Dear Hank & John - 63: World Queen

Episode Date: September 19, 2016

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more!

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or is I for the Think of it Dear John and Hank? It's a comedy podcast where me, Hank Green, and my brother John, we answer your questions, give you a dubious advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. The first thing that I say on this podcast after the intro is John, how are you doing? I'm doing wonderfully and I'll tell you why. It's a very simple thing, but it's a huge deal. Hank, for the first time in the history of our podcast,

last week we made no major errors. Like we got no, we got no correction emails. We got some correction emails from people pointing out that the song that devil went down to Georgia is not actually about accountants, but I thought that was clear in context. So I think that we technically know corrections, no flaws, a flawless performance last week from both Hank and John. I can guarantee you one thing that won't happen again this week.

Oh no, no, no, definitely not. We're going to do our best to make as many mistakes as possible. You know, John, I got a correction on Twitter. Oh, no. Who said that I mispronounced La Croix, but in fact, I did not. Oh. Oddly enough.

So I also thought that La Croix was pronounced La Croix because it's got all those extra letters in it, so I figured that it was French. But in fact, La Croix is made in America by the St. Croix River, which is spelled C-R-O-I-X, and is pronounced Croix. So, yep, it's a marry, it's not French, and they say on the website, it says right there, it's pronounced La Croix, like, enjoy, apparently. Oh, that's adorable. And wonderful news, because it means that I still, I get to read an actual short poem today

instead of a short poem of correction, which I'm very excited about. All right, do it. All right, Hank, I thought I'd read a little bit of a dark poem, but you know, this is a comedy podcast about death. So here's complete destruction by William Carlos Williams. Ha ha.

It was an icy day. We buried the cat, then took her box, and set fire to it in the backyard. Those fleas that escaped, earth and fire, died by the cold. Complete destruction by William Carlos Williams. You know, John, I have some trivia about William Carlos Williams to get us started.

I probably know it. Was it that he was a physician and often wrote his poems on prescription pads? Nope. It is about that he was a physician and often wrote his poems on prescription pads. Nope. Nope It is about how he was a physician He believed and he prescribed in addition to prescribing poems he prescribed yogurt baths. Well Follow-up point while William Carlos Williams was probably wrong about yogurt baths He was right about yogurt lots of probiotics or at least some yogurt has probiotics in it. Yeah, in fact, in fact, he would also, he would often recommend that people would get yogurt

enemas. Oh boy, okay, let's move on to some questions from our listeners. The thing that I'm doing right now, John, is making up fake stuff so that people have stuff to give us corrections on. I thought that she would catch on to that. so that people have stuff to give us corrections. I thought that she would catch on to that. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, but you can't correct yourself, mid-pod. It ruins it. Right.

Also, people who stopped listening the moment you said yogurt enemas are now going to walk around for the rest of their lives and be like, you know that guy who wrote the red wheelbarrow? He won't believe this, but. Yeah, I guess we can't, I guess. I thought that it was completely unbelievable, but you never know. No, I totally bought it because, you know, like, 20th century medicine, especially pre-World

War II was bananas, sometimes literally. Well, John, before we get to the questions, I just want to say the word LaCroix a couple more times in an effort to maybe clue in LaCroix a couple more times in an effort to maybe clue in LaCroix that there might be a podcast interested in sponsorship, though I'll be honest while I have brand affinity for LaCroix, and I would not, for example, work with Dessani Sparkling Water because like, you can't get in on this thing, I'm sorry, you know, major cola brands. This is going to have to be a separate thing that you will not, and in fact, there's Designy Sparkling Water at my office right now.

I'm really angry about it, but Polar, that would also be fine. Seagrames, totally done with that. Any of you guys wanna reach out, I'm a big Sparkling Water fan, and I think it's all about, you know, the fact that sugar is gonna kill you. If yeah, it's just a dangerous substance

that is very addictive, and that I love. I agree with you almost a hundred percent Hank. The only thing I disagree with is that, like that I have very few, almost a hundred percent Hank, the only thing I disagree with is that, like, I think there are some configurations of sugar that can actually, of course, be really helpful. You know, there are times when you need those, those great simple carbohydrates and I think dismissing that entirely,

you know, dismisses the nutritional value of Snickers bars and that's offensive to me personally. You know, John, ah, I see. I see what you're saying here. Well, I think that maybe we should leave this conversation up to Dr. Aaron Carroll at healthcaretriage. YouTube.com slash healthcaretriage we're just leveraging things to promote more things. We're never gonna get to the questions.

Our constant begging for corporate sponsorship is the most reprehensible part of this podcast and that's really saying something. All right, John, I got a question from Emma who asks, dear Hank and John, my birthday was a few days ago and I got a bunch of great shirts from dftba.com. Oh Emma, you know how to get a question answered. You know how to get a question answered on dear Hank and John, don't you? But Emma continues. However, I need some advice. What is the appropriate etiquette when people are singing happy birthday to you? Do you smile and nod?

