Dear Hank & John - 7: What to do About Stomach Farts

Episode Date: July 20, 2015

How do you avoid being pretentious when you're intelligent, Charlie and Jimmy's school uniforms, when to look for a new job, and all the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or as we link to Cool It, De Chalet, and Jimmy and Hank. This is the weekly podcast where I hang green and usually John Green, but this week Charlie McDonald and Jimmy Hill answer your questions, give you dubious advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon, but first, does Jimmy have a poem for us? Oh yeah, Hank, I've got a poem right, well we're going to split it. Yeah, we're going to do a line each. Oh.

We're going to read it together. Do you want to start, Jimmy? Mars, I think the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact, it's cold as hell. And there's no one there to raise them if you did. And all this science, I don't understand. It's just my job five days a week. A rocket man. A rocket man.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time. Thanks for that lovely poem. man. And I think it's gonna be a long, long time. Thanks for that lovely poem. The beautiful lyrics of Bernie Taupe in there. He is very prolific. Why is this guy building rockets saying he doesn't know anything about science for? Surely that's kind of a fundamental thing on your CV if your job is to create space craft? Well, I don't think his job is to create space craft. I think his job is just to sit in the space craft,

but it has always seemed kind of odd to me that it's just his job five days a week and now they're sending him to Mars, question mark, because that's gonna take a lot. You can't come home when the week ends. You stole my joke, that's what I was gonna say. Oh, you, so I had that one ready, Hank. You paused for so long, I thought it was

somebody needs to say something. I resorted to stealing a joke for the sake of an awkward silence. Oh, well, there's nothing quite as hilarious as an awkward silence. So let's just have one of those. Oh dear, now I was like, that's the awkward silence that we're editing out.

There it is. Can't wait to see that go. So for everybody who doesn't know, Charlie and Jimmy have both been making YouTube videos for a long time. When did you guys start each? Oh wow, I started back in 2007, I think late 2007. Yeah, same with what I was eight

for 2007, I think that was me. All right, I was January 2007. So we're all pretty old school here. And you guys, we are now all three of us working together on a show, but you are the hosts of it. I'm only very behind the scenes, behind the behind the scenes, called serial time, which happens every morning. What's up with serial time?

Are you at the serial time studios now? We are, absolutely. We're recording with the very fancy microphones we use on serial time. And just to say, Hank, you are always with us in spirit. You know, you might not be with us in the studio, but you're constantly in our minds and in our heart. We're saying we record. We have a picture of you just above the lens of the camera.

Yeah. So we can always look at you and be reminded where the money came from. Is that not a real thing? No, but we might do that now. Okay. I'll go do it now. be reminded where the money came from. Is that not a real thing? No, but we might do that now. I've said it. I'll go do it now. I'm going to come to England sometime in the next year and I'm going to be on serial time and I want to see myself above the camera lens.

We'll get a huge six-foot oil painting commissioned with eyes that follow you around the room. No, yes,, zero times great. So it's a daily morning show, sort of waking up YouTube like a fun alarm clock. Oh, waking up the British YouTube because in America, it comes out at midnight and I'm like, oh, there it is, morning in England. Yeah, every episode we do,

we get at least five or six comments on the time zone, even now, even though we've been doing it like two months. Yeah, it's like, is that morning? Shut up, you guys. Okay, eventually, it's fine. Yeah, well, actually, I am tempted to leave that comment and I've seen that comment and also know that this is a thing that happens every single video.

And yet, when I see in an episode of Zero Time, come online and you tweet, good morning, and I'm about to go to bed. I am tempted to leave that comment. It's just a thing that people want to do. It's just how we operate. I did see you leave a comment on one of the recent Zero Times saying good morning and it's only to struck me that that must have been a very hard thing for you to have done. It's a good job.

Well everyone else was saying it. Yeah. My mum always says it every single episode she leaves a cup of saying good morning. Well, everyone else was saying it. Yeah. My mama always says it. Every single episode she leaves a cup of saying good morning. Oh, I love that. All right, well, I'm loving zero time. It's really fun and hilarious and weird and cute. So good job, guys.

And now we're gonna ask us some questions. You guys wanna answer some questions? Oh, yeah. I wasn't told about this. Come on. You haven't been told about it? No, what are we doing? I thought we were just doing a little ad for serial time and that was the whole thing. We've got to answer questions.

No, I'm ready. It's fine. Just trying to inject some of that old comedy to the end of the day. Charlie refuses to answer questions. It's one of his rules. You can't make eye contact with Charlie. You can't ask Charlie a question. He's likely to be. You also have to cuttsy when you meet him

for the first time. Well luckily I did that, but just because I was super feelin' awkward. There's nothing worse than an awkward curtsy, is that? Is that? It's an awkward movement at the best of times. I appreciated it, all the same. Did you actually curtsy when we met?

I can't remember. No, I made that up. Oh, I mean, it's possible. I do sometimes curtsy. I think that it's kind of awesome. I like the curtsy as an introduction. I think that it is an interesting body movement that is somewhat complicated in its control of all of your body parts.

So, I find it to be more visually pleasing than a bow or a hand shake. Yeah, do you think that's where it evolved from? Do you think it's just essentially a fancy bow? I'd be quite interested to hear the history of the curse. Well, we will... Who's started that? Who's the first person to do a curse? We're going to get people telling us about that on Twitter. I do not doubt it. Oh, I cannot wait. I cannot wait.

