was dating a girl named Jesse. And that's Rico Kasek really wanted Jesse, but not the Jesse who was the one with the girl. But Jesse. He should girl name Jesse. He should very much change the title of the song or something, you know, like this is confusing. Which Jesse is. Right, I think that's why he just left it out

because it, because like, yeah, like I'm writing this song, but I don't want to like talk about Jesse and Jesse. So I'll just leave out Jesse, who is Jesse's girl. I wish that I had Jesse's girl who is also named Jesse. Jesse's girl. Her name is also Jesse. That's how it originally went. That was the original version of that song. And the rest of the cars were like, no, Rick, this is ludicrous. Yeah, stop it. Stop this immediately, Rick. Okay, I like this. Thank you, Hank. I feel like I have learned a thing now.

All right. Well, this podcast we're going to do now with Lula, a thing where we talk about who brought this podcast to the people. Oh. So this podcast is brought to you by Jesse's girl, Jesse. Jesse, who is Jesse's girl, really actually likes Jesse. And so Rick should probably just mind his own business.

I agree. Step away, Rick, from all of the Jesse's. Yes. Does Jesse, it's confusing. Yeah, yeah, just, I was gonna go deeper, but then I don't know what to say because it's just too many Jesse's.

So many Jesse's. It's a, it's a, a chorus of jessies. Yes. OK, who else brought the podcast to us? Oh, this was also brought to us by Crunchy Peanut Butter, something to put in your mouth and chew up and down and then swallow and enjoy as it goes down to your colon

and helps the snake with the laser. That's my guess. It's also brought to you by a giant bucket of melted white chocolate with a ladle in it. Oh, oh, that's very delicious. I like that. In the forest with a bear. Mmm, that's a very exciting thing. And also, this podcast, it's brought to you by the hopes and dreams of a tiny chipmunk. So, what did the hopes and dreams of a tiny chipmunk have,

have a tagline that they've asked us to include in the podcast? Oh, yeah, the tagline of the hopes and of the chipmunk was don't a don't don't go chasing waterfalls and also don't carbonate your water. All right. That's good to know what what what tiny chipmunks are really thinking about. So let's let's go ahead and do the Mars from news. The Mars from news. The news from Mars. And they have to leave.

Please, Mars from news. All right. Do you want to know some Mars news? Please share me all the Martian times. Well, the Mars Curiosity Rover just celebrated its fourth birthday on the surface of Mars. The team is now able to do in a week what used to take them a month because they have just gotten super good at running the system and refined a lot of the protocols. Curiosity for years later continues to do a bunch of amazing things on Mars.

And all of its equipment is still functioning, which is fantastic. Nothing has totally broken yet. Some of the wheels are a little bit worse for wear, but they have done a bunch of tests on a sort of sister rover here on Earth to make sure that they use the wheels in ways that will keep them alive through the end of the Curiosity Rover's mission.

And also, every year on its birthday, the day at which it has been on Mars for another year, Curiosity Rover will sing to itself the Happy Birthday song. And I think that's just adorable, that it sings the little Happy Birthday song out loud on the surface of Mars to itself with no one around. That is not sad in any way. That is very great and positive. I'm not depressed to hear about this. All right. DJ actually asked us a question if that happens in Earth years or Mars years, and it does indeed happen in Earth years. But DJ doesn't think that that makes any sense because it seems very odd, he says, to celebrate one's birthday on someone else's terms. Because the Mars Curiosity Rover is more Martian than Earth because it's lived on Mars longer than it lived on Earth. So yeah, it's a Mars native. Maybe it should be going by Mars years now. But it was born. You cannot forget your hometown. it was born on Earth, it was not like,

the two robots did not intercourse in this space and then poop out the curiosity. Too bad. But at what point do you become a native of a new land? Do you become a citizen of that place? I think that's an interesting and complicated question from DJ. And we're probably not going to tackle it here on this podcast. Do you have any news from AFC World in for us?

It is so funny that you have asked about AFC Wimbledon, a third tier English soccer team. But yes, I know all about the news of these guys. Are you ready? Yeah. Oh boy, such great news. AFC Wimbledon has officially played the first game in League 1 and it did not go super well, but it did go very dramatically which is nice because Lyle Taylor and Chris Welpdale, they both scored and at one point the darts were winning 2-1, but oh boy, so sad, Peter's burrow tied the game and then in the 93rd minute, brought it to 3-2 and Wimbledon, they just lost the game, they lost it, they lost

it, Hank, but why is it an even game though? Because it showed potential promise for the club's future. In their new league, I am so proud of all the A's, F's, and C's of Wimbledon. Nice work. Good job. Thank you. You are so well informed on AFC Wimbledon, Flula. I am in Encyclopedia Wimbledonica. This is lovely.

Thank you so much. And what, what a spectacular thing, I guess. That's too bad in the 93rd minute. That's like after the game should have ended. Oh, right. It's someone is injured and they are making spray paint on the ankle and then boom. Oh, it's very sad. I'm sorry. Sorry. I see. Well, good, good first try. So, AFC Wemble and is now down at the bottom of the league one table, but there's only been one gameplay, so it's not a big deal. No. Great! Well, this was lovely. Flula, what did we learn today on the podcast? I learned so many things. I learned what occurs when the snake goes up with the camera up your hole, and that's exciting. I learned about bubbles and waters,

and also the software operating system of satellites in space. What did you learn today? I learned, let's see, I learned that the holes and cheesets are for making necklaces with, or necklis eye, necklace eye, and then you have a weird feeling about chocolate and white chocolate and bears in the forest. Yeah.

And I learned that if there is a person coming up to your hot tub, that the most important thing that you need to do is look at their toes. Yeah, how immediately look at those toes. Check out those toes, you guys, because not only do you have the benefit of potentially seeing that a thing that you don't want to be in the same pool of boiling water with, but also, maybe if you look hard enough, they will feel maybe like they should not be hanging out in the hot tub. Haha, secret strategy, right?

This one. No, no. Antonio's. Ooh, I love it. Wow, Hank, I feel so much more intelligent. Yes! I think that we made the whole world more intelligent, Flula. Great work, thanks for listening. And thank all of you who are listening for listening. This podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins.

Our intern is Claudia Morales. Rosiana House Rojas helps out with the questions. Our theme music is from Gunnarola. If you want to send us questions for dear Hank and John, for Hank and John to answer, you can send them to Hank and John. And if you want to send us questions for dear Hank and John, for Hank and John to answer, you can send them to HankandJohnitgmail.com.

And as they say in our hometown, Flue, do you know what they say in our hometown? They say, zooo time is here. No, that sometimes. Okay, don't forget to be awesome as well this time. Don't DFTBbabies.