Do you sing along and sing happy birthday to yourself? Or do you just sit there? I have no idea what to do to avoid the awkward birthday scenario. Any advice even dubious is welcome. All right, Hank. When it comes to this stuff and also so much other stuff, I look to the Queen of England because like every time the Queen of England appears in public, it's sort of similar to what it's like on your birthday when people are singing happy birthday to you. Like everybody's paying a lot of attention to the Queen of England.

Everybody's always singing a song that has her name in it called God Save the Queen. And the way that she responds is smiling, the occasional wave. So I think when people are singing you happy birthday, you just smile, you listen, you're attentive, you try to make eye contact with as many people as possible, but not in a creepy way. And then at an opportune moment,

maybe when they say your name in the happy birthday song, you know, happy birthday to Emma. That's when you go for the just the real relaxed queen wave. Just a sit in there. I don't you just like, I'm doing it right now. You can't see me, but I got. I was doing it too, honestly. Freaking amazing queen of Elizabeth Ways.

I couldn't, I couldn't not as you were saying it. We're just John and I are sitting in different parts of America right now, making our hands do dumb stuff. Um, I, No, there's nothing dumb about the Queen Wave. I apologize, John. I apologize for insulting the Queen Wave. Um, I know that you are a big fan of the Queen Wave and that you have a poster on your wall that says,

the Queen Wave, and it's just the Queen's hand, and it's framed, and it's got like a thousand dollar frame around it, uh, and, and, and he used to hang in a gallery of queen waves and uh... and i know it's a big deal in your life but so i so i deeply about i mean i know you're trying to create a world in which people will correct us but that everything you just said is true i am like a proper monarchist i i don't think it's adequate just for the queen to be seen as the head of state.

I think the queen should be the queen of the world. Like I think she should be the person who decides what is done in the world at all times. Well, I honestly think that it would be pretty cool to have a world royal. And the queen is as close to half for sure. But just not necessarily somebody who makes decisions, but somebody that we're all just sort of like, therefore, and we're like, you know, that's a cool thing that we've got

a world queen, and they have this, you know, sort of like a fantastic, large stipend, but not sort of like any larger than any other rich person. But we all sort of see them as, you know, the royalty. I think that's a good idea, and I would like to nominate my wife. Oh, that's very sweet, but unfortunately that job is already taken by the great Queen Elizabeth II

and stop trying to dethrone her. She is the greatest monarch of our time or anytime. She's pretty great, She's pretty great. A little concern that we've gotten somewhat away from the question. Right. Well, we all do this. Next time you're at a birthday party with someone that you respect and think is that they're comfortable in every situation. Just watch them and see what they do.

Because I don't even know. I'm just like, I'd like focus on the cake, focus on the cake, focus on the cake. Yeah, but you don't sing along to your own birthday song. No, there's the queen sing, God save the queen, cause that would be funny. I don't know if the queen sings along with it. Just like, I don't know if the queen sings along with it. Cause I've kinda set myself up rhetorically

during this bit to be an expert. To make it seem like I know a lot about the queen. When in fact, the major things I know about her are that she is English and that she is old. And that a bunch of people seem to really like her. All right, John, do you want to, I honestly don't have any other, I just wanted to do the DFTBA call at John. See all the reason I've got her answer.

You know what, you know what, you can get at dftba.com, Hank, that I keep meaning to mention, is AFC Wimbledon scarves that are genuinely awesome and the money, the royalties from the scarves go to AFC Wimbledon and they're only like $10 or something. So yeah, while we're selling out, go to dftba.com, get an AFC Wimbledon scarf. Okay, we have another question this and comes from Tim

who writes, dear John and Hank, when I recently went to a performance by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, I immediately realized that the majority of the people there were senior citizens. I'm currently 19, which means there were few people of my age attending the concert. My question is, what kind of music do you think

those currently in their teens will be listening to in the future? Will we be seeing an elderly Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, or even Hank Green performing at Carnegie Hall in the distant future? Will people listen to classical music in 2066? Oh, well, I would be happy to play Carnegie Hall in 2066, and in fact, I would like to retort a Carnegie Hall right now and say, can I book a date sometime in 2066? Do you have anything available? And is it possible I could lock in a rate right now?

I mean, let's face it, Hank, the reason, the main reason it would be awesome for you to play Carnegie Hall in 2066 is that it would mean that you're still alive. It would only be 86. There's pretty good chance of you 1186. I don't know that I'll be able to like- Oh, you're such an optimist. I don't know that I'll be able to like. Oh, you're such an optimist. I don't know if I'll be able to stand up in front of a room for an hour and not poop my pants, but I'll be alive. Just like play one song and be like,

I'll be right back, young girls. Okay. You know, young, young 50 year olds and 60 year olds. I like this question. I gotta go take care of some business. I like this question because I, of course, wondered this when I was a teenager. And now I find myself 20 years removed from teenagerness.

And what has happened in our case, Hank, is that the bands that we thought were too, like cool and progressive and important to ever be considered classic rock or oldies, none the less are now oldies. Like, we are now as far removed from Nirvana's Nevermind as teenage me was from Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. That is something else.