It's at cool like and at high underscore Jimmy and at Hank Green. So let us know what's the history of the curtsy. Shall I do the first question? Yeah, do the first question. And put your name first, because that's how it works. Haley asks Dear Charlie and Jimmy and Hank How do you avoid being pretentious when you're intelligence?

This is a really hard one. Well I First want to say that pretentious might not have the exact definition that that you think. Potentious is like trying to look important or trying to look intelligent and often more intelligent or important than you actually are. So, how do you avoid looking pretentious while you're intelligent? Maybe is both the question you wanted to ask and also a really good way of illustrating how to look pretentious, which is what I just did by correcting your grammar on that question.

Yeah, I mean, so pretentious is kind of the same. It's like having a delusion of grandeur, isn't it? So I'd say if you are genuinely quite knowledgeable about a topic and you're speaking about it sincerely and passionately, no more will ever see that as pretentious, because it's coming from an honest place. You'll only come across as pretentious if you're trying to make out that you're clever than you actually are. Like you're just trying to sound smart

for the sake of sounding smart or actually you don't know what you're talking about. Well, I don't know that I agree. I feel like you can sometimes be honestly smart, like just really, really smart, and then other people can see you. And if they don't know what you're saying, they can sometimes be like, he's just a bit pretentious, isn't he?

Because it is both things. It's both, you know, not actually having the actual insight and trying to pretend that you have, but it's also just a perception that people have of you. Well, what I tend to do, if I have a thing that I want to get across, I always kind of try and preface it with some kind of, I don't know this for sure, and the universe is a confusing place, and who knows really what time is, but here's this thing. I always try and slip like a vibe of that into whenever I'm putting across the fact, like here's something that I found out, kind of separate it from me. Yeah, and I think there's just a case of it, it's a case of being aware if somebody maybe

isn't following you if you're trying to explain something. So if somebody seems like there, a little bit lost when you're chatting about something that you happen to know a lot about, just be aware of that and explain things in a slightly simpler or more accessible way. And also be aware of the fact that people might not care about the thing that you're excited about. So they might think that you're pretentious because you continually are really excited about things that you're really excited about. And they're like, why does he keep or why does this person, obviously just projected this onto myself, why does this person continually try and make themselves look so smart, because they just might have different interests than you.

And that's a whole different kind of intelligence where you're looking at a person and you're saying, what is this person, what are they into, and how do I interact with them in a way that will make them excited to be my friend and be talking to me? And also, how do I make this information sort of more interesting to them? with them in a way that will make them excited to be my friend and be talking to me. And also, how do I make this information more interesting to them?

Like, how do I put myself in their shoes and say, like, what's this topic going to be? Because everybody is going to get excited about things for different reasons. So maybe think about that. I have this problem, though. And sometimes people will say things to me, and I have this awful habit of saying, do you actually want to know? Because, which is a really pretentious thing to say,

but it's like, it's my honest response. Like people are like, God, why don't we have wireless chargers yet? Why do we have to have all these cords all around all the time? And I'm like, well, there's an answer to that question. But do you actually want to know it? Because it's going to take about five minutes to explain. And. And.

Well, how do you think you could phrase that better than to be less pretentious about? I should just not say that. I think I should just not bring it up. I think what I know the answer to a question that people are asking rhetorically, I think I should just be like, they are not actually interested in this.

But then sometimes I'm like, well, they keep asking about it. Are they, do they want to know? Should I launch into a five minute monologue on, you know, power induction and electromagnetism? Hey, that's someone I want to hear. So I'm not going to happen right now in serial time. All right, this is in serial time.

I thought you were just over it. I think that's right though. I think actually you can just sort of, if you feel like you're being a little bit pretentious or a little bit nerdy, just own up to that. Be like, I'm aware that I sound like a massive nerd now, so stop me if this gets boring, but. Yeah.

And then go off on your own. No, that's excellent advice for me. That is what I will do next time. I will be like, nice. Look, I'm a nerd and I kind of want to launch, I kind of want to do that, but be aware that I know that you might want me to just shut any second now. Okay, cool, I like this.

This is from Eileen. She says, Dear Jimmy, Charlie and Hank, what are your opinions on school uniforms and clothing restrictions in non-uniform schools? Wow. I went to a school that had very few clothing restrictions, though I'm sure that there were plenty and I'm sure that they mostly restricted the clothes of females because that's how it goes. I can't distract the boys. But yeah, did you guys have school uniforms?

Yeah, I, when I was younger, I can remember watching American teen movies and always being baffled by this idea that in America, you can go to school wearing trainers and jeans. And really jealous, yeah, I had school uniforms as well. I also went to an all-boy school, so I didn't ever experience any kind of like restrictions that were put on girls. It was just restrictions on dudes. Yeah. Did you have like a smart uniform, Jimmy?

Yeah, it was quite smart. We were a tie. In fact, I think the last time I wore a tie in life was because I had to at school. That's the only time it's ever happened. But I quite liked it because it meant that you never had to think about what you wanted to wear for school.

And everyone was kind of on the same level. Like, I think the reason the uniform thing is a thing in the UK is because it's supposedly, it gets rid of any class barriers because like everyone's dressed the same, like you can't tell which kids are less well off than other kids. Which I quite like because it was always quite stressful when we had non-uniform days and you had to think of something cool to wear to school because there's a huge deal around it. So we'd maybe have one day of the year where for charity you could come into school like wearing your cool sports top or a baseball cap.