So what happens is that the music you like gets normalized and it starts playing in grocery stores and a new generation of old people will like classical music in 20 years and 40 years and 60 years because I don't think people like classical music because it was popular when they were young, because it wasn't. I think they like classical music because as they get older, they just value and treasure it more on average.

That's my guess anyway. Yeah, I mean, I think that it takes a certain amount of exposure and also patients to enjoy classical music in a fast-paced world where there's lots of new music always coming out. And I have found myself enjoying classical music more. Still not listening to classical music stations or anything, but I can see myself in 30 years doing it, and I listen to jazz more.

And I also think that we are all very lucky, though it might seem a little bit unpleasant, you know, that moment when you hear 21 pilots on the oldies station is when you know that, you know, at least you didn't die, you might be old now, but what's the alternative? You know, alternative is that you didn't make it this far. At least you made it to be becoming oldie. Oh, that's gonna be something.

I don't know. It's, it's, there's no, there's no easy way to get old, though, Hank. It's just, it's, it's an undignified process. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, yes, but I think that you can, you can, there is a place to find dignity. There are lots of dignified old people.

Yeah, I'm just saying for me, I suspect that it's gonna, I'm gonna whack. I don't have a ton of dignity as it is. I'm not going into middle age with like, you know, overwhelming amounts of dignity, so I'm a little concerned. Well, I think it's something you might develop. You might not have dignity right now, John,

but maybe it's something that you're gonna have in the future, right? Maybe. What about you? No, I'll keep my fingers crossed. Let's move on to another question. I'll also keep my fingers crossed for your dignity, John. This one is from Haley, who asks,

Dear Hank and John, what food group do mushrooms fall into? They don't seem like they would be fruits or vegetables, but then I looked up in the dictionary, the definition of a vegetable, and it claims that all plants used as food are vegetables which would make fruits also vegetables. Basically, I'm very confused in hoping

that you can clear some things up for me. What do you think, John? Yeah, no, this is a common question. Oh, for the answer, of course, is that mushrooms are not food. That's definitely not true. Oh, no, it is. You can eat mushrooms in the same sense that you can eat legos if you want to, but it doesn't make it food.

Well, the thing that makes mushrooms food is that they contain calories. You could just eat mushrooms and survive. I'm maybe not forever, but for longer than if you were just eating legos. I think you could probably live for a few months on legos. I'd like to see some science on how long you could live on legos. I think you need a new pair of teeth pretty quick. Or maybe a new colon. Did I say pair of teeth pretty quick. Or maybe a new colon. Maybe a new colon.

Did I say pair of teeth? Okay, I didn't pick the best non-food item, I'll admit. Okay? Like, obviously, if I could go back and pick a better example of a non-food item, I would, like, for instance, notebook paper would have been better because that is more easily digestible than Lego's. Yeah, you can at least stick it with Legos. Okay, we're gonna say Legos have calories.

You could eat them and they would provide some level of sustenance for some period of time. Well, and that is a hill that I am ready to fight and die. You know, it depends on the Legos. John, if it's been sitting in a box for a long time and maybe there are some bugs hiding in the little nooks and crannies of the Legos, there may be some calories in Legos.

But I think if you water it down enough, it'll get mushy. But let's get back to Haley's question. Hank, are mushrooms, vegetables, or fruits, or is this all a construct and none of it actually matters? Well, yeah, I mean, it depends on who you ask. It is, of course, all a construct and none of it really matters, it really matters, which is the definition of life on Earth here as a human. But mushrooms, they are their own thing, as you say, according to the dictionary,

any plant that you can eat is, quote, a vegetable. But mushrooms are not plants, they are fun guy. They are a whole different part of the biological tree. They broke off from the rest of all like animals. They broke off from animals after we broke off from plants. So we are more closely related to funguses than we are to plants. But I did look this up in the USDA,

which decides to some, what is a, you know, count as like the food group, you know, is what we're talking about. We're not talking about like biological classifications. We're talking about food groups. The USDA says that they are a vegetable, that they, that eating mushrooms falls into your fruits and vegetable category for the day. And this is because the USDA stands for U.S. Department of Agriculture. And there is a department of the United States government that is responsible for deciding

what we eat. And they do not represent Americans, they represent Americans who grow food. And I think this is extremely strange that it is basically, this is an organization that is out for the, basically, to cater to the interests of farmers, and they are telling people what to eat, not for the health of the people, but for the health of the agriculture industry. This is very weird, and so they put it, you know, they, like, things like, you know, you're drinking like orange juice, and it tells you that it's a certain number of servings of fruit. Those servings of fruit are about sales of oranges, not about the personal health of the individual.

It is ludicrous and something that infuriates me whenever I see people talk about servings of fruits and vegetables. But yes, the fungi are regulated by the USDA and they were like put us in there somewhere. People have to like have a reason to eat mushrooms and they go in their roots and vegetables because they serve a lot of the same purpose. They're healthy, they're low calorie, they have high fiber and they have a lot of vitamins

and minerals, they're very good for you. And in case anyone was wondering, John and I completely disagree about this and they are delicious. I love mushrooms. I don't love all mushrooms. It tastes like the dirt from which they came. I'm not a huge fan of those like button ones that they like slice up on the pizzas.