And I always found that quite stressful. I was like, I don't know what to wear. I need to make a good impression on God. I feel like, and I think this is just, this comes from like, if you go to school every day wearing a uniform, the one day of the year where you don't have to do then, kind of becomes like, you want to treat it like it's a free day, because you're kind of used to wearing those clothes on the weekends.

So I feel like less work happens, like less work tends to happen on those days kind of becomes like you want to treat it like it's a free day because you're kind of used to wearing those clothes on the weekends. So I feel like less work tends to happen on those days where you can just wear whatever you want. But I assume that if you do wear whatever you want every single day of the week that doesn't happen, that's my guess anyway. So what are these clothing restrictions then? What are you not allowed to wear within that,

within the realm of non-scoring? Oh, well, there's, you know, when you can wear anything, there are things you can't wear. Like you can't have curse words or references to drugs on your clothes. You can't, like there's a limit to the length or the shortness of, like shorts and skirts oftentimes. Like you have to be a certain distance from the knee.

And there is also sometimes restrictions on the depth of the cut of the neck. Is the way that our school administrator would say that. And yeah. Wait, so is the teacher wondering around with a ruler then and just making sure that the come here, no, that's a centimeter, how go home? Wow. Yeah, I mean, to me, I am in favor of allowing people

to express themselves and create their identities themselves and create their identities in whatever ways they can, that doesn't seem to be a negative thing to allow people to do. But I do totally understand where you guys are coming from, where you sort of erased that very, very common and very difficult to ignore class distinction. Though, it's weird, because I feel like in any other scenario, I'd completely agree with you,

but I think it's just because living in that world of having uniforms and it never really being a problem, it's just kind of what we're used to, I guess. And there was always like a certain amount of freedom to do some stuff. Like it would always be quite surprising, I think, to anybody looking at kids wearing school uniforms, like how much of themselves they can get across

by like the way that they wear their tie and what they might wear underneath their shirt and like putting their blazer on their head or whatever it might be. Like there's always like ways to make it so that you can show people the kind of person you are. So I never really felt restricted, but maybe I would have if I was not used to it.

Oh yeah, I remember that there's a whole, there's a whole like load of etiquette around how you wear your school uniform at my school. So we had a shirt and a tie and then a jumper over the shirt. And if you had the colors of your shirt over your jumper, that was like a signifier that you were a massive nerd. Like that was the thing that you didn't want to do. You'd get completely ripped apart for that. So it's funny how even within a uniform, kids still find ways. Oh yeah. I've kind of not only expressing yourself, but putting cool signifiers in there for one of the better phrase. Well, Eileen, I think that what we've got for you is basically, the story is about our

school hood and very few actual opinions, because maybe this isn't a topic that super matters a ton when it comes to uniforms. Though I do feel like hooding restrictions when it comes to that seem to out abnormally way upon the females of the world, which seems a little bit odd to me. So maybe school uniforms are a good way to just avoid that particular problem and say everybody wear this, let's not talk about anything else. Yeah. It's my turn. We have a question from Courtney who says, dear Hank and Charlie and Jimmy, this upcoming presidential election will be my first time able to vote for a president. It is both exciting and daunting. I think that I have a general idea of who I might vote for,

but I was wondering if there was any way to keep abreast on the presidential candidates. Oh, wow. You guys aren't American, but you are a politically active British people. Oh, yeah. We have politics, can we? Yeah, we had very exciting election a few months ago. Yeah, was it exciting? I found it quite depressing personally. Yeah, I mean the result was depressing but the lead up to it, there was some excitement there. I think there was a lot of optimism like, oh maybe this is the time it will change. Like maybe the good guys will win. And it did change, it got worse. Yeah, it got a lot worse. It got a lot worse. So we now don't have an NHS And we've decided to get rid of school. We don't have school anymore and bring back killing foxes everyone

Oh, yeah, and we can now kill foxes. So it's really great. It's a really brilliant place to live I don't understand the US election system particularly so Oh, yeah, it's very strange. It's very, we got a whole bunch of, a bunch of weirdness in our election system. But, but I think that, the first time you vote, the first time you're getting into this, it's definitely daunting task to be like,

okay, here are all the issues. There's like 85 things I'm supposed to care about, and I'm gonna have an opinion on all of them, so I better get one quick, and that's terrifying. Like why, and that's, I think a lot of people don't, a lot of young people, like the first elections, they might not vote, just because like they haven't had time to like deal with that and internalize

all of their opinions about these things, and because they have to, you know, make ends meet, and, and, you know, and buy data rate and ramen noodles. So there are places though, there's this website called, I think it's called iSideWith.com, which sort of walks you through all of the issues that it's like, what do you think about gun control?

What do you think about bombing other countries? What do you think about gun control? What do you think about bombing other countries? What do you think about healthcare? And sort of just based on who you are and what you think, it will then, not only it walks you a little bit through the issues themselves and like the different perspectives people have on them. And then it tells you who you are most aligned with politically

in terms of the current field of presidential candidates, which I did and found very accurate. So that's really cool. That sounds really, really great. I think there's a similar app for UK stuff as well, which I used this year and it worked pretty well. But I guess it's just like sort of learning about any new thing, isn't it?

You just need to go away, do a little bit of research, try not to be overwhelmed by it all, because it is quite like a clunky, complicated thing. And it's, it almost feels like quite scary decision to make, like to choose the political party or person you want to align yourself with. So just try not to be overwhelmed by that, and just try your best to fill form

an independent opinion and not be too swayed by friends or family members or stuff that people say on Twitter? Yeah, on that point I'm just feeling like you feel like you have to care about absolutely everything all of a sudden. When I first started, when I was, it was my first time to vote, what I did do was I just like, look to see what the things were that were most important to me. And that was kind of, that's what it uses, my kind of benchmark for, the figuring out the kind of parties that I might important to me. And that was kind of, that's what it uses, my kind of benchmark for, the figuring out the kind of parties

that I might be interested in. But I mean, that in itself is quite hard, isn't it? Because you sort of have to decide which issues you care most about. Like, do I care most about NHS or like, should education be the thing? I did always find instinctively that was, there was at least one thing that was like,

oh yeah, but this, yeah, I obviously really care about that. So if you can find what ever that thing is, if you can just sort of trust you go, oh yeah, that thing that was like, oh yeah, but this, yeah, I obviously really care about that. So if you can find whatever that thing is, if you can just sort of trust you go, oh yeah, that thing, I'd, I'd education actually, yeah, that's the thing I really care about. Then maybe just via around the area and see what everyone's policies are on education.

Yeah, and just don't vote for one of the bad ones. LAUGHTER Yeah, just, just make sure you don't have any country. Yeah, so simple as that. Really. Wow, that was fantastic advice. I think you guys are better at this than me and John are and you should take over the show and have your own,

maybe you should do this every morning, five days a week. What, Charlie and Jimmy's political bit? Where we just say, no, no, just talking, just generally talking together, like I think every morning, like you guys should just talk about stuff. I think you might have already had that idea, Hank. Jimmy, do you wanna do another question?

Yeah, I think it's your turn though, isn't it, Charlie? It is my turn. I mean, I can read one out a few more. Oh, I'm sorry, God, guys, how do I have to keep track? You're both British, I can't, how do you know you? I really hope that for non-British viewers that you will be able to tell me in Jimmy apart,

I think we have pretty distinctive voices, but. You do have very interesting. Okay, good. All right, we got on from Lily, she asks, dear Charlie and Jimmy and Hank. Hello, what are you supposed to do with other people? And just, with other people and your stomach, that is how it's raised,

and your stomach makes a noise that sounds like a fart, and you want to tell everyone it wasn't a fart, but that would just make it sound like it was a fart. What? What? Lily, what are you on about? What? Your stomach makes a noise and it sounds like a fart

and you want to say, that wasn't a fart, but as soon as you say that was a fart. Okay, so everyone's like, it was a fart, that wasn't it? Lily's stomach is making fart noises, essentially. Yeah, that's what we need to do. She wants to know what to do about it. I would say seek medical advice. Oh no!

Oh no! No, no, it's fine. Do you know what? I've actually got experience of this. I was once filming for a TV show and I had a microphone on under my shirt, a little lapel microphone. And I wasn't feeling great that day, I think maybe I had quite a late night and my stomach was doing

things I didn't want it to be doing the next day. And apparently this was very audible on the microphone, which was under my shirt. So, embarrassingly, in front of a whole crew, a whole room full of people, proper professional people with cameras and lights had to stop filming until my stomach stopped making these noises because it was ruining the film. It was so embarrassing. So I totally feel you're pain lily

and you kind of just have to laugh it off like any embarrassing thing. Yeah, the trick to dealing with embarrassment is self-confidence, which is a trait that is entirely impossible to acquire as far as I can tell. Oh no, come on. I'm going to acquire it. It's fake it till you make it, isn't it?

Yes. That's what I've been trying to do. That you just try and pretend you just act like a confident person, and then eventually you start being a more confident person. That's always been my technique. That does. I definitely agree. It's just, you just say, it really you just sort of have to try and figure out how to not care about it as much. And to get that across to people. Turn it into a joke. So guys, it's just my stomach. I haven't farted, but I have pooped myself. So I'm'm gonna have to leave.

And then, you know, I think that also out who your real friends are as well. No, you see, you gotta say, look, I ate a demon and I was helping my family. It was living in the house. There's only one way to kill it and it was to eat it alive. It was a very small demon about the size of a coin. And I just took it with water and now it's in there.

It's doing its thing. But you know, I'm going to digesting away and it won't be a problem tomorrow. My bigger problem personally is sometimes I really have to fart in public and it's just not gonna not happen. So even sometimes you have to be like, look, I have to be that old guy who just doesn't care anymore. And it's just like, and then that's, do you know, like make an event of it before it happens? That's what I do sometimes. And then that's, do you not like make an event of it before it happens?

That's what I do sometimes. Oh, that's a good idea. I just, I, I, I build everyone up to it before it comes. Oh, just like quiet in the room to make sure everyone can hear it, comes out and then we try to move on. Right, so tiny little drum roll.