I don't love those ones, but there's so many different kinds of mushrooms with so many different kinds of flavors and a really great meat alternative as well because they also have a lot of protein. But there, it's just a great food. They're a great food and don't dis mushrooms, John. But you can dis the USDA, and I will.

I just want to clarify one thing, Hank, which is that not all of the dietary guidelines released by the government are released by the USDA. There are now, for instance, there's the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, which you can find there, dietary guidelines at health.gov. Oh, well, look at you. That feels like a really good corporate sponsor there, John health.gov seems like something that we shouldn't be ashamed of.

Oh, man, if health.gov would just send me 378 healthy bodies, that would be amazing. It's just like popping to one, get it really unhealthy, pop it to the next one, get that one really unhealthy. You got a lot of stickers bars to go through, John. Well, how do you eat 378 Snickers bars in two days? Well, I'll tell you what, the key is being able to inhabit 14 bodies each day.

You gotta, yeah, you need a lot more Snickers bars now that you have 378 human bodies to go through. All right, Hank, I have another question. This one comes from Brendan, who asks, why do eyebrows matter so much to people? I mean, they're literally just little strips of body hair above your eyes, and so many people are obsessed with them. I just don't understand why they matter so much.

Hank, you might guess why I wanted to ask this question. It's because lots of people in comments of our YouTube videos are talking about my eyebrows and how they are reportedly thinning, and it's super annoying. And it reminds me that if I were a woman on the internet instead of a man, I would be subjected to constant endless analyses of my physical body in ways that I would find completely destructive and would make it impossible for me to continue making things on the internet.

So, yeah, that's totally why I'm asking this question. I knew nothing about, I had never thought about your eyebrows until I watched that video, and then I was like, spent the, like, because I like, looked at the comments, people talked about your eyebrows,

and I look at a dry rose, and I'm like, hey, they're kind of weird. And then I looked at my video, and I was like, my eyebrows are kind of weird, dude, they're pretty far apart. We got pretty far apart eyebrows, John.

We got that thing going where eyebrows are pretty far apart. Right, and then you start to get in this cycle of panic where you're like, oh, that's it, my career is over. My eyebrows are further apart than they used to be and the boy, you know, I'm not like. How do you wax? How do you wax eyebrows? Someone get me a candle.

How does this work? No, I do. So I do pull my eyebrow hair out sometimes compulsively. It's part of the OCD thing that I have. But I haven't lately. It's been pretty well controlled, actually. So it's curious to me that now is the time that it's coming up. But I don't know why they matter so much to people.

Brendan, except that I think it frames the eyes for people and people like looking at eyes. That's where people are usually looking. They're looking at the thing that's looking at them. And so the eyebrows are sort of in your peripheral vision if you're staring intently into someone's eyes. So that's my at them, and this is the eyebrows are sort of in your peripheral vision if you're staring intently into someone's eyes. So that's my theory about it, but I don't know, man. I also feel like eyebrows are a little overrated.

Yeah, I mean, faces are nice when we like them. And it is interesting that we have eyebrows at all. They seem to be not just physically functional, but also socially functional. It's one of the adaptations that we have that seems clear that it is a thing that we have for to help communication and so to express emotion and even communicate nonverbaly or over long distances.

And so we develop these things to increase our ability to read the cues of other humans, which helped us be humans. And that's weird. That's a cool thing that we have these structures on our faces that if you like took the amount of context, would be quite weird. It's just this fuzzy thing that sits on top of your brow line and it's this little caterpillars that you got up there. That's weird, that's weird. Just like, you know, how many of them, if you took it up context of our body parts are weird, like one of the things that I find most terrifying

in the world, John is thinking about animals with human hands on them instead of having feet. So like if you think about like a horse with human hands, it's just like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Like if human hands are kind of terrifying when they're anywhere except on a human body. Yeah, but, you know, it's all a construct and I wish that we didn't analyze ourselves

so harshly, John, as people. I do occasionally have these moments, I don't know if you have these moments, where I'm able to zoom out and see human bodies like the way other animals might see them. Or at least in a way that doesn't feel like human to me. And I'm always just like, look at these ludicrous bodies and these weird people obsessing over them.

Like they're so concerned with their bodies. It's amazing. Yeah, I do have those moments. It's like when you say a word long enough and you're like, this word doesn't actually, it's not a word. It's like if you can get into the right mind, you're like, that is a weird shape for a thing to be. Look at people, they're so weird. They are weird.

And make it hairless things. Yeah, I think it's mostly our lack of fur that I find so distressing. We're very weird-looking. Just, you know, if you compare us to all the other apes, we're by far the weirdest ones. Like, apes must look at us. Like, I bet like an orangutan looks at chimpanzee

and is like, yeah, I get it. I get it, you're not bad. And then a orangutan looks at a human and is just like, what is going on with you, man? What is this? What did you do? What happened? You're kind of disgusting. Are you okay, dude?