And then that's the crescendo. Yeah, I do that a lot. Oh my God, I love it. Well, we've got, we've got some really good advice all round here. That's good. Yeah, there you go, Lily. All right, so Catherine asks, she says, Did Jimmy, Charlie, and Hank? I'm coming up on the one year anniversary

of starting my first full-time job. I'm enjoying it and I've learned to turn so far and I'm planning to stay for a while longer, but also trying to think proactively about my future. Do you have any advice for developing an early career, making adult decisions about when and where to move, or how to go about looking for new opportunities? I'm also curious on how one decides when to go back

to school and get a grad degree. Oh wow, there's a lot in there, Catherine. Yeah, I, I mean, that's life, isn't it? That is life in a question. It's hard. Yeah, how do you make decisions about big important things? It's really, really hard. And I feel like I haven't lived a lot of this stuff myself.

Like I came straight out of school, went into making YouTube videos, never had to think about getting a graduate's degree, never had to, yeah, I just, I feel like I have to sit this one out because I would be having more trouble than your account for it right now. I think, yeah, I can totally see how it's really easy to get trapped in full-time employment because when somebody starts paying you money every month to do a thing, that's quite,

it's quite easy to get used to that. Even if you don't necessarily enjoy the job, the money thing is quite nice, especially if you've not had that before. So I guess it's just about, I don't know, maybe looking at where you wanna be, kind of your dream job, your dream life scenario, seeing other people who are in similar positions to that and maybe looking at how they got there

and following a similar route to them, I don't know. If you have a job that doesn't, it doesn't look to you like this job is going to lead to better jobs within the same company or you continuing to develop your skills and continuing to do different cool things that excite or interest you, then you probably do want to be looking around, at least semi-actively, at things that your friends are doing, things that if you've been through college already, things that you are, you know, people who graduated around the time same time as you are doing. And yeah, and being open to that, there's nothing wrong with looking for other jobs

if you, while you have a job, that is a totally normal thing. And you shouldn't be devoting tons and tons of time to that just because you probably don't have that time to devote and you should also have a life and enjoy things. But yeah, I think it's totally normal and I expect, you know, when I have employees that I feel like they are being underutilized, I expect them to be looking for other jobs. And also as an employer, I think that it's my responsibility to make sure that they aren't being underutilized at the company.

So if I have an opportunity for them to advance and to be doing something more interesting than their current job, then I feel like that's my responsibility. And if I don't do that, then I should expect that they will eventually leave. And that's one reason why I, you know, when I look at the people I've got working for me, I'm like, I need to make sure that this person in particular, we find something for them that's more interesting or less awful than their current job. And then they will not leave and go away

and not be working for me anymore. So, you know, I think that there's a lot to be said for being really good at the job you're at in right now because that will affect, you know, you, like, you, you will get better recommendations from your current employer and it will also potentially lead to getting, you know, promoted at your current position, whatever that position is. And yeah, so I, you know, definitely don't just think like this job is a full-time job and like it's just the money. It's always good to be thinking about how you can do your job really well.

And I think that that has in my life at least led to more personal satisfaction when I'm not thinking about it as just a paycheck. I'm actually thinking about it as like this is part of my life. And I'm spending a lot of time doing this show, I should be doing it, you know, I should be believing in it and doing the best job I can, even if it's not a job that I particularly love, or I think will lead me to my ultimate dream, I think that, you know, working hard at whatever job you have does kind of lead you toward your ultimate dream, because it exemplifies your work ethic and how you approach life. So yeah, I've had good luck with just working hard even if I don't really like my job. Yeah, and I think when you reach that point where you not only don't like a job, but maybe even if

you do like a job, but feel even if you do like a job, but feel you're not really getting anything out of it, then maybe that's a clue that it's time to move on. Yeah. Like if you're not getting anything out of this anymore, if you're not developing with it, then it's like, well, what's the point? Yeah, and you can absolutely,

I encourage you to talk to your supervisor, your manager, your boss about that, because when I have, I always, I like that, when people come to me and they say like, look, I feel like I could be doing more interesting things and hear some of the more interesting things I think I could be doing. And, you know, I often agree with them

and I'm like, hey, yeah, good ideas because I can't have all the ideas. It's quite a hard one to answer without knowing what Catherine's job is. Like, she could have an amazing job. She could be a millionaire. She could be like some high flying exec who gets to get around the world.

But we just don't know. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to answer this question in a way that works for both someone who works at a fast food restaurant and someone who works in investment. I'm like, I'm just, I read it, my turn again. This question is from Daniel who says, do you're Hank and Charlie and Jimmy?

Do you think science, slash scientific thinking, can determine right from wrong? Are there objective ways to measure morality? Well, that's another big one. Oh, wow. Yeah. Can we go back to the font ones? Okay.

This is too odd. What do you think, Hank? I can't say this is a really tricky one. No, I don't think that there are objective ways to measure morality. I so like Kant had his idea of the categorical imperative, which was like, this is the way to create a universal morality.

And the way to create the universal morality was, you know, you should behave in a way that you think if everyone behaved in the same way as me, then the world would work really well. But that doesn't work because not everyone will behave the same way as you. And people and different cultures believe and act in different ways. And that has to be okay. Because otherwise, if we are, you know, like the one thing

that that breeds is intolerance, and then saying like, look, the way that you guys live your lives is wrong, and is destroying the idea of what it is to be human, and thus we must kill you. And that's where all the big problems come from. I think that this sort of idea of moral absolutism is what creates a lot of conflict.