You need to, like, do you feel that? Did you feel that? Some kind of original sin? Don't forget this. Yes. Ah. All right, this question is from Paul John, who asked, dear Hankin John John, who asked dear Hank and John,

there are hand soaps and there are facial soaps. Is it really necessary that I have both? I think that I watched my hands and face a healthy amount and always use one or the other. I feel like having two is unnecessary. Does it really matter which one I use? Is there any real evidence for having different soaps for different body parts?

Hank, I'm gonna be honest with you and say that this question falls way out of my fields of expertise. Well, it is different. I'll say that those soaps are different. They are different things. Soap, but it's very basic, is just a detergent agent. If you just have the cheapest off the shelf, like dish soap, it's just detergent. And that, you know, like binds up and breaks stuff

and it makes it easier to wash oils in particular off of things, but also whether it's just anything. And that's like what soap used to be. And we have added things to soap, and that's those things that we add make them more expensive. And so the basic idea is that hand soap

is a more primitive, better than mine, I'll be the right word, primitive kind of soap that, you know, your hands are pretty tough and they can handle it. But face soap might have the, like, less of the detergent. It might have more of some things like conditioners that sort of replace the oils that they might wash away from your face and make your face not feel all dry and gross. And that's obviously the same thing with shampoo. It has detergent to get rid of all the stuff, but then it actually replaces some of the stuff

that it got rid of with some basically conditioning agents that are in a way, they're like a new kind of oil that you are putting back into your hair to replace the oil that you just stripped away. And there's also all kinds of other stuff you know you might have moisturizers you might have like sudsing compounds that make it look sudsier and so you can like feel it and like enjoy the sudsie feeling which doesn't actually have anything to do with the soapiness. The soap chemistry is fascinating and there are lots with the soapiness. Soap chemistry is fascinating. And there are lots, there's lots that go into the different kinds of soaps that we have, which is why face soap,

which is trying to be more careful with your skin, might be much more expensive than a hand soap. Also, of course, the marketing that goes into that is expensive as well. So there is a difference, but if you wash your face with hand soap and that doesn't bother you, don't spend extra money on face soap. And certainly do not wash your hands with face soap unless you have really sensitive skin because that's

just gonna put a whole right in your bank account. It's gonna be a polio pocket for the rest of your life. So, that was my answer. I've had a lot of coffee today, John. Can I basically do whatever feels good when it comes to soap? You know, John, do whatever feels good when it comes to soap. That's good to hear. Cause I have often wondered about that and worried about that.

Like am I doing some damage to my skin? And it's good to hear that if it feels all right, I probably am all right. And it's nice to hear that from a beauty expert like yourself, Hank. The next question comes from Jethro, who asks, dear John and Hank, a friend of a friend believes the earth is flat.

They are clearly wrong, strong agree, but I wanna know what you guys think. How can I best argue against them when they say science and politicians are lying to them? They also say they should be allowed to believe whatever they want and who am I to stop them? Am I right to want other people not to be wrong? Oh, how awesome. this seems to me a question

that is not really about whether the earth is flat, but instead about this weird post-fact world that we are living in, where memes have taken on a kind of truth to them that is totally disconnected from what I think of as reality. Yes. This is an interesting question because there's the first part,

which is like how can I argue with this person who clearly just wants to argue and that's their main goal and having the saluted Chris belief, which don't. And then the other one is like, how do I come to terms with the fact that being wrong, like, isn't there just something wrong with being wrong? And can't we agree on that?

Right. Right. Right. This idea that people say, well, I should be allowed to believe whatever I want, it's very difficult to disagree with that. I totally agree with you. Like, don't get an argument with people who just say things to be provocative. Like I used to work with someone who would regularly say that Abraham Lincoln was the worst American president.

And there's only one reason to say that, right, which is to try to start an argument. You know, anytime anybody would bring up the 19th century, they would be like, well, as you know, Abraham Lincoln was the worst American president. You know, and that's just like a dot, dot, dot. And then you have to be like, you know what, I mean, he wasn't, he wasn't the worst. It's probably, probably in the top two, probably top one.

Anyway, as you can tell, I'm still a little annoyed about that. But I just, it is, it's really difficult. You can't engage with people. I don't think it's effective to engage with people when they're merely being provocateurs because of the never wrestle with a pig axiom. You know, you get dirty and besides the pig likes it.

The problem is that we seem to be living in this time where both wrestling with the pig and not wrestling with the pig are equally ineffective and I feel totally powerless and clueless about how we're supposed to be proceeding as people who believe in science and people who believe in facts. And I just feel like we've become unmoored from what I think of as like fundamental reality and it freaks me out and I don't know what to do about it.