Thinking about it, I feel like there maybe is a way to objectively measure morality without having that kind of absolute morality, I guess, because I feel like in that case, isn't morality, it's ultimately what people perceive morality to be. So maybe if there was a way where you could kind of speak to every single individual on the planet and ask them every question, every big important question,

every small question related to morality and ask them what their opinion was, then you could come up with a percentage, maybe that said, you know, trying to think of something like petting a dog is 99% moral according to the human race. That's the example. That's the best I could come up with. Does that sound feasible or is that just, I'm just trying to figure out a way to answer

this question where I can say yes somehow. And that was my best. So there's two different things. There's allowing every person to define their own morality, which I think you have to do to a small extent, but then there's the larger version of allowing a culture to define its morality. And I think that that is a thing. Like you can say, like, you know, there is a structure that we define as humans. It is the thing that we call culture, and it is different for different people.

And we, there is definitely, I think, there are ways to evolve that and to make that, you know, more tolerant is the thing that I tend to want cultures to be. But in terms of the nitty-gritty specific details, like petting a dog versus a cat, like which one of these things is more moral, there's definitely gonna be some gray area there. And there's even weird gray area with something as seemingly unobjective, or seemingly as objective as murder,

where you have some cultures that are like, yeah, like an America where it's okay to kill people as long as the government has gone through a lengthy and expensive process to say that, yes, we should kill this person because they did something very bad. And in some countries that, and in fact, in my own personal morality, I think that that is wrong.

And then you have war, which is just like, how do we rationalize this? But we seem to. So, I mean, that's, I mean, morality in general is such a difficult thing to rationalize. And I think it'd be impossible to ever reach a full consensus with it, because you've got literally hundreds of thousands of years of history that has kind of shaped our morality and the human condition. I mean, that's what it comes down to, with it, because you've got literally hundreds of thousands of years of history that has shaped our morality and the human condition. That's what it comes down to, isn't it? It's a human thing, and I think if we could reach a full consensus, we'd become a bit more robotic as a society. Yeah, and I like the idea that we change and we evolve and hopefully we had in good directions.

And I think there's also a thing here that is the desire to scientifically be able to say everything. And there are just some things that we cannot scientifically talk about. There are some questions that science isn't supposed to answer. The science isn't designed to answer. Things like, what is the difference between right and wrong, which I think that's a human question

that every human has to decide. And then collectively, a culture decides, and then collectively, a culture is joined together and decide for the world. And I think that greater stability will be had if we have some standardization there, and that standardization involves tolerance of other cultures and other people. But like, it's impossible to say.

I've got any even tricky question here. Angela asks, dear Charlie and Hank and Jimmy, what were your best and worst subjects when you're at high school? Whoa. The big questions here. Wow, is that. I really liked art. You and Tom, really? Yeah, I was into it.

I've kind of blocked the whole of school. Yeah, I actually really enjoy it, so I've decided to forget about it. I mean, I put this question in the notes and I can't really remember, I like, why aren't my report cards searchable on Google so I could look this up? Oh God, imagine, I don't know, I don't want my report of God out there. I remember that I was terrible at sport.

That was definitely my worst subjects at school. I was the kid who would always have some made up ailment that would stop me playing tennis or whatever it was. What did that? Yeah, I always had a note. So yeah, I mean sport was just horrible. I mean my memories of sport at school were just cold wet, grey days on a frozen rugby field, having a ball thrown at me. I did that terrible thing where as soon as I realised I wasn't amazing at it, I pretty much gave up. Like, my first, when I first went to secondary school, I was like, yeah, I'm going to do sport, I'm just going to be great, and I tried to play rugby, and I tried out for the team, and I got in the second team. So I didn't get in the first team, and then I was like, and then I just never was interested in sports again.

That makes a lot of sense. Since I've got to know you better through working on serial time, quite closely, like we hang out, like at least two or three times a week. You're actually secretly quite competitive. Oh, I'm very, well, it's not a secret anymore, but yeah, I am competitive. I just like, don't make, like, to make a point of it. I don't like to make a point of it when we're actually competing.

Yeah, and it's not in a horrible way. Like it's not in a really gross, like kind of soccer mom type way. It's like, it's just, it's something that's there. I just like winning and, no, I think it what it is is I just find myself getting really embarrassed when I lose. That's really what it is.

Okay. Well, you kind of the kid who, if he was losing the race would just throw themselves down and they pretend to have a knee injury. I'm usually, it still happens right now like if I try and play a board game with people and I'm on like a team and I can't quite figure out the answer to give the like playing pitch

an area and it's not quite going well, I would just be like mortified. It's like so horribly embarrassed. I would just like not have a good time at all. So that's me. Inside Charlie McDonald's. Like, I didn't like PE. That sounds about right, really. Oh, yeah, I was sorry, go on, I can't remember.

I definitely did well. I don't think that I, well, no, I was good at memorizing stuff, which was most of American education. So I just, I feel like I did, I did well in most things. I didn't really ever get a C until C until college, but I do remember that I almost failed a class in landscape design, so like the placing of plants around a yard. That's not a real class. The beautification of a home for a business. And I almost failed that class because I skipped it too many times.

But I had a freak out and I screamed and I kicked, you know, I stormed out of the classroom and I beat up a locker. And then the teacher was like, maybe we'll take a couple of these absentees off of your record. Wow. Just let you have the B. So, yeah. I almost fell off that class. But I freaked out and it saved me.