Yeah, I mean, there's this great thing that happened called the Enlightenment, where we kind of all finally agreed that there was a way to get to objective knowledge and had a path to that. And it's almost like that there's at the moment some kind of anti-enlightenment happening. And I agree that- Right, it's more than anti-intellectualism, right? It goes deeper than anti-intellectualism. Claiming the Earth is flat is not just a rejection of the sort of like,

intellectual elite. It's a rejection of fairly fundamental, observable knowledge. And it's imagining a world in which so many people are lying to you. That's what seems so weird to me about it. Well, I mean, the thing, like, flat-arthers honestly don't bother me because there aren't very many of them. And it's clearly ludicrous, but like the, you know, people who deny the existence of global warming bother me. Like that, that, it's just like,

this is a thing that we are going to have to deal with as a species and the longer we argue about whether it exists, the less we're going to be able to do. And I think that there are a number of, like, you know, it's almost as if data has become the enemy of the enlightenment, where there is so much data now that there will always be a study saying something that is, you know, contrary to the big body, biggest body of evidence. And so you can latch onto those individual points. You know, and I will say that like I don't think science has the solution for every problem.

I think that there are lots of good reasons to have other ways to examine the world. But I, you know, I am very, you know, it's like a legitimate worry that I have right now and it stresses me out. This, you know, is- Oh yeah, no, it stresses me out too. I also think that people end up not having these conversations across belief systems in ways that are really problematic.

When we're talking about climate change being real, which it is, and it's inarguable that it's real, and it's inarguable that humans are causing it, we are 95% preaching to the choir, right? Like, we are so siloed. One of the shocking responses to the Nerd fighter census at least to me is that there are you know our tens of thousands of people who filled out this census and in the question who do you plan to vote for for president Hillary Clinton is overwhelmingly in first place Gary Johnson is in second place Jill Stein is in third place, and Donald Trump got 4% support so far

and that's within people who identify as nerd fighters. I mean, that level of disconnect, like that means that what I have always thought of as like a fairly inclusive community that's fairly representative of American life within certain age demographics really isn't at all. Yeah, the other thing is that 3% of those 4% said that they were begrudgingly supporting Donald Trump because they saw him as the lesser of two evils.

Only 1% of our community is enthusiastic in their support for Donald Trump. And yet, you know, 30% of likely voters are. And that is 40, 45% of likely voters according to a poll that came out today. It's very, it's a very weird time. And I agree with you, Hank, that data has in some ways become the enemy of science because it's so easy to cherry pick data now. And it's really sad. And there's also I think I think something about the internet and I worry that we feed

into this a little bit. Leads everybody to feel like they can become experts in something in 10 to 12 minutes. And I worry sometimes that that that we feed that belief even though we try to be pretty careful, because the belief itself seems to me really, really destructive and really dangerous, because then you've got people who say, well, I know climate science is wrong, because this person says it's wrong,

and you know, here are two studies, and that's that. It's really weird. It's such a weird weird stressful time in American political life. And, you know, we are going to you and I personally like are much less at risk from this stuff than the people who are most in need of the protection of a government. And yeah, so we're coming at this from a very privileged place, but it is scary, I think, no matter who you are. Yeah, so Jethro, I think that the answer to your question is that you are right to want

other people to not be wrong, but that we do not know how to get the world to a place where we can have those conversations effectively. Oh, God, no, we really don't. And let's just have silence for the next 45 seconds while we mourn. You really messed up our groove there, Jethro. We're having a good time. Today's podcast is brought to you by The Darkness. The Darkness in Croaching.

Today's podcast is also brought to you by Mushrooms. They are not a vegetable, not a fruit, not even a plant, but they are a vegetable. That's actually a really good tagline for mushrooms, mushrooms, not a vegetable, not a fruit, just a vegetable. And of course today's podcast is also brought to you by the Queen Wave, the Queen Wave, the number one way to make sure that people understand that you appreciate the happy birthday song. And finally, this podcast is brought to you by 378 Healthy Human Bodies, delivered straight to your door from Health.gov. And poorhealth.gov, they're trying, they're trying.

That's what they do, right? I sort of feel like we sort of ourselves out of the darkness from Jethra's question, but only sort of, let's move on to another question. I'm sorry. This question comes from Sehiccha, who writes, dear John and Hank, I'm currently in the process of flying to medical school.

And like many people I know, I've had negative experiences with healthcare providers in the US. It's alarmingly common for patients to feel dehumanized, dismissed and ignored. I know both of you have to feel dehumanized, dismissed, and ignored. I know both of you have spoken about your experiences with chronic illness, and John has talked about his experience as a hospital chaplain.

What ways have you seen healthcare professionals provide compassionate care? I should say that while I have had some negative experiences with my care, definitely, I've also had a lot of really, really positive ones. I have an awesome doctor, and I've had a few great ER visits. My neurologist, when I had viral meningitis, was just amazing. Just like, let us now pause to give thanks for my amazing neurologist when I had meningitis. I think usually when I've had

not great care, and I don't know how you feel about this Hank, but I usually feel like it's because it's a hard job. Like providing medical care is really, really hard, and on a second-by-second basis, it's almost impossible to remember that each of these people, when you're going from person to person to person, that each of these people is under a tremendous amount

of stress that they're having a really difficult day in their lives and to try to be as patient and careful as you need to be is really, really hard. And I think everybody's going to fail at it sometimes. It's just, you know, the important thing I think is remembering that, yeah, that these are human beings and that the care that you're providing, the medical side of it is important, but making sure that people understand that they feel safe,

that they know what's happening, that's as important as the medical part, I think, in a lot of cases. And I feel like, I don't know if this is accurate, but like in my experience with doctors, I feel like there is training that goes on to help them with this stuff, to get better at it and to get to know. Yeah, but it's not always adequate training.

Like I remember when I was a hospital in Japan, I remember a doctor pulled me out of a room with a family and she was very young doctor. And she was like, I can't do this. And I was like, excuse me. And she was like, I can't talk to them right now. And I was like, what do you mean? And she was like, can you just tell them? And I was like, no. Like, you have not a doctor. I was like, I literally, I literally can't because of the law. We're going to have to like, we're gonna have to like,

man up and do this together. Right. Yeah, I mean, I do, I do see it as like, there's a very weird thing being a doctor. It's so hard. You go through, you go through so much education so that you can be a good doctor. And then you are also expected to provide

excellent customer support. And those are different skill sets. And it can often be like, did I spend all of this time becoming, you know, like becoming this like a doctor in order to get yelled at by someone, because I made a mistake, which I'm going to do sometimes. Right. Yeah. there's the like, there's the organic chemistry side of being a doctor or any healthcare professional, really. And then there's the side where you just, yeah,

I mean, that stuff is so stressful. Ah, yeah, anyway, thank you for applying to medical school. We wish you luck, Hank and I would both be terrible doctors. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I think as long as you're thinking about it, then that's a really good sign. And my experience is having, I've also had really great doctors and have very few nasty things to say about them. But I think that that is also true

of most of the interactions I have in my life. So I think that bad you know, like bad experiences tend to stick out in people's heads. And then there are some people who have lots of bad experiences because they themselves are just very difficult people to work with. And that is not not a thing. That is also true. Although it should also be noted that this is another place where being white and male is provably. Yeah.

That is true. That is true. Easier. That is true. And living in an affluent community where there is a lot of resources to support good hospitals with doctors who want to live in those communities. And it is a world of inequality. And I'm on the good side of that curve.

Yeah. It is a very deep systemic thing in equality and it's like really hard to even like acknowledge or think about all the different ways that it factors into a human life. But I definitely feel that when I am at the hospital, I definitely feel aware of it when I'm at the hospital. Hank, I wanted to get to one last question, because it's just very important, before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

This question comes from Sarah, and she writes, dear John and Hank, over the years I've participated in many activities and sports that make me feel nervous prior to the activities, and along with feeling nervous, I always have to poop. It's not just the gut-clenching feeling, I'll actually have to make a trip to the bathroom.

Several of my friends have also agreed that they get the nervous poops prior to an event, so I was wondering if you knew why this is. I like this question, and I like Sarah, because she had the courage to ask it. Not even anonymously, though Sarah's pretty anonymous. Well, but I mean, she says that she talks to her friends about it, where she's just like, do you guys get the nervous poops? Yeah, I do, by the way, Sarah.

This is a real thing. This is a very, very real thing. And it seems to be a side effect of adrenaline. It makes you have to pee, it makes you have to poop. And people will make, like talk about reasons why this is a good thing if you're in a fight or flight situation. No, it's not good at all. I don't agree.

I never, never do I want, yeah, I don't want to have another thing to start worrying about if I'm about to like eat my tiger. Totally agree. And do you think it's not going to eat me this because I got a little poop on my leg? No, it's going to eat me. I'm food. Yeah, no, I totally agree with you. I think that there's absolutely no evolutionary advantage in pooping the moment before you get attacked by a grizzly bear. There is this thing called the gut brain axis

that I am totally fascinated by, where your gastrointestinal tract and your brain actually talk a lot to each other. A lot more than other parts of your body talk to your brain in many cases. And part of that also is that the bacteria in your gastrointestinal tract, I've been reading this great book called

I contain multitudes that talks a lot about this. The bacteria in your gastrointestinal tract like give off different chemicals and different signs. And so it may also be partly that that when you get anxious, the gut brain access starts firing signals of anxiety back and forth until suddenly you have to poop. But it's okay, it's normal.

And I just hope for your sake that it doesn't interfere with your sports or other activities. Yeah. with your sports or other activities. Yeah. The traditional medical explanation for this is that when adrenaline starts running your body moves resources away from your core and into your limbs which are necessary for fighting and running and stuff. And also that's good for sports. But and that means that it is moving resources away

from your digestive system and it might think like,, oh, like, let's just abandon all of this and maybe things relax. But also, there's some amount, I think, of cramping that happens. So it's not just like that all your sphincter's relax. It's all about, like, there's like some peristalsis waves of muscle contractions going down your colon being like, okay, let's empty this out because we're not going to deal with it. We don't want to deal with this right now. We want to deal with other things.