I would love to see you two play a board game together. That would be incredible. I think that there would certainly be tears. I've gotten that. Possibly violence. Are we not done there, Hank? I thought I'd played card games before. I thought I played a card game with you,

Vidcon last year. But really? Yeah. Well, obviously it wasn't a big deal for you. Oh, we should, though. We have the guys from drunk beer and board games. My drunk beer and board games are goingunk, my drunk beer and board games are going to be at VidGan this year.

So maybe we can make maybe we could play with them. Do you drink Charlie? I do, yeah. This is going back to, you know, changing your what you think is moral, I don't know a certain extent. Obviously drinking isn't sort of like a huge issue, but over the course of the last couple of years

I have started drinking. I was completely T-Total for a long time. Like I was T-Total, I knew I was T-Total before I even was old enough to actually drink. Like when I was 16, I was like, I am never gonna drink. And yeah, that has changed. If you look very closely in Charlie's last six vlogs,

he's completely drunk in every single one of them. He can barely stand up. Ha ha not true. Should we do another question? This is our last question of the questions. Before we get to the news, this one's from Grace, who says, Dear Hank and Charlie and Jimmy. My friend's little sister has a toy remote control car that started moving and lighting up on its own. They've had it for five years and the batteries

haven't been changed since they got it. They got used to it and never had a remote control. They got it used and it never had a remote control. Recently the headlights lit up and started moving a little forward and back. That's not what it says. They got it used and it never had a remote control. Recently the headlights lit up and it started moving a little forward and backward. Any idea what might be happening?

Charlie, is it a ghost? Yeah, exercise it. Yeah, exercise. Not exercise. Exercise. Exercise. No, exercise it. Just give it a good workout.

Wear it out and then it will be once it's nice and tied, it will stop moving. That's why I'm in. That actually would work. If you want to make it stop moving, you just keep it moving for a long enough, or you know, take the batteries out. Yeah, no, that would be, I, yeah, it's definitely a ghost, I think we've established on this podcast that when I was, when I was, I actually did a little research on this question because I wanted to see if like radio transmissions from nearby things,

whether that was radio controlled microphones or somebody's radio controlled airplane, they might have a really strong transmitter or a drone or something, might be making this thing move, like picking up those signals. So that is possible, that is a thing that can happen. It is also possible that it just has a loose wire. But I did find in the first, like, this was not an uncommonly searched question. And in the first, like, three responses, there was a ghost bulletin board forum

that was like, yes, it is probably a ghost. And I was like, wow, they sure did have that answer, you know, really ready to go. I like the idea of the of the undead just deciding to possess a remote control car. Like that's how they're coming back to planet Earth. I'm going to take over that remote control car. It's just a really bashful ghost. Yeah, just a bit shy.

I don't really want to possess people, yeah. I just have a go at this little car. We'll just just move it back and forth a little less. That's me done. Hey, maybe this spirit world don't get a choice. Maybe it was just like, oh, right. So I'm a ghost, but I'm a little less, that's me done. Hey, maybe this spirit will don't get a choice. Maybe it was just like, ah, right, so I'm a ghost, but I'm a remote control car, great, brilliant.

This is, I would watch this movie. I tell, tell me more. I'm almost definitely sure I was watching Freddie Wong's channel recently and I saw that they, I think he did like a sketch of some sort where it's like a cop gets possesses a remote control car and that's like, and it's, that everybody loves the car and it's great a cop gets possesses a remote control car. And that's like, and everybody loves the car, and it's great at doing its job.

So I think that might be taken. Okay. I mean, my sister used to have a Furby, and that in itself. Oh, what if the test possessed a Furby? I mean, that was supposed to be terrifying. Oh, my God, I mean, that. It's like Chuckie, except with a Furby.

And then it's just sort of hobbling around slowly, being menacing. It would be really hard to have a Furby actually hurt you. I feel like they can't grasp things or move their arms. But... I know they just have to crush you psychologically. Yes, that's what I'd be so creepy about it. No, that's not necessarily a thing, Ron.

That would be a really good horror movie. Just psychologically crushing. Like they trap you in a room, and then they just, every time you fall asleep, they just scream at you and terrorize you. And that's the whole movie. It's just not letting you ever forget that you have this possessed toy in your face.

I'll be pretty low budget as well. I think we could do that for one of it. And now it is time for the news. From Mars, the fourth planet in our solar system and AFC Wimbledon, a fourth tier English soccer team. Guys, do you have any AFC Wimbledon news for us? We've Glee and Amazement, I bring you probably very important news. The dons have signed Skunfort, United Striker, Lyle Taylor for, wait for it, and undisclosed

fee. Ooh. Taylor. I don't, I feel so bad for John. I feel so bad. I feel like I initially wanted to do this with like genuine enthusiasm because I feel so bad for John. I feel so bad. I feel like I initially wanted to do this with like genuine enthusiasm because I feel like the best bit of like, you know, this whole new section is the fact that John is so

actually excited about this football team that is so small, but I think it's too difficult. Yeah, Lyle Taylor, the high dim, undersclosed fee. He scored four times in 25 appearances last season. Wow. Wow. Wow. Four out of 25. Is that good in football? I don't know anything about football. It's amazing.

It's incredible. I don't, I read that statistic, I didn't believe it. So he really is worth his undisclosed fee. Yes. Wow. I mean, I am trembling with excitement right here. I don't think I've ever been this excited before. I've got some, oh no, this is a continuation of that news story.

It's not over guys, I know. Neil Ardley, the manager of the Dons, said he was interested in Taylor because he has very good movement and technique. His finishing is very good and he is also quick. Of course, I have no idea whether that's a big deal or not. and technique, his finishing is very good, and he is also quick. Of course, I have no idea whether that's a big deal or not. It sounds impressive. I mean, that's literally the first thing that came up when we searched for AFC Wimbledon.

So I think that means it's good. I mean, it's a player. They got a new player. That's a big football deal. That's definitely news. That's definitely news. It's an actual deal. It has been made. It is a deal. Yes, and now they have a new striker, which is a great name for a position on a football field. He strikes things. Sounds very impressive.

I think mostly balls. Well, you know, he's got good movement and technique. That's what that's the manager saying that. An expert. He's got good movement and technique and he's finishing is very good. What's not to like there? Also, I've done some more. And he has also quite.

I've done some more research. Wimbledon have not disclosed the length of his contract. They're very seasoned at the moment. That's true. Interesting. We don't know how long he'll be there. There's just so much mystery wrapped up in this. All right, I got some Mars news.

In Mars news, some very surprising rocks were found in Gail crater by the Curiosity over this week, the rocks, which are striated and dense with silica, are completely unexpected and very similar to granite rocks that one might find here on Earth. Most Mars rocks we find are clearly igneous rocks, but this granitic rock containing quartz and feldspar means that Mars probably billions of years ago had continental plates that drifted just like Earth's. Those plates have long since frozen in place, but these rocks indicate that Mars was once even more Earth-like than we previously imagined.

That's really interesting. I found out recently that Earth was the only planet with tectonic plates, and now that has been squashed by yet more science. That's cool. Yeah. I've told you that I got to see the curiosity rover before it was on Mars, right? Uh, no.

I haven't told you that. I feel like I must have at some point. Even that, you just genuinely don't remember any interactions we've ever had. Um, seems to be a possibility. Not a good rememberer. I will say that about me. OK.

Well, that's fine. Yeah, no, I got, I, I, I, I love got a lovely man from NASA showed me around the Jet Propulsion Labs before curiosity was sent off to Mars. So I got to see, I didn't get to touch it, so I threw a window, so lots of people working on it, but it was there in front of me, and it was very exciting. That's a big thing. And no, they do not like you to touch things like that. I went and got to see some pieces of the James Webb Space Telescope,

and they made me put on all kinds of special clothes. I didn't get to touch anything at all. What do you mean by a special clothes? I mean, pretty hat-to-all. Yeah, I'm imagining sort of like a Victorian bull gown right now. No, it was just a British schoolboy's uniform. Okay, so nothing weird. Just blazer and a tie. Surely. Okay, so nothing weird. There's blazer and a tie and...

Surely, I put my collar on top of the blazer so that everyone knew I was a total nerd. I will say this about my experience in that as a jet propulsion labs. The guy I met at NASA, I forget his name and I feel bad about that, but he was so smart and I spent like a good, like, 80% of that trip just sort of nodding while he said stuff

that just went completely over my head. So intelligent, and it was so hard to keep up with him, but I still found it awesome being there. That's how I felt with the surprising rocks that you've just read out Hank. I had no idea about any of that. Didn't understand. A word.

I'm not really a geology guy either, so I didn't know most of what I just said. I just said the stuff that it said in the article that I was paraphrasing. I just love the idea that there are surprising rocks out there. That that's a thing. I've never been surprised by a rock. In Montana, we have these things called erratics, which are exactly surprising rocks, is exactly what they are.

They are rocks that shouldn't be here, so that they are er surprising rocks, is exactly what they are. They are rocks that shouldn't be here, so that they are erratic rocks, and they are mostly deposited by the recession of glaciers during ice ages, so there will be this big rock that just doesn't belong, and it's like, how did this giant rock that has nothing to do with the local geology get here? And it's like, oh yeah, it was carried along by a glacier

and then the glacier melted, and then it was there. Oh, that's really cool. That's cool. Yeah. Surprising rocks. Yeah, surprising rocks. The new feature. And now we're news from surprising rocks.

All right. That is it for this episode of Dear Hank and John without John and guest hosted by the hosts of serial time Charlie McDonald and Jimmy Hill. Thank you guys for joining us. Thank you. Does this mean that there are more Dear Hank and John podcasts without John, it would be.

I think that we are now equal with the number of John episodes that there are. And that next week we will, we will, it will no longer be mostly Dear Hank and John. It will be mostly Dear Hank and other people. But then, John will come back and we will overtake that total once again. Though I wouldn't be surprised if it hits roughly 50-50 and kind of like whibbles around

that mix for the next couple years as John continues to do too many things. I think you just need to audition for a new brother, Hank. You need to do like an ex-factorstyle audition thing who will be the new John. He might be doing that right now. We don't know. Yeah, mate. We call her these people, he's talking to. Who knows?

Oh, this could be the audition. All right, everybody. Our theme music is by Gunnarola, the podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins. If you have any questions for us, you can please send them to HenkenJohn at gmail.com and as we say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.

Don't forget to be awesome. We did our best.