There's gonna be other things to deal with, so let's just stop digesting right now, get rid of everything in the digestive system, and not worry about that. You're making me a little nervous just by talking about this. Do you not like the word parasitosis? Because I love it.

Such a fun word. That might be the problem. It's more that I don't like imagining, I don't really like imagining what's happening on the inside of me very much. I find it deeply threatening to my sense of self. I have to have. So with that said, let's move on to the news from Mars.

They have seen Wimbledon. What's the news from Mars this week? Right. If you, I don't know if you've seen, if you follow me on Twitter or Tumblr, you probably have. Curiosity has sent back some images as it has begun to traverse away from the ancient lake bed that it has been hanging out and into the mountains surrounding that lake bed.

And as it has done that, the topography has become much more interesting and much cooler in the photographs that it's sending back have been gorgeous. And they just released a few of these that they did some good post production on showing not just really cool geographic landscapes and like some vistas and basically it looks a lot like sort of old like 1870s photographs of the American Southwest but also that like taking close-up shots of cliff faces that are very clearly layer after layer after layer like hundreds of layers of sediment laid down likely either in a lake-like situation

or in a stream situation. And that just, it isn't like, the more time we spend on Mars, the more it's like, oh, we thought that this was a place where there's no water, no life, but for a long time, there was a lot of water on the surface of Mars, and the more time we spend there and the more we see it, and also what that leads to is scientific interest, for sure,

but also the action of water in a geological system is also just aesthetically really pleasing, and even after that water has been gone for a long, long time, the forms that were left by that water spending time on the surface of the planet, doing cool things remains just beautiful. And so as much as this news is not about the science of Mars, it's just about the aesthetics of Mars,

I think everybody should look at those pictures because it's wonderful. It's wonderful to have such a high quality set of imaging systems on the surface of Mars right now and also in such a geographically diverse and interesting place on the surface of Mars as well. Well, I have to say that I completely agree with you about how aesthetically beautiful it is to see the remnants of water's work on Earth or stone. So for once, I'm pretty psyched to check out these Mars pictures, but I will emphasize that it's easy to take them without putting any human beings on Mars at least until 2028 or later. And there's an article in the Wall Street Journal right now that compares these photographs to photographs from Timothy H. O'Sullivan, the 19th century

photographer. He might also have been a philosophy. Art all photographers, philosophers of a kind. Well, the news from the news from AFC Wimbledon somewhat less aesthetically beautiful. Heartbreaking gut wrenching three two lost to ship the old United last week. You know, some encouraging news. This new player, Dom Polion, Scordagol, Tom Elliott, came on in the second half and scored a goal, but the Don's defense continues to let in too many goals and playing from behind too often, giving up leads too often. We've found all the major ways to lose. Right now, not at the very bottom where

we were after the first couple games, So I guess that's good news. But with five points after seven games, AFC Wimbledon are 21st, which is the last relegation spot, or the first relegation spot. So if the season were to end today, they would be relegated back to League 2. Side note, a semi-related thing that would be,

will be of some interest to AFC Wimbledon fans. The franchise currently playing in Milton Keynes has played seven games and has only eight points. So is currently sitting in 15th place in League 1. Not too terribly far from AFC Wimbledon, Swindon Town, a team that used to play FIFA as for a long time is in 16th, also having a difficult season in League 1. So it's been a long seven games, but hopefully, I don't know. Yeah, we'll see. The season is long. I get to go to a game soon. I'm

excited about that. Good. I'm also excited about that and and the chances of it being a really fantastic experience though John seem low. Oh wait, what's that? I'm just saying that like you're probably gonna go watch your your team lose. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah I mean statistically that is probably what's going to happen, but you never know Anything is possible and I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. All right. Well, John, thank you for the news from AFC Wilmilton. What did we learn today? We learned that Abraham Lincoln was America's worst president is the kind of thing that you say if you want to start an argument.

We learned that humans are ugly naked apes because of original sin. I don't think that's actually what we learned. We learned that old people will always like classical music. And we learned that of course William Carlos Williams was a big proponent of taking baths in yogurt, warm yogurt, big tubs full of yogurt. And I'm totally not making that up at all. It seems very plausible to me. Thanks for listening. Hank, thank you for potting with me.

You can email us at Hank and John at gmail.com. You can also follow us on Patreon or support the podcast directly on patreon at patreon.com slash deer hank. And John, again our email address is hank and John at gmail.com. Nicholas Jenkins edits our podcast. Rosiana Hoss-Rohas helps out with questions. Our theme music is by Gunnarola. I'm John Green on Twitter.

Hank is Hank Green on Twitter if you want to say hi to us there. You can also use the hashtag dear Hank and John. We get some questions that way. Thank you again for listening. And as we say in our hometown. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Also, starting this week, we have Victoria Bungiorno, who is running Dear Hank and John,

helping out with the Patreon and with social media stuff, and also various other things, taking over for Claudia is Victoria. Hello, Victoria. Thank you, Victoria. I apologize for missing your name and your very first week on the job. Uh, and as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.